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♪ You don't own me ♪

♪ I'm not just one of your many toys ♪

♪ You don't own me ♪

♪ Don't say I can't go with other boys ♪

♪ And don't tell me what to do ♪

♪ Don't tell me what to say ♪

♪ Please, when I go out with you ♪

♪ Don't put me on display ♪

♪ 'Cause you don't own me ♪

♪ Don't try to change me in any way ♪

♪ You don't own me ♪

♪ Don't tie me down 'cause I'll never stay ♪

♪ I don't tell you what to say ♪

♪ I don't tell you what to do ♪

♪ Just let me be myself ♪

♪ That's all I ask of you ♪

♪ I'm young ♪

♪ And I love to be young ♪

♪ I'm free and I love to be free ♪

♪ To live my life the way that I want ♪

♪ To say and do whatever I please ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And don't tell me what to do ♪

♪ Oh, don't tell me what to say ♪

♪ Please when I go out with you ♪

♪ Don't you dare put me on display ♪

♪ And I don't tell you what to say ♪

♪ I don't tell you what to do ♪

♪ So just let me be myself ♪

♪ That is all that 1 ask of you ♪

♪ I am young and I love to be young ♪

♪ I'm free and I love to be free ♪

See ya later.

Good night, guys.

Freak, freak, freak!

Jesus, Mo, what the hell are you doing?

Oh, the old chicken mask trick.

Gets 'em every time.

You scared me half to death.

What is wrong with you?

Good 10 see you, too.

Doing a little redecorating?

My friends are here.

I'm in a raging hurry, okay?

Oh, right, wouldn't wanna keep

your little sorority sisters waiting.

I'll catch you in psych tomorrow, okay?

Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait!

This is like an emergency, I really need you.

Oh my god, who is that?

Yo, that's that weird goth chick.

I heard she's a dyke.

Hey, a little lesbo action, dude.

I could get into that.

What the hell is she doing?

We've been waiting for her ass for like five minutes.

Come on, Riss, the nuns await!

All I need is a ride.

A ride, a ride where?

To the convent, that's where you're going, isn't it?

Heard you guys were trying to like paint your little letters

on the convent before the Kappas beat you to it.

Yeah, and?

I need you to give me a ride there.

I just can't take you, Mo.

They won't understand.

Whatever, Clorissa.

You're always gonna be struggling to fit in.

They're never gonna accept you for who you are.

They're my friends, they like me for who I am.

Seeing as how they like you so much,

I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I told them

about all your tattoos or the nose ring

you used to where. You wouldn't.

Your one-night-stand with Joey Ramone.

They won't believe you.

By the way, I was digging through my closet and I

came across this picture of you and I at the Misfits show!

I'm sure they'd love to see this, it's a classic.

Oh, did you?

Look, I'm sorry we don't hang out anymore,

but, God, did you think you can just blackmail me

into being your friend again, Mo?

Get over yourself, Clorissa!

I need a ride and that's it!

And?

And I wanna see if the place is really haunted.

Oh god, I thought you gave that up with like Menudo?

What, your new friends don't like Menudo?

Would you get it in gear, Riss?

I'm like getting wrinkles waiting here for you.

Hey, hey, bring the lesbo along!

Whoo, lesbo, that's me!

This is great.

Okay, why?

Because Frijole hasn't gotten any

since he got booted from the house.

Yeah, after breaking the record for longest

pledge hood in history.

Hey, why would you even try to scam on a dyke?

You know you can't have her. I'll turn her around, man.

Just give me five minutes, watch.

Right, dude, you can't even turn a screw.

Dude, screw you.

I'll show you wannabes what it's like to be the mack of UZZ.

Puh-lease.

Watch and learn, girl.

All I need is five minutes alone with her.

Fine, if you want to go that bad, jump in.

But I swear to god, if you say anything--

Don't worry, Riss, your secrets are safe with me.

Guys, this is Mo.

What's that short for, Morticia?

Are you a bulimic bitch?

Excuse me.

So, Kaitlin, how was cheer leading practice?

Oh, it was fun.

They had us do the same routine

like 90 million times.

Hey, hey, it's that freaky old bitch's pad, man.

Who?

The town legend, crazy chick who lives in that house.

Ooh, somebody lives in that house?

I guess anything's better than the loony bin.

What do you mean?

That's Christine's house.

She made him shut down the convent.

Actually she shut it down.

She went crazy and blew away the nuns.

Made our town famous.

Has anyone ever seen her?

No, she shoots

at anyone who steps on her property.

For real?

