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1
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,960
(Laughter and applause)
2
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:58,598
Another one like that and we've won!
My word, this is a great event for you, my dear!
3
00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,557
Watching two of your hottest suitors
4
00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:05,555
- making a last wicket stand together.
- Bo and Humphrey do everything together.
5
00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:10,713
Yes!
6
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,913
- Howzat?
- (Laughter and applause)
7
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,149
He's out!
8
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,910
- Bad luck, sir.
- Thank you, Simpson.
9
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,753
We only had four more runs to get, sir.
10
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,877
Well, it's all in the game, Simpson.
11
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,157
Hard luck, Humph, old man.
12
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,197
Take your hands off me, you cad!
13
00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:39,237
Eh? What's up, old man?
14
00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:43,314
You know damn well what's up!
You deliberately tripped me.
15
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:46,153
- Humphrey, what are you saying?
- You tripped me.
16
00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:47,799
Now, just a minute, gentlemen.
17
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:51,714
This is an extremely grave charge
you're making, Captain Bagshaw.
18
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:56,078
- Mr West, is there any truth in it?
- No, of course not. Humphrey's my friend!
19
00:02:56,160 --> 00:03:01,030
- Why would I want to do a thing like that?
- Then you're saying Captain Bagshaw is a liar.
20
00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:05,000
Well, no, I don't mean that, but. ..
he must have tripped over his bootlace.
21
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:09,438
My bootlace?!
The lace on my elastic-sided boots?
22
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:13,354
Oh, Bo, how could you do
such a despicable thing?
23
00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:17,070
Mr West,
you are no longer welcome in my house,
24
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:20,676
nor as a member of my cricket team.
25
00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,114
Come, Jane!
26
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:31,829
I've lost her, Simpson.
27
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,037
(Chatter)
28
00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:42,760
This letter has just arrived for you, milady.
29
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,758
Thank you, Nightingale. Excuse me.
30
00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,077
What is it, my beloved?
31
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,314
It's Bo. It's Mr West, he's...
32
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,630
(Sobs)
33
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,912
My dearest Jane,
by the time you receive this letter,
34
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,230
I shall have left this country for good.
35
00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:12,915
The only hope I have of forgetting
the terrible things that have happened
36
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,719
is to join the French Foreign Legion.
37
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,154
Oh, nol
38
00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:19,197
Excuse me.
39
00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:26,879
Oh, never mind, my dear.
His life wouldn't have been worth living here.
40
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,992
- No other cricket club would have accepted him.
- (Sobs) Oh!
41
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:32,037
(Gunshot)
- What the...?
42
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:33,076
(Gasps)
43
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:47,357
Well, cut him down, someone! Cut him down!
He's dripping all over my best carpet!
44
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:49,397
Excuse me, milady.
45
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:59,351
Oh, Humphrey! What made you do it? Why?
46
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,397
I...
47
00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:02,879
lied.
48
00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,918
Bo... Bo didn't trip me.
49
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,638
...fell..
50
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:09,909
...ON purpose.
51
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,957
Oh, Bo!
52
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,953
Dearest Bo, what have we done to you?
53
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,997
(Camel bellows)
54
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,037
(Cock crows)
55
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:25,720
(Squawking)
56
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,838
- Whoa, Cleo!
- Is this it, Simpson?
57
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,275
Yes, sir. Sidi-bel-Abbés.
58
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,749
- Well, get me down, Simpson.
- Certainly, sir.
59
00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:36,719
Hey, you! Arab fellow! Camel up! Obo!
60
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,757
(Camel bellows)
61
00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:40,956
Argh! Ooh!
62
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,680
Aah! Aah! My foot...
63
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:47,594
- Let go of the thing.
- Damn it, I'll never get used to that!
64
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,240
I expected the back end to go down first.
65
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,277
Oh!
66
00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:53,794
Oh, well, never mind that.
67
00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:56,269
- Find out where one joins up around here.
- Yes, sir.
68
00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,112
BO: Let's try that café over there.
69
00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,157
Very well, sir.
70
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:08,953
BO: Anyone home?
71
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:16,712
Good morning, madam.
My name is Bertram Oliphant West.
72
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,916
Well, I'm sorry, but what can [ do about it?
73
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,038
My name is Zigzig.
And what can you do about that?
74
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,634
No, no, you misunderstand me, madam.
75
00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,553
I merely wish to ask where one goes
to join the Foreign Legion.
76
00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:29,597
Ah, just one moment.
77
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,354
- I go ask the sergeant.
- Sergeant?
78
00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:36,991
Sergeant Nocker. He is important man
in Legion. He know everything.
79
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:38,639
Is he here?
80
00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:40,677
Oh, yes.
81
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:43,320
Often.
82
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:46,313
Perhaps it's the married quarters, Simpson.
83
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:50,477
(Murmurs sleepily)
84
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,837
Ah! (Chuckles)
85
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:56,877
Hello, sugar date.
86
00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:00,794
Not now, baby. I gotta get some sleep.
87
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:04,077
- Hey, hey, hey!
- (Chuckles)
88
00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:07,039
What is this strange fascination
I have over them?
89
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:10,078
Why can't they let me alone but for a moment?
90
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:12,231
Heart of my heart, I only want to talk.
91
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,550
You go right ahead and talk, sugar date.
92
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:19,713
- You talk while I get some sleep.
- No, no, no, don't go to sleep yet.
93
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:22,633
There are two men here
who are wanting to join you.
94
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:25,838
Nothing doing. Let them find their own bed!
95
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,594
No, no! To join you in the Legion!
96
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:33,959
Simple. Let them report to headquarters.
It's just the other side of town.
97
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:36,600
OK. I tell them.
98
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:38,637
And then come back.
99
00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:40,711
But you just say you want to sleep.
100
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:44,634
Can I help it if my tongue
don't know how my mind works?
101
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,314
J Fanfare
102
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:56,393
Legion! Legion, present arms!
103
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,677
(Bugle fanfare)
104
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:03,713
Was ist das?
105
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:04,949
Capitaine Le Pice!
106
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:06,997
Oui! Oui!
107
00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:10,750
- Hello! Did anybody call?
- Capitaine Le Pice!
108
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:12,911
- Kommandant Burger!
- Look!
109
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,354
LE PICE: Spring flowers.
110
00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:17,080
- Spring flowers?!
- Early bloomers!
111
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:18,639
This is no joke!
112
00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:20,677
Pull those bloomers down!
113
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:22,319
Pull them down!
114
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,357
Herr Kommandant, not so loud!
115
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:27,353
Anyone listening outside the fort
will wonder what's going on.
116
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,353
I don't care about those pigs! Pull them down!
117
00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:32,397
I want to get to the bottom of this!
118
00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:33,709
Capitaine Le Pice,
119
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:39,193
the man who is responsible for this
will be buried in the sand up to here, headfirst.
120
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:40,236
Find out who he is.
121
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,231
- But how?
- How? Use your brains!
122
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:46,075
Search the lockers.
Find out which one wears underwear like this.
123
00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:49,676
Oh, Herr Kommandant,
no legionnaire would wear anything like these.
124
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,400
How do you know?
We get all sorts in the Legion.
125
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:54,756
And it's our custom not to ask questions.
126
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:58,276
- Perhaps it's time we started.
- Oh, Herr Kommandant! Look!
127
00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:00,510
There is a message written on the back.
128
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,672
Well, it can't be a message from the front!
(Chuckles)
129
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,673
What is...? "Death to all Legion infidels.
130
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:10,958
Your time is nigh. The flaming sword is spoken."
131
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:12,997
What is that? What flaming sword?
132
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:17,870
Herr Kommandant, it is an emblem
of the leader of the Riffs, Sheikh Abdul Abulbul.
133
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:19,553
They have got my message.
134
00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:21,631
(Officers shout over each other)
135
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:25,076
Let us give them a taste of what is soon to come.
136
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,639
BURGER ! if's a disgrace!
137
00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:28,870
- Lintend to get to the bottom of ..
{(Gunshots)
138
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,598
Attack! Attack!
139
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:32,637
(Bugle fanfare)
140
00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:36,077
See how the mice run.
141
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,950
But the time is not yet.
142
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:44,193
- We will go.
- Effendi, look what comes.
143
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,996
Ah, this appears to be the place, sir.
144
00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,469
Oh, well, help me down, will you, Simpson?
145
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,513
Ho! Camel, bo-bo.
146
00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,557
(Camel bellows)
147
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:08,320
Ha-hal Ha-ha! I've got it!
148
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,357
Oooh! Oh!
149
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:13,114
Oh, sirl Keep still, sir!
150
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,789
It has been truly said.
151
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:20,235
The mind of the white infidel
152
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,596
is like the action of the cleanser.
153
00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:24,478
Clean round the bend!
154
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:26,517
SIMPSON: This way, Sir.
155
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:36,553
Ah, well, Simpson, the...the time has come
to say goodbye, old friend.
156
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,077
No, sir, I can't do it.
157
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:43,994
I can't leave you here like this!
I'm going to join the Foreign Legion, too!
158
00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:46,469
Oh, Simpson.
159
00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:49,517
Simmy!
160
00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:52,797
Not in front of the natives, sir.
161
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,837
- Oh.
- Sorry, sir.
162
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,877
Shall ll er...? Shall I knock now?
163
00:10:56,960 --> 00:11:00,032
- Please do that, Simpson.
- Excuse me, sir.
164
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,919
Kommandant,
I think there is someone knocking at the gate.
165
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,072
The nerve of the dogs!
Do they expect me to let them in?
166
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:08,800
Ah, perhaps that would be the wisest move.
167
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,440
- Never! Over your dead body!
- Ooh!
168
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:14,319
I've got something in store for them
they didn't bargain for.
169
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,630
Move out the cannon and load with grape!
170
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,872
And if you haven't got any grape,
load with some other fruit.
171
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,351
Come on, you men! Move out the cannons!
Get out your grapes!
172
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:28,799
- Perhaps they don't want our services, sir.
- Nonsense! They're always looking for recruits.
173
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,518
They'll welcome us with open arms.
174
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,830
Get out your grapes!
175
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:34,479
There, what did I tell you?
176
00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:37,033
Fire!
177
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,077
(Groans)
178
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,394
So, you came to join the Foreign Legion?
179
00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,437
Yes, we keep telling you that.
180
00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:52,319
Are you aware this place
has just been under heavy attack?
181
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,277
How do I know you are not one of them?
182
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:56,351
Oh, no, sir!
183
00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:59,956
Spies! Sent in here to learn our secrets.
184
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,997
Spies? How dare you, sir!
185
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,832
We are English gentlemen!
186
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,434
Don't talk to me about your English gentlemen's!
187
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:10,479
I have seen what you scribble on the walls
of your English gentlemen's!
188
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:14,679
Mr West has never so much as
raised a finger to a walll He's a man of honour!
189
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:18,833
If he is a man of so much honour,
why does he need to join the Foreign Legion?
190
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:21,878
...I can't tell you that.
191
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:26,670
Ah, so! Perhaps you lost your honour
on the playing fields of Eton.
192
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,149
That was not Mr West's fault.
193
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,595
- There was a gardener's daughter...
- Simpson!
194
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:33,637
So, good' You can enlist.
195
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,677
But be careful, you will be watched.
196
00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:38,639
At the first sign of any treachery,
the firing squad!
197
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,155
The firing squad? Oh, we'll enjoy that, sir!
198
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:44,312
- Mr West is an excellent shot.
- Le Pice! Take them away!
199
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,357
Oui, Kommandant Burger!
200
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:49,080
Recruits! Attention!
201
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:50,719
Right turn!
202
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:52,757
Quick march!
203
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,030
- After you, sir.
- No, that's all right.
204
00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:57,474
- Oh, I insist.
- No, Simpson.
205
00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:58,834
Get out!
206
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,672
(La Pice clears throat)
207
00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:03,870
- Le Pice!
- QOui, Herr Kommandant!
208
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:07,351
Turn them over to the colour sergeant.
He will make soldiers of them.
209
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:10,478
Oh, er...didn't you know, sir?
210
00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:13,074
Sergeant Nocker hasn't returned from patrol yet.
211
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:17,154
Not back yet? But it's been six days!
Was he by himself again?
212
00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:23,556
Ah, sugar date, hold it right here, sugar.
213
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,597
Sergeant, do you have to go back now?
214
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,638
Oh, come on, sugar date! I explained to you.
215
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,518
We had six wonderful days together.
216
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,830
Heaven. It was great. It really was swinging.
217
00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,355
But, baby, I belong here. I've got my work to do.
218
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:37,999
Come back now.
219
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:41,835
Honey, can't I explain to you?
I'm a sergeant. I'm an important man.
220
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:44,639
- How do you think I got these?
- How did you get them?
221
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:50,398
Well, if I was to tell you, you'd be even more
crazy about me than you are now.
