Original subtitles

C.J., listen to me!

C.J., listen to me! It's not what you think!

C.J., listen to me! It's not what you think!

It's not what you think! I have a boyfriend!

I have a boyfriend! H-e-e-ey, Margaret!

I have a boyfriend! H-e-e-ey, Margaret!

H-e-e-ey, Margaret!

Come in?

Come in? Uh, Margaret?

Come in? Uh, Margaret? C.J.'S at the door.

Uh, Margaret? C.J.'S at the door. C.J.'S here?

C.J.'S at the door. C.J.'S here? At this apartment?

C.J.'S here? At this apartment? She's at the door to

At this apartment? She's at the door to this apartment, yes.

She's at the door to this apartment, yes.

This apartment, yes. All right, c.J., you've got

All right, c.J., you've got this.

All right, c.J., you've got this. Margaret! Hey!

This. Margaret! Hey! Haven't seen you since I ruined

Margaret! Hey! Haven't seen you since I ruined your dad's party.

Haven't seen you since I ruined your dad's party.

- Your dad's party. - Okay, bad joke.

Okay, bad joke. Look, I just need to say, I'm

Okay, bad joke. Look, I just need to say, I'm really sorry about before...

Look, I just need to say, I'm really sorry about before... And before that...

Really sorry about before... And before that... And... and before that...

And before that... And... and before that... Pretty much the whole time I've

And... and before that... Pretty much the whole time I've known you.

Pretty much the whole time I've known you. B-u-u-ut...

Known you. B-u-u-ut... How well do I know you?

B-u-u-ut... How well do I know you? Let's go on a double date!

How well do I know you? Let's go on a double date! Double date?!

Let's go on a double date! Double date?! Yeah!

Double date?! Yeah! So we can get to know each

Yeah! So we can get to know each other... me and mordecai, you

So we can get to know each other... me and mordecai, you and your boyfriend.

Other... me and mordecai, you and your boyfriend. Double date!

And your boyfriend. Double date! Ohh... Kay.

Double date! Ohh... Kay. I mean, are you sure that's

Ohh... Kay. I mean, are you sure that's okay?

I mean, are you sure that's okay? Mm.

Okay? Mm. We should make it okay.

Mm. We should make it okay. It's important to me that we're

We should make it okay. It's important to me that we're all...

It's important to me that we're all... Heh.

All... Heh. All right, cool.

Heh. All right, cool. Cool! Great!

All right, cool. Cool! Great! It'll be great!

Cool! Great! It'll be great! You're great!

It'll be great! You're great! Okay? Okay.

You're great! Okay? Okay. Okay!

Okay? Okay. Okay! Sideline at 7:00!

Okay! Sideline at 7:00! See you then.

Sideline at 7:00! See you then.

See you then.

Eileen!

- Eileen! - Eil-e-e-e-e-e-een!

Eileen! Eil-e-e-e-e-e-een! I heard your muffled

Eil-e-e-e-e-e-een! I heard your muffled screams.

I heard your muffled screams. What's the matter?

Screams. What's the matter? I made it all up.

What's the matter? I made it all up. I don't have a boyfriend.

I made it all up. I don't have a boyfriend. So you're not dating

I don't have a boyfriend. So you're not dating weekend sports anchor

So you're not dating weekend sports anchor del hanlon?

Weekend sports anchor del hanlon? No...

Del hanlon? No... But saying I did felt like the

No... But saying I did felt like the only way to, um...

But saying I did felt like the only way to, um... Not die?

Only way to, um... Not die? Okay...

Not die? Okay... But why did you agree to that

Okay... But why did you agree to that double-date thing?

But why did you agree to that double-date thing? I don't know!

Double-date thing? I don't know! C.J. Was really excited about

I don't know! C.J. Was really excited about it, so I just went along

C.J. Was really excited about it, so I just went along with it.

It, so I just went along with it. This is really bad.

With it. This is really bad. If they find out I lied, it'll

This is really bad. If they find out I lied, it'll make everybody feel all weird

If they find out I lied, it'll make everybody feel all weird again.

Make everybody feel all weird again. What should I do?

Again. What should I do? Tell the truth.

What should I do? Tell the truth. But then they'll

Tell the truth. But then they'll know I lied!

But then they'll know I lied! Okay, well, that was

Know I lied! Okay, well, that was kind of the only sensible

Okay, well, that was kind of the only sensible option.

Kind of the only sensible option. You could... Ask del hanlon to

Option. You could... Ask del hanlon to pose as your boyfriend?

You could... Ask del hanlon to pose as your boyfriend? >> Tetherballs scream through

Pose as your boyfriend? >> Tetherballs scream through the air, as do the dueling egos

Tetherballs scream through the air, as do the dueling egos of these athletic titans.

The air, as do the dueling egos of these athletic titans. This has been regional

Of these athletic titans. This has been regional junior high tetherball.



This has been regional junior high tetherball. I'm del hanlon, bidding you

Junior high tetherball. I'm del hanlon, bidding you adieu.

I'm del hanlon, bidding you adieu. And cut!

Adieu. >> And cut! >> Ahh! You've done it again,

And cut! >> Ahh! You've done it again, del.

Ahh! You've done it again, del. Ahh.

Del. Ahh. Well, hey, Margaret!

Ahh. Well, hey, Margaret! Eileen.

Well, hey, Margaret! Eileen. What brings you here?

Eileen. What brings you here? Most people just see tetherball

What brings you here? Most people just see tetherball as a more boring version of

Most people just see tetherball as a more boring version of ball-in-a-cup.

As a more boring version of ball-in-a-cup. I do feel that way

Ball-in-a-cup. I do feel that way about tetherball.

I do feel that way about tetherball. But actually, Margaret has a

About tetherball. But actually, Margaret has a favor to ask.

But actually, Margaret has a favor to ask. Yeah...

Favor to ask. Yeah... Could you...

Yeah... Could you... Hand me that water bottle?

Could you... Hand me that water bottle? Hey, you got it!

Hand me that water bottle? Hey, you got it! Thanks!

Hey, you got it! Thanks! Well, that's all I needed.

Thanks! