Original subtitles

GALLERY FARNSWORTH

You ... !

Something is wrong . This is not the color!

But? that Miserable .

Gigi , I have said before. I do not bother when I'm working .

If you do not bother probably will never exchange the middle again.

Big deal . Whenever I can paint stockings on my feet.

If one day we were married , the first thing I would do would seek a divorce .

You would like to ...

What are you doing here ? I'm working .

Well , Picasso, you're working , but you have to be ...

in Farnswoth gallery in an hour.

Your big auction for one man only , remember?

Oh Mr. Farnswoth says it will not make more business with you if you do not show .

Critics will be there.

What critics ? Are the Subúrbio Magazine ?

You know, not sell a picture for a serious collector ...

since my mother stop to buy .

Better go , or sr . Farnsworth goes ...

So that the \"F \"?

The \" F\" is for ... Farnsworth.

GALLERY FARNSWORTH

SIGN EXCLUSIVE PAINTINGS OF ADAM SORG

MONDAY TO FRIDAY GALLERY

The man who ...

As I was saying , the man who pinto pinto this and that ...

you are interested in selling his paintings.

- Not really , no - . Right?

Yes , sr . Farnsworth, as you write in my columns , Adam Sorg is ...

- How much does this fabric - 1500. Is it too much paint , you know ?

Yes , I write that Adam Sorg is a commercial success .

But an artistic failure, right?

Well, sr . Sorg , I would not go that far.

Let's say a commercial success, but an artistic impostor.

Your use of the colors , let generous , is not well implemented.

Mr. Gregorovich , let me express in words ...

I can not express myself as through the fabric. You're full of ...

Adam is a critical ! Why have to irritate Gregorovich ?

He said nothing as terrible.

¿ Farnsworth, you know that is the \"F \"?

- Adam , for the love of God ... - \"F \" is for ...

Farnsworth.

They say it has a story behind all the pictures he paints.

It is a fascinating man .

I wish it were a little quieter.

It is so colorful.

It's a great thing to have the honor of this painting. This fashionable.

Madame , I would be happier if said I was a good painter .

But I will not discourage it.

It is so good. I do not understand because the critics do not like.

It like it . It's still very young , you know.

Adam !

Adam !

Adam !

Adam !Adam !

Adam !

Adam !

¿ Adam , for God's sake , why do not you answer me?

I know you heard me .

What?

I do not think anyone knows as evil as you .

Why so much fuss?

Mr. Farnsworth is here. Says you have a paints for . Are you ready ?

Tell take any and take her away .

I trust him . It is very serious to fool someone.

Dear , you should talk to the . We pay a lot of money .

If we get married , I'll have to hire an entrepreneur.

If we get married , I'll hire a psychiatrist.

You look like a wet cat . Take care of this.

Adam !

Adam , you 're wet all these paintings .

Why not? These fabrics were made ​​to use watercolors.

Adam , you're impossible .

If I am impossible, perhaps I should leave.

I told you, here's a present buyers morons art

Now I take what he wanted ?Outside !

The coffee is cold and you are a possible host!

Gauguin also say was crazy.

- What the hell is that - ? That ?

That is Impressionism .

This may be worth something .

¿ Adam has more red paintings ? You are selling well .

What you find with red paint ?

Adam , I have to agree with that critical , Gregorovich .

I think it can improve the use of colors.

You know one thing ? I agree with you .

Now, take the rest and leave . I have to work .

My shoes are wet.

Perfect .

Excuse me for leaving blood on your fabric. I had a nail sticking out.

Quiet Lord. It's too early for breakfast.

You mean this is blood?

Well, it is , unless I have tomato juice in my veins .

What is the problem , maestro?

You can not be nervous again ... . It's 8 o'clock.

Come over. I want to see.

You mean you actually you interested? I can not believe it .

Well, I want to see that . It's a great color.

- Thanks - .Listen ! It is important.

Want to try something.

Can not listen to me just for a minute ?

Now you want blood. Okay, Count Dracula. But only a little.

Well, piggy . Blood for a great man.

If we get married , I'll have to wear gloves.

Adam .

Adam , you must be sick.

I 'm willing to give my blood. But I 'm not going to give it all .

To cover this fabric , you will need a superwoman .

- I'm going out - .I'm not torturing !

Look, if you want blood, you use yours . Probably black serious.

This crazy !

Damn fool .

There is only one problem to paint this way.

This table ends with you .

Ink , mate, no hemoglobin.

Leave this box to Bank Blood and reworks .

What kind of vampire are you, painting with blood?

Are you a painter or a butcher ?

You have to talk to Farnsworth and tell him you have something big.

He has to invite one critic Gregorovich , to see your new paint.

You have to be ready for some , if you care .

No where will you find the blood to finish this.

It is certainly a great painting .

It is not good for you , Adam make a blood work with paint.

Adam ! Adam , are you listening to me ?

If we got married ...

Your friends are here , April.

Yes, mother . They are walking .

Where will this afternoon?

Rolf and I are going on a picnic , Jack and Sydney.

April , can not I get used to call a girl Sydney.

I 'm not accustomed Sydney is a girl.

I guess I'm not used , but do not know why .

You know, when I was your age, not selling the books you read and underscores .

Well, your friends are going for here.

Which of these is Sydney?

- I'm here in the yard, dear - . Hello , dear. Hello, mrs . Garver .

¿ April , why did not you come when touring ?

My daughter does not run when someone walks .

What are you, a band of geese ?

Nothing bad for a lady city, is not it ?

That it is.

Young , I hope we will not have another war . I'd hate to think of you defending.

