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Original subtitles

In such a beautiful day, traveling with good friends,

Chattering and drinking wine,

Is cool, real cool.

Mr. Cheung, you are right.

Doing poetry in such a wonderful day

Is a great pleasure indeed.

Exactly, this is what I think.

But... But what?

Is this what I am saying?

What are you doing? Running away?

Gentleman you made a good joke.

If I were really running away, how would I come to this club?

You are not dumb.

That's right.

Come and sit over here.

Take a seat and have a little chat.

I am thrilled particularly when seeing you. I don't know why.

Got some wine here.

I have almost forgotten that you are fond of wine.

Cheers

Have a taste of this fine wine.

It's a good wine indeed.

It seems a little bit too dry just to have wine here.

Why don't we have a game of intelligence?

I am not good at this kind of game.

That's why I am playing with you.

This...

I mean

Your opinion is peculiar

The answers are always shocking

Oh I see I didn't realize that.

Come on, let's get started.

You start first.

Okay, I've got one.

Say it.

Once upon a time, there was a person who couldn't talk.

He needed to buy a pair of chopsticks.

He then imitated the action of eating to the shop owner.

The shop owner understood it completely.

Then, there was a person who couldn't see.

Oh I know...

What do you know?

The blind was the relative of the dumb.

Damn it, this is not my question.

You are a fool, a real fool.

I was saying there was a blind

Who wanted to buy a pair of tinted glasses.

How could he tell the shop owner?

I know...

What do you know? Disturbed my thoughts.

Anyone knows? Time limit 30 seconds.

If no, I'll reveal the answer.

What is the riddle? People answer that?

That's right, fool

You said you know, why don't you solve the riddle?

Pardon me? I can tell the answer?

That blind could talk

Then he could tell the shop owner directly.

How's that? I got it?

Gorgeous... then have a drink first.

A good wine indeed.

Fool, there is something I want to ask you.

Are you still a virgin?

What?

Don't tell me you have never touched a woman before.

You are pathetic.

That of course, I was born in poverty.

Where could I get spare money to meet girls?

Money? I have plenty.

As a classmate

I haven't helped you out for some time.

Let me get you a prostitute and I will pay for it.

Don't thank me now.

Only if you wait in your home tonight.

Her name is Sze Sze. She is famous.

I will pay for the fee and you just enjoy youself.

That's the decision.

Mr. Cheung

Why are you so kind?

I have always been a kind person. You only realize this by now?

Mr. Cheung, Miss Man is on the way.

Miss Sze Sze would be there waiting for you tonight.

You leave now.

Why rush? I haven't finished my drink as yet.

You go now. If you don't, Miss Sze Sze

Won't come to your place tonight. Be quick.

Yes Be quick...

Brother, is that Mr Chu?

How come he's in a rush?

Rush for piss. Could he piss in front of you?

Brother, I am a girl.

You can't say filthy words to me all the time.

Mr. Cheung is a nice person.

My classmates have bad comments on him.

That's impossible.

But this seems to be unfair to Miss Man.

What should we do?

However

Sze Sze is the best looking girl in this village.

If we missed this opportunity, it would be hard to have another chance again.

What should we do?

This guy is really stupid.

Don't miss this golden chance.

It is hard for me to be your keeper.

Alright, let me help you out

To make a decision.

This is a golden chance and we can't afford to miss it.

Don't worry so much, let's get this done first.

It had a feeling that somebody was taking to me.

What happened?

That's right.

Everything will be fine.

There's no point to worry at this moment.

I feel so uncomfortable.

I should get back to that outfit.

Please be seated.

What are you doing here?

I don't know what to do.

Mr. Cheung asked me to sleep with you.

Not chattering.

Its... Mr. Cheung asked...

Asked you to come over, but

I have no idea how to do it?

Mr. Cheung said that you are still a virgin.

Is this really true?

Great, a breathtaking one.

Come, come on

If you haven't got any idea

Let me do the job for you.

I am in full control tonight.

Any problems?

No that would be great.

I can learn more.

Why are you closing your eyes?

I'm scared.

Scared of what?

Open you eyes and look.

You don't want to blink again.

Want to try something more daring?

