All language subtitles for Santa (1995)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 2 00:00:34,061 --> 00:00:36,375 ? Every Christmas Eve ? 3 00:00:36,444 --> 00:00:39,842 ? we are part of a miracle ? 4 00:00:39,911 --> 00:00:42,092 ? every girl and boy ? 5 00:00:42,161 --> 00:00:45,943 ? shares the joy if they believe ? 6 00:00:46,011 --> 00:00:48,093 ? you can share it too ? 7 00:00:48,161 --> 00:00:51,792 ? just believe in the miracle ? 8 00:00:51,861 --> 00:00:54,808 ? you will carry joy with you ? 9 00:00:54,877 --> 00:00:57,775 ? every Christmas Eve ? 10 00:01:30,544 --> 00:01:34,509 In a certain time, in a certain land, 11 00:01:34,577 --> 00:01:37,509 once there lived and once there was... 12 00:01:37,577 --> 00:01:42,876 A magic kingdom at the top of the world. 13 00:01:42,944 --> 00:01:46,542 If a traveler came to that cold, freezing place, 14 00:01:46,611 --> 00:01:48,942 and no traveler ever did, 15 00:01:49,011 --> 00:01:52,175 all he would see would be ice. 16 00:01:52,244 --> 00:01:55,742 Mountains of ice and snow. 17 00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:59,942 But on certain nights, when the stars of the sky shined like jewels, 18 00:02:00,011 --> 00:02:02,575 a wonderful light appeared in the heavens; 19 00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:05,809 and then many lights, all the colors of the rainbow; 20 00:02:05,878 --> 00:02:08,942 and some colors never seen before. 21 00:02:09,011 --> 00:02:11,475 Way on top, 22 00:02:11,544 --> 00:02:16,276 the north star sparkled. 23 00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:19,276 And suddenly, the ice mountains cracked open... 24 00:02:19,344 --> 00:02:22,342 And beautiful, beautiful lights pierced the sky, 25 00:02:22,412 --> 00:02:24,642 and then, out came the vendegums. 26 00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:28,459 Hundreds of them, all in their bright-colored clothes. 27 00:02:28,527 --> 00:02:31,159 Granny, what's a vendegum? 28 00:02:31,228 --> 00:02:34,826 A vendegum? Those are the little men... 29 00:02:34,894 --> 00:02:36,992 Who live in the ice mountains, 30 00:02:37,061 --> 00:02:39,826 way at the top of the world, 31 00:02:39,894 --> 00:02:43,092 under the north star. 32 00:02:43,161 --> 00:02:45,925 Some of them are even littler than you. 33 00:02:45,994 --> 00:02:49,759 This is the same story she told last year. 34 00:02:49,828 --> 00:02:52,525 Oh, when's he coming? When's he gonna get here? 35 00:02:52,594 --> 00:02:55,326 The road from the village must be blocked. 36 00:02:55,395 --> 00:02:57,925 Even those reindeer of his couldn't make it through. 37 00:02:57,994 --> 00:03:02,292 Wouldn't be Christmas without him, though, would it? He hasn't missed one yet. 38 00:03:02,362 --> 00:03:05,775 It's them! Here they come! 39 00:03:27,161 --> 00:03:30,475 All right. Everybody back. Everybody back, everybody back. 40 00:03:35,044 --> 00:03:37,441 - What did you bring? What did I get? - Wait. 41 00:03:40,177 --> 00:03:42,775 Don't I hear something first? 42 00:03:42,844 --> 00:03:46,875 Happy Christmas, Uncle claus! 43 00:03:46,944 --> 00:03:50,709 All right. All right. Here, for you. And you. Thank you! 44 00:03:51,144 --> 00:03:54,442 Cutting wood all day for the whole village. 45 00:03:54,510 --> 00:03:57,209 It's enough to exhaust any man. 46 00:03:57,278 --> 00:03:59,575 How does he find time to make all those things? 47 00:03:59,644 --> 00:04:01,675 He makes time. 48 00:04:01,744 --> 00:04:06,008 What can I tell you? It gives him pleasure. 49 00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:15,775 Little else. 50 00:04:15,844 --> 00:04:18,326 For you. Just for you. 51 00:04:18,394 --> 00:04:22,492 What is it? A vendegum. 52 00:04:22,561 --> 00:04:24,759 Just as I was telling you. 53 00:04:43,611 --> 00:04:46,942 You can't see your hand in front of your face out there. You won't get through. 54 00:04:47,011 --> 00:04:50,642 My reindeer, donner and blitzen, can get through anything. 55 00:04:50,711 --> 00:04:52,642 Come along, Anya. We must hurry. 56 00:04:52,711 --> 00:04:54,942 More children need their toys on the other side of the forest. 57 00:04:55,011 --> 00:04:57,009 'Bye, dear. 58 00:04:59,376 --> 00:05:01,609 Okay. 59 00:05:04,211 --> 00:05:06,875 Bye! Bye! 60 00:05:06,944 --> 00:05:10,042 Did you see their faces when they saw the toys? 61 00:05:10,111 --> 00:05:13,075 Ah, yes. They love their Uncle claus, huh? 62 00:05:19,211 --> 00:05:22,609 Come on, blitzen. Pull harder! 63 00:05:22,677 --> 00:05:24,675 The children are waiting! 64 00:05:31,077 --> 00:05:34,308 Come on, donner. Don't drag your hooves. 65 00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:37,475 Hurry along, now. You can do it, boy. 66 00:05:37,544 --> 00:05:39,542 Come on! 67 00:06:05,910 --> 00:06:09,842 I can't find it, Anya. I can't find the road. 68 00:06:09,910 --> 00:06:13,942 - Where are we? 69 00:06:15,161 --> 00:06:18,126 Come on, boys. Don't slow up now! 70 00:06:21,028 --> 00:06:23,575 Hi-up! Hi-up! 71 00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:27,026 Go! Come on! Blast! 72 00:06:36,494 --> 00:06:38,425 - Come on, blitzen. 73 00:06:38,494 --> 00:06:42,359 Come on, my good boys. Donner! Now listen! 74 00:06:42,427 --> 00:06:45,993 Over there, there's food and warmth... 75 00:06:46,061 --> 00:06:48,126 And a bed and straw and hay... 76 00:06:48,194 --> 00:06:52,026 And everything a smart team of reindeer would like! 77 00:06:52,095 --> 00:06:54,792 Here is where you freeze to death. 78 00:06:54,861 --> 00:06:59,026 Now, come on, my good boys! Come on! 79 00:06:59,095 --> 00:07:01,592 Claus, come back. I can't see you. 80 00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:03,692 Oh, my God. Anya! 81 00:07:04,028 --> 00:07:06,675 Anya! Anya! 82 00:07:11,377 --> 00:07:16,742 Anya. Oh, my God. Anya! Anya! 83 00:07:16,810 --> 00:07:19,775 Anya, please! Oh! 84 00:09:47,844 --> 00:09:50,075 They're here. 85 00:09:58,594 --> 00:10:00,758 Welcome. 86 00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:07,825 It's them. Vendegum. The little people? 87 00:10:07,894 --> 00:10:12,008 We prefer to be called elves, if you don't mind. 88 00:10:12,077 --> 00:10:15,508 - You-you-- - I'm the one called dooley. 89 00:10:15,577 --> 00:10:19,008 - We've been expecting you. - Expecting us? 90 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:22,525 For a long, long time. 91 00:10:22,594 --> 00:10:25,258 We almost gave up hope! 92 00:10:25,461 --> 00:10:27,425 Where are we? 93 00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:33,358 - Home. - No, no, no. Our home is far from-- 94 00:10:33,427 --> 00:10:35,826 look at that! Let's go. Not anymore. 95 00:10:35,894 --> 00:10:38,475 This is your home now. 96 00:10:38,544 --> 00:10:40,943 W-what does he mean? 97 00:10:41,010 --> 00:10:43,375 Uh, you don't understand. 98 00:10:43,444 --> 00:10:48,842 We live in a village far away from this one. Blow! Bits of old ropes, 99 00:10:48,911 --> 00:10:51,124 single-hinge runner connectors. 100 00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:53,124 This is unbelievable! 101 00:10:53,193 --> 00:10:55,459 See I'm gonna have a lot to teach him. 102 00:10:55,527 --> 00:10:58,542 Whoops. Hi, there. 103 00:10:59,911 --> 00:11:03,291 Hi. I'm the one called patch. 104 00:11:03,494 --> 00:11:05,091 Welcome aboard, sir. Speaking for the boys and myself, 105 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:07,591 I'd-- oh, you must be the missus! 106 00:11:07,660 --> 00:11:10,525 Me? Yeah. Well, 107 00:11:10,593 --> 00:11:13,125 we were expecting someone nice, but not someone so young and pretty. 108 00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:16,091 - Were we, boys? - - No. No. 109 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:20,191 - Oh, don't be elf-conscious! - My friends, let us show you your new home. 110 00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:22,591 Patch, take charge of the reindeer. Yeah. Honka! 111 00:11:22,660 --> 00:11:24,609 Take charge of the reindeer. Boog, take charge of the reindeer. 112 00:11:24,678 --> 00:11:26,676 Vout, take charge of the reindeer. 113 00:11:32,093 --> 00:11:34,792 I don't understand. 114 00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:38,025 What new home? There's nothing here. 115 00:11:38,093 --> 00:11:40,491 Look again. 116 00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:54,859 - Where did it come from? - It was always here. 117 00:11:54,927 --> 00:11:58,292 But it can't be seen by just anyone, you know. Mm? 118 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:02,158 Come, fellow elves. Take them to their new home. 119 00:12:02,227 --> 00:12:05,158 Lead and follow, follow and lead. 120 00:12:15,910 --> 00:12:18,008 He's nice, isn't he, patch? 121 00:12:18,077 --> 00:12:21,008 Yeah, I tell you, boys, he gives me a real feeling of elf-confidence. 122 00:12:21,077 --> 00:12:24,308 What's it all about? 123 00:12:24,377 --> 00:12:28,576 Maybe it's a-- aah! No, we're awake! 124 00:13:25,143 --> 00:13:27,375 It's him! He's here! 125 00:13:27,444 --> 00:13:29,442 Yes, he's here, he's here! 126 00:13:39,009 --> 00:13:43,475 Welcome, welcome. I'm the one called puffy. We've been expecting you. 127 00:13:43,544 --> 00:13:45,642 Not now, puffy. The man wants to see the sights. 128 00:13:45,711 --> 00:13:49,007 - Isn't this something? - Did you hear that? He said it's something! 129 00:13:49,076 --> 00:13:53,092 - He did. He did! - Oh, my! 130 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,659 She likes it. She likes it! She does. She does. 131 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:09,025 Isn't this something? Is it warm enough for all of them? 132 00:14:09,094 --> 00:14:11,025 It's exactly what I've been saying, ma'am. 133 00:14:11,094 --> 00:14:14,758 Now, I have an idea for a new way to heat this entire place, using pipes! 134 00:14:17,661 --> 00:14:19,958 Pipes, you know? Cylinder thingies? 135 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,092 There's much more to see, folks. 136 00:14:24,327 --> 00:14:26,425 Pipes. 137 00:14:28,127 --> 00:14:30,442 Pipes. Yeah. 138 00:14:30,510 --> 00:14:33,609 Wait! Wait! 139 00:15:33,527 --> 00:15:36,292 Oh! 140 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:47,592 My goodness. What is all this? 141 00:15:48,027 --> 00:15:50,958 They're Christmas toys. Waiting for you. 142 00:15:51,027 --> 00:15:54,125 For me. 143 00:15:54,193 --> 00:15:57,125 Wh-what have they got to do with me? 144 00:15:57,193 --> 00:16:01,925 You're going to give them to your children. 145 00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:04,425 Th-there must be a mistake. 146 00:16:04,494 --> 00:16:06,791 We have no children. You do now. 147 00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:09,791 You have all the children of the world. 148 00:16:09,860 --> 00:16:13,258 But how could I deliver all these toys? 149 00:16:13,327 --> 00:16:15,725 I won't live long enough for that. 150 00:16:17,293 --> 00:16:19,658 Both of you will live forever. 151 00:16:20,127 --> 00:16:23,242 Like us. 152 00:16:30,027 --> 00:16:32,958 Anya? 153 00:16:33,027 --> 00:16:35,058 Me too. 154 00:16:35,127 --> 00:16:37,092 I can't sleep either. 155 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:42,525 I don't want to sleep. This mattress is so comfortable, 156 00:16:42,593 --> 00:16:45,125 I don't want to miss a moment of it. 157 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:52,791 This-this won't take long. I'll be right back. 158 00:17:05,210 --> 00:17:08,774 What is it, donner, eh? You look so frightened. 159 00:17:08,843 --> 00:17:12,174 There's nothing to worry about. 160 00:17:12,244 --> 00:17:15,641 Really, there isn't. Easy, boy, it's all right. Easy, now, easy. 161 00:17:15,710 --> 00:17:20,007 Strange place, strange companions. 162 00:17:20,076 --> 00:17:22,325 But we're all friends here. 163 00:17:22,393 --> 00:17:24,325 We are! 164 00:17:24,660 --> 00:17:28,242 - Look at old blitz in there. - Does he look worried? Hmm? 165 00:17:29,543 --> 00:17:31,941 Come on. Maybe try and eat something. Hmm? 166 00:17:32,244 --> 00:17:35,525 It's great food. Believe me. 167 00:17:35,593 --> 00:17:37,674 Say, look. Even I like it. 168 00:17:37,743 --> 00:17:40,674 It's delicious. 