I think they are going to have fun, but I will not spend my day wondering how .

- Where are you going , mother - The Farnsworth Gallery .

They have some paintings Adam Sorg , and I want to make some deals .

Well, have a nice day , April, Rolf , and you two ... companions.

Also have fun .

Hey , look at that car . She does not seem so stretched as well .

I think it's modern , although not enough .

Come dear, before those two in the cement harden .

- Where are we going , Rolf - Towards the beach.

One place for us . A silent and particular place.

Our girl 1927 !

\" Take me to the game, papa . They have a very good game tonight. \"

Come on . It's a long way down the beach .

Mr. Farnsworth ten minutes more and I'll have to go.

Do not worry , sr . Gregorovich . Call Adam's house .

Nobody answered . Must be coming here with paintings.

Here is the .

What?

That is , my dear Adam , the better of course .

I need to give my opinion about their work.

Wave a great talent.

Oh , sr . Farnsworth, I have to congratulate him. How is it?

To the best paintings of all ... 15,000.

15.¿000 ? You must be joking.

My dear friend , I have to say on behalf of the lady. This is not a Michelangelo .

Neither have Picazos prices as well .

I can not accept less for that paint. It will be a classic.

Art Museums will borrow the . The books talk about it.

You are a formidable seller carrieth me .

You may never found another one.

I know Adam Sorg . His blood is on this.

Not for sale .

What do you mean , \" not for sale \"?

If , Adam , you mean ? If not want to sell , why did you bring ?

To prove that I can paint.

Has a painting in each of us . Can you paint another ?

Or that's a great idea , never happen again?

Can you paint that one again?

Want another ?

Will paint another .

That is not for sale . You can hang , look , admire ...

but not for sale . Not for sale!

Mr. Gregorovich , which finds you on it ? Does not exciting?

I think I would not be the psychoanalyst man.

- How about this place - Can we stay here?

Dear , this place is the most exciting .

- What's my kiss , Jack - Open your eyes , guys.

You better go to the beach. If I was that guy , I'd privacy.

If you were that guy , you'd privacy.

It is clouding , baby . Better go home .

Before we left, we will give a look those things that are there.

- Come on. Let - I'm going .

I'm going over there .

Hey , let ! It seems fun.

Betsy , I will not go me to it . They must belong to someone .

Come on, Norman . There we go to break .

Are we going to get there and back , okay? Let make a career from there to here.

Come on . That's it. Let . Push me hard .

- Let - . Come

This is fun .

Come on . Come on . You'll never catch me.

I'll get there.

What is the problem ? Come on.

- I'm tired - . Let's go .

I'm still behind you . Shut up .

Will the owner of these things ?

It is better to leave.

Norman , he's coming to us.

Norman !

Ah , sr . Sorg , this time you can not escape me .

The sr . Farnsworth and I were talking business .

Adam , you can paint for a year with her earnings with this sale .

That painting is not for sale .

- What -I said no is for sale !

I hope you are satisfied.

I hope so.

My dear Farnsworth, his genius crazy not diluted this painting.

Did that boy going to dive with you today , dear ?

You speak of Rolf ? He's already trained , mother .

The bell touch like a good boy .

And he's a good guy ?

Yes, dear. He is not as your crazy painter.

April , I determine to have one of those paintings .

The sr . Farnsworth says Adam Sorg no business in weeks.

He seems to be hibernating.

Mr. Farnsworth says Sorg has a house not far from the beach.

And he has not left these days . Not to buy art supplies.

Vamos a la playa mother. Maybe I convince mr . Sorg to paint a picture of mine .

Are not you going to the deserted part , right?

You'll spend half the day to get there.

We like you, mother. Other beaches are too crowded .

We found a place we like and probably go there.

And after dark , aremos a picknick .

I think Iran late.

Do not worry, mother. What can go on a deserted beach?

What were taking ? Come on, idiots.

- All good - . Where are the blankets ?

Here they are .

Here's the towel.

- Have the rest - Yes , it's all here .

- Come to the water , fast . - Rolf , we go swimming ?

All right . Good idea . Come on!

-Rolf - What ?

- No suit swimsuit . And you - Wait 'll look .

Do Not.

Let the house to move . It seems empty.

And lose the sun? Do not be scrupulous . We change here .

Let us change here .

Sidney !

- List - Good.

Voila !

I think I will not do that . 'm Going to change there.

Come on, bring the covers far, clowns.

All right.

I 'm looking for a model. Did this interested in the paint ?

You are ... are you an artist?

Of course not , I'm a biker , why I need a model.

- Sorry - . Wait a minute.

I want to show you something.

Take a look .

- There's nothing there - . That's it.

This fabric is waiting . You can spice .

- You want me to pose for you - Yes .

- Like? What pose - The way you want.

This painting is ... you.

- I'm with some friends - . Let them return to their home.

Return later.

I can not do that . Sorry .

You're really a painter ? I mean, you are known ?

- Some people will believe that if - . What is your name?

Adam Sorg .

Adam Sorg ! My mother tried to buy one of his paintings .

She can have this . For nothing . Will my present.

I ... do not know.

Maybe tonight . No .

If . Maybe tonight .

Where were you? I thought you were lost there.

No. I was looking for ... one thing.

Were you looking for a thing ? What was it?

Nothing . I said \"nothing\" .

As will find something , despite being nothing.

- As I'm not looking for anything ... - Acabare finding something .

I should take a a career in submarines.

Here we go , dear . What is the matter with you ?

Prepared ! Aim! Fire!