Alright then, shut your eyes for me first.

Don't you move.

Good, that's right.

Ready? What takes you so long?

What's happening? Why do you tie me up?

Mr. Cheung ordered me to.

I have to do this.

This is shameful.

Right then, you go with me and be my slave.

How could this happen?

Always bully me.

Everyone bullies me.

Lie to me.

The whole world deserves me.

I saw something walking pass.

There's no cure for a stupid brain.

Even the trees laugh at me.

Help

Somebody help me

Help...

Somebody help me

Help

Brother what are you doing here?

I would like to ask you, did you see stray dogs?

Nope, I didn't see any along this path.

It would be great to have no stray dogs around.

Are you afraid of dogs?

Yes, even since I was young.

It franks me out when they got near.

Thank you very much indeed, brother.

Don't mention it, I didn't do anything.

I am quite stubborn. I said I thank you and I'll do it.

I will thank you.

I still need a small favor.

I would like to ask you, how to get to West Hill Village?

West Hill Village

Pass this hill, turn left, go 3 miles,

Go straight for 10 hours and there you are.

I will get back tonight after getting some business done and have drink with you.

Brother, you are fond of wine also?

Yes indeed.

Little brother, may I ask where you want to go?

I live near here.

Just live at the back of this hill.

Great, tonight after I settle the things down and

Immediately come back and drink with you.

Brother, I am afraid you can't make it.

It's getting dark.

Don't you worry. I am able to walk a thousand miles a day.

When I say I can, I mean it. I'll see you this evening.

Little brother, what's your name?

My name is Chu yee-dan.

Alright, I'll see you tonight.

Brother, what is your name?

How come there is someone scares of stray dogs?

Damn it

You left something.

Give it back to him tonight.

That brother hasn't come back for the book.

What is this book about?

It is immoral to sneak other's property.

Mother would scold me for sure.

What if he needs this book?

It won't matter just to have a glimpse.

The book of life and death.

The book of life and death?

The book of life and death?

Indeed.

It's The book of life and death.

Master, spare my life please.

Did you read the content?

No, I didn't.

Really?

Really.

Really? Master, spare my life.

I didn't read the book.

What spare your life? I never say I want to kill you.

Come sit over here.

Come over.

Master, spare my life.

Master, spare my life.

I take you words that you didn't read the book.

I can tell you are honest and don't tell lies.

Do you really believe me?

Yes I do.

Have a drink?

Good... good

Ah, just before you took off.

Didn't you want to know my name?

Yes That's right.

I tell you.

My name is Luk, Judge.

Yes, Judge Luk.

Stop right there.

Judge Luk, Judge Luk is to determine people's life and death.

Master Judge Luk... please don't kill me...

I said I don't kill you and I mean it.

If you don't sit down, I would slaughter you for sure.

I know, sit down...

You are frustrating.

Judge Luk says whosoever needs to die, he would be dead for sure.

Yes, death...

Obey me? Yes yes

Really obey me? Yes I obey you?

Drink Drink...

Cheers Alright

You can drink quite a lot.

Absolutely, I never fail once in competition.

You are not excluded.

You are bragging; you don't fear I would kill you?

Why should I fear?

I am Judge Luk.

I said you would not kill me before how would I die?

Courageous, I am impressed.

Drink

I have an idea

Since we get along so well

Why don't we be brothers?

Good idea, follow me.

Repeat what I say

Okay

Listen Yes

The heaven above

The heaven above

Me, Judge Luk

Today with Chu yee-dan form a brotherhood

Me, Luk, no

Me, Chu yee-dan with Judge Luk form a brotherhood

Brotherhood Brotherhood

Ah, which one of us is the elder?

Don't be silly. I am in this world when you are not born yet.

Whom do you think is the elder?

You got me there.

Me Judge Luk is the elder

Chu yee-dan is the younger.

Me Chu yee-dan as the younger

Have Judge Luk as my elder brother

From now onwards share fortune and hardship together

From now onwards share fortune and hardship together

Good ceremony completed

Great ceremony completed

Good Brother

Good Brother

From now on I can come to drink with you every evening.

Very good indeed.

How come yesterday night...

She played fool with me.

Just a dream.

