Original subtitles

Lord, I want to be like Jesus

In my heart, in my heart

Lord, I want to be like Jesus

In my heart

In my heart,

In my heart

Lord, I want to be like Jesus

Lord, I want to be more holy

In my heart, in my heart

Lord, I want to be more holy

in my heart

In my heart

in my heart

Lord, I want to be a Christian

Mm, in my heart

Don't be scared, Randy, it's only love.

Lord, forgive your servant his weakness.

Purge me, Father, of my sins,

and please, please take these dreams away.

Last night I had a dream that you

Were holding me so dear

You took away my doubting heart

You took away my fear

I love you, boy, you're mine alone

And I am yours to take

I promise you one day

That we will mend every mistake

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want."

Mom?

"I will fear no evil, for You are with me."

Mom.

Were you up all night?

- Did you eat yet? - Did you pray yet?

They used to put the pictures on the milk cartons.

Little lost ones, stolen babies, stray lambs.

They would have their pictures right there

on that milk carton.

They would let the world know.

When did they stop?

Jesus listens, you know.

And maybe sometime the mail just pile up a little high,

but he opens every prayer in the end.

More letters you send, the better your chances.

I'll be back in one minute.

Lord, me again.

I am so selfish, so steep in my own sin

I forgot to ask for the one thing I wanted most.

Lord, I know you would have never done

anything to Chrissie.

She's just a little girl.

And, Lord, I know you have a plan, and whatever it may be, I would never

question that, I would never dare question.

But if you find the time to get to this letter,

then please, Lord, please consider

sending my sister home now.

It's been six years, Lord.

Six years.

More dirty sheets, Randy? This is getting regular.

Morning, Ms. Rousseau, looking chipper today.

I think that robe's my favorite.

Ooh, you done with that?

- Efrem. - What?

My dad's on the road this week, I ain't had time to get to the store.

What?

Hey little boy, now bring me some water

I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm old.

Hey little boy, now come to your father.

Randy.

Randy!

Hey!

Okay, it's ignore Efrem week again already?

And if you don't repay the error of your ways

Your ma and I will love you still

Love you still

Hey little boy, best watch your behavior

And all the words that you speak

So, what's going on with these sheets, man?

Have you, please God, resumed jerking off

like a normal teenage sex fiend?

Come on.

It's not gay to talk about sex, Randy.

Straight guys never talk about anything else.

So how long has it been since you choked the chicken?

Almost a year.

Good God.

It's been hard.

Permanently hard, I should think.

No wonder you so uptight.

How the hell do you do it?

I pray a lot.

Ah, the power of prayer.

Prayer works, Efrem.

Okay.

I've been getting these dreams.

Aha!

I mean, how do you control what you dream?

I wake up in, in, I'm soaked in...

In?

Say it.

Sin.

Someone say my name?

Hey, Randy. Hey, loser.

Hey, freak.

Hey, Crystal, what are you doing here?

I came to shoo you guys along in case you forgot.

- Oh, my God. - Oh, shit.

I'm meeting with Mr. Brock about the play.

Is that today?

Oh, my God, I can't believe you guys. It's totally today in like 20 minutes.

Want to hit this?

I don't know why y'all do that.

Y'all know Jesus is not pleased.

Actually, we had a little convo

and my Jesus is very pleased.

Oh, really?

You had a conversation with Jesus?

Sure did.

You ain't the only one with a main line.

Jesus is on the main line

Tell Him what you want, baby

Jesus is on the main line

Tell Him what you want, hey

Jesus is one the main line

Tell Him what you want

Just call him up and tell him what you want

Jesus is on the main line, tell him what you want

Which sin?

Huh?

Which sin were you guys talking about when I walked up?

Hopefully one of my favorites.

It's not a real sin, it's a Randy sin.

He's having nocturnal emissions.

Efrem.

Wet dreams about what?

That's a good question.

Randy?

Randy?

Or should that be who?

Hey there, beautiful.

- Huh? - Hey there, beautiful.

Love, so high school.

Hello, we are in high school.

You may be in high school, but some of us

are looking at the stars.

I say we do a musical. I mean, we all sing.

- Randy sings. - I do harmonies.

Efrem sort of raps or whatever that is he does.

I do harmonies.

I dance and Todd plays the guitar.

- I... - Leslie does harmonies.

Between us we...

Almost make up one whole talented person?

Would you shut your mouth?

Randy, what do you think we should do?

You'll probably direct and star in everything.

Uh, maybe Jesus Christ Superstar.

- Uh-uh, negative. - It's a good show.

It's just... it might be nice to take

a break from Jesus for a while.

Oh, my God, what kind of preacher's daughter are you?

Don't get me wrong, I love Jesus, of course,

but He's there in everything we do.

He's not so vain He needs constant name checks.

Actually, I was thinking maybe we could do Rent.

- It's high school theater. - Really?

Mr. Brock is not going to be down with

drag queens, hustlers, drugs, and swear words.

Then Mr. Brock can kiss my...

Mr. Brock!

Well, young people.

I don't know whether to applaud your initiative

or be insulted by your determination to

strike out without me.

It's your fault.

For inspiring us, sir.

What are you thinking of doing for your first production?

