Original subtitles

>> THIS WAS SPRAY PAINTED ON THE

LOCKER OF A JEWISH GIRL

AT CORAL GABLES PREP.

SEVERAL BLOCKS AWAY,

"GO HOME, LEMONHEADS" WAS

SCRAWLED ON AN ASIAN-AMERICAN

COUPLE'S FRONT DOOR.

>> THAT'S TERRIBLE, DETECTIVE,

BUT WHY COME TO US?

>> WELL, BOTH THE TEENAGER AND

THE ASIAN HUSBAND WERE PATIENTS

OF YOURS. SO YOU HAVEN'T HAD ANY

FILES GO MISSING?

NO STRANGE BEHAVIOR FROM YOUR

EMPLOYEES OR PATIENTS?

>> NO...BUT WE'LL DOUBLE CHECK

THE FILES AND KEEP AN EYE OUT

FOR ANYTHING UNUSUAL.

>> SO I'LL GET BACK TO YOU GUYS

IN A FEW DAYS. IF YOU THINK OF

ANYTHING BEFORE THEN, PLEASE

GIVE ME A CALL.

>> OK.

>> DETECTIVE.

HOW LONG DOES SOMEONE HAVE TO BE

GONE BEFORE YOU CAN FILE A

MISSING PERSONS REPORT?

>> SHE'S NOT MISSING, SEAN.

>> DO YOU HAVE ANY REASON TO

SUSPECT FOUL PLAY?

>> NO. I ONLY SUSPECT THAT MY

FIANCEE CAME TO HER SENSES.

>> [CHUCKLES] I DIDN'T KNOW THAT

SORT OF THING HAPPENED TO A GUY

LIKE YOU.

[DOOR CLOSES]

>> CHRISTIAN, I KNOW IT'S ONLY

BEEN A FEW DAYS, BUT DON'T YOU

THINK YOU HAVE TO EXAMINE EVERY

POSSIBLE SCENARIO?

IT ISN'T LIKE--

>> KIMBER'S GONE...

AND I'M MOVING ON, SEAN.

I'M NOT MEANT TO BE MARRIED TO

HER OR ANYBODY ELSE. LOOK AT

ME. I'M A WILDLY SUCCESSFUL

PLASTIC SURGEON WITH GREAT HAIR,

PEARL-WHITE TEETH, AND A 33-INCH

WAIST. I'M A GODDAMN SUPERHERO.

AND I'M GONNA PUT THAT CAPE BACK

ON, FLY BACK INTO EVERY SINGLES

BAR IN TOWN AND...BANG MYSELF

SILLY.

I'VE GOT A CONSULT WAITING IN

THE OFFICE.

>> TELL ME WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE

ABOUT YOURSELF, MISS...MAYS.

>> I DON'T LIKE THAT I LOOK LIKE

A CLYDESDALE. MY FACE BELONGS IN

A FEEDBAG, AND THESE HIPS AND

LEGS SHOULD BE PULLING THE

BUDWEISER BEER WAGON.

UM, THIS IS WHERE YOUR WONDERFUL

BEDSIDE MANNER SHOULD KICK IN.

YOU SHOULD SAY, "NO, ABBY, I

THINK YOU'RE AN ATTRACTIVE

LADY." OR AT LEAST A HANDSOME

GAL? THAT'S WHAT MY DAD USED TO

CALL THE UGLY WOMEN--HANDSOME.

>> WHY DON'T YOU BE A LITTLE

MORE SPECIFIC ABOUT EXACTLY WHAT

CHANGES YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

>> I JUST KNOW I WANT TO BE

BEAUTIFUL SO I CAN BE LOVED BY

SOMEONE LIKE YOU. OK, NOT YOU

EXACTLY. I KNOW YOU'RE

UNATTAINABLE. I KNOW THAT. I SAW

YOU IN BEACH DRIVE MAGAZINE.

I KNOW YOU WERE NAMED ONE OF

MIAMI'S 50 MOST

ELIGIBLE BACHELORS. BUT YOU'RE

OFF THE MARKET, RIGHT? YOU'RE...

ENGAGED?

>> NOT ANYMORE. [SIGHS]

LOOK, IF IT'S A BOYFRIEND YOU'RE

LOOKING FOR, WHY DON'T YOU SAVE

YOUR MONEY AND TRY ONLINE DATING

OR PERSONAL ADS? I'M SURE

THERE'S SOMEBODY OUT THERE WHO'S

PERFECT FOR YOU.

>> I HAVE DONE THEM ALL ALREADY,

BUT NOTHING'S CLICKED. ON MOST

OF THE DATES THE GUY USUALLY

JUST TURNS AND WALKS OUT OF THE

RESTAURANT ONCE HE SEES FLABBY

ABBY. OR THEY'RE JUST TOO

HIDEOUS, AND I WALK OUT ON THEM.

>> YOU KNOW, THE UGLY ONES ARE

USUALLY THE BEST LOVERS. REAL...

GIVERS...TO MAKE UP FOR THEIR

SHORTCOMINGS.

>> JUST BECAUSE I AM UGLY

DOESN'T MEAN I'M ATTRACTED TO

UGLY, DR. TROY. I GET ALL THE

MAGAZINES. I WATCH MTV. I'M AS

AFFECTED BY THE MEDIA AS ANYONE

ELSE.