Dan, where to go?

Come over.

Where are you heading to?

Nothing, it's just something happened in my place.

Go back for once.

Sit down.

Do you want what happened yesterday go public?

You forget what I told you yesterday?

I ask you to turn left and you can't turn right

I ask you to turn right and you can't turn left.

Do you remember? Yes I remember.

Mr. Cheung what fun do we have today?

It would only be fun if the riddle is from us.

Give the fool a chance to come up with a puzzle.

For in case others say we bully him

That would be bad

Yes, indeed

Why don't you come up with a question?

Don't make it too difficult

I don't want to loss my face if my guess is wrong, right?

I'm sorry. I can't think of anything.

Is there anything that we can ask?

You suck.

You are truly a stupid ass as your name suggests.

This is an idea

You call three of us brother and we let you go.

Three brothers

Speak up, can't hear.

Three brothers

I'm an idiot. I'm useless.

Not only am I untalented

I am also not as wise as you.

I'm useless. Is this okay with you?

It's great to have so many people drinking and talking here.

Am I invited?

This gentleman is

Hello... this is from West Hill Village.

I just notice that you guys are in the mood

Of tasting wine and chattering.

Could I join you?

Why not? This dumb ass next to me is useless.

It might be more fun to have you with us.

Why don't you sit over here?

Gentleman, please be seated.

Please...

Ah, may I ask what kind of fun are you having here?

I guess gentleman you are an educated person.

We are playing some games of intelligence.

Are you interested?

Of course I am interested.

However, where there are winners, there are losers.

The winners will be rewarded whereas the losers will be penalized.

There is wine on the table.

Let's put it in this way, whosoever losses in the game, drink of cup of wine.

Until whosoever surrenders first.

Alright, this is exciting.

Let's get this thing started.

Why don't we put it in this way?

Would you mind if I first name the question?

No, please go on.

This is the question.

If the mother was twenty one years elder than her son,

In six years time,

The age of the mother was five times than that of her son.

The question is

Where was the father?

I know, he's gone to work.

I wouldn't be so simple.

The father and the mother were divorced.

And the father was with another woman.

Very imaginative, but it's wrong.

I know, the father remained with the mother.

He had never left them.

Gentleman this question is deep and profound.

The answer is

The answer is

You all drink first, then I tell you the answer.

Alright

Generous... you guys are really generous.

The answer is, the child was born nine months later.

What the father was doing undoubtedly

Was shaking himself on the mother.

I almost got it.

Mr. Cheung I knew you almost got it.

Doesn't matter. Now I as the winner give out another question.

You guys are so smart that you will get the answer.

Can you name eleven comments that

Women have towards men?

They always say that I am stupid.

Am I really that stupid?

I am born like this.

You think I want this? Can't change it.

This is fate.

Fool, fool...

Who was that gentleman?

It's seems that we know each other.

Better take a nap now.

Fool...

That gentleman was your brother Judge Luk.

He was helping you and you didn't realize it.

There's no cure to the fool.

You fool are blessed.

Forming a brotherhood with Judge Luk

Was arranged by God.

No wonder I am your keeper.

Alright then, you take a rest first

So that you will have energy to embrace your new life.

My back is sore.

It would be more comfortable to sleep at home.

First of all

For men who don't take initiation

And let the women do it he is awful.

They think that most women are disgraceful.

It is not worthy to take the women home as wives.

These are the eleven comments that

Women have towards men.

So are you really to be the losers?

Don't say too much.

It looks good over there.

Let's go that way.

Please

As we mention studying

I am so foolish that I'm afraid I'll need to quit school soon.

I was born in a poor family.

My parents died early.

I think it would be more suitable if I get a job.

Why do you feel so inferior of yourself?

You should not be like this.

It says that

Those who work hard will succeed.

As for the money

Here I got some and you can take it first.

No how can I take your money?

I am capable

If I am willing to work, I will not stave to death.

You are silly.

You know what? You are in the period to acquire knowledge.

You shouldn't be thinking of getting a job.

As soon as you obtain certain academic qualifications, you will get a prosperous job.

Then you will be successful.

Miss Man I thank you for your good intentions, however

Don't say a word. You will upset me if you don't take this.