169 00:17:40,743 --> 00:17:43,308 Mmm! He's like me, I guess. 170 00:17:43,743 --> 00:17:45,674 Oh! Yes. A little confused. 171 00:17:45,877 --> 00:17:48,375 Yeah, yeah. 172 00:17:50,510 --> 00:17:54,108 He's always been the fidgety type. Yeah. Well, 173 00:17:54,176 --> 00:17:56,308 he'll be all right, sir, as soon as he gets used to the place. 174 00:17:56,377 --> 00:17:59,608 He just needs a little elf-control. Mm. 175 00:17:59,676 --> 00:18:01,608 Well, you certainly know your reindeer. 176 00:18:01,676 --> 00:18:06,442 These are fine specimens. Oh! Hear that, boys? You made a good impression. 177 00:18:06,509 --> 00:18:08,442 Come on. 178 00:18:08,509 --> 00:18:12,174 Look. These two are twins. Prancer and dancer. 179 00:18:13,610 --> 00:18:16,174 The way you can tell them apart is by those snooty monocles. 180 00:18:16,244 --> 00:18:18,974 Prancer's is on his right eye, 181 00:18:19,043 --> 00:18:20,774 and dancer's is on his left eye. 182 00:18:20,843 --> 00:18:23,342 And this lad with the great big antlers is comet. 183 00:18:24,344 --> 00:18:26,442 And old spotted-nose here is cupid. 184 00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:33,208 This white-faced boy here, that's old dasher. 185 00:18:33,277 --> 00:18:36,342 He loves to run, he does, he really does. He'd rather run than eat! 186 00:18:36,410 --> 00:18:39,774 And, uh, this noisy one with the floppy jowls, he's ViXen. 187 00:18:39,843 --> 00:18:42,841 Keep you up half the night with his snorts and whinnies, 188 00:18:42,909 --> 00:18:44,874 whinnies and snorts. 189 00:18:44,943 --> 00:18:46,874 And you sleep here? Yes! 190 00:18:46,943 --> 00:18:50,041 And this is where I do my other work. 191 00:18:50,110 --> 00:18:53,375 Yeah, they keep you busy, huh? Well, I-I-I like it that way. 192 00:18:53,444 --> 00:18:56,874 Sometimes I get so many ideas, I don't know where to keep them in my head. 193 00:18:56,943 --> 00:18:59,408 Um-- oh! Look. 194 00:19:01,410 --> 00:19:03,841 A clock that wakes you up in the morning. How about that? Ha? 195 00:19:03,909 --> 00:19:05,841 That's not bad. Aha! 196 00:19:05,909 --> 00:19:08,108 A plate that whistles when the food's too hot. 197 00:19:08,176 --> 00:19:10,941 Ah? 198 00:19:11,009 --> 00:19:13,308 Um-- oh! Look, look, look. 199 00:19:13,377 --> 00:19:16,174 I've got here a complete syste-- uh-- 200 00:19:16,244 --> 00:19:18,308 what do we need all these reindeer for? 201 00:19:18,377 --> 00:19:22,841 Uh, you'll see. 202 00:19:22,909 --> 00:19:25,441 This is a curious kind of place. This is nothing now. 203 00:19:25,509 --> 00:19:28,874 - Wait till you see how it gets during season's greetings. - Season's greetings? 204 00:19:28,943 --> 00:19:32,242 - Mm-hmm. You'll see. - What's that? 205 00:19:33,377 --> 00:19:37,108 Oh, look, sir. Now he's having a bite. 206 00:20:09,577 --> 00:20:12,474 - Ooh! - Ooh! 207 00:20:12,543 --> 00:20:15,575 - Hurray! - Hoop-ah! 208 00:20:21,493 --> 00:20:23,724 ? 209 00:20:58,476 --> 00:21:00,507 Maybe it's the massive bulk of it. 210 00:21:00,577 --> 00:21:02,507 I never did an extra-large before. 211 00:21:02,577 --> 00:21:06,775 No, the size is fine. Please don't think I'm criticizing, 212 00:21:06,843 --> 00:21:08,875 but green's just not his color. 213 00:21:08,944 --> 00:21:12,541 - What about, um-- - Brown! 214 00:21:12,610 --> 00:21:14,541 Red. 215 00:21:14,610 --> 00:21:18,541 Yes! Red! 216 00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:20,541 Perfect! Matches his cheeks... 217 00:21:20,610 --> 00:21:22,608 And everything! 218 00:21:24,927 --> 00:21:27,024 Whee! 219 00:22:25,443 --> 00:22:28,257 Ah! 220 00:22:28,326 --> 00:22:30,257 Hey! 221 00:24:01,976 --> 00:24:05,708 - Oh. Well? - Coming closer now. Not just yet! 222 00:24:05,776 --> 00:24:10,108 Two more degrees north by northwest-- 223 00:24:10,276 --> 00:24:12,157 now! 224 00:24:17,493 --> 00:24:19,741 Ohh! 225 00:24:21,776 --> 00:24:24,157 Ahh! 226 00:24:33,559 --> 00:24:37,608 - Season's greeting's back! - Season's greetings! 227 00:24:40,343 --> 00:24:43,207 Season's greetings! Season's greetings! 228 00:25:12,559 --> 00:25:18,190 Southeast crosswind, point right. Northwest-- 229 00:25:18,259 --> 00:25:20,625 are you nervous? 230 00:25:20,693 --> 00:25:24,658 Me, nervous? No. 231 00:25:25,660 --> 00:25:28,290 Oh! 232 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:32,224 You look... Wonderful to me. 233 00:25:32,292 --> 00:25:35,858 Uh, it does suit me, doesn't it? 234 00:25:35,927 --> 00:25:39,390 A handsome man looks good in anything. 235 00:25:39,459 --> 00:25:44,992 Oh, I'm so proud of you. 236 00:25:45,059 --> 00:25:46,992 Mm! 237 00:25:49,426 --> 00:25:52,691 It's time, sir. Oh. 238 00:25:57,126 --> 00:25:59,841 - They're waiting. 239 00:26:30,076 --> 00:26:32,007 He looks wonderful! 240 00:26:32,076 --> 00:26:35,091 It's a perfect fit, if I do say so myself. 241 00:26:35,159 --> 00:26:39,991 The color, the style.. that outfit is him, boys. I'm telling you. Just him. 242 00:27:52,276 --> 00:27:54,640 The prophecy... 243 00:27:54,709 --> 00:27:57,040 Has come to pass... 244 00:27:57,109 --> 00:28:00,207 That there would come to us... 245 00:28:00,276 --> 00:28:02,274 A chosen one. 246 00:28:02,343 --> 00:28:07,140 And that he, having no child of his own, 247 00:28:07,209 --> 00:28:11,374 would love all children, everywhere. 248 00:28:12,542 --> 00:28:14,507 And that he himself would be... 249 00:28:14,576 --> 00:28:17,774 An artisan, and a craftsman, 250 00:28:19,176 --> 00:28:21,807 and a skilled... 251 00:28:21,877 --> 00:28:24,841 Maker of toys. 252 00:28:24,909 --> 00:28:29,407 And now, chosen one, come forward. 253 00:28:37,209 --> 00:28:39,574 From this day on, 254 00:28:39,642 --> 00:28:42,140 now and forever, 255 00:28:42,209 --> 00:28:46,241 you will bring our gifts to all the children... 256 00:28:46,309 --> 00:28:48,940 In all the world. 257 00:28:49,009 --> 00:28:52,374 And all this to be done... 258 00:28:52,442 --> 00:28:54,507 On Christmas Eve. 259 00:28:54,576 --> 00:28:58,474 How can I do so much in just one night? 260 00:28:58,542 --> 00:29:01,507 Oh, yes. 261 00:29:04,642 --> 00:29:07,241 Time travels with you; 262 00:29:07,309 --> 00:29:12,207 that the night of the world is a passage... 263 00:29:12,276 --> 00:29:15,774 Of endless night for you. 264 00:29:15,842 --> 00:29:19,974 Mm. Until your mission is done. 265 00:29:20,042 --> 00:29:25,140 This is your legacy, and your gift, 266 00:29:25,209 --> 00:29:28,574 as is the gift of flight. 267 00:29:31,509 --> 00:29:34,440 Mm-hmm. Now. 268 00:29:34,509 --> 00:29:38,091 All those within the sound of my voice, 269 00:29:38,159 --> 00:29:42,091 and all those on this earth everywhere know... 270 00:29:42,526 --> 00:29:45,424 That henceforth, 271 00:29:45,493 --> 00:29:48,024 you will be called... 272 00:29:48,093 --> 00:29:50,091 Santa claus. 273 00:29:50,159 --> 00:29:52,024 Santa? 274 00:29:52,093 --> 00:29:56,924 And now, everyone, 275 00:29:56,993 --> 00:30:01,124 - merry Christmas! - -Merry Christmas! 276 00:30:05,259 --> 00:30:07,691 Merry Christmas. Yes. 277 00:30:53,159 --> 00:30:55,591 Come on. Good boy. 278 00:31:32,909 --> 00:31:34,973 Yo! 279 00:31:38,009 --> 00:31:41,007 Faster! Faster! 280 00:31:41,075 --> 00:31:46,274 Ho-ho-ho! Ha-ha-ha! Ho-ho-ho! 281 00:31:48,842 --> 00:31:50,840 Come on, boys. Come on! 282 00:31:50,909 --> 00:31:53,374 Come on. Don't be afraid. Come on. 283 00:31:54,876 --> 00:31:57,907 This is it! Come on! 284 00:31:59,876 --> 00:32:03,174 Ho, ho, ho! Feel the wind in your faces, boys. 285 00:32:22,875 --> 00:32:24,806 Oh, come on, donner. 286 00:32:24,875 --> 00:32:27,607 There's nothing to worry about. It's only flying. 287 00:32:29,909 --> 00:32:32,174 "Only flying"? What am I saying? 288 00:32:32,243 --> 00:32:34,541 All right, boys. Bank to the right. 289 00:32:34,609 --> 00:32:38,424 Steady! That's the way! 290 00:33:06,226 --> 00:33:08,525 Come on, boys. That's my good boys. 291 00:33:32,925 --> 00:33:34,923 Ho-ho-ho-ho! 292 00:33:37,443 --> 00:33:41,573 Oh, more and more are learning to write now, asking for what they want. 293 00:33:41,642 --> 00:33:43,740 Reading and writing, writing and reading. 294 00:34:06,058 --> 00:34:10,257 Leave him alone! Don't! Can't you see he hates it? 295 00:34:10,326 --> 00:34:12,357 Let go! Leave him alone! Don't! 296 00:34:12,426 --> 00:34:14,357 Leave him be! You're hurting him. 297 00:34:14,825 --> 00:34:16,540 Oh, l-let go! 298 00:34:16,609 --> 00:34:19,957 Come back, you stupid animal! 299 00:34:20,026 --> 00:34:22,024 Come back! 300 00:35:07,343 --> 00:35:10,606 "I am sure he hurts the poor little kitten, 301 00:35:10,675 --> 00:35:14,474 "and when I cry, he just laughs at me. 302 00:35:14,542 --> 00:35:17,573 Yours sincerely, miss Sarah foster." 303 00:35:17,642 --> 00:35:20,174 You were quite right to bring this to our attention, dooley. 304 00:35:20,243 --> 00:35:22,441 That little boy must not get a present. 305 00:35:22,509 --> 00:35:25,207 No present for him? Every child should get a present. 306 00:35:25,276 --> 00:35:28,573 It's time to change the rules. 307 00:35:28,642 --> 00:35:33,207 You'll have folks saying that Santa claus only rewards the good little boys and girls. 308 00:35:33,276 --> 00:35:36,074 Isn't that as it should be? 309 00:35:36,143 --> 00:35:40,274 All right. Dooley, make up a list... 310 00:35:40,343 --> 00:35:43,307 Of who is naughty and nice. Yes, sir! 311 00:35:43,376 --> 00:35:46,507 And be careful. I'll be checking it twice. 312 00:35:50,042 --> 00:35:53,507 ? Christmas is the best of days ? 313 00:35:53,575 --> 00:35:57,140 ? who's the happy cause ? ho, ho, ho! 314 00:35:57,209 --> 00:36:00,473 ? It's our favorite person ? 315 00:36:00,542 --> 00:36:04,607 ? mine and yours Santa claus ? 316 00:36:04,675 --> 00:36:08,140 ? Santa gives to all of us ? 317 00:36:08,209 --> 00:36:11,774 ? all he has to give ? 318 00:36:11,842 --> 00:36:15,707 ? Santa really knows the way to live ? 319 00:36:15,776 --> 00:36:19,524 - ? live, live, live ? 320 00:36:19,592 --> 00:36:23,024 ? thank you, Santa ? 321 00:36:23,092 --> 00:36:26,524 ? thank you, Santa ? 322 00:36:26,592 --> 00:36:31,757 ? when it snows we know you're near ? 323 00:36:31,825 --> 00:36:36,990 ? we want to thank you, Santa ? 324 00:36:37,059 --> 00:36:39,024 "'Twas the night before Christmas, 325 00:36:39,092 --> 00:36:41,124 "when all through the house, 326 00:36:41,193 --> 00:36:44,890 not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse." 327 00:36:44,959 --> 00:36:48,757 What is it? It's a poem. A poem about me. 328 00:36:48,825 --> 00:36:51,191 Ooh. They say it's a big hit. 329 00:36:51,260 --> 00:36:54,258 "He had a broad face, and a little round belly, 330 00:36:54,326 --> 00:36:58,191 that shook when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly." 331 00:36:58,260 --> 00:37:00,624 What? Pardon? 332 00:37:02,126 --> 00:37:05,090 Was that-- that last part. 333 00:37:07,026 --> 00:37:11,690 - "He had a broad face-- - Yes. Go on. 334 00:37:13,343 --> 00:37:15,274 "And a little round belly, 335 00:37:15,343 --> 00:37:20,840 - "that shook when he laughed like a bowlful of.. - Jelly. 336 00:37:21,043 --> 00:37:25,440 It's just a poem. 337 00:37:26,775 --> 00:37:31,723 - Is that how they think I look? - Well, you know. The cookies. 338 00:37:35,025 --> 00:37:39,490 It's the cookies. The cookies. 339 00:37:39,558 --> 00:37:43,823 Ohh. 340 00:37:50,058 --> 00:37:52,090 Acid. 341 00:38:28,325 --> 00:38:31,356 Your soup's getting cold. 342 00:38:31,425 --> 00:38:35,190 Welcome back, Santa. Have a good trip? 343 00:38:36,492 --> 00:38:38,956 What's this? Oh, next year's schedule. 