All language subtitles for Good Times (1967) 1080p BluRay H264 AAC-RARBG
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1
00:02:53,240 --> 00:03:03,239
What's that, Son?
2
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,276
- Hey, you wanna make a movie?
- Nope.
3
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:20,516
Why?
4
00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:23,879
'Cause I like what I'm doing.
5
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:26,799
I know, but let's just go up
and see what it's all about.
6
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:30,237
No, you go ahead. I got some things to do.
I'll meet you later.
7
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,795
Come on, bud, you don't have
anything to do.
8
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:35,480
No, you go ahead.
Besides, you know I hate business.
9
00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,553
It's not business.
I'll just go and see what it's all about.
10
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:39,875
No, thank you.
11
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:43,320
- Are you coming or not?
- No, thank you.
12
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:52,118
Come on, you don't have anything to do, you
just don't wanna go and talk to the man.
13
00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:54,954
- No, thank you, please.
- Know what you are?
14
00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,040
- What?
- A pain.
15
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:57,873
I know it. See you later.
16
00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,515
You are about to enter
Mordicus Enterprises.
17
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:52,712
Wipe your feet, please.
18
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,120
Mr. Mordicus will meet with you
in just a moment.
19
00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:00,674
You may proceed.
20
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:06,789
Splendid!
21
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,757
I'm really quite impressed.
22
00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:15,915
- I'd like to hire this man.
- Okay, you got him.
23
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,798
And please remove the debris.
24
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,315
Right, Mr. Mordicus.
You heard. Get him out of here.
25
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,875
My dear Sonny, how good of you to come.
26
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,798
- I'm Mordicus.
- Pleased to meet you.
27
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,952
- Will your wife be joining us?
- No, she couldn't make it.
28
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,953
- You just get half of the team today.
- What a pity.
29
00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,630
I do so enjoy young people.
It's one of my few pleasures.
30
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,793
That's why I take time out occasionally
from my activities...
31
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:39,360
to produce motion pictures.
32
00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,194
Making money has all but lost
its attraction for me.
33
00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:44,272
Actually, Sonny, I'm a simple man.
34
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,551
And therefore my proposition
is a simple one.
35
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:50,355
I propose to produce a motion picture
starring yourself and Cher.
36
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:54,276
- That's great. That's what we want to do.
- Fine. Then it's settled.
37
00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:56,556
Excuse me.
38
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,270
No.
39
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:05,995
No, there can be no extension on the loan.
40
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,837
Please tell His Highness
that they have exactly 24 hours to pay...
41
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,031
or I shall be forced to foreclose.
42
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:16,913
Those were the terms.
43
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:21,160
But don't you see,
Charles, that's the point.
44
00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:24,392
Why control a company
when one can control an industry?
45
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,791
Yes, that's final.
46
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,151
Small nations are such bad risks.
47
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:32,720
That's amazing.
48
00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:35,953
Business bores me, Sonny.
Motion pictures excite me.
49
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:40,639
And I must confess the prospect of making
a motion picture with you and Cher...
50
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:43,036
is something that I find most exciting.
51
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:46,950
All right, here's the thing.
We've had a lot of offers.
52
00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:51,912
But I would like to have something to say
about the creative end of our first movie.
53
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:53,600
Yes.
54
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:55,669
You must trust me.
55
00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:58,189
I know everything
there is to be known about you.
56
00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,833
But it wasn't until I saw this...
57
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,679
that I became convinced
of your potential for the screen.
58
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:11,436
I remember that.
That's the thing we did for television.
59
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:15,391
You're not the kind of guy
60
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:19,550
that make the girls all sigh.
61
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:23,595
And they never turn their heads and look
62
00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,394
when you walk by.
63
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:29,990
But, baby, that's okay.
64
00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,599
I love you anyway.
65
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:38,760
And I'd never change or rearrange you
66
00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:41,110
so stay that way
67
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:45,189
'Cause it's the little things
68
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,470
that mean a lot.
69
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:52,758
It's what you are
70
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:56,040
not what you got.
71
00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:01,436
Call my name and I'll come running.
72
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:05,235
Look at me and the clouds start sunning.
73
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:09,077
Hold my hand and you got me going.
74
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:12,831
Kiss my lips and my mind starts growing.
75
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:16,114
We've got a thing that won't stop cooking.
76
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,756
You turn me on just by looking.
77
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:23,635
You make me strong just by sighing.
78
00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:27,594
You can break my heart just by crying.
79
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,314
You're not the smartest man
80
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,960
that I've ever met.
81
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:54,992
Yet every word you ever said
I won't forget.
82
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:59,350
And so I guess that's why
83
00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:02,952
until the day I die.
84
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:07,631
Even when you're bad and make me sad
85
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:10,400
you're still my guy
86
00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:13,871
'Cause it's the little things
87
00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:17,560
oh, that mean a lot.
88
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,474
It's what you are
89
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,000
not what you got.
90
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:30,436
Call my name and I'll come running.
91
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,992
Look at me and the clouds start sunning.
92
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:37,672
Hold my hand and you got me going.
93
00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:41,438
Kiss my lips and my mind starts growing.
94
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:45,351
Talk to me and I hear singing.
95
00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:49,071
Walk with me and the bells start ringing
96
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:52,598
don't know what it is about you.
97
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:56,477
But there ain't no way
I can live without you.
98
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:59,394
Baby.
99
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,159
Exciting, isn't it,
seeing yourself on the screen?
100
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:07,432
But that was just a variety show.
All we had to do was sing.
101
00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:09,233
I'd like to do a story.
102
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:13,157
Oh, yes. A story. An astute observation.
103
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:16,155
We need a story. And we'll get one.
104
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:18,472
A good one. The best.
105
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:20,838
A mere detail, of course.
106
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,835
Mere frosting on the cake, so to speak.
107
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:25,912
I'm sure you know what you're doing...
108
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:29,038
but I think I could help
if I could work with the writer.
109
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,515
My dear Sonny, I must speak frankly.
110
00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:35,634
To create the right kind of story, I must
have the finest writer that money can buy.
111
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,633
Have you ever written
a motion picture script before?
112
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:39,756
No.
113
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:43,550
You see? Trust me. I propose a bargain.
114
00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:47,434
If the script is wrong,
you may suggest changes.
115
00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,756
You can create your own setting
if necessary.
116
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,951
Would you accept under those terms?
117
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,595
Yeah, on those conditions, I'd accept.
118
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:57,194
Fine. Then it's settled.
119
00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:00,551
The contracts will be drawn up
and sent to your managers for approval.
120
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:02,319
Okay. It was a pleasure meeting you.
121
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:04,551
Marilyn, would you show Sonny
to the door?
122
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,513
Please give my regards to Cher.
I look forward to meeting her.
123
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,000
I will. Thank you.
124
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:16,035
- Let's have a look at that script.
- Yes, sir.
125
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,116
All this needs is a new cover.
126
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:27,677
Maybe add a few pages...
127
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:31,190
and put their names on it...
128
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:32,630
in gold.
129
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:45,360
Hi, Solly.
130
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,955
On my table she has to design
her new clothes.
131
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,276
Don't yell at me. Yell at her.
She's the one...
132
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,198
You're her husband. You yell at her!
133
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:53,280
Hi, hon.
134
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:57,474
Cher, why? Why do you always have to draw
on the man's tabletop?
135
00:12:57,560 --> 00:13:00,280
That's okay.
You can just pay him a little extra.
136
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,152
That's not the point, sweetheart.
137
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,760
The point is he always yells at me
instead of you.
138
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:07,150
You get away with it,
and that's why you do it.
139
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:08,953
- Okay.
- Okay what?
140
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,754
Okay, you won't do it anymore,
or okay, you're pacifying me?
141
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:13,399
Okay, I won't do it anymore.
142
00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:16,558
Good. That's 16 times now
you've promised me that.
143
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:20,280
- How was your meeting?
- Good. We're gonna make a movie.
144
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:22,158
I really hope you know what you're doing.
145
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:24,511
I know what I'm doing, don't worry.
146
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:31,279
Hey, partner, come here.
147
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:34,760
Hi.
148
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,480
- What are you doing?
- Playing cowboys and Indians.
149
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:41,196
Yeah? How would you like it if I played
cowboys and Indians with your wife?
150
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:44,512
- I haven't got a wife.
- You're not married yet?
151
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:47,473
- What are you supposed to be right now?
- A cowboy.
152
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,911
A cowboy? A cowboy doesn't wear
his guns like that. Come here.
153
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,350
Let me show you
how a cowboy wears his gun.
154
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:56,393
Now you can draw. Try it.
155
00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,553
- Better?
- Yeah.
156
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,039
You want to draw on me?
157
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,274
Okay.
158
00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:07,313
We'll draw on each other.