These , very quiet tonight .

I 'm trying to decide if I 'll do something.

Sorry to be a lousy company.

- Rolf , is that painter ... - Painter ?

You mean , the guy who makes his living honestly painting houses ?

Or is the guy who has a beard and sandals ?

He ... he wants to paint .

\" My cherie \" I am a painter famous. I would paint it.

I 'm honored.

Ah , that vocabulary . Can I paint it? \" Oui \"?

You can paint me .

As well . You paint .

As well . You repaint .

That crazy !

Because these nerve . Dear , calm down .

Already . I have a little something . A drink to cheer .

Paul , you know I do not drink ... milk.

What do you think of that painter ?

He is a very famous painter . He wants me pose for him.

Naked, I guess.

What makes you think that?

Because I'd like to paint naked .

- You're not a painter - . If you cared , that does not prevent it me .

Tell me when this Rasputin- Rembrandt wants poses naked ?

Tonight . And for your information , he does not want to paint naked.

Does not want to, ah? Obviously knows something about you that I do not know.

Well , miss . Carter , Colonel Rolf is in charge.

Let's go get the car and go to more phone next post ...

and call your painter for the wait itself .

Tonight . We can say that an unexpectedly emerged .

We'll call right now

- In that place is his studio - This ... this far .

Rolf , if we both go, Jack and Sydney think that something is wrong .

Give me the keys and I 'll go alone . You wait for them.

You give me the keys.

No, dear, I wanna go with you . Do not take a few minutes to arrive .

They are far away. Besides that , they will back wet and they will spoil your car.

Come on, sweetie . Give me the keys and when I return , I will be very good love .

What kind of humor?

That kind of humor . Now give me the keys.

Well, before the end of the night you can be the owner of that car .

Here are your shoes.

And again soon.

- No I'm doing here - . Yes, I know.

Do your friends know that you here?

No, but I can not stay for long.

I should have called to warn that it could not pose for you.

Do they know I asked to pose for me?

They know it was you or this house. Why?

Well, if we can not delay , better start .

Sit over there.

Want to do something?

Not yet.

Me should not pose or something?

I'm not a photographer, am a painter .

I paint what I feel , not what I see.

You want me to sit here?

Just for a moment . You know when to be moved .

That painting looks like blood .

They refer to it when talk that leaves your blood ...

That's not funny !

Excuse me. Sorry . I'm just mad at me .

- I better go - .No! No !

I ... I'm almost ready .

Stand there.

- That's ... -Do not touch ! It is loaded .

- You want me ... -No!

Levante it I do not get nervous .

Hey , Jack , I want to undress !

Why do not you take it ? You make me nervous .

- Do not tell me - You could lose .

And how would stay with half a bikini ?

If only you keep this end up losing everything.

Yo, you 'll lose . You either which way I go.

Hey, where was your girl ? I flee ? Disappeared?

She was making a phone call.

- In that house - No, in the position of the road.

Look, I have a light . I thought it was a desert.

Uh , I 'm frozen .

Do not tell me . You podés naked to Fort Knox.

Not that kind of cold . This kind of cold, stupid.

Why will not find more branches ? April and I joined them.

Now it's your turn . There's a mountain near the beach .

Here we go , miss . Iceberg, go find branches.

- Oh , wait a minute - . Well .

I can not stay longer . What's the problem?

You seem to not get to maintain the pose.

I tell you what I'll do . I'll help you keep your arms as well .

- The memory will paint - . How to do that ?

Look .

What are you doing ?

Thus , you can relax your arms and maintain the same position.

Do not tie me!

It's just a moment, I think something up .

You can wait just a minute.

Wait here? I have to do , I can not move .

Jack, come here to give me a hand , okay ?

Jack!

Jack!

Holy Banana ! Is the leg of a girl.

I have to go. Back another day so ends .

It's just one minute ! I'm making the draft.

- Look at that horrible madness - . It is the body of a girl.

Brilliant deduction , expert ! What now ?

I go to that house, to call the police.

You two stay here . April should be back any minute.

You're right, but I'll wait near the fire.

Maybe I 'll call . I hope you have a phone there.

If no , take a flashlight and illuminate several times.

Gritare high enough that the police 4 counties heard.

One more thing .

To perfect neck line . Turn around for me.

I'm tired . I loose . This is ridiculous .

Do you say to me, \"ridiculous\" ?

I never heard of anything like this before . This is not a way of painting .

Put me down !

You will be immortalized in a fabric Sorg , like it or not .

Turn around !

Do what I ask . Turn around.

- Count to twenty and open ended - . What ?

Stay that way . No! Do not turn !

For the love of ... Once. Twelve.

I'm not having fun, sr . Sorg . Tell one to twenty.

Thirteen . Fourteen .

I can use ... April !

- What the hell 's going on here - What are you doing with that ax ?

I'm just working with an idea.

That's her young boyfriend . Invite them to happen.

I'm already inside . Where is your phone ?

I have no phone . You're tough , young man.

You also would be rude if see her tied girl.

And a man with an ax in hand and blood in the other.

- And a corpse on the beach . - A corpse ?

- April , do not you're doing here ... -Stay away from her!

Quiet ! If arriving come flying your head.

Well , that ... Girl the beach ... it was a misunderstanding.

- Nothing about it - . I do not believe that.

First, not say it was a girl.

And how would know that is a girl unless you 've killed ?

Young man, is making a mistake .

And let ...

If you approach this weapon , le delivery head.

And that girl on the beach ... it was nothing .

He could live or die , and it would not matter.

But now , she will live forever, in my fabric.