222
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:53,313
You're a good girl. Thanks a lot, honey.
223
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,789
- Thanks for the lift.
- I have a good ass, no?
224
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,677
Give me a break, will you?
225
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,513
It's a vast country, I can't take care of all of 'em.
226
00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:10,791
Oh, well, back to the humdrum life.
227
00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,633
JINSTRUMENTAL:
When Johnny Comes Marching Home
228
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:32,877
(Weakly) Let me in!
229
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:35,076
Let me in, for pity's sakes!
230
00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:37,720
Herr Kommandant! Sergeant Nocker! He's back!
231
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:41,236
- Impossible!
- Mais oui, Herr Kommandant! He's at the gates!
232
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,033
Mein Gott!
233
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,470
Colour Sergeant Nocker reporting, sir.
234
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,200
Back from patrol. I... (Mumbles incoherently)
235
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:13,916
No, sir. Thank you, sir. I'll be all right.
236
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:18,358
After all, I've just been five days
without food or water, that's all.
237
00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,954
- Bring water, quickly!
- (Mumbles)
238
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:22,997
Did I say water? Thank you, sir.
239
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:25,230
I'll be all right. I must file my report.
240
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,277
- Drink, Sergeant.
- No, thank ...
241
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:31,120
Thank you, sir. Delicious, sir.
242
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:33,999
And now, Sergeant, if you feel strong enough,
your report.
243
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:37,630
Yes, sir. Well, last Saturday,
I got a tip-off there would be an attack
244
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:38,915
on Fort Zuassantneuf.
245
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:43,039
It cost me 20 francs, but I don't mind
if I don't get it back. It was worth it, sir.
246
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,270
Sergeant, you will get it back!
247
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,590
Oh, thank you, sir. You're a brick.
248
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:51,196
I thought I'd better get to the garrison
and warn them immediately, sir.
249
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:54,398
At Zuassantneuf?!
But that's over 200 kilometres away!
250
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:59,111
But what does that matter, sir,
with the lives of fellow legionnaires at stake, sir?
251
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,999
You went alone? What happened?
252
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,720
I was attacked by this murderous group of Riffs!
253
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,155
Ah, so you were surprised.
254
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,038
I mean, what chance did I have?
255
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:12,112
- One legionnaire against a hundred Riffs?
- A hundred?!
256
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,555
But you don't have to worry about them, sir.
257
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,631
Not with half their number dead.
258
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,075
I can hardly believe it!
259
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:22,596
I can hardly believe it myself.
I had to count them twice, sir.
260
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,991
Capitaine Le Pice,
this gallantry merits immediate recognition.
261
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:28,037
I will get the box, Herr Kommandant.
262
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,790
Sergeant Nocker, I salute your bravery.
263
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:34,633
You have acted in the highest traditions
of the Legion.
264
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:37,075
Oh, sir, you're embarrassing me
in front of the men.
265
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:42,757
Oh, sir, this isn't necessary.
I have enough medals.
266
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:45,309
It is a proud moment just to serve for you, sir.
267
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:47,710
I..I don't... Oh, there's a goody!
268
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,757
Yes, this one here. Mm!
269
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:52,070
Solid silver. Splendid. Thank you, sir.
270
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:57,876
(Horn beeps)
271
00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:02,750
- Jane, my dear, I still think you're wrong to go.
- Oh, Papa, I must! Don't you see?
272
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,354
It was mainly because of me that Bo left.
273
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:09,035
And it's my duty to find him and tell him
that his name has now been cleared.
274
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:11,589
Oh, very well, but please be careful, my dear.
275
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:16,151
You've led far too sheltered a life to know
what can possibly happen to a young woman
276
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:19,870
- travelling alone.
- I have a first-class seat reserved on the train.
277
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:23,237
Oh, I'm not bothered about your seat!
There'll be men!
278
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,880
What can men do to me?
279
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,679
Oh, far too sheltered a life.
280
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,717
Bye, my dear.
281
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:43,237
Oh, good morning, miss.
I just wanted to punch your ticket.
282
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,072
- Punch my ticket?
- That's right.
283
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:48,710
- Are you er... Are you travelling alone, miss?
- Well, yes. Why?
284
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,757
Oh.
285
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,195
Well, there's er...nothing to it, really.
286
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,194
What a funny way fo punch my ticket!
287
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:02,791
& Reveille
288
00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:08,475
Wake up, you dogs! Wake up!
289
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,949
Wake up, you... Wake up!
290
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:13,509
Come on, you sons of dogs!
291
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,557
Sleeping will stop now!
292
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,557
What are you doing? Hey, you, wake up!
293
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,234
- Good morning, sir.
- Oh, good morning, Simpson.
294
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:25,154
- It appears it's time to rise, sir.
- Oh, thank you very much. Where's the tea?
295
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,880
- There doesn't seem to be any served yet, sir.
- Oh.
296
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,236
Well, in that case, run my bath, would you?
297
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:33,631
I regret to inform you, sir,
that I've been unable to find a bath.
298
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,758
- No baths?
- No, sir. I'm given to understand that...
299
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:38,911
- Oh, dare I say it, sir?
- Please dare.
300
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,998
That one uses a horse trough outside, sir.
301
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,152
Oh, well, in that case, run my trough.
302
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,197
Thank you, Clotski.
303
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,237
(Yawns)
304
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,474
It's nice to be back. The simple comforts.
305
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:58,516
That was a rough patrol you had, Sergeant.
306
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:00,671
They don't come any rougher, Clotski.
307
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:04,754
Six days, six nights on the job...
takes a lot out of a man.
308
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:06,797
You bet. You bet.
309
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:08,951
You know, Sergeant, it's incredible.
310
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:13,352
You do all that walking,
and not a grain of sand in your boots.
311
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:17,434
Yeah, when I do what I do,
I do it with my boots off.
312
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:20,677
(Cheering and wolf-whistling)
313
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,917
(Laughter)
314
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,231
Ah, it's good to be back!
315
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:33,472
Look out on the old parade grounds and see...
316
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,797
What the hell is that?
317
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,190
! must be seeing things!
318
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,590
They're the two new ones. Came in yesterday.
319
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,830
What do they think this is? A health spa?
320
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,309
What are they? Newlyweds, or something?
321
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,631
They're English, Sergeant.
You know the English? They're half nuts.
322
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,473
By the time I'm finished with them,
they'll be whole nuts.
323
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,871
Boy, I'm looking forward to fraining those two.
324
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:59,919
I haven't had anything as good to work on
since that other limey was here.
325
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,957
- What was his name?
- Beau Legs.
326
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:03,951
Ah! That's the one.
327
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:06,031
OK; get 'em on parade ground, Corporal.
328
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:10,829
- What have you got in mind, Sergeant?
- Get 'em on parade ground at the double!
329
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,877
CLOTSKI: Fools! Hurry up!
330
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:16,316
What do you think this is? A picnic?
You lousy dogs! Damn you!
331
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,437
You're soldiers, do you understand?
332
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:22,434
Come along! Come along!
All right, now. Properly at ease,
333
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,557
you lousy pigs!
334
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:29,478
- All present, Corporal?
- Except for the two new ones.
335
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:33,235
- Leave them to me, Sergeant.
- Fall in. I'll handle this one myself.
336
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,880
Maybe /'ff get a chance to bathe the baby.
337
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,431
CLOTSKI: Get up! Get up, every one of you!
338
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:44,310
Now, then, properly at ease, you lousy pigs!
Quick march!
339
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,277
Move, you dogs! Come on! Quick!
340
00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:49,830
All right, what's going on here?
Ain't he old enough to dress himself?
341
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,560
A gentleman never dresses himself.
342
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:55,029
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
343
00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:57,396
You see, I'm so terribly ignorant of these facts.
344
00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:01,519
That's perfectly all right, old chap. You'll learn.
Something we can do for you?
345
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,557
Yes. Er...
346
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:07,918
I wonder if you'd care to join us
for a teensy-weensy parade?
347
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,391
You see, the Kommandant will be there.
Oh, it'll be such fun!
348
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,916
That's very decent of you, Sergeant.
Thank you very much indeed.
349
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,513
We'd both be delighted.
350
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,910
Oh, bully, bully, bully!
351
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:23,312
Just as soon as we've breakfasted.
Oh, by the way, where is the restaurant?
352
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,836
Oh...I'm terribly sorry,
I'm afraid there is no restaurant.
353
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,116
- But I'll tell you what there is.
- Oh? What?
354
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:32,795
We have a pit where we bury you
up to your neck in sand,
355
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:36,589
- for days and days.
- Oh? What for?
356
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,150
For talking back at your sergeant!
For not being ready for parade!
357
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:43,039
And for acting like motherless, fatherless jerks!
358
00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:45,111
Now, you get with it!
359
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,271
Get dressed, and be out there in five seconds!
360
00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:49,556
(Yells) Get on parade now! On the double!
361
00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:54,317
{Knock at door)
- Come!
362
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,759
- Ready for inspection, sir.
- Thank you, Sergeant.
363
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,150
In future, I want the garrison kept on standby.
364
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:03,550
All leave is cancelled, and double the guards.
365
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,199
You got it!
366
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,277
Double the guards? What for, sir?
367
00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:11,159
I am expecting trouble. Have you seen these?
368
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,710
- Whoa! Would you like to have them filled, sir?
- Sergeant!
369
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:18,714
...mean, any woman wearing these
could cause plenty of trouble around the fort.
370
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:22,316
Don't you worry, sir, I'll track her down.
She won't lay a glove on you.
371
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:25,074
I did not get them from a woman, Sergeant.
372
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:27,754
Then from who, sir? I...
373
00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:31,236
Hello!
374
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:32,196
Hello.
375
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:35,113
They were raised on the flagpole
yesterday morning.
376
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,111
There's a message on them. Look.
377
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,669
A message? I didn't see... Oh! Abdul Abulbul.
378
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,195
(Chuckles) I wouldn't worry about him, sir.
379
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:45,238
Don't give it a second thought.
After all, he has twelve wives.
380
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,118
What time has he got left for fighting?
381
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,271
There's an old Arab saying, Sergeant.
382
00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:51,317
"The more a camel has to drink,
383
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,914
the more he will want to make stops."
384
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,789
That's a goody! Did you hear the one
about the butler and the upstairs maid?
385
00:22:58,880 --> 00:22:59,836
Sergeant!
386
00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:03,515
I want you to bear that in mind.
I am now ready to inspect your men.
387
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:05,557
Sirl
388
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,599
Present...arms!
389
00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:21,078
Yes.
390
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,117
Straighten the jacket.
391
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:26,117
Yes, good.
392
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,237
Very good. Mm, very...
393
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,277
Huh? Was ist das?
394
00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:33,317
A joke?
395
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:35,357
Oh, I forgot I had it on my head, sir.
396
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,353
- Deal with this man, Sergeant!
- Yes, sir, it'll be a pleasure.
397
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:40,716
Oh, it's the hat! Oh, don't blame him, sir.
398
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:43,997
- He was so busy helping me, that he...
- Silencel
399
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,557
Argh! Argh! Argh!
400
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:49,109
Ow! Oh! (Screams)
401
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,191
(Ship's whistle)
402
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,237
{Knock at door)
- Entrez!
403
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:57,950
- Bonjour, mademoiselle. Welcome aboard.
- Oh, merci, I'm sure.
404
00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:01,795
It is possible, mademoiselle,
that it will be rough in the Channel.
405
00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:04,315
- I must check your porthole.
- By all means.
406
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:10,157
Mademoiselle is travelling alone?
407
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,834
- Yes. Why?
- Uh-huh!
408
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:19,191
Oh! (Giggles)
What an odd way to check my porthole!
409
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,797
(Flies buzz)
410
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:27,677
(Continuous buzzing)
411
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,597
These damn flies!
412
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:38,071
I'm sorry, sir. It's all my fault.
413
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:41,357
Ah, well, Simpson,
only another five more days to go.
414
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,397
Yes, sir, but...
415
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:45,953
Sir?
416
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:47,838
Yes, Simpson, what is it?
417
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:51,151
Do you think they have worms
in the Sahara, sir?
418
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:52,435
I don't know. Why?
419
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:56,639
(Whimpers)
There's something crawling up my...sirl Help!
420
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:58,358
Now, steady on, Simpson.
421
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:00,590
Oh, I can't stand much more of this, sir!
422
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:04,514
Forgive me, sir, but with your permission,
I think I'll go mad.
423
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,672
- Oh, I've got the worms! The worms!
- Steady on, Simpson. Steady on.
424
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,798
There'll be plenty more of this.
That sergeant's got it in for us.
425
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:12,553
(Groans) Oh, I know, sir.
426
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:16,599
And just think, sir. He was the one
that told us where to come and enlist.
427
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,273
What do you mean?
428
00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:20,317
That's Sergeant Nocker, sir.
