Original subtitles

Ride along with the heroes of 9-1-1 Lone Star.

Let's show 'em what we got!

See all-new episodes Mondays.

And check out our other Fox programs--

Prodigal Son, 9-1-1 and Deputy.

You need three things to do this job--

a badge, a gun and what's in your heart.

ANNOUNCER: Only on Fox.

MAN: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Something's not right.

Is it getting hot in here?

Or is it just me?

[crowd cheering]

[Nelly's "Hot in Herre"]

NELLY: ♪ Hot in

♪ So hot in here

♪

♪ So hot in

♪

WOMAN: Whoo!

NELLY: ♪ Oh

♪

♪ With a little bit of uh, uh ♪

♪ And a little bit of uh, uh ♪

♪

♪ Just a little bit of, just a little bit of ♪

Swear to God,if this chick hits me

with her "look-at-me" wandone more time,

I'm gonna deck her.

-Or we could just leave. -No way.

If I have to turn 30, eight-pack abs are my present.

[crowd cheering]

EMCEE: Tiffany, it's time to get up onstage

before you get hitched.

NELLY: ♪ And, uh, I'm leaving ♪

-♪ Please believe in -Hey, we can't see!

NELLY: ♪ Me and the rest of my heathens ♪

Y'all deaf, down in front?

NELLY: ♪ Penthouse, rooftop, birds I'm feeding ♪

Back off.It's her day.

Actually, it's my birthday.

Aww, happy birthday, Grandma.

NELLY: ♪ Dance floor, it's getting hot in here ♪

[people shouting]

Cool off, bitch.

[gasps]

Oh, no, you don't.

Whoa.

All right, Paul, Marjan,why don't you work the crowd,

see if you can treatsome of these people

to lighten the loadfor medical.

-Probie! -MATEO: Yes, sir?

Check the champagne room.

Always something bad going on up there.

-How would you know that? -That is not important.

Make a hole. Make a hole.

[both whimpering]

Stop moving, bitch!

You have to let go of my hair!

Ladies, ladies,you need to calm down,

and you gotta stay still.

I thought these crowns were supposed to be

made out of plastic.

It's a tiara, not a crown,

and it's platinum.

I don't do plastic!

You are plastic.

Is this tiara woveninto your scalp?

Yes, I paid my stylist $285

to do it like Princess Meghan.

-So yes! -All right.

We're gonna have to cut this out.

Shears.

No, no, no. You can't cut my hair!

My wedding's in three days. -[Cheyenne screams]

-[both whimpering] -TK: Oh, God.

[Cheyenne screams]

-[Tiffany whimpers] -[Cheyenne yelping]

[curious music]

How did this happen, exactly?

I tried to break up the fight,

and some crazy chickblasted me with a glitter hose.

[Paul laughs]

Well, uh, lucky for you,

I have extensive glitter removal training.

[chuckles]

It's gonna be a little cold, okay?

[Josie laughs]

♪

Ready?Here it comes.

Great.You're doing great.

-[Josie winces] -PAUL: Enough of that.

All right, we're gonna open your eyes on three, okay?

-[Josie laughs] -One, two, three.

♪

How do you feel?

Perfect.

That's great.

♪

Uh, um, amazing work, Captain.

Well, thank you, "Captain."

♪

[dramatic music]

♪

WOMAN [over PA]: Dr. Shriver to NICU.

Dr. Steven Shriver, please report to NICU.

[machine beeping]

TK.

You need something?

I got peppermint oil or, uh, saltines,

ginger chews, um, headphones...

You're freaking out.

I'm not freaking out.

I'm kind of freaking out.

[soft music playing]

-It's okay. -[TK exhales heavily]

I was too the first time.

[indistinct chatter over PA]

Hey.

Thanks for being with me.

Of course.

I can't believe you've been dealing

with everything on your own.

To juggle it with the job, that's insane.

It's been a lot, but...

♪

Oof.

You nauseous?

I will be when the advice starts.

Captain Strand, good to see ya.

How you doing?

All right. Good to see ya.

This is TK, my boy.

Oh, so you finally came clean.Good for you.

Howdy.Wayne Gettinger.

Hi.

You got your pop's QB-1 looks.

[chuckles] Lucky boy.

Oh, hey, let's do the left side today, Jan.

I wanna visit with my friends, okay?

So TK, you local?

Uh, or are you just coming to visit the old man?

We work together.

