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1
00:00:02,926 --> 00:00:04,993
Oh, I'm finally here.
2
00:00:05,062 --> 00:00:06,128
Oh, this has been my dream
3
00:00:06,163 --> 00:00:07,696
ever since I saw "An American in Paris."
4
00:00:07,765 --> 00:00:08,930
For me, it was "Am�lie."
5
00:00:09,033 --> 00:00:10,465
I made my mom give me that haircut.
6
00:00:10,567 --> 00:00:12,801
Happy Valentine's Day, mon cheri.
7
00:00:12,903 --> 00:00:14,336
Ah, gay Paree.
8
00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:16,038
See, I told you it would be Claire.
9
00:00:16,106 --> 00:00:17,939
- I had my money on Jay.
- Sorry, ladies,
10
00:00:18,008 --> 00:00:19,474
I'm in too good a mood.
11
00:00:19,543 --> 00:00:20,742
It's no big deal.
12
00:00:20,810 --> 00:00:22,644
I'm getting a lifetime achievement award
13
00:00:22,712 --> 00:00:26,047
at this year's Expo
Internationale du Closet.
14
00:00:26,149 --> 00:00:28,249
Why don't they translate the last word?
15
00:00:28,351 --> 00:00:30,451
I'm sure they have a word for closet.
16
00:00:30,554 --> 00:00:31,686
They're French.
17
00:00:31,788 --> 00:00:33,655
Maybe they went on strike
before they got to the end.
18
00:00:34,207 --> 00:00:38,743
Monsieur Pritchett,
welcome to the Crowne Plaza.
19
00:00:38,745 --> 00:00:40,178
I am Bernard Busse,
20
00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:42,914
president of the
International Closet Guild.
21
00:00:42,982 --> 00:00:44,649
Mwah!
22
00:00:44,751 --> 00:00:47,218
- Mwah!
- Oh, God. He made the sound.
23
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:50,154
And this woman needs no introduction.
24
00:00:50,785 --> 00:00:52,457
You are just as beautiful
25
00:00:52,559 --> 00:00:54,525
as Jay described in his e-mail.
26
00:00:54,627 --> 00:00:57,028
It's a pleasure to meet you, Stella.
27
00:00:57,130 --> 00:00:59,030
Oh, no, no. This is my wife, Gloria.
28
00:00:59,132 --> 00:01:01,532
I-I put you in the e-mail,
but then it was too long.
29
00:01:01,634 --> 00:01:04,102
Well, I hope to see you both
30
00:01:04,204 --> 00:01:06,437
at the cocktail reception in an hour.
31
00:01:07,151 --> 00:01:08,239
A bient�t.
32
00:01:08,805 --> 00:01:09,807
Adi�s.
33
00:01:09,809 --> 00:01:11,776
'Cause that's what we need.
A third language.
34
00:01:11,878 --> 00:01:13,578
We have an hour.
We should go sightseeing.
35
00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:15,213
- Maybe check out Notre Dame.
- No, thank you.
36
00:01:15,315 --> 00:01:17,849
I saw it back in the day,
before it was a shell of itself.
37
00:01:17,951 --> 00:01:19,650
Seeing it again would only depress me.
38
00:01:19,753 --> 00:01:21,152
Yeah, I know what you mean.
39
00:01:21,254 --> 00:01:22,754
That's why I can't shop at Sears.
40
00:01:22,856 --> 00:01:24,889
Manny, why don't you go and check us in
41
00:01:24,991 --> 00:01:26,557
since you disgraced this family
42
00:01:26,659 --> 00:01:29,127
by learning French instead of Spanish.
43
00:01:29,229 --> 00:01:31,195
And get that room that they promised me.
44
00:01:31,297 --> 00:01:33,464
Apparently some earl once slept there.
45
00:01:33,566 --> 00:01:34,899
We're so proud of you, Dad.
46
00:01:35,001 --> 00:01:37,635
Thanks. I only wish my old
man could be here to see this.
47
00:01:37,737 --> 00:01:38,770
You know, it's funny.
48
00:01:38,872 --> 00:01:40,738
He stormed the beaches of Normandy,
49
00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:42,306
and I'm getting a closet award.
50
00:01:42,409 --> 00:01:43,741
We keep topping each other.
51
00:01:43,810 --> 00:01:46,043
Who knows what Joe will do?
52
00:01:46,112 --> 00:01:47,678
Hey, w-what are you doing now?
53
00:01:47,781 --> 00:01:49,447
Well, you know, it's Valentine's Day,
54
00:01:49,516 --> 00:01:50,748
so I think I'm gonna enjoy
55
00:01:50,817 --> 00:01:53,351
the most romantic city in
the world with my husband.
56
00:01:53,453 --> 00:01:56,153
- Mm.
- Oh. Sorry.
57
00:01:56,222 --> 00:01:58,823
Phil can't come to Paris
because he has to work.
58
00:01:58,891 --> 00:02:02,026
It stinks, but I am still
gonna have so much fun
59
00:02:02,095 --> 00:02:03,360
visiting all my favorite places
60
00:02:03,429 --> 00:02:05,462
from the semester I
spent there in college.
61
00:02:05,481 --> 00:02:06,513
Real-estate emergency.
62
00:02:06,582 --> 00:02:08,482
Um, broker/client confidentiality
63
00:02:08,584 --> 00:02:10,017
fobids me from discussing it.
64
00:02:10,626 --> 00:02:12,920
The stuff I've seen...
you do not want to know.
65
00:02:13,022 --> 00:02:14,188
Correct.