>> WELL, SWEETHEART, YOU'RE

NEVER GONNA LOOK LIKE ANGELINA,

AND YOU'RE NEVER GONNA SLEEP

WITH BRAD. THAT'S JUST THE WAY

IT IS. LIFE SUCKS FOR YOU.

>> YOU DON'T THINK I SHOULD

TRY PLASTIC SURGERY?

>> YOU'LL NEED MULTIPLE

SURGERIES, AND NONE OF THEM ARE

CHEAP.

>> I REALIZE THAT. I WANT TO DO

WHATEVER IT TAKES TO BE

BEAUTIFUL.

>> FINE. GIVE ME YOUR LIPSTICK

AND TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES.

>> IS THAT REALLY NECESSARY?

>> YOUR FIRST STEP TOWARDS A

LIFE OF BEAUTY IS TAKING A LONG,

COLD LOOK AT REALITY. SO YEAH, I

THINK IT'S NECESSARY. STRIP.

BEAUTY IS SYMMETRY, AND YOU

DON'T HAVE ANY.

FIRST I HAVE TO GET RID OF ALL

THIS NASTY COTTAGE CHEESE.

AND HERE YOU NEED SOME LASER

HAIR REMOVAL TO KEEP THIS FOREST

UNDER CONTROL. THESE MUD FLAPS

WILL NEED TO BE LOPPED OFF. HAVE

YOU EVER PICKED UP ANYTHING

HEAVIER THAN A CARTON OF HAAGEN

DAZS?

>> UM, WELL, I DON'T GO TO A GYM

OR ANYTHING.

>> OBVIOUSLY. YOUR BEER BELLY

WILL NEED EXTENSIVE ABDOMINAL

LIPO. AND YOU COULD INSULATE

YOUR HOUSE WITH THE AMOUNT OF

FAT I'M GONNA SUCK OUT OF YOUR

HIPS AND YOUR ASS.

>> IS SOMETHING WRONG?

>> I RAN OUT OF LIPSTICK.

[SIGHS]

>> WHAT ABOUT MY FACE, DR. TROY?

>> IT'S A LOST CAUSE. BUT IF I

SCULPT YOUR BODY WITH TUMESCENT

LIPO, IT MIGHT BE SALVAGEABLE.

>> "SALVAGEABLE?"

>> DO-ABLE. SCREWABLE. READY TO

BE RIDDEN BAREBACK.

NOW PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON.

YOU LOOK LIKE A ROAD MAP TO

HELL.

>> AFTER WE REMOVE THE EMBEDDED

METALS, WE CAN EVEN OUT THE SKIN

SURFACE WITH A LIGHT

MICRODERMABRASION.

>> EXCUSE ME, DR. COSTA. I'LL

HANDLE IT FROM HERE.

>> I THOUGHT I'D GO AHEAD AND

GET STARTED. I DIDN'T WANT TO

WASTE THIS SOLDIER'S TIME.

>> WE'LL ONLY BE WASTING HIS

TIME IF WE EXAMINE HIM TWICE.

>> ISN'T HE A DOCTOR?

>> YES, HE IS, BUT YOU DESERVE

TO BE EXAMINED BY A PARTNER,

INSTEAD OF JUST ONE OF OUR

ASSOCIATE DOCTORS.

>> SOUNDS GREAT.

>> CAN YOU TELL ME HOW YOU GOT

YOUR SHRAPNEL SCARS, CORPORAL

BRANDT?

>> [CLEARS THROAT] I RAN A

REGULAR SUPPLY CONVOY ON ROUTE

IRISH. IT'S THE ONLY ROAD

BETWEEN CENTRAL BAGHDAD AND THE

AIRPORT. THEY CALL IT THE MOST

DANGEROUS ROAD ON EARTH 'CAUSE

IT GETS ATTACKED ALMOST EVERY

SINGLE DAY. THE HUMVEE I WAS

RIDING IN TOOK A DIRECT HIT FROM

AN RPG...AND IT WAS MAYHEM.

MY PARTNER TOOK A GRENADE RIGHT

TO THE CHEST, AND IT BLEW HIM TO

SHIT. I SAW THE DUDE WHO

LAUNCHED IT AT US ABOUT 200

YARDS AWAY ON TOP OF A BUILDING.

HE WAS DANCING. I JUST SNAPPED.

I DIDN'T HAVE ANY WEAPONS ON ME,

BUT I HEADED STRAIGHT FOR THAT

BUILDING.

>> WERE YOU AFRAID?

>> I WOULD HAVE DONE THE EXACT

SAME THING.

>> NO, IT WASN'T FEAR. THIS MAY

SOUND TERRIBLE, BUT...

WHEN YOU'RE IN A SITUATION LIKE

THAT, AND YOU'RE ATTACKED FOR NO

REASON, IT'S HATE THAT GETS YOU

THROUGH IT. EVEN PROTECTS YOU.

>> WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?