-Oh, you're a firefighter too? -Yes, sir.

Boy, the trouble you must get up to, huh?

[chuckles]Austin, lock up your daughters.

[laughs]

Actually, I play for the other team.

WAYNE: Oh.

"Lock up your sons" don't sound quite right, does it?

Heh.

Aw, hell, I don't judge.

Important thing is, we play when we can.

Ain't that right, Captain? Huh?

'Cause Lord knows we don't get out on the playing field much.

Uh, speak for yourself, Coach. I get on the field plenty.

Oh, now, you don't have to puff up for me.

I mean, there's no shame in it.

I have no idea whatyou're talking about right now.

Wait. [sighs] What are you talking about?

Well, the treatment that we get here can...

[sighs] Well, it can, uh...

make the "little soldier,"

let's say, um...

Take an extended furlough.

[laughs]

There's nothing wrong with my little soldier.

Perfectly healthy and active.

It's a patriot...

and always ready to stand at attention.

Yeah, may seem like that now, but... [sighs]

Don't be too shocked if a day comes real soon

and it turns out to be a deserter.

Okay, I'll take those headphones.

TK: Mm-hmm.

[mellow rock music]

SINGER: ♪ Yeah, we'll make it somehow ♪

[birds chirping]

Judd is gonna be so upsethe missed you guys.

He had a shift, though.

Don't they always?[chuckles]

How you two holding up, though?

[sighs]We have good days and bad.

She misses her daddy.

-Yeah, we both do. -GRACE: Mm.

[laughs]

It was so good--

so good--to see Judd back with the 126.

How is he getting on with that fancy new captain?

-Um... -[both laugh]

It was a rough start,

but Captain Strand has beenvery supportive.

That's good. Good.

Yeah, and he forced Juddinto therapy.

-My goodness. -Mm-hmm.

What's that like, I wonder?

It might be helping.

But, I mean,

though he's still not...

well, never mind.

-What? -Mm-mm. No.

No, what?

Nothing.

No, it's-- it's definitely something.

[sighs]

[solemn music]

♪

He's just been distant.

♪

And, you know,I'm trying to be patient,

but it's been a minutesince we were intimate.

So...how many minutes are we talking about, exactly?

Since the accident.

♪

Four months' worth of minutes?

No, Grace.

No, you need to grab this bull by the horns

and you need to fix this.

-I mean now. -Okay.

Colleen, things cool downin marriages, don't they?

Yeah, normally after you have kids,

and at this rate, you never will.

Hi.

MABEL: Here's your bracelet.

Thank you, sweet pea.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Is Aunt Grace gonna ride a bull?

-No, no, no, no-- -If she knows

what's good for her, mm-hmm.

Okay, and this--

see, this grape juiceis not good for Mama.

Okay.

[rock music]

♪

Hi.

-JOSIE: Hey. -Can I help you?

Yeah, I'm looking for Paul.

[calling] Strickland?

PAUL: Yo!

You got a visitor.

What?

♪

[bluesy music]

Hey.

Hey!

It's, uh--it's Josie, right?

You remembered.

Yeah.Heh.

Yeah, you, um--

you never forget a lady's name

after you've flushed stripperglitter out of her eyes.

[both laugh]

They're beautiful, by the way.

Your eyes.

♪

I mean, without allthe s-stripper glitter in 'em.

I hope you don't mind me popping in like this.

I just wanted to thank you

for helping me and my stupid friends.

[laughs]

Stupid friends are what keepsthe lights on around here.

[laughs] Well, this is from Cooper's.

It is the best smoked brisket on the planet.

Uh, you're not a vegan?

No, ma'am.Meat eater.

Good. You never know these days.

No, no, you do not.[chuckles]

So thank you again.

Sure, yes.Uh, and--and thank you.

Okay.

Oh, and let me know what you think.

I left my number inside the basket.

So you can just text me or whatever.

No, yeah, I'll--I'll do that.

[mouthing]

PAUL: Thank you.

Yeah. [laughs]

BOTH: Bye.

[quietly] Yeah, Paul! You stud.

Pow, pow, pow.

[whispers] Shut up, shut up, shut up.

[imitates dance music]

[snickers]

[T. Rex's "Get It On"]

[bluesy rock music]

♪

[sucks teeth]

Uh, I wouldn't use that one.

-What? -I'm sorry.

It's--it's not my place.

