All language subtitles for Sea.To.Shining.Sea.2019.720p.WEBRip.800MB.x264-GalaxyRG

Hey,
Boerleider, can you hear me?

Yes man,
yeah, yeah, yeah, what's up?

So, did you
already book your ticket

to New York?

Uh,
not yet, no, no, no.

Good, how many
weeks can you get off work?

Maximum 21 days, why?

Cool, look,
so don't fly into JFK,

fly into San Francisco instead.

San Francisco,
isn't that far away, man?

Yeah,
yeah, I got a surprise.

You remember my mom, right?

Your mama, yeah,
we're friends on Facebook.

Yeah well, I just
got off the phone with her

and she's gonna give me her car.

She's
giving you her car?

Yeah, but we're
gonna have to drive it

all the way to New York.

What kinda car?

It doesn't matter
what kinda car.

The point is that you're
gonna get to see America

like you've been moaning
about your whole goddamn life.

Man, this is,
but, can we make it in time?

I have to get back
to Amsterdam by...

Yeah
yeah, don't worry.

My mom's got, she's
got like a sports car.

We're gonna go fast.

Wow, man.

So, just
get your ticket for SFO.

That's the airport
code for San Francisco.

Hey,
but wait a minute.

You're gonna pick me
up in San Francisco?

Yeah, there's a slight
chance that I'm not gonna

be there yet but in that case,
my mom's gonna pick you up.

Oh not again.

You know what happened to
me last time I tried to fly

to California, man.

That was like
a hundred years ago.

We're grownups now, don't worry,

somebody's gonna be
there to pick you up.

But, uh...

Oh, and bring your
skateboard stuff.

We're definitely gonna
hit up some skate parks.

But, I haven't
skated for years, man.

It doesn't
matter, just bring your stuff

and hit me up once
you've booked.

Okay, man,
listen so, I'm gonna write

your mother on Facebook.

Yeah, you do that.

Subtitles by sub.Trader
Corrected by explosiveskull

Boerleider...
Boerleider.

Over here.

He'll be back in two days tops.

I Skyped with him
a couple days ago.

So,
he's still alive?

Uh, Yeah.

So, you talked
to him and you could only see

his head or with his
lower body as well?

I think you're
confusing Iran with Syria.

Oh yeah, oh.

Do you like mushrooms?

Mushrooms?

Yeah, they grow up in
the woods right up the street.

They're porcini.

If you want to I could
take you up there.

Uh, okay.

Hey Judy, but what is that
sign about mountain lions?

It's that, they're
really attacking people?

Oh man.

So, Judy I'm just trying
to be polite, you know,

but actually I don't
like mushrooms.

A year ago my girlfriend,
former girlfriend,

you know, she founded
mushrooms in the woods.

And, we were supposed
to go to Ibiza,

so you know we eat
the whole thing

and our mind got
blown up so the moment

we got our minds back
we came to the airport

and the guy said,

"What are you doing here?

"Your plane left 10 days ago."

So, you know, what's, what's...

Ah, oh man.

When we get home
we need to wash everything.

But,
what about the drought?

Oh, don't
worry about that.

You do not want to start a road
trip with a poison oak rash.

Okay.

Boerleider.

Boerleider.

Yeah.

Boerleider.

I'm back.

Wake up, come on, let's go.

We got a lot of
driving ahead of us.

You sure this thing's
gonna make it?

Yeah, should
be in good shape.

All right,
thanks for the car, Mama.

I really appreciate it.

And uh...

Be careful.

We'll Skype.

Okay, great.

All right, take care.

All right.

So Moni, man,

when you contact
me in Amsterdam,

you would talk about
a sports car, man.

But, this is definitely
not a sports car.

Yeah, it's
a hippie sports car.

When does the fog go away?

Yay!

Power to the people!

But, you know, you really
get me worried, man,

that when I came here,
you weren't there.

And, then Mom said
you were in Iran.

I thought, man what is he up to?

Is it CIA business, or what?

No, I was there for
the film festival.

They have
film festival there?

I thought everything
was banned there.

That's
all hype. It was good.

So,
there's no secret police.

No Allatoya there or...

Ayatollah.

Oh, Ayatollah.

I'm telling you, it's not
like what you think at all.

People there are
super, super cool.

Like really, really nice.

But, now you really
sound like you're

part of the
government there, man.

No, I mean, all
governments I don't like.

I don't like any government.

I don't like any countries.

But, the people are cool.

And, when they found out
you were from New York,

they're like, "Ah,
New York, they..."

But
man, what's that thing

that you don't like countries,
what's that all about?

'Cause countries
are made up by men.

You know like it's
something that's invented.

Yeah, but that's normal, man.

If you watch a nature
movie and you see

a whole bunch of lions,
they're busy with borderlines.

There's not a lion in the
world that knows a border.

That is the stupidest...

There's no animal that knows
'oh, across this line'.

Man, you never seen
any documentaries

about animals that the
lion is peeing there

so this is mine and
then he's peeing there

and then when the other lions
come into his territory,

he can't come in because
he smells the other pee

and then the lions know,
oh this is the borderline

of another lion.

And, then you say you
don't believe in borders

because borders, everybody
has borders, man.

You have a border.

So, I need to
respect the piss?

You gotta respect
the border, man.

But you know it's
same thing with UFOs.

You don't even believe in
UFOs and I believe in those.

I don't
disbelieve in 'em.

I just don't know
one way or the other.

I mean, there's no proof.

Yeah but,
there is no proof they exist

and there's no proof
they don't exist.

Well, then we agree.

Do you
have any sunscreen?

My nose seems like
it's all messed up.

You're
asking me for sunscreen?

So, a-and...

Come on, let's go.

That's that, man.

You can't pee in the wind
though 'cause it will blow

back on you.

Like you gotta pee on
that side of the road.

So now
we're on our way to...

Los Angeles.

Los Angeles, man.

But, we're gonna
stop in San Luis Obispo

and go skateboarding.