Yeah, man, she shoots at people all the time.

I bet you I could fuck her.

Would you stop being such an asshole

and let's just get there already?

I just wanna check and see if

the freak wants to come with us.

Hey, baby!

Hey, we're gonna go visit your friends tonight.

You wanna come! Stop it, Frijole!

Girl, just relax.

Come on, baby, we got room for one more!

Let's split.

Dude, quit being such a buzzkill, man.

There ain't no one living in there.

You know what, I don't care.

I'm just getting like really bad juju from this place, okay?

All right, baby, this is your last chance!

Oh shit!

Oh shit!

I am not overreacting.

My idea of spending a good Friday night

isn't getting hacked to death by

some crazy old lady.

Riss, just chill out.

Riss, you are such a spaz case.

- Yeah! - Woo hoo!

Woo hoo!

Woo!

Woo, yeah!

Woo!

Woo!

Holy shit.

All right, kids, we got some paintin' to do.

Mm-hmm.

Yo, this place is all Amityville and shit like.

Redrum, redrum!

Wrong movie, nimrod.

Yeah, aye, aye, I got a good one for you.

All right, what kinda pussy does a priest get?

Nun.

Nun, get it?

Nun.

Yeah, same kind you get, huh, Frijole?

HG.

You're right, dude, she wants you bad.

Yeah, laugh it, homey, just watch.

Imma get some tonight, to sho.

You just give me five minutes.

What're you doing here?

Oh, I finished the guys' laundry

early so they let me come along.

The guys?

You make it sound like they're

your big buddies or something.

They are my buddies, they're gonna

let me in the fraternity.

Don't you see they're just using you?

You're a joke to them, sweetie.

They're never gonna let you in.

God, you sound just like Mom.

Hey.

Can't you accept that they're my friends, too?

Can't you just accept that they're my friends, too?

Ah!

Oh yeah.

Nice, nice.

Good one, Chad.

That one went all the way up my ass.

Good job, pal.

Yeah, you just go on ahead, I'll catch up.

Be right there.

Yo, bust it open, pledge.

I'm sorry, man, what?

I said bust down the damn door now now now!

Yeah, hey, bust it down, pledge.

Okay, all right.

Bust it down, bust it down.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay, man, yeah, all right.

Um, okay is there a shovel or something around?

A what, a shovel?

Move your ass now, bitch!

Hey!

Hey, can you please take it easy on him?

Uh, sorry, Riss, but coddling on your little brother

ain't gonna make him a Lambda.

Oh, and body-slamming him into a door will?

Just one more time, all right, Clorissa?

Fine, whatever.

Please, I.

Good job, man.

My ass is stuck!

Get outta there you fuckin'!

Climb inside.

I think I ruptured my spleen.

Hey, don't be a pussy, pledge, climb inside.

Sounds to me like you're all a bunch of pussies.

Get outta my way.

Excuse me?

I think you heard me the first time.

Why don't you stick it in your ear?

This must be where it all happened.

Where what happened?

The abortion.

There wasn't an abortion.

I mean, that's just an urban legend, right?

Bullshit.

It was the scandal that closed this place down.

The last surgery ever performed here.

Christine O'Malley was 16 and pregnant.

Not a pretty situation back then.

Father Ryan and Mother Superior kidnapped her

in the middle of the night and

brought her here and strapped her down.

No, no!

No, no!

They performed an abortion right then and there.

No consent necessary.

I bet they used a wire hanger.

Gross, Kaitlin!

That's my girl.

Why would they do that?

I mean, abortion's like the biggest sin in Catholicism.

Rumor has it the child was Father Ryan's.

That's fucked up.

Did the Church punish Father Ryan?

Hardly.

Christine busted into mass one day, blew him away,

and then torched 'em one by one.

Nuns in flames, I bet it was fuckin' beautiful.

So she became like some serial nun-killer?

Well, she claimed they were the Devil's disciples.

And thus began her 30-year vacation in the nuthouse.

They say that Father Ryan and the nuns still

haunt this building seeking revenge.

Sounds like you saw one too many episodes of Elvira.

Man.

Nasty, dude! Yeah!

Yo, get it the fuck outta here, pledge.

But but.

No, don't but me, move it, now!

Get it the fuck outta here, you heard what I said!

Move it, move it, move it, now, now, pledge!

That's right!

Biff, this place is gross, let's just hurry and paint

and then we can go somewhere romantic.

Now you talkin', now you talkin'.

Do you think Devil worshipers really live here?

It's paint, knucklehead.

What do you say we do a little exploring of our own?