She is immortal . She will live forever.

That beach thing ... is just an empty shell. Just that.

But life and blood it is what lives .

That keeps it alive . She's alive in my painting .

His life, his blood ... people 's admired forever.

Does her blood ? You use it as ink?

Now , young man , get away from that weapon or your girl dies now.

Stay away from that gun and stay aside. Stay away from that gun !

Hey , man, is just a crazy game over !

Stop !

Oh , my God !

Oh , no!

I do not buy a painting for some time.

You must have courage , my friend, to destroy a painting worth millions .

Mr. Gregorovich , I'm not burn a painting.

I 'm lighting the pyre Funeral Adam Sorg .

You could , at least , have saved the molding.

Trust me.

Don't give me no "Joe Carcione" routine here.

This is some of the finest. Acapulco red.

Check it out.

Allow me.

OK, I'll take it.

Hey, pleasure doing business with you.

Tomatoes! Did you see that? That guy's a smuggler!

We've got to call the police or the FBI or somebody.

- Over a few tomatoes? - They're illegal.

If this keeps up we'll all be up to our necks...

- Valerian root powder. - What?

Valerian root powder.

War stories. What do you really know about tomatoes anyway?

How would you feel if you'd been raised to be eaten?

Wouldn't you rebel at the first opportunity?

What are you talking about?

Honey, you can't possibly be defending those monsters.

They nearly destroyed my uncle and everything else in this country.

No way I'm gonna defend tomatoes.

Cheap talk from a carnivore.

Let go!

Look, I'm sorry I spouted off at you.

I guess Uncle Wilbur has been getting to me.

You've got to reject the older generation thinking, Chad.

New ideas for a new generation.

You can't keep fighting the wars over and over for them.

Welcome to Le Restaurant, the finest in nouvelle California cuisine.

We offer three specials today for your dining enjoyment.

First, baby peas in a piquant white wine sauce.

We also feature a broiled oyster in a bed of wild oats.

Thirdly, a succulent cut of the finest organically mountain-grown turnips

with fresh sprigs of parsley,

delicately seasoned with sea salt and bean sprouts.

Fine. Two turnips.

Don't you have any red meat? I don't eat vegetables.

How about a chili dog?

- Fine. - Very good, ma'am.

May I suggest something from the bar while you're waiting.

I recommend the diet celery juice cooler.

Whatever. Great.

Think about what I said, Chad.

Don't let someone else tell you what to fear, or what to feel.

Look, there's not a person in here who would have acted any differently.

Tomatoes are evil. A good tomato is a squashed tomato.

Period.

Great. Beautiful.

What is with you?

No!

A tomato!

A tomato!

What's going on?

- Fire drill? - Oh.

Well, come on, let's go.

She was screaming something about tomatoes.

Yeah?

The red convertible.

The garbage truck.

Mrs Williams, please be calm. There's nothing to be afraid of.

OK, let's go ahead and turn on the light there, Jerry.

Ma'am, this will just take a second. Here we go. Are you ready?

Please bear with us. In three, two... and one.

Ma'am, just calm down and tell us what you saw in there?

Well, I was eating dinner. It was terrible.

Let's save the restaurant review, lady, just tell us about the tomato.

I was sitting there by myself and this...

Wait, wait a minute. You were alone?

- What? Yes. - What's the matter?

You couldn't get a date? What about your husband?

- He... He's dead. - What was it, suicide maybe?

No, he was killed in the Great Tomato War!

Ma'am, that's ancient history.

You should have found somebody by now.

- I can't see what this had to do with... - You can't see your feet.

Do the words "fat cow" mean anything to you?

Get away from me! Get away.

This woman is obviously too distraught to talk to our television camera.

I will attempt to find someone else.

Hey, you with the big nose. That's right, you?

How would you like to be on television with Charles White?

Someday that'll be me.

Have a nice evening.

That's not mine!

Hey, lady, has there been a chase scene in this movie yet?

No. And it's already 25 minutes old.

Good.

Well, that's the shortest chase I've ever seen.

Low budget movie.

'It's 7:45 and time for this morning's farm report,

'brought to you by Kimco.

'Remember, it's Kimco for all your agricultural needs.

'First, a quick look at the commodities' board shows...'

What did you want to talk to me about?

Listen, buddy, it's about your girlfriend.

It's cool that she's staying here and all that, but...

But what?

You see... Give me that! You see that?

That's a 2,000 dollar stereo system. She won't let me use it.

She hates music. She hates all kinds of music.

She hates Mozart and Sinatra and The Grateful Dead.

Now come on, who hates The Grateful Dead?

She loves the farm report.

She tapes the farm report. She plays it again and again and again.

OK, I'll talk to her.

'...hailstorms being the major culprit.

'Coupled with reports that the Soviet crop looks unusually good this year...'

635 sexual positions?

That's what she says anyway.

Well, it's definitely a learning experience.

Last night she brought in... a lawn chair...

six milk bottles, a tuning fork, and...

FT!

'Dr Heinrich Gerhard contends that California is ideal

'for all kinds of nuts and fruits.'

FT! FT!

Wait!

Tomato!

Tomato! Kill it!

- Tomato lover! - Get those tomato lovers!

Stripteasers, topless dancers, nude beaches, women taking showers.

Good or bad?

We begin a 15-part investigative report

starting next Monday here on Channel 6.

And let me tell you, the store...

What the heck? Let's get some shots of this.

Hey, wait up! Where are they?

- Who cares. - I care. What is that?

- FT. - FT? What's that?

- It's red. It's a gerbil. - It's not a gerbil.