344 00:38:39,025 --> 00:38:41,290 Oh, can't it wait a few days? 345 00:38:41,358 --> 00:38:44,290 He's just come home! No! 346 00:38:44,358 --> 00:38:46,623 Ooh. 347 00:38:49,525 --> 00:38:51,456 I must have dozed off. 348 00:38:51,525 --> 00:38:55,657 Darling, 349 00:38:55,725 --> 00:38:59,123 why don't you get an assistant, hmm? 350 00:38:59,192 --> 00:39:02,823 - What? - I don't like to see you pushing yourself like this. 351 00:39:02,892 --> 00:39:07,190 - You're spreading yourself too thin. - Who would want the job? 352 00:39:07,258 --> 00:39:11,757 Two elves spring to mind. One of them practically bounces to mind! 353 00:39:11,825 --> 00:39:13,490 Oh, yes. 354 00:39:13,825 --> 00:39:16,306 I'm supposed to show you this. 355 00:39:16,375 --> 00:39:19,540 What is it? Oh, something patch thought up. 356 00:39:20,775 --> 00:39:24,623 Look at that. Isn't that a clever thing? 357 00:39:24,692 --> 00:39:28,356 ? Time tumbles by ? 358 00:39:28,425 --> 00:39:32,423 ? there's snow in the sky ? 359 00:39:32,491 --> 00:39:35,389 - Isn't it beautiful? - Yes, lovely. 360 00:39:35,458 --> 00:39:39,423 - ? And here it is Christmas ? - Merry Christmas! 361 00:39:39,491 --> 00:39:41,690 Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to you. 362 00:39:41,758 --> 00:39:45,690 Cold enough for you? Oh, it's warm in here. Merry Christmas. 363 00:39:45,758 --> 00:39:47,690 Merry Christmas. God bless you, ma'am. Merry Christmas. 364 00:39:47,758 --> 00:39:51,024 Mer-ry Christmas! 365 00:39:51,092 --> 00:39:54,024 Mer-ry Christmas! 366 00:39:54,092 --> 00:39:57,489 God bless you, sir. 367 00:39:57,558 --> 00:40:01,523 Mer-ry Christmas! Mer-ry Christmas! 368 00:40:04,026 --> 00:40:06,874 Mer-ry Christmas. 369 00:40:36,576 --> 00:40:39,556 Mer-ry Christmas! 370 00:40:39,625 --> 00:40:42,423 Mer-ry Christmas! Thank you very much today. 371 00:41:05,209 --> 00:41:07,607 Cornelia! Come away from that window this instant. 372 00:41:07,676 --> 00:41:12,007 You can hear the music perfectly well at the table while you do your homework. 373 00:41:12,076 --> 00:41:14,640 American history sitting around half-done-- 374 00:41:14,709 --> 00:41:16,640 if you think that your step-Uncle... 375 00:41:16,709 --> 00:41:20,373 - Is going to stand for this-- - He never even looks at my report card. 376 00:41:20,442 --> 00:41:24,207 - He probably doesn't even know what grade I'm in. - Young lady, 377 00:41:24,275 --> 00:41:27,373 you do just as I tell you. 378 00:41:27,442 --> 00:41:29,857 An assistant? Your assistant? 379 00:41:29,925 --> 00:41:32,290 Oh, w-w-with all due respect, 380 00:41:32,359 --> 00:41:35,656 I have ideas that'll turn this place upside down. 381 00:41:35,993 --> 00:41:39,106 That is not exactly what I had in mind. 382 00:41:39,174 --> 00:41:41,373 No, no. I'm talking modern methods of production here! 383 00:41:41,442 --> 00:41:44,340 I'm talking assembly line! I'm talking wave of the future. 384 00:41:44,408 --> 00:41:47,773 - I'm talking faster, quicker-- - And sloppier. 385 00:41:47,842 --> 00:41:51,640 Puffy, the thing about me is that I don't lack elf-assurance. 386 00:41:51,709 --> 00:41:54,073 I'm not afraid to rock the sleigh! Sir, 387 00:41:54,141 --> 00:41:57,306 I have long admired your traditional methods of manufacture. 388 00:41:57,375 --> 00:42:00,172 I assure you that I will give the same attention... 389 00:42:00,242 --> 00:42:03,506 - To quality and detail-- - Boys, boys. 390 00:42:03,575 --> 00:42:07,040 Don't give me campaign promises, give me results. 391 00:42:07,108 --> 00:42:11,106 The one who gets the job is the one who does the job best. 392 00:42:27,492 --> 00:42:29,790 How about this one? 393 00:42:33,976 --> 00:42:35,974 Yeah. 394 00:42:52,392 --> 00:42:55,156 There. 395 00:43:09,692 --> 00:43:11,923 Clear! 396 00:43:17,859 --> 00:43:21,289 - Go. 397 00:43:56,158 --> 00:44:00,039 - Ha! - Oh! 398 00:44:15,425 --> 00:44:17,357 Excellent. Keep up the good work. 399 00:44:17,425 --> 00:44:19,423 Right. Right. 400 00:44:48,108 --> 00:44:50,973 Wait! Isn't it going too fast? 401 00:44:51,041 --> 00:44:54,740 Too fast? Welcome to the 20th century! 402 00:45:31,558 --> 00:45:34,523 Hey! 403 00:45:37,608 --> 00:45:40,906 Good try, puffy. 404 00:46:17,425 --> 00:46:20,356 Mmm, I can't eat another bite. 405 00:46:20,425 --> 00:46:22,790 Me too. 406 00:46:24,492 --> 00:46:28,340 Well, I'm taking my coffee to the library, 407 00:46:28,409 --> 00:46:30,473 so I can watch my masterpiece theater. 408 00:46:30,542 --> 00:46:33,640 And you, little miss, make sure you learn those Latin verbs! 409 00:46:33,709 --> 00:46:36,939 ? 410 00:46:52,825 --> 00:46:57,457 Psst! Psst! Little boy? 411 00:46:58,642 --> 00:47:01,073 Psst! Hey, boy! 412 00:48:08,092 --> 00:48:10,090 Going well, eh? 413 00:48:24,025 --> 00:48:26,706 Merry Christmas, pretty lady. 414 00:48:34,208 --> 00:48:36,139 Ho, ho, ho, ho! 415 00:48:36,208 --> 00:48:39,440 What a night, my boys! What a night! 416 00:48:39,741 --> 00:48:43,656 Decorations hung at the windows. 417 00:48:43,724 --> 00:48:46,490 Stockings hung by the fireplaces. 418 00:48:46,558 --> 00:48:49,590 Ho, ho, ho! Isn't it wonderful! 419 00:48:50,725 --> 00:48:52,656 Tonight, there's not a child alive... 420 00:48:53,125 --> 00:48:55,005 Who's not bursting with joy and happiness. 421 00:48:55,074 --> 00:48:57,440 Oh. 422 00:48:57,508 --> 00:49:02,823 Hang on, boys. I think we're gonna make an unscheduled stop. 423 00:49:20,275 --> 00:49:22,590 Whoa! 424 00:49:22,658 --> 00:49:26,590 All right, stay right here, boys. I'll be right back. 425 00:49:30,858 --> 00:49:34,106 - Hello, son. - Hey, beat it, man. 426 00:49:34,175 --> 00:49:36,173 Find your own doorway. Don't crowd me. 427 00:49:36,242 --> 00:49:39,923 - What are you doing out here? - I'm pitchin' a no-hitter for the Yankees. 428 00:49:39,991 --> 00:49:43,256 - What's it look like? - But it's Christmas Eve! 429 00:49:43,325 --> 00:49:45,256 Don't you know what that means? 430 00:49:45,325 --> 00:49:49,056 Yeah, it means you don't have a job till next year. You and the rest of the winos. 431 00:49:49,125 --> 00:49:52,323 - Don't you know who I am? - Sure, you're a nut. 432 00:49:52,391 --> 00:49:56,755 I'm Santa claus! Right. And I'm the tooth fairy. 433 00:49:56,825 --> 00:50:01,156 Well, I guess I'll just have to do it my way. 434 00:50:02,158 --> 00:50:04,190 ? Holy cow! 435 00:50:04,258 --> 00:50:07,923 - How'd you do that? - See, what did I tell ya? 436 00:50:08,358 --> 00:50:10,457 Come on, Santa claus ain't... real? 437 00:50:10,525 --> 00:50:13,006 Wanna go for a ride? 438 00:50:13,075 --> 00:50:15,106 A ride? A ride on that? 439 00:50:15,175 --> 00:50:18,588 - I've never even been in a plane! - You better make up your mind. 440 00:50:18,657 --> 00:50:21,989 I'm pretty busy tonight. Yeah, sure, if it's all right. 441 00:50:22,325 --> 00:50:26,423 - I mean, like, really? 442 00:50:26,492 --> 00:50:30,122 Now, hold on tight, and don't worry. 443 00:50:30,192 --> 00:50:34,356 You'll be as safe here as you are in your own home. I ain't got a home. 444 00:50:34,425 --> 00:50:36,989 Mm-hmm. 445 00:50:37,058 --> 00:50:41,190 Do you know how to say "yo"? 446 00:50:41,258 --> 00:50:42,772 Yo? 447 00:50:59,325 --> 00:51:02,856 Wow! Oh, wow! 448 00:51:10,391 --> 00:51:13,223 You really are Santa claus, ain't ya? 449 00:51:13,292 --> 00:51:15,823 Yes. But I still don't know who you are. 450 00:51:15,891 --> 00:51:19,522 Joe! I'm Joe! Nice to meet you, Joe. 451 00:51:24,358 --> 00:51:26,789 Wow, neat! How do you make 'me do it? 452 00:51:26,858 --> 00:51:29,290 Oh, just like a horse and buggy. Pull their reins. 453 00:51:29,358 --> 00:51:31,755 Both together to make 'em go higher. 454 00:51:31,825 --> 00:51:34,789 Can they do anything you want? Oh, yes. 455 00:51:34,858 --> 00:51:38,089 - Well, anything except the super-dooper looper. 456 00:51:38,158 --> 00:51:40,856 - What's that? - I've been trying for years. 457 00:51:40,925 --> 00:51:43,823 Well, maybe tonight's the night! 458 00:51:43,891 --> 00:51:47,755 Come on, donner. Let's give it that old college try! 459 00:51:50,825 --> 00:51:55,473 - Come on, donner! This may be it! This may be it! - Ohh, yahoo! 460 00:51:55,541 --> 00:51:59,173 You can do it, donner! Come on, boy! 461 00:51:59,242 --> 00:52:02,022 - Here we go! - Ohh-- 462 00:52:02,225 --> 00:52:05,073 you can do it, boy! I know you can do it! 463 00:52:05,141 --> 00:52:08,373 - Come on! 464 00:52:12,691 --> 00:52:15,823 - Ohh! - Ohh. 465 00:52:18,075 --> 00:52:21,605 Boy, well, didn't work again. 466 00:52:21,674 --> 00:52:23,806 That's all right, donner boy. 467 00:52:23,874 --> 00:52:26,373 We'll get it next time. 468 00:52:26,441 --> 00:52:30,705 Tell 'em it's all right. Uh, hey, like, 469 00:52:30,774 --> 00:52:32,705 don't sweat it! 470 00:52:32,774 --> 00:52:36,073 You did your best, you know? 471 00:52:42,908 --> 00:52:45,739 Hey, how would you like to drive for a while? 472 00:52:45,808 --> 00:52:48,505 Me? Drive? Sure! 473 00:52:48,574 --> 00:52:51,672 It's easy. Here! Take the reins. 474 00:52:55,908 --> 00:52:58,973 Well, come on. Whoa! 475 00:52:59,042 --> 00:53:02,073 Wa-hoo-hoo! 476 00:53:02,142 --> 00:53:04,206 Oh, wow! 477 00:53:04,275 --> 00:53:06,806 How am I doin'? Oh, great. 478 00:53:10,242 --> 00:53:13,240 - Ohh! - Come on, guys, go! 479 00:53:13,309 --> 00:53:15,823 Oh, no. No! Hey, wait a minute! Come on, guys. Go! 480 00:53:15,891 --> 00:53:18,089 Wait a minute! Oh! Oh! Go, go, go! 481 00:53:18,158 --> 00:53:20,356 Watch out! Oh! Wait a minute! 482 00:53:22,358 --> 00:53:24,655 Wait a second. Oh, oh, my! 483 00:53:24,724 --> 00:53:26,856 What do you call them? 484 00:53:26,925 --> 00:53:29,555 Reindeer. No, I mean, what's their names? 485 00:53:29,624 --> 00:53:31,622 Oh. Startin' from the front, 486 00:53:31,691 --> 00:53:33,989 that's donner and blitzen. 487 00:53:34,058 --> 00:53:37,173 Comet and cupid, prancer and dancer, 488 00:53:37,241 --> 00:53:40,673 then dasher and ViXen. Look. There's the Brooklyn bridge. 489 00:53:40,741 --> 00:53:43,372 Here we go! Come on, donner. Come on! 490 00:53:43,441 --> 00:53:47,639 - Oh-h-h-h! - Whoo! Whoo, whoo! 491 00:53:47,942 --> 00:53:49,589 Go, go! 492 00:53:52,524 --> 00:53:55,173 Let's go get it! Come on, donner! 493 00:53:55,474 --> 00:53:57,755 Come on, blitzen! Go, guys, go, go! 494 00:53:57,825 --> 00:54:01,588 - Come on, donner. - You can do it. 495 00:54:01,657 --> 00:54:03,489 Come on, go, go! 496 00:54:03,691 --> 00:54:06,206 Oh, boy. 497 00:54:15,608 --> 00:54:17,290 I better take 'em now, Joe. 498 00:54:17,357 --> 00:54:20,989 Where are we going? Well, we can't joyride all night. 499 00:54:21,058 --> 00:54:23,889 I've got a job to do, you know? 500 00:54:23,958 --> 00:54:27,056 Oh, yeah! 501 00:54:35,541 --> 00:54:38,505 Is this the kid who lives here? 502 00:54:38,575 --> 00:54:41,040 Yep. What'd he get? 503 00:54:41,108 --> 00:54:43,040 Fishing rod. How come? 504 00:54:43,108 --> 00:54:46,372 That's what he asked for in his letter. 505 00:54:46,441 --> 00:54:48,773 You mean, if a kid writes-- 506 00:54:48,841 --> 00:54:53,190 - anything he wants? - Joe, didn't you ever write me a letter? 507 00:54:53,258 --> 00:54:56,306 I never believed in-- 508 00:54:56,374 --> 00:54:59,639 I mean, hey, I never needed nothin'. 509 00:54:59,707 --> 00:55:02,522 - See, I usually travel light. - Well-- 510 00:55:03,891 --> 00:55:05,889 let's travel now. 511 00:55:32,441 --> 00:55:35,006 Look, I'm sorry. I didn't see it. 512 00:55:46,192 --> 00:55:49,722 Are you him? 513 00:55:49,791 --> 00:55:51,722 Are you Santa claus? 514 00:55:51,791 --> 00:55:55,388 Boy, I hate it when this happens. 515 00:55:55,457 --> 00:55:58,156 - Hello, little girl. - Is this my doll? 516 00:55:58,357 --> 00:56:00,689 Mmm. 517 00:56:00,757 --> 00:56:04,940 - What are you doing here? - You two know each other. 518 00:56:05,008 --> 00:56:07,672 Oh, sort of. 519 00:56:10,241 --> 00:56:13,472 I'm Cornelia. I'm Joe. 520 00:56:13,541 --> 00:56:19,022 - I'm Santa claus. - Oh, it's a great pleasure to meet you, sir. 521 00:56:19,224 --> 00:56:23,205 Would you like some cookies? They're from bloomingdale's. 522 00:56:23,274 --> 00:56:25,906 Oh. 523 00:56:25,975 --> 00:56:30,372 Chocolate chip. They're my favorite. 524 00:56:30,441 --> 00:56:33,439 Listen, corny. Thanks for all the good food you gave me. 525 00:56:33,507 --> 00:56:35,505 I can make you a bowl of ice cream. 