>> WELL, HE WAS BIGGER THAN ME,

SO HE FENDED ME OFF AT FIRST,

BUT I FINALLY GOT HIM DOWN ON

THE GROUND...AND I STUCK MY

THUMBS IN HIS EYES UNTIL THEY

WERE COVERED IN BLOOD. HE

STARTED SWINGING WILDLY AT THE

AIR, SO I TOOK HIS LAUNCHER, AND

I HIT HIM IN THE HEAD WITH IT

AGAIN AND AGAIN. I JUST KEPT

HITTING HIM IN THE HEAD UNTIL IT

CRACKED WIDE OPEN.

WHEN I SAW BONE, I KNEW HE WAS

DEAD.

>> WHAT A TERRIBLE THING TO

EXPERIENCE.

>> I GUESS. I'M KIND OF NUMB TO

IT NOW, THOUGH. ALL THE BLOOD

AND EVERYTHING. YOU GUYS MUST

KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. YOU

MUST DEAL WITH GORE EVERY DAY,

RIGHT?

>> I DON'T THINK ANYONE EVER

GETS USED TO SLAUGHTER.

>> I SEE YOU HAVE A WIFE--

CHLOE. SHE MUST BE HAPPY YOU'RE

HOME.

>> YEAH. YEAH. I'M GONNA BE

STAYING FOR A WHILE, TOO. THE

ARMY WANTS ME TO DO RECRUITING

FOR THEM NOW. I MEAN, THAT'S WHY

THEY'RE PAYING FOR ALL THE

COSMETIC SURGERY.

SO I'M GOING TO GO

AROUND TO HIGH SCHOOLS AND MALLS

AND STUFF AND GET PEOPLE TO SIGN

UP.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

>> IT'S JUST LIKE OLD TIMES

HAVING YOU HERE, LIZ.

>> WELL, DON'T GET TOO EXCITED,

CHRISTIAN. I'M ONLY FILLING IN

TODAY 'CAUSE YOU COULDN'T FIND

ANYBODY ELSE ON SUCH LATE

NOTICE.

>> IS SHE PROPERLY TUMESCED?

>> YES, DOCTOR.

METZ.

CANNULA.

[LOUD SUCKING SOUNDS]

>> CHRISTIAN, COME ON! I GAVE

THIS PATIENT ENOUGH PROPOFOL FOR

A LIPOSUCTION. YOU'RE SCRAPING

ICE OFF OF A CAR WINDSHIELD.

>> TUMESCENT LIPOSUCTION LEAVES

VERY LITTLE BRUISING. JUST DO

YOUR JOB AND KEEP HER UNDER.

>> IT'S MY JOB TO MINIMIZE PAIN.

HAVING HER WAKE UP LOOKING LIKE

SHE JUST PLAYED LINEBACKER FOR

THE DOLPHINS KIND OF DEFEATS THE

PURPOSE. LOOK...

LOOK! AFTER BEING ATTACKED,

ACCUSED OF MURDER, REJECTED BY

YOUR MOTHER, AND DUMPED BY YOUR

BRIDE, WHO WOULDN'T BE ANGRY?

IT MAKES SENSE. YOU'VE HAD A

REALLY ROUGH YEAR, CHRISTIAN,

BUT YOU SHOULDN'T BE TAKING IT

OUT ON HER.

>> ENOUGH OF YOUR FEMINAZI

BULLSHIT, LIZ! I DON'T CARE IF

YOU DON'T WORK HERE FULL-TIME

ANYMORE. WHEN YOU'RE ASSISTING

ME, THAT MEANS YOU'RE AN

EMPLOYEE, WHICH MEANS SHUT UP

AND SERVE THE SURGEON!

>> THIS IS THE LAST FAVOR I AM

GONNA DO FOR YOU.

>> YOUR FAVOR IS NO LONGER

REQUIRED. LINDA CAN HELP ME

FINISH.

>> FINE. OK, YOU REVERSE HER

SLOWLY, AND THEN YOU EXTUBATE

WHEN YOU CAN.

>> 15 BLADE.

>> I HEARD SOMEONE PAINTED A

SWASTIKA ON A LOCKER AT MATT'S

SCHOOL.

>> WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT?

>> NOTHING. JUST WONDERED IF

THEY HAVE ANY IDEA WHO DID IT.

>> ADSEN PICKUPS.

SCISSORS.

>> IT'S FUNNY, ISN'T IT?

PAINTING A FEW JAGGED LINES ON A

LOCKER IS CONSIDERED A HATE

CRIME. BUT SO MANY THINGS ARE

EXCLUDED FROM THAT LABEL. RAPE,

MURDER, INCEST. WHY AREN'T THEY

CALLED HATE CRIMES? WAR. THAT'S

NOT CONSIDERED A CRIME AT ALL.

YET HATING YOUR ENEMY MAKES IT

SO MUCH EASIER TO KILL THEM.

>> WHAT ABOUT SLEEPING WITH A

COLLEAGUE'S EX-WIFE? ISN'T THAT

A HATE CRIME?

>> WHY DON'T WE JUST

BE MEN ABOUT THIS AND FULLY

ADDRESS THE DILEMMA AT HAND?

I HATE YOU.

>> WHAT A COINCIDENCE. I CAN'T

WAIT FOR THE DAY WHEN YOUR

CONTRACT FINALLY EXPIRES AND WE

CAN KICK YOUR ASS OUT THAT DOOR.