66
00:02:14,223 --> 00:02:16,790
Look, if you want,
and you don't feel too awkward
67
00:02:16,892 --> 00:02:18,925
about being a third wheel, maybe...
68
00:02:18,977 --> 00:02:20,777
Ugh! Pity invite from Mitchell?
69
00:02:20,846 --> 00:02:23,113
How the tables have turned.
70
00:02:23,182 --> 00:02:24,187
No, merci.
71
00:02:24,216 --> 00:02:26,016
I'm gonna go find my favorite caf�,
72
00:02:26,085 --> 00:02:28,918
have a glass of wine, and try
not to be sad that I'm all alone.
73
00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:29,893
Okay, great. Have fun.
74
00:02:29,921 --> 00:02:31,521
Bye.
75
00:02:31,623 --> 00:02:34,224
Ooh-la-la.
76
00:02:47,035 --> 00:02:48,995
You know, I heard the bread here
77
00:02:49,075 --> 00:02:50,736
is healthier than the
kind we have back home.
78
00:02:50,776 --> 00:02:52,375
Well, how is that possible?
Bread is bread.
79
00:02:52,477 --> 00:02:54,310
You would think,
but it's actually the way
80
00:02:54,412 --> 00:02:55,511
that the grain is, um...
81
00:02:55,580 --> 00:02:58,248
No, no, it's...
It's the way that the... the ovens...
82
00:02:58,350 --> 00:03:00,650
Okay, look, I'm gonna have a
lot of bread while we're here.
83
00:03:00,752 --> 00:03:02,006
I need it to be okay.
84
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:03,686
I am so sorry.
85
00:03:03,788 --> 00:03:04,854
I think I'm jet-lagged.
86
00:03:04,956 --> 00:03:06,222
You know what? I might take a nap
87
00:03:06,324 --> 00:03:08,758
while you go out and... explore.
88
00:03:08,860 --> 00:03:09,892
Ooh! Oh.
89
00:03:09,895 --> 00:03:12,428
What was that? W-Why did your bag honk?
90
00:03:12,530 --> 00:03:14,397
I think that was a phone.
You know, that's how they ring here.
91
00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:17,567
Will somebody answer that? Hmm? Hmm?
92
00:03:17,667 --> 00:03:18,668
Don't be mad.
93
00:03:18,670 --> 00:03:20,069
Fizbo?
94
00:03:20,171 --> 00:03:22,205
My sweaters were too bulky to pack,
95
00:03:22,307 --> 00:03:23,573
but Fizbo made the cut?
96
00:03:23,675 --> 00:03:25,608
Oh, come on.
You know it's always been my dream to...
97
00:03:25,710 --> 00:03:28,278
to bring the magic of Fizbo
to the streets of Paris.
98
00:03:28,380 --> 00:03:29,445
You're not jet-lagged.
99
00:03:29,447 --> 00:03:32,115
You were gonna sneak
out and go clown around.
100
00:03:32,217 --> 00:03:34,117
You know that's not how we say it.
It's "clown about."
101
00:03:34,219 --> 00:03:35,318
I-I can't believe you lied to me.
102
00:03:35,420 --> 00:03:36,853
Well, I can't believe I had to.
103
00:03:36,955 --> 00:03:39,389
You know, most clowns have
spouses that are supportive.
104
00:03:39,491 --> 00:03:42,125
I'm not convinced
most clowns have spouses.
105
00:03:44,362 --> 00:03:46,362
Claire was about to meet
106
00:03:46,464 --> 00:03:49,499
Clive Bixby's French cousin, Claude.
107
00:03:49,601 --> 00:03:50,967
The plan was simple enough.
108
00:03:51,069 --> 00:03:52,902
All I did was create
a fake work emergency
109
00:03:53,004 --> 00:03:55,505
and wait for Claire
at her favorite caf�.
110
00:03:55,607 --> 00:03:59,042
Welcome to France.
What is the purpose of your visit?
111
00:03:59,144 --> 00:04:00,209
L'amour.
112
00:04:00,312 --> 00:04:01,644
Just answer the question, sir!
113
00:04:01,746 --> 00:04:03,046
Oh, I'm s-so sorry.
114
00:04:03,148 --> 00:04:04,514
Um, business...
115
00:04:04,616 --> 00:04:06,482
of l'amour.
116
00:04:15,665 --> 00:04:17,460
It helps to add a little sugar...
117
00:04:17,562 --> 00:04:18,661
Claude.
118
00:04:18,763 --> 00:04:20,330
Oh. Thank you, but th...
119
00:04:20,432 --> 00:04:21,998
this is, uh, not my real name.
120
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:24,300
It's my romantic alter ego.
121
00:04:24,402 --> 00:04:26,035
I'm surprising my wife.
122
00:04:26,137 --> 00:04:27,303
Not bad.
123
00:04:27,405 --> 00:04:28,504
For an American.
124
00:04:28,606 --> 00:04:29,939
Oh, really? You can do better?
125
00:04:31,476 --> 00:04:35,378
Many years ago,
I met a woman in this very caf�.
126
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,614
We had a brief but passionate affair,
127
00:04:38,717 --> 00:04:40,783
spending our days exploring Paris
128
00:04:40,885 --> 00:04:42,552
and our nights...
129
00:04:42,654 --> 00:04:44,387
exploring each other.
130
00:04:44,489 --> 00:04:45,722
Mm.
131
00:04:45,824 --> 00:04:47,223
Well, I-I once took a woman
132
00:04:47,325 --> 00:04:50,193
to both Disneyland and
Knott's Berry Farm.
133
00:04:50,295 --> 00:04:52,095
In the same day.
