Original subtitles

[Kotaki Kyoudai to Shikuhakku] Ripped & Synced by AlvinNo

It's 350 Yen for one cup of coffee.

- Out of 500 Yen, please. - Sure.

Your change of 150 Yen. Thank you for your patronage.

It was delicious.

Sacchan! Another glass of water!

Sure.

The water here is delicious. I can't get enough of it.

- It's tap water. - For real?

Must be your pouring then.

What?

What is it? If you have something to say, say it!

I don't.

I have nothing to say, but...

There's nothing, but...

You totally have.

Sacchan-san is working right now.

Your over-familiar way of accosting her is a nuisance.

There are no other customers.

I'm here. Over there, too.

Sacchan! Am I a nuisance?

Right now, it's okay. Since I have spare time.

Right?

- I appreciate your concern. - Don't mention it.

Jiro-san. What will you do about this?

Don't show me! I'll go blind!

I don't mind keeping it here,

but shouldn't you have a talk with your wife?

With me killing time here, maybe Yuka will cool down

and see reason again, right?

Why does she want a divorce?

Beats me. I can't think of any particular reason.

I didn't do anything out of the ordinary.

You had an affair.

Me? I didn't! I'm quite popular, though.

Then, it must be your wife.

Impossible. She's a simple one. Not the type at all.

Are you sure about her not being the type?

Are you saying his wife is the type who has an affair?

- Yuka isn't such a frivolous woman. - I'm not saying she's frivolous.

I'm saying that she must have many suitors.

She's a diligent, respectable, pleasant and beautiful woman.

She is?

That's why I wanted to marry her.

It was only a matter of time for her to want a new partner.

I'm curious, though. It's not like you know her that well.

You only met her at our wedding and maybe on a few other occasions.

You see. He was super angry with me at the wedding.

"How can a jobless man think about marriage?"

- You got married without having a job? - Yeah, since we got a child.

In our family, my wife is the breadwinner while I do the housework and take care of our child.

This is different from being unemployed.

It's a full-time house-husband, right?

Yes.

Not so much once you're divorced.

Excuse me. I think that's a bit harsh.

No, I'm simply speaking the truth.

I think it's harsh!

Go away already! Why did you have to come here!?

'Cause the Kotaki home is a drag. There's not even a TV.

I'm only letting you stay at my place, because Yuka is sick of your face.

You should be grateful and not be a nuisance!

Aye-aye, sir! Understood!

Pardon my...

Welcome!

Huh? Murata?

Here you are.

Murata-chan. You alright?

- Yes. - Did you get a thorough checkup?

- No injuries whatsoever. - Thank goodness.

- I'm sorry about my brother. - Don't be.

Sacchan! Sacchan! This person is the rental oyaji.

The name's Murata.

- Here. - Thank you very much.

The rental fee is 1,000 Yen per hour.

What brings you here?

Shizuko-san told me I might find you two here.

Shizuko? Ah, Bloody Shizuko!

What became of her, after that?

I usually don't pry into my clients' affairs once the job is done.

Unless they want to talk about it, of course.

Actually, there's another request I'd like for you two to...

Have a seat.

Thank you.

I wouldn't mind going myself, but I already have another request.

We have no intention of being a rental...

We should at least hear him out. Don't be so petty!

So?

The client is short of two older men.

I heard you two are unemployed,

so I figured you may have time.

I do.

Lots of it.

I'm taking a break.

I'm not unemployed, I'm just taking a break for certain reasons.

- Which means, you have time! - I don't. I'm reading a book.

Yeah, right.

He's just holding it, so he can pretend to know English!

I'm reading it! I'm actually reading it!

It's not right now.

Sunday. No more than three hours.

Just be there. Drink alcohol. Eat food.

Food and drink are free. And you still get paid.

Three hours for two people...

That's 6,000 Yen. Paid in advance.

Wow!

Bro!

No, this is fishy. It's too good to be true.

Me! I want to go!

- It has to be two older men. - Too bad.

I'm a free old man at your service.

I'm not biting. This gotta be some kind of scam.

I'd like the two of you to attend a wedding ceremony.

Translation: HPriest @ d-addicts Twitter: @hpriestsubs

2, GUFUTOKKU

Ah, that's the one. Here. Watanabe Family.

See, I told you! They've already begun.

All because you had to dilly-dally!

Your suits are lame, so I had to be creative.

Wait. The setting.

Murata-san said he was going to mail it to us.

Ah, it's here.

We're the bridegroom's relatives.

The bridegroom's relatives.

- Two uncles, brothers. - Two uncles and...

Wait! What else?

That's all.

There's gotta be more!

Like our origin. Our relationship with the bridegroom.

- Just go with the feeling? - Wait. Geez.

Let's check with him via mail.

It's a wedding ceremony. Just smile and dance.

You don't dance at a wedding ceremony!

I'm going in.

We're rental relatives!

What will you do if the bride's side finds out and the wedding gets canceled?

We're now going to have the wedding reception banquet

of the bridegroom, Makoto-san and the bride, Temari-san.

First, I'd like everyone in attendance to drink a toast

to the bride and groom, and their journey ahead.