429
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:24,109
The one the woman in the café went to ask.
He was in the back room. Ooh!
430
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:28,910
And then, a little while later, he came in looking
awreck, and staggering about all over the place.
431
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,719
So would I, if I'd spent some time
with that woman, sir.
432
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:35,077
But he told the Kommandant
he'd just come back from patrol.
433
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,117
And he got decorated for bravery!
434
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:40,877
(Chuckles)
435
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,109
Enjoying yourselves, gentlemen?
436
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,918
We're just beginning to, Sergeant.
437
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:49,957
Well, I'm glad to hear that.
438
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:51,997
Because when I get you out of here,
439
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:55,232
I'll make your lives so miserable,
you'll be glad to get back in!
440
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,277
Oh, I don't think so, Sergeant.
441
00:25:57,360 --> 00:26:01,558
Not a brave man like you,
who can go out on patrol and kill 50 Riffs
442
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,438
- single-handed.
- 531
443
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,477
Oh, I beg your pardon.
444
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:07,517
You see what I mean, Simpson?
445
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,160
It wasn't Sergeant Nocker in the café
with that woman.
446
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:12,550
But it was, sir. I saw him through the curtain.
447
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:15,678
Nonsense. You must be imagining things.
448
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:18,593
When we get out of here,
we'll go and ask the Kommandant.
449
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:20,910
- He should know.
- Hey, wait a minute.
450
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,469
Were you the two guys in the café
yesterday morning?
451
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:25,471
So, it was you in there, Sergeant.
452
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,517
Clotski!
453
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:30,517
- Sergeant!
- Corporal Clotski,
454
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:32,557
what are these fine men doing down there?
455
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:35,393
But, Sergeant,
you told me to put them in the hot box.
456
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:40,156
{ told you? { would waste the talent
of these two intelligent, hard-working,
457
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,072
conscientious soldiers in this manner?
458
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:43,673
You must be out of your mind!
459
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:46,832
- But, Sergeant, you...
- (Yells) Don't but me!
460
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:50,754
- But, Sergeant...
- Dig these gentlemen out of here on the double!
461
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:51,796
Yes, Sergeant!
462
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:55,157
Don't worry, fellas, it's all been a mistake.
Have a cigar.
463
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,595
I have a feeling we're gonna be real buddies.
464
00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:01,913
Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right!
(Barks incoherently)
465
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,957
Work itl Work it! Move it! Move it!
466
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:05,997
Get those legs up! Move it! Move it!
467
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:09,391
(Shouts gibberish)
Aitchal Aitchal Aitchal
468
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:12,040
How you doing, fellas? Everything all right?
469
00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:14,077
En garde!
470
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:17,237
Charge!
471
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:22,153
Argh!
472
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,277
I'm so sorry, Sergeant.
473
00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:29,638
That's all right.
Anybody can make a little mistake...buddy.
474
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:35,037
Wakey-wakey, Simmy!
475
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:43,789
- Tea's up.
- Thank you very much indeed, Sergeant.
476
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,838
Oh, no bother. I wonder
if you would make parade this morning?
477
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:50,072
It's Kommandant's inspection.
It shouldn't take long, you know.
478
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:52,436
Yes, I...I think we could make it.
479
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:56,354
Oh, that's what I admire - keenness.
However, no hurry.
480
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:58,351
Whenever you're ready... buddy.
481
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,755
Come along, you guys. Hold it! Right there.
482
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,593
Right there. Now, shut your eyes.
483
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,718
Come on! Shut your eyes!
This is going to be a surprise.
484
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:09,757
You're not shutting your eyes.
485
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:12,518
OK, open 'em!
486
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:14,079
Surprise!
487
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,390
Oh, Sergeant, we...we don't know what to say.
488
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:19,915
Ah, just a small token of my esteem, buddies.
489
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,957
But.. but where did you get it from?
490
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,714
Oh...never mind, just don't tell anybody.
491
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:26,359
Le Pice!
492
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:28,397
- Le Pice!
- QOui, Herr Kommandant!
493
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,233
- Where's my bathtub gone?
- Your bathtub?
494
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,277
{Knock at door)
- Entrez!
495
00:28:35,120 --> 00:28:38,192
Welcome to the Kaifer Hotel, Algeria,
mademoiselle.
496
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:40,556
- I am the manager.
- How nice.
497
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:45,635
I just wanted to see whether
your accommodation is er...satisfactory.
498
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,916
Well, yes. Yes, I'm sure.
499
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:49,673
Mademoiselle travels alone?
500
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:51,716
Yes.
501
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:07,590
Ooh! What an extraordinary way
fo see if my accommodation's satisfactory.
502
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:09,878
J Exotic music
503
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:08,272
You can't beat it.
There's nothing like an old-fashioned waltz.
504
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:34,395
You not say hello to me tonight, my sergeant.
505
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:37,632
Hello. Do you mind, honey? I can't see.
Would you get out of the way?
506
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:42,356
And you!
507
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,557
{Music stops)
508
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:54,397
Hello, baby. How about giving us
the dance of the two veils?
509
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,437
You mean seven velils.
510
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:58,750
Why bother with the preliminaries, huh?
511
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:00,797
(Laughs raucously)
512
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:02,837
Hey, did you see that?
513
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:04,399
She's crazy about me.
514
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:10,351
She's very beautiful. But why was she wearing
that ruby in her... Well, in here?
515
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:12,839
That's to keep the draught out.
516
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:16,595
I don't know if you happened to notice, sir,
but.. these things...
517
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:18,717
Yes, Simpson, I did happen to notice.
518
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:21,792
Well, we had some casserole dishes
just like that at home, sir.
519
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,032
Oh, yes, that's right.
We used to put our dumplings in them.
520
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,509
They use them for the same reason here.
521
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:29,159
I'd like to meet her.
522
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:33,199
What, that dancer, sir?
Oh, I don't think that would be advisable, sir.
523
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:34,600
Why ever not?
524
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:39,197
Simmy's right. You'd never catch me
getting mixed up with a woman of that sort.
525
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:43,956
Hello, there! Well, why don't you
take off your clothes and pull up a chair?
526
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:50,277
- Zank you.
- No, no. Zank you!
527
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:53,830
Now, who told you I was the only one
around here worth bothering with?
528
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:56,560
- Oh, nobody.
- Oh, just psychic, eh?
529
00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:00,200
May I say how very much I enjoyed
your dancing?
530
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:02,237
Thank you, you are most kind.
531
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:06,200
- We haven't seen you here before.
- No, I have just come from Egypt.
532
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,237
Ah, Egypt. Land of mystery.
533
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:10,755
Home of the mighty fairies.
534
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:13,593
- You mean pharaohs.
- I know what I mean.
535
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:16,672
You are so very pretty.
536
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:19,957
- Oh, please.
- Oh, no, no, it is true.
537
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:21,997
What is your name?
538
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,238
(Whispers) West, sir.
539
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:28,551
West. Bertram Oliphant West.
540
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,756
Ludicrous, ain't it? My name is...
541
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:32,831
Bertram Oliphant?
542
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,560
It's a riot, isn't it? You see, my name is...
543
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:38,314
But most of my best friends call me Bo.
544
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:41,392
- Bo?
- Yes, B-O.
545
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:42,800
You've got some nice friends.
546
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:47,192
- And what's your name?
- They call me Corktip.
547
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:49,191
Now, I bet you can't guess my name.
548
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:51,794
Oh, yes, I know your name.
549
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:55,430
How do you like that? It's even spread to Egypt.
It had to happen.
550
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:57,989
They call you the Big Stinker.
551
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,515
Ha-ha! That's what they call me!
Everybody know...
552
00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:01,954
What?
553
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:04,759
I hear Zigzig call you that just now.
554
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:06,672
NOCKER: How do you like that dame?
555
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:11,676
Well, she'll get no more favours out of me!
556
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:17,950
May I offer you some refreshment, Miss Corktip?
557
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,316
Oh, no, thank you. I must go work now.
558
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:24,155
- Oh, dancing again?
- No, I also tell fortune.
559
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:25,958
Really? How?
560
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:29,556
Oh, with the ball, or by the hand.
561
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:32,439
Or I feel your bumps.
562
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:35,234
(Laughs)
563
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:38,072
Who did that?
564
00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:39,719
- Itwas I.
- You sh...
565
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:43,680
And very well done, I must admit.
566
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,157
- Go, woman!
- Now, just a moment.
567
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,389
You will be the first to die.
568
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:54,437
Enough! Go!
569
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:56,477
Go, you dogs!
570
00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:59,477
A thousand apologies, gentlemen.
571
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:01,551
They're just ignorant fools.
572
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:06,032
Ah, it's a good thing you showed up.
Just about to lose my temper.
573
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,077
It will not happen again.
574
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:10,679
Peace be on you.
575
00:34:11,720 --> 00:34:14,234
And peace on you, too.
576
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:18,757
Fools! You would kill legionnaires here?
In front of everyone?
577
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:22,030
I have other plans for them.
578
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:25,112
(Bugle fanfare)
579
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:28,797
{Knock at door)
- Come!
580
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:34,831
Excuse me, Herr Kommandant,
there is a woman here for you.
581
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:36,957
A woman? But it's not Saturday, is it?
582
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:39,270
No, no, not that one, Herr Kommandant.
583
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:42,318
A white woman.
She asked to see the officer in charge.
584
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:44,755
- A white woman? Out here?
- And out there.
585
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:48,071
- Well, bring her in! Bring her in immediately!
- Qui, oui!
586
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:52,477
Lady Jane Ponsonby,
587
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:55,279
- Kommandant Burger.
- Jane!
588
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,510
Maximilian!
589
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:00,113
Oh, pardon!
590
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,716
- Oh, can it really be you?
- It's been such a long time.
591
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:07,509
Oh, years ago!
Vienna, when I was in finishing school.
592
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:10,831
And I was your fencing master,
and finished you off.
593
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:13,719
I was only 17.
I hardly knew what it was all about.
594
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:15,830
Fencing, I mean.
595
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:18,389
Oh, and such a beautiful child, you were!
596
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:21,120
With the pigtails, and the braces on your teeth.
597
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:23,510
And you had braces, too.
On your leather shorts.
598
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,592
- Ah, mein Liebchen!
- Maximilian!
599
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:30,389
Forgive me, but it's been so many years
since I've even seen a white woman!
600
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:33,836
Come now, there can't be
that much difference. Apart from the colour!
601
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:37,754
That's very true. There's an old Arab saying,
"The whiteness of the snow
602
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,992
is as the blackness of the coal hole
when there's no light."
603
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:43,037
What a lovely saying.
604
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:45,714
But not you.
You could never be the same.
605
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,872
It was because of you that I joined the Legion.
606
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:51,315
- Because of me?
- Yes.
607
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:55,598
That day you are coming to me
for the private lesson, and I did what I did to you.
608
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:57,591
Oh, I was so ashamed!
609
00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:01,639
- Oh, look, it was nothing.
- Hm, only a little scratch.
610
00:36:01,720 --> 00:36:04,599
But I have never touched a sword since.
611
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:06,637
Oh, poor Maximilian!
612
00:36:06,720 --> 00:36:10,031
No matter.
You have forgiven me and found me again.
613
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:13,476
Oh, Maximilian,
I didn't come here looking for you.
614
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:15,790
Not for me?
615
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:19,555
No, I really came to find
a very dear friend of mine. A Mr West.
616
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:22,314
- Bo West?
- This man, he is important to you?
617
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:24,960
Yes, I'd do absolutely anything to find him.
618
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:26,394
Anything?
619
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,039
Yes.
620
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:30,793
Tell me, are you travelling alone?
621
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:32,518
Yes.
622
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:36,594
- Very well. In that case...
- Oh, never mind, I'll do it.
623
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,477
BURGER: Ooh!
624
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:42,517
(Chattering)
625
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:48,275
I wish you to get them to come to your house.
626
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,677
My men will take care of them then.
627
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:54,717
I understand.
628
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,796
CORKTIP: All three of them?
629
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:04,235
No, just two of them.
630
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:08,750
He with the head like the dome
of the mosque of Omar.
631
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:13,714
And he with eyes like well holes in the sand.
632
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:17,794
It shall be done, O powerful one.
633
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:24,513
Hey! Corktip,
she wants to see you in the back room.
634
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:26,557
- Me?
- Yes, you! Don't ask me why!
635
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:29,557
I don't have to ask. I know.
636
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:34,111
Ow! They can only fight against it
for just so long, and then it's va-va-va-voom!
637
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,635
Well, chappies, don't wait up for me, what?
638
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:48,718
You can stop looking for it in there.
It's right here.
639
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:53,192
Sit down.
I would like to see what's in store for you.
640
00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:56,113
Hey, I'd like to see what's in store for me, myself!
641
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:58,430
No, you must not. Not here.