526 00:56:35,575 --> 00:56:39,238 I tell you what, Joe. You stay here and have something to eat. 527 00:56:39,307 --> 00:56:42,606 - I'll see you again. - You will? You mean it? 528 00:56:42,675 --> 00:56:45,773 Santa claus doesn't lie, Joe. 529 00:56:45,841 --> 00:56:49,505 - Next Christmas Eve, we got a date, okay? - You bet! 530 00:56:49,575 --> 00:56:51,673 Thanks for the cookies. 531 00:56:57,991 --> 00:56:59,855 What a guy. 532 00:57:00,191 --> 00:57:02,439 Excellent. 533 00:57:02,507 --> 00:57:06,123 Come on, now. It's easy. There you go. 534 00:57:09,725 --> 00:57:13,305 You're doing fine. Thanks, daddy. 535 00:57:13,374 --> 00:57:17,656 That's it. Oh! 536 00:57:17,724 --> 00:57:20,656 Sweetie pie! 537 00:57:30,925 --> 00:57:35,205 Mom! 538 00:57:35,408 --> 00:57:38,839 - He's a great guy! - His toys are cheap crap! 539 00:57:38,908 --> 00:57:42,138 His presents suck! What do you care? Nobody ever gave you nothin'! 540 00:57:42,441 --> 00:57:44,856 How can you be so dumb? 541 00:57:44,925 --> 00:57:47,288 Everyone knows he gives out shoddy, cheap toys. 542 00:57:47,357 --> 00:57:49,606 My daddy says he's an old fake. 543 00:57:49,674 --> 00:57:52,806 He is not. He's the nicest man in the whole world. 544 00:57:52,875 --> 00:57:57,138 My parents gave me a doll, and she says whole sentences on a cassette. 545 00:57:57,207 --> 00:57:59,972 You don't have any parents, so naaah! Ow! 546 00:58:00,041 --> 00:58:05,089 - A fight! - Girls! No way can dancers be angry. 547 00:58:21,224 --> 00:58:23,455 Returns are coming back from everywhere. 548 00:58:23,524 --> 00:58:26,255 Returns? We've never had returns. 549 00:58:26,324 --> 00:58:30,189 Maybe we could put out some kind of statement. 550 00:58:30,257 --> 00:58:32,422 Hi. 551 00:58:36,024 --> 00:58:39,322 Well, I've got a lot to do. 552 00:58:47,924 --> 00:58:49,889 The thing-- 553 00:58:49,957 --> 00:58:52,889 I never was-- you see, I wanted- 554 00:58:52,957 --> 00:58:55,955 being tied down to a desk suits some elves, you know, 555 00:58:56,024 --> 00:58:59,955 but others of us are more free-spirited. 556 00:59:00,024 --> 00:59:03,022 I know you had no idea. I know that. 557 00:59:10,691 --> 00:59:12,722 Patch, how can I say this? 558 00:59:12,791 --> 00:59:17,889 Yeah, I think that, um... red-- 559 00:59:18,357 --> 00:59:22,272 red just, just isn't my color, you know? 560 00:59:31,757 --> 00:59:35,105 Congratulations! 561 00:59:43,942 --> 00:59:47,806 He'll never have an assistant as good as me. 562 00:59:47,874 --> 00:59:52,372 Let's face it, he just doesn't like me. 563 00:59:56,174 --> 01:00:00,755 Well, boys, I'm gonna miss you. You know that, don't you? 564 01:00:22,308 --> 01:00:24,689 Take care of yourself, huh? 565 01:01:13,708 --> 01:01:18,172 Now, sir, I'm asking you if this toy here was manufactured by your company, 566 01:01:18,241 --> 01:01:21,272 the b.Z. Toy manufacturing corporation. 567 01:01:21,341 --> 01:01:24,538 Um, yes, senator, this doll appears to be... 568 01:01:24,607 --> 01:01:28,339 One of our own Betty beauties. 569 01:01:33,708 --> 01:01:37,004 Holy crap! My goodness! 570 01:01:42,858 --> 01:01:45,222 Well, what do you say to that, sir? 571 01:01:45,290 --> 01:01:47,789 Well, senator, I've always known that cigarette smoking... 572 01:01:47,858 --> 01:01:51,089 Could be hazardous to your health. 573 01:01:51,157 --> 01:01:54,022 This is not a laughing matter, sir. This is a tragedy! 574 01:01:54,091 --> 01:01:56,489 You, sir, are a disgrace to your profession. 575 01:01:56,557 --> 01:01:59,022 Um, senator, with all due respect-- 576 01:01:59,091 --> 01:02:04,839 and, I believe, this toy is advertised as being suitable for three-year-olds. 577 01:02:08,524 --> 01:02:11,855 Oh, my goodness! 578 01:02:11,923 --> 01:02:16,755 Um, senator, I'm even more astonished... 579 01:02:16,824 --> 01:02:21,405 Than you are to see this, and I can guarantee that if these are not isolated examples, 580 01:02:21,474 --> 01:02:25,072 I'll make sure that they never happen again. 581 01:02:25,140 --> 01:02:27,222 Well, you better do more than that, sir. 582 01:02:27,291 --> 01:02:29,622 You better withdraw every b.Z. Toy on the market, 583 01:02:29,691 --> 01:02:34,555 or I'll personally see to it that your license to manufacture in the United States is revoked. 584 01:02:34,991 --> 01:02:38,723 No comment! 585 01:02:38,791 --> 01:02:41,623 Okay, towser, give it to me straight. 586 01:02:41,691 --> 01:02:46,022 The retail outfits are pulling our toys off the shelves. Cowards! 587 01:02:46,091 --> 01:02:49,623 The post said that anyone who gives his kid a b.Z. Toy should have his head examined. 588 01:02:49,691 --> 01:02:52,623 Swine! Cancel my subscription. 589 01:02:52,691 --> 01:02:56,623 We've got to meet a payroll by the end of the month for 2,000 factory workers. 590 01:02:56,691 --> 01:02:59,623 Commies! And our cash flow is flowing the wrong way. 591 01:02:59,691 --> 01:03:02,805 Right down the toilet. You sure know how to cheer a guy up. 592 01:03:02,873 --> 01:03:04,972 What'll we do, b.Z.? 593 01:03:05,040 --> 01:03:09,255 Patch gone? Where will he go? What will he do? 594 01:03:10,524 --> 01:03:12,955 The world is no place for an elf. 595 01:03:13,024 --> 01:03:15,622 The world's a nice enough place, isn't it? 596 01:03:15,691 --> 01:03:19,189 I mean, they send such nice letters from there. It must be. 597 01:03:21,990 --> 01:03:26,456 ? It's Christmas ? 598 01:03:28,057 --> 01:03:31,756 ? all over the world ? 599 01:03:31,957 --> 01:03:34,822 ? tonight ? 600 01:03:37,758 --> 01:03:40,422 ? it's Christmas ? they must be very popular. 601 01:03:40,491 --> 01:03:43,589 Look how fast they're going. 602 01:03:43,658 --> 01:03:47,422 ? All over the world ? 603 01:03:51,790 --> 01:03:53,788 Good morning, Mr. grizzard. Everything okay? 604 01:03:53,857 --> 01:03:55,988 Fine. 605 01:04:10,191 --> 01:04:13,122 Greetings. Who the hell-- miss abruzzi! 606 01:04:13,191 --> 01:04:16,322 Don't bother with that. I'll just vanish. You'll what? 607 01:04:16,390 --> 01:04:19,522 Vanish... like this. 608 01:04:19,590 --> 01:04:21,588 Hello? 609 01:04:23,090 --> 01:04:25,555 Hi. Wha-- 610 01:04:25,624 --> 01:04:28,855 it's a bit uncomfortable in here. Oh! 611 01:04:33,691 --> 01:04:37,189 Over here! 612 01:04:37,257 --> 01:04:40,088 How did you do that? 613 01:04:40,157 --> 01:04:42,689 Listen. You make toys, right? 614 01:04:42,756 --> 01:04:46,155 Are you, uh... from the federal trade commission? 615 01:04:46,224 --> 01:04:48,422 No. I'm from the north pole. 616 01:04:48,490 --> 01:04:52,122 I've got enough on my mind without having to deal with an escaped lunatic! 617 01:04:52,191 --> 01:04:54,955 How do you know I escaped? What are you? 618 01:04:55,024 --> 01:04:57,555 Isn't it elf-explanatory? How's that? 619 01:04:57,624 --> 01:04:59,555 I'm an elf. An elf? 620 01:04:59,624 --> 01:05:01,822 Yes. You mean, like a fairy? 621 01:05:01,890 --> 01:05:04,388 No, I'm not a fairy. I'm an elf. 622 01:05:04,457 --> 01:05:07,022 But-but... why are you here? 623 01:05:07,090 --> 01:05:09,888 Well, I gather you're a great toy giver. 624 01:05:09,957 --> 01:05:13,022 I'm a great toy maker. We should get together. Why should I do that? 625 01:05:13,090 --> 01:05:16,688 Heaven helps those who help their elf. 626 01:05:16,756 --> 01:05:19,688 But-but-but why me? Because I want to help you. 627 01:05:19,756 --> 01:05:23,754 Why? So Santa claus will appreciate me. 628 01:05:23,824 --> 01:05:27,022 I was right. You are a lunatic. 629 01:05:28,357 --> 01:05:30,855 Don't you believe in Santa claus? 630 01:05:30,924 --> 01:05:34,822 Why should I? He never brought me anything. 631 01:05:34,890 --> 01:05:38,888 That's because you were probably a naughty boy. 632 01:05:38,957 --> 01:05:43,588 Yes... I guess I was no angel. 633 01:05:47,656 --> 01:05:50,988 Well, what did you have in mind, elf? 634 01:05:51,057 --> 01:05:54,622 Just let me use your toy factory. To make what? 635 01:05:54,690 --> 01:05:57,788 Something special. Now, here's the idea. Mm-hmm. 636 01:05:57,857 --> 01:06:01,788 First of all, you stop making all your regular toys. 637 01:06:01,857 --> 01:06:04,888 Well, I'm sure they're fine and dandy, dandy and fine. 638 01:06:04,957 --> 01:06:07,055 But we won't be needing them anymore. 639 01:06:07,124 --> 01:06:09,588 Won't... be... Needing them anymore? 640 01:06:09,656 --> 01:06:12,155 No. Oh, uh, tell me something. 641 01:06:12,224 --> 01:06:15,289 How can I tell all the people about my something special? 642 01:06:15,357 --> 01:06:18,388 Advertise. Advertise? How do I do that? 643 01:06:18,457 --> 01:06:21,555 In my line, television works best. 644 01:06:21,623 --> 01:06:26,289 Oh, I know! Those little picture box thingies? Can we get on those? 645 01:06:26,357 --> 01:06:29,955 With enough money, a horse in a hoop skirt can get on one of those. 646 01:06:30,023 --> 01:06:32,688 Money. I don't know much about that. 647 01:06:32,757 --> 01:06:35,589 Good. Oh. 648 01:06:35,657 --> 01:06:38,472 Let's, um, keep it that way, huh? 649 01:06:38,541 --> 01:06:41,805 Okay, but you'll fix it so I can get on the telly? Yeah. When? 650 01:06:41,873 --> 01:06:43,905 Christmas Eve. How long? 651 01:06:43,973 --> 01:06:45,938 Is a minute all right? What channel? 652 01:06:46,007 --> 01:06:48,738 - Well, all of them. - Which countries? 653 01:06:48,807 --> 01:06:51,771 All of them. All the countries, all the channels. 654 01:06:51,840 --> 01:06:54,539 That would cost a fortune! 655 01:06:56,374 --> 01:07:00,272 If you give extra kisses, you get bigger hugs. 656 01:07:00,341 --> 01:07:04,138 - Sorry? - That's what Santa's wife is always saying. 657 01:07:04,208 --> 01:07:06,971 Anyway... 658 01:07:07,040 --> 01:07:10,138 That's all the advertising you'll ever need. 659 01:07:10,208 --> 01:07:14,605 It better be. How many workers does this... product require? 660 01:07:14,674 --> 01:07:17,339 Just me. Wha-- no payroll? 661 01:07:17,408 --> 01:07:21,339 A bowl of stew, heavy on the dill, a cold place to sleep. 662 01:07:21,408 --> 01:07:23,705 What would it cost? Cost? Cost who? 663 01:07:23,773 --> 01:07:25,705 The people who buy the toy. 664 01:07:25,773 --> 01:07:28,672 Well, nothing. We're going to give them away free. 665 01:07:32,274 --> 01:07:36,605 Oh, that's fantastic! How do you turn your face so red so fast? 666 01:07:36,674 --> 01:07:39,905 - For free? - Well, that's how we do it at the north pole. 667 01:07:40,208 --> 01:07:42,221 Well, that's not how we do it here! 668 01:07:42,290 --> 01:07:45,022 In a free enterprise system-- 669 01:07:46,656 --> 01:07:50,189 on the other hand, this would go a long way... 670 01:07:50,257 --> 01:07:53,122 Towards cleaning up my public image. 671 01:07:53,191 --> 01:07:56,554 Excuse me? That's not a bad investment. 672 01:07:56,623 --> 01:08:00,488 All that good p.R. 673 01:08:02,291 --> 01:08:05,587 I'm intrigued. Excuse me. You're drooling on your tie. 674 01:08:05,656 --> 01:08:08,289 Yes, I know. I said I was intrigued, didn't I? 675 01:08:08,357 --> 01:08:14,122 Now listen, son, what experience do you have in toy manufacture? 676 01:08:14,191 --> 01:08:18,255 Come on. I'm entirely elf-taught. 677 01:08:18,324 --> 01:08:21,388 Uh-huh. What about it, b.Z. 678 01:08:21,457 --> 01:08:23,754 This product of yours-- 679 01:08:23,824 --> 01:08:27,289 this, uh, something special-- 680 01:08:27,357 --> 01:08:30,022 what exactly is it? 681 01:08:31,324 --> 01:08:34,455 It's something that's very easy to make. Uh-huh. 682 01:08:34,523 --> 01:08:36,621 It's cheap. Uh-huh. 683 01:08:36,690 --> 01:08:38,621 It's simple. Uh-huh. 684 01:08:38,690 --> 01:08:41,122 You can turn them out by the thousands. Uh-huh. 685 01:08:41,191 --> 01:08:44,754 And-- yes. And? 686 01:08:44,824 --> 01:08:47,487 It's got a secret ingredient. 687 01:08:51,690 --> 01:08:55,339 Look around you! No strikes, no smelly workers! 688 01:08:55,408 --> 01:08:58,339 No payroll! It's practically paradise! 689 01:08:58,408 --> 01:09:01,471 Still, giving this toy away for free-- that, Dr. towser, 690 01:09:01,540 --> 01:09:06,005 is why I am a captain of industry and you are an insignificant schlepper. 691 01:09:06,074 --> 01:09:08,572 Sure, the first Christmas, it's free. 692 01:09:08,640 --> 01:09:11,538 But the next one, we say, "so you want it again? 693 01:09:11,607 --> 01:09:14,538 Bigger? Better? Well, this time it's gonna cost you!" 694 01:09:14,607 --> 01:09:17,306 How much? I don't know. One hundred, two hundred. 