BOLAN: ♪ Clad in black, don't look back ♪

But that is just gonnacarpet bomb your pores

with humectants.

And the next stop isbreakout city,

and believe me,I've been there.

I don't think I've ever heard a man use

the word "humectants."

[chuckles] Well, skin care'skind of my jam.

-Owen. -Zoe.

BOLAN: ♪ You're dirty, sweet

So help me out.

I need something for these bags.

-You mean like a microscope? -[forced laugh]

That's so sweet.

It's also a lie.

I was up two nights straight grading midterms.

So...

Well, um, with your skin tone,

I wouldn't botherwith concealer.

I would go right to the spoons.

-Spoons? -Yeah, spoons.

You know, you put a spoonin the freezer overnight,

and in the morning,you rub it here.

It reduces the fluidunder your eye,

and the cold takes awaythe puffiness.

You look supple and fresh.

Does that really work?

Proof's in the pudding.

Would you believeI'm coming off a 24-hour shift?

You're a doctor?

Firefighter.

So, wow. You're perfect.

Well...

Why don't they make straight ones like you?

-Um... -BOLAN: ♪ Get it on

♪ Bang a gong

♪ Get it on

♪

♪ Get it on

♪ Bang a gong, get it on

♪

[moans softly]

♪ Get it on

♪ Bang a gong, get it on

[dog barking distantly]

Wow, I don't even know what to say.

You don't need to say anything.It happens.

Not to me, it doesn't.

Do you really have to go?

Well, it's been, like, three hours,

and I'm--I'm kind of starving.

You wanna maybe grab a bite to eat with me?

Nah, I don't havemuch of an appetite.

You're spiraling.

Oh, I'm spiraling.

Well, you really don't have to.

A--an occasionalfailure to launch

doesn't mean anything.

It happens to every man.

It has literally never happenedto me.

All right, listen, I knowthat men of a certain age,

it's common for you guysto define your manhood

in very narrow terms.

Yeah, in the terms of their manhood.

But that--that is notan evolved paradigm.

The more rigidly you view it,

the more pressure you puton yourself.

If you could avoid using words like "rigid,"

that might be helpful.

[laughs]

Masculinity doesn't haveto be performative.

It's much more expansivethan that.

It's about how you--how you approach life.

It's about howyou perceive yourself.

And to tell you the truth,this kind of stuff gets fixed

usually if you justrelax and do nothing.

So what are you?Are you, like, a sex therapist?

I'm a professor of psychology

with a focuson human sexuality.

Glad you didn't tell me that before.

That would have gotten in my head.

[exhales sharply]

I'm sorry you're taking thisso hard.

Again, another word you might wanna avoid.

Owen, I like you. I do, okay?

I don't usually jump into bed with a guy I met

at the beauty supply store who I thought was gay.

And to be clear, I am not.

I really hope this isn't the last time we meet.

Are you sure you don't wanna grab a bite with me?

I'm buying.

I think I gotta take a rain check.

[quirky music]

♪

Masculinity is not a crime.

PROTESTORS: Masculinity is not a crime!

Masculinity is not a crime.

This so-called "shelter" uses taxpayer dollars

to commit fraud.

False accusations of domestic violence

smears men and destroys families.

You have to arrest them!

The women inside the shelter have been traumatized enough.

I understand, ma'am.

If you could just stand back, we'd appreciate it.

[crowd shouting]

Masculinity is not a crime.

Sir, I'm gonna need you to put down the bullhorn, please.

-We're not breaking any laws. -No one said you did.

We just need to have a lookat your permit.

-My what? -Your permit to assemble.

It's called the Bill of Rights.

Actually, it's called an L7-B parade permit.

This is bull crap.

-CARLOS: Sir-- -Masculinity is not a crime.

Sir, I'm asking you kindly to disperse--

Ow!Don't touch me.

-I know my rights. -I get that, b--

Ow!

[tense music]

-Who threw that bottle? -[crowd shouting]

-MCCOY: Back up. Back up. -Sir? Sir?

Everybody, back up! Back up!

Dispatch, we need an EMS response

at 2400th block of Goya.

Patient was struck with bottle,appears to be having a seizure.

[dramatic music]

[sirens wailing]

What are we walking into here?

Dispatch said somethingabout a riot.

Protest.

It's a women's shelter.What are they protesting?

Women. They're incels.

Involuntary celibates.

That's a thing?

We used to just call them "losers."