134
00:04:53,365 --> 00:04:55,732
On the day we parted...
135
00:04:55,834 --> 00:05:00,203
we promised to meet here
on this Valentine's Day
136
00:05:00,305 --> 00:05:02,038
to rekindle our love.
137
00:05:02,107 --> 00:05:03,264
Who knows?
138
00:05:03,675 --> 00:05:06,009
The chances of her even remembering...
139
00:05:06,077 --> 00:05:07,343
Oh, mon dieu.
140
00:05:08,546 --> 00:05:10,580
- Claire!
- Claire!
141
00:05:12,751 --> 00:05:13,883
Mmm.
142
00:05:14,251 --> 00:05:15,258
Bonjour.
143
00:05:15,284 --> 00:05:16,285
Hello.
144
00:05:17,088 --> 00:05:18,187
- Oh!
- Oh.
145
00:05:18,256 --> 00:05:19,663
I'm... I'm so sorry.
146
00:05:19,698 --> 00:05:22,001
"Sorry"?
H-How did you know I speak English?
147
00:05:22,226 --> 00:05:23,759
Have a nice visit.
148
00:05:26,964 --> 00:05:27,996
Excusez-moi.
149
00:05:28,065 --> 00:05:30,799
Um... ou se trouve, um...
150
00:05:30,868 --> 00:05:32,234
What are you looking for?
151
00:05:32,336 --> 00:05:33,702
Mona Lisa? McDonald's?
152
00:05:33,771 --> 00:05:34,836
Both are that way.
153
00:05:34,905 --> 00:05:38,106
Heads up,
the portions here are normal-size.
154
00:05:38,175 --> 00:05:40,609
H-How did you know I'm American?
Is my accent that bad?
155
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:44,579
We're dressed the same.
156
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,515
There's no reason to attack me.
157
00:05:54,174 --> 00:05:56,174
Hey. Where's Jay?
158
00:05:56,276 --> 00:05:57,642
I think he's nervous.
159
00:05:57,710 --> 00:06:00,211
He has changed his outfit three times.
160
00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:03,381
If this is what it's like to be
married to me, it's no picnic.
161
00:06:03,449 --> 00:06:06,584
We have a problem.
I have to show you something. Come here.
162
00:06:07,338 --> 00:06:09,020
Burl Saunders!
163
00:06:09,088 --> 00:06:10,955
Close. Earl Chambers.
164
00:06:11,057 --> 00:06:12,723
Jay isn't getting the award.
165
00:06:12,792 --> 00:06:14,959
He's accepting it on behalf
of his ex-partner, Earl.
166
00:06:15,061 --> 00:06:16,093
What?
167
00:06:16,196 --> 00:06:17,228
How?
168
00:06:17,497 --> 00:06:18,629
When the Expo called,
169
00:06:18,698 --> 00:06:21,132
Manny talked to them
because he speaks French.
170
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,400
At least, he thought he did.
171
00:06:23,469 --> 00:06:25,669
In my defense,
the French word for "hotel room"
172
00:06:25,738 --> 00:06:27,138
sounds a lot like "chamber."
173
00:06:27,206 --> 00:06:28,405
Oh, oui, oui.
174
00:06:28,474 --> 00:06:30,941
They said you're putting
you up in the royal suite.
175
00:06:31,010 --> 00:06:32,919
It used to be some earl's chamber.
176
00:06:32,954 --> 00:06:36,046
That's closet people for you...
class all the way!
177
00:06:36,065 --> 00:06:38,031
Ah. He's here. What do we do?
178
00:06:38,100 --> 00:06:39,933
Nothing. Tell him the truth.
179
00:06:40,035 --> 00:06:42,269
Jay's a grown man. He can handle it.
180
00:06:42,338 --> 00:06:43,737
Okay, but if he goes for my throat,
181
00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:45,539
be ready to dial neuf, un, un.
182
00:06:45,608 --> 00:06:48,475
That language.
It's like a bunch of horses talking.
183
00:06:50,896 --> 00:06:53,596
Look at this place. Everybody's here.
184
00:06:53,665 --> 00:06:56,399
Heinrich Muler of Berlin Closet-stadt,
185
00:06:56,468 --> 00:06:59,903
Susan Sadaki from Tokyo
Closets and Canned Whale Meat.
186
00:06:59,971 --> 00:07:01,271
It's a regular who's who.
187
00:07:01,339 --> 00:07:03,373
Yeah, even when you say all their names.
188
00:07:03,442 --> 00:07:04,541
You know, I gotta tell you,
189
00:07:04,643 --> 00:07:06,543
this award couldn't have
come at a better time.
190
00:07:06,645 --> 00:07:09,345
With my closet company gone,
sometimes it feels like
191
00:07:09,448 --> 00:07:11,781
I don't have anything to
show for a lifetime of work,
192
00:07:11,883 --> 00:07:13,016
like it didn't matter.
193
00:07:13,118 --> 00:07:14,517
But now I know it did.
194
00:07:14,619 --> 00:07:16,419
Yes.
195
00:07:16,521 --> 00:07:17,587
Wait here.
196
00:07:17,589 --> 00:07:18,873
I'll be right back.
197
00:07:20,689 --> 00:07:23,893
New plan... I'm getting him out of here,
keeping him busy.
198
00:07:23,995 --> 00:07:26,029
You go and talk to the closet people.
199
00:07:26,131 --> 00:07:28,164
Make them give him an award.
200
00:07:28,266 --> 00:07:31,034
Any kind of award.
He won't know the difference.
201
00:07:31,136 --> 00:07:32,635
- How?