159
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:11,594
Okay, stay there. When she counts to three,
we'll draw.
160
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,114
All right, you guys ready?
161
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,230
- Yeah.
- Yup!
162
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,396
All right, one..
163
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,075
- Cher, what do you think?
- What do I think about what?
164
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:19,160
Two.
165
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:22,039
- About me as a cowboy. How do I look?
- Ridiculous.
166
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,200
Three.
167
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:36,800
From out of the West...
168
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,639
comes the mighty saga
of one man's struggle...
169
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,235
to bring peace to a lawless frontier.
170
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:45,116
Of all the legendary lawmen...
171
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,830
one man sits tallest in the saddle:
172
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:52,320
Irving Ringo,
Sheriff of Broken Elbow, Nebraska...
173
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:54,677
the roughest town in the West.
174
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:00,600
To enforce the law...
175
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,990
he has nothing but raw courage...
176
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:05,273
and a fast gun.
177
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,000
Here on the frontier...
178
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:17,317
a man's reputation rests on a cool hand...
179
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:19,240
and a deadeye.
180
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,517
Say, Sheriff, need any bullets today?
181
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,836
- Maybe I can use a few, yeah.
- Okay.
182
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:46,038
You know, I've never seen any man
use as many bullets as you do.
183
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:50,160
You know how it is in my business.
A shot here, a shot there. It all adds up.
184
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,429
Say, Sheriff...
185
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:54,712
did you hear about Knife McBlade
breaking jail last week?
186
00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:58,353
- Last week, Knife McBlade?
- Yeah.
187
00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,478
You think he'll come gunning for you
for sending him up?
188
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,557
Let him come. I'm ready for him.
189
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:07,197
Say, Sheriff, I never seen anybody
wear his gun like you do.
190
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,040
Quickest way to fire a shot.
191
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,077
Throw a can there.
I'll show you what I mean.
192
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:12,833
- A what?
- Throw a can out there.
193
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,519
A can. Yeah, sure.
194
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:16,994
Okay, now stand back.
195
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:23,880
See what I mean?
196
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:25,235
Come on, Rover.
197
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,749
See that, Rover?
You gotta be tough and hard.
198
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,792
You just wait outside. I'll be right back.
199
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,395
Going in for a bowl of chili. Stay there.
200
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,556
Rover! I told you to wait outside.
Now go on!
201
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:47,749
Stupid horse.
202
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:57,756
Who's the creep?
203
00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,275
Ever heard of the fastest gun in the West?
204
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,431
And the toughest man in the West.
205
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,320
That's right, stranger.
206
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,110
- That's Irving Ringo?
- Sheriff of this here town.
207
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:08,999
Don't look so tough to me.
208
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:12,198
The last cretin who said that to Ringo
felt 30 pieces of lead...
209
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,755
- before he could get his gun out.
- Nearly killed him.
210
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:17,799
Irving Ringo don't know the meaning
of the word fear.
211
00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:21,430
Maybe it's about time for him to learn it.
212
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:22,480
Pass me.
213
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,837
Can I have a word with you, buddy?
214
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:45,912
The name's Ringo. Irving Ringo.
215
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,516
You know what I think it is?
I think it's Mud.
216
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,039
Irving Mud.
217
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,632
It's Ringo. Irving Ringo.
218
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,354
How's the chili?
219
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:12,477
Not that good. Something missing
in it today, I don't know.
220
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,038
Maybe it's Tabasco sauce.
221
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,596
You shouldn't have done that, stranger.
222
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,075
Knock that off.
223
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,311
You didn't have the nerve, did you?
224
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:44,799
Cross that line.
225
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:10,191
You still didn't have the nerve, huh?
226
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,875
I got a six-gun here
that says you're yellow!
227
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,394
Where's it say that?
228
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:17,270
And a trigger finger just
itching to prove it.
229
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:19,399
I gave him every chance.
230
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:21,675
Look at that.
231
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,671
Say, you got a bottle that breaks?
232
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:47,360
You had enough?
233
00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:01,910
Hey, that's it. That's what was missing.
234
00:20:07,360 --> 00:20:08,714
And stay out!
235
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:30,554
Irving, bubee.
236
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:34,433
Sheriff to you, mister!
Didn't you just see what I...
237
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,632
Sorry about that, ma'am.
238
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,639
You know, I'd like to
get to know you better.
239
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,200
I was born in a log cabin...
240
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:45,318
No, I mean, really get to know you, Irv.
241
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,392
Get to know her, Irv!
242
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:50,630
They like you.
243
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:53,354
Nice time to show your appreciation.
Right, boys?
244
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:54,480
Yeah!
245
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,472
Why don't you sing them a song?
246
00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:59,109
Come on!
247
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,272
Stop! No!
248
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,675
Shucks, ma'am, I can't sing.
249
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,479
Don't let that stop you.
250
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:16,392
If you think you got trouble
251
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,438
I knew a girl named Bubble.
252
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:23,795
She did a dance she called the paradise.
253
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:28,034
Ain't that nice.
254
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:30,232
One night she did her dance.
255
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,478
She had them in a trance.
256
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,878
Till some wise guy brought a safety pin.
257
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,479
Now she wears a grin.
258
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:45,834
Ride on, ride on your merry-go-round.
259
00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:49,511
Don't be afraid 'cause it won't break down.
260
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:53,590
Dance and sing and raise your glass.
261
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:57,278
Drink to the good times
and hope, my friend.
262
00:21:57,360 --> 00:22:02,116
That they last.
263
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,112
So if you're feeling blue.
264
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,112
It's really nothing new.
265
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:11,150
And here's a lesson
You should take from me.
266
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:13,598
Because it's free.
267
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:18,197
Just you remember, friend.
268
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:20,033
To find that happy end.
269
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:25,031
To find a pot of gold
Where rainbows shine.
270
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:28,557
You got to take the time.
271
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:33,639
To ride on, ride on your merry-go-round.
272
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:37,437
Don't be afraid 'cause it won't break down.
273
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:41,391
Dance and sing and raise your glass.
274
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:45,118
Drink to the good times
and hope, my friend.
275
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,238
That they last.
276
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,072
So if you're feeling blue.
277
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,152
It's really nothing new.
278
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,439
And here's a lesson
You should take from me.
279
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:10,354
Because it's free.
280
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:13,918
Just you remember, friend.
281
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:15,832
To find that happy end.
282
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:20,671
To find a pot of gold
Where rainbows shine.
283
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:24,430
You got to take the time.
284
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:29,233
To ride on, ride on your merry-go-round.
285
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:32,877
Don't be afraid cause it won't break down.
286
00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:36,876
Dance and sing and raise your glass.
287
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:40,631
Drink to the good times
and hope, my friend.
288
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:44,794
That they last.
289
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:56,999
Sheriff, I got a message for you.
290
00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:00,517
Knife McBlade and his brothers
are coming in on the 247 stage!
291
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:02,792
Irv, aren't you scared?
292
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,957
I ain't afraid.
Not while I know how to use this.
293
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:11,592
- Did you hurt yourself?
- No, it's nothing.
294
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,396
All right, all my deputies up here.
295
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:16,712
Luke, Sam, Pete, come on!
296
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,838
Come on, you guys. You heard the Sheriff.
Get up there.
297
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,873
Luke, Sam, Pete, all my deputies,
come on up here.
298
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,680
I'll tell you how we're gonna
handle this thing.
299
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:39,560
Irving, my boy...
300
00:26:40,360 --> 00:26:43,194
I've got a wife and five hungry kids.
301
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:51,514
Tough luck, Irving.
302
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,357
I'm awful sorry, Mr. Irving...
303
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:59,274
but I'd like to have a wife
and five hungry kids someday.
304
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:09,711
Sorry, Irv, I've got bad eyes.
305
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:13,673
Those are the breaks, kid.
306
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:18,472
My gun hand. My gun hand's gone bad.
307
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,955
My gun hand. I'm sorry. Really.
308
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,520
I'm terribly sorry, Sheriff.
I've got to pass.
309
00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:34,474
I'm sorry, Irv.
310
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,159
When you swore me in...
311
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,476
I said I'd never do nothing like this.
312
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:45,639
I ain't got no guts!
313
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:50,110
Crybaby-
314
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,640
I didn't want to be a
deputy anyway, Irving.
315
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,471
When did you make her a deputy?
316
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:02,840
Good luck, Irving.
317
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:16,316
Too bad, Irv.
318
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:17,470
- Too bad.
- Yeah.
319
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:18,994
Good luck, Irving.
320
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,117
So long, old pal!
321
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:27,755
Thanks, Irv!
322
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:49,155
Broken Elbow!
323
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:03,709
Come on!
324
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:08,760
Gotcha!
325
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,951
- Did he get me?
- Afraid so, pal.