Prince Charming heretook a bottle to the head,

was out for a minute or two,

but he has woken upin rare form.

MICHELLE: Check his ABCs and get his vitals.

Lady coworker. Lady boss.

You stink like estrogen, bro.

You stink like garlic,so I guess we're even, bro.

His pupil response is good.

He's tachycardiac, and I'm detecting

Cheyne-Stokes respiration.

Let's get him on the boardand load him up.

Ow!

CARLOS: He did the exact same thing

when I barely touched him earlier.

Sir, do you have any medical conditions

we should know about?

I have CPPD.

You heard him.Be gentle.

CPPD?

Painful crystal depositson the joints.

It's like severe arthritis.

[groaning]

Toxic inside and out.

CRAIG: Masculinity's not a crime.

PROTESTORS: Masculinity is not a crime!

What'd this guy eat for lunch, a clove of garlic?

We should administer a breath mint.

-[oxygen hissing] -[slurring] I heard that.

What's your name? I'm gonna report you.

[mumbles]

BP's dropping.

Not detecting respiration.

Start CPR. I'll ready the paddles.

[electricity buzzes]

-Clear. -[machine beeps]

[exhales deeply]

Jeez, man what a stink. God.

[exhales deeply]

♪

MICHELLE: Gillian?

I don't think that's garlic.

Tim!

Tim, pull over!

-[tires screech] -[objects crashing]

♪

[suspenseful music]

[sirens wailing]

[horn honks]

What do you got?

Blake and her team arestuck in there.

There's some toxic fumes,

couldn't get 'em out.

He almost passed out. I don't know why.

Captain Blake?

Yeah, she's in there with her team

and a patient they weretrying to transport.

PD got here first,

but they couldn't getclose enough

to pull anybody out 'causethey got hit with toxic fumes

and it knocked them off their feet.

♪

All right, hazmat protocols,everybody.

BAs go on and stay on.

Marjan, get the detector.

Mateo, TK, get the extraction equipment.

-Officer Reyes... -Yes, sir?

-Clear those people out now. -Yes, sir.

[ominous music]

♪

OWEN: Looks likethey're still breathing.

JUDD: What do you think, it's carbon monoxide?

MARJAN: It's not detecting any CO.

♪

[detector squeaking]

Some kind of sulfate, 500 PPM.

JUDD: Where's it coming from?

I think it's coming from him.

-[detector squeaks] -It is.

All right, everybody,

let's secure this patientand get her out of there.

Captain...

I'd appreciate if you start with my team first.

He won't mind. He's dead.

♪

[car horn honks, traffic buzzes]

[machine beeps]

-[monitor beeping] -[knocks]

CARLOS: Hey, chica.

Can I come in?

You better.

Doctors said that they weregonna keep you here

for a few days for observation.

Oh, great.

So I brought you some clothes,

a couple Harry Potters,

and some peanut butter M&Ms.

[gasps] My hero.

[chuckles]

They're sayingthey still don't know

what caused your guyto become a human WMD.

I think I might.

Me.

The signs were in front of me the whole time.

Some arthritis medicines are sulfide-based.

They have a sort of a garlicky smell.

When we put him on O2 and used the defibrillators,

we must have triggered some sort of a chemical reaction

that converted the sulfides to sulfates.

And--and basically,

I created a poison cloud inside of the guy.

How were you supposed to knowany of that?

Because it's my job to.

[somber music]

I've been so wrong about so many things.

I can't start to be wrong on the job too.

♪

Why do I feel likewe're not talking

about toxic guy anymore?

Is this about Iris?

♪

She was going through something, Carlos, and...

I couldn't see it.

Or I chose not to.

♪

My sister had secrets.

♪

I found this in my mom's shed the night of the tornado.

The blue pickup truck.

A blue pickup truck.

I don't recognize any of those faces.

♪

But maybe it'ssomething to go on.

I'll look into it.

WOMAN [over PA]: Paging Dr. Bender.

Paging Dr. Bender.

Thank you.

[phone dinging]

[upbeat rock music]

Hey, Paul, your phone's blowing up.

It's that Josie girl.

She's got it bad.

Never peep another man's phone,

Probie.

So you're just gonna ghost her?

Wait, I'm confused.

She's hot, single, and she's into you.

It's like she's just waiting for you to ask.

Why don't you?

-That's a fair question. -Look, we're texting.

And she's cool.

Like, extremely cool.