- Bribe them.
202
00:07:32,737 --> 00:07:34,637
Blackmail them. Seduce them.
203
00:07:34,739 --> 00:07:36,506
Have I taught you nothing?
204
00:07:38,089 --> 00:07:39,177
Phil?
205
00:07:39,178 --> 00:07:40,920
- Claire.
- Claire?
206
00:07:41,159 --> 00:07:43,910
Guy? Oh, my God.
What are you doing here?
207
00:07:43,979 --> 00:07:45,211
Claire, you know this Guy?
208
00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:47,614
Well, um... I used to.
209
00:07:48,784 --> 00:07:50,583
What are you both doing here?
210
00:07:50,585 --> 00:07:52,619
I came to surprise you
on Valentine's Day.
211
00:07:52,654 --> 00:07:54,387
You know the guy on the plane
with all the face bandages?
212
00:07:54,456 --> 00:07:56,348
- That was me.
- Oh.
213
00:07:56,491 --> 00:07:57,890
Claire, do you not remember
214
00:07:57,959 --> 00:08:00,026
asking me to meet you here in this caf�
215
00:08:00,128 --> 00:08:02,895
exactly 30 years after we parted?
216
00:08:02,914 --> 00:08:04,346
Vaguely.
217
00:08:04,415 --> 00:08:06,916
I-I-I was crazy to think
this could work out.
218
00:08:06,951 --> 00:08:10,519
Of course a woman as
magnificent as you is married.
219
00:08:12,482 --> 00:08:15,057
I don't want to interfere
with your day of romance.
220
00:08:15,126 --> 00:08:17,059
I will wander our old haunts alone
221
00:08:17,128 --> 00:08:19,361
and return to my hotel
222
00:08:19,430 --> 00:08:22,309
in the ghostly embrace of our memories.
223
00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:25,116
- Adieu, Claire.
- Okay, cool. Bye.
224
00:08:25,219 --> 00:08:26,918
- Yeah.
- Let's go.
225
00:08:28,689 --> 00:08:31,289
- Alright, big day. Lots of plans.
- Mm.
226
00:08:31,391 --> 00:08:34,159
First things first,
getting into character.
227
00:08:34,161 --> 00:08:35,162
Oh.
228
00:08:35,229 --> 00:08:37,062
Claude Bixby,
229
00:08:37,130 --> 00:08:39,531
mustard magnate with a flair for...
230
00:08:39,633 --> 00:08:40,966
Uh, Phil... Claude...
231
00:08:41,068 --> 00:08:43,168
I-I love that you're doing all of this,
232
00:08:43,237 --> 00:08:44,903
but doesn't some tiny part of you
233
00:08:45,005 --> 00:08:47,639
feel guilty for ditching Guy?
234
00:08:49,642 --> 00:08:52,844
I mean, he did wait for me for 30 years.
235
00:08:52,912 --> 00:08:54,612
We could invite him for a glass of wine.
236
00:08:55,682 --> 00:08:56,714
Fine.
237
00:08:56,783 --> 00:08:58,683
But I'm warning you,
if he gets out of line,
238
00:08:58,751 --> 00:09:00,384
- Claude knows karate.
- Mm.
239
00:09:00,453 --> 00:09:02,687
And Krav Maga.
He's Jewish on his mother's side.
240
00:09:02,789 --> 00:09:03,888
Ooh.
241
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,561
Let's go this way, to the museum.
242
00:09:06,596 --> 00:09:09,427
Are you sure? I think they're
expecting me back inside.
243
00:09:09,496 --> 00:09:10,661
Make them wait.
244
00:09:10,730 --> 00:09:14,465
Why do you think the brides
arrive after everyone else?
245
00:09:14,467 --> 00:09:15,532
You're the bride.
246
00:09:15,535 --> 00:09:16,700
Yeah, I'm the bride.
247
00:09:16,769 --> 00:09:18,068
- Alright, let's...
- No, no, no.
248
00:09:18,137 --> 00:09:19,236
You know what? It's this side.
249
00:09:19,338 --> 00:09:20,571
- So, tomorrow...
- No, no!
250
00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:22,840
You know what? I'm sorry. It's this way.
251
00:09:23,598 --> 00:09:25,743
- Are you kidding me?!
- What?!
252
00:09:25,811 --> 00:09:28,078
How beautiful!
253
00:09:32,585 --> 00:09:33,717
Bonjour.
254
00:09:33,819 --> 00:09:35,119
B-Bonjour.
255
00:09:36,655 --> 00:09:38,588
Bonjour.
256
00:09:38,657 --> 00:09:40,424
Hunh-hunh.
257
00:09:40,526 --> 00:09:42,125
Oh.
258
00:09:42,194 --> 00:09:43,260
Pardon. Excusez-moi.
259
00:09:43,362 --> 00:09:44,695
Hunh-hunh!
260
00:09:48,934 --> 00:09:50,801
- Bonjour.
- Ooh.
261
00:09:50,903 --> 00:09:52,869
- Une table pour un, monsieur?
- Uh, ehh.
262
00:09:58,777 --> 00:10:00,276
Oh, Claire, remember that time
263
00:10:00,345 --> 00:10:02,512
when we snuck into the
cellar of that wine bar?
264
00:10:02,581 --> 00:10:05,315
Oh, God, we were so crazy and so young!
265
00:10:05,810 --> 00:10:06,816
Not anymore.
What's that, Grandma?
266
00:10:06,918 --> 00:10:07,919
She's a grandma now.
267
00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:10,820
Oh! Well, there's nothing more beautiful
268
00:10:10,855 --> 00:10:12,922
than a life creating life,
which in turn...