Miss Man, if that is the case then

I borrow the money from you.

As soon as I graduate, I will return the money to you.

You don't need to. It would be good enough if you have me in your heart.

I don't know how to thank you.

Miss Man, you don't need to worry a bit.

I will never forget you.

I believe I am right.

Ah, you know that gentleman?

Gentleman Fat, I don't know him.

I thought you sent someone to help me finish in off.

No I didn't.

What is that guy? It's so strange.

Dan, come over here.

I did you a favor and you said you didn't know me.

I sincerely appreciate the favor Elder Brother you did for me.

But I really don't know you.

Elder Brother? You call me Elder Brother?

How come you don't know me?

Is you?

You are Brother Luk?

Keep quiet. Don't let anyone know.

You know me now?

What happened in yesterday night is true?

You had dreams again?

Very annoying

What are you talking about?

Actually the thing is

I am the cousin of Dan

I happened to walk pass here, knowing that you take advantage of him.

I just had to do something about it.

Ah, I suggest you go home and check on your brother.

It is because they three had lost in the games

And now they are all drunk, lying on the ground.

I am afraid they might catch a cold.

Thanks anyway for help Dan.

I should go and check on my brother.

Be quick...

Bye Take care.

Have you had enough? They are gone now.

Go home. I have a few words with you. Yes

Go.

Brother where have you been?

You betrayed me.

You got someone to help Dan against me?

No I didn't.

Yes you did. Don't you think I am a dupe.

I pretended to be drunk to deceive them.

I didn't do anything.

You don't need to say anything now.

Follow me home and I will lock you up.

You can no longer see that moron.

Dan

From what I observed today, I can tell you really some problem.

What's wrong with me?

The only thing wrong with you is that you are too much a moron.

How can we have such a moron in this world.

What about being a moron?

Everything I have is inherited from my parents.

I never blame them.

Good. You have love, loyalty and respect for your parents.

I am so proud of you.

As I told you yesterday

We would share fortune and burden together.

Today I must fulfill my promise.

How now?

How now? I have decided to help you out.

You are able to help me?

Yes but first I need to do a test.

To test your intelligence and adaptability

I have a few questions to test you

See if you can answer them.

Okay

Good okay this one

I am going to test your right brain.

There is difference between the left and the right brain?

Of course there is. You are mortal and know nothing about it.

Thousands of years later

Researchers would come up the results that

The right brain is to identify colors and

The left brain is to identify words.

Understand?

We've got words painted in five different colors

And I mix them together

In fifteen seconds you are to identify the colors

Remember not the words. Got it?

Perhaps?

Counting the time now.

Yellow, No.

Green, Red, Blue, Black

Yellow, Blue, Green, right?

This test proves that your left and right brains do correspond to each other.

This test is a failure.

I said I am a moron.

This is only the first test and it doesn't matter if you didn't succeed.

Now here comes the second test.

Don't make it too hard.

It's easy for me, however

Listen to it first

This is an intelligent question.

Say it was late at night

A, B, C, D, four of them

Needed to get through the wooden bridge for an appointment.

However they must bring a candle along to cross the bridge.

They've only got one candle.

The wooden bridge only allowed two people to cross each time

And speed was another issue in crossing the bridge.

But four of them had different speed.

In other words, if the fast and the slow crossed the bridge together

It would only count the time of the slow.

But the time limit for crossing the bridge was only seventeen minutes.

Now I tell you

A, needed one minute

B, needed two minutes

C, needed five minutes

D, needed ten minutes

For example

A got back to the starting point took one minute

Relatively speaking they took eleven minutes

Do you understand?

Dame it, he falls asleep; there's no cure for him.

I will save you.

That bastard

He sucks and thus sends us for the investigation.

How could we have such a mean person in this world.

How could you? He is your boss.

You should have known him very well. What are you blaming for?

Ah, aren't we supposed to spy on Mr. Fat?

Why are we heading to Dan's place?

Don't be such an idiot. Mr. Fat is helping Dan out.

We have no idea where Mr. Fat lives.

That means we need to visit Dan's place.

You think he would be in your place?

You got me there.