Like, almost too-good-to-be-true cool.

So why wouldn't you ask her out?

Well, maybe I wanna enjoy the fantasy of what could be

before reality inevitably findsa way to disappoint.

That's grim.

Yeah, that's easy for you to say,

Mr. Charmed Existence.

When was the last time

you tasted stone-cold rejection?

-[weights bang] -[clears throat]

116 days ago...

when I asked my soul mate to marry me,

and he moved in with his trainer instead.

That's rough.

-I'm sorry. -Damn, bro.

Damn, bro.

Yeah, that was not my best day.

But everybody gets kicked in the head.

You gotta get up and try again.

And also, the lady hand-delivered you a brisket.

I'm pretty sure that's a guaranteed yes.

One, two, three. [grunts]

Yeah, maybe for the first date.

The scary part is landing that second one.

MATEO: I mean, you're cool, ripped,

and a firefighter.

I mean, in my experience,

everybody wants seconds of that.

Well, I appreciate that, Probie,

but things are a little bit more complicated for me.

'Cause you don't know how she'll react

when she finds out that you're trans.

Yeah, I usually meet women on dating apps.

You know, everything's in the profile, no surprises.

So get it out there. Just tell her.

PAUL: Oh, now that's the risky part.

When it comes to sharing something that personal,

kind of gotta go by the rule of threes.

Oh, like famous people, how they always die in threes.

No, man. No.

I gotta assume that for everyone person that I've told,

I've actually told three,

because people can't helpbut to tell somebody else.

Straight, gay, bi, trans...

dating sucks, all right?

There's no way around it.

So take her out, analyze the risk,

and if it feels safe, take the leap.

SINGER: ♪ Been so long

Hey, something smells good.

[romantic music]

Well, welcome home, husband.

JUDD: Look at you.

Mmm-mmm!

What's today?

-It's Monday. -JUDD: Uh-huh.

Am I forgetting something?

Yeah, your manners.

You're not gonna say anything about this new dress?

-Oh, yeah. -[laughs]

Look, hey, whatever it costs,

-it was worth every penny. -Mm-hmm.

-For you. -Roast on Monday.

That's a treat. You got twice-baked potato.

With chives and real bacon.

You know, Mrs. Ryder,if I didn't know any better,

uh, I'd think you was tryingto seduce me.

♪

Are you--are you serious?

[scoffs]

Well, I had to do something to get your attention, Judd.

I'm not gonna meet you at the door

dressed in cellophane.

Now I'm just tryingto picture that.

Please don't.

♪

-Hey. -[dishes clinking]

Wha--why you mad?

-I'm not mad. -No, you're mad.

No. I am frustrated, though.

And I'm hurt.

You're hurt.

-Well, what'd I do? -It's not what you did, Judd.

It's what you don't do.

You don't look at me. You never touch me.

-Look-- -No, let me finish.

When we first got married, sweetheart,

you couldn't keep your hands off of me.

We couldn't keep our hands off of each other...

♪

Even after a 24-hour shift.

Especially after a 24-hour shift.

Do you even know how long it's been

since we've been intimate?

Of course I know how long it's been.

You wanna throw it in my face?

I'm not throwing anything in your face.

You know everything that I'm going through.

[stammers] Yeah, I'm so...

just out of sortswith my own feelings, you know?

It ain't about you.

And that's the problem.

It's never about me.

And maybe it should be, Judd, at least some of the time.

I have needs too,

even if you don't feel up to it.

Grace...hang on.

No, this dress is coming off. It's itchy.

♪

[engine revving]

ANDY: $15,000? That's highway robbery.

I'm sorry, but that is the price.

It wasn't the pricethe last time

I brought Jericho in hereto sell you a batch.

Not to be cruel, Andy, but the last time

you had Jericho in here,

that bull was alive and kickin'.

Now that he's passed,

his stuff is worth a good deal more.

Lookit, he's moved already to the top shelf.

ANDY:Still can't believe he's gone.

DEREK: Jericho was one premium stud.

Please, Mr. Poole.

$10,000 for one straw.It's all I got.

I'm sorry, Andy, I can't go a dime below 15 for a straw.

Simple case of supply and demand.

Now that the supply is gone,

the demand for the seed of a championship bull

like Jericho would be through the roof.

Jericho wasn't just livestockto me.

I--I raised him upfrom a calf.

He had soul.

The love you feel for that animal is touching, son.