The eyes! Eyes!

Why can't I get the eyes right?

Every time the ears are perfect. The mouth perfect.

The eyes are never right!

- Professor Gangreen... - What?

Sorry to interrupt, sir, but I found Tara.

What? Are you sure it was she?

Yes, sir. Corner of Fifth and Evergreen. I was there live at the scene.

You know, if I had my own mini-cam, I could really...

Shut up! Follow her. Find out where she's living.

We must get her back. We cannot afford to attract attention.

Be discreet.

So let it be written. So let it be done.

I wonder if I can remember how to do those brain transplants.

Wait, are you nuts? That's a tomato!

He's not a tomato. It's just a fuzzy little dog.

Dog? That's no dog! What dog has red fur and only two legs?

Well, what tomato has red fur and any legs at all?

Cut it! Cut it! Save the film, strike the broads, kill the babies!

My friends, I am sorry, but it looks like we are out of money for this picture.

If we don't raise some bucks fast this film is history. I'm sorry about that.

I turned down a pilot for this. Isn't there something we can do?

Don't talk to me, ask the genius producer.

He's probably in Tahiti by now.

Can't we raise money, cut corners somewhere?

Cut corners? Have you been watching the last two weeks?

I've got five actors playing ten parts. Heck, I'm playing three parts myself.

Have you seen these special effects. Show him the special effects.

Gentlemen, ladies... we've been avoiding it, but it's the '80s.

I think it's time... for product placement.

Give me that beer. This generic stuff, you know, generic?

It's not going to cut it.

I say product placement. It'll work. I think you should trust me on this.

- Hey, that's a great idea, J.D. - Brand names.

- Product... - Product placement.

All right, look, trust don't pay the Actors Guild.

- I don't have a choice right now. - Who cares about the Actors Guild?

Folks, we're going to make the movie. We're going back into it.

We're going to see what we can do. Product placement.

- Move back behind the camera. - Hold it! Hold it!

- Who are you? - I am from the Screen Actors Guild.

And according to Section 7.3, sub-paragraph 4, line 5,

anybody who speaks on film gets paid.

- He just spoke on film, so 400 dollars. - He's not in the movie.

- I did not tell him to be in the movie. - It doesn't matter. He spoke on film.

- I'm speaking on film. I get paid. - No, no, no.

- No, no, no. - Anybody else talks, 400 dollars.

Nobody else say a word!

OK.

Roll 'em.

And "Return of the Killer Tomatoes", Scene 32, dash 1, take 5. Marker.

And, action.

- How are you doing? - Just fine.

- What can I get for you. - I'm kind of thirsty.

I wonder if you got something I could drink.

Tell you what. When I'm thirsty. I go out and get myself a Pepsi Cola.

- Wow! - A Pepsi Cola!

It's the choice of a new generation.

Groovy. But I'm a little hungry, too.

Kind of hungry, I'll tell you. Well, when I get a little hungry,

I go out, I pick myself up a Nestl�'s Crunch Bar.

Yes, it scrunches when it crunches.

I'd heard that. But I'm also dry.

- You're dry? - Yeah. Parched?

- You need a beer? - I could use a beer.

- How about a Moosehead? - A Moosehead.

- Moosehead. - From the North.

From the North. Or a Foster's.

- Foster's. From the South. - Down under. G'day, mate.

- Hey ho, sir. - Hey, Matt.

Hey, Chad. How about a Crest?

Yeah, I gotta talk to you now.

Here, you need this.

Crest, with tartar control.

Listen, Matt, I've got a real problem with Tara.

I'd say that's the ugliest little red dog I've ever seen.

What I mean is, she's acting strange.

Buddy, she likes you.

You're no help at all.

Listen, there's something she isn't telling me about Gangreen

and what happened up there. I gotta find out what's going on.

Good afternoon, sir. Have you any falafel?

My God! It's Muammar Gaddafi!

You lunatic!

Where's the fight at?

All right!

All right, that's it! Everybody out!

Ah man! Party pooper.

You son of a...

Uncle Wilbur!

God, knock it off.

It isn't Gaddafi. It's Sam Smith.

Wilbur, it's me, your old buddy, Sam. From the war.

Sam! Still the master of disguise. Sure had us fooled, huh, boys?

It's amazing. You remember him in "Beatlemania"?

That was you? That was great.

What brings you out this way? I heard you still work for the government.

Sure do. FVI. Federal Vegetable Investigation.

Federal Vegetable Investigation.

We had a report of tomato activity in this sector.

You fellas know anything about this?

Tomatoes? No, I've never seen a tomato in my life.

Officer, tomatoes are illegal.

We wouldn't know about anything illegal, right, Chad?

Shut up, Matt.

- No, sir. - You can believe these boys, Sam.

They know what tomato activity can lead to.

- Tell me what you've got. - Telephone calls.

This restaurant. This woman was actually turned into a tomato.

A woman tomato.

- I knew it. - What?

- See that garbage truck? - Yeah, what about it?

I know I've seen it before.

I saw it when we found that thing Tara was chasing.

The driver's following us. Or her.

- I think you're imagining things. - I don't imagine garbage trucks.

Besides, there's got to be some kind of reason why Tara left that place.

Maybe this truck has something to do with it.

Let's follow it.

You follow your own delusions. I'm staying here. Have a Goobers.

From the front of Finletter's Pizza,

just down the street from H and L Block...

The tax people.

This is Igor speaking to you from the Amalgamated cellular truck phone.

- Amalgamated, we're number one. - 'From the other end of your paycheck

this is your boss, you weenie. What have you found out?