Let's say, I am A and you are B

Yes

A is elder than B, this I am in a superior position.

I am going back home to rest now.

You go to Dan's place and observe carefully.

No kidding

Don't say anything further. Go there quick.

If you don't go immediately, you won't get any rest tonight.

Wait...

Are you awake now?

Yes, elder brother.

You were asking me question yesterday night, what for?

Hold on, first don't ask me why.

Do you still remember the question?

Let me think

If you can remember, tell me the answer.

You think I know the answer?

You are a different person now. I say you know and you know.

Answer me.

I know the answer.

A and B crossed the bridge first

It took two minute.

Then A took the candle back to the starting point.

It took another minute.

Followed by C and D crossed the bridge.

It took ten minutes.

Then B went back to the starting point.

It took two minute.

Finally, A and B both crossed the bridge again.

It took two minutes, am I correct?

Well done.

It's worthwhile that I have changed all your internal organs.

Precise and concise.

What? You have changed all my internal organs?

Is it that amazing?

You know my identity. Nothing is impossible to me.

The organs that you had inside were smelly and rotten.

No wonder you were so stupid.

Now you are totally different.

I have replaced all your organs

So that you can do your best.

Suppose you sat for an examination, you would be the number one.

Is it that dramatic?

You should try your new body.

Why don't we go outside and have some fun?

Let's have fun together with Mr. Cheung

Great

Brother, you didn't go to the toilet at home

Now you want to go to the toilet

Troublesome

It's so boring to be alone. It would be wonderful to have a girl with me.

This lady is pretty

Never meet her in this village

Probably from another village

Chu yee-dan, how are you?

Did you talk to me?

You know me?

Of course I know you. I saw you labor.

You saw me labor?

Miss, what is your age?

We are about the same age.

How come you could see me labor?

You think twice, do you not know me?

Do I really know you?

I remember a bit, however,

Impossible

Just say what you can remember

Even if I say it, you won't believe me.

How do you know if you don't tell me

I think I met you in my dreams

You wouldn't believe me

I believe you because you are telling me the truth

Hold on a second

Things happened to me lately were all very strange

Let me think

First I met my brother Judge Luk

Then he had me transformed

Nobody would believe this

Then I met another girl whom I don't really know

Claiming that she knows me in my dreams

Is she a mortal?

You are extraordinary after Judge Luk's transformation

Actually I have always been with you since you came to this world

My name is Moon, your keeper

My keeper?

Why didn't you show up before?

Now why do you appear in front of me?

Because you are smart now so that you can see me

You used to be too stupid

That's why you never notice my existence

That's the reason

Now I understand it

I'm glad you can understand it

Now it's time for formal introduction, my name is Moon.

It's my pleasure to meet you Miss Moon, my name is Chu yee-dan

I show up in front of you to say hello to you.

Master Judge Luk is coming back

I cannot stay here. I got to go now.

Why are you leaving so soon?

You don't need to be afraid of him.

He's come back already, .

She leaves so abruptly

What took you so long?

I wet my clothes when I see pretty girl

Better go home and change

You were just dreaming, what is so strange about it?

Mr. Cheung please believe me

What the point if I lie to you?

You must have your intention

You were lazy and forgot bout the investigation. Now you come up with excuses.

No everything I said is true

Mr. Cheung I don't think he is hiding the truth

Why do you think so?

If you think carefully

If you lie, you got to make up something convincing.

No need to say strange things like these.

He is not a child

That sounds reasonable

They are coming over, Mr. Cheung

You idiot are possessed

Bullshit

He is coming towards us normally.

Mr. Cheung why is everyone so early?

Let me introduce my new friend to you

Gentleman Fat, I knew it yesterday

For what happened yesterday, please do not mind...

Dan, you look great today.

Looks like a new person

Can diligent compensate in born insufficiency?

Right Dan can rely on his own account.

Right whosoever loses today

He is the real dupe

As Dan you want to change your fate

You have to show your talent.

Fine I will compete with you today

Without anybody's assistance

Whoever needs help from others, he is the real loser.

I let you name the question first

It is you who ask me to name the question first, don't you regret.

Please go on

Listen

The elder brother is called Elder Ming, the younger brother is called Younger Ming

What is Kam-lee called?

