Original subtitles

(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) ...reference that to hell with this court.

Dr. Becker, you're out of order.

No, you know something?

You're out of order.

This whole system's out of order.

Hey, you know...

Tell that judge to get her ass down

here.

Let's see how brave she is when she's

not hiding behind that bench.

You know, it's true what they say.

Black is slimming.

And by that, of course, I mean your

robes, obviously, not the fact that you yourself...

You're not getting out until you say you're

sorry.

Oh, come on, you just let out two

burglars and a pimp.

They said they were sorry.

Oh, come on, that case was ridiculous.

You know, and I...

Wait, wait, uh...

All right, I'll admit that my behavior in

court was...

disrespectful.

And?

And...

I'm sorry.

Okay, I'm gonna let you out, but you're

going to have to see a therapist to

work on your problem with authority.

A therapist?

Oh, come on, you can't make me do

that.

Oh, but I can.

And if you don't have this form signed

by a therapist within the next three months,

you're gonna find yourself right back down here.

Now, look, actually, you know, Judge, I...

I'm sorry, Judge, um...

Reinhold.

Judge Reinhold?

You're kidding me.

That's the silliest...

And by silly, obviously, I don't mean you.

You know what I'm saying?

You are a very handsome woman.

You can take

down the yellow ribbons.

Your boy's home.

Boy, I tell you, after spending all that

time rotting in that stinking cell, it's nice

to be back to civilization.

Hey, Papillon, it's just been two hours.

You've taken longer lunches.

Hey, you know, I-I did my time.

And then the judge recognized she made a

mistake, said she was sorry, and she let

me leave.

Liar.

Your court-appointed psychologist called.

First session, 4 o'clock tomorrow.

Dr. Tucker, welcome back.

Oh, thank you.

Actually, you know something?

I do owe you thanks, both of you,

for standing by me throughout this whole ordeal.

Well, of course we'd stand by you.

We're like a family here.

I was always behind you, 100%.

Liar.

Linda, you have a message, something about a

job you applied for.

Me?

Job?

No.

That was a telephone survey.

They were calling people who were happy at

their jobs.

And apparently, I'm on that list.

And why wouldn't I be?

I mean, I'm working with people that I

care about and a job that I treasure.

I love you guys.

I had better friends in the joint.

Hello, you must be Dr. Becker.

Yeah, you must be Dr. Simmons.

I'm a Ph.D., but you know the

doctor part.

It's merely a formality.

Yes, I know.

That's why I did this.

I'm sorry to keep you waiting.

I'm moving a little slowly.

Some lady accidentally pushed me down on the

subway.

Actually, it's kind of an interesting story.

Yeah, which you can tell me when you're

paying 80 bucks an hour.

Fair enough.

Hey, you know, let's not waste each other's

time.

I'm sure you got a waiting room full

of nuts to crack out there.

Just sign this form for the judge, and

I'll be on my way, all right?

I understand that you're impatient.

Impatient?

Yeah, I once sat through a six-hour

timeshare presentation just to get a free clock

radio.

I'm not impatient.

I'm just telling you that this is a

waste of time.

Well, the judge seems to think that you

have a problem with authority.

Now, if you would just open yourself up,

I think we may be able to get

some very good work done here.

I don't need work.

Society needs work.

Unless you're one of those don't-worry-be

-happy people.

I might have been ten years ago when

that song was popular.

But you see, instead of getting angry, I

try to meet the world halfway.

For instance, I've been trying to get my

phone fixed.

Now, the repairman keeps coming when I'm with

a patient.

Did I scream?

Did I yell?

Did you get your phone fixed?

That's not my point.

You see, I simply rescheduled.

You know, Dr. B...

Um, may I call you John?

No.

Can you hear how hostile you are?

Can you hear what a doormat you are?

Look, I have two ex-wives and three

ex-phone companies.

But believe me, there's only one way to

treat people who are hell-bent on screwing

you.