A modern day musical.

Indeed.

Tells the tale of poor, young artists

struggling to make it in contemporary society.

I see.

And what is the title of this inspiring opus?

- It's actually... - Jesus Christ Superstar.

Oh, boy, it's a little rich for our small town blood,

don't you think?

The good Lord singing rock n' roll,

lifting his skirts and hoofing.

Well, I did anticipate this problem,

which is why I sharing in your enthusiasm

for the British theater, and making it

a condition that your maiden production be.

Romeo and fucking Juliet.

Romeo and goddamn motherfucking Juliet.

That tired ass, cock sucking...

Come on, Efrem. What did you expect?

Vampire lesbians of Sodom?

It's actually not bad, it's kind of steamy.

I love the movie.

- Oh, my gosh, me too. - It did kind of rock.

Yeah, it also had a budget of like a zillion dollars.

So, we have Randy.

What am I going to do?

Be your genius self and come up with stuff.

Imagination has no price.

Well what can we do to make Romeo and Juliet

fucked up enough to keep Effie happy?

Effie?

Black Romeo and white Juliet.

The school administration should be fine with that.

Screw that, man.

What would freak those fuckheads out?

It's our last year, for Christ's sake.

These teachers must be shafted.

What about like a white trash version?

Tale of two trailer parks.

We ain't white, honey.

Yeah, but we're actors, we can play anything.

How about a gay version?

What's with you today, are you high?

Oh, my God.

Romeo and Julian.

My girl, you totally rule.

It's brilliant.

Romeo and Julian, I actually kind of dig that.

Who knew?

- Randy, you should play Romeo. - What?

Why not, dude?

I'll be your Julian if you'll be my Romeo.

Everybody thinks I'm gay anyway

for hanging out with y'all, but I'm still the

fastest boy in the football field, so fuck 'em.

Leslie, you'd be cool with that?

Are you kidding?

I think boys together are like the hottest thing on Earth like ever.

Damn, the preacher's kid's a freak.

Oh, my God, everybody's going to flip out.

Efrem!

Squares.

You know this Shakespeare guy

kind of really knew his stuff.

So, Randy, do you mind me directing?

Randy?

You learned it already?

Enough.

Doesn't sound as good as your keyboard, but...

I think I just about got all the chords down.

You suck but in the most distracting way

You're beautiful

And there ain't nothing more to say

I get excited by the thought of you

It brightens up my day

So you suck in the most distracting way

When we fight, I was not right

I'm feeling like a clown

I dig my heels and stand my ground

'Til reason can be found

But when I'm faced with possibly

Not having you around

I'll do my best to work it out

I'll puff my chest, I'll scream and shout

You

Suck

But in the most distracting way, you're beautiful

I love you 'til my dying day

I get excited by the thought of you

it brightens up my day

So you suck but in the most distracting way

I said you suck, because you take my breath away

Randy.

Randy.

Randy.

- See y'all Sunday. - Catch you later, Romeo.

Wherefore art thou!

- Later, guys. - Bye y'all.

Fuck off.

She was dead?

I swear it looked so real.

What does it mean, Crystal?

Why do I keep having these, I don't know what they are, visions?

Or premonitions?

What are you saying?

She's saying you got the shining, dude.

Maybe it has something to do with

- you being, you know. - Uh, oh.

With me being what?

You know.

No really, what?

Yeah right, not even.

Randy.

We're your friends, you can trust us.

Crystal, I'm not gay.

How do you know?

What kind of question is that?

You're still a virgin, right?

So are you.

Yeah, don't remind me.

So how do you know you're not gay?

Because when I masturbate, I think about boys.

Crystal!

Just like you.

Crystal, for gosh sakes.

Randy, who do you think about?

- That's none of your... - I think we know.

Oh, do we?

Dude, I think everyone knows.

Oh, do they?

Yeah, I mean, you heard Todd.

For gosh sakes.

Everyone thinks we're all gay anyway.

That's not about me, that's about you.

Me?

Okay, right.

See, you and your smart mouth.

Acting all bitchy.

I'm not like you.

I'm in the choir.

Now, that's butch.

Almost as butch as you staring into Todd's

eyes singing love duets in front of the entire school.

I was singing to both of them.

Jerking off to the both of them?

See, you're a bitch.

What about you, Efrem?

Are you gay?

God, I hope so.

What else am I going to do with all these Lady Gaga CDs?

But you're a skateboarder.

I know, right?

Isn't it fabulous?

Efrem, it's a sin.

And so's lying.

Give in to yourself.

- Randy. - Don't touch me.

Dude, it's okay, she's a girl.

Both of you can go to hell.

Okay, see you there!

Efrem.

What do you want?

To see you.

You can see me at home.

Well, I think your mom may have

something to say about that.

Mom doesn't have much to say since you lit out on her.

She didn't have too much to say before I left neither.

Well sorry if losing her only daughter took some of her attention off of you.

Randy, come on man, we went over all this.

So, what are you doing here?

Why aren't you somewhere out there looking for your daughter?

You don't think I've looked?

You don't think I'm still looking?

I'm here because I have more than one child.

I came here to see how you're doing.

Well, here's how I'm doing, how all teenagers

with deadbeat dads are doing.