695 01:09:17,374 --> 01:09:21,306 Where will they get that kind of money? What do I care? 696 01:09:21,374 --> 01:09:25,771 Ahh, it's a wonderful thing, cracking your knuckles. 697 01:09:25,840 --> 01:09:29,905 It's the pleasantest sound in the world. What's he building in there? 698 01:09:30,208 --> 01:09:34,021 I'm not sure. He says it's the delivery system. 699 01:09:36,807 --> 01:09:40,072 Yes? We brought the prototypes for, uh... it. 700 01:09:40,140 --> 01:09:43,972 Let me see them. Towser. Towser! 701 01:09:44,041 --> 01:09:47,872 That one. 702 01:09:47,941 --> 01:09:50,738 What color? What color do you like? 703 01:09:50,807 --> 01:09:52,838 I like puce. You would! 704 01:09:52,907 --> 01:09:55,305 What's puce? It's like fuchsia, 705 01:09:55,374 --> 01:09:57,504 but a shade less lavender and a bit more pink. 706 01:09:57,574 --> 01:09:59,638 Sometimes I wonder about you. 707 01:09:59,707 --> 01:10:03,072 Fine. Puce, then. As long as it tastes good. But are you gonna-- 708 01:10:05,523 --> 01:10:08,955 if this catches on, we can come out with a liquid version. 709 01:10:09,023 --> 01:10:12,088 Puce juice. 710 01:10:20,824 --> 01:10:23,455 Oh, my! An elf-portrait. 711 01:10:23,523 --> 01:10:25,621 You haven't made one of those since-- 712 01:10:25,690 --> 01:10:29,888 it's for Joe. He never got a present in his life, 713 01:10:29,957 --> 01:10:32,121 and he's too proud to ask for one. 714 01:10:32,190 --> 01:10:34,221 Mm-hmm. 715 01:10:34,290 --> 01:10:39,055 He makes me think what our son might've been like, Anya. 716 01:10:43,857 --> 01:10:47,488 Why, it's patch! 717 01:10:47,557 --> 01:10:50,387 It's not patch-- 718 01:10:50,457 --> 01:10:53,155 well, I guess it does resemble-- 719 01:10:56,523 --> 01:10:59,055 my good old patch. 720 01:10:59,123 --> 01:11:03,305 I don't know about this. It isn't what the north pole looks like at all. 721 01:11:03,373 --> 01:11:06,571 Look, b.Z. Knows what he's doing. He knows how to grab the people. 722 01:11:06,640 --> 01:11:09,938 This isn't real. The public doesn't want reality. They want the dream. 723 01:11:10,007 --> 01:11:13,971 Patch! Match! Patch! Match! 724 01:11:14,041 --> 01:11:15,971 ? Someone new has come to town ? 725 01:11:16,041 --> 01:11:19,638 Patch! Patch! From the old north pole where the elves make toys, 726 01:11:19,707 --> 01:11:22,755 here's a Christmas treat for you girls and boys. 727 01:11:23,191 --> 01:11:26,721 Oh, my name's patch. As you can tell, 728 01:11:26,790 --> 01:11:30,371 I'm an elf myself, so let's give a yell. 729 01:11:30,440 --> 01:11:32,854 Patch! 730 01:11:32,923 --> 01:11:35,655 Well, the patch-work present comes from me. 731 01:11:35,723 --> 01:11:38,121 You'll find it under the Christmas tree. 732 01:11:38,190 --> 01:11:42,488 And best of all, you will agree, is that it's absolutely free. 733 01:11:42,556 --> 01:11:46,288 Cornelia, your step-Uncle has just dropped by for a minute. 734 01:11:46,356 --> 01:11:49,488 Go in and wish him a merry Christmas. 735 01:11:53,706 --> 01:11:56,039 Come in. 736 01:11:59,706 --> 01:12:01,671 Merry Christmas, Uncle. 737 01:12:01,740 --> 01:12:05,938 It certainly should be. 738 01:12:06,007 --> 01:12:08,304 A little puce candy. 739 01:12:10,074 --> 01:12:12,438 This special broadcast... 740 01:12:12,507 --> 01:12:15,205 Is brought to you by b.Z. Toys. 741 01:12:15,273 --> 01:12:18,139 - At least he's all right. - What are you going to do? 742 01:12:18,207 --> 01:12:20,304 It's Christmas Eve, isn't it? 743 01:12:20,373 --> 01:12:24,571 I'm gonna do my job... The way I always do. 744 01:12:24,640 --> 01:12:28,105 Merry Christmas from b.Z. Toys! 745 01:12:38,024 --> 01:12:41,156 - Where is it? - Up there, sir. 746 01:13:08,807 --> 01:13:10,938 That's the stuff I told you about. 747 01:13:11,007 --> 01:13:13,471 Yes, it's terrific. Well done, b.Z.! 748 01:13:51,273 --> 01:13:54,155 Knock 'em dead, kid! Knock 'em dead! 749 01:13:57,473 --> 01:14:01,955 Come on, patch! Give it all you got, kid! 750 01:14:17,907 --> 01:14:20,738 Yaaaaa-hoo! 751 01:14:20,807 --> 01:14:23,938 Oh! Oh. 752 01:14:56,557 --> 01:14:58,921 Santa! 753 01:14:58,990 --> 01:15:01,555 At least somebody down there likes me. 754 01:15:12,524 --> 01:15:14,888 Easy, boys. Easy, now. 755 01:15:14,957 --> 01:15:16,955 Easy, boys. 756 01:15:18,490 --> 01:15:20,655 Whoa! 757 01:15:26,390 --> 01:15:29,488 - Hello, Joe. - Hey, how's it goin'? 758 01:15:30,991 --> 01:15:33,655 Not bad. Yourself? 759 01:15:35,156 --> 01:15:40,022 I'm okay, I guess. I was afraid you'd forget about me. 760 01:15:46,857 --> 01:15:49,788 Well... 761 01:15:49,857 --> 01:15:53,104 At least I've got one good friend left. 762 01:15:53,172 --> 01:15:57,555 Are you kidding? I'm your pal for life! Honest! 763 01:15:57,624 --> 01:16:01,321 Oh, hey, there was this weird guy on television. Some patch-- 764 01:16:01,524 --> 01:16:04,271 I know about that. That's all right. 765 01:16:04,339 --> 01:16:06,905 Then it's cool, then? Yeah. 766 01:16:06,973 --> 01:16:10,104 Hiya, blitzen. Hey, donner, how's it goin', man? 767 01:16:12,323 --> 01:16:17,504 - Hey, comet! 768 01:16:17,807 --> 01:16:20,805 - All right. - Coming? 769 01:16:20,874 --> 01:16:24,070 Neat! 770 01:16:25,473 --> 01:16:28,304 Oh! I almost forgot. 771 01:16:35,106 --> 01:16:38,288 - For me? - For you. 772 01:16:38,490 --> 01:16:40,855 A present? 773 01:16:44,740 --> 01:16:48,321 Aw, gee, thanks! Excellent! 774 01:16:48,390 --> 01:16:52,538 Did corny get something? The, um, little girl. 775 01:16:52,607 --> 01:16:56,455 Oh! Are you seeing a lot of each other? 776 01:16:56,523 --> 01:16:59,921 Actually, yes. Actually. 777 01:17:00,357 --> 01:17:03,221 Well, of course she's gonna get a present. She writes a nice letter. 778 01:17:03,290 --> 01:17:06,021 She asked for a toy piano. 779 01:17:07,457 --> 01:17:11,154 Well, come on. Huh? 780 01:17:11,223 --> 01:17:14,654 What about the, uh, "yo"? 781 01:17:14,723 --> 01:17:17,371 Oh, right. Yo! 782 01:17:17,440 --> 01:17:19,904 All right, donner! All right, blitzen! 783 01:17:19,972 --> 01:17:22,003 All right, everybody! Ho-ho-ho! 784 01:17:22,072 --> 01:17:25,104 Here we go! Ha-ha-ha! 785 01:17:25,172 --> 01:17:27,605 Ho-ho-ho! 786 01:17:36,640 --> 01:17:38,555 Don't you want to try it? 787 01:17:38,623 --> 01:17:40,722 I certainly do not. 788 01:17:40,790 --> 01:17:45,020 Well, it would be a shame to let it go to waste. 789 01:17:45,089 --> 01:17:48,338 Do you mind if I take it? I don't care. 790 01:17:48,406 --> 01:17:51,771 Mmm! 791 01:17:51,840 --> 01:17:54,438 Mmm! 792 01:17:54,506 --> 01:17:57,504 Ohhh! 793 01:17:57,573 --> 01:18:01,705 Oh, look at me! I feel just like Mary poppins! 794 01:18:05,707 --> 01:18:08,338 Okay, man, come on. Do your worst, huh? 795 01:18:08,406 --> 01:18:11,771 Come on. You can't get past me, sucker. Come on! Come on! 796 01:18:11,840 --> 01:18:14,054 Oh, yeah, you can't get past me. 797 01:18:14,122 --> 01:18:17,355 Kid, come on, give me that ball! Hey, what you doin'? 798 01:18:17,423 --> 01:18:19,237 Hey! 799 01:18:19,306 --> 01:18:22,838 Wow! I don't believe it! 800 01:18:23,139 --> 01:18:26,355 You're cute. 801 01:18:44,773 --> 01:18:48,021 Here he is, ladies and gentlemen. 802 01:18:48,090 --> 01:18:49,937 The man of the hour. Ask him anything. 803 01:18:50,006 --> 01:18:52,654 Tell us how you make it. Can you, please? 804 01:18:52,990 --> 01:18:54,705 What's in the lollipops, Mr. patch? 805 01:18:54,773 --> 01:18:57,920 Well, it's-- all natural ingredients. 806 01:18:57,989 --> 01:19:01,488 - No additives whatsoever. - Who did your outfit? 807 01:19:01,556 --> 01:19:04,920 Uh, goober, actually. He's head of the sewing department. 808 01:19:04,990 --> 01:19:07,455 Mr. patch, has the space agency contacted you yet? 809 01:19:07,523 --> 01:19:09,971 Who? The astronauts. 810 01:19:10,039 --> 01:19:12,988 Oh. No, they'll have to write to Santa claus... 811 01:19:13,056 --> 01:19:15,321 Just like the other boys and girls. 812 01:19:15,390 --> 01:19:18,554 Uh, what we want-- what we want... 813 01:19:18,623 --> 01:19:21,920 Is to bring joy and happiness... 814 01:19:21,990 --> 01:19:24,970 To all the little children of this world. 815 01:19:25,039 --> 01:19:27,638 And that's why I'm proud to announce... 816 01:19:27,707 --> 01:19:31,754 That, beginning today, my pal patch here... 817 01:19:31,822 --> 01:19:34,605 Is exclusive with b.Z. Toys! 818 01:19:34,673 --> 01:19:38,104 What about the fact that the senate subcommittee on toy safety... 819 01:19:38,172 --> 01:19:41,870 Cited this company with 15 separate-- 820 01:19:41,939 --> 01:19:44,538 no more questions! 821 01:19:44,607 --> 01:19:46,920 No more questions. No more questions. 822 01:19:46,990 --> 01:19:49,754 What's this about the senate subcommittee? Just typical newspaper garbage. 823 01:19:49,822 --> 01:19:53,321 Don't take it seriously. And what was that business about our future plans? 824 01:19:53,390 --> 01:19:56,254 The future is ours, patch. 825 01:19:56,323 --> 01:19:59,654 But I'm going back to the north pole. Says who? 826 01:19:59,990 --> 01:20:03,438 Well, nobody yet. But now Santa claus has seen what I can do. 827 01:20:03,506 --> 01:20:05,738 I'm sure he's gonna send for me to come home. 828 01:20:05,805 --> 01:20:09,937 Why would you want to do that? What does the north pole have that New York doesn't? 829 01:20:10,005 --> 01:20:12,837 Ice and polar bears-- 830 01:20:13,273 --> 01:20:15,920 and Santa claus and my friends. 831 01:20:16,357 --> 01:20:19,088 All right, all right. I'll tell you what. 832 01:20:19,156 --> 01:20:22,787 Just do me one favor before you go. 833 01:20:22,856 --> 01:20:26,237 - No, I can't. I've gotta go back. - No, no, no, no. 834 01:20:26,306 --> 01:20:30,071 Not for me. For them, patch. 835 01:20:31,873 --> 01:20:34,921 - Well, who? - Am I right? 836 01:20:36,323 --> 01:20:39,254 Something... 837 01:20:39,323 --> 01:20:42,654 Something for them. 838 01:20:42,723 --> 01:20:45,387 Something for all the children... 839 01:20:45,456 --> 01:20:48,921 Of this miserable old world. 840 01:20:51,123 --> 01:20:54,121 So how about it? Will you do it? 841 01:20:54,190 --> 01:20:58,487 What is it? This stardust-- this reindeer cornflakes-- 842 01:20:58,556 --> 01:21:01,621 whatever it is that made the children walk on air-- 843 01:21:01,690 --> 01:21:05,621 wh-wh-what would happen if you were to juice up the formula a bit? 844 01:21:05,690 --> 01:21:07,621 Just make it stronger? 845 01:21:07,690 --> 01:21:10,921 Well, it's elf-explanatory. I mean, it would make them fly. 846 01:21:10,989 --> 01:21:13,987 Yeah, fly. Fly? Fly? Fly? 847 01:21:14,056 --> 01:21:18,954 You mean, like, fly? Like fly high in the sky. 848 01:21:19,023 --> 01:21:23,054 And could you do that before you go? Yes, but I-- 849 01:21:23,123 --> 01:21:27,054 patch. It wouldn't take you long, would it? 850 01:21:27,123 --> 01:21:29,787 Lollipops? No, no! 851 01:21:29,856 --> 01:21:32,887 No, we did that already. That's yesterday's news. 852 01:21:32,956 --> 01:21:35,487 The consumer needs a new model. 853 01:21:35,556 --> 01:21:38,921 Well... candy canes? 854 01:21:40,323 --> 01:21:43,254 Candy canes. Mm-hmm. 855 01:21:43,323 --> 01:21:47,655 Of course. Patch! You are some terrific elf! 856 01:21:47,722 --> 01:21:51,687 I mean, I could convert the-- I could convert the machines... 857 01:21:51,755 --> 01:21:54,238 To do candy canes, and in a week or two, and then I suppose-- 858 01:21:54,307 --> 01:21:57,621 we can launch the ad campaign tomorrow. Strike while the iron is hot! 859 01:21:57,689 --> 01:22:00,971 I can promise delivery in, say, three months. 860 01:22:01,040 --> 01:22:03,138 Three months? But it's a year to Christmas. 861 01:22:03,440 --> 01:22:05,454 When you've got a hit like we have, patch, 862 01:22:05,523 --> 01:22:09,853 the people don't want to wait a whole year; They're dying for a sequel! 863 01:22:09,922 --> 01:22:13,521 A sequel. That's it. 864 01:22:13,590 --> 01:22:16,421 We'll bring it out on march 25, 865 01:22:16,490 --> 01:22:18,920 and we'll call it... 866 01:22:21,755 --> 01:22:24,221 Christmas ii! 867 01:22:25,473 --> 01:22:27,405 Christmas ii? 868 01:22:27,473 --> 01:22:31,104 Maybe the whole idea is no good anymore. 