Kam-lee is a fish.

Am I right?

If I got it right, it's my turn to ask you now.

Hold on a second, you were just lucky.

I prefer a three-round match

Let me ask you another two questions

It's up to you.

A successful man has a lady supporting him

What does a failure man has?

This one is even simpler.

A failure man has too many women.

Good

Let me ask you again

What's the connection between manure and life?

Manure?

How can you come up with question of manure and life?

Right, listen

Life is like passing manure.

Once it is gone it can never get back.

Life is like passing manure

You look the same every time you go to the toilet

But the manure that you pass looks different each time

Life is like passing manure

Sometimes the act is smooth

But sometimes it takes pain

Life is like passing manure

You never know what the droppings look like

Life is like passing manure

Whether the act is smooth or hard

Depends on what you have eaten

Life is like passing manure

You have to deal with everything on your own

Just like now I am telling you this

Eat shit

Actually my intention is positive

I want you to know yourself seriously

I'm done

Good three questions have been finished

Now it's my turn to ask

Listen this one should be fairly straight forward

A lady told me this

My husband passed away without leaving me anything

Only 30 millions

Another woman heard this, being puzzled and envious and asked

Is that enough for you? This is not enough?

That lady immediately busted into tears.

Now my question is

What is that 30 millions?

Bank notes for the dead?

30 millions sperms?

30 millions ants?

Wrong, ridiculous

Listen the answer is

Number one, remember to take care of the kids

Number two, remember to respect my parents

Number three, not to remarry again

I think I can save question two and three

Because I answered correctly all your questions

And you do not manage to answer one of mine

You are doomed to fail

If I keep asking

That would only lose your face

Dupe

Fine if you are to go against me

I am telling out your wrongdoing

The night before you are Sze Sze were playing adult game

You were over excited and fainted before anything could have happened

You were tied up by her

Oh really? Is that the case?

I do not admit it.

Holy goddess, haven't seen you for a while

Judge Luk

Do you remember me?

How could I forget?

We've been in love for over seventy years

Making love for thirty seven thousand eight hundred and ninety one and a half times.

How could I forget?

Do you remember the last half time?

Yes, that time we were making out

And my boss call me urgently and I had to get back

You should know, under the currently economic situation

It's hard to find a job, so I have to give in to this.

You say anything further. That half time is still arousing me

If not I wouldn't break up with you.

This is your problem

I only said three words

These three words

No kidding, I just said up to you.

Meaning it's up to you.

I can't believe that would piss you off

Of course it's piss me off, why don't you say something to coax me

Please forgive me I am never a flatterer.

Forget about it, just take that as my fault okay?

This sounds right; this is definitely your fault.

You know what? Since last time

For thirty years I have never touched a man

What?

Really?

Yes, come on.

Hold me, I need you

I haven't been doing this for a while.

Alright, I forgive you

Come on

Brother Luk why are you so late?

Is there anything happened?

Usually he would be back in the time I finish reading two books

Now I have finished reading the whole set of books and he's still not back

Nothing would happen to him for he is so resourceful

Too bad that we don't have telephone in ancient time

I shall have called Miss Man to talk

Better to go to bed now

Sleep early, wake up early

Brother why are you here?

Why am I here

Hold on a second, let me think

Did you have fun yesterday night?

Yes

Were you having fun here?

Nope

Who were together with you?

No need to say, I know what you are thinking of.

I am telling you. It wasn't you.

That's alright

You shocked me

What?

Why do you have dark circles around your eyes?

You got those too.

Me too?

Dame it

What's wrong?

It must be the holy goddess who stole The Book of Life and Death

Making changes in the content

It's just a book

You are the judge and you can correct those

It's not that easy, I need to get down to hell

And get the pen of the judge. The trip takes a whole day.

A whole day?

It only takes a day. You can go.

You don't know the whole thing.

You know what?

The holy goddess made today the last day you can survive

Tonight she would send someone to catch you.

Now you think a whole day matters a great idea?

Does it matter?

Brother, are you serious?

Serious

You got to save me this time.

I am your brother. Of course it is my duty to save you.