Satisfied, Pops?

Who the hell you think you're talking to?

I don't know, it's been a while.

Who the fuck are you?

What did you just say "fuck" to me?

Randy! What did you just say...

Oh, my God.

Fuck?

"And call no man your father on Earth,

for you have one father who is in heaven."

Mom?

Mom?

Mom, you are so corny sometimes.

Hey, Justine.

Randy, you need to come down to the market.

Hey Randy, she's in the back by frozen foods.

Just something for you to remember to never forget, okay?

Thank you, baby, here.

Here you go, sis, okay?

Look closely, ma'am.

You could have saw her this very morning, okay?

You never know, you never know.

Okay, I just need you to look, just try to do your best.

Here you go, sister, here you go.

Think real hard, okay, 'cause she's a

beautiful little girl, beautiful little girl.

Will you hear me, my baby's strong.

Here's one for you.

Hey, hey, this here, this here's her brother, you know?

She looked just like him.

Yeah, she worships him.

Always did.

I'm ready to go home now.

Okay, come on, come on, let's go home little one.

Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop.

Thank you so much, here, don't forget.

Don't forget, don't let them forget, never forget.

It's okay, it's okay.

You hold onto mama's hand, okay?

Good and tight.

And don't you be sad, little baby boy.

Mama's got you.

You're safe.

Would you like for me to sing you a song, baby?

Jesus loves me, this I know

For the Bible tells me so

Little ones to him belong

They are weak, but he is strong

Yes, Jesus loves me

Yes, Jesus loves me

Yes, Jesus loves me

For the Bible tells me so

Ooh, home.

Well baby, you go ahead and get washed up

and I'm going to fix you something special, you hear me?

- Yes ma'am. - Okay.

Oh, gosh, she's here, Randy!

Oh, God, Randy, Randy, Randy!

In here!

Randy, Randy baby, she was here, she was here.

She was here.

She read the note, she ate a piece of pie.

She was here and I wasn't here for it.

I missed her.

She might be still here, she might be still here hiding.

Chrissie, Chrissie, Chrissie baby!

Chrissie, it's okay!

She's not here.

How do you know?

You are not even looking, Randy.

Help Chrissie, mommy's here!

I ate the pie.

I ate the pie.

I thought it was for me.

Go to your room, Randy.

Go to your room!

Mom?

Mom?

- Todd? - Hey.

Hey.

Sorry, are you in the middle of something?

I can come back.

Oh, no, that's cool.

Cool.

Shit.

Now I'm here I feel stupid.

It's okay, Todd. What's going on?

It's just you're the only one I can

come to with this, you know?

With what?

Well, I read that the average age

to lose your virginity is 17.5 for boys

and 17.2 for girls, and I'm 17.5 and Leslie's 17.2

and we're both totally ready, you know?

And we just don't want it to be like

in the back of a car or something, so,

we were wondering if maybe Sunday after church service while you and your mom

are at Bible group we could maybe use your bed.

Oh.

You mad at me?

No.

For real?

Cool.

Thanks, man.

You're a really, really good friend, you know that?

I didn't say yes.

But you didn't say no either.

Thanks, Randy.

One soul saved, one soul saved

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me

I once was lost, but now I'm found

Was blind but now I see

Oh, yeah

One soul saved, yeah

One soul saved, one soul saved

One soul saved, all the angels rejoice

When there's one soul saved

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Oh, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

Oh, hallelujah, Lord, hallelujah

Oh, Lord, hallelujah, yeah

When there's one soul saved, yeah

Since Leslie's not feeling well today,

Randy would you start us off?

"But he said unto him, if the case of a man

be so with his wife, then it is not good to marry."

Randolph?

Randolph?

"But he said unto them, all men cannot

receive the same.

Save they to whom it is given."

Praise God.

It's just me.

I just came around to say thank you.

And I owe you one.

I'm sorry, Todd, but I'm really not gay.

It's okay, dude.

Neither am I.

Finally.

Check it out.

"No temptation has seized you

except what is common to man.

And God is faithful.

He would not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.

But when you are tempted, He will also

provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

Hey.

Hey.

Where you headed?

None of your business.

Want me to help speed up that business and give you a lift?

It wasn't that hard.

How's your mama?

She's, you know.

She got a doctor's appointment coming up.

You should take her.

I'd love to if she'd let me.

She still sing to you?

Sometimes, not often anymore.

Well, sometimes you got to swim down

from the surface to keep from drowning.

Sometimes you gotta get away so you

can come back stronger.

So you can survive.

Um, you can let me off up here.

'Cause I know who I am

And you know who you are

'Cause all it takes, love, is a little bit more love

And what we dream of isn't just made up

And we'll break free from the land of impossibilities

You lost?

Um, no.

Well, I'm looking for the...

Yeah, a little lost.

Maybe I can steer you in the right direction.

I'm here to audition for the student film project.

Would you happen to know where the

performing arts building might be?

Well guess where I'm heading?

You stay away from me or I'll scream, I mean it.

This place is deserted.

Scream all you want.

No, please, stop.

Please stop, stop, please stop.

Please stop.

Relax.

It'll be over before you know it.

Stop, somebody help!