Man,
you know how long

I haven't been on a skateboard?

How many years?

Maybe 15, 20.

Oww.

Okay, that's good.

Let's start this vacation
with a trip to the hospital.

Oh man,
you call that an invert?

You need
me to help you get out?

I quit, I'm too old.

Okay.

Hey, do you think you
can drive for a little bit?

- I
- don't have a license.

You told me you could drive.

Yeah, I
can drive when I'm drunk.

But, that was a
joke, wasn't it?

Yeah, but
that doesn't necessarily mean

that I can drive, so...

Oh man.

Look what I got.

They gave me a T-shirt.

Can you put your stuff
in the car at least?

Jesus Christ.

Where
we gonna stay tonight?

On the
right side of your seat,

there's like a little lever.

If you pull it, the
chair will go back.

Oh
man, come on, man,

you gotta be kidding, man.

I'm tired as hell.

Then
you should be able

to sleep no problem.

Hey
man, this is it,

this is why I came here, man.

This is the center
of the universe, man.

Here?

Man, this is, don't you feel
the vibe here, the energy?

Yeah, it's also
where the rich people

take their animals to shit.

Yeah, but, you know,
but no, no, no, look.

Rich animals are not the
same as poor animals.

The same as rich people don't
stink and poor people stink.

That's the difference.

So, a rich dog even, you know,
a rich dog is really nice.

I hate dogs but a rich
dog is so different.

So, you'd be cool
with a rich dog?

Yeah, it's fine.

Okay.

You know, but this is
what America is all about.

This is the dream every other
country in the world wants.

The American Dream.

Yep.

You should be proud
of your country, man.

No you shouldn't.

Nobody should be proud
of just the accident

of where they were born.

Doesn't matter.

You think it's an...

For you it's an
accident being American?

Oh man, if I would have
your passport, man,

I would be on top of
the world already.

Yeah, but, that's
what makes it unfair.

Why should one person
have a passport

that's more valuable
than another person?

So, actually so
you wanna get rid

of your American passport?

I wanna get rid
of all passports.

It's just a stupid thing.

Why do you have to
go through the line

and get them to stamp it.

- It's a waste of time.
- No, no, no, look, look,

but listen, you
need countries...

There are countries...

Oh my God, what's that?

Oh my God, oh, oh my God.

It's a rich dog.

Go, go.

Go over there.

Oh no, he's ruining my pants.

No, sit down

- it's all right.
- No, no, man.

It's a rich dog,
sit back down.

It's cute.

I thought you said
you liked rich dogs?

Okay, go, go

Come
on, sorry guys.

No, it's okay, man.

Heidi.

Oh, no look, I said
I like rich dogs,

in the pan,

fried with some nice
vegetables around

because the meat of a rich dog
is well-feed.

I've been in Cambodia.

I've ate a dog there but
the dog doesn't taste

as good as the dogs here

because I see the
asses here of the dogs,

I said, 'Man your boss,
your boss is feeding you

real nice doggy.'

Yeah.

But, the thing, if I
have the vegetables,

the dogs, I need the
Chinese to make it.

So, that's why you need
other countries to,

you know, as a unity.

That's why America-

America brings a lot of
work for the whole world.

- Oh man.
- I mean, Apple is being made

in China, and Nikes is
being made in China.

Yeah, and the
people that make those

jump out of the building
and try to kill themselves.

That's because they
can't afford a Nike

because they were born

in a poor, shitty country,

and they can't
afford a plane ticket

and they can never wear Nikes.

And, they can't
even go to Old Navy.

That's poor,

that's really poor, man.

Are the rich
people also on the drought?

Uh yeah,
everybody has to follow

the same rules.

But, I guarantee you
there's some rich people

that have a way
to get around it.

I mean, look at these lawns,
they're all watered and stuff,

so they must be
cheating somehow.

There's a place down
here called Skid Row

and it's wild.

It's, you never seen so many
homeless people in your life.

Is it the club?

No, no,
it's not a club.

It's just a street.

So this is
like a whole area of...

Oh my God.

Yeah, this is
people living on the street.

Oh my God,
man, seeing this, oh my.

How do you feed
your stomach, man?

I don't
know, it fucking sucks.

- Here come the police.
- But, how come it's,

but how come...

Yeah,
this is what happens

and then they harass 'em.

Yeah, but how come
there are so many

Afro-Americans here
in this neighborhood?

It's uh...

Oh because, look
the police just took

all of his packets
of cigarettes.

Yeah, 'cause
he don't got the complexion

for the protection.

Oh, oh, take a look at
their feet, man, oh my God.

These, we don't even have
this the Netherlands, man.

I know but
this is true America.

Oh, so
this is a whole block of

what is it?

Skid Row.

This is like where...

This is the other
side of the coin.

The ones that didn't make the
cut to the American Dream.

Nope,
they made the cut

to the American Nightmare.

Uh, Moni.

Yeah.

Since you
have so many poor people here

and all that, are things
around here also cheaper?

No,
everything's the same price.

Oh shit, wake up, wake up.

Boerleider, check it out.

Look.

Hey, hey, wait a minute.

I told you, man.

It's alien shop.

There are aliens out here, man.

Oh.

Those who don't believe
will believe one day

and then it's too late.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, man.

This is...

This tastes so delicious.

You know that I always wanted
to have some human meat, yeah?

Yeah.

Some, some
hamstring, well done?

This is alien meat and
it tastes delicious, man.

Mmm, yeah.

You're so disgusting.

You wanna try some?

I'm a vegetarian.

I'm not gonna eat

- alien beef jerky.
- Here, here, wait, wait,

read it.

Also good for vegetarians.

Alien meat is not
considered normal meat.

Try it.

- It didn't say that at all.
- Try a little.

You can't read alien language?

Oh, man.

Where did they
capture the aliens?

They capture
'em when it snows.

Do you wanna see
it snow out here?

Oh man.