>> WHY DON'T YOU JUST DO IT NOW,

SEAN? DO IT! BUY ME OUT. OH,

THAT'S RIGHT, YOU CAN'T AFFORD

IT.

>> IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A

DECLARATION OF WAR, QUENTIN,

YOU'VE GOT IT. THE GAUNTLET HAS

OFFICIALLY BEEN THROWN DOWN.

>> I ACCEPT YOUR DECLARATION. AS

UNCOMFORTABLE AS YOU TRY AND

MAKE MY LIFE AROUND HERE, I HAVE

SEVERAL DELIGHTFUL WAYS TO MAKE

IT MORE DIFFICULT FOR YOU. AND

THEN AT THE END OF THE DAY, I

CAN GO HOME AND GET OUT ANY

LEFTOVER AGGRESSION...

BY SCREWING JULIA.

>> HOW ARE WE FEELING TODAY,

CORPORAL?

>> WHERE'S DR. McNAMARA? I

THOUGHT HE WAS MY SURGEON.

>> I'M ONLY DOING A FOLLOW-UP.

IS THAT A PROBLEM?

>> NO. I GUESS YOU'LL BE FINE.

>> [SIGHS]

YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN THINKING

ABOUT YOUR STORY. IT'S REALLY

QUITE AMAZING.

>> TRY HAVING IT HAPPEN TO YOU.

>> YOU MUST HAVE FELT SO...

SO VULNERABLE.

>> WHEN YOU'RE UNDER ATTACK, YOU

HAVE TO PUSH THOSE FEELINGS

DOWN.

>> YEAH.

WELL, EVERYTHING IS HEALING VERY

NICELY. ONCE WE REMOVE THE

STITCHES THERE SHOULD BE NO

SCARRING WHATSOEVER.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> EXCUSE ME.

>> YOU DIDN'T TELL US YOU CAUGHT

SHRAPNEL DOWN THERE. YOU KNOW,

WE COULD'VE TAKEN CARE OF THOSE

DURING THE SAME PROCEDURE.

>> NO, I DON'T WANT ALL OF THEM

FIXED. THEY'RE SOUVENIRS, MY OWN

BADGES OF HONOR.

>> WELL, AT LEAST LET ME CHECK

AND MAKE SURE NO KELOIDS ARE

FORMING.

>> GOOD. THAT'S GOOD.

>> WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK

YOU'RE DOING? I'M NOT A

FAGGOT...DOCTOR. I'M A MARRIED

MAN. I HAVE A WIFE.

>> HMM.

>> I CAN SEE...WHY YOU ASKED FOR

DR. McNAMARA.

>> CHRISTIAN, HEY! GOOD TO SEE

YOU.

>> SWANK PLACE YOU HAVE HERE,

JULIA. I CAN SEE WHY THE

PATIENTS ARE BANGING DOWN THE

DOORS TO GET IN.

>> I'M GLAD YOU APPROVE. YOUR

DESIGN STANDARDS ARE VERY HIGH,

SO I'M FLATTERED. CAN I GIVE YOU

A TOUR, GET YOU A DRINK?

>> WHY THE KID GLOVES?

>> NO. I'M JUST HAPPY TO SEE

YOU.

YOU OK?

>> I'M FINE.

>> ARE YOU SURE? YOU'VE BEEN

THROUGH A PRETTY SHATTERING

EXPERIENCE, YOU KNOW. WHY DON'T

YOU JUST TAKE A VACATION AND GO

SOMEWHERE--

>> ENOUGH WITH THE PITY, OK? I

DON'T NEED A VACATION. KIMBER'S

ALREADY GIVEN ME ONE. I'M HERE

FOR A PATIENT FOLLOW-UP.

>> DR. TROY, I DIDN'T THINK

YOU'D STOP BY. AFTER ALL YOU'VE

BEEN THROUGH, I MEAN. I HEARD

YOU WERE DITCHED AT THE ALTAR?

I DON'T WANT TO SOUND MEAN, DR.

TROY, BUT THAT EX-BRIDE OF YOURS

SOUNDS LIKE A REAL BIRD-BRAIN.

WHAT WAS SHE THINKING? YOU'RE A

RICH, HANDSOME PLASTIC SURGEON,

EVERYTHING A WOMAN COULD WANT.

YOU'RE BETTER OFF ANYWAY. SURE,

YOU CAN GET ANY WOMAN YOU WANT

TO MARRY YOU, BUT IF YOU NEVER

GET MARRIED, YOU CAN GET EVERY

WOMAN ANY NIGHT OF THE WEEK. AND

NONE OF THEM WILL NAG YOU WHEN

YOU LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP. I

THINK--

>> SHUT UP!

LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT YOU. THAT'S

WHY I'M HERE.

>> AMAZING WORK.

>> I FEEL LIKE SOMEONE ELSE.

LIKE MAYBE I SHOULD CHANGE MY

NAME OR SOMETHING. FLABBY ABBY'S

DEAD. BUT DID YOU BEAT ME WITH A

BROOM HANDLE WHILE YOU WERE

VACUUMING MY HIPS?