As a matter of fact, I once got

into this thing with my landlord.

I tell you, that son of a bitch...

So I told him, hey, my taxes pay

your damn salaries.

As far as I'm concerned, you work for

me.

And this was the Department of Motor Vehicles?

What?

No.

Sanitation.

Try to keep up, will you?

That is why we don't need Canada.

Well, I'm afraid...

Oh, yeah, here it comes, here it comes.

I'm afraid the world isn't perfect.

Y'all need to relax, take a pill,

you know, get with the program.

No, what I meant was, I'm afraid our

time is up.

Our session is over.

Do you need validation?

Certainly not from you.

I meant your parking.

Oh, yeah, that'd be great.

Linda, don't turn down that other job.

You can use it as leverage.

You can run Becker and Margaret through the

ringer.

You can screw them into the ground.

They're your friends, right?

But I don't really want to leave.

Although it is a new and exciting opportunity.

Wow, what kind of job is it?

An assistant in a doctor's office.

Uh, Linda, how is that different from the

job you already have?

Well, for starters, they think I can type.

Hey, Jake.

Hey, good morning, Linda.

Hey, Jake, what's up?

Wait till you guys hear this.

Last night, I had the most incredible sex

I've ever had.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

There's a lady present.

Ma'am, you might want to go sit

over there.

All right, she's gone.

Jake, spill it.

Yeah, so what did this girl do?

It was a girl, right?

Well, because I'm blind, she was describing everything

she was doing in great, vivid, nasty detail.

I mean, she didn't even touch me for

the first hour.

I've been there.

You had a thick piece of glass in

some quarters, and Bob knows exactly what you're

talking about.

Hey, guys.

Well, well, well.

Oh, it isn't the centerfold for psychology today.

Have you cried about your mommy yet?

You know, John, why don't you lie down

and tell us all about it?

Is there anything Margaret doesn't tell you people?

Yes, her business.

And I tell you, this whole therapy thing's

a big waste of time.

I talk, she listens.

That was it.

I mean, how's that gonna change me?

Don't you get what she's doing?

She's treating you.

Oh, please.

It's a very common practice in psychology.

She's letting you talk to open you up.

She's making you emotionally available.

You couldn't be more wrong, Reg.

Think about it, Becker.

When was the last time a woman was

actually interested in what you had to say?

That bitch.

Well, Dr. Becker, you have managed to sit

through almost an entire session without saying a

word.

It's not the record, but it's close.

Why?

What's the record?

Oh.

Well, now that you're talking, let's continue.

Come on, just sign this and let me

go home, will you?

Oh, excuse me.

Uh, come in.

Hey, I'm here to fix the phone again.

Oh, I'm sorry, and I'm working again.

Well, then you're gonna have to reschedule.

Again.

If.

Call this number.

Uh, one minute.

Uh, I know this must be very frustrating

for you two, but would it be at

all possible for you to come back tomorrow

during lunch?

I promise.

Just so you know, he's never coming back.

You were so quick to criticize.

Did you ever consider that maybe this was

the only time he had available?

Oh, yeah, and maybe he had a lousy

childhood or a crappy marriage or his shorts

were riding up.

If we as individuals don't even try to

see the other person's point of view, how

will the world ever become a better place?

No, the world will never become a better

place until morons like that are held up

to a higher standard by candy-ass pushovers

like you.

Look you loud-mouthed blowhard, I don't have

to sit here and listen to your insults.

I am so and so sorry.

No, no, that's great.

See, you're just as angry as I am.

Yeah, you just hide it behind that cardigan

sweater and that saccharine smile.

I am not as angry as you are.

Yes, you are.

I am not.

Yes, you are.

Yes, you are.

I am not as angry as you are!

And if I am, it is only because

of your smug, cocky, self-involved attitude.

I run into people like you all the

time.

You are that guy in traffic who honks

his horn the second the light turns green.