Don't you think we should all stay together?

Right, what was I thinking.

Hey, start that graffiti, pledge!

Frijole

Frijole

The dog's tr yin' to hump me.

You said you wanted some action, dude.

It's not funny, he's really strong.

Whoa, whoa, boy, easy, boy.

Yo, Brant, why don't you take Boozer for a little stroll?

Just let him go here,

the place is already a shithole.

Let me repeat myself, pledge.

Why don't you take Boozer for a walk?

But.

Okay.

Come on, Boozer.

Looks like it's just you and me and the chronic, baby.

Yeah, lucky me.

People really do come here to Devil worship.

It's another fucking stupid legend.

There's probably homeless people here, too.

Uh, I don't know.

I wouldn't exactly call this place a shelter.

God, I wonder what it'd be like to spend the night here?

Mm, do you have a little hidden dark side?

Maybe.

What, what's the matter?

There was a nun and she was all gross and fucked up!

Relax, you're just seein' shit.

Frijole's weed was probably laced with a little something.

I swear I saw a nun standing right there.

Okay, you're tripping on the weed and Morticia's story.

But it looked so real.

Relax, we're supposed to be having fun.

Well, I'm not.

Can we please just bail?

I mean, this place creeps me out.

Sexy, Ris.

You think we can get up to the bell tower from here?

Yeah, I think so.

What are you, scared?

Nah.

So, baby, do you know karate 'cause like

that ass is kickin'?

Please tell me you're not serious.

Come on, baby, it's just you're so beautiful

I'm struggling to find the right words.

So why don't you do us both a favor and quit talking?

Oh, oh, you want me to be the strong, silent type?

I can do that. Yeah, just relax, stud!

Come on, baby, you know you want it.

Get offa me!

- All chicks say that. - Yeah, I'm sure they do.

Yeah, but they never mean it.

Well, I do.

Look, frat boy, I'm a virgin and I'm

certainly not losing it so some player like you.

I'm saving myself for Marilyn Manson.

So you're a hater?

Well, that explains it, baby.

But don't worry, you'll get nothin' but lovin' from Frijole.

I thought I told you to relax!

Whoa, whoa, man.

I'm sensing some aggression here.

Yeah you are, so fuckin' quit it.

Man, talk about sendin' mixed signals, man.

Virgin my ass.

This is the police!

You have 60 seconds to vacate the building.

- Fuck! - Oh shit!

Hands up in the air

or that's your ass! Ah shit!

Look, I was not here, do you hear me?

No no no it's probably just the campus police.

Just be cool, okay? No no no no no.

Look, I'm already on probation, okay?

Please, just tell 'em I cruised.

Whoa, whoa, mun, you want me to lie five-o?

What, come on, it'll be our little secret.

Just, all you have to do is just tell 'em that I went home.

I, uh.

I could make it worth your while.

That sounds good to me, baby.

You just tell me where and when.

Uh, back here, um, say an hour?

How do I know you'll show?

I don't know, you want a credit card?

I'll tell you what, you give me

your panties and it's all good.

M- my panties?

It's an easy choice, baby doll.

Panties or community college.

Panties or community college. Yeah, okay, all right!

All right, Jesus Christ, what do you watch

16 Candles like 18,000 times.

You got it on loop at your house?

What?

Bring your ass out now!

- Here. - Yeah!

Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' 'bout, mother fuck a, whoo!

Well, let me guess.

You all thought you'd be the ones

to finally desecrate the bell tower, didn't you?

Is that what you thought!

No, we were just--

Who said you could talk, white boy?

I thought that--

Shut up!

I don't wanna hear another word from you, little punk!

You see, every year come homecoming game

'nother group of kids tries to be the one to get passed me,

but that never happens, does it Starkey?

Hell no!

And this year ain't gonna be no different, kids,

you got that?

Now, are you sure there's no one

else left inside the building?

Is there anybody else, huh?

Huh?

There better not be,

'cause if I so much as catch a scent of anybody else

in there I'm gonna lock your ass up so tight

they gon have to have a combination to visit yo nuts,

white boy!

So

if you're sure that we're not

gonna find anybody else inside.

Well, there was another girl,

but she bailed and went home by herself.

Why the hell would a young girl

head home alone in the middle of the night?

Why?

Why why why why?

She said somethin' about her dorm had a curfew.

Well.

Tonight is your lucky night, kids.

If I see any of you little pricks around here again,

you're going downtown, you got that?

What's this?

What is this, what is this?

Uh, I don't know who's that is, man?