326
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:17,000
What kind of a cowboy
do you think you'd make now?
327
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:18,673
Not that good, I guess.
328
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:22,000
Here's your gun, kid.
329
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:23,434
See you, Sheriff.
330
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:56,639
Hiya, Scoonge.
331
00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:58,635
Couldn't wait?
332
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:02,110
You want some?
333
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,832
What's the matter with you?
334
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:17,277
Scoonge, you're not a human.
You're just a dog.
335
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:19,676
You're just a little P-U-P dog.
336
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:23,630
Now come on, it's delicious. You'll
love it. Just try it one time.
337
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:27,913
Everybody's a critic today.
338
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:29,600
Here.
339
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:32,551
Okay, let's settle this like men.
Follow me.
340
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:36,239
3-year-old dog is gonna criticize my sauce.
341
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:41,269
- Cher, I need some help, sweetheart.
- I'm still not talking to you.
342
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:44,795
Bud, look. I brought you a present.
343
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,434
I don't want your present.
344
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:48,477
And take off that hat. You look ridiculous.
345
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:50,910
Come on, we shouldn't fight
in front of our fans.
346
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,879
- What do you mean? In front of what fans?
- Scoonge.
347
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:55,639
You're not funny, Sonny.
348
00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:58,673
You're ridiculous,
and I don't want you riding a motorcycle!
349
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:00,916
I'm just gonna ride it
on the side streets...
350
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:02,793
and besides, I look sexy on it.
351
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:05,036
Please tell me where you put the keys.
352
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:06,912
I'm not telling you where I put the keys.
353
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:09,191
If you wanna look sexy,
buy yourself a bikini.
354
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:10,879
Bud, look, here.
355
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:14,593
- How's that?
- What about it?
356
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:16,952
- What do you think of it?
- It's okay. Why?
357
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:20,954
Because I'm having an argument with Scoonge
and he doesn't think it's that great.
358
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:22,190
He should argue with you.
359
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:25,438
You're bad for buying a motorcycle
without me knowing it.
360
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,029
Come on, don't be like that now.
361
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:31,914
- Say, this is lovely. When did you do it?
- Saturday.
362
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:33,952
Take off that hat. You look like an idiot.
363
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:37,351
- I'm gonna paint your name on it.
- I don't care. Work on your movie.
364
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:39,869
Tell you what.
Tell me where you put the keys...
365
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:42,674
and I'll give you my very own,
very favorite statue.
366
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:44,837
I don't care.
I don't want your favorite statue.
367
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:47,998
I hate that statue
more than I hate your motorcycle...
368
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,072
because I think it looks like Mr. Mortimer.
369
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:51,913
His name is Mordicus and you know it.
370
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:54,634
How do you know what he looks like?
You've never seen him.
371
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:56,319
Good, and I don't want to.
372
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:58,950
Yeah? Just for that,
I'm not gonna let you meet him.
373
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,070
Big deal. I'm crushed.
374
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:01,753
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
375
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:04,674
- Well, don't ask to meet him then.
- Okay, I won't.
376
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:10,710
Don't think this argument's over
just because I've been interrupted!
377
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:15,160
Hi.
378
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:19,240
- Mr. Mordicus requests your presence.
- Mordicus wants to see me now?
379
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:22,796
Mr. Mordicus regrets the inconvenience
and begs your indulgence.
380
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:24,510
Okay, I'll come.
381
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:27,559
Mr. Mordicus also requests
the presence of your wife.
382
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:31,680
Boy, you couldn't have picked a better
time for that. Let me see. Hold on.
383
00:34:38,240 --> 00:34:40,311
How would you like to meet Mr. Mordicus?
384
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:43,677
You gotta be kidding.
After that big speech you just gave me?
385
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:45,638
- Who's out there?
- Warren.
386
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:46,796
Who's Warren?
387
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:49,475
He's kind of like
Mr. Mordicus' right-hand man.
388
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:52,558
- What does he want?
- He wants us to go see Mr. Mordicus.
389
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:54,597
Let Mr. Mordicus come and see us.
390
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:58,429
Cher, he can't. His time is more involved
than ours. Do you wanna come or not?
391
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:00,949
All right. I'll do it for
you, but I don't like it.
392
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:02,840
You don't like what?
393
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:06,038
I don't like this whole situation.
I think you're bending.
394
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:08,993
- What does that mean?
- I don't know, but we'll see.
395
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:12,390
Wild, huh?
396
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:17,833
- Where are the Batpoles?
- Come on, cool it.
397
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:21,676
- No, really, I have to find the Bat-room.
- Will you cut it out.
398
00:35:27,720 --> 00:35:29,200
Music ready?
399
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:31,319
Boy, this is really wild.
400
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:41,510
These are not the clouds I ordered.
This entire sky is wrong.
401
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:42,960
Absolutely unacceptable.
402
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,674
- You may strike the sky. I've finished with it.
- Yes, sir.
403
00:35:45,720 --> 00:35:47,677
- Atrocious sky, Mr. M.
- Hi, Sonny.
404
00:35:47,720 --> 00:35:49,712
- You must be Cher.
- Hello.
405
00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:52,033
What was wrong with the sky?
406
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:56,313
That's a delightful outfit you're wearing.
I understand you design your own things.
407
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:57,635
Yes.
408
00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:00,554
- Come on. Here we go. One shot.
- Get in here quick!
409
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:04,840
- This nose will have to go.
- I was born with it.
410
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,873
- Is it true you design your own clothes?
- Yes.
411
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:12,874
- Are the sets under construction?
- Everything moving, chief.
412
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:15,071
- Casting completed?
- Ready to roll in a week.
413
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:16,474
We're right on schedule.
414
00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:19,120
- That's about enough of all that.
- Right, sir.
415
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:21,392
Let's have it quiet on the set, please.
416
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:24,877
We're gonna have a press conference
in Mr. Mordicus' office in an hour.
417
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:27,919
Radio, television, and press
will be taken care of then.
418
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:29,912
You'll meet Sonny and Cher
and talk to them.
419
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:32,156
The rest of you folks, clear the stage.
420
00:36:32,240 --> 00:36:34,436
We want no one out here.
Sylvan, lock that door.
421
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:36,512
Please, ladies and gentlemen, if you will.
422
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,075
Clear the set, please.
Come on. Everybody out.
423
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:41,157
- Hello, Mr. Garth.
- Good morning, Mr. M.
424
00:36:41,240 --> 00:36:43,118
We're in great shape. This thing is a gas.
425
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:44,992
Sonny and Cher, your writer, Leslie Garth.
426
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:46,080
- Hi.
- How are you?
427
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:48,316
Nice to meet you. You're gonna love this.
428
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:52,119
Yes, seems about right.
Wouldn't you say, Warren?
429
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:55,837
Yes. It feels about like 90 minutes,
give or take an ounce or two, sir.
430
00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:58,913
Perfect. Production will begin in 10 days.
Warren, tell wardrobe...
431
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,674
Ten days? I didn't think
we were gonna start that soon.
432
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:03,274
Time is of the essence, Sonny.
433
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:05,716
It must be released
before the end of summer.
434
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:07,672
What's the delay? Everything's set.
435
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:11,515
Yeah. But you said if I didn't like
the story, I could make some changes.
436
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,638
Yes. You have a point.
437
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:17,033
I suggest a compromise.
438
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:20,955
Mr. Garth will tell us the story
in capsule form.
439
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:23,272
All else is embellishment.
440
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,319
As we've agreed,
it's the story that's important.
441
00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:28,397
Okay, fine. I'd like to hear the story.
442
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:29,590
Mr. Garth.
443
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:35,114
We open...
444
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:40,396
We open...
445
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:42,956
Big scene.
446
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:47,190
Steam shovels, derricks, bulldozers,
all plowing up the earth.
447
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,831
Lots of noise! It's
progress, see, symbolic.
448
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:53,356
Just the story, Mr. Garth. Briefly.
449
00:37:54,240 --> 00:37:56,072
Sure. I'm getting to it, Mr. M.
450
00:37:56,720 --> 00:37:59,360
Now, there's this boy and girl, see...
451
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:01,990
nice kids, but nowhere. Slobs.
452
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:05,232
They live in hillbilly country, you dig?
And they sing!
453
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:08,029
Even made a hillbilly record,
only it never sold.
454
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:12,200
Real tapped-out cats. No bread
in the bank. None in the house.
455
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:15,791
And not much house. Solid poverty, dig?
456
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:20,110
And that way we grab sympathy.
From right off the top, you root for them.
457
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:24,314
We keep laying in that misery
real good till you're crying.
458
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:26,239
Real tough times like...
459
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:29,559
they starve from no food.
The still won't work.
460
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,151
A neighbor steals their mule.
461
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:34,756
There won't be a dry eye in the house.
