All language subtitles for Single Parents s02e15_English

Okay, I think we got
everything we need

for the Valentine's Day
dinner.

We got tablecloths,
sparkling grape juice,

and a Doomsday pamphlet

I got from that weird guy
in the parking lot

that I folded
into a swan.

Oh.
This is gonna be awesome.

Is it?
'Cause to remind you,

it is dinner cooked
by our kids

at the school
on Valentine's night.

Could anything kill
sexual energy faster?
What?

Chez Second Grade
is hella sexy.

Wait,
that's inappropriate.

Off the record.
Off the record!

Besides, if you
didn't want to do it,

you shouldn't have volunteered
to run it with me.

I didn't.
You signed me up.

Now I got to spend
this holiday with all
the people I hate most --

the parents in our class.

What about
that new single dad

everybody's
going crazy for?

The one with the messenger bag
I can't seem to find online.

Colin?
The British guy?

He is so awkward
around me.

We had one run-in
at the gas station,

and he brings it up
every time I see him.

It's like,
"Move on with your life."

Okay, who cares
about the other parents?

The important thing is
we're hanging out again.

Sorry we had to take a break
while I was seeing Tracy.

But then she dumped ya butt.

She did.
She dumped ma butt.

So tomorrow, I'm gonna make up
for being a bad friend.

Will and Angie are back.

In fact, the new teaser
for "Joust!" just came out.

Do you want to watch it
a hundred times?

Let's take it slow.
Okay.

Wait, what is this?

Batteries, tampons,
smoke alarms?

These things
weren't on the list.

Yeah, it's on the PTA
for letting me use
their credit card.

-- Captions by VITAC --

[ Smooch! ]

[ Cellphone rings ]

Hey.

* Lady in red *

Douglas:
Good afternoon, my love.

What's happening?

Are you
"Lady in Red"-ing me?

You're damn right I am.
[ Music shuts off ]

Valentine's Day,

you're a woman,
and I am prepared.

Got the bear,
got the card,

got enough chocolate

to turn that Hotel for Dogs
into Jonestown.

[ Laughs ]
Douglas, we don't need
to do this.

You're dating a woman
who doesn't subscribe

to archaic cultural norms,
okay?

I'm evolved.

Oh, you are.
But evolved from whom?

Athena?

Persephone? Aphrodite?
[ Chuckles ]

Those are Greek broads.
Oh!

You were doing so well.
You should've just stopped.

Oh, oh, you know what?
I gotta go.

Love you.
Love you too.

[ Receiver clacks ]
Your next patient is
in the Choo-Choo Room.

Okay, for the last time,
it's called Exam Room Two.

No.

Big Red:
Ding-dong, Chipmunk.

Big Red.

I'm here for a skin check.

I've been sizzling
in the Panamanian sun
for the past year,

and...
I'm cooked through.

[ Softly ]
Even the thick parts.
A year?

I-I thought your trip was
supposed to last five months.

I was sex trafficked.

Voluntarily.

[ Sniffs ]

Something's different.

You're in
a relationship now.

[ Sniffs ]

She has a small business
and has a child

who will host
the Thanksgiving Day Parade

in about 20 years.

Y-You know,
I could refer you

to some fantastic
dermatologists.

Oh!

I dig. I dig.
If your gal finds out

that you're here with me,
she's gonna scream so loud

her ass'll fall out.

Oh, God,
you paint with words.

A-And as far as
my lady friend,

she would handle it
perfectly fine.

You see, she is
an evolved woman.

I don't care who she is.

When a woman is in love,
she's jealous.

Well,
we are deeply in love.
Are you sure?

Sounds like maybe
her jets have cooled.

You're wrong.

Her jets are...firing.

Oh, you like jets,
do you?

How about
a couple of jumbos?

A-A-Assist! Stacy!
Female assist!

Alright, folks.

The name of the game
is tips.

That's why we've got you
bartending, Graham.

I don't know
how to bartend.
It's simple.

Bat those doe eyes,

agree with everything
the customer says,

and when in doubt, always say,
"I hear you, partner."