Now then, if Shiratori-sama, head of the 4th sales department of the bridegroom's employer,

Miyake Corporation, could please give the toast?

Everyone, please stand up and hold your glasses.

- We don't have any. Excuse me! - Don't be conspicuous.

- Do an air toast. - Air?

Watanabe Makoto, Temari-san...

Congratulations on your big day.

( Praising his work ethic and diligence. )

Of the people here, which one?

Which one?

Are we the only two rentals here?

I expect even greater things from Makoto-kun in the future.

The bride, Temari-san

carries a new life inside her belly.

In this era of Reiwa, an era of declining birth rates,

it doesn't matter whether marriage or a child comes first.

Makoto-kun, Temari-san, and the one inside her belly...

...Reiwa-chan.

We pray for their everlasting happiness

and the happiness of everyone in both families. Cheers!

Cheers!

Thank you very much.

Everyone, please take a seat.

Excuse me! Two highballs and a bottle of beer.

Don't be conspicuous!

Thanks.

- Caviar. It's caviar! - Caviar?

Gotcha!

This is tonburi. Caviar of the land.

Will this marriage be okay?

The bridegroom!

Renting us as his relatives, he isn't exactly honest.

It's possible that everyone at this table is rented

and that the bridegroom is deceiving the bride.

Mako-chan is a swindler!?

Keep your voice down!

And why Mako-chan all of a sudden?

Since we're his relatives, it's gotta be Mako-chan.

You're too quick to close the distance!

Some people rather keep an appropriate sense of distance.

You see. I'm an uncle who happened to be there when Mako-chan was still a tiny pooper.

He was so adorable back then. Our Mako-chan.

The bride and that child, the newborn Reiwa-chan.

They'll get abandoned on the roadside!

Congrats, Mako-chan!

You got yourself a pretty bride!

We're Mako-chan's relatives.

Much obliged.

Have some juice.

- Allow me. - Thank you.

- Aren't you having too much beer? - It's okay. I'm thirsty.

Temari-chan, Temari-chan. Mako-chan told us before.

"She's too good for me."

- Really? - I'm serious!

He's so lucky and happy, it's like he won the lottery.

I'm happy, too. Very soon the child will be born.

So... about the circumstances that made you rent us...

I don't think this is the right...

I know. I'm aware of that, but...

When our child was a baby, our family appeared in Hiyoko Club!

[ famous magazine for mothers ]

- That's nice! A boy or a girl?

Daughter. First year in high school. Studying abroad.

Her name is Rikka. She's so smart and totes adorbs.

But if it's right under my nose.

A person doing evil.

What would it say about me if I were to simply look the other way?

Me too. I can't get enough of her even though she's not even born yet.

Look at you, Temari-chan. Already a doting parent and everything.

The intention of yours....

That thing called conscience...

If there's some sincerity in you, you should stop with the lies.

Reiwa-chan. I wonder who she will take after.

But whoever it is, I'm sure she's gonna be totes adorbs.

Well, I haven't yet actually decided on a name.

I mean, you do realize that you're lying to her and her parents, right?

Excuse me.

Huh? It's not Reiwa-chan?

That person said it on his own accord.

I see.

He wasn't supposed to go off script.

That so?

I'm also hired by the bride.

You two are rentals, right?

Stiff.

- Here. - No thanks.

In other words... this means...

The one who hired us. It's Temari-chan.

You're over-familiar again!

As a kin to Mako-chan, my love extends to Temari-chan.

Enough with the setting.

So the bridegroom is a rental.

The bridegroom and everyone on his side of the family.

As well as the bride's friends.

Which means, the only real people are Temari-chan's parents an relatives.

Why?

Don't know. Didn't ask.

You should!

I knew something was fishy.

You know what day it is today?

It's butsumetsu! [ very unlucky day / lit. "Buddha's death" ]

A wedding on a butsumetsu. [ very unlucky day / lit. "Buddha's death" ]

Weddings are cheap on a butsumetsu. [ very unlucky day / lit. "Buddha's death" ]

What I'm trying to say is that this isn't right.

Bro.

It's clear that Temari-chan isn't being deceived, right?

I suppose.

That's all we needed to know.

A happy solution.

Let's eat and drink.

Tonburi. Tonburi. Caviar of the land.

In any case, Makoto-san was a lively young boy who loved playing outside.

Yo! Mako-chan!

Handsome since childhood!

Thus, Makoto-san has been crazy about football since primary school.

The bride, Temari-san was born on February 14th...

She reminds me of Rikka when she was tiny.

The name Temari is derived from Ryukyu Temari,

an old Okinawan hand ball craft.

Wishing for her to marry into a wealthy family.

Wishing to send her off into a blessed married life.

With those wishes inside the temari,

it is a name that includes the feelings of her parents.

Wedding ceremonies, I like 'em.

When you multiply happy with happy, it's all-happy.

A happy starting lineup!

Temari-chan's...!

Papa-chan and Mama-chan.

You both. Drink! Drink!

You know. This truly, truly is a nice wedding.

Me too, you see. It takes me back to my own wedding.

Excuse me.

You're Murata-san's acquaintance, right?