Let's get out of here.

You know one of these days,

I'm gonna start with
your meat, your bicep.

Oh man.

Uh, are you sure this is
the way to Vegas, man?

Yeah,
it's the way to Vegas.

It's like right down the road.

It's got a little ways.

Man, this
looks like a typical

military plant or something
with Area 51, man.

This is, there's nobody
out here but the two of us

and I don't like this, Moni.

Yeah, this is
called, this is the desert.

We're gonna be
driving through stuff

like this for days.

But,
what is this, what are

all these things
here, beside us, man?

What
are those things?

I don't think I've
ever seen that before.

You know,
I've seen things like this

on that TV series.

What's that kind again
with Scully and Muldar?

I told you not to drive
away from the highway, man.

We're gonna be front
page news everywhere.

What is it though?

What the hell is it?

You
see all those lights

beaming up to that center thing?

Yes.

So, that's
a communication things

with the UFO people.

Don't
look into the light.

Look
what it says, man,

no passing zone, man oh man.

I just wanna get
my ass to Vegas.

What would
be your ideal thing

to happen in Vegas?

Get married
in some kinda chapel there.

All right, we'll try

- to get you married.
- Let's get married in Vegas

and get divorced in New York.

Oh, ain't this looking great?

No, no, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

Do not, in America, you
gotta peel these things off.

The top layer has an enormous
amount of sperm on it.

Oh man, Jesus.

They use
the blacklight on TV

and showed the sperm
count on these top things

is, it's disgusting so just...

So, I gotta wear
gloves to pull it off?

No, no, no,
you just pull it off,

you can wash your
hands, whatever.

But, just you never lay on it.

- You gotta like lay down like this.
- Jesus Christ, man.

It's, yeah, it's dangerous.

All right, so I
can lay down now?

Yeah, yeah the bottom
part's completely clean.

They wash that.

- Okay, man.
- I think.

Oh man, this is so nice.

This is a pretty good hotel.

So, what's up for tonight?

You know, I
don't know if I can go out.

I'm so fucking tired.

Will you be super bummed out
if I just stay in and sleep?

Yeah, but, Moni, man,
this is Vegas, man.

Nobody sleeps here.

I know
but, if I don't sleep,

I don't know if I
can drive tomorrow

and we gotta leave
pretty damn early, so.

Hello.

Hi.

Can I, let me look
on the menu there.

Las Vegas.

Hello, hi.

Hello, hi.

Okay, man.

her right in the pussy.

All right, man, where, where,
where, where is the pussy?

Oh there's pussy all
around you, brother.

Go get that shit.

Yeah, but where?

I don't smell it.

You don't gotta smell it.

It don't gotta smell like
tuna for you to get...

Oh, all right,
man, all right, man.

You know how that shit goes.

Yeah, all right, man, thank
you, thank you, thank you.

Cheers, cheers, cheers, man.

Hello.

How you doing?

Do people actually
get married here?

Yeah, man.

Yeah?

Yeah man, for real.

'Cause I'm waiting
for my bride, man.

This is a real power plant.

They
get the power from the dam?

Yeah.

I think
this is how all

the disaster movies start.

Tourist bus full of happy
families fascinated,

taking pictures, and then
next thing you know...

earthquake.

Jesus,
that's what I call...

That's what I call
American craftsmanship.

Did man really build
this or aliens?

Looks like
two titties right there.

Hey, are we
allowed to step out here?

Uh yeah but
then I can't keep driving

if you step out.

I think we're on
the dam right now.

Yeah.

Look at these guys.

If you can
let me out over here maybe.

Jump out real quick
and walk to the other side.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ah
we're gonna get...

Yeah, okay, okay.

Ah shit.

Yeah.

Yeah, you
got out of the car.

And, then
when I was walking up to you,

I saw that the police
car was behind you.

I said, oh my God.

Yeah, and
that's when he told me,

"Tell your friend we have guns."

I was like...

"You
stay in the car."

"You, you stay in the
car, I might shoot you."

Uh, uh, officer,
I want that photo.

"You know what kinda
photo you're gonna take?"

No, officer.

"You're gonna take a
photo when you're laying

"in your coffin."

But, I don't wanna...

Boom, boom, boom, boom.

And, then they say
in the newspaper,

"Dark tourist man got
shot while taking out

"his photo camera."

You should get a T-shirt,

dark tourist man.

Got killed
at Hoover Dam, damn.

♪ America, America ♪

♪ God's greatness
shine on thee ♪

♪ American, America ♪

♪ I took my gun and
I shot his knee ♪

I'm
gonna stand here.

I'm a little bit
afraid of heights.

Jesus, whoa.

Pretty crazy.

Shh.

I'm gonna act like
it's real normal

and not that high, yeah?

Yeah.

I had no idea America

was this beautiful, man.

This is, this is
almost that we could be

on another planet, man.

Yeah.

Have
you been here before?

No,
not in this part.

I was down there where
you can just go for free

'cause I was a cheapskate
and I just looked at,

you know, it was much less
spectacular than this.

You know if you see this,

you wanna, it makes you quiet,
you know, be like goddamn.

Let's go and
check this one out down here.

Okay, man.

Whoa.

Jesus.

Glad you got to see that.

So, this is
where the Indians used to live.

No,
they still do, look.

There are certain
pockets in America

where there's still
quite a few Indians.

But, it's nothing compared
to how many people

that were here.

Species
come and species go.

It's not a species.

Indian's not a species,
it's a human being.

Yeah but,
you know, human beings

don't always see other human
beings as human beings.

Yeah, and
those human beings

are not humane beings.

No, five million
years ago, yeah,

this was supposed
to be ocean floor.

So, it's like we're driving
on the bottom of the ocean.

What
happened to the water, then?

It's like
lotion on my skin.

- Got sucked up.
- Yeah.

Bet there were a lot of
swimming dinosaurs around here.

The best name they ever
made for a dinosaur

is Tyrannosaurus rex.

