Original subtitles

*************************by Fuckethead**************************

My name is Charles Bronson.

And all my life I wanted to be famous.

Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

I knew I was made for better things

I had a calling.

I just didn't know... what it is.

Wasn't singing

...I can fucking hit...

Kinda running out of choices really... aren't we?

Baby it's slow

When lights go low

There's no help, no...

Baby it's slow

When lights go low

There's no help, no...

He's drilling thru the Spiritus Sanctus tonight

through the dark hip falls

screaming "Oh you mambos!"

"Kill me! and kill me! and kill me!"

If I jerk the handle

You'll die in your dreams

If I jerk the handle jerk the handle

You'll thrill me and thrill me and thrill me...

How else can I explain it?

There was nothing wonky about my upbringing, my parents were decent...

respectable and upstanding members of society.

I went to school. I kept my head down.

Sure like most kids I'm going to trouble.

Bastard!

I loved to...

Oh Michael!?

Mrs. Peterson I really must talk to you about...

But I wasn't bad.

Wasn't bad bad.

And I still had my principles.

I took the first job I could get my hands on.

Put the fries Peterson.

I suppose the crumpet wasn't bad.

Mrs. Peterson?

We'd like to have a word with your son...

Michael.

Michael Peterson?

Right.

Yeah, before I forget, I did come into this world as Michael Peterson.

But I go out with my fighting name.

Charlie Bronson.

Which is my alter ego.

1974.

tough time to be young in England.

Not a lot of opportunity around.

Still...

life moves on

Irene and I got hitched

It was alright... we didn't have it bad for a couple from the chippy.

But they don't give you a star on The Walk of Fame for not paying. Do they?

Michael! What is that noise?!

For God's sake...

So... this is the post office I did over...

This is what I got away with...

And this is what they gave me...

Seven years.

Don't worry son... you won't do the seven...

You'll be out in four.

How's it going anyway? Heh?

Go on! How's it going?!

I've always fancied myself as a bit of a comedian.

Seven years...

Is a long time...

Now I'm not going to stand here, and tell you...

Eh... Tell you... That prison is not bad.

No.

That would be misrepresenting myself and I think enough of that has been done already!

Don't you?!

No.

You see, I didn't see a cell, a cage, or a box

To me it was a hotel room

Don't get me wrong...

For most people...

prison is tough.

A monotonous nightmare

24 hours a day.

7 days a week.

365 days a year

of pure unadulterated living...

breathing... hell.

But for me...

prison was finally a place where I could sharp my tools...

hone my skills...

It's like a battleground, ain't it? It was an opportunity...

and a place where soon every native was going to know my name.

What's the matter Charlie?

- You want me to take you through it again? - No.

- Me don't do work in longterm prisons. - It's vocational training.

- So you can get a job when you get... - Fuck off!

- What's the problem Peterson? - Problem?

I said "What's the problem, Peterson?"

I don't know, I don't have a problem.

For sure there mate!

- Would you like a cup o' tea mate? - Thanks Mickey, love one.

- Milk and sugar? - Please.

- How many sugars? - Two.

...are you upon my knee

Tea for two and two for tea

Just me for you and you for me...

hello...

And would you like a cup o' tea too mate?

Nothing close to my heart than a good cup of british char.

- Milk and sugar? - No, I like it dark.

That's an impressive set of guns you have there you must be handy in a brawl.

Bam! Bam! Knock-out...

Ding Ding...

Very nice.

Time stops for no man ladies and germs.

My time was coming up!

Parole!

And just when I was about to make a name to be reckoned with...

- Oh yeah? As what? - As what!?

You don't want to be trapped inside with me sunshine.

Inside I'm someone nobody wants to fuck with. Do you understand?

I'm Charlie Bronson.

I am Britain's most violent prisoner.

Prison was...

honestly...

Brilliant!

I liked it personally, oh fuck that! I loved it!

It was exciting!

It was on the edge...

It was magnus

at it's very best.

Problem is, once you get comfortable or sometimes even before, they ghost you

again and again...

moving you from prison to prison... to prison...