Oh, so know you wanna lie to me, huh, white boy?

Oh, you.

- No, no, no! - Let me kill him, Ray!

Let me kill him, Ray! No, Starkey, no.

He's not worth it.

- Let me kill him! - No, no, Starkey, no!

You know how it is, Ray, you know how I feel about this.

The youth destroying their lives

with this marijuana substance!

I know, Starkey, I know.

Delinquent, degenerate ass kids, get the hell outta here!

All of you, get out! Do what he says!

Before I bust a cap in yo ass!

For your own good!

Yeah, they get dumber every year, don't they?

Oh, man.

So what do you think, we outta go in there and check it out?

Make sure that those kids weren't lying to us?

Get in the car, let's move it along.

Man, none of these kids got enough

balls to stay in there, man.

Don't worry about it.

Give me some of that.

Get it on, little piggie!

Nice.

Oh, excuse me, can I get the shredded cheese on the side?

Frijole, did you really see Mo leave?

All I know is I saw her, all right.

I saw a whole lot of her.

Can you not be a pig for just one

minute and answer my question?

Don't be a hater, baby.

It's not very flattering.

Did you see her leave or not?

Take it easy, baby.

You know I like to avoid that whole cuddling afterwards.

Damn, girl, relax!

She hid so she wouldn't have to deal with the cops.

Dude, goth chicks probably gonna go all narcoleptic

and shit with the dead. laughing)

That would be necrophiliac.

Oh.

Do you guys get that we left her alone there?

So, she wanted to stay.

So she could get raped or murdered.

Oh.

Enough with the drama, babe.

True that.

Can we please go back and get her?

Excuse me, are you smoking crack?

I mean, I don't think getting arrested is gonna

look good on my application to fashion school!

- Chad? - Hm?

Are you coming with me?

Wait, Clorissa!

Calm down!

You eunuchs, do I have to handle absolutely everything!

Uh!

Kaitlin, don't worry about it!

Clorissa, where are you going?

I have to pee.

Well, I have to pee, too, but I'm not gonna go in there.

Is this the ghetto?

It won't kill you, just don't sit down.

Fine, but I'm gonna need like a rabies shot!

So what's the deal, Clorissa?

Why do you give a shit about that weird ass chick?

Kaitlin, we left a girl alone in a abandoned building.

Who knows what's happened?

I think you are way overreacting.

No, I'm not.

That place was freaky and you know it.

I don't care what you guys do, I'm going back.

Fine, Riss, whatever.

Let's just hurry it up, okay?

Now is your little fit over with or is there more?

I'm done, thanks.

Good, because you definitely

owe me one for this. Oh my god.

Dude, I wouldn't mind going back

for another round with that goth chick.

Dude, she was so fine.

Dude, I say we charge over to that 50 kegger

at the Lambda house. Yeah, beer.

We can't go back there, bro.

We could get in a lot of trouble.

Dude, if something happened to her

your name could be ruined, man.

Beer.

We wouldn't want Chadwick Senior to hear that his star

quarterback was caught trespassing, now would we?

It's just not worth it.

Hello, are you guts listening to me?

50 kegs, man, five, zero!

Wouldn't you feel bad if something happened to her, man?

It's not my problem, man.

- You guys suck, dick! - Screw you!

I don't care what you guys think.

Nothing is worth going back for.

Yeah, well 1 hate to tell you this,

but I left my entire stash there.

What?

You guys don't get it, 50 kegs.

Mm, we're risking way too much

for Clorissa's little Morticia friend.

It's Monica, okay, Kaitlin?

Monica. Mm, on the rag, Riss?

You guys, you guys, you guys,

let's just get the stash and get outta here.

And get Mo.

Right, and get Mo.

Oh, you guys, maybe if we separate we'll find her faster.

Great.

Shag, you go with Thelma, I'll go with Daphne.

Seriously, you guys, what the fuck?

Chad and I'll go look in that hallway.

Come on, baby.

And uh.

We'll check out the bedrooms.

Mm, later guys.

Yeah, later.

Boozer!

Boozer, get back here, boy!

Man.

Man, Brant, go get my dog, man.

Wait, I don't think we should split up.

Dude, I got some business to take care of.

What are you talking about?

I got some homeys meeting me here

to pick up a little herb.

Meeting you here?

Yeah, yeah, and they'll probably bring a couple hotties

with them so maybe I could hook you up if you go get my dog.

- You mean sex? - Yeah.

- With a girl? - Yes.

Here, take my keys, go get my dog,

wait there until, they'll come and find you, okay?