Help please, stop!

And cut!

You guys, that was great.

You okay?

I didn't hurt you, did I?

No, just a little breathless.

Oh, you're breathless?

I am blown away.

Randy, needless to say, if you want this part,

you more than got it.

Please say you want it.

Of course he wants it, Libby.

You want it, don't you Randy?

Okay, Marshall, let's not scare our star away.

Randy, do you need a little time to think this over?

Can I have a word with you?

Sure.

What's on your mind, Randy?

The script seems really good,

and you all seem really nice.

But?

But I'm not gay.

You're not gay.

Marshall's not a rapist.

You're actors, Randy.

Fabulous actors.

And you two were made for each other.

Just say yes.

Say yes.

Say yes, Libby, I will be your star.

Yes.

Yes, yes, Randy!

Here are the directions and a form for your mama

to sign so she knows you're gonna get raped.

But it's all in the name of art, okay?

Okay, yes, Randy.

Oh, Marshall, I was thinking.

What about...

Need a lift?

Uh no, I'm cool.

The bus should be here any minute.

I promise not to molest you again.

It's gonna rain.

In that case, shouldn't you let your roof up?

I wasn't nervous.

Just freaked out?

But the further away from you the role is,

the greater the challenge, right?

Like you don't mind playing a gay rapist.

And you're not a gay rapist.

Well, not a rapist.

Huh?

Oh.

Yep.

Oh.

Can you work with an actor who isn't totally acting?

Sure.

We do have a love scene.

We're going to be getting up close and personal.

Can you handle the idea that

I might be involuntarily responsive?

Okay.

You know what, just tell me to shut up.

Okay, shut up.

But first, let me assure you that I am a professional

and while we are rehearsing and shooting

you're totally safe with me.

You might as well be a girl.

Now tell me to shut up.

Shut up.

You younguns, No respect.

Cool tree, I like the ribbons.

We're waiting for someone.

I hear that.

Thanks for the ride.

Do you say that to all the guys?

Just say that wherever Randolph may be

right now that you send Randolph home safe.

Hi, mom.

Hey, Pastor Crandall.

It's ten o'clock.

You could have called, Randolph.

I'm sorry, I rode into evening class

and just got a talking with the tutor.

Well, you do understand how your mother feels considering the circumstances.

I'm sorry.

Well, I'll leave you two in peace.

Thank you so much, pastor.

Any time.

- God bless you. - God bless you.

And I'll see you in choir rehearsal, Randolph.

Pastor Crandall, thank you.

Come here.

I really am sorry, mom.

Are you tired?

What?

Are you getting bored with God?

Mom, please.

It's okay.

I understand.

I've dreamed of releasing myself.

And I find myself wishing...

they would just tell me that she dead...

and bring me my baby's body

so I can kill myself.

But I can't give up.

I can't let go.

Mom, please don't cry.

I'll never stop crying, Randy.

I never stop praying,

waiting 'til they find my baby

or at least find out why we being punished.

So if you stay here or fly away like your daddy,

I'll still be right here waiting.

I may not be a wife anymore,

I may not even be a woman anymore,

but I'll never stop being a mother.

I will never stop being a mother.

I love you, mom.

Go to bed, Randy.

Just go to bed.

Go to bed.

Marshall?

I'm worried about you.

I just wanted to check you out.

I'm fine.

You're fine, all right.

So fine.

Hey y'all.

Is this a gay party or can a dirty straight boy join in?

Relax, Randy.

If it feels this good, it couldn't be a sin.

"Watch and pray that you may not

enter into temptation.

The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."

And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.

Have not saints lips and holy palmers too?

Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.

O then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do.

Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.

Then move not while my prayer's effect I take.

Thus far from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged.

Then have my lips the sin that they have took.

Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged.

Give me my sin again.

Bravo, bravo!

You kiss by the book.

What kind of girl likes seeing her boyfriend

get it on with other dudes?

- Me. - You don't count, freak.

I want to run an idea past you.

I think we should sleep together.

- Sleep together? - Have sex.

Fuck.

My virginity, your confusion.

- Two bitches, one stone. - One stop shopping.

Crystal, we can't sleep together, we're friends.

And friends help each other out.

My virginity is nothing but a curse.

But don't you want to save it for someone special?

- Men are never special. - Thanks.

You don't count, you're not a man, you're a Randy.

Why'd I want to save my precious virginity

for some drunken frat boy to brag about?

Not even, I'd rather give it to someone who would at least find it useful.

Crystal, I can't sleep with you.

Why not?

- Because he's so not gay. - Because you're Crystal.

And hot, thank you. I thought you were straight.

You're the only boy in school who doesn't want to fuck me.

Dude, even I want to fuck her.

See, gayer than a school gay boy.

I'm not about to have sex with anybody.

I don't need to prove anything to anyone.

Got it?

Subject closed.

Closed!

- Gay. - I heard that.

- What the heck are you doing? - Shooting

You're nuts.

- Do something. - What?

Do something crazy for the camera.

Be spontaneous.

Be nuts.

Say hey.

What are you talking about?

I love that you said heck.

Love that you never curse.

Love that you're so ripe and crisp.

You love a lot, don't you?

Dude.

You have no idea.