462
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,919
And when you think
things can't get any worse...
463
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:42,200
they do.
464
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:45,751
The anti-poverty people wanna put up
a housing development.
465
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:47,240
They wanna relocate them.
466
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,954
Most cats would jump at the chance.
But not our kids.
467
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:52,475
They love their house.
Even though it's a rat-hole...
468
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:53,795
they wanna hang on to it.
469
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:55,360
Individualism! Dig?
470
00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:59,271
They'd rather stay slobs
than let the government own them.
471
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:03,475
The government's coming on strong,
and our kids look like sure losers, when...
472
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:06,917
Another miracle.
I mean, right out of the blue.
473
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:10,439
One night, the disc jockey gets bombed,
the local guy, see...
474
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:13,040
and he plays their record by mistake.
475
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:16,956
And all of a sudden, they're a smash.
The hit of the world!
476
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,110
Now, for a real upbeat ending...
477
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:26,439
the kids zoom to the top, see,
nothing but loot...
478
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:29,394
but they're all heart.
I mean, they're real.
479
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:32,157
Now get this for a twist, will you.
480
00:39:32,240 --> 00:39:34,311
At the finish, the kids
hire a big-time lawyer.
481
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:37,120
He searches the records
and finds a loophole.
482
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,237
And the government can't buy the house.
483
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:43,109
Now, the kids put a lot of money into it
and turn it into...
484
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,998
a monument to hillbilly music.
485
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:52,437
I mean, is that great?
I mean, can you feel it?
486
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:55,158
I mean, is that custom-made?
487
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:09,800
I don't wanna hurt
anybody's feelings, but...
488
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:14,919
That story might be great
for somebody else...
489
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:17,592
but it isn't something we could do.
490
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:20,757
What didn't you like about it?
491
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:33,639
It's just something we couldn't do.
492
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:35,956
- You just can't do it. Why?
- Don't get emotional.
493
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:37,229
Writers are so sensitive.
494
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:39,198
I write a great ending, and she breaks up.
495
00:40:39,240 --> 00:40:41,277
You said this thing was all wrapped up...
496
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:44,472
It needs some work, but it's a sound,
tried-and-true theme.
497
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:47,877
Rags to riches. Always works.
Perhaps it suffers in the telling.
498
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:49,479
It's solid, Mr. M.
499
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:52,280
- Taylor and Burton would do it in a minute.
- No doubt.
500
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:57,676
I am telling you now,
there is no way we can do that story.
501
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:09,515
Our contract calls for a picture.
Not necessarily this one.
502
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:12,192
But we must begin in 10 days.
503
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:15,080
You have until then
to create your own vehicle.
504
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:19,558
And please feel free to call upon Mr. Garth
for any assistance that you might require.
505
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:21,710
Ten days.
506
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:27,149
For a genius, 10 days is an eternity.
507
00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:29,712
The world was created in seven.
508
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:31,792
You have three extra days.
509
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:35,592
And all of this to work with.
Make of it what you will.
510
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:55,398
- It's kind of exciting, isn't it?
- Yeah.
511
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:01,756
That's a yeah that doesn't
mean yeah at all.
512
00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:07,713
- What's the matter, bud?
- Oh, I don't know, Son.
513
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:11,398
Are you sure you wanna get mixed up
with those creeps?
514
00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:16,753
So he's a little weird.
515
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:20,557
He ought to know what he's doing.
He owns half of the world.
516
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:22,996
Yeah. I think he wants to own you, too.
517
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:29,510
- Have I ever steered you wrong yet?
- No.
518
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:31,120
Well?
519
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:35,800
I'm not gonna be a poverty-stricken
whatever it is I'm supposed to be.
520
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:43,112
Would I let them do that to us?
521
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:46,510
Trust me
522
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:55,034
all you gotta do is trust me.
523
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:03,112
All you gotta know
524
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:05,440
is everywhere I go.
525
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:10,637
Everything I do
I do it just for you.
526
00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:12,512
So trust me
527
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:19,674
trust me
528
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:29,793
'Cause I need you more.
529
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:35,875
Than I've ever needed you before.
530
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:45,517
Hey, my friend
531
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:50,716
don't know where you are.
532
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:56,036
But I'll be there
533
00:43:56,120 --> 00:44:00,831
I'll help you find your star.
534
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:06,679
There's not a face.
535
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:11,835
Can take your place by far.
536
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:17,159
So hey, my friend
537
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:22,150
I'm always where you are.
538
00:44:26,720 --> 00:44:28,393
Hey, my friend.
539
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:33,430
You know I like your style.
540
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:42,957
So I think I'll hang around awhile.
541
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:53,477
And I don't mean just a year or two.
542
00:44:57,360 --> 00:45:01,912
So I'll just spend my life, friend
543
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:04,955
loving you.
544
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:17,955
There are a million things I'd like to be.
545
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:23,798
Like sailing a ship across a stormy sea.
546
00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:29,318
A captain so brave
He's feared by all his crew.
547
00:45:30,120 --> 00:45:31,600
That's what I'll be.
548
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:34,274
How about you?
549
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:39,916
I like to ride upon a merry-go-round.
550
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:45,515
And be all dressed up
Just like a circus clown.
551
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:50,909
I'd hold up a hula-hoop
And you could jump through.
552
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:53,834
That's what I'll be.
553
00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:56,634
How about you?
554
00:45:58,720 --> 00:46:02,316
There are a million things I want to be.
555
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:08,432
Like sailing a ship across a stormy sea.
556
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:14,032
A captain so brave
He's feared by all his crew.
557
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:16,280
That's what I'll be.
558
00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:19,039
How about you?
559
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:22,389
How did I ever wind up
with somebody like you?
560
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:24,119
I don't know. Just lucky, I guess.
561
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:27,232
Well, tell me something.
What are you supposed to be right now?
562
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:33,397
- I'm Aladdin's lamp!
- You're the son of Aladdin's lamp.
563
00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:41,391
- I'm a magician!
- Oh, yeah? I'm Snow White.
564
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:48,876
Hey, Cher.
565
00:46:50,480 --> 00:46:51,755
Cher, I got it!
566
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:54,194
I'm King of the Jungle.
567
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:06,878
Boy, are you clumsy.
That's the fourth time today.
568
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:10,197
- So I lost my balance.
- How can you lose what you never had?
569
00:47:10,240 --> 00:47:12,709
Listen, that's no way to
talk to Jungle Morry.
570
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:16,071
- King of the Jungle...
- Stop with that king of the jungle jazz.
571
00:47:16,160 --> 00:47:18,720
- You're a grown man.
- Yeah? You wanna hear something?
572
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,315
Please. You could be the king
or the prince or anything.
573
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:23,119
Just don't let out those awful yells.
574
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:25,635
- Who says it's awful?
- Everybody in the world.
575
00:47:25,720 --> 00:47:26,915
Besides them, who?
576
00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:29,435
Besides them, we gotta get going.
What time is it?
577
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:31,437
I'll tell you what time it is.
578
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:40,754
So what time is it?
579
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:43,355
It's 11:00.
580
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:59,830
There you are, folks.
Take a look at that great wash job.
581
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:03,400
I've got a deal for you.
582
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:08,679
Me Morry. Jungle Morry. King of the Jungle.
I was brought up by apes.
583
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:11,435
I'm the only man who can talk to animals.
584
00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:15,432
- You putting me on?
- You don't believe me, huh?
585
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:17,392
- Please, believe him.
- Listen.
586
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:45,793
- Very nice.
- Thank you.
587
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:48,634
- How much for the wash?
- That'll be three fish.
588
00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:09,310
- That sounds like a lion.
- Good thinking.
589
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:12,916
- Don't worry. I'll save you.
- Please. Do me a favor. Don't save me.
590
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:16,118
I have to, or I wouldn't be
Jungle Morry, King of the Jungle.
591
00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:19,358
Leave the poor thing alone.
He's tired of wrestling you every day...
592
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:22,353
- for crying out loud.
- Don't panic. I'll get him.
593
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:57,240
Will you come on
and get this thing over with?
594
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:07,797
Morry, please, leave him alone.
595
00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:10,917
Beat it. This is your lucky day.
596
00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:46,836
Would you stop acting like an idiot?
597
00:50:48,240 --> 00:50:51,119
- What's for dinner?
- I thought we'd call Jungle Delight.
598
00:50:51,200 --> 00:50:52,520
Jungle Delight?
599
00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:55,832
What do you do all day?
I can't get a home-cooked meal.
600
00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:58,992
Look, you knew when you met me
I wasn't the domestic type.
601
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:01,993
Forget the one-liners, will you?
Just get my robe.
602
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:08,954
Jungle Delight. I hate it.
603
00:51:14,240 --> 00:51:16,152
And now, in living color...