269
00:10:12,991 --> 00:10:14,223
Creates more life.
270
00:10:14,892 --> 00:10:17,927
Well, uh...
Claire and I should get going.
271
00:10:17,995 --> 00:10:19,461
I was hoping to get up to Sacre Coeur
272
00:10:19,530 --> 00:10:20,829
to get a view of the whole city.
273
00:10:20,932 --> 00:10:22,031
No need.
274
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:24,533
I have a rooftop garden
suite at The Peninsula.
275
00:10:24,602 --> 00:10:25,834
It's the best view in town.
276
00:10:25,903 --> 00:10:27,636
How perfect is this?
277
00:10:27,738 --> 00:10:30,306
Frustratingly!
278
00:10:31,008 --> 00:10:32,941
Alright. Here we go.
279
00:10:33,043 --> 00:10:35,243
Let's see here.
280
00:10:35,312 --> 00:10:36,411
Oh.
281
00:10:36,413 --> 00:10:37,679
Bonjour.
282
00:10:37,748 --> 00:10:40,048
In a few minutes, I'm going
to be performing in the square.
283
00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:42,551
Je m'appelle Fizbo.
284
00:10:45,322 --> 00:10:46,955
Lui, c'est Fizbeau.
285
00:10:47,024 --> 00:10:48,924
- What?
- He is Fizbeau!
286
00:10:49,026 --> 00:10:50,826
Fizbeau, okay?
287
00:10:59,936 --> 00:11:02,970
Guy, this suite is so beautiful.
288
00:11:03,039 --> 00:11:04,672
I think the last time we were in Paris,
289
00:11:04,774 --> 00:11:06,741
we had a franc between the two of us.
290
00:11:06,843 --> 00:11:09,077
Oh, God! Who's Frank?
291
00:11:09,145 --> 00:11:11,312
I've been lucky in business,
292
00:11:11,381 --> 00:11:12,947
less so in love.
293
00:11:13,616 --> 00:11:16,116
I guess it's turned
me into a workaholic.
294
00:11:16,185 --> 00:11:20,087
I must be in the office
10, 12 hours a week.
295
00:11:20,156 --> 00:11:21,622
Shall we have some champagne?
296
00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:22,756
Uh, no, thank you.
297
00:11:22,825 --> 00:11:24,358
I'm not really in the
mood for champagne.
298
00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:26,860
Lucky for us,
because there are only two glasses.
299
00:11:27,223 --> 00:11:30,497
- Ah.
- Allow me to make a toast.
300
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:33,266
- To Phil.
- Aw.
301
00:11:33,335 --> 00:11:35,101
For allowing me to spend a bit more time
302
00:11:35,204 --> 00:11:37,003
with the most generous
lover I've ever...
303
00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:39,172
Okay! I see what you're doing here.
304
00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:42,142
The champagne, the hotel suite,
that carousel ride.
305
00:11:42,177 --> 00:11:45,178
You two stopped laughing
every time I circled around.
306
00:11:45,697 --> 00:11:48,398
I'm sorry, buddy,
but it's not gonna happen.
307
00:11:48,466 --> 00:11:50,500
Phil's right. I'm a married woman.
308
00:11:50,568 --> 00:11:52,936
There will be no romance on this trip.
309
00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:55,038
I'm sorry. I've been a fool.
310
00:11:55,073 --> 00:11:58,308
I guess I let myself indulge in
a fantasy more than I should.
311
00:11:58,376 --> 00:12:02,878
Please, let us all pretend this...
312
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:04,113
never happened.
313
00:12:04,215 --> 00:12:05,381
Wait.
314
00:12:05,450 --> 00:12:07,316
Was that Poulanc's misdirect?
315
00:12:07,418 --> 00:12:08,884
Indeed.
316
00:12:08,986 --> 00:12:09,885
Oh.
317
00:12:09,954 --> 00:12:11,387
A fellow prestidigitator?
318
00:12:11,456 --> 00:12:12,465
Yes!
319
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:14,457
Put her there.
320
00:12:15,727 --> 00:12:16,926
Your watch, sir?
321
00:12:16,994 --> 00:12:18,327
- Looking for this?
- What?!
322
00:12:18,429 --> 00:12:19,528
Oh, no way!
323
00:12:20,139 --> 00:12:21,263
We should bounce.
324
00:12:21,315 --> 00:12:23,533
Tell me you're going to
visit Le Mus�e des Magiciens
325
00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:23,983
while you're here.
326
00:12:24,085 --> 00:12:25,150
- Ohh.
- The Museum of Magicians?
327
00:12:25,252 --> 00:12:26,452
I'm dying to go, but they're closed
328
00:12:26,554 --> 00:12:27,786
Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays...
329
00:12:27,855 --> 00:12:29,516
and Mondays and Wednesdays.
330
00:12:29,551 --> 00:12:31,189
Not if you know the owner.
331
00:12:31,258 --> 00:12:32,724
I can get us a private tour.
332
00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,793
Sweet! Claire, what do you say?
333
00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:36,161
We can pretend to saw you in half.
334
00:12:36,230 --> 00:12:37,450
Or just do it.
335
00:12:39,766 --> 00:12:41,032
Hello. Hi. Hi. Excuse me.
336
00:12:41,134 --> 00:12:42,334
Why are you dressed like that?
337
00:12:42,436 --> 00:12:43,768
Imposteur!
338
00:12:43,837 --> 00:12:45,036
Tu es un imposteur!
339
00:12:45,138 --> 00:12:46,805
You're... You're the imposteur...