869 01:22:31,173 --> 01:22:35,004 What are you talking about? What idea? 870 01:22:37,040 --> 01:22:39,637 Christmas. 871 01:22:39,705 --> 01:22:42,305 Claus! 872 01:22:44,373 --> 01:22:48,004 The world is a different place now, Anya. 873 01:22:48,073 --> 01:22:50,438 You don't see it. 874 01:22:50,506 --> 01:22:53,504 The people don't seem to care... 875 01:22:53,573 --> 01:22:56,837 About giving a gift... 876 01:22:56,906 --> 01:23:01,837 Just so they can see the light of happiness in a friend's eyes. 877 01:23:01,906 --> 01:23:04,004 Just-- 878 01:23:04,073 --> 01:23:07,837 just doesn't feel like Christmas anymore. 879 01:23:10,506 --> 01:23:16,371 Maybe this fellow b.Z. Is smarter than I am. 880 01:23:18,973 --> 01:23:20,971 Maybe I'm-- 881 01:23:23,006 --> 01:23:26,471 maybe I'm just an old fool. 882 01:24:06,722 --> 01:24:08,921 Hi. 883 01:24:08,989 --> 01:24:11,887 Hi. Come up, quick. 884 01:25:08,006 --> 01:25:10,938 You're burning up! I'll be all right. 885 01:25:11,006 --> 01:25:14,405 You stay out there, and you'll be dead is what you'll be. 886 01:25:15,906 --> 01:25:18,305 You're staying here! 887 01:25:18,373 --> 01:25:21,703 I'm what? There's an empty room in the basement. 888 01:25:21,772 --> 01:25:24,438 Nobody ever goes down there. 889 01:25:26,340 --> 01:25:29,438 Oh, please, Joe. Just till you get better. 890 01:25:30,906 --> 01:25:34,637 Well... all right. 891 01:25:34,705 --> 01:25:37,570 But just till I shake this. 892 01:26:01,340 --> 01:26:04,603 It's, uh, a new doll. 893 01:26:07,206 --> 01:26:09,637 A doll. 894 01:26:09,705 --> 01:26:12,971 Children ought to like it. 895 01:26:13,040 --> 01:26:15,804 Does it fly? 896 01:26:15,872 --> 01:26:19,938 It, uh... wets. 897 01:26:49,140 --> 01:26:52,238 Towser! Good lord, man! 3:00 in the morning! 898 01:26:52,307 --> 01:26:55,703 Haven't you ever heard of the telephone? I couldn't use the phone. 899 01:26:55,772 --> 01:27:00,470 It's perfectly easy, towser. You just pick up the receiver and dial all the little numbers. 900 01:27:00,539 --> 01:27:02,637 I didn't dare use the phone, b.Z. 901 01:27:02,705 --> 01:27:05,637 I couldn't take the chance of anyone hearing. Hearing what? 902 01:27:05,705 --> 01:27:07,804 Shhh! Hearing what? 903 01:27:07,872 --> 01:27:11,837 Are we alone? My niece and her nanny are fast asleep. 904 01:27:11,906 --> 01:27:15,004 All right. Good. Come on. Come on. 905 01:27:15,073 --> 01:27:17,071 Here. 906 01:27:21,973 --> 01:27:25,004 Ninety-nine. You still have a temperature. 907 01:27:25,073 --> 01:27:27,938 Four dopey points! Big deal! 908 01:27:28,006 --> 01:27:31,138 More liquids. That's what you need. More vitamin c. 909 01:27:31,206 --> 01:27:34,087 Come on. Let's go get some orange juice. 910 01:27:39,372 --> 01:27:43,938 Oh, towser, with you it's always some new melodrama. 911 01:27:44,006 --> 01:27:48,120 Well, let me tell you, my friend, tonight, nothing can upset me. 912 01:27:48,190 --> 01:27:52,453 The money's coming in so fast, you'd think we were printing it ourselves! 913 01:27:52,522 --> 01:27:54,637 But, but, b.Z.-- 914 01:27:54,706 --> 01:27:57,304 do you realize what this means, man? 915 01:27:57,372 --> 01:28:00,637 Santa claus is finished! 916 01:28:02,973 --> 01:28:06,620 I'm taking over Christmas. By next December, 917 01:28:06,689 --> 01:28:09,188 they'll be writing to me! 918 01:28:09,256 --> 01:28:12,387 B.Z. 919 01:28:18,190 --> 01:28:22,087 What the hell-- 920 01:28:24,955 --> 01:28:28,221 towser, take that way! Oh! Oh! 921 01:28:33,589 --> 01:28:36,504 Come on with me, young man! Let me go! 922 01:28:36,572 --> 01:28:41,171 How did you get in here? Who are you, anyway? Let me go! 923 01:28:43,140 --> 01:28:46,621 Towser! Towser! 924 01:28:46,689 --> 01:28:49,621 - You little brat! - Who is this kid? 925 01:28:49,689 --> 01:28:53,254 - Some damned little sneak! - I heard what you said! 926 01:28:53,322 --> 01:28:55,954 You ain't never gonna beat Santa claus! Never! 927 01:28:56,023 --> 01:28:59,987 I'll tell him, and he'll beat you! Park this kid on ice! 928 01:29:00,190 --> 01:29:04,354 I'll deal with him later. 929 01:29:13,206 --> 01:29:15,370 Shut up! 930 01:29:23,806 --> 01:29:25,621 B.Z., we've got to talk. 931 01:29:25,689 --> 01:29:29,454 Have you ever had one of those nights when you just want to drop a bomb? 932 01:29:29,523 --> 01:29:32,920 Some damn kid in my basement, you waltzing into the house in the middle of the night-- 933 01:29:32,989 --> 01:29:35,721 by the way, towser, what the hell did you want, anyway? 934 01:29:36,056 --> 01:29:39,237 It's the candy canes. They're dangerous. What about 'em? 935 01:29:39,305 --> 01:29:42,155 What the hell are you talking about? This patch guy-- 936 01:29:42,222 --> 01:29:45,121 he told me he keeps that secret ingredient in cold storage... 937 01:29:45,190 --> 01:29:48,155 Because it comes from the north pole. Uh-huh. 938 01:29:48,222 --> 01:29:50,270 So we started manufacturing the candy canes. Uh-huh. 939 01:29:50,338 --> 01:29:52,737 - It's a very powerful mixture, you know? - Uh-huh. 940 01:29:52,806 --> 01:29:56,771 So I just assumed I should refrigerate them too. Get on with your story! 941 01:29:56,839 --> 01:30:00,404 Stop giving me all these short sentences and making me go "uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh".. 942 01:30:00,472 --> 01:30:03,104 Like some kind of a moron! Uh-huh. 943 01:30:03,406 --> 01:30:07,320 I had to move one of the batches of candy canes to another part of the factory. 944 01:30:07,389 --> 01:30:09,621 I left a box next to a radiator in the lab. 945 01:30:09,689 --> 01:30:12,454 - And? - There's no more lab. 946 01:30:12,656 --> 01:30:15,453 The candy canes exploded! 947 01:30:15,523 --> 01:30:18,420 They react to extreme heat and turn volatile. 948 01:30:18,489 --> 01:30:22,521 We've got to stop this. Stop? Are you insane? 949 01:30:24,288 --> 01:30:27,921 We've got millions of dollars pouring in every day, most of it in cash. 950 01:30:27,990 --> 01:30:33,721 Cash, man! Small, unmarked bills. 951 01:30:33,789 --> 01:30:36,587 B.Z., this stuff can kill people. 952 01:30:36,656 --> 01:30:39,320 Are you going soft on me? No, I'm not going-- 953 01:30:39,389 --> 01:30:42,537 listen, you idiot. Who else knows about this? 954 01:30:42,606 --> 01:30:44,837 Nobody. What about patch? 955 01:30:44,906 --> 01:30:47,804 He was asleep. He didn't hear anything. 956 01:30:47,873 --> 01:30:50,270 Don't tell him. 957 01:30:50,338 --> 01:30:53,904 Don't tell anybody. 958 01:30:53,972 --> 01:30:57,804 B.Z., these are children we're talking about. 959 01:30:57,873 --> 01:31:03,470 Yes. And who appreciates them better than I? 960 01:31:03,539 --> 01:31:08,153 These... industrious little boys and girls... 961 01:31:08,222 --> 01:31:11,821 Saving all their nickels and dimes... 962 01:31:11,890 --> 01:31:15,754 To get the magic candy canes I promised them. 963 01:31:15,823 --> 01:31:18,888 They'll get what they paid for. 964 01:31:18,956 --> 01:31:22,888 If these people are so reckless as to have radiators in their houses-- 965 01:31:22,956 --> 01:31:25,021 reckless? Towser, 966 01:31:25,089 --> 01:31:27,420 how does Brazil sound to you? 967 01:31:27,489 --> 01:31:29,420 Brazil? Brazil. 968 01:31:29,489 --> 01:31:33,353 Sandy beaches, tropical breezes, 969 01:31:33,422 --> 01:31:37,353 big rum drinks with pineapple in them, 970 01:31:37,422 --> 01:31:41,253 senoritas in string bikinis, 971 01:31:41,322 --> 01:31:46,387 and-- oh, yes-- no extradition proceedings. 972 01:31:46,455 --> 01:31:49,654 You mean-- you and me, Eric. 973 01:31:49,723 --> 01:31:52,253 We'll take the cash... 974 01:31:52,322 --> 01:31:55,587 And let the elf face the music. 975 01:32:19,805 --> 01:32:22,921 Listen, kid. You wanna die on me when I'm gone? 976 01:32:22,989 --> 01:32:25,687 Be my guest. 977 01:32:27,689 --> 01:32:31,320 Dear Santa, you've gotta help. 978 01:32:31,388 --> 01:32:34,070 Joe's been taken prisoner by a very bad man. 979 01:32:34,138 --> 01:32:36,637 I'm sorry to say he's a relation of mine. 980 01:32:36,706 --> 01:32:40,303 Cornelia, what are you doing? You're ten minutes late for breakfast. 981 01:32:40,372 --> 01:32:42,370 I'm coming. 982 01:32:59,873 --> 01:33:04,270 Just what I thought. 983 01:33:06,138 --> 01:33:11,604 I think we should prepare the first shipments of pine wood as early as April this time. 984 01:33:11,673 --> 01:33:14,370 Don't you agree, Santa? 985 01:33:17,372 --> 01:33:20,136 What's this? 986 01:33:20,205 --> 01:33:22,403 Looks like a letter. In January? 987 01:33:22,472 --> 01:33:25,771 A bit early for next Christmas, isn't it? 988 01:33:25,839 --> 01:33:28,804 It's familiar writing. 989 01:33:34,756 --> 01:33:37,921 - Saddle up the reindeer! - But it's only two weeks since they've been out. 990 01:33:37,988 --> 01:33:40,103 This can't wait. 991 01:33:40,172 --> 01:33:42,904 Ah! Just the elves I want to see. Hitch up the reindeer. 992 01:33:42,971 --> 01:33:45,969 We're flying out at 1900 hours! That's what we came to tell you. 993 01:33:46,038 --> 01:33:48,204 It's comet and cupid. What about them? 994 01:33:48,272 --> 01:33:51,237 - They've got flu. 995 01:33:51,306 --> 01:33:55,270 This would have to happen now. Well, I'll have to make do with six. 996 01:33:55,339 --> 01:33:57,370 Get them ready. Feed them. 997 01:33:57,439 --> 01:33:59,754 Little Joe needs me. 998 01:34:01,656 --> 01:34:04,420 But, boys... 999 01:34:04,489 --> 01:34:08,554 We have got ourselves one heck of a problem here. 1000 01:34:08,622 --> 01:34:11,854 Our little friend Joe is in trouble. 1001 01:34:11,923 --> 01:34:16,420 If we don't help him, I don't even like to think of what can happen. 1002 01:34:21,355 --> 01:34:24,103 Now, listen. 1003 01:34:24,172 --> 01:34:26,936 I know we're two men short today. 1004 01:34:27,005 --> 01:34:29,437 But this time... 1005 01:34:29,506 --> 01:34:31,704 You've got to fly like the wind. 1006 01:34:31,772 --> 01:34:35,370 Can you do it for me? 1007 01:34:35,439 --> 01:34:37,936 Can you do it for little Joe? 1008 01:34:43,772 --> 01:34:46,237 Sure you can! 1009 01:34:51,155 --> 01:34:53,119 - All right, men. 1010 01:34:53,456 --> 01:34:57,370 Give me that extra effort. I'm counting on you. 1011 01:34:57,439 --> 01:34:59,437 Yo! 1012 01:35:01,739 --> 01:35:06,821 Come on, blitzen! Come on! 1013 01:35:47,372 --> 01:35:50,136 My gosh! What are you doing down here? 1014 01:35:50,205 --> 01:35:53,336 As if you didn't know! 1015 01:35:53,405 --> 01:35:55,303 Me? Yeah, you! 1016 01:35:55,372 --> 01:35:58,870 You ruined Christmas! But I never did. What are you talking about? 1017 01:35:58,939 --> 01:36:02,103 He said that kids didn't like him no more! You don't even know Santa claus. 1018 01:36:02,172 --> 01:36:04,103 Do so! Do not! 1019 01:36:04,172 --> 01:36:06,537 He said I was his only friend left, you dumb punk! 1020 01:36:06,606 --> 01:36:11,870 But I-- I was just-- I just wanted him to see what a good assistant I could be. 1021 01:36:11,939 --> 01:36:15,604 He's seen what you are. You're a dumb, stupid idiot, 1022 01:36:15,673 --> 01:36:18,470 stink-face creep who made the kids hate the best guy ever! 1023 01:36:18,539 --> 01:36:21,336 Hey, what is this? Give me that! It's mine! 1024 01:36:21,405 --> 01:36:23,803 Where did you get it? He gave it to me. 1025 01:36:23,872 --> 01:36:26,803 See, I told you I was his best friend. 1026 01:36:26,872 --> 01:36:31,136 My elf-portrait. He does like me after all. 1027 01:36:31,573 --> 01:36:33,704 Huh? Come on, kid. 1028 01:36:33,772 --> 01:36:36,903 Where are we going? We're going to the north pole. 1029 01:36:36,971 --> 01:36:41,253 We'll both go. And for once, we'll bring Santa claus a present. 1030 01:36:44,589 --> 01:36:46,620 It's you! Thank heavens! 