You like that more
than you like brontosaurus

or a stegosaurus?

Yeah man, Tyrannosaurus.

Who made that name, man,
that's so fantastic.

Because of those people that
were conquering the world,

we can go everywhere around
the world and talk in English,

so that's really a benefit.

You got three world languages.

It's English, Spanish,
and Portuguese so,

if those conquerors weren't
doing such great jobs...

Hey watch out, watch
out, watch out, man.

You're going uh...

Look, for instance, if Dutch
would be a world language.

Oh man, there
would be no more sex.

Things
doesn't even sound nice

- in the Dutch.
- I know that's what

I'm saying.

How do you say, "Hey baby,
why don't you come over here

and sit next to me for a second?

I wanna talk to you."

Oh, in Dutch?

Yeah,
say it in Dutch.

Oh my
God, that's awful.

Just
say it in Dutch.

I wanna hear how
it sounds in Dutch.

See?

What are you fucking
laughing at me?

- Instantly, instantly, she...
- Pull over the car, man,

pull over the car now man.

I'm gonna beat shit out of you.

No, instantly
she dries up and says,

"No, it's not going down."

So,
you think that English

is a more sexual language?

You know,
French, English.

Oh
French, hey man.

But,
not German or Dutch.

I'm looking
for a French girl, man,

to make love with again, once.

Yeah, did you
ever do it with a French one?

Uh, not
without paying for it.

It looks
pretty good out here.

It looks
pretty good from here too.

New Mexico, Colorado,
New Mexico, Arizona,

Utah, Colorado, New
Mexico, New Mexico,

Arizona, Utah,
Colorado, New Mexico.

Come on.

Okay, man.

Shit.

Man, you never believe
what's happened to me

like, over there man.

You won't believe it, man.

It's crazy,
absolutely crazy, man.

Okay listen.

I went in there to brush
my teeth, you know.

And, while I was brushing,

suddenly I hear a.

I said, 'Hey, did I
go into the wrong one?

Am I at the ladies
or something?"

So, I open up, you know,
there was this little guy

maybe five or six years old.

He just came walking in while
I was brushing my teeth.

I said, and he
pulled down his pants

and he went on the toilet
and he took a shit, man.

He just took a shit.

Why?

I was so scared.

I thought and you
know I said to myself,

hey I'm just gonna
keep on brushing.

Did
he see you there?

No, no, listen man.

I opened the door.

Yeah?

And, he looked
at me like this.

And, he just walked in.

He lowered his pants,
jumped on the toilet,

and then I said, hey look man,
I'm brushing my teeth here.

I was in first.

So, I kept on brushing.

- Did you tell him that?
- And, then suddenly I hear,

Suddenly I hear
plop, plop, plop.

So, I stopped because
the toilet was starting

to get kinda smelly, you know.

So, I stopped, I said, oh man,
listen, I gotta keep cool.

So, I went outside and I
waited and the little man left.

I went back into the
toilet, brushed my teeth

and I get out,
because, you know,

I got really scared
because I thought maybe

the guy's gonna say
to his mom or dad,

"Hey Mama, there
was this black guy

"and I was lowering my pants
and he was looking at me."

"Where is he, I'm
gonna, where's the guy,

"where's the guy
man, he's mine?"

The real question
is what were you doing

brushing your teeth
at a rest stop?

That's so disgusting.

Dude man, look.

Where we go now then?

We're
going to meet my dad

and then we're gonna go...

Well, I think he's gonna meet
us over by the skate park.

Okay
man, finally man so.

You know, we'll
stay with him and tomorrow

I think he's gonna take us
horseback riding or something.

He knows some rich lady
that's got horses and uh...

Rich ladies.

Yes, she's old,
don't worry about it.

Anyway, I think we're
gonna go horseback riding.

Hey, hey, l-listen,

a rich lady is never too old.

There's one thing
you gotta know, man.

I have to teach you
so many things, man.

A rich lady's never too old,

because one, she can take
care of your pension.

Number two, if I take
a good vee-agara,

I can still give her
the.

And, number three, you
won't have to brush your teeth

in a rest stop bathroom
with little boys

taking shits next to you.

Exactly,
exactly, my friend.

I had no idea that little boys
could smell like that, man.

I don't know.

It's not the kinda
thing you wanna hear.

No, no, no, of course.

It just, it doesn't matter.

We'll be fine.

It's really, seriously,
it's more important

if I just get a chance
to come and see you.

I mean, that's the thing that
matters to me most right now.

No, it's okay, really.

All right, I'll
talk to you soon.

All right.

No, I was saying my dad had
to go and get a checkup.

Yeah.

And... they checked
the thing in the throat

and it's not looking good.

It's, they gave, I mean,
they said at first, you know,

there's two different
things that it could be.

And, one is not bad and
one is probably pretty bad.

And, it turned out
to be the bad one.

You know, I mean,
basically, they told him

you gotta go back home
and start to think

and do some soul
searching and think

about what you really wanna do.

So, I think they're
giving him options,

but none of it looks
good and he's just...

I guess what it is is that we
can't really stay with him,

but what he really wants is
me to just go and visit him.

You didn't
say anything to me.

Well, I told you
he might be sick,

but I didn't know
it was this bad.

Totally, do everything
you need to do

and if you wanna stay here
more days, whatever, man.

I've seen so many things till
so far from this USA, so...

Yeah, yeah, no, look the
thing is, I'm gonna tell him

that I'm gonna come back.

Like right when this trip is
done, I'm gonna come back.

I mean, you have to
fly back from New York,

he has to do more tests.

He's you know, he's stressed
out, but I'm gonna let him know

that I'm coming
back to visit him

and I'll come and see
him when, you know,

when, like right when you
leave, I'll come back out here

and hang out with him.

But, you know, to for
you hearing this news

and then in what sort of
way you wanna continue

this trip, man?

It's gonna be flipping
your mind, man.

My phone keeps buzzing.