And I fucking hate that.

Parkhurst. God bless that place.

The accommodation was more than worthy of my royal self.

your own bed.

Toilet... a sink...

The food was of exceptional standard.

Yes, Parkhurst was ????.

And how prison rule, what can I say? Well worth a visit.

????? not my favorite place to visit

but the staff are ready to make your stay as memorable as possible.

Swell ah? How we laughed...

Please release me

Oh let me go

'Cause I don't love you

anymore...

In the end I got it wrong...

quite seriously wrong actually...

They sent me here.

The funny farm.

Right Peterson, now that you've had the chance to cool down, I'll explain the Rampton rules.

Rule #1: You do as you're told.

Rule #2?

This ain't prison.

We're lion tamers here.

Right, take these pills.

Stick 'em up your fucking ass! yeah...

Who you're fucking with? You're gonna die you cunts!

Hold him...

You fucking cunt! You fucking cunt!

The thing is...

They don't understand.

They'll never understand.

and that scares 'em.

Is it the key to be rubbed up?

What's that gonna change?

Ain't gonna change the you inside.

Nothing can hold the truth.

You're not more mad than I am.

Yeah it's all just made up, it's rubbish.

You.

Me.

9 year old girl.

True loveology.

When I look back upon my life...

it's always with a sense of shame

I've always been the one to blame

For everything I long to do

No matter when, or where, or who

There's one thing in common too...

It's a, it's a, it's a...

it's a sin

it's a sin

Everything I've ever done

Everything I ever do

Every place I've ever been

Everywhere I'm going to

it's a sin

At school they taught me how to be

So pure in thought and word and deed

They didn't quite succeed

For everything I long to do

No matter when, or where, or who

There's one thing in common too...

It's a, it's a, it's a...

It's a sin

It's a sin

Everything I've ever done Everything I ever do...

Cunt!

Fucking loonies they're great mate, but...

Well...

They're fucking loonies! Arent they?

And I had to get out somehow.

This was no hotel I wanted to stay at anymore.

Being a celebrity and all I needed to check out...

And I had a good idea alright. Do we?

I will now reenact what I like to call...

What happens...

when murder goes wrong...

When do I go back?

Now now Mr. Peterson, we aren't going to start up all that silliness again. Are we?

Listen... nursie.

I just want to know when my trial is.

And when I head back to the slammer.

Alright?

Wrong! Mr. Peterson.

Now let's not play silly bad words. Eh?

I'll just have to pop you in the butt with one of my special potions. Hmm...

When's my trial?!

Ah, ah, ah.

No...

Mr. White recovered dear. There's no trial.

Isn't that wonderful?

However... you are being moved.

Where?

Yes Mr. Peterson.

Broadmoor asylum for the criminally insane...

I deserve to go to prison for what I did.

I want my hotel room back!

Well I'm sure you'll find yourself some solitary.

And I did...

26 years.

26 years in solitary I've done.

And I killed no one!

I'm not joking. Not a soul!

Ever!

Well...

I thought...

If you're gonna be unfair with me...

I'm gonna show you the ultimate in unfair take-downs.

Now this...

is what I call "Charlie vs Broadmoor"

When I'm the Rock and Roll...

When I'm the Rock and Roll...

When I'm the Rock and Roll star...

When I'm a Rock and Roll...

When I'm a Rock and Roll...

When I'm a Rock and Roll...

(super star)

Well they towed me.

Truth be told though they didn't want me in there anymore anyway.

Apparently, I'd managed to cost the system

tens of millions of pounds in damage

and her Majesty

no longer wanted to pleasure herself with Britain's most expensive prisoner!

I know it's not the moniker that I was looking for

but what were they gonna do?

I mean they couldn't let a loony run around for free!

Ow yes...

they had a dirty trick up their sleeve

The only way to certify me sane... ain't it?!

So before I knew it I was back on the streets again!

But Charlie B. ain't no fucking pillow biter

Oh no!

So it was time to suck up the free air

and see what the world had to offer me.