But I did not get to be the top stud supplier

in the lower 48 by making emotion-based decisions.

Now you head on out of here.

Have yourself a nice night.

[exhales deeply]

[dog barking]

[dramatic music]

[dogs barking]

♪

Only thing you have to do ismake you get

Bill Anderson's order readyto go out before--

[worker stammers in shock]

We got fire!

Harley,get the fire extinguisher!

Go!

Andy!

♪

[sirens wailing]

[suspenseful music]

♪

Dispatch, tell medical we have civilians on scene

and prep for minor injuries.

GRACE [over radio]: Copy that, 126.

EMS is en route.

[explosion booms]

TK: Hey, whoa.

All right, everyone, fall back!

-Fall back! -[cracking, booming]

♪

[echoing] Fall back! Fall back!

OWEN: Judd!

Whoa, whoa, Judd.

All right, there.Take a breath, Judd.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm good.Good to go.

Take cover!

[booming continues]

Dispatch, we have explosions

and steel cans raining down on us.

What exactly do they store in this facility?

It's a breeding facility, Captain.

Ranchers take their cows thereto be artificially inseminated.

So my guess is bull stuff.

-Bull stuff? -MATEO: Get down!

[booms]

Yeah, they freeze the deposits

in liquid nitrogen.

With all the heat, the gas inside must be expanding.

So...

What the hell are those things?

Hot loads of bull stuff.

[laughs]

Oh, hey, welcome to Texas![laughs]

GRACE: Captain, the owner of the facility,

he said there's a visitor stuckin the storage room.

Roger that.

Captain, no!

♪

All right.

We got somebody trapped in there.

TK, Marjan, Paul, get on those lines now!

Mateo, you're their spotter.

-Their spotter, sir? -Yes!

-There's another one! -Just like that.

Hey!

-You good to go? -Hell yeah, I'm good to go.

[laughing]

You think it's funny?

I mean, yeah, don't you?

I'm just trying to picturemy obituary.

[tense music]

♪

OWEN: All right, we're in the main building.

Captain, be advised.

I'm told the man you're looking for

likely started the fire.

You have any idea where we should be looking?

"Last seen in the storage room,

rear of the facility, southwest side."

Roger that. We're headed in.

JUDD: He's not over here, Cap.

[dramatic music]

These things are flying all over the place!

-[booms] -OWEN: Whoa, watch out.

[clangs, thudding]

JUDD: He's not over here, Cap.

[glass shatters]

[ominous music]

[booms, crashes]

[glass shatters]

♪

OWEN: There he is.He's over there.

He must have passed outbecause of the smoke.

All right, Judd, we gotta get him up.

Take cover!

-[glass shatters] -[firefighter shouts order]

[booming]

[glass shatters]

[thuds]

OWEN: All right, deep breaths.

Calm down. Calm down.

We're here to get you out.

-ANDY: I can't leave him. -JUDD: Hey, hey, hey, Cap.

ANDY: Jericho! -JUDD: Cap!

ANDY: No, no, no! I can't leavewithout my canister.

-OWEN: Get him out of here! -JUDD: Come on!

ANDY: Jericho!

OWEN: We don't have time. We gotta get you out of here.

ANDY: Jericho! No, no, no.

You don't understand. I've just gotta grab that can.

Jericho!

[flames roar]

JUDD: All right, there, buddy.Come over here and have a seat.

♪

Should have left me in there.

I'm sorry, partner, but nobody dies today.

-[booms] -Incoming!

♪

[booms]

That's gotta be Jericho.

He always had the most powerful stuff.

Apparently so.

[laughing]

♪

Okay, looks like

your ultrasound came back negative

and your testosterone levels are perfect.

Good.Good.

So it--it's--it's not the chemo?

No, it definitely could be the chemo

or it could be psychological

or it could be just one of those things.

"One of those things"?Doc, this is thething.

I--I really need your help.

Well, problem is, with your cancer treatments,

I can't prescribe the traditional ED pills.

I am not leaving herewithout a solution.

Well, in that case,

I do have something that might fix your problem.

But I have to warn you,

it's not for the faint of heart.

Doc, I put out fires for a living.

Try me.

Okay.

Full disclosure, I am on the board of the company,

but it's a miracle drug.

And it's a local application, so it shouldn't interact

with other medications in your system.

-It's called Phalluxis. -Sign me up.

Uh, how exactly do you administer that?