'I have the alleged boy spotted, but Tara's not with him.'

Good. Follow him home after the pizza parlour closes tonight.

Right now I need more solution for the tomato transformation process.

- 'Immediately! ' - Roger. That's a big 1040.

I'll be right back after this brief interruption.

'Igor! '

- Good, good. Put it down. - OK.

'Good afternoon and welcome to the smorgasbord of sports.

'I'm Charlie Jones with today's live coverage

'of "Full Contact America's Cup".

'Now let's take a look at some of the taped highlights

'of this morning's competition.

'Today's action pits the United States

'against mighty Holland. Look out!

'There's a broadside that just missed the mainland.

'The American boat opens up full side. Score one for the good old USA.

'The Dutch boat is taking water...'

Matt, toxic waste, Gangreen, tomatoes, music, people!

Slow down there, buddy. Get a hold of yourself.

I followed that truck. Some sort of flunky for Gangreen,

using toxic waste on tomatoes. It was horrible.

We've got to do something. What can...?

Tara! I have to tell Tara!

She should hear this. No wonder she ran away.

Honey...

'Holland will literally sink to the bottom of the standings.'

Get out!

I'm sorry, Chad!

'Another broadside for the American boat.

'I'm trying to see the results through the smoke.

'I got to tell you. This is what real sports action is all about.

'Just a cup, a sail, and a couple of sidewinder missiles.'

'Charlie, I couldn't agree with you more.

'Ron Maxwell, calling the action from dockside.

'Those were highlights...'

I can't believe she's a...

tomato.

Boy, I'll say she's a tomato. She's got the best set of...

Knock it off, will you? I mean she's really a tomato.

Ketchup makings. The real thing.

The girl of my dreams is a vegetable.

Buddy, come on, pizza man.

Tomatoes, they're little red round things, you know. There's a real woman.

Don't you realise what I've been trying to tell you?

What I saw at Gangreen's lab?

I discovered it. The key to the whole thing. Don't you see?

The secret is... music!

We've got to find her before she accidentally changes form.

If she becomes a tomato and is spotted by a crowd...

- Come on... - OK.

Tara!

Chad, come here! Come here! Look at this.

I think this could be, look.

No? I took a shot.

All right. Come on. Where do you think she's gone?

I don't know... There!

There, she's been there before.

Music! She'll change back.

Hey, Tara!

- What are you doing? - Stop!

Tara? Honey, I know you're here somewhere. Say something.

Give me a sign.

What are you guys doing? Get out of my store.

- It's a fraternity initiation. Alpha Beta... - Out of here, now!

- I think we've got to get out of here. - Hey!

Now move it or lose it!

Right here, over here. I got something to show you.

I'll be right back. And when I do, you guys had better be gone.

Out of here!

Tara, where are you? I'm sorry, please speak to me.

Buddy, we ought to get out of here.

I'm not leaving without her. I know she's here somewhere.

All right, look, just for the sake of argument, let's suppose she's a tomato.

Let's go so far as to suppose that she's here.

How do you tell one tomato from another?

Are we going to check the stems?

Then I guess we'll just have to take them all, won't we?

I'll get a cart.

'50 bucks? That's too much. And this one is deformed.

'It's a hairy.'

FT? Tara?

Oh, come on, baby. You're safe with me now.

'We'll return to our movie thriller "Frankenstein's Mummy"...'

I know music is what makes you change. So why is nothing working?

At least speak to me. Say something.

I'm sorry I reacted that way. It was a shock.

We can work this out. I just need some time.

I love you as much as ever, darling. Please believe me.

'And now, the exciting conclusion of "Frankenstein's Mummy".'

'At last I have perfected the equipment

'that will allow me to transform my creation into human form.

'And it's all right here, in my own secret laboratory. Ha-ha!

'Yes, right here in my secret lab

'I can transform this creature into a human being!

'I said, transform...

'into human being.

'My secret laboratory.

'La-bo-ra-to-ry

'I mentioned.'

Of course. That's it! The professor's lab.

We can use his equipment to change her back to human form.

Matt!

'It's about time.'

Matt, buddy, get up. The professor's lab, come on.

We'll use his equipment. I've watched him work it.

We can transform her back to human form.

- Are you Rob Lowe? - You're not Matt.

No, buddy, no. My girl, OK? My girl.

Now, listen, you want to find your girl? You go to the produce department. OK?

But Matt, I figured it out. We can bust into his lab.

We'll use his equipment.

Here, hold this. I got one thing to say to you, the Women of Mensa.

- Hey, I need you. - Come on, I need her.

Matt, I'm your best friend. I saved your life.

- One time. - Twice.

Two times. And it was...

Two, yeah... I'll be right back.

I'll take my quadrunner.

Well, if you take your quadrunner from Hondo of San Diego,

I'll take my quadrunner.

We will each take a Honda quadrunner from Honda of San Diego.

They have excellent acceleration and superb ridability.

And aren't they number one in sales, Matt?

That's right, Chad. Not to mention great gas mileage and did you know...?

Do we have enough money to finish this turkey yet?

Yeah, sure, give them hell, guys.

Thank you.

- Stay close. - This close?

- No, let go of me. - Hold on.

Help me open the window.

Get in.

Shh, come on, get in here!

Let go of me.

OK, now where?

I don't know. I just looked through that hole in the wall.

The lab can't be too hard to find.

Green comes downstairs, there's the Hardy Boys.

What are we supposed to do? Look for a sign that says laboratory?

I can read.

Hey, Matt, this looks like the place. Now if you'll just let go of me.