604
00:51:16,240 --> 00:51:19,631
the exciting adventures of Jungle Gino.
605
00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:23,110
- Come here, quick!
- What's the matter? What's wrong?
606
00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:25,152
What's wrong? It's that fake again.
607
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:26,950
That phony.
608
00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:29,996
That impostor.
I got a good mind to sue him.
609
00:51:30,040 --> 00:51:32,600
Morry, will you forget it? Just relax.
610
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:34,393
They look at you one time.
611
00:51:34,720 --> 00:51:36,996
He's not even using a real vine.
612
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:40,955
Stupid jerk.
613
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:43,993
"Managed to send the message
to his faithful monkey Jerome."
614
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:47,397
We look now as faithful monkey Jerome
tries to chew through the rope.
615
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:49,631
Where's my faithful companion, Pizza?
616
00:51:49,720 --> 00:51:52,440
How am I supposed to know?
He said he was going for a walk.
617
00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:55,314
A walk! Where's he got to walk to?
618
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:01,389
Pizza!
619
00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:11,237
Read them and weep, baby.
The dice are mine today.
620
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:13,960
There, that's the rent.
Now for the grocery.
621
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:15,275
Pizza!
622
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:17,795
Man. What's that cat want now?
623
00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:20,317
Come to me, green stuff.
624
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:21,999
Shut up and shoot.
625
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:23,800
Coming UP-
626
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:27,309
That's 28 straight.
627
00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:29,398
This is incroyable.
628
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:30,790
How about that?
629
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:34,038
Okay, the points say eight from the table.
630
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:35,440
Coming UP-
631
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:38,589
I can't stand it.
632
00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:40,751
- What is this?
- Those are new dice.
633
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:43,833
- And they're loaded.
- You guys are sore losers.
634
00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:46,237
You always win 'cause you cheat.
635
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:47,595
I'm gonna belt somebody!
636
00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:49,194
Stand back, you big baboon!
637
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:50,873
Belt you right in the mouth.
638
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:34,071
Can't you wait
till you get through with dinner?
639
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:37,557
He's one of my dearest friends.
How often do I get to see him?
640
00:53:37,600 --> 00:53:39,398
Hi, Pizza.
641
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:41,753
Play a little checkers?
642
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:05,832
Not that one, stupid.
643
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:09,833
If you're gonna watch a game, don't kibitz.
644
00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:35,234
That's the stupidest thing
you've done all day.
645
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:37,039
What do you mean?
646
00:54:43,840 --> 00:54:46,514
I told you,
I don't want animals in this house.
647
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:48,320
Sore loser.
648
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:51,996
I can't concentrate when somebody watches
every move I make.
649
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:54,356
I want you to have a talk with the kid.
650
00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:56,716
He's still hanging out with that bad crowd.
651
00:54:56,760 --> 00:54:59,434
Don't worry,
it's just a stage he's going through.
652
00:54:59,520 --> 00:55:03,196
You never pay him any attention. At least
you can talk to him once in a while.
653
00:55:03,240 --> 00:55:05,357
Hi, kid! How are you doing, kid?
654
00:55:05,440 --> 00:55:08,990
I don't mean yell out the window.
I mean go down and have a talk with him.
655
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:10,355
You nag!
656
00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:12,238
I'll give you a nag.
657
00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:22,398
How you doing, boy?
How you coming with that dugout canoe?
658
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:24,472
Got it finished yet, kid?
659
00:55:24,640 --> 00:55:27,474
It's about half done. How do you like it?
660
00:55:30,720 --> 00:55:32,632
That's a nice thing, boy.
661
00:55:32,840 --> 00:55:35,355
Boy, the school asked me to talk to you
about your hair.
662
00:55:35,440 --> 00:55:37,079
Why do you have to wear it so short?
663
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:39,117
It's a fad. Everybody's wearing...
664
00:55:39,200 --> 00:55:43,080
Yeah, but, boy, it doesn't look good.
It doesn't look clean.
665
00:55:43,160 --> 00:55:45,436
It looks like
you're rebelling against something.
666
00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:48,399
Boy, what's going to become of you?
667
00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:52,556
Don't worry, J.M.,
it's just a stage I'm going through.
668
00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:55,594
What is that? What is it?
669
00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:59,031
Jungle Morry, there's a message for you.
I think it's urgent.
670
00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:24,195
There it is. At last.
671
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:26,752
The elephants' graveyard.
672
00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:30,551
Enough ivory to bring untold riches.
673
00:56:31,720 --> 00:56:33,359
And it's all mine.
674
00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:37,191
All right, men. Move in and take it.
675
00:56:43,280 --> 00:56:44,600
Turn back.
676
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:48,160
Only elephants allowed
in Elephants' Graveyard.
677
00:56:48,240 --> 00:56:50,197
Out of my way, clown.
678
00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:53,717
Not clown.
Jungle Morry, King of the Jungle.
679
00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:55,354
I was brought up by the apes.
680
00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:58,000
I'm the only man
that can talk to the animals.
681
00:56:58,080 --> 00:56:59,480
Now what do you think?
682
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:02,513
Out of my way,
or I'll be forced to dispose of you.
683
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:03,630
You don't understand.
684
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:06,240
All I got to do is yell
out there one time...
685
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:08,511
and every animal in this jungle
will come running.
686
00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:11,195
That's worse than a freeway.
You'll get trampled.
687
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:14,836
I detest violence,
but you leave me no alternative.
688
00:57:15,480 --> 00:57:16,755
Gentlemen.
689
00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:19,190
All right. Don't say I didn't warn you.
690
00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:35,917
Don't say I didn't warn you.
691
00:57:57,760 --> 00:58:02,357
Say, fellows. A little help, fellows!
Not kidding.
692
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:05,320
Up and at 'em, boys. Let's go!
693
00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:09,513
A joke's a joke.
Come on, fellows, I'm serious!
694
00:58:09,560 --> 00:58:10,560
After him!
695
00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:34,829
Zora!
696
00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:03,393
What do you want?
697
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:07,116
What a day. Oh, man.
698
00:59:15,640 --> 00:59:17,393
Get over here, Scoonge.
699
00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:19,511
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
700
00:59:19,720 --> 00:59:21,313
Who's Zora, Son?
701
00:59:21,640 --> 00:59:24,633
Zora is a very important lady in my life.
702
00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:27,991
You're not gonna have any life
if you don't tell me who she is.
703
00:59:28,040 --> 00:59:31,112
Tell you what. You tell me
where you put my motorcycle keys...
704
00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:33,391
and I'll tell you who Zora is.
705
00:59:33,640 --> 00:59:34,960
Make you a better deal.
706
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:38,596
I won't break that statue over your head
if you tell me who she is.
707
00:59:38,720 --> 00:59:42,999
All right, I dreamt I was Jungle Morry
and you were his girl companion, Zora...
708
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:45,675
and we lived off the fat of the jungle.
709
00:59:45,760 --> 00:59:47,672
Why'd you have to pick a name like Zora?
710
00:59:47,760 --> 00:59:49,513
I didn't, it came with the dream.
711
00:59:49,560 --> 00:59:50,676
Where are you going?
712
00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:53,195
I'm just gonna check the bike.
I'll be right back.
713
00:59:53,280 --> 00:59:56,352
- What am I supposed to do?
- I'll be right back.
714
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:30,677
Don't talk to strangers, baby.
715
01:00:32,680 --> 01:00:37,550
Watch out for dangers, baby
716
01:00:39,040 --> 01:00:42,590
can't let anybody
717
01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:48,758
break
718
01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:51,355
your heart.
719
01:00:56,320 --> 01:01:00,394
Don't think I'm trying to guide you.
720
01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:05,915
Protect or trying to hide you.
721
01:01:08,240 --> 01:01:12,029
I just don't want my baby
722
01:01:12,280 --> 01:01:17,230
torn
723
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:19,790
apart.
724
01:01:24,920 --> 01:01:26,877
I want
725
01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:30,435
the same things as you do.
726
01:01:33,240 --> 01:01:36,438
The whole world to hear you.
727
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:42,190
And to see what I see.
728
01:01:46,680 --> 01:01:48,512
Someday.
729
01:01:50,560 --> 01:01:53,837
Your dreams will all come true.
730
01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:59,113
But watch me run, too
731
01:02:01,440 --> 01:02:06,356
'Cause you gotta be free.
732
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:14,471
Don't talk to strangers, baby.
733
01:02:16,240 --> 01:02:20,553
Watch out for dangers, baby
734
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:25,836
can't let anybody
735
01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:31,235
break
736
01:02:31,280 --> 01:02:33,670
your heart.
737
01:02:36,120 --> 01:02:38,874
Break your heart.
738
01:02:56,640 --> 01:02:58,313
Here you go, Scoonge.