Now, I know it looks scary,

but I'll walk you through it.

Now when the mood is right,

what you wanna do is swab down the unit like so

with an alcohol pad.

Trust me, you don't want an infection down there.

Uh, no, I really don't.

Then you just take this,

draw it up--uh-huh--then, turn the unit to the side...

[syringe clicks]

And inject it just above the base,

empty the plunger, and then just hold it firm,

steady pressure for a good four or five minutes.

-Four or five minutes. -DR. GRAY: Yep.

Oh, and make sure you don't squeeze it funny or sideways,

because you run the risk of curvature.

[curious music]

Curvature?

Yeah, believe me, that is a bad scene.

And if you experience severe pain

or uncontrolled bleeding, call 9-1-1.

Oh, that would go over well.

[pins clatter]

-PAUL: Really? -Oh!

-Thank you, thank you. -And Josie strikes again.

[laughs] It was just lucky.

-It was just my lucky day. -Yeah, okay.

You know, this was supposedto be a date, not a hustle.

[Josie laughs]

But it's the fourth frame.

You still got timeto catch up.

-Stop whining. -Oh, okay.

-[pins clatter] -Maybe.

[Hopeton Lewis' "Take it Easy"]

LEWIS: ♪ No slipping, no sliding ♪

Oh. Uh...

The smirk is unnecessary.

I did not smirk.

-You totally smirked. -How did you notice?

-[laughing] -I--I notice all.

I thought that bowling wasa Midwest staple

'cause y'all can't go outsidefor half the year.

Okay, maybe I wasted my wintersboxing

instead of hitting the lanes, huh?

Oh.

LEWIS: ♪ No need to hurry

JOSIE: Okay, so then you have footwork.

That we can work with.

PAUL: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, here we go. Let's go, come on.

JOSIE: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

May I?

Buy a guy a drink first. Rude.

-Let's back it up. -All right, okay.

-Back, back it up. -So we going...

-Back it up. -Mm-hmm.

Start here.

We're gonna take four steps,

starting with the right.

We're gonna endwith a slide step on the left

that drops this right hip down,all right?

-JOSIE: You ready? -PAUL: Uh-huh.

So I go one...

BOTH: Two, three...

four--slide step.

-Slide step. -Yep.

Then release your thumb

as the ball goes by your right knee.

The spin will take care of itself.

♪

All right.

LEWIS: ♪ Take it easy, take it easy ♪

Here we go.

LEWIS: ♪ No need to hurry

♪

Ooh...

LEWIS: ♪ Take your time, take your time ♪

[both cheer, laugh]

-JOSIE: Yes! -PAUL: Hey!

You are one hell of a teacher, Josie.

-[laughs] -Look at that.

You really don't mind, do you?

-What? -Getting your butt whupped

by a girl.

[clicks tongue] Actually, I kind of love it.

[laughs]

Ugh, my last boyfriend couldn'tstand it.

Well, he sounds like an idiot.

He was always ragging on me for being such a tomboy,

but you can't help who you are,right?

LEWIS: ♪ Take your time, take your time ♪

-♪ Take your time -Believe me, I know.

-LEWIS: ♪ No need to hurry -Slide step.

-LEWIS: ♪ No, no, no -[pins clatter]

I'm starting to regretcleaning all that glitter

-out of your eyes. -Mm-hmm.

Okay,you being blind might have

evened the playing fielda little.

You keep telling yourself that,Paul.

Okay.So you think you a savage?

-"Think"? -Okay, you know what?

Next time, we're doingmini golf, all right?

Because Tiger Woods ain't gotnothing on me

when it comes to puttinginto a clown head.

Okay, you are on.

[laughs]

You know, you're not likemost of the guys around here.

You know, tonight was the most fun I've had

since I got to Austin.

Well, tonight does nothave to be over.

[romantic music]

Um, you know, there's something

we haven't talked about yet, Josie.

♪

SINGER: ♪ Love is the ocean

-Judd? -JUDD: Welcome home, wife.

Hang on. Let me get that for ya.

[soft music]

There we go.

-Come on, come on. -What...is this?

Is that osso bucco?

Uh, yes, ma'am. I believe it is.

Judd, you hate osso bucco.

It ain't always about me.

♪

Judd...

Hey, hang on. Come here.

♪

Grace,

you are the one thing in this world

that I can't live without.

And, um, the idea that I would make you doubt that,

even for a minute, is a crime.