Now we're in business.

Look at this stuff!

Wait, you know what you're doing here?

Yeah, I watched him do it. It's a piece of cake.

Now, put a glove on.

All right, switch.

You said you knew what you were doing.

They all look alike.

See. Now, you take Tara...

...carefully,

and put her in that container of green liquid.

OK.

Hurry up.

And Matt, be very careful when you're putting her in. That's toxic waste.

- Toxic waste. - You're soaking in it.

That should do it.

Now, put her in that cylinder.

Perfect.

Now, watch this.

Who's that?

Carmen Miranda.

- That's what I thought. - Something is very wrong.

Hey, Pope.

- I say we stop right here. - No, it's not her!

And it never will be.

I'm a happy camper.

I don't know what plans you had for this tomato, but...

...they're over.

No!

Enough of this foolishness.

Since you seem so intent on visiting my humble abode,

I should make you feel welcome.

Igor, show them to the, er... guest room.

We don't have a guest room, sir. All we've got is a dungeon.

"Guest room" is a euphemism for dungeon, chowderhead!

- Must I always be literal? - Move it, boys.

Go...

Now, go!

Wait, wait, come here! Come here. See that?

Now how many girls can you make with that thing?

You know, like twins with big...

Move it, twerp.

Let's go.

Uh-oh.

Oh! Nice digs. Who does your decorating?

- Inside. - Hey, wait...

- He mushed my girl. - Yeah.

Great!

All right, this is just great.

Can't you think of anything but your own comfort?

You saw what that freak did to Tara.

I'm sorry, buddy, I wasn't thinking.

All right, let's find a way to get out of here.

OK.

- What's that noise? - Mice?

Big mouse.

No, it's horrible creatures,

it's giant zucchini and man-eating artichokes!

Shut up! I'll handle this, all right.

Yo! Zucchini...

Tara?

Chad...

Tara...

I thought you never wanted to see me again.

I thought you were ketchup.

I'm so sorry I deceived you.

- I'm the one who's sorry. - Look, look... excuse me.

I'm glad you're alive. I hate to break up a love scene,

but I just thought that I would point out

that instead of two of us being stuck in here,

it's now three of us stuck in here.

Good point.

Hello... Hello?

FT! FT!

FT! FT, is that you?

It's him.

FT, you have to tell Uncle Wilbur where we are.

- He can get us out of here. - It's never going to work.

- He won't understand him. - Well, we could write a note.

Swell. Where we going to get paper to write a note?

- Use a page from my script. - Perfect.

Got a pen? Great.

FT, listen. You have to take this note to Wilbur Finletter.

You remember Wilbur Finletter? Good.

Hurry, FT.

You have to run as fast as your little feet will take you.

Hurry! Go! Go!

I hope he makes it out before July.

Tomato!

A bit deformed, but it's a tomato all right.

Freeze! Don't move!

I got you!

All right, now talk!

What's this?

I don't know how you got this, but it's Chad's handwriting all right.

"Uncle Wilbur. Please do not harm this tomato.

"I'm a prisoner of Professor Gangreen."

Prisoner? Where's Matt?

"Matt is here also. This tomato can show you where we are."

He knows I don't trust tomatoes.

"Now I know you don't trust tomatoes, but trust this one for once.

"Signed, your nephew, Chad."

All right, you red scum. This better be for real,

or it's the blender for you. Can't do it alone. I'll need help.

'This American team is a fired up bunch of patriots.

'After crushing the Portuguese fleet yesterday afternoon.'

- Hello. - 'Sam! Get over here.'

Gonna need your help fighting the red menace again.

- Communists, huh? - Worse. Tomatoes.

Tomatoes? I'll be right there!

Come on, Greg. Let's go.

Welcome, men. Glad you could make it.

This is our objective. Gangreen's place.

He won't slip through some legal loophole this time.

We're behind you all the way.

And this is our insurance.

Grab him, Sam.

World domination, boys. World domination.

I will be satisfied with nothing less.

You'll never get away with this, you slime. Crime doesn't pay.

Yeah, ditto.

Really boys, save the melodramatics for your acting classes.

Of course crime pays. This is real life!

This isn't some game!

We're on to you, Gangreen. We know all about your tomato people.

You're finished.

Don't make me laugh. Your feeble plan to stop me has failed, Finletter.

You think this is all there is?

No, no, no, my dear boy. There is much, much more.

As you've seen, my tomatoes can be made to resemble anyone.

The chief of police. A congressman.

The President himself!

With my scientific genius

and Jim Richardson's political savvy, we will not fail again!

Come, Igor.

We must get to the prison on time.

If the garbage truck doesn't make its regular schedule,

it will arouse suspicion.

Now you have placed the tomatoes on the truck?

We're loaded, ready to roll, Professor.

Good, good, good. So long, boys.

Wait, what about Tara?

You forget. She is my creation.

I made her for my needs and it is my needs that she serves!

You wouldn't believe what she can do with six milk bottles and a tuning fork.

You rat!

Calm down, Mr Finletter.

In just ten minutes you'll be a tomato.

Don't worry about it. It's not so bad.

After all, you could have been a rutabaga.

No, no. I'll do the laughing, if you please.

See you in a salsa.

To the prison, Igor.

Oh, my God.

- Guards! Damn! - We need a distraction.

- That little fink. - Oops.

There's our diversion.

What do you know about that?

A regular Tonto.

Let's go.

So, where are they?

This place must have 50 rooms. It's big.

We'll have to spread out.

If you hear anything,

anything at all,

use the secret call.