It's probably my sister.

But, yeah, you know
what's crazy is that

she had a hard relationship
with him some of the time

and she's even more emotional
about this than I am.

Geez, man.

Thanks.

Moni.

It's all right.

Well, are you gonna
be all right to hang out

at a hotel tonight?

I'll just, I won't you know,
I'll be back eventually, but...

Man, if, can I put all the
Budweisers on your account?

Yeah, you can
have as many Budweisers

as you need.

Okay, man.

How are you?

Hi.

Thank you I'm doing fine, yes.

Can I grab
you something to drink?

Uh yeah, can I have
water without ice, please?

Sure.

And a, well let's see.

What's a French roll?

Oh it's
like a long hoagie.

It's like this white
bread, sour dough

cooked, backed on top.

It's pretty good.

Okay, I take the
Diner Philly then.

Sure.

Here you are.

Okay, thanks.

And, now
I'll bring it right out.

All right.

Excuse me.

Hi, you got some mayonnaise?

Mayonnaise?

Mayonnaise.

- Yeah, I'll be right back.
- Yeah, okay.

Thank you.

Uh, I mean it was
a little bit crazy

'cause at first he wasn't
talking about anything

and I didn't know how to
really start the conversation.

And, he sat us down and then
he told us that, you know,

he went to the doctors in
Denver versus, you know,

like to make sure that everything
was what they had told him

up in the mountains was
exactly the way it was.

And, he said that the
doctors in Denver,

they told him that
they don't think,

they don't think it's as
bad as what the doctors

in the mountains said.

Yeah, but
how will they know for sure

without any research?

Well, that's
what they're doing

the surgery on Tuesday for.

But, the doctors in
the mountains they said

he had four to six
months to live.

And, the doctors in Denver said

that they don't
think that's right.

They think it might
actually be something

that he can beat.

I mean it completely changed
his mood and everything.

I mean you should have
seen the look on his face.

He's like he feels like he
has a new lease on life.

It's pretty crazy.

I couldn't really believe it.

Hey, Boerleider...

Are you asleep??

Oh, man.

Jesus Christ.

Man, sorry, man, I always
fall asleep in your car, man.

Oh, shit, but...

I can't believe it.

Were you
still telling the story?

So, what happened
with your dad then?

Did you feel that?

Did you feel the car?

Every time you put that on,
it's fucking the car up.

It's so hot outside that
when you put on the AC

it messes with the
electronics in the car.

Yeah okay, man,
but uh, why do you have AC

in the car if you can't
use it when it's hot?

Well, you'll
find out soon enough

when we're sitting on our
asses on the side of the road.

All right, I warned you.

Yeah well, I had the AC on
maybe a little bit longer

than I should have as we were
driving across the state.

And, it's a 2000 Legacy
and it's my mother's car

and she had just recently
given it to me, but...

Okay, okay, man,
that's fine, that's fine.

Man, I feel so sad
he's dead, man.

He could have been
huge, man, so big, man.

I think he died
because he was huge.

Oh man, why do you
say those things, man?

Okay man, let's go man.

The cool
thing about the Arcade

is it stays open really late.

Hey, but what
was that lady saying, man?

I couldn't understand
it anymore.

Well, yeah,
she was I mean, basically

what she was saying was
that she's been there

27, 28 years protesting.

Wow, man.

Hi, can we sit
for, I'll explain in a second.

Can we sit at the booth,

at the Elvis Booth
down in the back?

Yeah.

All right, cool.

No, but the point is,
here's a person who stood

for helping out poor people.

She's the last person that
ever lived in that place

and they kicked her out
and she's just saying

if you look at the legacy of
what this guy was all about,

he didn't, even he wrote
it down, if after I'm gone,

don't make big monuments to
him and trying to turn it

into Disneyland, especially
the place where he was shot.

I mean, that's just,
it's sort of disgraceful.

But, you have those memorial
places everywhere, I mean...

Yeah, I know, but you
have 'em in Amsterdam too.

I mean, look at the
Anne Frank place.

It's like they take
something that's a tragedy

and they turn it
into a spectacle.

That is a multi-million
dollar because...

Yeah, it's a
money-making machine.

And, it's like her whole point
is he was for poor people

and now they're just
kicking poor people

out of this neighborhood.

The thing is what
does it have to do

with why she is
standing outside?

It's about making sure
the voice stays alive, and...

Yeah, but okay,
but you said it stayed alive

only with a little quote now.

- It's one quote...
- Yeah well, I mean

she's out there, she's
out there every day.

People see her and they're
like what's that all about.

If she wasn't there, then the
voice would be dead for sure,

so I don't know it's
crazy, you know.

You gotta commend her.

Hey guys, can
I go ahead and get y'all

something to drink tonight?

Yeah, what do you want?

A milkshake.

Milkshake, what kind?

We have chocolate,
strawberry, and vanilla.

- Chocolate.
- Chocolate?

Can I get a tea?

I want a sweet tea but
I don't want sugar.

Can I get like with
honey or something?

An
un-sweet tea with honey?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, I'll
be right out for y'all, okay?

All right, thank you.

But man, listen, for
Martin Luther King.

Yes.

There has to be a way
you can remember him.

Yeah, look, I don't,
she's like, it's not about

not having some
sort of memorial.

But, a real memorial would
be letting that place

be a place for poor
people to live.

Letting this area be a
place where they take care

of poor people because if you
just turn it into a museum

for rich people to
come and look and say,

ah it's so good, I'm
here to like pay respect,

then it just absolves them...

So, the money
that comes out of the museum,

where's that go then?

Goes into somebody's pocket.

All right, here's your drinks.
Un-sweet tea with honey.

- And, a chocolate milkshake.
- Ah yes, thank you, yeah.

- Yeah.
- So, enjoy, okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, Moni, I understand
your point of view,

but look now we're,
I could say to you,

why do you take such a big tea?

Why didn't you
take a smaller tea?

This is a small in America.