739
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:00,792
You wanna watch some TV?
740
01:03:05,480 --> 01:03:07,039
Look, it's your favorite program.
741
01:03:07,120 --> 01:03:09,999
On tonight's exciting episode, the green...
742
01:03:10,160 --> 01:03:12,152
I don't believe you two.
743
01:03:14,160 --> 01:03:16,675
Why don't you get him his own car?
744
01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:19,911
Scoongey thinks you should be a detective.
745
01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:22,196
I don't wanna be a detective.
746
01:03:22,360 --> 01:03:24,192
He thinks you'd make a great detective.
747
01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:26,915
How would Scoongey know
what kind of a detective I'd make?
748
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:28,992
'Cause he thinks you can do anything.
749
01:03:29,080 --> 01:03:30,673
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
750
01:03:38,400 --> 01:03:40,517
So far-out, it might work.
751
01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:44,392
Wouldn't that be wild? Me, a private eye.
752
01:03:45,520 --> 01:03:47,557
All I'd have to do is learn how to sneer.
753
01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:54,600
Why not? I got the looks for it.
754
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:08,994
It had been a tough day.
Exciting, but tough.
755
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:10,713
In this business, they all are.
756
01:04:10,760 --> 01:04:14,549
The name's Pitzaccatto.
Johnny Pitzaccatto, Private Eye.
757
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:24,433
It was 8: 15, maybe 8:20. Possibly 8:40.
758
01:04:24,720 --> 01:04:27,235
With a cheap watch, you can't tell.
759
01:04:47,240 --> 01:04:49,835
- Who let you in, mister?
- I came here to warn you.
760
01:04:49,920 --> 01:04:53,960
One of Xeruthian's killers followed me and
will be here any second. What do you think?
761
01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:01,753
I think you ought to knock
next time you come through that door.
762
01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:04,190
There's no time.
He's after you, but he'll kill me...
763
01:05:04,280 --> 01:05:05,680
because I know what they're up to.
764
01:05:05,760 --> 01:05:09,151
They'll still be after you,
and I won't be able to tell you anything.
765
01:05:09,200 --> 01:05:11,760
- Do you mind repeating that, baby?
- There's no time!
766
01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:14,395
Why not? It's only 8: 15. Maybe 8:20.
767
01:05:14,440 --> 01:05:16,272
- Please!
- Possibly 8:40.
768
01:05:16,320 --> 01:05:19,119
All right, wait in here. I'll handle this.
769
01:05:35,880 --> 01:05:37,678
Where is she, Pitzaccatto?
770
01:05:38,320 --> 01:05:40,391
Mr. Pitzaccatto, baby cakes.
771
01:05:55,720 --> 01:05:57,074
Hey!
772
01:06:04,400 --> 01:06:06,596
All right, which one is she?
773
01:06:07,840 --> 01:06:09,559
How should I know?
774
01:06:12,840 --> 01:06:15,912
- I only met her today.
- Save me, Johnny, save me!
775
01:06:19,840 --> 01:06:23,072
- That's my third window this week.
- You saved me!
776
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:26,511
- All right, baby, what's this all about?
- Xeruthian, the crime lord...
777
01:06:35,520 --> 01:06:37,716
That can really be painful.
778
01:06:47,360 --> 01:06:49,397
Decisions. All day, decisions.
779
01:07:00,800 --> 01:07:03,110
Good evening, Mr. Pitzaccatto.
780
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:18,552
- Hello, Johnny. I called you last night.
- Don't call me, I'll call you, frog legs.
781
01:07:24,920 --> 01:07:25,956
Yes?
782
01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:29,437
- A table in the main room, baby cakes.
- Reservations only.
783
01:07:31,240 --> 01:07:33,994
Got a table in the main room, baby cakes?
784
01:07:34,800 --> 01:07:37,190
I'll see if I can squeeze you in.
785
01:07:42,640 --> 01:07:44,199
Yes, gentlemen?
786
01:07:45,120 --> 01:07:48,079
You got a table in the main room?
787
01:07:50,960 --> 01:07:53,236
I'll see what I can do.
Step this way, gentlemen.
788
01:07:53,280 --> 01:07:55,476
You ought to give up smoking.
789
01:08:10,520 --> 01:08:13,319
Keep an eye on him.
Don't let him get out of sight.
790
01:08:13,440 --> 01:08:15,511
When he leaves, we take him.
791
01:08:17,640 --> 01:08:23,079
And there ain't no one
Who can ever put me through.
792
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:26,959
Those changes like you do.
793
01:08:30,240 --> 01:08:34,553
And no one can make me
Feel so bad.
794
01:08:35,920 --> 01:08:37,991
I wanna die.
795
01:08:40,280 --> 01:08:44,035
No one could look at me
The way that you do.
796
01:08:45,400 --> 01:08:49,235
And get me high.
797
01:08:50,640 --> 01:08:52,757
That's why That's why.
798
01:08:53,320 --> 01:08:55,835
That's why That's why.
799
01:08:58,080 --> 01:09:01,391
I've gotta have you.
800
01:09:01,840 --> 01:09:04,275
I've just gotta have you.
801
01:09:05,720 --> 01:09:07,916
I'm gonna get you.
802
01:09:09,920 --> 01:09:11,912
I've gotta have you.
803
01:09:18,560 --> 01:09:22,998
Till the day I die.
804
01:09:24,080 --> 01:09:26,197
I won't be satisfied.
805
01:09:26,320 --> 01:09:29,711
Till the day I die.
806
01:09:41,480 --> 01:09:43,995
What was that? Your own floorshow?
807
01:09:46,240 --> 01:09:48,311
See those two punks over there?
808
01:09:48,400 --> 01:09:50,392
They're tailing me, baby.
809
01:09:50,560 --> 01:09:53,871
Johnny, have you ever thought
of getting into some other kind of work?
810
01:09:53,920 --> 01:09:56,754
A man's gotta stick to the work
he knows best.
811
01:09:56,800 --> 01:10:00,316
That's what I mean. This private
eye stuff is getting us nowhere.
812
01:10:00,400 --> 01:10:03,279
Look, Sam, I told you a hundred times...
813
01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:06,593
next case I solve... Bang! We get married.
814
01:10:07,120 --> 01:10:10,238
That's what I mean.
You told me a hundred times.
815
01:10:10,880 --> 01:10:13,554
What's the hurry, Sam? You're only 19.
816
01:10:13,920 --> 01:10:17,800
Yeah, but we've been engaged seven years.
People are beginning to talk.
817
01:10:18,880 --> 01:10:22,191
Not as much as they talked
when we first got engaged.
818
01:10:26,440 --> 01:10:28,193
Maybe you're right.
819
01:10:28,640 --> 01:10:31,200
Maybe I ought to get
into some other racket.
820
01:10:31,280 --> 01:10:34,273
No, you'll never be happy.
It's in your blood.
821
01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:37,000
You spent too many years in the force.
822
01:10:37,280 --> 01:10:39,272
Yeah, I was the best, too.
823
01:10:39,760 --> 01:10:41,831
Why did they kick you out?
824
01:10:41,920 --> 01:10:44,515
I still think the police commissioner
was behind it.
825
01:10:44,600 --> 01:10:48,480
- Yeah, but he's your uncle.
- Politics. It can happen to anybody.
826
01:10:48,600 --> 01:10:50,910
Come on. We'll get him outside.
827
01:10:55,280 --> 01:10:57,840
Looks like I gotta go to work, Sam.
828
01:11:00,160 --> 01:11:01,719
Don't go away.
829
01:11:29,240 --> 01:11:32,711
Are you sure it was politics
that got you kicked out of the force?
830
01:11:53,280 --> 01:11:54,509
Come on!
831
01:11:54,800 --> 01:11:55,916
Get going, chief!
832
01:11:56,040 --> 01:11:58,271
Come over here!
833
01:11:58,680 --> 01:12:00,080
Come on!
834
01:12:03,360 --> 01:12:04,555
Get in there.
835
01:12:18,520 --> 01:12:20,955
Excellent judgment.
You've captured Pitzaccatto.
836
01:12:21,040 --> 01:12:22,440
What do you need with this bum?
837
01:12:22,520 --> 01:12:25,160
Why should I bother
with an unemployed private detective?
838
01:12:25,200 --> 01:12:27,237
You already control all
the crime in the city.
839
01:12:27,320 --> 01:12:30,074
Quite, but the police commissioner's
proved annoying lately.
840
01:12:30,160 --> 01:12:32,800
He must be disposed of.
He's Pitzaccattds uncle.
841
01:12:32,880 --> 01:12:35,998
Therefore, I shall use Pitzaccatto
as the man to kill him.
842
01:12:36,080 --> 01:12:38,914
- Hey, that's smart, boss.
- Don't interrupt. Now then.