642
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:00,750
I tell your fortune. Sit.
643
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:05,676
Fine, but er...
never mind that, let's get to the bumps, huh?
644
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:08,320
You interest me, strangely.
645
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:11,631
I feel an...affinity between us.
646
00:38:11,720 --> 00:38:15,190
A destiny that guides our ends.
647
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:18,511
Fine, you take care of your end,
I'll take care of mine.
648
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,955
Ah, it is clearing now.
649
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:25,038
I see you meeting a dark woman
650
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,555
- somewhere else.
- Oh, er...
651
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:29,597
it wouldn't be you, would it?
652
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:31,398
It might be.
653
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:33,994
Yes, it is me.
654
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:36,997
Fine. When?
655
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:39,151
I see a clock.
656
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:42,396
It says...midnight?
657
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:45,359
Midnight it is. Where?
658
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:47,636
I see a house.
659
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:53,072
It is the tenth house in the Street of Many Fools.
660
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:55,720
Oh, 10 Downing Street.
661
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:57,552
I'll be there!
662
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:00,074
(Nocker hums tune)
663
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:05,513
- Well, what happened?
- Where? What do you mean? Oh! Oh.
664
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:09,195
Nothing at all.
She just told my fortune. Nothing to it.
665
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:12,238
Oh. Well, we'll soon see about that.
666
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:14,516
Sit down! Where do you think you're going?
667
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:16,796
- The sergeant's right, sir.
- Well, I like that!
668
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:19,030
Didn't you just tell me to find another woman?
669
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:21,191
Yes, sir. I mean a lady of breeding, sir.
670
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:23,510
A woman of that type's
only looking for one thing.
671
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:25,557
Good, I'll go and help her find it.
672
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:29,270
Oh, dear, oh, dear.
Sergeant, do you think he's going to be all right?
673
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:37,592
Good, you have come.
I was just going to send for you.
674
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:39,478
You were? Really?
675
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:42,871
Yes. You fascinate me, strangely.
676
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:45,839
Please, sit down.
677
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:50,639
Oh!
678
00:39:50,720 --> 00:39:54,953
You have a very interesting head.
679
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:56,997
Well? What does it tell you?
680
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:02,034
Well, this one here, this big bump,
681
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:08,150
this indicates that you are very romantic
and passionate.
682
00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:11,153
That's very funny.
That's where I was hit by a cricket ball.
683
00:40:11,240 --> 00:40:13,470
But you are passionate! I feel it here!
684
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:16,200
- (Whimpers)
- Is it not true?
685
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:20,433
Well, I...l did once breathe rather heavily
down my music teacher's neck.
686
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:25,117
She was showing me some five-finger exercises
and I lost my senses.
687
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:29,990
Is that all?
You mean you have never kissed a woman?
688
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:32,037
Oh...oh, yes.
689
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:35,795
- But never one wearing a veil.
- What difference does my veil make?
690
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:39,032
Well, it would be like sucking a toffee
with the paper on.
691
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:41,634
And if I were to take it off?
692
00:40:41,720 --> 00:40:43,677
Oh, yes.
693
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:47,993
It is well, but it is forbidden
for me to remove it in public.
694
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:53,637
Of course,
if you were to...come to my house later...
695
00:40:53,720 --> 00:40:58,157
- Yes?
- About ten minutes after midnight?
696
00:40:58,240 --> 00:40:59,799
Yes? Yes?
697
00:40:59,880 --> 00:41:06,593
There will be a whole toffee assortment
with no papers on.
698
00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:08,239
(Whimpers)
699
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:13,235
Must you go? This last hour has been
an experience I cannot forget.
700
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:15,709
Oh, yes, it's been fun,
but I really must see Bo now.
701
00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:19,111
Very well, he will be at the Café Zigazig.
I will take you there.
702
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:22,192
Oh, no! I must see him alonel
Surely you understand that.
703
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:24,510
Very well, mein Liebchen, but be careful.
704
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:27,274
It is not safe for a young woman
to go about alone.
705
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,990
Papa told me that before I left,
but nothing's happened to me yet.
706
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:33,754
- Nothing unpleasant, that is.
- Out here, it's different.
707
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:37,196
These hot-blooded Arabs,
once they get you amongst the sand dunes...
708
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:39,237
Oh, do tell me! What do they do?
709
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:41,755
I cannot tell you, but there's an old Arab saying,
710
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:45,390
"There's many a good fiddle
played on an old dune!"
711
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:47,710
(Laughs) On an old dune!
712
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:49,393
So, be careful, mein Liebchen.
713
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,520
OK, fellas, let's take the short cut.
714
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:25,757
Who is this woman?
715
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:31,438
- What woman?
- She of the skin the colour of camel tripes.
716
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:33,477
I do not know. Why?
717
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:35,676
I desire her.
718
00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:38,677
Bring her to me.
719
00:42:41,720 --> 00:42:44,473
(Laughs) Good night. I'm having a little shuteye.
720
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:46,517
- See you later. So long. Good night.
- Bye.
721
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:49,750
He doesn't seem to be here at the moment.
722
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:52,673
I'm sure you will find the one you are seeking.
723
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:59,597
In the meantime, perhaps you would care to
accept the hospitality of my humble dwelling?
724
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:02,798
Oh, how kind. Do you live near here?
725
00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:07,795
My encampment is at the Oasis El Nooki,
In the desert.
726
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:09,871
- Amongst the sand dunes?
- Naturally.
727
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:14,272
I thought as much. Thank you very much,
but I feel I ought to stay somewhere in town.
728
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:17,398
As you wish.
Perhaps you will change your mind.
729
00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:20,557
- You will have a drink?
- Thank you.
730
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:25,630
- What is it?
- We call it sherbet.
731
00:43:25,720 --> 00:43:27,279
Sherbet!
732
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:30,398
I haven't had any sherbet since I was a little girl!
733
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:32,949
It's...harmless, isn't it?
734
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:36,032
Of course, if drunk...quickly.
735
00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:45,591
It doesn't taste quite the same as I remember.
736
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:48,478
Delicious, though. Really!
737
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:55,836
Oh.
738
00:44:02,720 --> 00:44:04,199
(Hiccups)
739
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:10,239
Do you know,
I think I shall accept your offer of kind hospitality.
740
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:12,277
I am honoured.
741
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:15,197
We will leave immediately.
742
00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:17,237
Oh. Oh!
743
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:19,277
Whoops!
744
00:44:20,720 --> 00:44:23,872
(Chuckles) I'm travelling alone, you know.
Ha-ha!
745
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:05,630
Yoo-hoo! It's me! The desirable one!
746
00:45:05,720 --> 00:45:08,473
Enter, O desirable onel
747
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:13,874
I got something for you!
748
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:17,635
CORKTIP: am here, in the bedroom.
749
00:45:17,720 --> 00:45:19,677
Ha-how!
750
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:21,717
Who needs you?
751
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:23,837
This'll be a night to remember, baby.
752
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:26,230
By the time I'm through with you,
you won't know...
753
00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:27,913
(Clang)
754
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:31,237
(Slurs) ..what hit you.
755
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:04,670
Enter, O desirable onel
756
00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:23,196
- Hello!
- I am here, in the bedroom.
757
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:27,239
Oh, I...I do beg your pardon. I'll wait here.
758
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:30,679
(Whimpers)
759
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:33,274
No, no, you must come in here.
760
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:35,670
{ am in bed.
761
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:38,070
Oh, aren't you feeling well?
762
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:41,232
No, no, I am just cold.
763
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:44,119
I need to be warmed.
764
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:49,559
(Whimpers) Wo...would you like me to...
get you a hot-water bottle?
765
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:55,318
No! Do you not understand? I just want you.
766
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:57,357
- Ohl
(Clang)
767
00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:01,478
Well, if you don't mind me seeing you in bed.
768
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:05,557
(Giggles)
769
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,473
I say, it's...it's rather dark in here.
770
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:10,517
...Argh!
771
00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:15,597
(Crashing and thudding)
772
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:25,549
(Laughs) It's all right, Miss Corktip,
you can come out Now.
773
00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:29,234
Oh, no, you won't need that.
There's no more of them.
774
00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:33,154
It's those two chaps who were bothering you
in the café, earlier on this. .
775
00:47:33,240 --> 00:47:35,197
(Clang)
776
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:37,635
Luckily, I learned a bit of the old jujitsu.
777
00:47:37,720 --> 00:47:39,791
1. Oh, I say, I do beg your pardon.
778
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:41,837
You haven't got your topcoat on.
779
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:43,991
There, I'll.._I'll just turn my back.
780
00:47:52,240 --> 00:47:54,072
(Cock crows)
781
00:47:57,560 --> 00:47:59,153
(Explosion)
782
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:07,957
(Camel bellows)
783
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:38,317
Jezebel!
784
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:40,835
I'll never trust another woman as long as I live.
785
00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:45,949
Disgusting! If you did that in England,
you'd get fined £5.
786
00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:52,796
- Where are we, Sergeant? Do you know?
- Yes, this is the Oasis EI Nooki.
787
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:54,359
It's the only water hole
788
00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:56,397
within 200 miles.
789
00:48:56,480 --> 00:49:00,758
You have done well. You will be rewarded.
790
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:06,597
I want no other reward than to be favoured
with the loving attentions of my lord.
791
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:10,674
It shall be done. Wait in my tent.
792
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:16,509
I hope you had a pleasant journey, gentlemen.
793
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:20,434
No! We have been treated outrageously
and I demand to see the British Consul.
794
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:22,272
(Laughs raucously)
795
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:23,919
Did I say something funny?
796
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:26,753
I don't know, but keep going,
he might rupture something.
797
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:28,990
Quiet, you miserable camel droppings!
798
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:32,630
I beg your pardon?
You can't talk to a British subject like that!
799
00:49:32,720 --> 00:49:34,996
- Hey, take it easy, Bo. Take it easy!
- No, I won't!
800
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:37,230
I will not be humiliated in this manner!
801
00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:39,789
If you're going to kill us,
why don't you shoot us now?
802
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:42,759
That is an excellent idea.
803
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:44,194
You and your big mouth.
804
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:47,318
But first, I require some information.
805
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:49,755
Of course, anything you want to know,
just fire away.
806
00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:54,198
How many accursed legionnaires are there
at the outpost in Fort Zuassantneuf?
807
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:57,830
Let me see. How many legionnaires
at Fort Zuassantneuf? Er...
808
00:49:57,920 --> 00:50:01,436
- You're not going to tell him, are you?
- Why not? It's a harmless question.
809
00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:05,070
Well, of course it isn't!
He wants to find out so he can attack it.
810
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:06,719
Oh, come off it, Bo. Not him.
811
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:09,110
- Not this kindly old gentleman.
- Itis true!
812
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:15,196
The infidels will all perish
when the second crescent of the moon enters
813
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:17,078
- Orion's third phase.
- When is that?
814
00:50:17,160 --> 00:50:18,673
Tuesday.
815
00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:23,596
First, the legionnaires at Fort Zuassantneuf,
and then the infidels at Sidi-bel-Abbés.
816
00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:28,436
It has been ordained by the prophet,
Mustafa Leak.
817
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:30,238
Mustafa Leak!
818
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:32,197
Mustafa Leak!
819
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:38,274
Now, you will tell me. How many men?
820
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:41,591
You know, for the moment,
it seems to have slipped my mind.
821
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:44,991
If I could pop back to the barracks
and have a word with our Kommandant.
822
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:46,878
Don't trifle with me, accursed one!
823
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:51,716
Perhaps a little torture
will help you to remember.
824
00:50:51,800 --> 00:50:54,952
You have until nightfall to come to your senses.
825
00:50:56,040 --> 00:50:59,032
If not...they will come off.
826
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:02,475
One by one.
827
00:51:03,720 --> 00:51:07,236
One by one? I suppose he means our ears.
828
00:51:08,760 --> 00:51:11,434
That's my boy.
Always thinking of the higher things.
829
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:15,354
Look, chiefie, if you could just have a word
and talk this over sensibly
830
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:17,397
with this er.. Mustafa Leak.
831
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:20,120
ALL: Mustafa Leak!
832
00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:23,352
I don't know, it must be number one
on the hit parade.
833
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:27,717
Away with them!
834
00:51:38,720 --> 00:51:40,677
(Grunts)
835
00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:42,592
Argh!
836
00:51:55,560 --> 00:51:57,517
(Toilet flushes)
837
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:43,837
Good!
838
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:45,672
Now you.
839
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:05,559
Someone is coming.
840
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:10,117
Pow! Pow!
841
00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:19,637
- (Groans)
NOCKER: Good boy!
842
00:53:19,720 --> 00:53:21,279
NOCKER: Get his clothes.
843
00:53:26,920 --> 00:53:29,355
NOCKER: Come on, let's get out of here.