I said we would share all the burdens. Certainly

Certainly

No matter what I am going to the hell

You go there once then

I know

What if someone come to catch you?

I have no way to stop you from being caught

But I have a way to make you invisible

Really?

Yes, by midnight tonight

You cover your face and ears with ink

Then you will be invisible

But remember don't you touch anyone

Anyone who had contact with you would be in great trouble

Don't worry. Nobody will come to me.

Don't think too much. I am leaving now.

Nobody will come to me. I am not porny.

Mr. Cheung... What's the matter?

Damn it, Miss is missing

What? Didn't you keep an eye on her?

I guess she hasn't got far; we can still catch up

Where's Yuk? Yuk?

Yuk has gone for her.

Why don't you go now? Yes.

Why are you here? I thought you have gone for Miss.

I searched everywhere and couldn't find her.

Damn it, how come she's gone so far?

She's been to the fool's place?

She's better in the fool's place

So that I could report to the police of kidnapping.

Right, I go to the fool's place and wait for her.

Go

Shit, I thought I could go to Dan's place to hide myself for a while

I don't think I can do it now.

It looks as if I need to hide from them for a couple days

If not I would get him into trouble

I would give her a good punishment

Get down

Shit, got dummy ache

Could you go with me to the toilet?

No, I am waiting for Miss Man

Why don't you go yourself?

This is a bad time

Go and come with you

Let's put it this way ...you go with Mr. Cheung

I remain here. Don't worry. I will watch carefully.

Go now... As you wish...

Go now, Mr. Cheung be careful

Be more careful Mr. Cheung

I do it here; you watch for me.

Alright no problem, I watch for you.

Watch that. Nobody is coming over.

Don't peek. Alright, no problem.

It feels so good.

Toilet paper

Son of the bitch, where are you?

Damn it, he's gone

Don't I need to use this?

When is he coming back?

I do my face right. It's even darker the face of my brother.

It would be better if nobody would come

Take a look

They are Bob and Yuk

What are they coming for?

What's on their faces?

They are wondering

This is bad

Are the possessed?

This is bad luck.

If they are coming to catch me, there is nowhere to hide here.

I should better flee.

Moon, it's so good to see you.

Please save me.

I'm sorry. I am inferior

Cannot fight them.

What to do? I must die.

Don't worry. You will get over it.

You go to this direction and you might survive.

I got it. What about you?

Don't worry about me. I will be fine. Just leave.

You leave. You take care of yourself then.

Moon? Where is Dan?

I have no idea.

You have no idea?

But I can smell him on you.

You bitch are you playing fool of me?

I feel uncomfortable.

Better change another outfit.

When will Judge Luk get back his Judge's pen and come back to rescue me?

Go to the front and check if he is there.

Shit. I got deceived.

Falling into her trap again.

Damn it, no.

I should rush to get the pen and save Dan.

It's so hot.

What is it?

What did you do? What happened to your face?

Nothing? Yuk was following you, wasn't he?

I am smart. How could he catch me up?

Don't say anything further. We should escape.

Leave this place first. Right...

Run faster. Go back and talk later.

I cannot let go your hand.

Where can I go?

You cannot escape from me.

You go back to the hell with me.

Me alone?

Is Mr. Cheung alright?

You are not Mr. Cheung?

You are breaking my arm...

Brother, please let go me

Brother, please let go my arm

Judge Luk? Yes

Nobody can survive if the God of Death wants his to die.

You Judge Luk is no exception

That's right.

I Judge Luk would never change his decision

However, the God of Death has grant me authority

That I have the power to alter The Book of Life and Death

Why would he trust me?

It is because I keep my promise.

My promise is guaranteed.

Now Judge Luk is announcing that

It is not the time for Dan to die

Please take a look.

If that's the case, we won't catch anyone without reasons.

Thank you very much brothers.

Someday I will pay a visit to you

And drink with you. Great...

Great

Brother

Brother, it's so lucky that you can make it on time.

Or else we would not be able to see each other again

Don't be silly. I am the judge.

No matter you are human or spirit, I am able to see you.

Let's go.

If this is the whole story

Women are really troublesome.

Brother I feel so sorry

I almost get you into trouble.

Don't be silly. Your business is my business.