Uh, it's not going to get any greener.

Sorry.

So, how long you wanted to be an actor?

Since freshman year, when I started

taking drama in course.

What kind of movies do you want to make?

Not movies, films.

What's the difference?

Movies are about dreams.

Films are about truth.

What's wrong with the occasional dream?

I don't know, maybe nothing.

So, who's your favorite director?

John Cassavetes.

Who?

The father of American independent cinema.

He used his success as an actor to make

small personal films, a lot of them with his wife,

Gina Rowlands.

They were like this fierce pioneering Hollywood couple.

Like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

You are so cute.

So how come you're not macking out

in some big city film school?

Not everybody can afford the big city prices.

What about your folks?

What about them?

You got a little time?

I need to show you something, okay?

Okay.

What are we looking at?

Where I'm from.

Oh.

Okay.

Not all the white boys around here come from money, you know?

I guess.

You just don't look or sound like...

Trailer trash?

You still live here?

Still at home at 21.

You're 21?

You say in a way that kind of makes me feel old.

Go right ahead.

No, I just mean you act so...

You look so young.

I didn't mean anything by it, God bless.

God bless?

I bet you're in the choir, aren't you?

Yeah.

I'm so going to hell.

Why?

'Cause I have the hots for an underage choir boy.

Maybe this is hell.

I turn 18 this summer.

But you're straight.

Right.

God, I so want to kiss you right now.

Right outside your house?

You're right, it'd be even more fun inside.

Yeah, right.

Your parents would love that.

They're cool.

Rather that I was doing it in the safety of my room

than get busted by a cop up on the hill.

The hill?

Don't they teach you straight boys nothing?

What is this place?

Who are all these guys?

Welcome to Booty Hill.

Is this some kind of lover's lane?

Kinda.

Most of these lovers will pass each other on the street

tomorrow without a word like strangers in the light.

Really?

It's a small town.

Most of these guys are married or on the low.

And this is where you hang out?

Back when I was young and dumb and...

small town lonely, looking for a lover's lane.

Got to admit, the stars up here sure are something.

Wow.

Yeah.

Wow.

Get off me, man.

Dude, what part of no didn't you understand?

Fucking tease.

You all right?

Let's get you home, all right?

Guess you've gotten quite an education tonight, huh, choir boy?

I guess so.

You probably don't even go to church, do you?

In this burg, we all do.

It's a fucking town ordinance.

Got to go to church, got to believe.

Do you believe?

Am I allowed to believe and still be gay?

It's kind of a sin.

Is that what the preacher told you?

Ever try asking God yourself?

Have you?

Yep.

He said, "Marshall, you're all right."

I said, "Are you sure?

I have these weird feelings when I sit in college with cute boys."

God's like, "Who do you think made cute boys?"

I'm all, "You, right?"

And He said, "To break the hearts of boys like you."

So you do believe in God?

I do when I'm with you.

Sing.

What?

Sing, Randy.

Give me something to remember you by.

So years from now when you're fat and married

with six screaming kids that think daddy's God,

and I'm up on Booty Hill paying some desperate kid

$20 for a bad blowjob, that same song pop in my head.

I'll remember the night we went riding on a spring evening.

A lonely gay guy and a straight boy with

a voice that broke my heart.

Sweet hour of prayer

Sweet hour of prayer

The joy I feel

The bliss I share

Of those whose anxious spirits burn

With strong desires

For thy return

With such I hasten to the place

Where God my Savior

Chose his fate

And gladly take my station there

And wait for thee

Sweet hour of prayer

Wow. Like,

officially, wow.

Thanks.

"Parting is such sweet sorrow.

I shall say goodnight,

'Til there be a morrow."

"Sleep dwell upon thine eyes, peace in thy breasts.

Would I were peace and sleep, so sweet to rest."

Damn.

Straight to hell.

Crystal.

My house, Sunday after church.

Come on.

What do we have here?

Well?

Well, we're not virgins anymore.

Oh, my God, you skanks.

Hey, Randy, how's it feel to be a card carrying hetero?

Randy, oh, Randy. Shh.

Randy?

Randy, shh.

Honey, it's okay.

Shh.

It's okay.

Come here.

I got you, I got you.

They say when you're falling in love

You feel like it's sent from above

But no one can tell you just what

You feel when you're falling in love

I'm totally feeling confused

But when I don't know what to do

I pray to the heavens above

I say, what is this feeling?

Am I falling in love?

It's got me reeling

I just can't get enough

Lord, I'm trying to resist it

But it's so damn insistent

What is this feeling? Oh

Trying to embrace the word like my mother did

Or do I just kiss the wind like my father did

What is this feeling?

Am I falling in love?

Am I falling in love?

O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?

And what satisfaction canst thou have tonight?

The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine.

I gave thee mine before thou didst request it:

And yet I would it were to give again.

Wouldst thou withdraw it?

For what purpose, love?

But to be frank, and give it thee again.

And yet I wish but for the thing I have.

My bounty is as boundless as the sea,

My love as deep; the more I give to thee,

The more I have,

for both are infinite

Baby!

Well I guess that beard started to itch.

Oh, my God, Leslie's pregnant.

Hey.