Very funny boys.

Right...

It's been a pleasure.

Look at you!

Come on in, son.

That's right...

I'll show you your room and then we'll have a nice cup of tea.

Come on son...

That's right...

Oh... look it's me!

I was very small.

Where's all my stuff?

Oh, we couldn't bring everything Michael that was Luton.

- Not all of it? - Oh we kept some...

Where is my bed?

No, not this one the other one who I had when I was a child.

I couldn't keep everything Michael we don't have the room.

Where is my bed still in Luton?

Luton.

Never changes, does it?

Now my mom once said "Stick with what you know".

And I knew two things...

I knew Luton... and I knew uncle Jack.

And uncle Jack knew everyone.

And anyone he didn't know wasn't worth knowing.

- In a holiday? - No.

Something better than that I want to make a name for myself.

Ah yeah doing what?

Oi I'll kill the Queen.

- So you off to London then. - No.

Luton's where it's at.

Well fuck me inside out!

Come in my dear boy, you're just in time for cocktails.

Luton calling...

Ladies and gentlemen in ladies attire...

allow me to present my favorite nephew.

Newly relieved of her majesty's pleasure.

Mickey Peterson.

Sit down my dear boy.

Miss Gorgeous here will get you a cocktail.

Michael

It's very exciting to meet you.

Our Jacky here... he says you're quite a slept, here on the inside.

Thank you.

It's a complete turn-off.

Your face, rock.

Black-kissing a fanny.

That's an upstanding set of mustaches.

I admire your dedication.

I always knew you had an artistic bent.

So big boy...

What does the future hold for Michael Peterson?

Ambition is the virtue of all great men.

He's going to stay here with us.

Alright my pets?

Say the more the merrier.

For as long as you like.

That's very strong.

It's wonderful.

Uncle Jack always had his ear to the ground.

And it turns out there was an old prison mate minding Luton too.

- Peterson. - You smoking?!

- Yes. - How long did you quit?!

- 10 years. - Fucking hell!

Make me a cup of tea, please.

Let's fuck.

So?

Are you interested?

Of course I fucking am!

You're looking good Mickey.

Fit...

Strong...

Powerful...

You could make some money.

Serious money...

All you need's a name.

What's wrong with Mickey Peterson?

No, you need a...

fighting name.

Like a movie star.

Charlton Heston.

Look love...

Nobody gives a toss about Charlton Heston, the man's a cunt.

You're more the Charles Bronson type.

Charles Bronson...

Yes...

"Death Wish" Fits you down to a T perfect.

Charlie fucking Bronson.

What you lookin' at?

I can feel you lookin' at me Charlie.

- Do you want me to do your nails? - No.

- Where's that from? - Fighting.

- And that one? - Fighting...

- This... - Fighting...

You're very muscley aren't you?

Do you mind if I hold your arm?

Oh my god.

It's huge.

You should a...

What?

You... You shouldn't...

What Charlie?

You shouldn't mess around with boys who are bigger than you.

Oh really?

your fucking money...

Oh yes...

Alright!

You want some fucking more, yeah?...

20 quid?! You're having a fuckin laugh ain't ya?

Oh spare me the Oliver Twist routine. Charlie, love, you need to build your audience.

- I give you fucking magic in there! - Magic?

You just pissed on a gypsy in the middle of fucking nowhere.

It's hardly the hottest ticket in town darling.

Where is the next one?

Fucking go...

Let's fucking go!

Come on!

I love you.

What?

I love you...

It's been nice...

But I love Brian...

Who's Brian?

He's my boyfriend.

And he's got a motorbike.

Brian.

Yes sir, can I help you?

I want to take a butcher's at that ring there.

That ring there, sir, that's a thousand pound ring, sir.

Fine...

Fuck off!

Don't fucking move!

Or I'll kill ya.

Aight...

Don't fucking move!

And don't call the police for 10 minutes.

I won't...

Aight.

15 minutes...

Merry Christmas.

I've been thinking...

You're a very sweet man, Charlie...