Now, where's my fiddler?
Sophie: I keep telling you,

I don't know
how to play violin.

I play the clarinet.

And I keep telling you --

nobody's smooching
to a woodwind.

It's Valentine's Day.

Wet lips get tips.
Now hit it.

[ Bow grinds ]

[ Violin plays "Twinkle,
Twinkle, Little Star" off-key ]

**

Hey.

Homily's got strep,

so she asked me
to help out in the kitchen.

Doesn't that mean
you have strep?

Nah, just a fever.
Hurts when I swallow.

Tell me where to go.
[ Clears throat ]

Miggy,
give us a moment.

What should we do?

He sounds contagious,
but we're understaffed.
[ Sighs ]

I know.

Let's roll the dice,
man.

I-I'm not eating
any of that crap.

Are you?
Definitely not.

Miggy,
hit the kitchen.

Cool.

[ Mutters ]

Oh, God.
There's the new British dad.

Will, look away.
Look away.

[ British accent ]
Hi, Angie. Will.

Hi, Colin.
Remember
the gas station?

We met there.

Yep. Yeah, we've been
over this, Angie.

Several times.

Well, I was getting gas.
To put in my gas hole.

You keep calling it that.

It's accurate, but odd.

I don't know if you've
been by our old hang,

but, whoa, is there news
at the gas station.

They have,
uh, Danishes.

I can buy you one.
You...

What is happening
right now?

We cannot seem to let go
of the gas station.

I just pray one day I'll
be released from this hell.

Oh.

Hey,
you like scratchers?

Beep, beep!
Honk, honk!

$30 on six!

Oh, my God.

The weird thing is,

I-I rehearsed that conversation
like a thousand times.

Every time I'm around him,
I just melt.

I'm probably overreacting.

It wasn't
that bad, right?

Angie.
You called it a "gas hole."

**

Bonjour.
Welcome to Chez Second Grade.

Name?

You know who we are.

You made me
carry you inside

so you wouldn't get
your shoes dirty.

[ Clears throat ]
Name?

It's easier if we
just play along.

Poppy Banks.
Ah.

Banks, Banks, Poppy...

Yeah, no,
I'm not seeing it.

Well, you better see it.

We put down
a $60 deposit.

Oh, here it is.
Ooh.

Ooh.
Sorry, but looks like

we had to give
your table away.

VIP showed up.

But maybe we could
work something out.

Rory,
I'm not tipping you.
Fine.

Then you can go...
stand by the bar.

With the rest
of the Valley trash.

You okay?

You seem a bit on edge.
Yeah.

I just need to tell you
about something,

and I-I'm really not sure
how you're gonna react.

Oh, God.
You voted for him, didn't you?

I knew it.
I was too scared to ask.

N-No, no.
It's -- It's about today.

Uh, Big Red showed up
to get some moles checked,

and, uh,
before I could escape

from the Choo-Choo Room --
Dammit, Stacy! --

uh, she dropped her gown,
and, um, I saw everything.

Oh, my God.
Now, relax.

There is no need
to be jealous.

I'm not jealous.
I'm worried.

Is her skin okay?

You're not mad?
Why would I be mad?

You're a doctor
doing your job.

R-Right. Okay.

Alright.
That -- That's wonderful.

I'm -- I'm very happy with,
uh...with your reaction.

Rory,
how's the table coming?

Name?

You doing okay, Angie?

I'm still spiraling
about Colin.

I haven't even tried the
Danishes at the gas station.

I can't vouch for them.

What if he tries one
a-a-and it's bad?

[ Sighs ]
I'll look so stupid.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Gotta say, I've never seen you
this frazzled over a guy before.

Well, except for the guy
who delivers the circulars.

Danny.

**

Oh. Danny.

Looks like we're
both early birds, hmm?

Thanks.
You know, you seem so handy.

Any chance
you know how to fix

a broken
bedside table lamp?

'Cause I have
a broken bedside table lamp.

It's by my bed.