How would I blame you?

I also feel awful seeing you like this.

I have a suggestion. You and I go to see the holy goddess

And explain to her and this may solve the conflict between you.

Right, now you are smart.

Maybe this can help me.

Don't worry. I will do this for you. Let's go.

This is the holy goddess?

Yes

It seems that I have met her in my dreams.

You are quite good. You saved him on time.

Holy goddess how do you go? I am Chu yee-dan.

I know.

I dare you ask holy goddess in what year did you born?

You are wired, why ask?

I was born in the year of rat.

People born in the year of rat are absolutely opportunist;

And particularly having rich emotions;

And especially kind to her lover;

Even if there is conflict between them

She would not be picky.

Yes

You kind and merciful character

Makes your lover

Like you very much.

That's right.

Are you serious in love?

Of course I am serious.

However,

Because you always look for rewards

And thus you are very particular in love.

And this would always lead to the negative side.

In the end you would have nothing.

What... what can I do about it?

Just hold on a second.

May I ask in what year was you born brother?

I... I was born in the year of ox.

So?

No wonder

People born in the year of ox are very accommodating

He has to take care of family and perform his job as well.

Therefore, he might be a little fussy sometimes.

However, men are ambitious

Of course he has to have his career but family is equally important

You are the watchful type.

Two of you helping each other

If you two can get along

You two would be a perfect match.

Honey

What? I...

I know I was wrong, please forgive me.

Actually I was also wrong.

Look

Dan you are really wise after the transformation

But I heard from Sze Sze

He is completely ignorance in sex

I suggest you to have your knowledge

Pass on to him

What? I want my knowledge

Pass on to my brother?

It doesn't matter. You want to save for yourself?

Do you remember he has helped us?

Yes I remember. But the knowledge is only theory based.

It has to be practiced.

Any mortal girls

Cannot practice with him.

You want to practice with him?

Are you putting a horn on my head?

Don't be silly. We are immortal.

How can we be as shallow as those human beings?

That's right. What's important between us

Is spiritual communication.

That's of course

I have an idea.

Tonight we get Sze Sze practice with him

If he can do it, you will be proud also.

Good

Tonight I will do everything to pass on the knowledge to him.

Dan, no need to practice

Tonight you will have a harder challenge

Dan this bastard

Has just learned a few tricks and he is doing it so right

I am so proud

Shit, I am a bit aroused

It's okay to switch

Don't go

Mr. Cheung

Don't go. What are you afraid of?

What is everyone so afraid of me?

I pissed you off before now I apologize for my fault.

May your kindness forgive me.

What?

I am not monster. I am human

I know...

You are powerful

You can change to human form anytime you like.

Please let me go.

I still don't get it.

Where is Miss Man?

Miss Man? She won't see you.

You are spirit and she is mortal

Please don't bother her.

Who told you I am mortal?

You are Judge Luk's brother

You have mistaken. We formed the brotherhood

Not real brothers

That means you are not spirit?

I am human

What prove do you have?

How do you want me to prove?

You won't fight back if I hit you?

Hit me?

Miss Man you think I am monster

I prove myself to you here

I am not monster. I am human.

Come on; hit me; you can hit me to death

I will not fight back or blame you

Come on

Here

Brother, stop it

He may die

Leave me, he wouldn't be happy if I stop

Brother I beg you stop it

Stop it

Drop it

Don't move.

Get up. Are you okay?

Miss Man is it really you?

Are you alright?

I won't let you go.

Will you marry me?

Marry me

This is marvelous

Moon? Is that you?

Come and sit over here.

It's so nice to see you

I've been worrying about you since last time.

So now I see you and no need to worry more

I am your keeper.

If you are fine then I am fine.

It's so wonderful that you got married with Miss Man

Really wonderful

How come ever since last time I saw you

You never showed up?

I thought I never had chance to see you again

Fortunately my brother saved me

And I am a freeman now

Oh you were caught that time

It must be hard for you

No, how would that be?

Let me show my wife to you

No you can't. Only you can see me.

Your wife can't see me.

Oh I see

I have to go.

I wish you many sons and grandsons

And forever merry couple

Thank you

Goodbye

Goodbye

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