340
00:12:46,873 --> 00:12:48,707
if that word means
what I think it means.
341
00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:49,834
He'd stolen Fizbo.
342
00:12:49,843 --> 00:12:51,176
The whimsically mismatched plaids,
343
00:12:51,245 --> 00:12:52,677
my trademark bold splash of pink,
344
00:12:52,746 --> 00:12:53,979
my blue lip!
345
00:12:54,297 --> 00:12:56,831
He'd clearly seen one of
my online clown tutorials!
346
00:12:56,933 --> 00:12:58,833
Hey, guys. Fizbo again.
347
00:12:58,935 --> 00:13:00,869
Just remember when you're
applying your rouge to go easy.
348
00:13:00,971 --> 00:13:02,437
You're an Auguste clown, not a tramp.
349
00:13:03,607 --> 00:13:05,242
You know what? Give me the jacket.
350
00:13:05,277 --> 00:13:06,307
Oh! I...
351
00:13:06,309 --> 00:13:07,745
I should've seen that coming.
352
00:13:07,780 --> 00:13:09,244
Donne moi ce mouchoir!
353
00:13:13,063 --> 00:13:15,332
- Touch�, monsieur!
- You know what? Give me my wig.
354
00:13:16,369 --> 00:13:17,635
And that's when it hit me.
355
00:13:17,737 --> 00:13:18,865
Ooh!
356
00:13:19,772 --> 00:13:21,305
"The Clowns of Europe."
357
00:13:21,373 --> 00:13:23,240
I got this when I was a teenager.
358
00:13:23,342 --> 00:13:25,342
It was my "Sergeant Pepper's."
359
00:13:25,411 --> 00:13:27,744
Clown after clown pushing the envelope,
360
00:13:27,813 --> 00:13:29,513
including Fizbeau.
361
00:13:29,615 --> 00:13:32,015
B-E-A-U!
362
00:13:32,051 --> 00:13:34,017
Here, I thought I'd come up
with the idea, but he was right.
363
00:13:34,119 --> 00:13:35,919
I was the imposteur.
364
00:13:35,988 --> 00:13:37,087
If that's the word.
365
00:13:37,156 --> 00:13:38,589
For my high school language requirement,
366
00:13:38,691 --> 00:13:40,023
I took auction-calling.
367
00:13:44,396 --> 00:13:47,163
Isn't Napoleon's tomb spectacular?
368
00:13:47,182 --> 00:13:50,183
Just so you know, when I go,
I-I don't need all this.
369
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:53,887
Look. That's Manny over there.
370
00:13:53,989 --> 00:13:55,121
No, no.
371
00:13:55,223 --> 00:13:56,623
I'll go get him.
372
00:14:00,195 --> 00:14:01,328
How did it go?
373
00:14:01,430 --> 00:14:03,229
Are they giving Jay an award?
374
00:14:03,332 --> 00:14:05,799
No. They said it would set
a very dangerous precedent.
375
00:14:05,901 --> 00:14:07,100
And in perfect English.
376
00:14:07,202 --> 00:14:08,535
Turns out this whole misunderstanding
377
00:14:08,637 --> 00:14:09,803
was completely avoidable.
378
00:14:09,905 --> 00:14:11,338
We need to figure out something.
379
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,173
Jay can never find out
380
00:14:13,275 --> 00:14:16,042
that Earl got an award instead of him.
381
00:14:17,502 --> 00:14:18,511
Wow.
382
00:14:18,513 --> 00:14:19,646
Look at this place.
383
00:14:20,148 --> 00:14:22,148
The craftsmanship, the architecture.
384
00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:24,417
They say the domed ceiling
acts as a whisper chamber.
385
00:14:24,519 --> 00:14:26,519
What does "whisper chamber" mean?
386
00:14:26,621 --> 00:14:29,022
It means I heard
everything you just said.
387
00:14:29,124 --> 00:14:30,890
I have to turn my TV up to 40,
388
00:14:30,993 --> 00:14:32,525
but that was loud and clear!
389
00:14:37,019 --> 00:14:38,532
Ah.
390
00:14:38,601 --> 00:14:40,300
Hunh-hunh.
391
00:14:40,403 --> 00:14:41,412
Mm-hmm. Mm.
392
00:14:42,905 --> 00:14:44,104
- Ah.
- Merci.
393
00:14:44,206 --> 00:14:45,305
Oh.
394
00:14:45,374 --> 00:14:46,707
It was easy to fit in.
395
00:14:46,776 --> 00:14:49,610
All I had to do was look good
and have a lot of attitude.
396
00:14:49,679 --> 00:14:51,512
Paris was just like one big gay bar.
397
00:14:51,614 --> 00:14:53,647
- Et voil�.
- Ah.
398
00:14:56,485 --> 00:14:57,885
Votre pigeon, monsieur.
399
00:14:57,953 --> 00:14:59,253
"Pigeon"?
400
00:14:59,321 --> 00:15:00,521
Notre sp�cialit�.
401
00:15:00,589 --> 00:15:01,655
- Ah.
- Bon app�tit.
402
00:15:01,757 --> 00:15:03,123
Yah.
403
00:15:04,894 --> 00:15:06,460
Yaaaaah.
404
00:15:14,436 --> 00:15:15,635
No. I can't... I can't do it.
405
00:15:15,737 --> 00:15:17,170
I can't do it. I'm not French.
406
00:15:17,272 --> 00:15:18,805
And I-I'm not eating that.
407
00:15:18,874 --> 00:15:21,174
This scarf is driving me crazy!
408
00:15:22,311 --> 00:15:23,376
E-Excusez-moi...