>> SORENESS IS A SMALL PRICE TO

PAY FOR BEAUTY. DON'T YOU THINK?

>> I'D HAVE PAID DOUBLE. WHEN

CAN I GO OUT AND MEET MY DR.

CHRISTIAN TROY?

>> WHEN ARE YOU CHECKING OUT?

>> FRIDAY AFTERNOON.

>> SO WHY DON'T YOU STOP BY MY

PLACE FRIDAY NIGHT AROUND 8:00?

>> OK.

[CURTAIN CLOSES]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[GRUNTING]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

>> AHEM! HEY!

>> HEY.

SOMETHING SMELLS GOOD.

>> HA HA. I DON'T THINK I MADE

ENOUGH OR I'D INVITE YOU TO STAY

FOR DINNER. ARE YOU HERE TO SEE

MATT?

>> YEAH. IS HE AROUND?

>> YEAH, HE'S, UH...STUDYING

WITH ARIEL. HA HA HA.

>> GOOD. I WANT TO SPEAK TO HER,

TOO.

>> NO, I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD

DISTURB THEM, SEAN.

>> WHY NOT?

>> WELL, YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU

WERE LIKE WHEN WE FIRST STARTED

DATING, RIGHT?

>> YES, I DO.

>> IF YOU DO THIS, YOU MIGHT

NEVER BE ABLE TO GET HIM BACK.

[VOICES FROM INSIDE ROOM]

[MOANING]

>> GOOD.

>> OH, MY GOD.

>> WAIT.

[KISSING NOISES]

>> JESUS, ARE THEY HAVING SEX?

JULIA!

>> SEAN, I WOULD RATHER HIM

HANGING OUT HERE THAN ON THE

STREETS. I MEAN, WORSE STILL

WITH AVA. AT LEAST ARIEL'S

HIS AGE.

>> YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS?

>> YES, AND I GAVE HIM CONDOMS,

LIKE YOU ONCE DID, SEAN.

>> THAT WAS DIFFERENT.

>> REALLY? WHAT, THERE'S A

DOUBLE STANDARD IN TERMS OF

PARENTS PROVIDING CONTRACEPTION

TO THEIR KIDS?

>> NO! I JUST DON'T WANT OUR SON

HAVING SEX WITH HER! THAT GIRL

IN THERE IS PURE EVIL.

>> SHE'S A TEENAGER!

>> NO, SHE IS A RACIST, JULIA!

HAVE YOU EVEN HAD A CONVERSATION

WITH HER? OR IS IT ALL SUDDENLY

JUST ABOUT YOUR CAREER?

>> I HAVE BEEN BUSY WITH THE

SPA, BUT THERE HASN'T BEEN ONE

THING GOING ON WITH THIS FAMILY

THAT SLIPPED THROUGH THE CRACKS.

>> OH, REALLY? HERE'S SOMETHING

THAT SLIPPED THROUGH THE CRACK--

SOME GUY'S COCK IN YOUR

BOYFRIEND'S ASS!

>> WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?

>> I CAUGHT QUENTIN GETTING

REAR-ENDED BY A MALE PATIENT

THIS AFTERNOON. AND I DON'T

THINK HE WAS JUST COLLECTING THE

BILL.

>> I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR

JEALOUSY. WHAT IS IT, SEAN? IF I

CAN'T LOVE YOU, I'M NOT ALLOWED

TO LOVE ANYONE?

>> I JUST DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU

GET HURT, THAT'S ALL.

>> OH! YOU HAVE AN AWFUL WAY OF

SHOWING IT.

>> YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH HIM? IF

YOU ARE, MAKE SURE HE

DOUBLE-BAGS IT!

>> WHAT'D YOU SAY TO HER?

>> I GUESS THERE'S ONE GOOD

THING THAT COMES OUT OF SCREWING

YOUR GIRLFRIEND IN THE BEDROOM.

NEITHER ONE OF YOU CAN BE OUT

COMMITTING MORE HATE CRIMES!

>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

>> IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO LEAVE,

SEAN. YOU'VE DISRUPTED THIS

FAMILY ENOUGH FOR ONE DAY.

>> DID YOU AND YOUR LITTLE

GIRLFRIEND HAVE ANYTHING TO DO

WITH A SWASTIKA PAINTED ON A

LOCKER?

>> NO.

>> I HEARD YOU HELPED THE GIRL

WHOSE LOCKER IT WAS HIDE HER

JEWISH NOSE. SOUNDS TO ME LIKE

YOU'RE AN ACCESSORY TO THE

CRIME, DR. McNAMARA.

>> DON'T LET HER SPIN HER WEB

AROUND YOU, MATT. YOU CAN DO SO

MUCH BETTER THAN HER.

>> HEY! YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH.

WE'RE IN LOVE.

I LOVE YOU.

>> I LOVE YOU, TOO.

>> I DON'T HAVE TO STAND FOR

THIS.

>> WHY--WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE

TO CHOOSE HATE OVER LOVE, MAN?

[SLAM]

[FOOTSTEPS]

>> GOOD AFTERNOON, CORPORAL.

AHH, YOU MUST BE--

>> CHLOE BRANDT. HI.

>> HI.

>> IT'S THE LITTLE LADY.