1031 01:36:46,689 --> 01:36:48,620 How is he? I don't know. 1032 01:36:48,689 --> 01:36:51,819 Where is he? My step-Uncle's got him. Those candy canes-- 1033 01:36:51,888 --> 01:36:54,320 shhh. Tell me on the way. 1034 01:36:58,205 --> 01:37:01,636 They exploded? That's what they said. When they got hot. 1035 01:37:01,705 --> 01:37:04,470 I called the police, but I don't think they believed me. 1036 01:37:04,538 --> 01:37:08,069 We've got to hurry. Come on, boys! 1037 01:37:08,138 --> 01:37:12,303 Enough here to take care of all next year's Christmas orders. Santa claus can take a year off. 1038 01:37:12,372 --> 01:37:14,769 His first vacation. Won't that be great? Yeah, neat. 1039 01:37:14,838 --> 01:37:18,869 Oh, wow! Yeah, good, huh? 1040 01:37:18,938 --> 01:37:21,637 - Ahhh! - Put your seat belt on. 1041 01:37:31,855 --> 01:37:35,020 Hey, this is neat! Yeah. 1042 01:37:38,022 --> 01:37:41,270 It's them! Both of them! Oh, no! 1043 01:37:41,339 --> 01:37:45,036 What is it? Look. The candy canes! They're in the car with 'em. 1044 01:37:45,105 --> 01:37:47,736 Patch doesn't know they explode. 1045 01:37:47,804 --> 01:37:51,036 Fly, boys! Fly like the wind! 1046 01:37:51,105 --> 01:37:54,237 Fly like you've never flown before! Come on! 1047 01:38:02,322 --> 01:38:04,337 Okay, we know you're up there. 1048 01:38:04,405 --> 01:38:07,136 Now, come on down with your hands held high! 1049 01:38:07,205 --> 01:38:10,802 Unit 71, are you 10-4? 1050 01:38:13,071 --> 01:38:17,303 Let's go. 1051 01:38:27,038 --> 01:38:29,136 Open up! Police! 1052 01:38:29,205 --> 01:38:33,253 - We know you're in there! - We'll kick the door! 1053 01:38:33,322 --> 01:38:37,320 - We're comin' in! Hold it! 1054 01:38:40,438 --> 01:38:43,237 Whoa. Whoa! 1055 01:38:43,305 --> 01:38:47,070 Whooooaaaaah! 1056 01:38:47,372 --> 01:38:49,621 What the-- 1057 01:38:49,688 --> 01:38:53,603 oh, this is neat! 1058 01:38:53,671 --> 01:38:58,070 I can do anything with this car I want. Watch. 1059 01:39:16,955 --> 01:39:20,120 - Fly, boys! - Can't they go any faster? 1060 01:39:20,189 --> 01:39:24,053 They usually get a year's rest. They're doing their best. 1061 01:39:24,122 --> 01:39:26,853 Fly! Come on, boys! 1062 01:39:42,155 --> 01:39:44,304 Oh, wow! 1063 01:39:45,688 --> 01:39:47,853 Ohhh! 1064 01:39:53,822 --> 01:39:55,953 Come on! That's it, boys! 1065 01:39:56,021 --> 01:39:58,270 Come on, now! Come on! 1066 01:39:59,772 --> 01:40:02,571 That's the way. That's the way. Come on. 1067 01:40:02,638 --> 01:40:05,937 That's my good boys. Come on! 1068 01:40:15,405 --> 01:40:17,503 Yippee! 1069 01:40:19,539 --> 01:40:22,736 Oh, my gosh! 1070 01:40:22,805 --> 01:40:25,020 Joe! Joe! 1071 01:40:25,088 --> 01:40:28,253 Come on, boys! That's patch in there! 1072 01:40:28,322 --> 01:40:32,187 If you love him like he loves you, give it all you got! 1073 01:40:32,255 --> 01:40:34,453 Come on! Come on! 1074 01:40:34,522 --> 01:40:37,520 Come on, blitzen! Come on, donner! 1075 01:40:40,939 --> 01:40:43,303 Can we go higher? Of course, Joe. 1076 01:40:49,072 --> 01:40:51,304 Something's happening! Patch! Oh, no! 1077 01:40:59,805 --> 01:41:04,703 Do something! The super-dooper looper. It's the only way. 1078 01:41:04,771 --> 01:41:07,103 Come on, donner! You can do it! 1079 01:41:07,172 --> 01:41:10,070 I know you can do it! Come on! Faster! 1080 01:41:10,138 --> 01:41:12,736 Come on! Faster! 1081 01:41:12,805 --> 01:41:16,270 What's going on? 1082 01:41:16,572 --> 01:41:19,736 Here we go! Hang on! Here we go! 1083 01:41:23,005 --> 01:41:26,836 Give it all you got! Come on, now! Come on! 1084 01:41:30,138 --> 01:41:32,204 Hah! Hah! 1085 01:41:32,272 --> 01:41:35,585 Come on, donner! Come on! You can do it! 1086 01:41:35,654 --> 01:41:37,769 Santa! It's Santa! 1087 01:41:37,838 --> 01:41:40,420 Santa! Aah! 1088 01:41:42,988 --> 01:41:45,853 All right! 1089 01:41:48,022 --> 01:41:50,386 Santa! 1090 01:41:50,456 --> 01:41:53,502 Dash it away, donner! Dash it away! 1091 01:41:56,555 --> 01:41:58,603 Joe! 1092 01:42:10,222 --> 01:42:13,452 Oh! Oh, my boys! 1093 01:42:13,521 --> 01:42:17,770 I've seen some reindeer in my time, but you're the best, the best! 1094 01:42:17,838 --> 01:42:20,953 We did it! We did it! Ha-ha-ha! 1095 01:42:21,021 --> 01:42:23,603 Well done, donner! 1096 01:42:25,705 --> 01:42:28,536 Way to go, donner! 1097 01:42:28,605 --> 01:42:31,570 Patch, this is corny. Corny, meet patch. 1098 01:42:31,638 --> 01:42:34,886 Hi, corny. Nice to meet you, patch. 1099 01:42:41,772 --> 01:42:43,836 Yeah. 1100 01:42:49,205 --> 01:42:51,204 What about corny? 1101 01:42:55,406 --> 01:42:59,803 Can I stay? Just till next Christmas. Please? 1102 01:42:59,871 --> 01:43:04,036 And you can give her a lift home next year. 1103 01:43:04,105 --> 01:43:06,803 Well, dooley? As if I don't have enough to do. 1104 01:43:06,871 --> 01:43:09,103 Now I'm going to have to be a school teacher. 1105 01:43:09,172 --> 01:43:11,703 School? School? 1106 01:43:53,105 --> 01:43:56,536 Hey! What's going on? 1107 01:43:56,605 --> 01:43:59,736 Let-- let me down! 1108 01:44:08,755 --> 01:44:14,535 ? It's Christmas ? 1109 01:44:14,604 --> 01:44:20,886 ? all over the world tonight ? 1110 01:44:24,387 --> 01:44:30,070 ? it's Christmas ? 1111 01:44:30,138 --> 01:44:35,253 ? all over the world ? 1112 01:44:47,022 --> 01:44:50,020 ? all my life ? 1113 01:44:50,089 --> 01:44:53,686 ? I learned if I was good ? 1114 01:44:53,755 --> 01:44:57,820 ? did everything I should ? 1115 01:44:57,888 --> 01:45:02,486 ? that dreams would all come true ? 1116 01:45:02,554 --> 01:45:05,519 ? I can see ? 1117 01:45:05,588 --> 01:45:09,220 ? a special time when we ? 1118 01:45:09,287 --> 01:45:13,020 ? join hands around one tree ? 1119 01:45:13,089 --> 01:45:18,920 ? and make Christmas last forever ? 1120 01:45:18,989 --> 01:45:24,385 ? when Santa's flying in his magic sleigh ? 1121 01:45:26,688 --> 01:45:31,820 ? goes all around the world in just a day ? 1122 01:45:34,321 --> 01:45:38,620 ? from the north pole to the Southern tip ? 1123 01:45:38,688 --> 01:45:45,087 ? he makes his trip with love to give away ? 1124 01:45:45,155 --> 01:45:49,620 ? in his sleigh ? 1125 01:45:49,688 --> 01:45:55,419 ? it's Christmas ? 1126 01:45:55,488 --> 01:46:00,753 ? all over the world tonight ? 1127 01:46:00,822 --> 01:46:05,087 ? all over the world ? 1128 01:46:05,155 --> 01:46:10,919 ? it's Christmas ? 1129 01:46:10,988 --> 01:46:16,286 ? all over the world ? 1130 01:46:20,555 --> 01:46:26,187 ? it's Christmas ? 1131 01:46:26,255 --> 01:46:31,786 ? all over the world tonight ? 1132 01:46:31,855 --> 01:46:35,853 ? all over the world ? 1133 01:46:35,921 --> 01:46:41,520 ? it's Christmas ? 1134 01:46:41,588 --> 01:46:47,053 ? all over the world ? 1135 01:46:51,388 --> 01:46:56,886 ? it's Christmas ? 1136 01:46:56,955 --> 01:47:02,286 ? all over the world tonight ? 1137 01:47:02,355 --> 01:47:06,553 ? all over the world ? 1138 01:47:06,622 --> 01:47:11,486 ? it's Christmas ? 1139 01:47:12,721 --> 01:47:16,753 ? all over the world ? 1140 01:47:22,038 --> 01:47:27,569 ? it's Christmas ? 1141 01:47:27,638 --> 01:47:32,669 ? all over the world tonight ? 1142 01:47:32,738 --> 01:47:37,603 ? all over the world ? 1143 01:47:37,671 --> 01:47:42,969 ? it's Christmas ? 1144 01:47:43,038 --> 01:47:47,736 ? all over the world ? 1145 01:47:52,605 --> 01:47:58,236 ? it's Christmas ? 1146 01:47:58,304 --> 01:48:02,969 ? all over the world tonight ? 1147 01:48:03,038 --> 01:48:07,969 ? all over the world ? 1148 01:48:08,038 --> 01:48:13,436 ? it's Christmas ? 1149 01:48:13,504 --> 01:48:17,302 ? all over the world ? 1 00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:15,060 �yi geceler. 2 00:03:15,101 --> 00:03:17,075 �yi haftasonlar�, Mr. Collins 3 00:03:17,495 --> 00:03:19,330 Sizede, sevgili Perkins. 4 00:03:24,277 --> 00:03:26,777 �yi gecelert, Mr. Collins, iyi haftasonlar�. 5 00:03:26,812 --> 00:03:29,093 �yi haftasonlar�, Mr. Charmers. 6 00:03:40,184 --> 00:03:42,339 Check everything in good order. 7 00:03:42,770 --> 00:03:46,522 Return subject of experiment to morgue. 8 00:04:00,496 --> 00:04:02,835 Cheese to the mice. 9 00:04:20,597 --> 00:04:24,408 Umbrella, briefcase. 10 00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:48,876 Electricity off. 11 00:04:52,796 --> 00:04:56,058 Goodnight. Have a nice weekend. 12 00:10:48,602 --> 00:10:51,690 Camera obscura, aaah. 13 00:12:57,852 --> 00:13:02,651 No, no, Perkins. Not with the sugar tongs. 14 00:13:04,305 --> 00:13:05,997 She's too delicate. 15 00:13:13,619 --> 00:13:16,615 Mother, is that you? 16 00:14:48,546 --> 00:14:50,850 Ah! No use, no use. 17 00:14:52,341 --> 00:14:54,093 Out. 18 00:14:54,593 --> 00:14:56,052 Out. 19 00:14:56,845 --> 00:14:58,471 Out. 20 00:17:02,902 --> 00:17:06,422 No, mother, no, no. No, you're wrong, you're wrong. 21 00:18:34,718 --> 00:18:36,644 Here you are, sir. 22 00:18:37,553 --> 00:18:39,355 Thank you. 23 00:18:43,065 --> 00:18:47,106 "Are you in a hole?" 24 00:20:07,669 --> 00:20:09,629 This is too much man. 25 00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:06,343 - Mr. Collins. - Mrs. Peurofoy. 26 00:22:06,551 --> 00:22:10,471 - I'm sorry. Are these yours, dear? - Oh, yes, yes, of course. 27 00:22:10,472 --> 00:22:12,892 I mean I found them outside on the landing. 28 00:22:12,976 --> 00:22:14,893 Yes, I know, I know. 29 00:22:16,871 --> 00:22:18,940 Crap. 30 00:22:24,153 --> 00:22:27,698 - Ain't it a lovely day, Mr. Collins? - Yes. 31 00:22:27,826 --> 00:22:29,791 What's the matter with him? 32 00:22:52,303 --> 00:22:56,477 Oh frankly... Mr. Collins. 33 00:22:57,548 --> 00:23:01,404 I've been meaning to tell you sir. Two hours ain't enough. 34 00:23:01,445 --> 00:23:05,116 - I beg your pardon? - Two hours it ain't enough time. 35 00:23:05,157 --> 00:23:07,380 I mean I can't do all week's washing up 36 00:23:07,385 --> 00:23:09,153 in a couple of hours. 37 00:23:09,154 --> 00:23:11,070 It's the laundry want sorting, 38 00:23:11,073 --> 00:23:14,251 I've got the bed to change. 39 00:23:16,253 --> 00:23:19,257 - I beg your pardon, sir? - Why? 40 00:23:19,340 --> 00:23:21,880 - Why what? - Why is it not possible? 41 00:23:21,883 --> 00:23:23,678 Because it just ain't. 42 00:23:23,761 --> 00:23:25,521 I mean you take the dishes alone. 43 00:23:25,562 --> 00:23:27,181 I've got to wash and dry. 44 00:23:27,223 --> 00:23:29,294 - You what, what? - Dry, sir! 45 00:23:29,376 --> 00:23:32,645 Yes, I know it is. But it's not going to last Mrs. Peurofoy. 46 00:23:32,687 --> 00:23:35,107 Do you hear that sound? 47 00:23:35,145 --> 00:23:41,006 Well, electricity. Static electricity. 48 00:23:41,041 --> 00:23:43,618 The air is full of it. 49 00:23:43,620 --> 00:23:46,314 - Look. - Oh, I see. 50 00:23:46,554 --> 00:23:49,021 No, I still think it isn't enough. 51 00:23:49,065 --> 00:23:50,625 Well, it's more than enough. 52 00:23:50,666 --> 00:23:53,919 I'm telling you it's crap, Mr. Collins. It ain't! 53 00:24:01,996 --> 00:24:06,470 Your lovely butterflies! However did that happen? 54 00:24:06,476 --> 00:24:08,821 I hit them with my time machine. 55 00:24:10,063 --> 00:24:11,314 With your what machine? 56 00:24:11,357 --> 00:24:14,867 The clock, Mrs. Peurofoy. The alarm clock. 57 00:24:15,261 --> 00:24:18,795 Ah, love 'em! Pretty dears. 58 00:24:19,298 --> 00:24:23,915 Not to worry. They all flew away, free as a flutter. 59 00:28:14,090 --> 00:28:15,661 Thank you dear! 60 00:28:29,754 --> 00:28:32,591 - You're hoovering again! - Pardon? 61 00:28:32,676 --> 00:28:36,721 - You're hoov... hoovering again! - Yes, I know dear. 62 00:28:36,843 --> 00:28:38,179 I don't like it. 63 00:28:38,221 --> 00:28:41,200 Well, I must do it once a month, sir. 64 00:28:41,207 --> 00:28:43,250 Well, it's only been three weeks and a half. 65 00:28:43,251 --> 00:28:46,580 Now dear, four... four weeks, Mr. Collins. 66 00:28:46,855 --> 00:28:49,860 Oh, that's alright, Mrs. Peurofoy. I'm behind in my work. 67 00:28:49,866 --> 00:28:52,840 No more hoovering today, Mrs. Peurofoy. Please. Now go now. 68 00:28:52,842 --> 00:28:55,196 Now I'll be done in an hour and a half. 69 00:28:55,239 --> 00:28:58,730 That's alright, I'll pay you for two. Here you are. 70 00:28:58,731 --> 00:29:00,760 Oh dear, I don't think I've got any change. 71 00:29:00,767 --> 00:29:02,370 - Oh that's alright. Take a look. - Oh, well. 72 00:29:02,412 --> 00:29:05,060 - And go, just go. - Thank you very much, sir. 73 00:29:05,064 --> 00:29:06,848 Sorry about the change. 74 00:29:14,046 --> 00:29:16,685 By the way, is your daughter any better, Mrs. Peurofoy? 