409
00:15:23,378 --> 00:15:24,477
Cheeseburger, that way.
410
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:25,912
Cool. Thanks, man!
411
00:15:28,216 --> 00:15:29,516
Wow.
412
00:15:29,618 --> 00:15:31,985
It's amazing how much magic
they got out of those old wands.
413
00:15:32,087 --> 00:15:34,554
Today, magicians have it so easy,
you know?
414
00:15:34,656 --> 00:15:35,822
Oh, yeah.
415
00:15:35,891 --> 00:15:38,791
Well, this basically feels
like a natural breaking point,
416
00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:40,026
for me, at least.
417
00:15:40,095 --> 00:15:42,661
Uh, Phil and I should
probably... you know?
418
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,113
If you must, but our tickets
419
00:15:44,182 --> 00:15:46,415
also get us to Le Mus�e des Automates.
420
00:15:46,484 --> 00:15:48,651
They're like robots, but very primitive.
421
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,353
They basically do nothing.
422
00:15:50,421 --> 00:15:53,255
Um, like the one I built
out of old mufflers?
423
00:15:53,274 --> 00:15:54,296
Can we, Claire?
424
00:15:54,325 --> 00:15:55,725
Oh, yes, can we, Claire?
425
00:15:57,128 --> 00:15:58,317
Excuse me.
426
00:15:58,729 --> 00:15:59,762
Hey, Gloria. What's up?
427
00:15:59,764 --> 00:16:00,996
I have a problem.
428
00:16:01,055 --> 00:16:02,057
Yeah, so do I.
429
00:16:02,066 --> 00:16:03,432
Apparently, I'm into nerds.
430
00:16:03,534 --> 00:16:04,767
It's Jay.
431
00:16:04,869 --> 00:16:06,402
He's not getting that award.
432
00:16:06,470 --> 00:16:07,803
What?!
433
00:16:07,871 --> 00:16:09,438
It was some kind of mistake,
434
00:16:09,540 --> 00:16:11,673
he found out, and now we can't find him.
435
00:16:11,742 --> 00:16:13,775
Oh, my God. Okay, I-I'll be right there.
436
00:16:13,877 --> 00:16:15,377
Are you sure it's okay?
437
00:16:15,446 --> 00:16:17,613
Uh, yeah, it's more than okay.
438
00:16:20,919 --> 00:16:22,451
Hey.
439
00:16:23,153 --> 00:16:24,285
Hey.
440
00:16:24,387 --> 00:16:25,687
H-How did you find me?
441
00:16:25,755 --> 00:16:27,655
Well, you're pretty easy to spot.
442
00:16:27,757 --> 00:16:29,791
Look, I-I'm sorry I overreacted, okay?
443
00:16:29,859 --> 00:16:33,027
If you want to be Fizbo, be Fizbo.
444
00:16:33,129 --> 00:16:34,862
I can never be Fizbo again.
445
00:16:34,931 --> 00:16:36,397
Fizbo is dead.
446
00:16:36,466 --> 00:16:37,665
Oh, you're a moving target.
447
00:16:37,734 --> 00:16:40,068
Look, I ran into the real Fizbo today,
448
00:16:40,170 --> 00:16:41,769
and he squirted me in
the face with water
449
00:16:41,871 --> 00:16:43,071
and hit me in the head with a book.
450
00:16:43,073 --> 00:16:44,082
What?!
451
00:16:44,424 --> 00:16:46,157
See, here, I thought I had created
452
00:16:46,259 --> 00:16:47,358
this special, unique thing,
453
00:16:47,427 --> 00:16:50,228
but I'm the one that's
been a fraud all this time!
454
00:16:51,064 --> 00:16:52,597
I'm throwing the suit in the river!
455
00:16:52,699 --> 00:16:53,898
Wait.
456
00:16:53,967 --> 00:16:56,033
That's littering.
There's a trash can right over here.
457
00:16:56,585 --> 00:16:57,818
Wait!
458
00:16:57,887 --> 00:16:59,586
Look, I-I gotta say, um...
459
00:16:59,689 --> 00:17:01,889
I don't...
I don't think you stole anything.
460
00:17:01,991 --> 00:17:03,123
What do you mean?
461
00:17:03,192 --> 00:17:05,125
Well, you said he hit you
in the head with a book.
462
00:17:05,227 --> 00:17:07,494
I mean,
I thought Fizbo was all about joy.
463
00:17:07,563 --> 00:17:09,797
He is. He's the embodiment
of childlike innocence.
464
00:17:09,897 --> 00:17:10,898
Exactly.
465
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,467
Fizbo would never resort to violence.
466
00:17:13,536 --> 00:17:15,703
This guy doesn't sound like Fizbo to me.
467
00:17:15,771 --> 00:17:16,971
Well, he sure looked like him.
468
00:17:17,039 --> 00:17:19,606
Fizbo's more than just
a-a pair of big shoes
469
00:17:19,675 --> 00:17:22,109
and an... un-sexy jacket.
470
00:17:22,211 --> 00:17:23,410
He... He's an idea.
471
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:25,379
If I've learned anything today,
472
00:17:25,481 --> 00:17:27,481
it's that clothes do not make the man...
473
00:17:27,583 --> 00:17:28,815
or the clown.
474
00:17:29,337 --> 00:17:31,651
And you are the real Fizbo.
475
00:17:32,859 --> 00:17:34,821
- You mean it?
- I know.
476
00:17:34,890 --> 00:17:36,022
Now, come on.
477
00:17:36,091 --> 00:17:38,058
Let's enjoy Paris. It's Valentine's Day.