>> YOU DID A GREAT JOB ON HIS

FACE. I HAVE MY HANDSOME OLIVER

BACK AGAIN.

>> MUST BE WONDERFUL HAVING YOUR

HUSBAND BACK, MRS. BRANDT.

>> OH, IT IS. IT'S AS IF MY

NIGHTMARE HAS ENDED IN THIS

DREAM COME TRUE.

>> HMM.

>> AND AS SOON AS WE FIND OUT

WHERE OLIVER'S STATIONED, WE'RE

GOING TO START LOOKING FOR A

HOUSE AND TRY TO GET PREGNANT.

>> OH, THAT'S--THAT'S TERRIFIC.

>> HAVE YOU HAD A PHYSICAL SINCE

HE'S BEEN BACK, CHLOE? A BLOOD

PANEL?

>> NO. WHY? IS THERE SOMETHING I

SHOULD BE CONCERNED ABOUT?

>> NO, NO, IT'S A GOOD IDEA. WHO

KNOWS WHAT DISEASES I WAS

EXPOSED TO IN IRAQ?

I KNOW A LOT OF GUYS WHO CAUGHT

SOME SAND FLY PARASITE THING.

>> I'LL MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH

DR. FLICKINGER.

>> HONEY, DID YOU BRING IN MY

SWEATER? I DON'T--I DON'T SEE

IT.

>> OH, I MUST'VE LEFT IT IN THE

CAR. I'LL RUN AND GO GET IT.

>> SHE'S LOVELY, CORPORAL.

YOU'RE A LUCKY MAN.

>> DOES CHLOE KNOW ABOUT YOUR

EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES?

>> I DON'T THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU

MEAN.

>> I SAW YOU AND DR. COSTA

HAVING ANAL INTERCOURSE,

CORPORAL BRANDT. NOT ONLY IS

THAT HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE

BEHAVIOR BETWEEN A DOCTOR AND

HIS PATIENT, BUT I HAVE A STRONG

FEELING THAT YOUR POOR, TRUSTING

WIFE HAS NO IDEA ABOUT IT.

>> BOTH YOU AND CHRISTIAN HAVE

HAD SEX WITH PATIENTS, SEAN. I

THOUGHT IT WAS COMPANY POLICY

AROUND HERE.

>> I SUGGEST YOU TELL YOUR WIFE

ABOUT IT, JUST LIKE I'VE TOLD MY

WIFE ABOUT DR. COSTA.

>> EX-WIFE. THAT WAS A MISTAKE.

>> OK, EXCUSE ME. WAIT A MINUTE.

WHY AM I CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF

YOUR CROSSFIRE, AND I DIDN'T

HAVE SEX WITH ANYBODY, OK? I'M

NOT A FAG.

>> NO ONE'S ACCUSING YOU OF

ANYTHING, CORPORAL. DR. McNAMARA

IS JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE I'VE

BEEN SEEING HIS EX-WIFE. IT'S

OBVIOUS HE STILL HAS A THING FOR

HER.

>> I GUESS WE CAN LEAVE IT UP TO

THE AMA TO DECIDE. I'M FILING A

SEXUAL MISCONDUCT GRIEVANCE.

>> AND I'LL JUST TELL THEM THAT

YOUR PERSONAL VENDETTA AGAINST

ME HAS NOW INAPPROPRIATELY

INVOLVED A PATIENT.

>> CORPORAL BRANDT, I'M SORRY TO

DO THIS, BUT I'LL GIVE YOU TWO

CHOICES--YOU CAN TELL THE

REVIEWING MEDICAL BOARD DR.

COSTA SEXUALLY ABUSED YOU

WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT--

>> HA!

>> WHICH WILL RESULT IN DR.

COSTA LOSING HIS JOB AND HIS

LICENSE TO PRACTICE, OR YOU CAN

ADMIT THAT WHAT HAPPENED WAS

CONSENSUAL AND FACE YOUR FATE

WITH THE MILITARY.

>> HI.

>> HEY.

>> IT'S, UH...IT'S QUIET AROUND

HERE.

>> WE'RE DOWN TO TWO PATIENTS

TONIGHT. A BUNCH CHECKED OUT

BEFORE THE WEEKEND.

>> YOU'RE TIGHT. WHAT IS THAT,

UM...THAT SAYING? THE DEVIL IS

THE KNOT BETWEEN YOUR SHOULDER

BLADES.

>> HA! IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY.

>> LET ME HELP YOU RELAX.

>> LET'S CHRISTEN THE SOAKING

TUB.

>> I NEED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.

[TAKES A DEEP BREATH]

SEAN TOLD ME HE SAW YOU HAVING

SEX WITH A MALE PATIENT OF YOURS

YESTERDAY.

>> HE--HE WHAT?

>> QUENTIN, IF YOU'RE GAY, I'LL

UNDERSTAND.

>> AHH.

OH, JULIA.

JULIA, DON'T YOU SEE WHAT HE'S

DOING?

>> THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER.

>> HE IS TRYING TO COME BETWEEN

US. DON'T YOU THINK IT'S A BIT

COINCIDENTAL THAT HE SAID HE SAW

ME SCREWING SOME GUY YESTERDAY,

IN OUR OFFICE, WHERE MY BOSS,

YOUR EX-HUSBAND COULD CATCH ME?