I brought your school homework.

My father is driving me to Atlanta in the morning.

Can you believe?

There's not a single place in the entire

state of Mississippi where a woman can get a...

procedure.

There's a note.

It's from Todd.

Is there anything you want me to tell him?

What?

As boundless as the sea, my love as deep,

the more I give, the more I have, for both are infinite.

Tell him?

I promise.

I promise.

Every day.

Did she say anything else?

Did she say that she wants to do it?

She wants the abortion?

She didn't say she didn't.

As boundless as the sea...

All right, let's take it from Friar Lawrence's exit.

Action.

What's here?

A cup closed in my true love's hand?

Poison I see has been his timeless end.

O churl! Drunk all, and left no friendly drop

to help me after?

I will kiss thy lips.

Haply some poison yet doth hang on them

to make me die with the restorative.

Oh, shit.

A word, young people.

"Blessed is the man who remains

steadfast under trial, for when he has stood

the tests, he will receive the crown of life

which God has promised to those who love Him."

Leslie!

Leslie?

Leslie, baby, we need to talk.

Todd, Todd, oh.

Where you going?

Get back in this house.

I love you baby.

Get off my property!

Sir, I need to speak with you, please.

What you need to do is get on your knees

and pray for you soul, boy.

Will you pray with me?

Come on, please, please.

This is fucked up!

Fucked up bullshit!

Fucked up, fucked up, fucked up bullshit!

They hate me, man.

Her dad hates me, her whole family hates me

and soon enough the whole congregations going to fucking hate me.

Todd, whether or not they like you, you're the father of the baby.

They're going to have to talk to you eventually.

Even if it only is at the shotgun wedding.

I've already proposed.

Wrote her family a letter and not a word.

God, I hate this fucking town.

Todd, Todd, wait up.

Wow.

Heteros.

So fucking dramatic.

Efrem.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, peachy keen, why do you ask?

Is there anything you want to tell me?

Now that you mention it.

Would you take a look at my penis and tell me if it's okay?

Your what?

Efrem, I'm sure it's fine.

Would you just look?

What is that?

Help.

Fantasy, I think you lost your mind

Regardless of the outcome, so did I.

So, how long you two been friends?

Only all our lives.

I know that.

I was there, remember?

I meant friends.

Dad, we're not friends.

Randy's not gay.

Oh, okay.

What do you mean "okay"?

I mean if you were, I'm cool.

Oh, Dad, please.

Efrem Zimbliss Johnson?

Bingo.

Don't wait up, boys.

Do we need to get you tested too?

God, Dad.

I know, I know, I know, you're not gay.

But I know how it is, kids experiment, you know.

I mean, you ain't never kissed or anything?

Dad, gross.

Okay, well, I just gotta ask.

I kissed a boy once.

What?

Yeah, tongues and everything.

What are you talking about, when?

Before you were born, man, playing truth or dare.

Little Asian dude.

Kind of cute, actually.

I thought this is going to taste everything bad

about a man, you know?

Car oil, sweat, chewing tobacco.

Thought it would be flat out strange.

Matter of fact, it wasn't strange at all.

Kind of firmer than what I was used to,

but softer than I expected.

It was okay.

I never felt the urge to do it again,

but then again, I had your mom in my life, so I don't know.

Heck, imagine if mom knew.

She was the one that dared me.

Yeah, she'll say she don't remember,

but I recall her face like it was yesterday.

She was standing there laughing and all shocked.

She was into it.

Boy, God, your momma, man. That girl could laugh.

Mom watching you make out with a man?

Yeah.

Now I got the mental image.

I know I'll never make out with a guy.

So, do we have a little Something, something

going on with a girl at this time, what?

Crystal?

- No. - Well, you should.

Fine boy like you should have a whole lot of something, something going on.

I know, you don't wanna talk to me about this.

I just want you to remember that God

made no mistakes making you, even if I did.

Never disrespect God by being ashamed of His work.

What are you saying, Dad?

I am saying that you got a father you got, son,

and be your own man.

Ain't no preacher, your mama, me, can say what

it is to be a man, that's between you and God.

How am I supposed to know what God wants?

I keep asking and asking it's just like...

Well have you been listening and listening?

Or you been doing all the talking?

By the way, thank you.

For what?

Dragging you halfway across the state

on behalf of my diseased friend?

For calling me Dad.

I really miss hearing that.

Well, they gave me a jab in the ass,

not nearly as fun as it sounds, some antibiotics.

They gave you an HIV test, right?

All clear. Who knew?

Then you do know about safe sex, right?

Oh, yes, it's all my fault.

Efrem.

Hey, look here, I've known your dad a long time, man,

you want me to talk to him?

He thinks I'm being gay just to annoy him.

He's probably right.

Are you okay?

I wish you would quit fucking asking me that, man.

I'm running out of punchlines.

Don't forget your seatbelt.

Okay, let's get that boy home.

Okay.

I spit in your drink and expect you to think

Roads from here to hereafter may be frozen

The burning sensation, the revelation

Don't be fooled, I've been here before

I've done my part and you're gonna miss your cue

- Hey. - Hey.