Sorry. I'm not very good
with that stuff.

Okay.

[ Sprinkler running ]
Oh, watch out
for the sprinkler!

Oops. Gotcha again.
[ Laughs ]

You know, I'm starting to think
Danny might not be interested.

Uh, cha-yeah.
He's way out of both
of our leagues,

but Colin
would be great for you.

I know, bro.
He's perfect.

He's like if Paddington
were a man.

Hey, why don't I
talk to Colin?

You know, one hot dad
to another.

Let me do this for you.

No, I don't want you
to do anything for me.

You know, right now,
I could be home,

opening cans of Friskies
to meet the neighborhood cats.

Just stay out of it.

You know, Miggy,
if I fix this,

she's gonna thank me
later.

Fo sho, so sho.

Also,
my ears are plugged up.

I didn't hear
any of that.

Are you sure
you're feeling alright?

You know
that pot is empty.

I'm hoping this doesn't last
more than an hour.

Hey, Colin. Sorry.
Could I talk to you for a sec?

Ah. For the last time,
the -- the bag was a gift.

I don't know
where it's from.

That's your fourth milk.
You might wanna slow down.

I can handle it.
I took a Lactaid.

You sure you're okay?

Of course I'm okay.

I can't believe they're charging
market prices for fish sticks.

It's for
a good cause, Douglas.

I mean, it's --

A wine fridge
in the faculty lounge?

Oh, hell no.
That's crazy.

I'm getting to the bottom
of this.

Barkeep.
One more.

[ Sighs ]

Tough day?

You don't know
the half of it.

I hear you, partner.

Graham,
can I confide in you?

That's what I'm here for.

I saw Big Red today,
and I told Poppy,

and she didn't even
get jealous.

She didn't get jealous?
That's not great.

Exactly, and it's only
been six months.

[ Sighs ]

She's probably
over it already.

When you're right,
you're right.
I don't know.

Maybe she's lost
the passion,

and what's a relationship
without passion?

Without passion,
ya dead.

Okay. So, that's it.
She's over me.

You know what?
You hit me with some
tough things today, kid,

but I needed to hear it.

Let's settle up.

Milk is $9?

Gratuity not included.

[ Exhales sharply ]

Okay.

[ Exhales sharply ]

Your rabbit food
is done.

You drenched this
in balsamic!

We were trying
to drown it.

It was a mercy killing.

Miggy was supposed to be
helping you with this,

and where is Will?

He disappeared
20 minutes ago!

So, she was flirting
with me?

She was so off-putting.

Yeah.
That's an American thing.

It's actually considered
very sexy here. [ Chuckles ]

We also let people die if they
don't have health insurance,

but, trust me,
she's into you.
Really?

Well, to tell you
the truth,

I do find her quite...
fetching.

[ Chuckles ]
I thought she hated me,

the way she kept
torturing me

with stories
about the gas station.

Yeah. I can see how
you got there. [ Chuckles ]

But give her a chance

because she's actually
really great when
you get to know her.

Is that her,
sputtering from the shadows?

Oh, my God.
She's sweating.

Without turning around,
I'm gonna say, yes, that's her.

Be back in a jiff.

Now, I trust this table
suits the both of you?

Right next
to the restrooms. Okay.

Yes.
[ Toilet flushes ]

I did not hear the sink.

Oh.

Alright, I am starved.

Uh, you want to split
the spaghetti and jello?

Poppy, we need to talk.

Um, Graham and I -- we --
we had a few belts,

and he said -- and --
and now, these are his words,

not mine -- that, um...

our relationship
is dead.

Aw, such a sweet boy.

Wait, what?

I told you about Big Red,

and you weren't even fazed
at all.

Why weren't you jealous?
Well, should I be?

Did something happen?
No.

Oh.
Then why would I be jealous?

Because you love me.
Supposedly.

Excuse me?
[ Stammering ]

[ Off-key violin music plays ]
S-Sophie, d-do you mind?

We're in the middle
of a thing here.