Yeah, that's great.

All good, it's all good.

I'll be busy shroomin', motha fuck as!

I have arrived!

Your virgin, my lord.

Ah, good.

So this must be our sacrificial lamb.

And at such a timely arrival.

Everything's ready, sir.

Very good, my minion of evil.

So, girls on the left and boys on the right.

And now comes the time where we worship my father, Lucifer.

Sapphire, are you ready to give your

soul to the fires of darkness?

Yes, my lord, 1 live for you command.

Well then, Sapphire, you know, Supphiru.

I don't know if I've ever told you this before,

but you definitely are the embodiment of lust.

A mere extension of your greatness, Saul.

And you will not be disappointed.

Please tell me you guys aren't serious?

Oh, we're dead serious.

You white trash losers don't actually think

you're gonna accomplish anything by killing me, do you?

Excuse me.

Silence, infidel, or if not, I shall personally and

with thine own hands tear the tongue from your mouth

for mocking the circle of biz, biz.

The thirteenth coven!

The thirteenth coven?

Could you be anymore gothic pretentious?

How dare you speak to the Prince

of Evil that way, you slut!

The Prince of Evil?

You work at fuckin' Dairy Queen!

Liar!

Liar my ass, you served my cousin

and me a Snacker Wizard last week.

What the fuck is she talking about?

Lies, lies, lies!

Silence her, now!

Now, then.

Daughter of Darkness, the time has come

to silence this one for eternity!

Dairy Queen, Saul?

Saphhira, the time is nigh for

your first step into darkness.

So why don't you take the Dagger of Despair

and, you know, plunge it into thine virginal heart?

Today.

Son of Evil, Lord of Darkness,

I invoke thee, Master of the Underworld.

I imprison your virgin in darkness, release her.

Deceiver of Seas, release her against the 60 demons.

Possess her eyes with the demons of the eyes.

Possess her hands with the demons of the hands.

Possess her heart with the demons of the heart.

We deliver thee, oh Lord of the Flame,

a human corpse with chaste loins and pure thighs.

May the demons tear her from every side!

Rise and rise!

Fuck!

Oh my god!

Cool.

Ah!

Was that a scream?

No.

Do you think Kaitlin and Biff are trying to fuck with us?

They better fucking stop.

We don't need the cops to come back here.

Yeah, but you know how she gets when she's wasted.

What was that?

It was probably nothing.

No, Chad, it was definitely something.

Look, let's just get outta here.

Hello?

Mo?

Is that you?

Again, let's just get outta here!

Well, I think we should check it out.

Great, famous last words.

Oh, come on.

Riss

Oh, Jesus, Chad, you're the man here.

I'm not afraid.

Oh, then prove it tough guy.

What?

See, there's nothing, I told you.

All right, I just wanted to check it out.

Great, now can we get the fuck outta here?

Riss

Growling)

- Oh, fuck! - Get up, Chad, get up!

Oh god!

Hey, what's up, guys?

♪ Dream weaver ♪

♪ I believe you can get me through the night ♪

♪ Ooh dream weaver, I believe we can ♪

♪ Reach the morning light ♪ This is some good shit.

♪ I've just closed my eyes again ♪

♪ Climbed aboard the dream weaver train ♪

Yo yo, get me down from here, motha fuck a!

♪ My worries of today ♪

♪ And leave tomorrow behind ♪

♪ Dream weaver ♪ What the fuck is that?

♪ I believe you can get me through the night ♪

♪ Dream weaver ♪

Well, well, well, who do we have here?

I always knew you were a kinky little thing thing.

Whoa.

Whoa shit.

Whoa, that's cool.

I dig dominant shit.

Girl, you, you look all demonic and shit.

Yo yo, that's cool, that's cool.

All right, that's cool.

Damn girl, you know what you're doin'.

All right, cool, do your thing.

Whatever you got to do.

You know what time it is and shit.

Ah!

Oh god!

Boozer?

Boozer?

Boozer?

Boozer?

Boozer?

Boozer?

Boozer, are you, are you in there?

He's not in there.

Okay.

No, no!

Are you one of them?

Answer me, are you the spawn of the devil?

No, I'm a Lambda.

Does he bear the mark, master?

What are you, ah, hey, what are you doing?

Stop it. This nipple, sire.

Is it the mark?

No no no no it's just a mole.

He's clean. Oh.

Oh.

Are you guys alumni or something?

What's going on?

The evil scarf, hurry up, give me the evil scarf.

The scarf?

Oh, I get it now.

You guys are Frijole's bros, huh?