The secret call. Yeah.

Mummy... Mummy...

Mummy... Mummy...

Mummy... Mummy...

Will you be my friend? Help, help!

Murder, murder. Wait, stop!

Stop. Danger.

He's dead. He's dead...

The secret's out. Hi ho Silver! Away!

Uncle!

The timer!

The timer! The timer!

The timer!

Get up!

Get up!

Time out! Time out!

- Nice move. - Thank you.

Now hurry up, Uncle Wilbur. We only have a few seconds left.

That was our last time out.

Let go of me!

Hang on, Wilbur. We're coming.

Ah!

Ghost! Wilbur?

- Get the door! - Get the door!

You got the door!

Tara! We have to get to the prison and save Tara. Come on. Let's go!

Let's go! Let's go!

Matt?

- Come on, Matt. - But the blonde there...

No!

I'm so alone, I'll be back!

Follow me, men. To the prison!

Got to get to the prison! Come on, everybody!

One, two, one, two...

Get up!

Let's go! Fire 'em up!

FT? Where's FT? Come on, buddy, let's go!

FT!

Hang on, fuzzball.

Here, here!

No!

All right. Right here.

Right here. Hurry! Hurry!

No!

Quickly, go!

Don't lose them.

Open the door!

- Sam, get the gate! Open it up! - OK.

Hurry, Sam.

OK, FT, you stay here and guard the bikes. Matt, you come with me.

- I'll guard the bikes. - FT's guarding the bikes.

- I don't like FT. - You're coming with me.

- I'll go with you. - Let's go, let's go.

Come on. I'll guard the flank, you go ahead.

Ready.

Aim.

No!

Fire!

Tomatoes.

Charge!

Let's get 'em!

Tara!

I will not be mocked any longer. I was a star in the first film...

You give me two lousy lines in this picture.

I want my agent. I want my publicist...

Please!

I'm really bad.

- Yeah. - Let's go, men!

Tara!

Don't move, or she gets it!

It'll take more than that to scare me.

How about this hand grenade?

That'll do it.

Hello? No, I don't know the secret word for today.

You have ten seconds.

I said I don't know the...

You notice how everything we set up in the first reel pays off in the last?

- Pretty swift, huh? - Not everything.

Everything.

A grenade!

Tara!

No, come on, nobody can survive that gas.

Listen to me.

There's nothing you can do.

Sorry, buddy.

Tara!

I don't understand. How could you have survived?

You forget, I'm not human.

I don't care what you are, as long as we're together.

Then you'd better get used to her on your salads.

OK, wait. You're supposed to be a tomato. What happened?

Zounds! Should have known it.

Once you've been gassed, you'll never be a real tomato again.

You mean I'm human permanently?

FVI . Take these men away.

No prison on earth can hold me, Tara. Tomorrow is another day.

Does this mean we'll be on the news tonight?

Oh, cut that out.

Ding dong, the witch is dead. Yeah.

- Right there, guys. - Yes!

Where's FT?

That was the bravest thing I've ever seen a vegetable do.

Yeah.

Maybe tomatoes can be of some good after all.

FT's all right.

FT's alive!

He's all right! Hey, guys, it's the press!

It's all right. Hey, all right, I was not alone.

The people I want to thank... It was mostly me, but...

Wait, come on, look, I jumped in this window and I was...

- Major Finletter, what happened here? - How did you stop this terrible plan?

Is it true you wear women's underwear?

Wrong man! Wrong man.

There's your hero. That's the little fella that saved the day.

Right here. Right there...

Isn't he the cutest thing, Daddy?

Daddy, buy me an FT doll! Please, Daddy!

Why, of course, dear. Who wouldn't want one of these cute little dolls?

They're the perfect gift for any boy or girl

and they're on sale in the lobby of this theatre.

If not, ask at your favourite toy or department store.

Don't let your child be left out. Christmas isn't very far away.

I love you, FT.

- I want an FT! - I want an FT!

FT! FT!

FT! FT!

- A fine couple. - Yeah.

Have you seen Matt?

He said he was going back to destroy that transformation equipment.

- Good idea. He's a fine boy, too. - Yeah.

# Like poetry in motion Like a perfect wave

# Gonna ride with the winds Spend the money and save

# 'Cause summer's here and I got nothing to do

# But get my rocks off

# When those big-breasted tomatoes go to the beach #

Hold it right there! Where do you think you're going?

My son and a lot of other people have worked hard on this movie.

You sit right there and watch these credits!

# And take their tops off

# Those California girls that just love the best

# They got an even tan all over their chests

# I'll be California dreaming till the sun goes down

# I get around, round, get around, I get around

# Those southern girls how they hypnotise

# Got the cutest way of talking And I like their eyes

# But those New York girls You got to see them drivin'

# With their tops down

# When those big-breasted girls go to the beach

# And take their tops off

# Those big-breasted girls go to the beach

# And I love to see her swaying

# She got a rhythm of her own

# Someday soon if I keep praying, praying

# She might see how big I've grown

# And won't it be fine

# Now summer's gone but she's on my mind

# After one night's kiss I had to leave her behind

# So it's back to school If only I can get me through it #

'Well, what did you think of that one, Sid?'

'That had to be one of the worst movies I ever saw.'

'But it's all part of the business, running turkeys like that.'

'Listen, Bob, when can we show "big-breasted women

go to the beach and take their tops off" again?

- I'd like that. - Let's do that tomorrow.

All right. Who let those carrots in here?

Hey, you carrots, get off the stage!

Hey, wait a minute. You guys can't come in here.