Welcome to the third annual Forrest County,

Junior College, Student Film Festival, where our aspiring

artists get to air their sick, twisted visions of life

to their hopefully appreciative and equally

sick and twisted peer group.

That's y'all.

Now, allow me to sit down with you

and puke with jealousy, as we watch our first

fledgling visionaries piece of shit.

Work of art together, whatever.

Just roll the damn film.

When I first met you back in December

I think I thought I knew, I knew better

But now spring is around us

Feels like a change is really happening

and everything is possible, as you know by now

you have to surrender

Someday young friend, maybe this time

You could lose everything

And it will still be all right

Don't turn your back on love

Don't turn your back on love

'cause you can't turn back time

Marshall MacNeil, you get your ass up here.

What is this place?

It's where people like me come to be around

other people like me, where we can just be.

Be what?

Ourselves.

Try not to wonder

Where you are

Running on empty since we've been apart

So I'm writing to reach you

In the hope that my words might melt your heart

May I have this dance?

You love me and I love you

Please just tell me what to do

I would give my life to prove that

I won't break your heart

Don't you know, can't you see

This could be our destiny

'Cause together you and me, we'd be unstoppable

Can I ask you a question?

Are you gay yet?

Because tonight was awesome.

But I'm going out of my freaking mind here.

So, are you?

Gay, I mean?

I know I'm not straight yet.

That's a start.

How?

I had sex.

With a girl.

Sex?

Maybe she wasn't the right girl.

If there's a right girl, she's it.

Were you this confused?

At your age?

Worse.

It was only a few years back.

What changed things for you?

The right guy.

What did the right guy do?

What I'm going to do to you.

What's that?

You really want to know?

Yes.

What I'm going to do is...

I'm sorry.

Sorry.

Kiss me. Kiss me.

Oh, God, let me touch you.

Get your ass out of that car.

Mom! Mom, it's not what you think!

Shut up, what do you mean it's not what I think?

I should murder your nasty ass.

You're going to the bottom of hell.

Randy, when I get you, I swear to God, you out here

doing that like that. You still going to try to see him?

Get in that house, get in that house.

You will not be out here with that sickness,

acting like no damn priest.

So, now we know.

Now we know why we're being punished.

Chrissie is the price we pay for your sin,

for your sin and your weakness.

Randy, how could you?

How could you be so selfish?

And you know the Lord is watching us.

You know we being tested.

But so what, so what?

You still indulge in your depravity.

I'm ashamed of you, Randy.

Before God you have shamed us.

I cannot believe you crawl forth from my body

into this Earth to fornicate frivolously

like a craven beast.

Am I to have no children.

Is that my fate, to lose the both of you?

Mom, I'm sorry.

Don't you do that.

Don't you do that, don't you tell me you sorry when you not.

When you standing there still stinking of him

and thinking of him, wondering is he thinking of you.

Trying to figure out when you're going

to see him next, aren't you?

Aren't you?

Yes.

You disgust me.

But you will never, never make me give up my family.

And you gonna stand there and cry

like a fucking punk?

You are the reason why they took my baby.

God, please just tell me, just tell me.

Just tell me, tell me what you need me to do.

Tell me what you need me to do, God,

because no, he can't even beat it.

He can't beat it, he can't beat it.

God, he can't beat it.

Please, my baby, please.

One second, Mom.

Hello, Randolph.

Pastor Crandall.

May I come in?

Interesting room.

Very creative.

I like the colors.

Thanks.

Mom and Dad gave me free reign to

decorate up here how I like.

The blue reminds me of the sky.

Sometimes when I'm lying down looking up,

it's like I can imagine what it must really

feel like to fly.

Tell me.

How long have you been struggling?

Struggling?

With these unnatural desires.

I don't know, sir.

All my life.

As long as I can remember.

I thought I could ignore it, bury it.

But I get these dreams.

Dreams.

Do you want to be normal, Randolph?

Yes, yes I do.

Now, only the Lord can cast out these unclean spirits, these demons.

You think I'm possessed?

I believe there's something lurking in you.

Are you talking about exorcism?

He's talking about deliverance.

Are you ready for deliverance, Randolph?

Yes, yes I am.

Please, save me.

Lord Jesus, we pray for your power,

for your great healing power.

Lord God, we are prepared to stay as long as it takes

to cleanse this young child.

- Oh, please, Heavenly Father. - Almighty God.

Look down upon this your child and heal him.

Heal my Randy, Father

Cleanse him, almighty God.

Deliver him from the ungodly sinful forces

that have held him captive, that have

held him in bondage against these unnatural desires.

Oh, please, Father.

Deliver this, your poor sinful soul

from the bondages of unclean spirits.

Deliver him, this is your child, Father God.

This poor sinful servant from the bonds

of unnatural feelings.

Look down upon this your child and have mercy.

Mercy Lord, mercy, please.

Remove this sin.

As boundless as the sea, my love as deep.

The more I give, the more I have, for both are infinite.

Save him, Lord, save him.

Oh, thank you, Jesus.

Yes, God.

Lord God.

Where's Leslie?

Where's Leslie?

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, baby, no!

Oh, my God, what happened?

Oh, my God.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding."

I dream these dreams from the darkness in between

But I hope that I am not the only one

Hi.

Is Marshall here?