Yeah.

Hey, hey, if you wanna hook up with some

of his dope, you know, you better

have a little action for the old Branster.

You know, accion, accion.

Oh, daddy, oh yeah, oh yeah.

You know what I mean?

That's right, Branster.

We are Frijole's boys and we are here to hook you up.

- Yes! - Yes!

So let's hook you up!

- All right! - All right!

- Oh my god! - Yes, come on.

Give him the scarf now, please.

I'm so excited.

I've got the scar right here.

And we're just gonna put this blindfold on.

Blindfold, okay?

Are the girls in the car or something?

Oh, yes.

All right, now, listen very carefully

to the sound of my voice.

You will sleep now.

Ah, fuck!

You hurt him, master.

Oh, my fucking head, you fucking dick!

I'm trying to strike him unconscious.

Oh my fucking god, that hurt me.

- I'm so sorry. - What was that for?

I'm sorry, we were kidding, I'm kidding.

Okay, come on in, come back, come on, okay.

Listen, listen very carefully. What are you guys doing?

Shh, just listen, listen, you will sleep.

Fuck me, you fucking dick!

I'm not having fun, you fucking dick!

- Come on now, wait, wait. - Stand still.

- Here it goes now. - Oh my god.

You will definitely sleep now!

Why did you do that, master?

'Cause I want to live and I have an idea.

What?

Perhaps we get another virginal sacrifice

we might be able to reverse the process.

It's in the demon's pact.

But don't we need a virgin?

Oh, well |I think we found one.

Oh, really.

We should have set up a meeting place.

Great time to think of that, Kaitlin.

Well, gee, I didn't expect to be accosted

by a slew of dead bugs, okay, Biff?

Can we exaggerate a little more?

You know what, I don't wanna fight, okay?

It's not gonna get us anywhere.

Ew! What now!

Oh my god, ah!

Get off my girlfriend, ho bitch!

Fuck!

Nasty fuck!

It won't budge!

Help!

Help!

Riss

Am I gonna be okay?

Um, you look good.

Help!

Chad, Riss!

Riss, they're right fucking behind me, come on!

Come on, move!

Move it, come on! Ah!

Ow!

Oh god!

Oh god, we gotta get him outta here!

We gotta stop the bleeding first.

Come on, give it here.

Give it to me. Oh my god.

Oh god.

Biff, help me!

You fucking help her!

Help me!

Move, move, move.

We've gotta get my brother.

I'm fucking dying!

Biff, we've gotta get my brother!

I'm not going anywhere, all right?

They made my fucking girlfriend one of them.

They're not gonna get me.

Hurry up!

I'm fucking moving!

Holy shit!

Shit!

Fuck!

Please, please!

Okay, I found it, boss.

Ew

Okay, here you go.

Say, listen, Dickie Boy, I just found out from my father,

Lucifer, that I won't be performing the ritual.

Oh, really?

Something to do about the Lord of Darkness

is far past doing such crude work, so.

So who's gonna do it?

Me?

But, boss, am I worthy?

Oh, yes, he told me.

Your time is now, Sibling of Satan.

I won't fail you, My Dark One.

Where am I?

I, I can't see.

Shh!

Just lie still.

But, but what's goin' on?

Come now, Branster, it's the surprise

you've been waiting for so just lay there.

Oh yeah, yeah.

A ha.

Rise, rise, rise!

What the hell are you doing?

Nothing, it's a surprise, shh!

Rise, rise, rise!

Rise, rise, rise!

Rise, rise, rise!

No, boss, I can't.

Hey, guys, um, I don't this is for me.

No, it is for you and only you can have it.

This is your chance, Dickie Boy.

Prove yourself.

Do it.

Do it.

I'm getting tired of this, guys.

Where's the hot chicks?

Damn it.

What is wrong with you? I can't!

Do it or it will be you.

Ah!

Oh my god, Devil worshipers!

- I'm sorry. - This is not going well.

Help me, officer, help me, help me!

Don't be scared, don't be scared, no!

I cast you out, demon bitch!

Away wit you damn creatures of the night!

Christine, hello!

Hello!

Hello!

Christine, it's the convent, people are dying.

You need to help us!

Please!

Christine!

Christine!

Bitch, bitch!

Hello?

Hello?

Stay right there, kid.

I gotta pump action Winchester leveled at your chest.

You don't believe me, take a step forward.

Are you her?

Are you Christine?

You came to get acquainted, you came to the wrong house.

You came to talk about the convent, start yappin'.

My friends are in trouble, they're stuck in there.