478
00:17:39,195 --> 00:17:40,260
Mwah.
479
00:17:40,462 --> 00:17:41,467
Come on.
480
00:17:41,496 --> 00:17:43,396
Where did you get this crazy get-up?
481
00:17:43,498 --> 00:17:44,998
People are gonna stare.
482
00:17:47,135 --> 00:17:50,403
So... what was your favorite
part of the robot museum?
483
00:17:50,472 --> 00:17:51,671
Oh, man.
484
00:17:51,740 --> 00:17:53,139
I can't decide. You go first.
485
00:17:53,208 --> 00:17:54,407
No, you'll just copy me.
486
00:17:54,509 --> 00:17:56,242
I do that.
487
00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:59,779
Well, let's, uh,
let's just say it at the same time.
488
00:17:59,781 --> 00:18:00,780
On three.
489
00:18:00,782 --> 00:18:02,315
One, two, three.
490
00:18:02,417 --> 00:18:04,283
The mechanical monkey band.
491
00:18:04,352 --> 00:18:05,358
- Le jinx!
- Jinx!
492
00:18:06,090 --> 00:18:07,186
Double jinx.
493
00:18:08,256 --> 00:18:09,555
Ohhhh.
494
00:18:09,957 --> 00:18:11,023
Pour vous deux.
495
00:18:11,092 --> 00:18:13,759
O-Oh, my God. It's a painting!
496
00:18:13,861 --> 00:18:14,994
Of us!
497
00:18:15,096 --> 00:18:16,295
Merci.
498
00:18:16,397 --> 00:18:18,497
- Merci beaucoup.
- Merci.
499
00:18:19,137 --> 00:18:21,100
Is my... hand on yours?
500
00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:23,969
Yeah, but I-I don't...
think we did that.
501
00:18:26,157 --> 00:18:29,691
Well, um, I better...
better go find Claire.
502
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,160
Of course. Yes.
503
00:18:31,228 --> 00:18:32,795
Okay. W-Weird. I guess this is goodbye.
504
00:18:32,897 --> 00:18:34,463
You... You should have this.
505
00:18:34,532 --> 00:18:36,165
Keep it.
506
00:18:36,233 --> 00:18:38,500
You'll give it to me in 30 years.
507
00:18:38,602 --> 00:18:40,090
In our caf�.
508
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:41,670
I'll be there.
509
00:18:44,106 --> 00:18:46,408
Au revoir... Guy.
510
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:55,383
Hey.
511
00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:56,951
I talked to Gloria.
512
00:18:57,020 --> 00:18:58,686
Thought I might find you here.
513
00:18:59,169 --> 00:19:02,724
It's a shame, Notre Dame.
514
00:19:02,826 --> 00:19:04,292
The fire.
515
00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:05,426
Yeah.
516
00:19:05,495 --> 00:19:07,862
It used to be so
impressive back in its day.
517
00:19:07,964 --> 00:19:10,631
It's still pretty impressive.
518
00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:13,634
Just a shell of its former self.
519
00:19:13,703 --> 00:19:15,703
Best days are behind it.
520
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:19,340
It'll never be the same.
521
00:19:21,444 --> 00:19:25,246
It's taken some hits,
but it's still standing,
522
00:19:25,348 --> 00:19:27,663
and that's... that's grit.
523
00:19:27,698 --> 00:19:29,850
That's what inspires people.
524
00:19:29,952 --> 00:19:31,819
That's what inspires me.
525
00:19:32,888 --> 00:19:34,755
It's so embarrassing.
526
00:19:34,824 --> 00:19:36,423
The whole reason the family's here
527
00:19:36,492 --> 00:19:38,025
is to see me get that damn award.
528
00:19:38,127 --> 00:19:39,193
Oh, Dad!
529
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:40,828
You and I are the only
ones in this family
530
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:42,729
who care about closets.
531
00:19:42,798 --> 00:19:45,098
We're here because we love you.
532
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:48,602
Come on. Let's go
get ready for that dinner.
533
00:19:54,242 --> 00:19:58,211
45 years is a long time
to spend in one industry,
534
00:19:58,313 --> 00:20:00,146
and I've accomplished a lot.
535
00:20:00,248 --> 00:20:02,115
The whisper hinge brought serenity
536
00:20:02,217 --> 00:20:03,616
to the American bedroom.
537
00:20:03,685 --> 00:20:07,687
My glow knobs revolutionized
getting dressed in the dark.
538
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:09,356
And I led the charge
539
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:12,592
to standardize the angle of shoe racks.
540
00:20:12,694 --> 00:20:16,429
But the thing that I'm...
that I'm proudest of...
541
00:20:16,531 --> 00:20:17,597
is my family.
542
00:20:19,101 --> 00:20:21,468
Thank you for being here.
543
00:20:21,570 --> 00:20:23,236
I love you all.
544
00:20:25,207 --> 00:20:27,307
You're my lifetime achievement award.
545
00:20:27,409 --> 00:20:29,542
- Oh! Thanks, Dad.
- That's so sweet.
546
00:20:29,644 --> 00:20:30,677
We love you, too.
547
00:20:30,779 --> 00:20:31,811
We love you, Jay.
548
00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:33,013
Claire Pritchett?
549
00:20:34,116 --> 00:20:35,482
Jean-Luc?!
550
00:20:37,552 --> 00:20:40,587
I had a lot of fun here in college.
551
00:20:40,689 --> 00:20:41,788
What are you doing here?
552
00:20:41,890 --> 00:20:43,523
Um... how are you?
553
00:21:25,019 --> 00:21:27,409
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