'Cause I don't just want you.

I need you.

♪

Well, you got me, fool.

I mean, you can call me namesif you want to.

-I can take it. -[laughs]

I can.

Tried to outdo me, huh?

Mm-hmm.

♪

[laughs]

[groans]

Whoops.

[both laugh]

-JUDD: Uh-oh. -GRACE: Mm-hmm.

-Mm-hmm. -Well, you know the food's

-gonna get cold. -Well, I hate osso bucco.

I know you do.

[laughs]

BOTH: I love you.

[machine whirring]

Hey.

What's up?

Want me to make you a coffee?

-Thanks. -Espresso?

Sure.

Here you go.

-Thank you. -Mm-hmm.

[sips]

How is it?

You mean, how was it?

Yeah, well, I mean, I--I didn't wanna ask, but...

-We bowled. -You bowled.

We bowled, and I got a 54.

Nice, man.

No, that is actually terrible.

Sorry, I--I don't know anything about bowling.

Well, apparently,little kids bowled in the 60s.

-So... -Oh, well, then you should be

very ashamed of yourself.

I'm guessing it went well.

[soft, tense music]

♪

I am so embarrassed at how I reacted last night.

I owe you an apology.

You don't owe me anything, Josie.

I couldn't sleep last night.

I can't stop thinkingabout you.

I really like you, Paul.

You mean "liked."

No, I mean "like."

Present tense.[chuckles]

You're thoughtful and charming,

and sexy as hell.

You're literallythe man of my dreams.

But only in your dreams, huh? [sighs]

I guess I'm just notas evolved as I thought I was.

I'm not a terrible person.

I know you're not.

I really do like you.

I just don't thinkthat this is something

I can get past.

I'm sorry.

♪

It was nice to meet you,Paul Strickland.

Nice to meet you too, Josie.

♪

[indistinct chatter over PA]

Mmm!

Mmm.

This uni is melt-in-your mouth.

[utensils clatter]

I didn't know Texas could do sushi like this.

Well, technically,the chef is from Okinawa,

but I'm glad you dig it.

And sake.

So floral and airy.

You ever had days where food just tastes better?

Okay, I think I knowwhat's going on here.

Somebody got a visitfrom the boner fairy.

Oh, no, no, not--not by a long shot.

Then are you on drugs?

Uh, not those kinds.

So what happened?

[mellow pop music playing]

I was about to inject my "little buddy"

with a very large needle.

Oh, God.

And I realized you were right.

I was putting way too much pressure on the situation.

Well, it sounds likeyou've had some

significant growthover the past 48 hours.

Should I rephrase that?

[laughs] No, no, no.

I'm good. I'm good.

I'm zen.

And I have to say,

I'm kind of loving it.

Great.

Buckle up, because this ahi'sgonna blow your mind.

Do you wanna knowa brain trick?

When you cut off one sense,you intensify the other ones.

So close your eyes...

and open your mouth.

♪

Mmm.

Mmm-mmm.

Mmm.

Mm. [smacks lips]

Is it true that sushi is an aphrodisiac?

It's--yeah, it's been said.

But it couldn't have...

kicked in this quickly, could it have?

[gasps] Oh.You mean...

-Oh, yeah. -No kidding?

Yes. I think we should get our food to go.

Sushi doesn't travel well.

Screw it.Check!

SINGER: ♪ Go to sleep

♪ Underneath your cover

[indistinct chatter]

[dramatic music]

Hey, guys.

What's going on?

-Waiting on you. -PAUL: Me?

Why?

'Cause you're coming outwith us tonight.

-No. -TK: I'm serious, Paul.

We're not taking no for an answer.

Okay, we're not going bowling, though, are we?

[chuckles] No.

♪

So, uh, I guess he told you about me.

What, that you're straight? Yeah.

I don't judge.

[Corona's "The Rhythm of the Night"]

JENNY B.: ♪ This is the rhythm

♪ Of the night, the night

♪ The night

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ The rhythm of the night

[vocalizations and building electronic beat]

♪ This is the rhythm

PAUL: Y'all sure we're still in Texas?

TK: Mm-hmm.

I wouldn't stereotypeif I were you, man.

[laughs]Good point.

Keep Austin weird, baby.

JENNY B.: ♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪

♪ The night

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ The rhythm of the night

♪ This is the rhythm of the night ♪

ANNOUNCER: See 9-1-1 Lone Star.

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