'bout, about you...

Yeah, but you've got no ambition. You know what I mean?

Oi this.

Thank you.

Brian and me are getting married...

Right...

Well... hmm

Congratulations!

Eh?

See you later Charlie.

Fucking charming...

Onwards and outwards!

That's what I always say...

??????Hitting is that there for a reason, didn't it?

Yay...

Magic...

The way it turns out that lovely lady in the jewelery shop waited exactly 15 minutes.

But it didn't take 'em 15 minutes to find me.

We'd been expecting them.

Well, well, well...

Charles Bronson... is it now?

An American Mongolian pop star.

Film star sir.

"Death Wish" Bloody good as it happens.

Yeah I'm sure of it, sure, thank you.

So...

69 days, was it?

69 days all to yourself.

Another of your prison record's broken.

So tell me Charles Bronson...

What exactly did you do with yourself for these 69 days?

I was building an empire.

You're ridiculous.

Come on Charlie. Something to read?

I got another Judy Cooper.

???????? This one's really good.

Shut your fucking mouth!

No problem Charlie.

Shut the fuck up you cunt!

Shut it!

Watch!

I got a librarian up here!

And he's in a lot of trouble!

So I think you should send someone up to help him out. Don't you?!

Fuck's sake, not again!

Dr. Hotchkins! Get the doctor!

Alright...

Sit down.

Not there! In the fucking karsy you cunt!

What happens now?

Ah... hmmm... I don't know.

Well we just have to... we'll have to wait.

...I can wait all day... ...don't got anywhere... (mumbilng)

fucking cunt... (mumbling)

...No other fucking way... (mumbling)

I'll wait... (mumbling)

Hello?

Hello Charlie.

Can you hear me?

Of course I can fucking hear you there's nothing wrong with my hearing you cunt.

What is it, Charlie?

"What is it, Charlie!?"

Well...

I'm sitting here...

with uhmm...

- What's your name? - Love. - Love!!!

- Andy Love. - Ho! Andy Love!

Right... I'm sitting here

with Andy Love

and I'm gonna snap his fucking neck and stick his head up his ass

if I don't get what I want!

What do you want?

What do I want?

What have you got?

Well...

that's entirely up to you...

Isn't it?

We're done you can fuck off alright.

Alright.

Andy Love...

Are you a family man?

- Yeah. - Yeah...

- Uh I've got two kids. - Two kids...

- Wha-Wha-What are you doing? - What am I doing?

What the fuck does it look like I'm doing you cunt?

- Loo-look, le-le-let's talk. - I'm done talking.

Fucking pointless.

- Wait. - Wait for what?

Alright!

- That's it! - What you gonna do now?

What am I gonna do?

I'm gonna put my fucking body paint on that's what I'm gonna do.

Put my butter all over my...

watch...

Fucking hell...

it's a bitch.

Go on get some of that rubbed on my back you cunt.

Huh?

Get over the motherfucking bed now and rub me here you slag!

Go on rub it in. That's right we ain't got all day.

Rub it right down my back. Go on, down my back and my legs!

Back o' my legs, my ass, my ass cheeks.

On my ass.

Not in my ass you fucking homo! Dammit!

Go on son quickly!

Quicker! Quicker! Quicker!

Fuck off!

Sit down! In the corner! Don't move cunt!

Now hold on to your feelings, alright? 'Cause it's gonna get fucking hairy.

Come on and fuck off you cunts!

Alright... Charlie Bronson...

I'll get straight to the point.

We have been standing rather close to the window of late and I detect a rocky patch.

I had hoped that you coming on to the special unit with us

might make you want to stop this hostage taking business.

This attacking of my officers...

We can handle this prick sir.

Webber would you please take the rest of the afternoon off. Thank you.

Be in my office at 6:15 sharp tomorrow morning. Thank you, goodbye.

Yes, sir.

Look, I'm not in the habit of making deals with prisoners.

For your recent escapade you will be punished. Again... block.

If you have absolutely no interest whatsoever in yourself

then you leave us at a bit of a loss with regards of what to do with you.