I think some of them may be dead.

Goddammit.

You kids broke in there, didn't ya?

Let me guess the rest of the story.

You and your friends went there to screw and smoke dope

when suddenly you awoke the forces

of evil and they started killing everybody, right?

Well, kinda.

Yeah, well.

Save your sob story for someone who gives a rat's ass.

But don't you see?

You're the only one who can help us.

Oh yeah, right.

Every five years or so you stupid kids think it'll be

great fun to brink into the convent

and see where it all happened.

Then, when all hell breaks loose you come

lookin' for the chick who started it.

Well, fuck that noise.

I've had it, not this time.

I don't need to clean up after everybody's mess.

But you have to help me.

My boyfriend, he's one of them,

and my brother's still inside.

Forget about 'em, they're dead.

How do you know?

I know.

The demons can only inhabit recently deceased bodies.

Once they take you over, it's too late.

You're already dead.

But my brother might still be alive.

Not unless he's a virgin.

He's not a virgin, is he?

What does that have to do with anything?

Straight answer, is he a virgin?

- Yeah. - Oh shit.

That is just fucking great.

He's a virgin, that's perfect.

So!

They fuckin' love virgins, god damn demons!

It's always somethin' with a virgin.

What's happening?

You kids have any idea what you've done?

No, what?

Let me tell you what really happened 40 years ago.

Sister Camilla was the first to see it.

In the garden was a little girl.

Just standing there in the rain.

Sister Camilla thought she was another orphan.

She was the first one 10 get it,

the first one to get the demon.

It wasn't long before it spread.

Sister Joan was next.

Then it was Sister Abigail.

And on down the line.

Sister Kay.

Sister Marlene.

Sister O'Donahvue.

Until there was none left.

The place had become the Devil's convent.

The next day at school, everyone knew something was wrong.

I'd only been there a few weeks.

I was eight months pregnant and a runaway.

They took me in.

From that day on, they started acting weird.

Really weird.

(whacking

Even after all that, nothin' could've

prepared me for what happened next.

Is that when they performed the abortion on you?

That's just the urban legend.

That's not what really happened.

What did happen?

I was lying on my bed and my baby started coming.

No!

No, please!

No!

They wheeled me into the

chapel and started the process.

What process?

The process of taking my baby.

What did they do with it?

They were gonna use it for one

of their fuckin' sacrifices.

You see, a virgin's blood is powerful,

but a baby's blood, way more powerful.

Why were they going to sacrifice it?

His body was gonna be the host

for their new leader, the Son of the Devil.

Unfortunately for them, I had a different plan.

No one was gonna take my baby.

That's why you went and shot them, right?

Right.

Although small town legend has it I went crazy

because they made me have an abortion.

So your baby, did it live?

Yeah, he's a civil engineer in Peoria.

The point of the story is, if these fuckers get their hands

on another virgin they can finally

complete their little ceremony.

My brother's gonna be the new Antichrist?

Afraid so.

Mom's gonna be pissed!

Clorissa, Chad, Clorissa?

Guys, is that you?

That's definitely not you.

Branster.

Now, where were we?

We were about to jab the dagger into his heart, my lord.

Ah, yes, very good, my believer.

Except this time let's get it right, shall we?

Now, then you keep holding his

body while I recite the passage.

And then, and only then, must you

thrust the ceremonial dagger into his virginal heart.

- Yes, Dark One. - Oh my god!

Stop it!

Rise!

Rise!

Hurry up!

They're coming.

Rise, rise!

Rise, rise!

Now, master, can I kill him?

No, no not yet.

Now, now, now you must kill him, now!

No, no, I'm too young to die, no!

Oh god, no!

The time is now!

Give me the dagger!

Ah!

So what're you gonna do?

What does it look like I'm doing?

Are you going in there by yourself?

No, I'm gonna be following you.

Hey, wait, um, uh, well, uh.

I mean, shouldn't we just call, you know, 911 or something?

Oh, you wanted my help, but you're

too afraid to go in there yourself?

No, it's just that.

It's just nothin'.

We got some demons to kill.

I've never even seen one of these before.

You'll figure it out.

Hop on.

Where are they taking us?

Don't you get it, they are going to sacrifice us.

Sacrifice?

God, why?

Because you're a virgin.

I am, well, how do they know that?

How do you know that?

Please, you are just oozing virginity.

And the demons, well, the demons

can probably just smell it on you.

Well, then why are they taking you?

You mean, you are a virgin? I just haven't

met the right one, okay?

Okay.