You're that lady who's in such a rush

to get to her stupid bingo game that

she pushes me down the steps of the

subway and breaks my foot.

I know you.

You are that inconsiderate bastard who watches me

run for the elevator and lets the doors

close right before I get there.

I didn't think you saw me.

Okay, now's your chance.

Go make your demands.

Ask for what you want.

What do I want?

What everyone wants.

Money, power, women.

That's what you want, Bob.

Fine, fine, if you want a little something

for yourself, but just go.

Margaret, I think I've made no secret of

the fact that I've been offered another job.

Oh, you've made it a secret.

You just didn't keep it very well.

I think I've made it a secret Well,

I hate to say this, but if the

office can't come up with more money, I'm

gonna have to leave.

I'm sorry, Linda.

There just isn't any more money.

It's impossible.

See, that's the difference between us.

You look at something and say, why not?

I look at something and say, why not?

That doesn't make any sense.

Why not?

Hi, Jake.

Hi, Jake.

I'm holding the door open for two ladies.

Yes, Margaret and Linda.

Okay, now I'm holding the door open for

you, and I'm walking to the step.

Oh, here it is.

Uh-huh, I remember.

You know, I come here every day.

Okay.

A strange little man just waved and is

looking at me in a dirty way.

Hi, Bob.

How'd you know?

Oh, that's what Bob does.

I'm nothing if not consistent.

Okay, okay, Jake.

I'm going to work now.

I'm walking to the door.

Now I'm opening it, and now I am

blowing you a kiss and waving bye-bye.

Bye, Kayla.

That woman is driving me out of my

mind.

Was that the talker?

What was your first clue?

The fact that she never shut up?

She describes every single moment of every single

day.

But I thought you liked that.

Yeah, it's great when we're having sex.

She just spent the past half hour describing

everyone on the subway.

You're kidding.

Not seeing those freaks on the A train

is one of the perks of being blind.

Hey, Fred!

Fred, get out here!

All right, stop yelling.

What's it mean when your strength starts ranting

and raving like a lunatic?

Spending too much time with you?

Shut up, Bob.

Becker, don't you see what she's doing?

She's not yelling at you.

She's holding up a mirror to your psyche

to show you exactly what your anger looks

like.

Oh, what a load of crap.

Careful here, Jake.

I'm right behind you with hot coffee.

Yeah, I know you're behind me.

You don't have to tell me what you're

doing.

I mean, why does everyone think they have

to explain everything to me?

I knew you were behind me because I

heard you clapping around in your big, ugly

shoes.

Why would you say my shoes are ugly?

Kayla told me.

John?

Oh, stop sneaking up on me, will you?

What do you want?

You just got another strange message from your

therapist.

Something about finding the woman who pushed her

down the subway steps and then something else

about payback time.

What?

Oh.

Oh, no, that's not real.

That's just a psychological trick to show me

what my anger looks like.

Why didn't you just ask me?

Heads up.

Linda's coming in to demand a raise or

else she's gonna leave.

I'll miss her.

John, look, I know there's no money, but

I don't think she really wants to go,

so just give her something.

How about I throw a ball of yarn

under that chair to distract her?

I wouldn't count on that working a second

time.

Dr. Becker?

Yeah?

I've been offered another job.

If you want me to stay, you're gonna

have to give me more money.

Here's what I was thinking.

And here's what I was thinking.

But that's less than what I make now.

Fewer hours?

No.

Better benefits?

Uh-uh.

More vacation?

No.

Well, come on, you have to give me

something.

How about that pen?

This?

This is my favorite pen.

Oh, come on, you got it free from

a drug company.

All right, I got a pen.

Did you give her my pen?

Hi, Becker.

You never returned any of my calls.

What the hell are you doing here?

You know, when I first met you, I

thought you were the one with the problem,

but the more I thought about what you

said, the more I saw you might be

the sanest person I've ever met.

And you got in here how?

The thing is, Becker, you set me free.

Yeah, I'm gonna set you free again.