What would you like us to do? Charlie Bronson.

Fuck off!

You're pitiful...

You know that...

and I can promise you this.

If you further this mindless behavior, if you continue to act in this nihilistic and godless fashion

you will die inside.

Uno, dos, tres...

Cuatro... Oops, sorry.

Cómo está? What's this?

- A paint. - Good for you.

Sun, sea, sand. Make it work. Perfect.

Who's is this?

Hey! Who's is this?

Come on now, who did the crime?

Bombs away...

Not your art teacher for most of you, no?

Very interesting, Charlie.

Interesting?

Yeah, it's interesting.

- And what does that mean? - What does "interesting" mean?

Interesting's good.

Bravado!

You know?

Yeah you can't pin it down. Can't compute.

You can't tie that up in a nice lil' pink bow.

Nah, you can't pin me down mate.

Pájaros!

- You're fucking me?! - Birds, birds, Charlie, I'm learning Spanish. Español.

Olé...

Olé...

Lot of birds in your work Charlie.

Well I don't really get to see, maestro, a bit off...

birds and... pa-ja-ros...

Pajaros.

Pajaros.

I know mate.

Here's an idea for ya.

Find that piece of you Charles. That piece, that doesn't belong here.

Fucking hell!

Prisoner plating 1314, Bronson, sir!

Well then Bronson...

Well...

Mr. Danielson here tells me that

you've been doing extraordinarily well in your creative endeavors.

- Champions of butting Magritte. - That's right yeah.

Now... You know we've been holding these artist materials for you.

Sent in by your cousin, Lauraine?

Well now that we are rather sadly having to consider the future of the arts facility.

I didn't see any reason why you shouldn't be allowed these materials now.

Should help you tremendously with your work.

Mr. Danielson really has got great confidence in your cooperation.

Your responsibility, your ability to interact within group.

I strongly advise that you continue to follow this path.

And I look forward to seeing some of this wonderful work I've heard so much about.

Gov-Governor... Cha-Charlie's actually brought something for you to have a look at now... If you'd, if you'd like to... Charlie...

That's for you.

Thank you.

If you give it to Webber, I'd be able to have it a 'lil bit later.

Thank you.

Right then Bronson! What are you waiting for son?! Let's go! Move it! Move it!

I said let's go! Move it!

Oops, sorry Webber, that's for you mate.

He's a star fucker that one...

I'll make sure he looks at that painting mate

don't you worry about that.

Review the unit!

Honest to God though Charlie and I'll tell you this straight

I wouldn't be surprised if they started to discuss your release date.

I mean, look... It's just my opinion, it's not necessarily the opinion of others but...

you know, if there's one thing I am, I am a very good judge of character.

Yup.

Si... si.. Si si si.

You'll get a call mate. You will...

You know why?

You're a brilliant artist. Bueno.

Buenísimo.

I'm so excited mate.

I'm proud as punch.

'Cause you're a fucking star!

Gov's a cunt.

He is. Fuck him! Can't stand the wanker.

Just keep your head down.

And I'm absolutely positivo that we can do this.

We can mate.

What you mean we?

Wait no... I'm just saying I'm just saying... no no no no no, Charlie, Charles

Don't misunderstand me mate.

What I'm saying is

You...

You...

are finally going to get what you always wanted.

What you know about what I fucking want?

What happened to my tea Phil?

Sorry mate, I'm such a cunt I completely forgot.

Two for you.

Two for me.

And then we have a cup of tea.

Charlie

What is it you want now?

Music

I don't see how's that gonna help the situation.

I'll fucking kill him!

I swear it!

Bennett.

- Give me some music on now, please. - Yes Gov!

Hey Charlie...

Not feeling very well now, mate?

Oh yeah...

that's a fucking piece of me!

Right that's enough! He's had enough! Get him out of here!

Go on and get him the fuck out of here! He's had enough!

Come on!

You fucking cunts!

No class tomorrow eh Phil?

*************** subbed by ear and synced by Fuckethead ***************

Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org