IT'S AS IF HE SAID TO YOU IF YOU

DON'T LOVE HIM, YOU CAN'T LOVE

ANYONE ELSE.

[JULIA SCOFFS]

YOU WANT TO BELIEVE HIM?

YOU'D BE COMPLETELY IGNORING

EVERY SECOND WE EVER SHARED.

COME HERE.

EVERY SECOND WE EVER SHARED ON

THE DANCE FLOOR, HMM?

EVERY CARESS OF OUR LIPS.

EVERY SOFT TOUCH OF OUR SKIN.

>> THEN WHY HAVEN'T YOU TRIED TO

HAVE SEX WITH ME? WE'VE BEEN

DATING FOR ALMOST A MONTH.

>> I DO THINGS...DIFFERENTLY.

THERE'S, UM...AN HONOR INVOLVED.

>> WELL, IF THIS IS TO CONTINUE,

I COULD DO WITH A LITTLE LESS

HONOR AND A LITTLE MORE HEAT.

>> HOW'S THAT? IS THAT HOT

ENOUGH FOR YOU?

[MOANING]

>> COME ON IN.

>> WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK?

>> WHAT ABOUT DINNER? I THOUGHT-

>> I THOUGHT MAYBE WE'D JUST

STAY IN.

>> THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. I'LL

HAVE A WHITE WINE SPRITZER. I

HEARD THERE'S LESS CALORIES IN

A SPRITZER, RIGHT? DON'T WANT TO

GET FAT AGAIN. CHRISTIAN, I WANT

TO THANK YOU FOR THIS. YOU'VE

ALREADY GIVEN ME MORE THAN I

COULD EVER IMAGINE.

>> DON'T GUZZLE, ABBY. I WANT

YOU TO BE FULLY CONSCIOUS FOR

WHAT'S HAPPENING NEXT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU LOOK

LIKE A TROUT.

>> I'M SORRY. DID YOU WANT TO

MAKE OUT?

>> BEFORE WE DO, WHY DON'T YOU

SLIP INTO SOMETHING A LITTLE

MORE COMFORTABLE?

>> I DIDN'T BRING ANYTHING.

>> THAT'S OK. I WENT SHOPPING.

IT'S ON THE BED.

>> THAT'S A BAG.

>> YES.

>> I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WENT

SHOPPING.

>> I DID, GROCERY SHOPPING. AND

I RECYCLE. AND NOW I WOULD LIKE

TO MAKE GOOD USE OF THAT BAG.

I WANT YOU TO PUT IT ON.

>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

>> IF YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH

ME, YOU HAVE TO PUT THE BAG

OVER HEAD SO I CAN'T SEE YOUR

FACE. YOU WON'T SUFFOCATE, IF

THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE WORRIED

ABOUT. C'MON, ABBY. HOW MANY

CHANCES IN LIFE ARE YOU GOING

TO GET TO SLEEP WITH SOMEONE

LIKE ME? HMM? YOU WANT ME OR

NOT?

>> YES.

>> SPEAK UP.

>> I SAID YES. I WANT YOU.

>> THEN PUT IT ON.

>> I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WENT

INTO THE MILITARY, CORPORAL. IT

GIVES YOU AN OPPORTUNITY TO

ROLE PLAY, HIDE FROM YOUR TRUE

SELF.

>> THAT'S FUNNY, DR. COSTA.

HIDING YOUR TRUE SELF FROM

DR. McNAMARA SEEMS TO BE EXACTLY

WHAT YOU HAD TO DO.

>> HAVE YOU MADE UP YOUR MIND?

ARE YOU GOING TO BE A MAN AND

TELL THE TRUTH? OR ARE YOU

GOING TO LIE IN AN ATTEMPT TO

RUIN MY CAREER TO SAVE YOURS?

>> DOESN'T SEEM LIKE MUCH OF

A CHOICE TO ME. WHY WOULD I

DO ANYTHING TO SAVE YOUR SORRY

ASS? AS MUCH AS I ENJOYED IT.

>> YOU'RE NOT A HERO. TO YOU,

IT'S MORE RESPECTABLE TO KILL

A MAN, THAN IT IS TO BE A

HOMOSEXUAL.

>> AND YOU'D RATHER RUIN

EVERYTHING I STAND FOR THAN TO

FIGHT YOUR OWN BATTLES. ISN'T

THE DOCTOR'S CREED TO "FIRST DO

NO HARM"?

>> THAT'S A GOOD POINT. BECAUSE

I HELPED YOU TODAY, CORPORAL.

THIS MORNING I CALLED YOUR

COMMANDING OFFICER AND INFORMED

HIM OF WHO YOU ARE--GAY AND A

COWARD.

>> YOU DID WHAT?

>> I TALKED TO COLONEL

WATTERSON. I TOLD HIM I'D GO

UNDER OATH IF NECESSARY.

>> YOU ASSHOLE.

>> NOW IT'S TIME YOU FACED HIM.

>> WE DON'T NEED YOU FOR THIS

SURGERY, QUENTIN. WHY DON'T YOU

JUST GO HOME?