843
01:12:41,000 --> 01:12:44,755
Can you hear me, Pitzaccatto?
844
01:12:45,400 --> 01:12:48,552
I hear you.
845
01:12:50,600 --> 01:12:53,957
You will obey my every word.
846
01:12:55,560 --> 01:12:58,792
I will obey...
847
01:12:59,680 --> 01:13:01,717
your every word.
848
01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:05,071
He's completely hypnotized.
849
01:13:06,240 --> 01:13:08,800
He will do precisely as I instruct.
850
01:13:10,000 --> 01:13:12,151
The tough Mr. Pitzaccatto...
851
01:13:12,280 --> 01:13:14,954
is now reduced to a babe-in-arms.
852
01:13:16,320 --> 01:13:17,640
Dada.
853
01:13:20,600 --> 01:13:21,600
Now then.
854
01:13:21,640 --> 01:13:25,634
All I have to do is to send him to police
headquarters carrying this bomb...
855
01:13:25,720 --> 01:13:28,918
tuned to go off at the sound of a phone
in the interrogation room...
856
01:13:28,960 --> 01:13:31,953
and in one hour, the police commissioner
will be blown to bits.
857
01:13:32,040 --> 01:13:34,032
Yeah, but what if nobody dials that number?
858
01:13:34,120 --> 01:13:35,713
We'll make sure of that ourselves.
859
01:13:35,800 --> 01:13:38,679
- Yeah, that's creative.
- Lot of moxie, boss.
860
01:13:38,720 --> 01:13:41,872
That best part of it is that
the police commissioner's own nephew...
861
01:13:41,960 --> 01:13:43,917
will be solely responsible.
862
01:13:55,120 --> 01:13:58,716
Be a good girl, Sam.
Tell me, where is Pitzaccatto?
863
01:13:58,800 --> 01:14:00,553
Do you really want to know, Lieutenant?
864
01:14:00,640 --> 01:14:03,109
For two hours
I've been asking you questions.
865
01:14:03,160 --> 01:14:05,880
The commissioner's in his office
getting ready to fire me...
866
01:14:06,000 --> 01:14:07,798
and you ask me, do I really want to know?
867
01:14:07,880 --> 01:14:09,519
No, of course not.
868
01:14:10,040 --> 01:14:12,874
- All right, I won't tell you.
- Of course I want to know!
869
01:14:12,920 --> 01:14:14,479
He's right behind you.
870
01:14:15,320 --> 01:14:16,800
I knew where he was all the time.
871
01:14:16,840 --> 01:14:18,718
Johnny, what's the matter? Are you okay?
872
01:14:18,800 --> 01:14:19,870
Dada.
873
01:14:20,320 --> 01:14:23,040
Does look a little funny.
Are you feeling all right?
874
01:14:26,560 --> 01:14:29,473
I'll call the commissioner
and tell him I captured Pitzaccatto.
875
01:14:29,520 --> 01:14:30,520
Johnny, sit down.
876
01:14:32,000 --> 01:14:33,957
Boss, the line is busy.
877
01:14:34,520 --> 01:14:35,954
Try it again.
878
01:14:36,880 --> 01:14:38,997
I know he's entitled to one phone call...
879
01:14:39,080 --> 01:14:42,517
but he's been on that phone for 20 minutes
and he hasn't said a word.
880
01:14:42,560 --> 01:14:44,552
So he's a good listener.
881
01:14:45,440 --> 01:14:48,558
Will you hang up that phone
before I go to pieces?
882
01:14:50,160 --> 01:14:53,153
Boss, it's ringing. This is it.
883
01:14:55,160 --> 01:14:57,994
Sammy's Delicatessen.
Corned beef, roast beef and pastrami.
884
01:14:58,040 --> 01:14:59,440
Your order, please.
885
01:14:59,520 --> 01:15:01,034
You incompetent fool.
886
01:15:01,120 --> 01:15:04,158
Another minute of this
and I'll really blow up.
887
01:15:13,560 --> 01:15:16,029
I got it! It's ringing!
888
01:15:17,040 --> 01:15:18,040
Hello.
889
01:15:18,560 --> 01:15:21,632
We're gonna hear the explosion.
The bomb is...
890
01:15:28,960 --> 01:15:31,031
That's a heck of a way to say hello.
891
01:15:31,080 --> 01:15:34,073
It's just Xeruthian's headquarters
exploding into action.
892
01:15:34,480 --> 01:15:37,791
Just Xeruthian's headquarters?
Where is he? Where can I find him?
893
01:15:37,840 --> 01:15:41,277
By now, several places. Depends on
which part of him you wanna find.
894
01:15:41,320 --> 01:15:44,119
- Johnny, you're all right.
- Sure, I'm all right.
895
01:15:44,600 --> 01:15:46,796
I must have been hypnotized,
but I slept it off.
896
01:15:46,880 --> 01:15:48,360
You better tell me what happened...
897
01:15:48,400 --> 01:15:50,676
or I'm gonna lock you up
and throw the key away.
898
01:15:50,760 --> 01:15:52,479
It's simple, Lieutenant.
899
01:15:54,760 --> 01:15:57,753
Xeruthian hypnotized me,
placed a bomb in my pocket...
900
01:15:57,800 --> 01:15:59,837
tuned to go off when that phone rang.
901
01:15:59,920 --> 01:16:02,276
But he didn't know that
before he hypnotized me...
902
01:16:02,320 --> 01:16:03,720
I overheard his plan...
903
01:16:03,760 --> 01:16:06,275
managed to switch the box
containing the bomb...
904
01:16:06,360 --> 01:16:09,353
with an identical box
they had at their headquarters.
905
01:16:09,440 --> 01:16:13,036
So Xeruthian wound up
placing this box in my pocket...
906
01:16:13,120 --> 01:16:15,919
while the one with the bomb
was left there to explode...
907
01:16:15,960 --> 01:16:19,510
when the sound of your phone ring
came through the receiver of their phone.
908
01:16:19,600 --> 01:16:22,513
- You got it?
- Yeah, and I'd like to give it back to you.
909
01:16:22,600 --> 01:16:25,274
- Look, Lieutenant...
- Please, not again.
910
01:16:25,680 --> 01:16:28,559
As long as the diabolic Xeruthian
is done for and we're safe...
911
01:16:28,640 --> 01:16:30,154
that's all that counts.
912
01:16:30,240 --> 01:16:32,994
See you later, Lieutenant. Come on, Sam.
913
01:16:33,920 --> 01:16:37,038
By the way, Johnny, what's in that box?
It looks like a radio.
914
01:16:37,120 --> 01:16:41,319
I don't know, and I don't care,
as long as the bomb's in the other one.
915
01:16:41,560 --> 01:16:44,200
Here's a present for you, Lieutenant.
916
01:16:48,880 --> 01:16:50,473
We must begin in 10 days.
917
01:16:50,800 --> 01:16:53,520
You have until then
to create your own vehicle.
918
01:16:59,480 --> 01:17:02,518
The world was created in seven,
I'm giving you three extra days...
919
01:17:02,560 --> 01:17:03,835
and all of this to work with.
920
01:17:24,560 --> 01:17:27,712
- Where am I supposed to sign?
- Right on the top, sir.
921
01:17:30,480 --> 01:17:32,870
- Thank you.
- We'll need a signature also.
922
01:17:54,280 --> 01:17:57,796
- You come empty-handed.
- I could come up with something.
923
01:17:57,880 --> 01:18:01,351
I got some good ideas.
All I need is a couple more days.
924
01:18:01,600 --> 01:18:03,000
Only ideas?
925
01:18:03,920 --> 01:18:06,435
Nothing concrete? No script?
926
01:18:08,120 --> 01:18:10,396
Then we shoot tomorrow at dawn.
927
01:18:11,240 --> 01:18:12,640
I got more than ideas.
928
01:18:12,720 --> 01:18:16,031
I got a couple of funny characters
and some good situations.
929
01:18:16,080 --> 01:18:17,992
Your naiveté amuses me.
930
01:18:18,120 --> 01:18:21,033
- We shoot tomorrow.
- I can't shoot tomorrow.
931
01:18:21,800 --> 01:18:24,440
Now don't tell me you have stage fright.
932
01:18:24,800 --> 01:18:29,158
No, I don't have stage fright.
You got a bad script and we can't do it.
933
01:18:29,360 --> 01:18:30,589
I see.
934
01:18:31,480 --> 01:18:34,279
I'm afraid I have no time for bickering.
935
01:18:34,320 --> 01:18:36,994
I have a script, you have a contract.
936
01:18:37,840 --> 01:18:41,231
Now, be on the set tomorrow
at 6:30 a.m. for makeup.
937
01:18:41,920 --> 01:18:43,912
What if I don't show up?