Here's the door.

The other day, when I started yelling at

you, I felt alive.

I couldn't stop.

I mean, you were right about what you

said about not letting other people walk all

over me.

The things you said, man, they empowered me.

Yeah, not my intention.

Oh, and you were right about that phone

guy.

He never showed up.

I thought to myself, now, what would Becker

do?

So I went out, I got a pair

of wire cutters, went to his house...

Oh, my God, you didn't cut his phone

lines.

No, his brake line.

On his car?

I mean, what happens when he tries to

stop?

Nothing.

No, man, I was really on a roll.

I did my accountant's car, my landlord's, my

ex-husband's.

I'm telling you, Becker, once I started following

your philosophy, my entire life fell into place.

No, no, I don't have a philosophy.

I mean, sure, I talk a good game,

but that's all it is, just talk.

There's a big difference between a letter to

the editor and a Molotov cocktail.

Molotov cocktail, right.

That fits in perfectly with my plans for

tomorrow.

Oh, that's just crazy.

You can't...

Oh, oh, oh, oh, my God.

Whoa!

I see what you're doing.

You're good.

You're very good.

You didn't do any of that stuff.

You're just holding a mirror up so I

can see what my anger looks like.

Where'd you get that load of crap?

Oh, my...

You really are crazy.

Look, uh...

Doctor, I'm a...

I'm a real doctor, and this is some

really good medical advice.

I want you to just, you know, take

a minute here, try to relax, you know,

take a deep breath...

and sign my form.

Do you know what?

If I were you, and I'll be damned

if I don't feel like I am, I

would just tear this thing right up.

Show the judge that you are not gonna

be a slave to the system.

That's what you taught me, Becker, and I

will never, ever forget it.

Yeah, look, uh, I wish you wouldn't go

around giving me credit for that stuff.

I'd hate to see my name come up

during an arraignment or something.

Hi, Jake.

It's me, Kayla.

Hi, Kayla.

Kiss.

By the way, I'm wearing black slacks, a

red top, and my hair's up.

Mm-hmm.

So, why'd you want to see me?

Listen, let's sit down, Kayla.

Okay.

I'm taking you by the arm, and we

are taking two steps forward.

One, two.

Kayla.

And now I'm letting go.

I know.

Would you please stop doing that?

I don't need anyone to describe every single

detail of the world to me.

It's condescending.

I mean, the sex was good, but...

Don't take this personally, the sound of your

voice makes my skin crawl.

Jake, I have a total look of surprise

right now.

Kayla, you're a nice person.

Kayla.

Kayla.

You still there?

Yeah, she's here.

And she looks really pissed.

Now she's going to the door.

No?

Something caught her eye.

Uh-oh.

It's a large pitcher of iced tea.

Now she's walking back to you.

What's she doing now?

I'm sorry, Jake.

I just remembered you don't like people describing

things to you.

God, it's just too good to keep to

myself.

She poured it in your lap.

Thanks for walking me to the bank, Becker.

I always get nervous when I have a

whole week's worth of receipts.

Oh, don't be too grateful.

I'm not going to be a hero over

40 bucks.

Hey!

Hey, you!

Slow down!

Speed limit's 25!

Uh...

Wait here for a minute, will you?

Hey, you!

You're jaywalking.

Becker!

What are you doing out here?

Exactly what you taught me to do.

I'm fighting a good fight.

Yes, yes.

I, uh...

I see that.

As a matter of fact, you've...

You've become quite a hero of mine.

Say, I wonder, do you think you could

give me your, uh...

Your autograph?

You just want me to sign your form,

don't you?

I'll give you five bucks.

Deal.

You know, Becker, you and I have been

on quite a journey together.

In fact, I...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Good luck with that.

Come on, let's go.

See, Becker, therapy did change you.

Before you started, you would have never given

money to a homeless person.

Well, you know me.

I like to meet the world halfway.

Not a chance.

Get a job, spokes.

You