It's okay, Mom.

This is the guy I was telling you about.

This is Randy.

Take my dark, take my light

Take my freedom and my flight

Take out all my reasons wrong

And make them right

Take my night, take my day

Take my cold and bitter ways

Take it all from me, just promise that you'll stay

Oh,

I love you.

Wait.

He says, "It's okay."

God's here?

God's here.

"Whoever does not love does not know God,

because God is love."

Mom?

Mom?

It's okay, Randy.

Everything is okay. They found her.

She's coming home.

She's coming home.

My baby's coming home.

Chrissie?

Mom, Dad.

This is Marshall.

My... my boyfriend.

Sir.

Good to meet you, man.

Great to meet you.

Ma'am.

They're here.

Chrissie.

Chrissie.

Chrissie.

Chrissie.

All right, all right.

Thank you, God.

Turns out Chrissie had been living

with a family in Arkansas the whole time.

Some woman who couldn't have kids snatched her

and was raising her as her own.

Mom says since God brought Chrissie back

home to us, it wasn't my fault after all.

"God is love," she said.

"God is love."

- Hey. - Hey.

What's up, dude?

Todd, what's going on?

Just came around to say goodbye.

Goodbye?

And thank you for being a good Christian brother to me.

Todd, where are you going?

How's it going with Marshall?

Marshall?

Seems like a totally cool guy.

You've never met Marshall, Todd.

Sometimes I'm kind of jealous of him.

Jealous?

Would have been kind of cool, wouldn't it?

I could have loved you the way he does.

I know that's what you wanted.

I kind of wanted it too, but it was Leslie.

Leslie.

So beautiful.

I'm so sorry, Todd.

You don't have nothing to be sorry for, dude.

You must miss her so much.

I used to. It was hard.

But it's okay now.

I should go.

Where you going?

You know where, dude.

I have to get back to Leslie.

- She's waiting for me. - Todd!

Shh, you'll wake yourself.

That's Marshall.

Dude, I know your parents like the guy,

but he ain't sleeping over yet.

I don't get this.

It's only been a couple months since they met him.

I don't get this.

What is this?

You know what this is, dude.

You don't want to know, but you know.

This has been the same dream you've had for the past two months.

Remember?

I drove my bike under the train the week after Leslie died.

You sang at the funeral, it was beautiful.

Your sister ran away twice.

But she's starting to settle down now.

Your dad moved back home again,

and it's not working out too well right now, but it'll be okay eventually.

They'll make it.

You'll move to Los Angeles with Marshall.

You'll both fall in love with other people.

You'll remain lifelong friends who everybody

knows should be together.

Crystal will move to New York and you'll lose touch.

Efrem will move to LA, go through tattoos,

steroids, and a crystal meth addiction.

And he'll admit on his deathbed that he's always been in love with you.

One day you'll write a movie about all of this.

Marshall will direct it and you'll watch

your memories on screen and realize...

"Wow, we were so young."

And you'll be right.

We were.

You should get back to sleep now, before you wake up.

You've got a crazy big life ahead of you

and you're going to need all the rest you can get.

It's okay.

Marshall's still there.

Hey.

Want me to come lie down with you a while?

Just 'til you fall asleep?

Would you?

This is your dream, dude.

But now my heart is on its way

And so I feel that I should say

That you could be my only fate

Randy, boy get your black behind down here.

You're going to miss breakfast.

Just let him know I don't like him.

You want another pancake?

- Yes please. - There you go.

Ah, nice of you to join us, sleeping beauty.

Is it too much to ask to have my family at the table all at once?

"Love is patient, love is kind,

it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud,

it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered.

It keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes,

always perseveres.

Love bears all things, believes all things,

hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends."

Tell that white boy to stop blowing

that horn in front of my house.

This ain't the projects.

Later, Mr. Rousseau.

Bye, Dad.

Bye, Dad.

Move, freak.

There is light at the end of this tunnel

And the rain will cease to fall

Moving right along might be right or should be wrong

And my soul will cease to fall

There is light at the end of this tunnel

And my soul will cease to fall

It feels like a pleasant surprise

Whenever I look in your eyes

I know what I want it to be

Whenever you look at me

I say there's something so special in you

I feel like you're feeling it too

now I want to know what's in store

I never knew love before you

Say you're totally crushing on me

Well I got a crush on you too

You know it's true my baby got me saying

What is this feeling

Am I falling in love

It's got me reeling

I just can't get enough

Lord, I'm trying to resist it

But it's so damn insistent

What is this feeling, Oh,

Don't know anything about love

But I'm trying to find out what you're made of

When you say that you love me

What is this feeling

Am I falling in love

It's got me reeling

I just can't get enough

Lord I'm trying to resist it

But it's so damn insistent

What is this feeling, Oh,

What is this feeling

Am I falling in love

It's got me reeling, yeah

I can't get enough

Lord, I'm trying to resist it

But it's so damn insistent

What is this feeling

What

I don't know

Which way to go

I can't resist wanting your kiss

What is this feeling, Oh,

I don't know

I don't know

Trying to embrace the word like my mother did

Or do I just kiss the wind like my father did

What is this feeling

Am I falling in love

Am I falling in love