844
00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:31,033
If we could only get to those horses.
845
00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:47,838
How are ya? I lost a cuff link.
It must be around here some place.
846
00:53:47,920 --> 00:53:50,150
- I'm sure I could find it if I looked...
- Stop!
847
00:53:50,240 --> 00:53:53,710
- I think they've spotted us.
- You must be kidding.
848
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:55,074
Kill them!
849
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:57,117
Wait!
850
00:53:57,200 --> 00:53:58,918
Mustafa Leak.
851
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:01,389
ALL: Mustafa Leak!
852
00:54:01,480 --> 00:54:03,437
Run for it!
853
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:06,958
After them!
854
00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:08,997
Quick! In there!
855
00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:28,600
Man, you gotta hand it to these Arabs.
856
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:31,593
They got the craziest camping equipment.
857
00:54:31,680 --> 00:54:34,479
NOCKER: Allah is smiling down on me.
858
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:37,200
- I think we ought to leave.
- Why?
859
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:39,556
Well, they've hardly any clothes on.
860
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:41,313
That's a reason?!
861
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:44,791
Well, I'm going. I'd rather die out there
than in here with this lot.
862
00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:47,440
What are you, some kind of a nut?
863
00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:49,636
I have to remember the family name.
864
00:54:49,720 --> 00:54:51,677
- West, sir.
- Thank you, Simpson.
865
00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:56,118
WEST: They're just waiting out there.
866
00:54:56,200 --> 00:54:58,077
Let me see.
867
00:54:58,160 --> 00:54:59,719
WEST: Why don't they come and get us?
868
00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:01,757
Wait a minute!
869
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:04,757
This is the harem tent.
870
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:06,797
By their laws, no man may enter here.
871
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:08,837
- Only the eunuchs.
- What are they?
872
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:12,759
You'll never know how close you came
to finding out.
873
00:55:12,840 --> 00:55:15,036
Sergeant, do you mean that all these ladies
874
00:55:15,120 --> 00:55:17,760
- are the sheikh's wives?
- What's so terrible about that?
875
00:55:17,840 --> 00:55:19,797
Think, all those mothers-in-law!
876
00:55:19,880 --> 00:55:23,157
- Surely the sheikh himself is allowed in?
- No.
877
00:55:23,240 --> 00:55:25,197
Then what's the good in having them all?
878
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:28,557
It's like playing cricket with no bails.
There's nothing to knock off.
879
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:30,199
You don't understand.
880
00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:32,920
Whenever he feels like a game,
he sends for one.
881
00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:36,356
He don't travel. He just plays on his own ground.
882
00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:39,671
You mean that all the while we're in here, then,
we're safe.
883
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:44,072
That's right.
I'm afraid we're stuck in here. What a pity.
884
00:55:44,160 --> 00:55:47,039
And now, girls, how about
some of that Turkish delight?
885
00:55:47,120 --> 00:55:50,078
- (Women scream)
- Don't frighten them, Sergeant.
886
00:55:50,160 --> 00:55:55,030
I do apologise for the intrusion, ladies, but
I can assure you that we will do you no harm.
887
00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:58,033
Here, stop making promises I can't keep!
888
00:55:58,120 --> 00:56:01,238
What's all that noise? I'm trying to sleep.
889
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:04,915
I was having such a lovely dream,
890
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:08,789
full of fabulous men, all travelling alone!
891
00:56:08,880 --> 00:56:10,632
- Ha-ha-ha!
- Jane!
892
00:56:10,720 --> 00:56:13,519
- Is that you, Abdul?
- No, it's me, Bol
893
00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:15,671
Bo to you, too.
894
00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:19,435
Jane, what's the matter with you?
No, it's me. Bo West.
895
00:56:19,520 --> 00:56:21,477
That Bo?
896
00:56:21,560 --> 00:56:25,554
Oh, fancy seeing you herel
Oh. Oh, kiss me, Bol
897
00:56:25,640 --> 00:56:27,551
Jane, please!
898
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:29,278
You men in there!
899
00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:30,714
Hearken to me!
900
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:32,359
Quiet. Let's hearken.
901
00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:37,310
Come out of there, and I give you my word
I will spare your lives.
902
00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:42,554
If not, eventually, you will all die!
903
00:56:42,640 --> 00:56:45,234
Horribly.
904
00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:49,553
It's Abdul. He's a frightful dear.
Wants me to be his number 13.
905
00:56:49,640 --> 00:56:51,472
- Number 137
- Wife, you know.
906
00:56:51,560 --> 00:56:52,880
We might as well surrender.
907
00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:56,840
Certainly not. I'm not leaving Jane here
to become part of a baker's dozen.
908
00:56:56,920 --> 00:57:00,879
Well, it's better than being dead, isn't it?
Besides, 13 ain't too bad.
909
00:57:00,960 --> 00:57:02,439
She'll have 12 days off.
910
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:04,875
No! No, we've got to get help.
911
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:08,840
- One of you will have to get away.
- Not me, sir. My place is by your side.
912
00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:11,196
Thank you, Simpson.
It's up to you, Sergeant.
913
00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:13,749
- Thanks a lot. What do I do?
- I've been thinking.
914
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:16,275
We'll go out, and you creep under the flap
and run.
915
00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:19,637
- Well, how do I do that?
- Grab a horse and stampede the rest.
916
00:57:19,720 --> 00:57:22,234
Sire! I... What am I saluting you for?
917
00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:28,640
All this grass, no time left to graze.
918
00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:32,350
ABDUL: Come out of that tent!
- It's all right, we're coming out!
919
00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:36,038
Bye-bye, Bo!
920
00:57:40,360 --> 00:57:42,317
Seize them!
921
00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:44,357
There are only two.
922
00:57:44,440 --> 00:57:47,080
Where is the other infidel?
923
00:57:47,160 --> 00:57:48,878
{ ook, Effendi!
924
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:51,553
Stop!
925
00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:55,556
Let him go.
926
00:57:57,240 --> 00:58:00,392
It worked!
Nocker, old boy, I think you've pulled it off.
927
00:58:00,480 --> 00:58:02,630
You'll be a real hero now. That's it.
928
00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:06,475
Real. Ho! Good boy, Nocker. You've done it.
929
00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:11,350
They'll write books about you. "Nocker of
the Foreign Legion." That's what they'll call you.
930
00:58:11,440 --> 00:58:14,080
I like that sound. Nocker of the Foreign Legion.
931
00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:15,878
Jolly good.
932
00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:17,519
Ah-ha!
933
00:58:17,600 --> 00:58:19,193
Aaah...!
934
00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:23,557
Did you ever have one of those days
when nothing seemed to go right?
935
00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:25,597
Aaah! Here! Here! Whoa!
936
00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:31,317
Here!
937
00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:33,913
(Cock crows)
938
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:35,798
{(Gunshots)
939
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:40,874
So, let me understand quite clearly
what you have told us, madame.
940
00:58:40,960 --> 00:58:43,600
You say that four nights ago
941
00:58:43,680 --> 00:58:47,674
Sergeant Nocker was in your café
with these other two legionnaires.
942
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:49,512
- Correct?
- That is right.
943
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:52,752
Then he go off with this woman. Corktip. (Spits)
944
00:58:52,840 --> 00:58:58,552
Ye...yes. And you further say
that he is still with this woman. Correct?
945
00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:02,190
Of course. Where else, the dirty pig? (Spits)
946
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:06,592
So, all the time he was supposedly
out on patrol alone,
947
00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:09,479
he was, in reality, staying with you.
948
00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:11,119
- Correct?
- That is right.
949
00:59:11,200 --> 00:59:15,512
I tell you, for years he has been with me.
And then this woman come along and... (Spits)
950
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:19,070
- Perhaps you would like to use this.
- No, thanks, I went before I came.
951
00:59:19,160 --> 00:59:23,233
Yes. Very well. Thank you for coming forward
with this information. You may go now.
952
00:59:23,320 --> 00:59:24,913
OK.
953
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:28,152
I like you. Why don't you come and see Zigzig
some time, eh?
954
00:59:28,240 --> 00:59:30,914
I think I've got all I want from you, madame,
thank you.
955
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:32,149
You think so?
956
00:59:32,240 --> 00:59:35,790
Well, perhaps there are a couple of points
I'd like to go over with you later.
957
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:37,757
Good. Soon, eh?
958
00:59:39,520 --> 00:59:41,477
Interesting, Le Pice!
959
00:59:41,560 --> 00:59:43,949
Very interesting. What is her name?
960
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:48,955
- Mon Kommandant, her name is Zigzig.
- Zigzig? Oh, that's a strange name.
961
00:59:49,040 --> 00:59:54,718
It is an old Arabic word for serving woman,
meaning, "She who handeth it out on a platter.”
962
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:59,158
Yes, and all the time she's been handing it out
on the platter to Sergeant Nocker!
963
00:59:59,240 --> 01:00:01,914
Oh, mein Gott!
What fools he has been making of us!
964
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:07,359
I know! All these stories about lone patrol
and killing hundreds of Riffs.
965
01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:09,397
And all the time, he and she were...
966
01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:12,632
Yes! And I've been giving him medals for it!
967
01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:15,792
Open up! It's me! Sergeant Nocker!
968
01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:17,837
Open up!
969
01:00:23,240 --> 01:00:25,880
Kommandant! Kommandant!
Sergeant Nocker's back!
970
01:00:25,960 --> 01:00:27,917
Quick, Le Pice!
971
01:00:32,320 --> 01:00:35,073
Sergeant Nocker reporting back from patrol, sir.
972
01:00:35,160 --> 01:00:38,915
And what, I wonder,
have you got to report this time, Sergeant?
973
01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:42,197
Bad news, sir. Fort Zuassantneuf,
it's going to be attacked.
974
01:00:42,280 --> 01:00:44,669
And how did you acquire that information?
975
01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:48,833
Yes, sir. Legionnaires West, Simpson and me
were taken prisoners by them.
976
01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:51,389
- After a stiff fight, of course.
- Of course.
977
01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:56,077
Yes, we were taken to the Oasis El Nooki,
but I managed, by sheer audacity,
978
01:00:56,160 --> 01:00:58,310
to escape and come back to warn you, sir.
979
01:00:58,400 --> 01:01:01,552
Four days on foot
across the burning hot sand, sir.
980
01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:04,314
Enough! This is unbelievable!
981
01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:06,630
Yes, it was quite a feat, sir.
982
01:01:06,720 --> 01:01:08,996
Well, you heard the Kommandant.
983
01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:10,639
Get the tray. Get the medals.
984
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:13,519
- Nein, nein, nein!
- One medal will be enough, sir.
985
01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:16,955
You will have no more medals from me,
Schweinhund!
986
01:01:17,040 --> 01:01:18,792
Schweinhund?
987
01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:21,713
You have made a fool of me for the last time!
988
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:24,872
Killing 53 tribesmen single-handed, eh?
989
01:01:24,960 --> 01:01:27,600
Rescuing legionnaires from certain death, eh?
990
01:01:27,680 --> 01:01:29,432
Lies, lies, lies!
991
01:01:29,520 --> 01:01:32,319
Sir, what are you doing?
I got those medals for bravery!
992
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:36,871
No, not for bravery, but for jiggery-pokery!
Take him away!
993
01:01:37,960 --> 01:01:39,633
What happened?
994
01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:41,552
What did I say?
995
01:01:41,640 --> 01:01:43,597
Herr Kommandant.
996
01:01:44,640 --> 01:01:47,678
About Sergeant Nocker, sir.
He's been there for three days, now.
997
01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:49,717
He has decided to tell the truth?
998
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:53,430
I'm afraid not, sir.
He still keeps insisting on some ridiculous story
999
01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:57,150
about West and Simpson
and an English woman being held prisoner.
1000
01:01:57,240 --> 01:01:59,197
You did not tell me this before!
1001
01:01:59,280 --> 01:02:02,113
An English woman, you say? Not...not...
1002
01:02:02,200 --> 01:02:04,476
- Lady Jane!
- I believe that was her name, sir.
1003
01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:07,234
Capitaine Le Pice, turn out the entire company!
1004
01:02:07,320 --> 01:02:09,834
- Oui, oui, mon Kommandant!
- Full packs, arms,
1005
01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:11,115
- ammunition!
- Qui, oui!
1006
01:02:11,200 --> 01:02:12,998
And release Sergeant Nocker!
1007
01:02:13,080 --> 01:02:15,959
- Qui, oui!
- Well, stop oui oui-ing and get on with it!
1008
01:02:18,560 --> 01:02:20,517
Legion, left turn!
1009
01:02:22,960 --> 01:02:24,917
Legion, forward!
1010
01:02:42,600 --> 01:02:44,557
Oon! On!
1011
01:02:44,640 --> 01:02:47,200
Faster! Faster!
1012
01:02:50,720 --> 01:02:54,156
No stopping! On your feet, you scum!