Oh, this is small in America?

Wow, man, then I'm,

then I'm getting a little
bit confused here then.

Yeah.

No, no, it's fine.

Yeah, he's doing
good, he's all right.

He's just tired all the time.

He's just sleeping in the car,
complaining about the heat.

Hey, yeah, Boerleider, I'm
talking to my mom on Skype.

You wanna say hi?

Just say hello for me.

Nah, yeah, he says hi.

All right, we'll get in
touch from the next place.

Yeah, love you lots.

Bye.

Yeah, just up the road is
where Steph's mom lives

and she's gonna take
us to her church

and you're gonna see
some real gospel sangin'.

Yeah man.

They
don't sing, they sang.

They sang.

Hey
look, is that a UFO?

Where?

Could be, man.

I don't even bother about
those things anymore, man.

You're
over the UFOs?

It's
always the other people

that's seeing them.

I never see shit.

Yeah.

It's the
Iranian cigarette.

But, why
does it has a French name?

is a Farsi name.

It's Persian.

It's just a lot of the
words sound French.

They even say merci when they
say thank you over there.

You know...

But,
you wanna know what

means?

Do you remember?

Do you remember when I
told you what this meant?

Sounds like small
mustache to me.

Small mustache?

- Close.
- Small mustache.

It means mouse penis.

You don't
even have a soul, man.

I know, I
don't believe in it.

Because
you're a vegetarian,

you don't have a soul.

Because I'm a
vegetarian, I don't have a soul?

Yeah.

I'm a heathen
because I don't eat meat.

Yeah, exactly, man.

You think
if Jesus got rich,

he'd just turn into an
asshole like everybody else?

Get greedy?

If Jesus was
rich, he would turn into

David Copperfield, man.

Doing all kinds of weird tricks.

You want me to split the sea?

Here, I'll do it, man.

For the first
time or maybe back home,

other churches may
call you visitors,

but here at John Wesley we
embrace you as extended family.

So, if we have any
of you today...

will you please
stand at this time.

♪...in
meat. They said, "What?" ♪

♪ He said, "I'm
running!...I'm Running..." ♪

♪ "I'm Running... I'm
RUNNNNNING!!! ♪

♪ "From the Lord." ♪

♪ "God tried to send me - huh" ♪

♪ "Down the river - huh" ♪

- ♪ "I said, 'No way!
- huh'" ♪

♪ "No how!" ♪

♪ Jonah was in the
belly of the fish, ♪

♪ Riding around the sea, ♪

♪ Three days, ♪

♪ Three nights, ♪

♪ In blubber - huh. ♪

♪ Three days, ♪

♪ Three nights, ♪

♪ Among all the smelly stuff. ♪

♪ He said, "Lord - huh!" ♪

♪ "Laaaaawd," ♪

♪ "have mercy." ♪

♪ God don't care whether ♪
you're happy or not

♪ God don't care
whether you think He's ♪

♪ Doing the right thing ♪

♪ What God sayeth ♪

♪ I'll go where you
want me to go - huh ♪

♪ I'll do - huh ♪

♪ What you want me to do - huh ♪

♪ I say what you want
me to say - huh ♪

♪ I'llllll go! ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

Amen!

Amen!

Amen.

I've been to churches
in the Netherlands,

but you know that's really
strict, little bit stiff

you know, but this one, the
Baptized, it's Baptized, huh?

No, I think they're
Methodists actually.

Oh Methodists.

It's like I don't know,
it's the same thing to me,

I don't know.

I can understand
that this community,

this church community
really gives you power

like once a week to
find the strength

to come out of your miserable
situation, you know.

Yeah, yeah, well
it sustains you.

You know, it's like whether
you're religious or not,

you gotta sorta respect the fact

that this is an
organization that gives

people some strength.

Well, I have been to the
church when I was young.

Yeah, but you
never go anymore, you know.

But, at least you were
being respectful in there

and it was good.

And, you saw the
power of it too.

Yeah, oh man, yeah.

But, you know, the
thing is when I stopped,

I stopped going to
church because it was

every Sunday morning at 10:30.

Yeah.

And, it was just the time I
got home from house parties.

Yeah.

And, we always had a
after, after, after, after

house party somewhere

that started at
8:00 in the morning.

So, that interrupted
with your church going?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, Gap Outlet.

Can we check it out
real, real quick?

You know when I got to
this country first time,

you know which store
I really loved?

What?

Old Navy, man.

Yeah, I know, all you
Americans shit on that brand,

but you know the thing is
why all the other people

wanna become like
trillionaires or billionaires

is because they wanna dress
in Gucci, Prada, Armani,

and you name all
these fucking shit.

If those people weren't
afraid to wear the other type

of clothes, the
Old Navy clothes,

then there would be no war.

So,
basically what you're saying is

all the super elite around
the world, the world leaders,

the industrialists, if they
would just all be willing

to wear Old Navy and
have like a normal wage

like everybody else, then
there'd be no more fighting.

And, look, I wanted to
be rich so many years ago.

Yeah.

But, now I'm
satisfied with Old Navy.

And, now
you're a peaceful guy.

I'm a peaceful guy, man.

Ah shut up, man, okay.

All right,
I gotta turn off the AC.

It's too much for
the alternator.

Yeah, and you know,
since we're pretty much

400 miles from New York, I
don't want any alternator

to be the terminator.

Hey, ah, today's Tuesday.

Yeah.

So, your dad's
being operated now.

Well, I don't know how
long the surgery lasts, but...

Jesus Christ.

But, he got really sick
and he had to spend the night

at the hospital so
that's pretty damn scary.

But, the doctors said
it was just nerves.

So, I don't know...

You know, I've got
a lot of phobias.

So, I'm afraid of elevators
and you can add in hospitals

with that, man.

You're
hospital-phobic, too?

Yeah.

Jesus.

So, if you're...

Actually, I'm a
multi-phobic person.

A multi-phobic,
yeah, that makes sense.