75 00:29:16,751 --> 00:29:20,721 Daughter? About daughter, I'm not even married, dear. 76 00:29:21,596 --> 00:29:24,849 Oh well, we should all be married sooner or later, Mrs. Peurofoy? 77 00:29:24,891 --> 00:29:26,709 Says who? 78 00:29:27,235 --> 00:29:28,577 Goodbye. 79 00:32:22,353 --> 00:32:26,734 With very close range CF intermolecular 80 00:32:26,735 --> 00:32:30,698 strong repulsive forces are not known. 81 00:32:30,939 --> 00:32:33,589 Of course, of course. 82 00:32:33,924 --> 00:32:37,197 Like apples. Apples. 83 00:32:37,583 --> 00:32:40,635 Why my good man, they've been falling down for years. 84 00:32:41,238 --> 00:32:43,754 But from that's to infer... 85 00:32:48,264 --> 00:32:49,766 Well... 86 00:32:53,896 --> 00:32:55,806 Could it be possible? 87 00:33:09,584 --> 00:33:12,713 Somebody had to think of it sooner or later. 88 00:33:13,797 --> 00:33:19,229 Those Americans, no wonder such budgets. 89 00:41:36,727 --> 00:41:37,903 Hello? 90 00:41:38,597 --> 00:41:42,151 Listen, you keep somebody out with people. 91 00:41:42,651 --> 00:41:46,533 If he wants you for a movie, he's gonna ring up your agent, right? 92 00:41:46,574 --> 00:41:49,035 What's the problem? 93 00:41:50,495 --> 00:41:54,085 We're having a bit of trouble at the moment. 94 00:41:54,627 --> 00:41:56,772 No, she's doing great. 95 00:41:56,807 --> 00:41:58,789 Yeah, we're having a party tonight. 96 00:41:58,790 --> 00:42:00,618 I'd like you to come along. 97 00:42:00,802 --> 00:42:03,764 It's at eight o'clock. Ask me 98 00:42:03,805 --> 00:42:08,062 and I'll look after you. Of course. Yeah, you'll be ok. 99 00:42:08,086 --> 00:42:11,001 That's what I like about you. You're much cooler than the others. 100 00:42:11,733 --> 00:42:16,849 Yeah. Okay, see you when? Bye. 101 00:43:14,326 --> 00:43:16,467 That's the boy, Fido. 102 00:46:22,708 --> 00:46:26,529 Hi there! Remember me? We met at the elevator. 103 00:46:27,340 --> 00:46:30,628 I'm sorry to disturb you. Could you spare some ice? 104 00:46:31,179 --> 00:46:33,848 - Ice from the fridge. - Fridge? 105 00:46:33,890 --> 00:46:36,142 Refrigerator. 106 00:46:36,143 --> 00:46:38,062 Oh, yes, by all means! 107 00:46:50,580 --> 00:46:52,416 Excuse me. 108 00:47:01,386 --> 00:47:03,139 May I...? 109 00:47:08,105 --> 00:47:10,865 - It seems to be stuck. - Yes. 110 00:47:20,579 --> 00:47:23,215 - Here we are. - A lot of ice you got here, Professor. 111 00:47:23,217 --> 00:47:25,020 Well I hope it's enough for you. 112 00:47:40,814 --> 00:47:42,194 What's that? 113 00:47:42,435 --> 00:47:45,321 Oh, that's the mantis, the "praying mantis" 114 00:47:45,404 --> 00:47:46,882 It is a tropical insect. 115 00:47:46,917 --> 00:47:48,420 This is the female. 116 00:47:48,425 --> 00:47:51,850 A solitary creature. She has the habit of devouring 117 00:47:51,854 --> 00:47:54,785 the male of the species after the love embrace. 118 00:47:56,755 --> 00:47:58,562 Just like birds. 119 00:47:58,597 --> 00:47:59,980 Oh, no, no, you're wrong. 120 00:47:59,982 --> 00:48:03,011 Birds are essentially monogamous and love their mates. 121 00:48:03,012 --> 00:48:06,240 - I mean girls. - Oh, I see. 122 00:48:06,282 --> 00:48:08,355 - Well, I have to split. - Split? 123 00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:10,100 I mean I must be going. 124 00:48:10,105 --> 00:48:11,749 I hope the party is not disturbing you. 125 00:48:11,874 --> 00:48:13,417 It's for Penny, my girl. 126 00:48:13,542 --> 00:48:15,325 She's got a cover on Vogue. 127 00:48:16,573 --> 00:48:20,327 - Vogue, the fashion magazine. - Oh! Congratulations. 128 00:48:20,369 --> 00:48:24,415 No, not for me. The cycle of Pisces is coming to an end. 129 00:48:24,498 --> 00:48:28,572 Thanks for everything, Professor. It was beautiful. So long. 130 00:48:31,561 --> 00:48:33,134 Penny. 131 00:52:49,152 --> 00:52:54,137 A nice cup of tea for you, Mr. Collins. We have been... 132 00:52:54,201 --> 00:52:56,536 Mmm hmm, yes. 133 00:52:56,578 --> 00:52:58,959 - Yes, none of them were positive. - None? 134 00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:02,754 - We're definitely not bubonic plague. - That's it. 135 00:53:02,796 --> 00:53:07,010 - I beg your pardon? - It is. 136 00:53:10,182 --> 00:53:13,227 I'm talking about the analysis. 137 00:53:13,269 --> 00:53:16,678 Yes, the analysis, obviously. 138 00:53:18,233 --> 00:53:19,986 - How do you like the feeds? - I read. 139 00:53:20,070 --> 00:53:23,366 Read? The Walter Reports? 140 00:53:23,449 --> 00:53:25,661 I mean, send them off. 141 00:53:26,662 --> 00:53:28,664 Aren't you going to verify the reports? 142 00:53:28,706 --> 00:53:31,450 Absolutely not. I have work to do. 143 00:53:41,681 --> 00:53:43,851 Can you see her now? 144 00:53:43,892 --> 00:53:46,583 I can't see her anymore. 145 00:53:48,566 --> 00:53:50,596 Mr. Collins, aren't you feeling very well? 146 00:53:50,597 --> 00:53:54,210 I feel a bit dizzy. 147 00:53:54,213 --> 00:53:56,313 Well, perhaps you better lie down for a moment. 148 00:53:56,367 --> 00:53:58,579 Lie down, you think so? 149 00:53:58,662 --> 00:54:00,295 Yes, sir. I do, certainly. 150 00:54:00,296 --> 00:54:03,160 Frankly sir, you look quite off colour. 151 00:54:07,592 --> 00:54:12,588 Once again, thanks for seeing me home and in bed. 152 00:54:12,808 --> 00:54:14,936 It's only natural that I would. 153 00:54:15,978 --> 00:54:19,840 Sleep well, Mr. Collins. Bye. 154 00:54:19,843 --> 00:54:22,197 Until tomorrow. 155 00:55:23,196 --> 00:55:24,615 Eat... 156 00:55:25,406 --> 00:55:27,200 or not to eat? 157 00:56:55,238 --> 00:56:57,765 Mr. Collins, Perkins here, sir. 158 00:56:57,800 --> 00:57:00,459 I just wanted to know if you are getting on alright. 159 00:57:00,494 --> 00:57:03,435 What do you mean, waking me up at dawn? 160 00:57:04,041 --> 00:57:05,793 It's noon already. 161 00:57:05,875 --> 00:57:08,025 - Noon? - Yes, sir. 162 00:57:08,060 --> 00:57:12,215 And I... well we here are worried about you, sir. Are you alright? 163 00:57:12,256 --> 00:57:15,759 I'm fine, fine. Goodbye Perkins. 164 00:58:27,276 --> 00:58:30,301 TEA BREAK 165 01:01:31,886 --> 01:01:37,258 WHAT PROFESSOR COLLINS CANNOT SEE 166 01:01:54,986 --> 01:01:59,726 WHAT THE GIRL DOES NOT KNOW 167 01:02:29,056 --> 01:02:33,043 WHAT THE YOUNG MAN DOES NOT KNOW 168 01:02:37,982 --> 01:02:39,552 You're pregnant. 169 01:02:40,933 --> 01:02:44,328 WHAT NOBODY KNOWS 170 01:03:52,399 --> 01:03:55,951 Perkins. What are you doing out there? 171 01:03:55,952 --> 01:03:59,113 Well Mr. Collins, sir. It's been more than a week, and I would... 172 01:03:59,155 --> 01:04:01,955 Well, what I mean is the line was always engaged, 173 01:04:01,959 --> 01:04:04,180 so I said to myself you must go there... 174 01:04:04,184 --> 01:04:07,510 One second, Perkins. I'm no longer a child, you know. 175 01:04:07,655 --> 01:04:10,866 I have the right to be alone. Isolated... 176 01:04:11,007 --> 01:04:14,499 - Yes, but Mr. Collins, I... - It's unbelievable! 177 01:04:14,541 --> 01:04:15,792 What do you think I am doing? 178 01:04:16,836 --> 01:04:19,044 - I don't know, sir. - You don't know? 179 01:04:19,086 --> 01:04:21,678 Well, I am working, that's what. 180 01:04:21,720 --> 01:04:25,508 I am carrying out experiments of the greatest importance to mankind. 181 01:04:26,475 --> 01:04:28,937 - Why are you looking at? - Me? Nothing. 182 01:04:28,979 --> 01:04:33,234 There are times, Perkins, when I must admit I find your behavior very strange. 183 01:04:33,269 --> 01:04:35,242 Very strange, indeed. 184 01:04:35,277 --> 01:04:37,735 It's your health I'm worried about, sir. 185 01:04:37,770 --> 01:04:39,790 Oh well then, in that case, I've got news for you Perkins. 186 01:04:39,831 --> 01:04:41,374 I've got the measles. 187 01:04:41,416 --> 01:04:43,963 - You can't come in here. - I've already had measles. 188 01:04:44,005 --> 01:04:46,383 Oh no, you haven't. Not this kind. 189 01:04:46,425 --> 01:04:48,968 This is a new microbe. Highly contagious. 190 01:04:49,010 --> 01:04:50,933 You are not even allowed to talk to me. 191 01:04:51,234 --> 01:04:52,581 Perkins. 192 01:04:54,940 --> 01:04:57,818 Don't forget to wash your hands with alcohol. 193 01:05:00,573 --> 01:05:05,599 And don't go near the water. Go away! 194 01:11:53,318 --> 01:11:57,844 - Good morning. - Are you alright? 195 01:11:57,845 --> 01:12:00,464 Yes, sorry to disturb you, Professor. 196 01:12:00,465 --> 01:12:02,376 Oh, not at all, not at all. 197 01:12:02,418 --> 01:12:04,540 Well, this is very embarrassing. 198 01:12:04,545 --> 01:12:06,441 Penny, my girlfriend, wanted to ask you. 199 01:12:06,442 --> 01:12:09,000 Yes, yes. What is it? 200 01:12:09,079 --> 01:12:11,764 You wouldn't have any spare banana, would you? 201 01:12:11,806 --> 01:12:13,270 Oh yes. 202 01:12:15,272 --> 01:12:18,234 I mean, no. I'm awfully sorry. 203 01:12:18,277 --> 01:12:22,781 - How about some sugar? - Sugar, yes, of course. Do come inside. 204 01:12:35,385 --> 01:12:36,748 Here we are. 205 01:12:37,248 --> 01:12:41,999 - Here. You can take it all. - Oh sugar cubes. It's beautiful! 206 01:12:43,509 --> 01:12:45,780 Looks as if your pet vermin are not well. 207 01:12:45,863 --> 01:12:48,720 Oh, they are Orthoptero, not vermin. 208 01:12:48,724 --> 01:12:50,570 Oh, they don't look good, all the same to me. 209 01:12:50,712 --> 01:12:53,748 - Do you live alone? - Yes, yes. 210 01:12:53,790 --> 01:12:56,280 - I wish I could. - Could what? 211 01:12:56,287 --> 01:12:58,592 Have my own apartment. Live alone for a while. 212 01:12:59,801 --> 01:13:01,905 No, no, no thank you. I don't smoke. 213 01:13:02,846 --> 01:13:06,076 - God, it's a drag. - What is? Smoking? 214 01:13:07,939 --> 01:13:10,375 Women, you wouldn't believe it? 215 01:13:10,943 --> 01:13:13,330 No, I wouldn't. 216 01:13:13,540 --> 01:13:16,536 You see, I have this girl who is in a mess. 217 01:13:16,937 --> 01:13:19,926 She getting so uptight, I don't know which way to break. 218 01:13:20,958 --> 01:13:22,129 Indeed. 219 01:13:22,846 --> 01:13:25,970 She's into the model seem. Have you caught her scutchers? 220 01:13:26,011 --> 01:13:29,165 Scutchers? Is she an alcoholic? 221 01:13:29,206 --> 01:13:31,495 No, I mean, legs, her ankles. 222 01:13:31,777 --> 01:13:33,681 She's so involved with that model fantasy 223 01:13:33,722 --> 01:13:35,143 it's driving her crazy. 224 01:13:35,333 --> 01:13:39,073 - Crying in her sleep and all that. - Yes, I know. 225 01:13:40,174 --> 01:13:43,660 I mean she must be very disturbed. 226 01:13:43,673 --> 01:13:46,328 - Mentally, that is. - I'm no head shrinker. 227 01:13:47,543 --> 01:13:50,340 Oh no. No, you're not. 228 01:13:50,758 --> 01:13:52,953 Do you remember that song, 229 01:13:53,053 --> 01:13:55,690 "I gotta find a reason for leaving this girl"? 230 01:13:55,732 --> 01:13:58,584 - That's my song. - No, I don't like songs. 231 01:13:59,015 --> 01:14:02,451 Music is just organized noise. 232 01:14:02,593 --> 01:14:04,857 And noise is poison to the mind. 233 01:14:04,957 --> 01:14:08,494 That's what's the matter with her. Too much music. 234 01:14:09,913 --> 01:14:12,679 Thank you very much for the sugar cubes, Professor. 235 01:14:12,693 --> 01:14:14,203 - You're welcome. - I'll be going along now. 236 01:14:14,244 --> 01:14:15,962 Let me show you to the door. 237 01:14:22,240 --> 01:14:24,608 Well professor, thanks for everything. 238 01:20:39,318 --> 01:20:40,961 Rock out! 239 01:28:07,130 --> 01:28:08,450 Help! 240 01:28:10,389 --> 01:28:11,660 I said, help! 241 01:28:14,395 --> 01:28:16,658 Osoko! 242 01:28:17,679 --> 01:28:19,938 Help! 243 01:28:21,822 --> 01:28:23,378 Help! 244 01:29:15,175 --> 01:29:19,918 SCIENTIST SAVES FASHION MODEL 245 01:29:20,231 --> 01:29:22,238 Ms. Lane said to our reporters: 246 01:29:22,280 --> 01:29:24,030 "I shall start a new life". 247 01:29:24,033 --> 01:29:26,908 That's what you must do when you're born for a second time. 248 01:29:30,511 --> 01:29:33,888 - Good morning all. - Well, good morning, sir. 249 01:30:07,157 --> 01:30:08,457 Oh Perkins! 250 01:30:08,658 --> 01:30:11,665 Perkins... Perkins come and see... 251 01:30:11,666 --> 01:30:16,543 Oh Perkins, tell your man it's... a... 107244

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