If I don't finish
this song,

I'm gonna get it
from my manager.

Here. Find another table.
There you go.

Look...the passion
is obviously gone for you.

I mean, if I found out
that one of your exes

showed up at the Winebrary
and took his clothes off --

Yeah, I'd call the cops

because there'd be a naked man
at a feminist bookstore,

or a woman, based on that
one time I studied abroad.

Really?
Th-- No, you know what?

Don't distract me
while we're arguing.

The point is I
would have been riled up

because I would have wanted you
to know that I cared.

Douglas, if me being
a jealous, crazy person

is the only way that
you know I care about you,

then I feel sorry for you.

Oh, so, now you
feel sorry for me?

Yeah, it's sad.

Then I guess
I'm just a sad man.

Douglas.

I'm walking out the door.

**

The coats
have disappeared.

**

Girls, that is
for the parents.

Get that bread
on some tables now.

We're starving.
Is someone gonna check
on Miggy?

Just gonna take
a little cat nap.

Up in no time.

Miggy, you're sick.
Go home.

No, he is fine.

What the hell, Will?

What is the big deal?
You like Colin.

Now, thanks to me,
he knows that.

He does?

What are you thinking?!

God, this is
none of your business.

Of course it is.
You're my best friend.

Look, I know we took a break,
but I'm trying --

Will, we haven't talked
in forever.

You were busy with Tracy

and then busy
getting over Tracy,

and I was over here
doing my own thing.

Did you even know
that I ate

one of those jumbo barrels
of Chex Mix?

Yeah. And I think I did
permanent damage to my colon.

I'm seeing a specialist.

Okay.

Well, I've been
through stuff, too.

I had a very serious girlfriend
for two hours,

whose name escapes me
right now.

Well, you missed when I got
really into "Pokémon Go."

I got hit by a car.

You think that's something?

I actually hit a woman
with my ca--

Oh, my gosh, Angie.

Why did you run
into the woods?

Yeah, I'm Italian!
By the way...

[Exhales sharply]
Graham hung out with his dad,

and you never even asked me
about that.

Do you know who helped me
through that?

Douglas.

Do you have any idea
how hard-up you have to be

to lean on Douglas?

Angie, I'm sorry, okay?

I wish I had been there
for that,

and I really wish
I hadn't hit you with my car.

But I'm here now.

And -- And that's what tonight
was supposed to be about.

You can't just snap
your fingers and expect us

to go back
to right where we were.

I'm gonna get some air.

Angie...

Colin called you
"fetching."

Of course he did.

I'm fetching as hell.

Hey, Will,
is this a bad time?

Kinda.
Do you really need me?

Eh. We're good.

**

[ Sighs ]
Colin: Angie?

Are you, uh...

headed to your car?

Oh, no.

Am I giving you a segue

to talk about the gas station?

I don't think I
can handle that right now.

[ Chuckles ]

No.

I'm too tired

to be weird around you
right now.

[ Sighs ]

Is there...any world

where there's alcohol
in that?

That depends.

Would that be something

that you
would judge me for?

You clearly
don't know me at all.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh.

Wow. Ooh.

[ Coughs ]

It's straight vodka.

Yeah, I used one
of those plungers

that you get in a box
of children's medicine.

I use a funnel.

I'm sorry that I've...

acted so strangely.

I, uh...I'm
on serious medication

for a self-inflicted
digestive issue.

And also...

you make me nervous.

[ Chuckles ]

Well, if it's
any consolation,

I'm new to being single.

I'm [Sighs] not really
that good at this, either.

You're okay.
[ Chuckles ]

You know, Will said some really
interesting things about you.

Well, don't believe him.
He's lying.

He's trying to destroy me.
[ Chuckles ] No.

He said that
you're incredibly kind,

and that you're raising
a wonderful kid.

Despite the fact
that you've been

to two
Good Charlotte concerts.

And that no matter what,
you're always there for him.

He would know.

He's my best friend.

He's, like, you know,

the kind of guy
you want to hang out with

at a gas station.

And we're back.