Noticed a few of them...

But you still think
I can get a girlfriend?

For
your sake I hope so.

Are you phobic of girlfriends,
are you girlfriend-phobic?

Um, I think I would
get, but do you think

I get a girlfriend
with even more phobias?

Well, you know, you
could have the phobia

of not having a girlfriend

and the phobia of
having a girlfriend.

You know what kind
of phobia I also have?

What kind?

I've got a typical
kinda phobia in the plane.

Oh,
airplane crash phobia.

You
fly a lot, huh?

Yeah,
and I'm afraid.

Okay, well
listen, did you've ever hear

anything what the guys
in the cockpit says?

No, what?

xklkxzlkx flight zxklzxk

thank you welcome aboard
this zxcraftlkczkxl

lzxccjz you fly xzkl from New
York JFK zxklzxkt dkl.

halfway klxlzwe'llbeeeeeee...

Where'd you learn...

Mama, what did
the Captain say?

Well, I don't know but I
think he said something

that we gonna fly?

Did you learn all
that working at the airport?

Yeah, you know, I fly
a lot and each time,

I don't hear anything they say.

And, when you understand
them, they say stupid things

like.

This is to let you know
the outside temperature

is really cold, it's really
cold.

Oh, did you hear that,
it's really cold outside

the plane flying at 12,000 feet.

So, we better stay inside.

Yeah, oh, can I get
a coffee please?

Oh man.

PING-PONG.

Ladies and gentlemen,

as a special announcement
ladies and gentlemen

if we all look to the right,
you don't see anything

or your left.

PING-PONG.

Moni, where are we going?

It's totally dark out here.

Ah, ghosts.

No, those are the
people we're staying with.

That's where we drove past
when we were coming up.

Yeah, along the river
and then you came through

that little bridge that's
the oldest and shortest

little bridge, little
funky urbana bridge.

That is totally
scary, that bridge.

I bought this
place as kind of like

a mid-life crisis
moment, you know,

repeating my parents'
mistake of buying

a fallen down farm house
in the middle of nowhere

on a dirt road and
that's what we got.

But, isn't it scary
to live in a house

so far away from everything?

It's only scary when Brett
goes away and I'm here alone.

Oh yeah?

Yeah, it's really terrifying.

But, how often do you
go and leave her here?

What's it?

My mom's been kind of in and
out of the hospital lately.

Oh.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, she's back in.

My sister can't go
so it looks like

we gotta go there tonight.

Tonight?

But, is it a
problem if we stay?

- No, no, no.
- I mean we can leave.

You guys gotta stay.

If we're not back
by the time you leave,

we'll just leave you a
key. It's no problem.

But, I feel really bad.

We haven't seen you in awhile.

Yeah, if you've gotta go out
just, you know, lock up and...

Well, We'll keep it
clean, we'll just we won't

make a mess or anything.

Eat whatever you want,
drink whatever you want.

Take a long hot shower.

Don't say that to him,

he'll drink everything
in the house.

Night Boerleider.

Night, Monihan.

What are
you doing here?

What's that?

It's not what
you think.

Oh my God.

Now what's?

Hey are you sure
it's down there?

Yeah, it's scary.

There's gotta be a light.

Where's the light dimmer?

You see it?

No, I
don't see shit, man.

Oh look, we're in New York.

No, no, no,
no, we're still in Jersey.

It's gonna be probably
another four hours of traffic

before we get to New York.

Oh man.

Why do they call it
Holland Tunnel anyway, man?

'Cause
it's like a Dutch oven.

It stinks inside there.

Jesus Christ.

Is that the most original
joke you can make

upon the people of
the Netherlands?

I'm telling you.

If you ask people in America
what they know about Holland

or Dutch, they're
gonna say Dutch oven.

No, they
gonna start with a stupid,

"I went into the
coffee shop once."

I can feel it.

Home sweet home.

This is where it
really starts to stink.

We're just sorta stuck in
some traffic right now.

Oh hey, take a look
at the police cameras.

Yeah,
they're everywhere.

Yeah?

It's a
police state now.

I mean, you might be being
filmed right now, ah shit.

Guy just pulled
right in front of me.

I just couldn't even...

Dumb tourists, get
the fuck out of here.

Hey, you really behave
like a New Yorker, man,

I like it, man.

I mean, they
just, getting in my way.

- Push on the horn.
- I may have California plates

but I'm from Brooklyn.

Shut up honky.

Man, man, man,
man, this is the town

for the shopaholic, man.

I see, the only thing I see
are stores, stores, store.

Yep.

Nay, say

Oh my God, that's correct.

Now say the whole sentence.

Yeah, wow, terrific.

You know what you said?

Yeah,
I'm not paying for...

I'm not gonna pay for that.

Oh wow!

There it is.

Freedom.

Oh God, we made it, man.

I can't believe it.

Fuck, there's
no parking places, though.

No parking place?

Ain't you happy we got here?

Yeah.

You
know how many times

I've been the
check engine light?

Yeah, it's
been on the whole time.

- Come on.
- Yeah it's been on

all the time, like three weeks.

Yeah, but we're
parked illegally, so let's go.

Oh man.

It's still in one shape, man.

Where's the keys.

Let me go open the door. Here.

Moni.

What?

I was kinda
negative about Subaru,

but you know it takes
you where you...

Man...

Take this one?

Are you good?

I'm
paying my respect, man.

Watch out, that
bird will take a shit on you.

Okay, man, listen.

You make a nice picture for me

with Manhattan at the backside.

Stylin', man.

Can I see it, can I see it?

So, why don't you
live in Staten Island?

What's out there?

Nothing.

Nothing?

Nothing at all.

No but, you had...

They call it
Shaolin, like in the movies,

like the Kung Fu movies.

They call it Shaolin.

Staten Island, it's also
where they murdered the guy

for selling the cigarettes.

Oh yeah?

Yeah, it
happened out there.

That's why we're not
getting off the boat.