938
01:18:45,600 --> 01:18:47,637
You force me to be unkind.
939
01:18:48,080 --> 01:18:52,996
If you don't show up, you will both be
taken with a permanent case of laryngitis.
940
01:18:53,120 --> 01:18:56,272
There will be writs, restraining orders,
and injunctions.
941
01:18:56,320 --> 01:19:01,236
You will not record or perform in any way
until this contract has been fulfilled.
942
01:19:01,360 --> 01:19:05,115
And the contract calls for you to appear
as rustic wonders...
943
01:19:05,160 --> 01:19:07,550
in this delightful tour de force.
944
01:19:10,720 --> 01:19:13,440
Mr. Mordicus, let me ask you something.
945
01:19:13,800 --> 01:19:15,951
Let me buy my contract back.
946
01:19:16,320 --> 01:19:18,152
Out of the question.
947
01:19:18,600 --> 01:19:20,319
We will make this picture...
948
01:19:20,400 --> 01:19:24,713
it will make money,
and that, my boy, is what it's all about.
949
01:19:25,720 --> 01:19:29,794
Now, go and get some rest.
You have a 6:30 call tomorrow morning.
950
01:20:09,920 --> 01:20:13,231
- What you doing, bud?
- Just fooling around.
951
01:20:13,840 --> 01:20:16,480
You only play like that
when you're depressed.
952
01:20:18,200 --> 01:20:20,351
I'm a little depressed, yeah.
953
01:20:21,360 --> 01:20:23,352
What's the matter, honey?
954
01:20:24,280 --> 01:20:26,795
- I don't know how to tell you.
- What?
955
01:20:27,960 --> 01:20:29,792
We gotta make that movie.
956
01:20:29,880 --> 01:20:32,600
You mean we got to make that
rags-to-riches junk?
957
01:20:32,720 --> 01:20:33,720
Yeah.
958
01:20:34,520 --> 01:20:36,910
You said we didn't have to, Son.
959
01:20:37,120 --> 01:20:38,554
We do.
960
01:20:38,920 --> 01:20:43,073
And that's all you gotta say? You just
gonna let them tell us what to do now?
961
01:20:43,520 --> 01:20:46,911
That's not it. We got a contract.
Don't you understand?
962
01:20:46,960 --> 01:20:48,872
Either that or we're in a lot of trouble.
963
01:20:48,920 --> 01:20:52,436
- You know nothing about business.
- I don't care anything about business.
964
01:20:52,520 --> 01:20:55,752
I just care what you said
and you said we wouldn't have to do it.
965
01:20:55,800 --> 01:20:58,315
I told you
not to get involved with those people.
966
01:20:58,400 --> 01:21:00,551
Now I get "I told you so," right?
967
01:21:00,600 --> 01:21:04,435
Okay, I did and we goofed. Okay?
I'm sorry, what else?
968
01:21:04,800 --> 01:21:08,396
Now, that's it. I don't want to hear
about it anymore. Please.
969
01:21:08,440 --> 01:21:11,751
What can I say?
You know you can't do this to yourself.
970
01:21:11,800 --> 01:21:13,553
Just leave me alone.
971
01:21:13,920 --> 01:21:16,355
Really. Get out! Get out of here.
972
01:21:17,680 --> 01:21:19,239
- Get out!
- Okay.
973
01:21:19,280 --> 01:21:22,273
- Can I have the keys to my bike, please?
- Yes.
974
01:21:50,080 --> 01:21:51,673
It's just a name
975
01:21:54,040 --> 01:21:56,680
it's just a name.
976
01:21:58,880 --> 01:22:01,475
It's not too long
977
01:22:03,200 --> 01:22:06,637
and it's kind of plain.
978
01:22:07,720 --> 01:22:09,677
He's just a guy
979
01:22:11,120 --> 01:22:13,635
just a little guy.
980
01:22:15,000 --> 01:22:17,515
And he's not too brave
981
01:22:18,840 --> 01:22:20,752
not too shy.
982
01:22:21,880 --> 01:22:25,874
And he'll never make history.
983
01:22:27,080 --> 01:22:31,916
And he's not very much of a mystery.
984
01:22:33,360 --> 01:22:36,671
He's not even handsome
985
01:22:36,720 --> 01:22:39,758
nor is he tall.
986
01:22:39,840 --> 01:22:42,594
But there is no way
987
01:22:42,840 --> 01:22:46,720
I could live at all.
988
01:22:46,760 --> 01:22:51,710
Without his funny name.
989
01:23:01,360 --> 01:23:05,673
He's
990
01:23:09,240 --> 01:23:11,232
just a guy
991
01:23:12,520 --> 01:23:15,240
just a little guy.
992
01:23:16,360 --> 01:23:18,829
That can make me laugh.
993
01:23:20,320 --> 01:23:23,074
That can make me cry.
994
01:23:24,200 --> 01:23:28,194
If I haven't mentioned this before.
995
01:23:28,280 --> 01:23:32,035
He's got all I want and even more
996
01:23:32,080 --> 01:23:36,074
'Cause he gives me all that he has to give.
997
01:23:36,360 --> 01:23:40,274
And I guess that's why
I just couldn't live.
998
01:23:40,360 --> 01:23:46,311
Without his funny name.
999
01:25:38,760 --> 01:25:42,356
She's
1000
01:25:46,440 --> 01:25:48,830
just a girl
1001
01:25:50,080 --> 01:25:52,197
she's just a girl.
1002
01:25:54,120 --> 01:25:56,271
Her hair is straight
1003
01:25:57,680 --> 01:25:59,478
she don't have a curl.
1004
01:26:01,880 --> 01:26:03,837
She's not so hot.
1005
01:26:05,240 --> 01:26:07,232
I mean what's she got.
1006
01:26:09,440 --> 01:26:13,070
She's got all that I want and even more.
1007
01:26:13,680 --> 01:26:17,230
She's the girl that! Love, that! Adore
1008
01:26:17,400 --> 01:26:21,076
'Cause she gives me all
that she has to give.
1009
01:26:21,320 --> 01:26:24,870
And I guess that's why
I just couldn't live.
1010
01:26:25,360 --> 01:26:30,594
Without her funny name.
1011
01:26:35,400 --> 01:26:37,073
Just a name.
1012
01:26:37,800 --> 01:26:39,917
It's just a name.
1013
01:26:41,600 --> 01:26:43,751
It's just a name.
1014
01:26:45,760 --> 01:26:48,753
It's just a name.
1015
01:27:06,440 --> 01:27:08,750
- You have to go take it off.
- Good morning, chief.
1016
01:27:08,800 --> 01:27:11,838
Our stars will be here shortly.
Treat them gently but firmly.
1017
01:27:12,160 --> 01:27:14,277
This is gonna make a fortune.
They'll eat it up.
1018
01:27:14,320 --> 01:27:16,198
With a script like this, how could it miss?
1019
01:27:16,280 --> 01:27:19,478
This'll be the biggest grosser
since Out of Sight. Why, chief...
1020
01:27:19,520 --> 01:27:20,556
You're right.
1021
01:27:20,680 --> 01:27:22,160
Here they come, sir.
1022
01:27:25,280 --> 01:27:28,239
- Good morning.
- Good morning, Mr. Mordicus.
1023
01:27:28,400 --> 01:27:31,438
I admire promptness,
but where is your lovely co-star?
1024
01:27:31,520 --> 01:27:33,113
She's not coming.
1025
01:27:33,160 --> 01:27:36,517
I came here to tell you
we're not going to make this picture.
1026
01:27:37,760 --> 01:27:40,150
You will go to work this morning...
1027
01:27:40,560 --> 01:27:42,836
or your career is at an end.
1028
01:27:44,080 --> 01:27:46,640
Then my career is gonna have to end.
1029
01:27:47,880 --> 01:27:50,634
Bravo. Excellent performance.
1030
01:27:51,320 --> 01:27:54,313
Maybe Mr. Garth can work
it into the script.
1031
01:27:57,160 --> 01:27:58,640
Maybe he can.
1032
01:28:06,840 --> 01:28:10,197
They're ready to roll, sir.
What are you going to do?
1033
01:28:10,720 --> 01:28:12,200
What's to do?
1034
01:28:13,960 --> 01:28:17,158
We'll get the next teenage idol
that comes down the pike.
1035
01:28:17,200 --> 01:28:18,953
There's hundreds of them.
1036
01:28:19,320 --> 01:28:21,994
Don't be uncouth, Mr. Garth.
1037
01:28:22,320 --> 01:28:25,154
Shall I get your attorney
on the phone, sir?
1038
01:28:26,160 --> 01:28:27,160
No.
1039
01:28:29,600 --> 01:28:31,000
Forget it.
1040
01:28:48,800 --> 01:28:50,757
Still wanna make a movie?
79542