I almost made it.
Yeah.

So close.
[ Exhales sharply ]

I'm gonna go back in.

I think Will needs
my help.

Thank you.

Strong.

Do you really think
I'm fetching?

Yes.

**

[ Fire extinguisher hissing ]

[ Kids cheering ]

I don't know why
you guys are cheering.

It's pretty obvious this dinner
isn't going to happen.

And someone
needs to take Miggy home.

We're taking care of it.
Eat the soup!

Alright, let's go tell
these parents to go home.

Angie:
No one's going anywhere!

Will and Angie are back!

It's dinnertime, bitches!

Not you.
Let's go!

No, "Chez Second Grade."

That's a fraudulent charge.
But --

[ Door opens ]
No, my credit card
wasn't stolen.

I just don't think that I should
have to pay for it.
[ Door closes ]

[ Cellphone beeps ]

[ Chair scrapes ]

Listen,
I-I-I'm obviously sorry

for how I behaved earlier.

I'm -- I'm embarrassed.

Look, Douglas,
you know I love you,

and me not getting jealous
is proof of that.

It means I trust you.

You're right.

It's just Graham,
you know?

He got me
all turned around.

I just wanted to have
a nice conversation,

but he wouldn't let it go.

Eh, but to be honest,
he's Italian, you know?

They're not over the war.

So, to be clear,
you're gonna blame

your behavior tonight
on Graham?

Most of it. Yes.

And maybe it was me
a little, too.
Uh-huh.

Poppy, look, I am --

I'm just not used
to dating a woman like you,

so put together, so steady,
so age-appropriate.

Let's not get it
twisted.

I'm still way too young
for you.

And, look, I'm sorry.

I'm never gonna be
that...crazy woman

you may have wanted
in the past.

But there's still other ways
we can keep it hot.

Ooh.

Mm.

I think I'll go run a bath.

And I also ordered
some spicy Thai food.

Thank you. Because you know
I ate nothing at that dinner.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Ah.

I'm looking for Chipmunk.

It's a mole thing.
Oh.

Okay.
Let me just get him.

You know what?
Actually, no.

I'm not buying
this mole thing.

But you're very fair,
so I hope you use sunscreen.

[ Chuckles ]
I use Crisco.

Look, I don't want to
bloody my knuckles,

so you've got five seconds
to get out of my sight,

'cause it's Valentine's Day

and I'm gonna eat
Thai food with my man.

Then we might take a bath,
but probably a shower

because we've tried it and we
both can't fit in the tub.

Wow.

Was that the food?
Uh, yeah.

Yeah, they forgot
the chopsticks,

so I sent them back.

Of course you did.

**

Thanks for coming back.

I-I think you were right.

I can't just
snap my fingers

and get us back
to where we were.

Hey. Look at this dinner
we put together.

I think we already have.

Colin: Hey, Angie.

You ready?

Sorry, Will, I would help
with the cleanup,

but, um...

Oh, God.

I should've had an excuse
ready to go.

Are you cool
if I head out?

'Course. Yeah.

Enjoy your evening

with Hilltop's second-hottest
single dad.

Who's the first?
Hmm.

Solid burn.
[ Chuckles ]

Happy Valentine's Day, Ang.

You too.

**

Hey.

**

Nightcap, chief?

Yeah, it's been a long night.
I could use one.

Well, the bar's closed.

[ Door opens ]

Oh, my God.

Danny.
Is Angie here?

I got something important
I want to say to her.

Aw, bud.

She left with someone else.

[ Exhales sharply ]

I'm too late.

**

That poor, beautiful boy.

Oh, hey, Graham.

Hey, Poppy.
How was your Valentine's Day?

Really nice.
And yours?

Rory took most of my tips,

but I still had enough
for these.

New laces.

[ School bell rings ]

Well, they're playing
my song.

Gotta go.

One more thing.

I know you're trying
to break me and Douglas up,

but it's not gonna work.

But I-I was just --

Shh, shh!

Run along now.

Like a son to me.

**

Mm.

**