We're staying on the boat
and going right back.

My
trip is almost over.

Are you bummed out?

Ah, that sucks, man, yeah.

Watch how Monihan goes.

Monihan's gonna try
to do the Neil Blender.

Yeah.

Look, yeah.

There you go, Neil.

How long have you
known Monihan for?

Monihan, well, I think...

Maybe...

20 years,

or longer maybe.

Yeah, yeah, you know it
happened when I was in Amsterdam

during a few contests, I think
maybe somewhere in Utrecht,

there was this little American
guy with a really big mouth,

you know, making
jokes with everybody

and telling shit to everybody.

My God, man.

And, then I started to go
against him with my jokes,

and then, I said, 'Hey,
this guy's got humor.

This guy got humor."

And, then we, yeah, we became
friends, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who came out on top
with the joke fighting?

I think Moni was
skating and I with jokes.

It always has been my dream
to travel and see America.

Okay.

And, also because when I was
skating, I tried really hard

to improve my skating
by visiting the U.S.

Okay.

My very first time was sort
of a nightmare, actually.

Oh, what happened?

Well, I planned a trip and
I was still on Vision Team.

Right.

My team manager during
that time was Marty Jimenez.

Jinx?

Yeah, Jinx.

Shut up.

Yeah.

And, he take good care of me.

Uh huh.

Yeah, Marty's a good guy.

Yeah, but you
know, I saved a lot of money

to go to California.

Okay.

And, he called me and he said,

"Well, you can't
stay at my place.

"I'm not gonna pick you up,

"because I'm getting
married in two days."

And, I said, man, I have no...

Marty said that?

I have no travel
insurance, I have no shit.

I'm...

I was at that wedding.

You know what, hold on.

- Hold on, wait.
- You were at the wedding, so,

He did get married.

He did get married and
we were all at the wedding.

Is he still married?

He's still married
after all this time.

Yeah?

We're gonna call him.

Wow, man.

Yeah, those things
you won't believe.

Marty.

- Marty, this is John.
- Oh man.

It's his
voicemail, hold on.

Here, just say he's gotta
pick you up at the airport.

- Tell him you're at John Wayne.
- Hey Marty, you remember me?

A voice from the past, man.

Yeah, 30 years ago, you
were supposed to pick me up

at the airport but
you couldn't make it

because 48 hours before
my arrival you just

got the notice that you
were getting married.

Isn't that something.

These things can happen.

And, you couldn't put
up with somebody else?

These things can
happen.

Yeah, but you couldn't
put me up with somebody else

because I couldn't do rock
'n' roll, invert or whatever,

backside air revert.

Oh Marty.

I know man, but yeah
man, shit happens.

But, you know my true
friend, Monihan, he gave me

the big surprise of my life.

I went through America,
so man it's, oh.

He just hang up on me.

Wow.

Hey Moni, why
are we dressed up like this?

Don't
worry about it.

I told you this is gonna be fun.

Yeah,
but wait a minute.

I see so many titties, man.

I thought it was
prohibited in New York.

No, don't say that.

♪ America, America ♪

Oh wait, did
you remember your mustache?

I got the
mustache with me, man.

I think Moni had
actually peed his pants.

And, they went squealing away
like little girls. And like...

Sexist.

And then
they went peeling out

of the driveway...

Moni, let's touch
the water, man.

It's a
little bit dirty.

Well, I
guess this is it, man.

Thank you, man.

Yeah.

Yes, man, wow.

Too bad, man.

It's been
good having you here.

See you in 25
years maybe, man.

Shut up.

Thank you, man.

I'll talk to you soon.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh Moni, wait, wait, wait, shit.

Keep working on
your inverts, man.

Yeah?

- Yes, all right, man.
- Safe flight Boerleider.

You've reached
Gary Pillar's cell phone.

I'm not available at the moment.

Leave your message,
I'll get back to you

just as soon as I can.

Hey Pops, it's me.

I'm just calling to
see how you're doing?

I hope you're feeling all right.

I was looking online
and I saw some flights

for Wednesday that
are pretty cheap.

I just wanted to make
sure that that will work.

So, gimme a call when
you get back and yeah,

hopefully I can get
out there this week

and see you.

All right, I'll talk
to you real soon.

Can I get a beer, please.

Thank you, yes, okay.

Hey, you wanna
hear a funny story?

My friend Monihan was
supposed to pick me up

at the airport.

He never showed up.

He was at some kind of a film
festival in some other country

and then his mother picked
me up at the airport.

When we were driving
back she was asking me

all these kind of questions.

And, then she said,
"Hey, would like to go

"for some mushroom hunting?"

And, so I did and that's
where it all started.

Hunting for mushrooms.

Porcini.

Later on I was
checking my email.

Suddenly I heard this voice.

"Boerleider."

I stood up, walked
in the hallway.

I walked up there,
take a look around.

And, suddenly I saw this
hand at the bathroom door

waving at me.

I said, 'oh man...'

'What is happening here?'

So...

I was goddam nervous.

I walked in there

and there she was.

I looked at her,
she looked at me.

Then she asked me, "I have to
ask for a really big favor."

And, then she turned
around, she bent over.

She lifted up her towel,
she spread her butt cheeks.

I was looking and then
suddenly she gave me

a pair of tweezers.

I took a closer look
and there was a tick.

It was just maybe an inch
away from her butt hole.

Can you imagine if it
was inside the butt hole?

Hey man, she could have got
Lyme disease, she could die.

And then, I had the
tweezers in my hand.

I took it out,
man, I took it out.

Its legs were still moving.

I show it to her and I
dropped it in the toilet,

flushed the toilet.

You know and even at
the end, I put a bandaid

on her butt cheeks.

But, you know, sometimes
a man's gotta do

what a man's gotta do.

Man.

Hey, that's me, man.

My flight back to Amsterdam.

Nice talking to you.

Beer.

Subtitles by sub.Trader
Corrected by explosiveskull