On! On!
1013
01:03:04,400 --> 01:03:05,993
Look!
1014
01:03:06,080 --> 01:03:07,912
The oasis!
1015
01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:09,957
(Excited shouting)
1016
01:03:14,600 --> 01:03:16,876
What's happened? Where's everyone gone?
1017
01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:18,917
Where's Lady Jane? Where is she?
1018
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:22,311
I warned you, if you have brought us here
on a wild-goose's chase...
1019
01:03:22,400 --> 01:03:25,870
- Sir, I gave you my word. They were here.
- Kommandant! Look!
1020
01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:28,349
NOCKER: Vultures!
1021
01:03:28,440 --> 01:03:31,080
- Vultures?! You don't think...?
- Oh, I don't like this.
1022
01:03:31,160 --> 01:03:35,677
- They've got a bone to pick with someone.
- Nein, nein! Not mein Liebchen Jane!
1023
01:03:42,720 --> 01:03:44,677
Halt!
1024
01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:47,639
- Look, sir!
- {(Gasps)
1025
01:03:54,960 --> 01:03:59,033
- Its all right. He's still breathing.
- I don't care! Where is mein Liebchen?
1026
01:03:59,120 --> 01:04:04,911
- Oh! Alas, poor Jane, I knew her well.
- Aw, come on, sir, that's a skull of a man.
1027
01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:07,037
- How can you tell?
- By the jawbone.
1028
01:04:07,120 --> 01:04:10,272
A woman's gets worn down
from the constant ya-ta-ta ya-ta-ta.
1029
01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:12,351
- Then what's happened to her?
- Mother!
1030
01:04:12,440 --> 01:04:15,592
- Mothe...? Mothe...? It's me, Bo! Nocker!
1031
01:04:15,680 --> 01:04:18,911
Poor devil, he's half out of his mind.
He's been under this sun for a week.
1032
01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:22,880
Yes, but I think he's trying to tell us something.
Yes, West, what is it?
1033
01:04:22,960 --> 01:04:25,679
(Weakly) Turn...me over.
1034
01:04:26,760 --> 01:04:28,159
I want to do my back.
1035
01:04:28,240 --> 01:04:32,677
Argh! She might be being murdered,
and all he can think of is getting an even tan!
1036
01:04:32,760 --> 01:04:35,912
Oh, don't pay any attention to him, sir.
He's delirious.
1037
01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:38,560
Boy, where is she? Where is Lady Jane?
1038
01:04:38,640 --> 01:04:43,555
(Weakly) Took her. Took her with them
to raid Fort Zuassantneuf.
1039
01:04:43,640 --> 01:04:46,678
Ah, then we are not too late!
Look after him, Sergeant.
1040
01:04:46,760 --> 01:04:48,956
OK, sir. Take it easy, you'll be all right.
1041
01:04:49,040 --> 01:04:51,680
We leave at once for Fort Zuassantneufl Fall in!
1042
01:04:51,760 --> 01:04:55,196
Oh, Herr Kommandant, it is many miles away.
There is no water left!
1043
01:04:55,280 --> 01:04:59,035
Fool! We can fill our water bottles at the oasis!
Come on! Jump to it!
1044
01:05:08,520 --> 01:05:11,160
NOCKER: Those fiendish devils!
1045
01:05:16,560 --> 01:05:20,076
Now you see why I let the sergeant go.
1046
01:05:21,280 --> 01:05:23,430
He will lead them straight into my trap.
1047
01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:25,477
(Chuckles)
1048
01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:28,279
- Do we attack them now, Effendi?
- No, no.
1049
01:05:28,360 --> 01:05:30,317
We wait two or three days.
1050
01:05:31,440 --> 01:05:35,229
Without water, they will be weaker then.
1051
01:05:49,040 --> 01:05:51,919
I did not say halt! March, you swines! March!
1052
01:05:54,640 --> 01:05:59,714
Sir, the men have been marching for two days
without a rest. They must have a break, sir.
1053
01:05:59,800 --> 01:06:01,757
Very well. One hour. That's all!
1054
01:06:01,840 --> 01:06:04,070
Thank you, sir, you're all heart.
1055
01:06:06,080 --> 01:06:08,037
All right, good news, you monkeys.
1056
01:06:08,120 --> 01:06:10,077
Fall out for one hour.
1057
01:06:10,160 --> 01:06:12,959
- One hour.
- One hour's rest, sarge.
1058
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:17,833
Sir, I'm rather worried about morale.
1059
01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:21,914
If we don't get water soon,
you'll have trouble from the men.
1060
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:24,037
You are the adjutant, Capitaine Le Pice.
1061
01:06:24,120 --> 01:06:29,069
It is your job to keep their minds occupied
so they forget about their thirst.
1062
01:06:29,160 --> 01:06:32,198
As a matter of fact,
I did have rather a good idea.
1063
01:06:32,280 --> 01:06:35,079
Then act on it, Le Pice. Act on it!
1064
01:06:35,160 --> 01:06:37,117
(Chuckles) I'd love to!
1065
01:06:37,200 --> 01:06:39,919
Gott im Himmel! Dummkopf!
1066
01:06:46,200 --> 01:06:48,350
They have stopped, Effendi.
1067
01:06:48,440 --> 01:06:50,317
But what is it they are doing?
1068
01:06:51,440 --> 01:06:53,875
Kommandant Burger, we're all ready for you.
1069
01:06:53,960 --> 01:06:55,917
- And you'll be amazed.
- Good.
1070
01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:58,673
Strange.
1071
01:06:58,760 --> 01:07:03,470
I think the time has come to attack.
Tell my warriors to make ready.
1072
01:07:03,560 --> 01:07:05,517
Fun, ain't it, sir?
1073
01:07:05,600 --> 01:07:07,876
- (Chuckles)
- It's lovely weather, huh?
1074
01:07:09,880 --> 01:07:13,714
Yes, they are good, these castles.
They are all so very good, I think.
1075
01:07:13,800 --> 01:07:16,155
Mm, yes, this one, too.
1076
01:07:16,240 --> 01:07:18,470
But I think this one.
1077
01:07:19,960 --> 01:07:22,315
This one is the best. First prize, Clotski.
1078
01:07:22,400 --> 01:07:24,357
What?! Mine's better than his!
1079
01:07:24,440 --> 01:07:26,397
Oh, you think so, huh?
1080
01:07:26,480 --> 01:07:28,153
Yeah!
1081
01:07:34,600 --> 01:07:36,557
Stop it! Stop it! It's only a game!
1082
01:07:36,640 --> 01:07:39,792
- Stop I, I tell you! Argh! Oh! Ohl
NOCKER: Come on, you two.
1083
01:07:39,880 --> 01:07:41,314
Now, what I...
1084
01:07:41,400 --> 01:07:43,357
(Shouting)
1085
01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:45,397
Simpson, tread on his.
1086
01:07:48,960 --> 01:07:50,997
Our men are ready to attack, Effendi.
1087
01:07:51,080 --> 01:07:54,550
Wait. I think the job is being done for us.
1088
01:07:54,640 --> 01:07:56,199
(Shouting)
1089
01:07:56,280 --> 01:07:58,556
We do not need to attack these fools.
1090
01:07:58,640 --> 01:08:00,597
Pass the word.
1091
01:08:00,680 --> 01:08:04,116
We march on Fort Zuassantneuf immediately.
1092
01:08:07,120 --> 01:08:08,679
The prophet has truly said.
1093
01:08:09,720 --> 01:08:14,669
The behaviour of the white infidels
is like blood coming from a stone.
1094
01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:17,631
Bleedin' mystery.
1095
01:08:22,560 --> 01:08:24,517
Oh, you beaver!
1096
01:08:29,080 --> 01:08:31,151
Sorry, sorry. All right. Take it easy.
1097
01:08:31,240 --> 01:08:33,993
Just relax. Oh, OK.
1098
01:08:35,200 --> 01:08:37,635
- (Gasps)
- All right, all right, all right.
1099
01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:45,753
- That's it, sir.
- How many casualties, Sergeant?
1100
01:08:45,840 --> 01:08:49,196
-16, sir.
-167!
1101
01:08:49,280 --> 01:08:52,398
It's disgraceful! Absolutely disgusting!
1102
01:08:52,480 --> 01:08:56,519
Oh, come on, sir. They're a good bunch of boys,
just letting off a bit of steam.
1103
01:08:56,600 --> 01:08:58,557
But 16 casualties!
1104
01:08:58,640 --> 01:09:01,519
You, Le Pice, with your bright ideas!
1105
01:09:01,600 --> 01:09:05,798
Well, you don't have to blame mel
Oh, you really can be a rotten Burger!
1106
01:09:05,880 --> 01:09:07,200
- Sergeant.
- Sirl
1107
01:09:07,280 --> 01:09:09,840
Sort out those fit enough
to march on Fort Zuassantneuf.
1108
01:09:09,920 --> 01:09:11,991
Sir, all that way without water?
1109
01:09:12,080 --> 01:09:16,153
We must go on. Not only to save Lady Jane,
but to relieve the garrison.
1110
01:09:16,240 --> 01:09:19,915
- But what about the captain, sir?
- You won't be taking Le Pice.
1111
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:21,718
I'm asking a serious question, sir.
1112
01:09:21,800 --> 01:09:23,473
What about the captain?
1113
01:09:23,560 --> 01:09:26,074
You fool!
I mean Le Pice will not be coming with us!
1114
01:09:26,160 --> 01:09:29,835
I am sending him back to Sidi-bel-Abbés.
He will fetch reinforcements.
1115
01:09:29,920 --> 01:09:31,240
- Le Pice!
- Yes, Kommandant!
1116
01:09:31,320 --> 01:09:33,880
- I wish to see the map!
- Yes, Herr Kommandant!
1117
01:09:35,600 --> 01:09:36,556
Ah!
1118
01:09:36,640 --> 01:09:38,392
Here is our objective.
1119
01:09:38,480 --> 01:09:41,518
Fort Zuassantneuf.
And here is our present position.
1120
01:09:43,360 --> 01:09:45,317
Left...turn!
1121
01:09:45,400 --> 01:09:47,357
For...ward!
1122
01:09:47,440 --> 01:09:49,397
Left, right, left, right,
1123
01:09:49,480 --> 01:09:51,756
left, right, left, right, left, right...
1124
01:09:53,400 --> 01:09:54,959
Sergeant!
1125
01:09:55,040 --> 01:09:56,599
Legionnaires, attention!
1126
01:09:56,680 --> 01:09:58,637
Forward march!
1127
01:09:58,720 --> 01:10:00,677
Hup!
1128
01:10:19,200 --> 01:10:22,318
Simpson, look! A well!
1129
01:10:22,400 --> 01:10:23,993
A welll
1130
01:10:24,080 --> 01:10:26,037
SIMPSON: Hurray!
1131
01:10:26,120 --> 01:10:27,793
Hurray, there's a...
1132
01:10:27,880 --> 01:10:29,837
Hey, hey, relax! Take it easy!
1133
01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:31,877
- Did you see?
- It was there!
1134
01:10:31,960 --> 01:10:34,634
Shut up! There's nothing there!
1135
01:10:34,720 --> 01:10:36,279
There was, Sergeant! It's a well!
1136
01:10:36,360 --> 01:10:39,512
Mr Bo's right, Sergeant! There was a well!
1137
01:10:39,600 --> 01:10:42,399
Of course there was a well.
And you're Jack, and you're Jill.
1138
01:10:42,480 --> 01:10:45,120
Wh-wh-where is it? Where did it go to?
1139
01:10:45,200 --> 01:10:47,953
Look, kid, it was never there. It's a mirage.
1140
01:10:48,040 --> 01:10:50,554
A mirage? I don't believe it.
1141
01:10:50,640 --> 01:10:54,315
You don't believe it. Well, I'll prove it to you.
You see this coin?
1142
01:10:54,400 --> 01:10:56,357
Coin, right? Coin.
1143
01:10:56,440 --> 01:10:58,511
I will now throw it down the well. Here.
1144
01:10:58,600 --> 01:11:00,557
- See?
(Splash)
1145
01:11:03,080 --> 01:11:05,959
Sergeant, you should have made a wish.
1146
01:11:06,040 --> 01:11:07,394
I wish you'd shut up!
1147
01:11:07,480 --> 01:11:09,073
What about the well?
1148
01:11:09,160 --> 01:11:11,629
- What about the well?
- (All shout at once)
1149
01:11:11,720 --> 01:11:14,553
Move it! Move it! Move!
1150
01:11:49,080 --> 01:11:51,037
Sirl (Laughs)
1151
01:11:51,120 --> 01:11:53,873
Look! Ah! I can't believe it!
1152
01:11:57,160 --> 01:11:59,117
Wa-hey!
1153
01:12:00,480 --> 01:12:02,437
Sim...