>> OR WHY DON'T YOU HEAD DOWN

TO THE DOCKS? I HEAR THERE'S A

WHOLE BUNCH OF SAILORS JUST

ARRIVED WITH 3-DAY PASSES.

>> I'VE BEEN THINKING,

GENTLEMEN, AND I'VE DECIDED TO

MAKE YOU A DEAL. WE ALL KNOW

IT'S BECOME AN UNPLEASANT WORK

ENVIRONMENT AROUND HERE, AND

I'M NOT WANTED. SO I'LL MAKE YOU

AN OFFER YOU CAN'T REFUSE.

>> WE'RE LISTENING.

>> BUY OUT THE REMAINDER OF MY

CONTRACT AT 50¢ ON THE DOLLAR.

>> FINE. WE'LL HAVE OUR LAWYERS

DRAW UP THE PAPERWORK IN THE

MORNING.

>> NO, NO, NO. THERE'S NO NEED

TO WAIT THAT LONG. I'VE ALREADY

TAKEN CARE OF THE NECESSARY

ARRANGEMENTS. I'LL LEAVE THE

PAPERS ON YOUR DESK.

>> NO. WE'RE TAKING CARE

OF THIS RIGHT NOW.

EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD TO ME.

YOU HAVE A PEN?

>> I'M LEAVING NOW. I'LL SEND

FOR THE REST OF MY THINGS IN

THE MORNING.

>> THAT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA.

>> WHY THE CHANGE OF HEART,

QUENTIN? DID YOU SUDDENLY

REALIZE ATLANTA HAD A BRAND NEW

CROP OF PATIENTS TO BUGGER?

>> ACTUALLY, CHRISTIAN, I'M

STAYING RIGHT HERE IN MIAMI.

I TOOK A JOB AS THE PLASTIC

SURGEON IN RESIDENCE AT SPA DE

LA MER. I'M WORKING FOR JULIA.

>> [KIMBER'S VOICE] "DEAR

CHRISTIAN, I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT

YOU READING THIS LETTER EVER

SINCE THE DAY I LEFT. FOR YOUR

SAKE, I HOPE YOU'VE MOVED ON AND

BARELY REMEMBER MY NAME. PLEASE

KNOW THAT LEAVING YOU ON YOUR

WEDDING DAY WAS THE LAST THING I

WANTED TO DO. I TRIED TO SAY

THIS TO YOU SO MANY TIMES

BEFORE, BUT COULDN'T DO IT. SO I

JUST LEFT. BUT THE WORDS STILL

NEED TO BE SAID. WE WERE NEVER

MEANT TO SPEND OUR LIVES

TOGETHER. THERE IS ONE THING I

THANK YOU FOR--FORCING ME TO

CHOOSE BETWEEN YOU AND MY

CAREER. YOU HELPED ME REALIZE

THAT MY CAREER GIVES ME

EVERYTHING I NEED--

INDIVIDUALITY, EMPOWERMENT,

AUTONOMY--WHILE BEING YOUR WIFE

WOULD ONLY STRIP ME OF

MY DIGNITY AND SENSE OF SELF.

SO I CHOSE ME OVER YOU.

YOU PROBABLY HATE ME FOR IT, AND

FOR THAT, I'M SORRY. DON'T TRY

AND FIND ME. I NEVER WANNA SEE

YOU AGAIN. IT WOULD BE TOO

PAINFUL AND NOTHING WOULD BE

GAINED. GOODBYE. KIMBER.

>> WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME

DO THIS?

>> GIVE IT.

THANK YOU.

>> NO. [SCREAMS] STOP.

GOD.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

>> CHRISTIAN?

>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? DID

YOU FINALLY FIND AN OUNCE OF

RESPECT AND COME TO TELL ME

WHAT AN ASSHOLE I AM?

>> YOU AND I ARE VERY SIMILAR,

YOU KNOW. I KNOW YOU HATE ME,

BUT I'M OK WITH IT. BECAUSE I

HATE ME, TOO.

>> YOU COULDN'T BE MORE

PATHETIC.

>> YEAH, I KNOW. YOU'VE MADE

THAT PRETTY CLEAR. BUT,

CHRISTIAN, THAT'S COOL WITH ME.

I LIKE THAT I DON'T HAVE TO

WORRY IF YOU'LL EVER LOVE ME. I

DON'T HAVE TO TRY TO PLEASE

YOU. IT WOULD ONLY WASTE MY

TIME. DON'T YOU GET IT? LAST

NIGHT, THOSE WEREN'T TEARS OF

HUMILIATION YOU SAW. THEY

WERE TEARS OF JOY. I HAD THE

FIRST ORGASM OF MY LIFE WITH

YOU. I WENT ONLINE TO TRY AND

GET INFORMATION ABOUT MY

FEELINGS. ACCORDING TO THE WEB

SITES, I MUST BE A MASOCHIST.

AND YOU, YOU'RE DEFINITELY A

SADIST. WE'RE MADE FOR EACH

OTHER.

ANYTIME YOU WANT ME, JUST LET

ME KNOW. THEN I'LL WEAR THE BAG

AGAIN. I DON'T MIND.

>> BE AT MY PLACE TONIGHT AT

9:00.

[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org--]