Yes.

I'm also a rental oyaji.

Don't tell me. It's your first wedding as a rental?

Yes.

Is this a common thing?

Well, she actually reached out to extras and people with expertise,

but since we are here, her budget must have been tight.

The bridegroom alone gets like 50 grand.

We get 1,000 Yen per hour.

The bridegroom is pretty much a professional actor.

50 grand?

It's cheap, considering.

The bride. Why does she do this?

She wants to have the child.

The father?

He ran away shortly after they booked the ceremonial hall.

And her parents think it's a real wedding?

That's because she lives in Tokyo.

Since her parents live on Iriomote Island, how would they be able to tell?

It's set up so that both families are Watanabe,

which means she won't even have to change her name.

But that means she's deceiving her parents.

Oh my, you're a serious one.

Is that bad?

If this was a happy world where you can survive with sound arguments alone,

they wouldn't need people like us.

Anyway, do your best.

Bro! Bro! You gotta hear this.

- Thank you for coming. - Not at all. Thank you for having me.

- Thanks for coming. - For having me. I'm honored.

What's with all the tabi-tabi? Dad. Mom.

Distance!

They want us to visit them in Okinawa.

- We don't have much. - But we have space.

- We do. - Plenty of it.

Plenty he says. Wanna live there?

There's no way we can go.

- Why? - Why not?

We're family now. No need to hold back.

I suppose that's true, but...

Ah, right. I forgot that we're rentals.

Rentals?

We're running a rental shop. The two of us.

- A video rental? - These days, it's on-demand.

I see. Then what do you rent out?

It's called rental, but we do this and that.

Animals! It's a pet rental.

Right! Like dogs and cats.

- And chicks. - Chicks, yes.

- Live animals? - Chicks?

That's right. Live animals. It's raw or nothing.

The fresher the better.

Fresh?

Yes, you have to eat it while it's fresh.

Eat!?

Don't you feel bad for the dogs and cats to be eaten?

We're big into animal protection and oppose those habu snake vs. mongoose duels in Okinawa!

- Right? - Yes.

Temari, too.

You're right. The habu vs. mongoose shows are bad.

We don't eat them.

By fresh, I mean the cats' and the dogs'

and the chicks' fodder.

The fodder's gotta be fresh, is what I'm saying.

For them to grow healthy, every morning and every night we give them meals,

clean them and... chirp.

The next day, we give them food again. Clean and cheep them.

When you chirp and cheep them, they become cheerp, right?

We really want to chirp,

but we can't travel to such a far away place.

We can't. We can't go to Okinawa.

We also keep water buffaloes, so we get it!

We also can't really go anywhere.

That's the way it chirps! It's so chirp-chirp!

You're not dancing?

No, I'm fine.

Shouldn't you tell your parents the truth?

For the sake of little Reiwa-chan, too.

I haven't yet decided on a name.

Oh? It's not Reiwa-chan?

They're having so much fun.

I feel sorry for my parents.

They raised me with so much care, but I failed at getting happily married.

The more reason you should tell them properly.

Even if they knew, I don't think I'd be able to make them understand.

Tears wouldn't help either.

Back in the day, I wished for a lot of things.

I want to become an idol. I want to have money.

Pretty clothes. A neat apartment in Tokyo.

A happy family with a kind and handsome husband.

I got none of those.

I stopped counting the things I couldn't get.

I will make this child happy.

Nothing else matters right now.

Am I wrong?

If it was my brother, he'd say you're not.

You don't have to say it.

I'm doing what I want.

Unless I'm happy myself, I won't be able to make this child happy.

This child's happiness is my happiness.

The multiplication of happy.

Nice one.

You have a way with words.

I'm also going to make my parents happy via multiplication.

- You're going back to Okinawa? - Yes.

Once she's born, I'll smile and say we got a divorce.

What is it that you want in life?

I won't do a bouquet toss.

You can have it.

Shouldn't a girl receive this?

In order for you to get what you want.

Today.

I'm sure you already know, but it's a butsumetsu today.

A butsumetsu is a bad day for any kind of activities,

but since there are no activities,

it's also a good day to start something new.

In other words, what I'm trying to say...

Thanks!

I drank too much...

I feel awful.

Shabadaba, huh?

Sensei! Sensei, wait!

One last time, this equation.

It's the same as the others.

( math )

Ah, so you solve this and that via simultaneous equations?

Exactly.

Got it!

I don't get it.

That's because you don't use it regularly.

If you fail tomorrow's exam, I'll give you supplementary lessons.

- Don't do this to me. - You can do it.

- Speak for yourself. - Okay, see you tomorrow.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

( Incoming call: Jiro-chan )

What?

I was wondering if you're doing well.

- If that's the only reason... - There are no club activities during the exams, right?

Let's meet up after work. I happen to be...

Don't call me.

"I happen to be at the nearby train station."

Let me finish!

There's no reason to hang up.

Yes? Hello.

Yeah, the same place as usual is fine. Yes.

Okay, see you then. Yes.

Ichiro-san.

GUFUTOKKU

The pain of not getting what one seeks.

Ripped & Synced by AlvinNo