1154
01:12:02,520 --> 01:12:04,477
Simpson! There's nowa...
1155
01:12:05,520 --> 01:12:07,158
Where's the water?
1156
01:12:09,360 --> 01:12:12,352
Another mirage. It even had me fooled that time.
1157
01:12:30,080 --> 01:12:32,549
(Delirious chuckling)
1158
01:12:32,640 --> 01:12:34,119
Look at that!
1159
01:12:34,200 --> 01:12:39,639
Restaurant, bar, dancing.
Now that's what I call a mirage!
1160
01:12:39,720 --> 01:12:41,677
It has been seen many times before.
1161
01:12:41,760 --> 01:12:43,319
Come, we must go on!
1162
01:12:48,600 --> 01:12:52,958
I told you it was a mistake building right out here.
Nobody ever stops.
1163
01:13:10,960 --> 01:13:13,918
I cannot stand it no more! I've had enough!
1164
01:13:14,000 --> 01:13:17,391
I cannot stand it, I tell you! I cannot stand it!
1165
01:13:17,480 --> 01:13:21,189
- What's the matter, Clotski?
- I'm thirsty.
1166
01:13:21,280 --> 01:13:24,432
- I think he wants water.
- Don't look at me! What can I do about it?
1167
01:13:24,520 --> 01:13:26,079
I cannot make water!
1168
01:13:26,160 --> 01:13:28,117
- We're done for!
- Simpson!
1169
01:13:28,200 --> 01:13:31,397
No, sir, we'll never get out of here alive!
Look at the vultures!
1170
01:13:31,480 --> 01:13:33,915
SIMPSON: To hell with you!
To hell with all of you!
1171
01:13:34,000 --> 01:13:35,957
Go on! Do your worst!
1172
01:13:36,040 --> 01:13:38,156
Ooh! Blimey, one did!
1173
01:13:38,240 --> 01:13:41,676
Men! You must pull yourselves together!
1174
01:13:41,760 --> 01:13:43,717
There's plenty of water at the fort!
1175
01:13:43,800 --> 01:13:46,189
On! On! We must go on!
1176
01:13:46,280 --> 01:13:48,237
Ooh, sir, he does go on.
1177
01:13:50,800 --> 01:13:54,714
& Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside
1178
01:13:54,800 --> 01:13:58,555
& Oh, I do like to be beside the sea
1179
01:13:58,640 --> 01:14:02,554
& Oh, I do like to stroll
along the prom, prom, prom
1180
01:14:02,640 --> 01:14:06,599
& Where the brass band plays
tiddly-om-pom-pom
1181
01:14:06,680 --> 01:14:08,239
(Wind howls)
1182
01:14:08,320 --> 01:14:10,675
J.to be beside the seaside
1183
01:14:10,760 --> 01:14:14,276
& Oh, I do like to be beside the sea
1184
01:14:14,360 --> 01:14:16,510
Jd Oh, I do like to stroll...
1185
01:14:27,200 --> 01:14:29,840
Look! The fort!
1186
01:14:40,800 --> 01:14:42,757
Oh! Oh! Oh!
1187
01:14:44,160 --> 01:14:46,310
Get out of the way! Get out of the way!
1188
01:14:50,680 --> 01:14:52,637
BURGER: Do you mind?
1189
01:15:09,760 --> 01:15:12,195
I say, sir, are...are we too late?
1190
01:15:13,800 --> 01:15:15,916
& Arabic music
1191
01:15:21,040 --> 01:15:25,273
Well, I've heard this sort of music before.
It's for a wedding celebration.
1192
01:15:25,360 --> 01:15:29,035
- Oh, Is that all?
- Ja, it's when the chief is taking another wife.
1193
01:15:29,120 --> 01:15:31,953
Good luck to him. He's got twelve already!
1194
01:15:32,040 --> 01:15:33,997
And another wife...
1195
01:15:34,080 --> 01:15:36,037
Number thirteen? Lady Jane?
1196
01:15:36,120 --> 01:15:39,590
- Oh, no!
- Now, don't panic, sir. It may not be too late.
1197
01:15:39,680 --> 01:15:43,071
Er, Kommandant, sir,
is it a before or an after celebration?
1198
01:15:43,160 --> 01:15:46,869
Before.
It is to wish the chief an abundant harvest.
1199
01:15:46,960 --> 01:15:49,031
It's called The Song Of The Oats.
1200
01:15:49,120 --> 01:15:51,839
Oh, no! Let's hurry, before it's too late.
1201
01:15:56,760 --> 01:15:58,717
There she is!
1202
01:16:00,760 --> 01:16:06,233
There is still time. This music is to wish the chief
great virility and endurance.
1203
01:16:06,320 --> 01:16:11,394
The day of the morrow,
we march on Sidi-bel-Abbes!
1204
01:16:11,480 --> 01:16:13,118
(Cheering)
1205
01:16:13,200 --> 01:16:16,795
But the night of tonight,
1206
01:16:16,880 --> 01:16:19,759
to mark your gallant victory,
1207
01:16:20,880 --> 01:16:22,837
I, your chief,
1208
01:16:22,920 --> 01:16:27,232
will take another wife to bosom.
1209
01:16:27,320 --> 01:16:29,231
ALL: Aah!
1210
01:16:30,320 --> 01:16:32,118
Go to my tent.
1211
01:16:32,200 --> 01:16:36,558
The hour of your fulfilment approaches.
1212
01:16:36,640 --> 01:16:39,871
- Oh, look here, do I have to be fulfilled?
- Take her!
1213
01:16:39,960 --> 01:16:41,917
Oh! (Yelps)
1214
01:16:42,000 --> 01:16:43,957
(Laughter)
1215
01:16:45,000 --> 01:16:46,911
My people,
1216
01:16:47,000 --> 01:16:48,957
the time is nigh!
1217
01:16:49,040 --> 01:16:53,511
I wish mine was.
I could use a nigh old time right now.
1218
01:16:53,600 --> 01:16:57,480
Come, we will try and work our way round
and up under the back of her tent.
1219
01:16:57,560 --> 01:16:58,789
But she isn't wearing one.
1220
01:16:58,880 --> 01:17:00,837
SHEIKH ABULBUL. ..are all with us.
1221
01:17:00,920 --> 01:17:03,480
(Cheering)
1222
01:17:03,560 --> 01:17:05,153
But first,
1223
01:17:05,240 --> 01:17:08,358
in accordance with the custom of our tribe,
1224
01:17:09,600 --> 01:17:15,391
you will all give your gifts
to the glory of Abdul!
1225
01:17:15,480 --> 01:17:18,154
ALL: To the glory of Abdul!
1226
01:17:26,080 --> 01:17:28,037
To the glory of Abdul.
1227
01:17:30,680 --> 01:17:32,557
(Coins clink)
1228
01:17:32,640 --> 01:17:34,597
To the glory of Abdul.
1229
01:17:34,680 --> 01:17:37,194
Thank you.
1230
01:17:37,280 --> 01:17:38,759
(Whispers) Jane!
1231
01:17:39,840 --> 01:17:41,239
(Whispers) Bo!
1232
01:17:41,320 --> 01:17:43,277
Shh! Don't make a sound.
1233
01:17:43,360 --> 01:17:45,317
All right, come on.
1234
01:17:45,400 --> 01:17:47,914
Oh, Bo! Bo!
1235
01:17:49,440 --> 01:17:51,113
Dear, dear Jane!
1236
01:17:51,200 --> 01:17:53,237
- Are we...are we in time?
- For what?
1237
01:17:53,320 --> 01:17:55,277
Well, you know. Has he...? Have you?
1238
01:17:55,360 --> 01:17:57,397
Oh, no, he hasn't. But neither have .
1239
01:17:57,480 --> 01:17:59,517
- Mein Liebchen!
- Maximilian!
1240
01:17:59,600 --> 01:18:01,557
Mein Liebchen!
1241
01:18:01,640 --> 01:18:06,919
Do not worry, Max is here.
I will take you to the fort. You will be safe there.
1242
01:18:07,000 --> 01:18:08,877
I wouldn't like to bet on that.
1243
01:18:08,960 --> 01:18:12,271
If you'll pardon me, sir,
it's time / got Lady Jane out of here.
1244
01:18:12,360 --> 01:18:14,431
He's right, go ahead. I'll keep watch.
1245
01:18:18,480 --> 01:18:20,710
NOCKER: Look out! Somebody's coming!
1246
01:18:32,000 --> 01:18:34,514
To the glory of Abdul.
1247
01:18:34,600 --> 01:18:36,273
Thank you very much, I'm sure.
1248
01:18:37,960 --> 01:18:39,917
All right, what was all that about?
1249
01:18:40,000 --> 01:18:43,516
- They keep bringing money for him.
- For him? You mean he gets paid for it?
1250
01:18:43,600 --> 01:18:45,557
Boy, I'm in the wrong racket!
1251
01:18:45,640 --> 01:18:47,950
This is not good. If they keep coming in and out,
1252
01:18:48,040 --> 01:18:50,839
one of them will see Lady Jane is missing
and raise the alarm.
1253
01:18:50,920 --> 01:18:54,151
That's right, we need ten minutes
to get her safely back to the fort.
1254
01:18:54,240 --> 01:18:57,835
Hey, maybe one of us could take her place.
- That's a good idea, Sergeant.
1255
01:18:57,920 --> 01:19:01,629
- Somebody small.
- Exactly, Sergeant.
1256
01:19:01,720 --> 01:19:04,189
Like you.
1257
01:19:05,280 --> 01:19:07,920
Um...maybe it's not such a good idea, after all.
1258
01:19:08,000 --> 01:19:10,674
But it is, Simpson.
It's an absolutely splendid one.
1259
01:19:10,760 --> 01:19:13,957
Quickly, mein Liebchen, go behind the screen
and change the clothes.
1260
01:19:14,040 --> 01:19:15,553
That shouldn't take long.
1261
01:19:15,640 --> 01:19:17,995
Well, get a move on, Simpson. Take them off.
1262
01:19:18,080 --> 01:19:21,596
Oh, very well, sir. Do you mind, sir?
1263
01:19:28,840 --> 01:19:30,797
Well?
1264
01:19:30,880 --> 01:19:33,520
- Do I have to, sir?
- If you don't mind, Simpson.
1265
01:19:33,600 --> 01:19:35,557
Very well, sir.
1266
01:19:41,640 --> 01:19:44,439
- Hurry it up, will you, you guys?
- We're ready.
1267
01:19:45,800 --> 01:19:48,269
He will do. Quickly, mein Liebchen. This way.
1268
01:19:49,440 --> 01:19:51,158
BO: Thanks, Simmy.
1269
01:19:51,240 --> 01:19:54,119
Sir, what am I going to do, sir,
when the chief comes?
1270
01:19:54,200 --> 01:19:58,080
That's a good question, Simpson,
and er...l wish I knew a good answer.
1271
01:19:58,160 --> 01:20:01,630
- Thank you, sir.
- Don't forget, we need a good clear ten minutes.
1272
01:20:01,720 --> 01:20:04,314
- Now, you mustn't let him find out till then.
- Sirl
1273
01:20:04,400 --> 01:20:07,756
Sir, Mr Bo, sir, he's bound to find out
when my time is nigh!
1274
01:20:09,600 --> 01:20:13,559
But, Sergeant, you're not going to leave me
alone with this man, are you?
1275
01:20:13,640 --> 01:20:16,393
Simmy, relax.
All brides are nervous on their wedding night.
1276
01:20:16,480 --> 01:20:18,437
But I don't know what to do!
1277
01:20:18,520 --> 01:20:22,070
Just keep calm,
and keep your fingers crossed, too. (Chuckles)
1278
01:20:22,160 --> 01:20:24,117
Well, remember, if things go wrong,
1279
01:20:24,200 --> 01:20:27,113
you can always escape through the trap door
at the back!
1280
01:20:27,200 --> 01:20:30,352
- Have fun.
- But, Sergeant!
1281
01:20:30,440 --> 01:20:32,397
(Belches)
1282
01:20:35,920 --> 01:20:39,038
My people! You have given enough!
1283
01:20:40,120 --> 01:20:42,077
ABDUL: [ can wait no longer.
1284
01:20:44,840 --> 01:20:48,515
I'm really engaged to a very well-known butcher
in Wolverhampton.
1285
01:20:48,600 --> 01:20:50,830
- Come, my little...
- No, not this week.
1286
01:20:50,920 --> 01:20:52,877
_lily of the Nile.
1287
01:20:52,960 --> 01:20:54,997
- Come, O sweet one.
- No, no. No, no.
1288
01:20:55,080 --> 01:20:57,549
- Come.
- You see, I'm only here for two weeks.
1289
01:20:59,920 --> 01:21:01,877
Aye, aye! You can put that away!