So what's your plan?

I'm gonna walk in and blow the shit out of 'em.

Um, what do you need me to do?

Just stay outta my way.

Right.

It's really quiet.

Yeah, well, that's never a good sign.

So, Christine, how do we kill these things?

Any questions?

- Psst, hey Brant? - Yeah.

I have an idea.

What?

I think we should have sex.

Excuse me?

I said, I think we should have sex.

Why?

Well, if we had sex, we wouldn't be virgins anymore.

Um, no, I think I'd rather not.

Listen, it's our only chance.

Um, well, okay, first off.

If we weren't virgins, then they'd just kill us.

Oh, that's a good point.

Hey, Brant?

Yeah.

I'd still like to try.

We couldn't have sex even if we wanted to.

We're both tied up.

No, see, look, I almost got my hands free.

- Oh my. - Come on, Brant.

Help.

Help.

Do you know where you're going?

I'm going to the chapel.

Stop asking so many damn questions.

What is it?

What? They're right behind us.

Die, you motherfuckers!

Hold on!

Just shut up and shoot!

Christine!

What are we gonna do?

I got no idea, kid.

But where do you think my brother is?

Oh, I'm sure they got him over in the chapel.

Well, then let's go.

Look, kid, we're almost outta bullets.

The chapels all the way over

on the other side of the convent.

- Out of bullets? - Yeah.

What're we gonna do?

I'll be right back.

What?

Hold them off till I get back.

Oh, okay.

Where are you going?

Don't worry about me, dude, I'm just moving away.

Come on, Brant.

Brant?

Oh, yes.

This is perfect! Ah, no!

You don't have to be afraid.

I'll be very gentle.

For the last time, no!

Brant.

I would like to stay a virgin

in that department. Come here.

Don't make this difficult! No!

Oh god.

Oh god.

Oh.

Oh no!

This sucks, this sucks.

Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Please start this fuckin' bike

or we're all gonna bite the big one.

Thank you, Jesus.

Okay, fuck, outta bullets.

Fuckin' crazy ass, ninja ass, psychotic fuckin' bitch!

Okay, hi guys.

Biff.

Kaitlin.

Shit.

I know karate.

Let's go.

See, if you had just gone along

with my plan this wouldn't be happening.

It's no help to me, now, is it dude?

Clorissa!

Clorissa, you came back for me.

You're the best sister ever.

Psst.

Please, help me, too.

Goddammit.

What's happening, are we too late?

Not if I can help it.

You and your brother get outta here.

- But-- - Get outta here, goddammit!

All right, you mother fuckers!

This time I'm taking you to Hell myself!

Hey, look, it's Boozer, hey.

Hey, you made it.

You like me now.

You have the keys?

Yeah.

So you wanna go to Denny's?

No.

You sure?

Yeah.

That should help you sleep tonight.

I can't imagine what you've been through.

The whole sorority house is just sick about it.

But on the bright side, looks like you'll

get a 4.0 for the semester.

I'm going to let you get some rest.

Sweet dreams.

What's up, buddy?

Boozer?

Boozer?

No, Boozer, get down, no!

♪ Yo ♪

♪ It's on once more so spread the word to the back ♪

♪ I'm still on the set, fool ♪

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♪ My dedication to your education ♪

♪ Got me wasting all that speed just on my homeboy, Satan ♪

♪ Sometimes I wonder if I should suffer the slings ♪

♪ And arrows you got me catchin' ♪

♪ And go along with the crowd ♪

♪ But let me say it loud I'm the captain of my ship ♪

♪ And if you get your mind equipped we can all make a grip ♪

♪ I'm a let it be known right here is where we stand ♪

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♪ So when you see me in the street, Lo, put away your heat ♪

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♪ So when you see me in the street, Lo, put away your heat ♪

♪ Bounce your head to the beat, show me love, show me love ♪

♪ And when I dip through your town ♪

♪ And make your girl do the round ♪

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♪ And kill my mind's mainframe, Oh ♪

♪ Is for the others that be trying to kill us ♪

♪ Either that or break us down ♪

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♪ Vs for the very vivid picture that's been painted ♪

♪ The world is a ghetto once the side E is tainted ♪

♪ E is for everything that you been taught and heard ♪

♪ And every time you show compassion even though you mashin' ♪

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♪ If you see me in the street, Lo, put away your heat ♪

♪ Bounce your head to the beat, show me love, show me love ♪

♪ And when I dip through your town ♪

♪ And make your girl do the round ♪

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♪ Lost it ♪

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♪ Real life gangstas ♪