1290
01:21:06,040 --> 01:21:09,112
- I will have youl!
- No, no! No, nol
1291
01:21:15,400 --> 01:21:17,789
Open the gates, Clotski! It's us!
1292
01:21:17,880 --> 01:21:19,951
LADY JANE: Come on!
1293
01:21:20,040 --> 01:21:22,680
- Has the chief found out about Simpson?
- I don't think so.
1294
01:21:22,760 --> 01:21:24,956
SIMPSON: Argh! Help!
- He has now.
1295
01:21:25,040 --> 01:21:26,997
Oh! Oh! Hello, boys.
1296
01:21:27,080 --> 01:21:29,037
Stop him! Stop him!
1297
01:21:30,080 --> 01:21:31,753
I have been tricked!
1298
01:21:31,840 --> 01:21:33,797
Bring me this man!
1299
01:21:33,880 --> 01:21:39,273
I will have his kidneys grilled for breakfast!
I swear it by the prophet Mustafa Leak!
1300
01:21:39,360 --> 01:21:42,716
ALL: Mustafa Leak!
- Never mind all that claptrap, you fools!
1301
01:21:42,800 --> 01:21:44,552
After him! After him!
1302
01:21:45,080 --> 01:21:46,354
Here he comes.
1303
01:21:46,440 --> 01:21:49,159
{(Gunshots)
1304
01:21:53,360 --> 01:21:55,317
(Rapid gunfire)
1305
01:21:56,480 --> 01:21:58,596
Give him covering fire.
1306
01:22:02,240 --> 01:22:04,197
Oh! Oh! Oh, let me in!
1307
01:22:04,280 --> 01:22:06,237
{(Gunshots)
1308
01:22:06,320 --> 01:22:08,277
Accursed ones!
1309
01:22:08,360 --> 01:22:10,829
You will all die for this!
1310
01:22:10,920 --> 01:22:14,879
I, Abdul Abulbul, swear it!
1311
01:22:14,960 --> 01:22:18,794
You will all die at dawn!
1312
01:22:18,880 --> 01:22:22,077
Well, that makes sense.
That mob against the six of us.
1313
01:22:22,160 --> 01:22:25,994
All is not lost yet, Sergeant.
There are still two hours before dawn.
1314
01:22:26,080 --> 01:22:28,390
Come, let us see what's in the storeroom.
1315
01:22:28,480 --> 01:22:30,437
Not much ammunition, Sergeant.
1316
01:22:30,520 --> 01:22:32,477
Well, there's gunpowder.
1317
01:22:32,560 --> 01:22:37,077
A gramophone. That's just what we needed.
I suppose we could give them the needle.
1318
01:22:37,160 --> 01:22:39,117
- (Laughter)
- Sergeant!
1319
01:22:39,200 --> 01:22:41,919
I thought I'd inject a little humour
in a tense moment.
1320
01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:45,356
And over there. You see?
Figs, dates, senna pods, cascara.
1321
01:22:45,440 --> 01:22:47,909
They couldn't have been regular troops, sir.
1322
01:22:48,000 --> 01:22:52,870
Let's see. They've got indigestion tablets,
glucose tablets, salt tablets, the pill,
1323
01:22:52,960 --> 01:22:54,917
and...
1324
01:22:56,040 --> 01:22:57,997
The pill?!
1325
01:22:58,080 --> 01:23:01,311
- What do you suppose they use that for?
- I can't conceive!
1326
01:23:01,400 --> 01:23:03,357
And you see over here? Gum arabic.
1327
01:23:03,440 --> 01:23:06,876
- We need gum arabic!
- We need it like we need a hole in the head.
1328
01:23:06,960 --> 01:23:10,840
That's the luck we're running here.
We can't find anything... Hold it.
1329
01:23:10,920 --> 01:23:13,992
Gum arabic. Gum... (Mumbles)
1330
01:23:15,080 --> 01:23:17,037
Sir, it might just work.
1331
01:23:19,040 --> 01:23:20,997
Come, now! Now!
1332
01:23:22,360 --> 01:23:25,273
Come on, come on. Push! Push! Push!
1333
01:23:26,360 --> 01:23:29,557
So, you see, dearest Bo,
you didn't trip Humphrey at all.
1334
01:23:29,640 --> 01:23:31,790
He deliberately told a lie to dishonour you.
1335
01:23:31,880 --> 01:23:33,996
And so, you, dear sweet wonderful Jane
1336
01:23:34,080 --> 01:23:36,196
travelled all this way alone to tell me?
1337
01:23:36,280 --> 01:23:38,237
(Giggles)
1338
01:23:38,320 --> 01:23:40,994
Oh, it was nothing. Everybody was terribly kind.
1339
01:23:41,080 --> 01:23:43,196
- In fact, they couldn't do enough.
- How sweet.
1340
01:23:43,280 --> 01:23:45,078
Do you realise what this means, Simpson?
1341
01:23:45,160 --> 01:23:47,629
My name is cleared, we can return to England.
1342
01:23:47,720 --> 01:23:50,951
Yes, sir, if we ever get out of this lot.
1343
01:23:51,040 --> 01:23:52,997
Now! Now!
1344
01:23:55,480 --> 01:23:58,074
We will move into position now!
1345
01:24:12,120 --> 01:24:14,077
(Cock crows)
1346
01:24:21,160 --> 01:24:23,117
(Yelling)
1347
01:24:24,480 --> 01:24:25,879
(Gunfire)
1348
01:24:41,480 --> 01:24:44,313
Stop firing!
1349
01:24:44,400 --> 01:24:45,674
They are on the run!
1350
01:24:48,800 --> 01:24:52,156
Argh! Oh! Oh! Argh!
1351
01:24:52,240 --> 01:24:54,197
(Continuous gunfire)
1352
01:25:03,960 --> 01:25:05,519
Oh! Argh!
1353
01:25:08,560 --> 01:25:10,517
& Rousing German song
1354
01:25:10,600 --> 01:25:12,318
Stop firing!
1355
01:25:13,480 --> 01:25:15,391
A relief force!
1356
01:25:18,000 --> 01:25:19,593
(German song continues)
1357
01:25:20,720 --> 01:25:23,360
& ..was der Jager macht
1358
01:25:24,360 --> 01:25:27,318
& Hier bleibt die Rose
1359
01:25:28,680 --> 01:25:30,000
& Und gab sie hier
1360
01:25:30,080 --> 01:25:32,640
(Speaks Arabic)
1361
01:25:32,720 --> 01:25:34,677
(German song continues)
1362
01:25:38,920 --> 01:25:41,355
(Laughs raucously)
1363
01:25:44,560 --> 01:25:46,676
(German song starts again)
1364
01:25:50,800 --> 01:25:53,360
What did I tell you? We got 'em worried!
1365
01:25:53,440 --> 01:25:55,954
(Groans)
1366
01:25:56,040 --> 01:25:58,316
Are you all right, sir?
1367
01:25:58,400 --> 01:26:02,280
Yes, but keep a lookout.
They'll attack once they know what's happening.
1368
01:26:02,360 --> 01:26:05,671
(Gramophone music blares)
1369
01:26:07,160 --> 01:26:08,639
(Warped) & Und er spricht
1370
01:26:08,720 --> 01:26:10,472
J Das Madchen an...
1371
01:26:10,560 --> 01:26:12,517
(Singing slows down)
1372
01:26:19,680 --> 01:26:22,274
Uh-oh, that's torn it.
1373
01:26:22,360 --> 01:26:24,317
(Music plays very slowly)
1374
01:26:26,320 --> 01:26:28,596
(Music winds down and stops)
1375
01:26:38,760 --> 01:26:41,195
We've got a few surprises left for them.
1376
01:26:42,280 --> 01:26:43,998
Attack! Kill!
1377
01:26:44,080 --> 01:26:46,435
Look out! Here they come!
1378
01:26:46,520 --> 01:26:48,477
(Angry shouting)
1379
01:26:52,240 --> 01:26:54,709
SHEIKH ABULBUL: Kill!
1380
01:27:00,960 --> 01:27:04,635
All right, look alive.
Another 50 yards, they'll be in it.
1381
01:27:04,720 --> 01:27:06,996
(Gunfire)
1382
01:27:07,080 --> 01:27:09,674
Killl Kill them!
1383
01:27:16,240 --> 01:27:21,030
Go on! Go on, you fools!
Attack and kill them! Go on, kill them!
1384
01:27:25,000 --> 01:27:26,354
Bingo! Let 'em have it!
1385
01:27:40,920 --> 01:27:43,560
I'm enjoying this, you know!
1386
01:27:45,000 --> 01:27:46,559
Well, don't just hold it, throw it!
1387
01:27:46,640 --> 01:27:47,914
Oh!
1388
01:27:55,560 --> 01:27:57,358
Just like old times, sir.
1389
01:27:58,080 --> 01:28:00,515
Thank you, sir. Argh! Ooh!
1390
01:28:04,320 --> 01:28:05,833
Go on! Go on, you fools!
1391
01:28:05,920 --> 01:28:09,356
(Groans) Argh!
1392
01:28:12,120 --> 01:28:14,634
Here! More ammunition, quick!
1393
01:28:14,720 --> 01:28:17,872
- There's no more ammunition left.
- Hey, Cricket Joe!
1394
01:28:17,960 --> 01:28:21,396
- More bombs!
- Close of play, Sergeant. They're all finished.
1395
01:28:22,480 --> 01:28:25,871
Well, that's done it. The minute
they get out of that goo, we're cooked.
1396
01:28:25,960 --> 01:28:27,519
(Yelling)
1397
01:28:27,600 --> 01:28:30,274
(Bugle fanfare)
1398
01:28:34,120 --> 01:28:37,238
Ooh! I do believe we've come in the nick.
1399
01:28:37,320 --> 01:28:39,277
Company!
1400
01:28:39,360 --> 01:28:41,317
We're moving into action!
1401
01:28:41,400 --> 01:28:43,198
Forward!
1402
01:28:53,800 --> 01:28:57,794
This time you win, but I shall have my revenge!
1403
01:28:57,880 --> 01:28:59,712
I swear it!
1404
01:29:00,800 --> 01:29:02,757
(Gunfire)
1405
01:29:06,960 --> 01:29:08,917
Hey!
1406
01:29:09,000 --> 01:29:12,197
Simmy, baby, I told you we'd... Hold it!
1407
01:29:12,280 --> 01:29:14,237
What's happened to the Kommandant?
1408
01:29:17,120 --> 01:29:19,999
- Have you been hit, sir?
- Yes, in many places.
1409
01:29:20,080 --> 01:29:22,196
Have some water, sir. You'll feel better.
1410
01:29:25,280 --> 01:29:27,237
Oh! Oh! Oh!
1411
01:29:33,720 --> 01:29:35,996
(Applause)
1412
01:29:37,360 --> 01:29:39,158
(Nocker barks order)
1413
01:29:41,120 --> 01:29:42,997
Sergeant Nocker!
1414
01:29:43,080 --> 01:29:46,277
Yeah! Kommandant, if you don't mind.
1415
01:29:46,360 --> 01:29:48,317
Bo! How are you? Lady Jane!
1416
01:29:48,400 --> 01:29:52,030
Oh, it's good to see you, Sergeant.
Can you stay a while?
1417
01:29:52,120 --> 01:29:55,158
Well, I just didn't come for tea and crumpets,
old boy.
1418
01:29:55,240 --> 01:29:57,675
Wonderful! I'll get Simpson to collect your things.
1419
01:29:57,760 --> 01:30:01,151
Hold it. Never mind that, I got my own batman.
Look alive! On the double!
1420
01:30:01,240 --> 01:30:04,073
Left right, left, right, hee-yah!
1421
01:30:04,160 --> 01:30:07,551
- Your batman?
- Well, you must admit, it's better than Robin.
1422
01:30:08,800 --> 01:30:10,757
SIMPSON: Oh, excuse me, sir.
1423
01:30:10,840 --> 01:30:13,878
- You're in.
- Oh, thank you very much indeed, Simpson.
1424
01:30:13,960 --> 01:30:17,874
Well, I'll see you in a few moments,
Kommandant. Have a talk with my wife.
1425
01:30:17,960 --> 01:30:19,553
Give 'em a good go, Bo!
1426
01:30:19,640 --> 01:30:22,075
Well, Lady Jane,
you're looking lovelier than ever.
1427
01:30:22,160 --> 01:30:25,039
- Thank you.
- And I see you've been kept rather busy.
1428
01:30:25,120 --> 01:30:27,031
Oh, yes. Look.
1429
01:30:27,120 --> 01:30:29,794
- Isn't he adorable? The image of his father!
- (Gurgles)
1430
01:30:41,960 --> 01:30:43,917
How is that? (Chuckles)
1431
01:30:44,000 --> 01:30:47,516
- Not out!
- (Laughter and applause)
111402
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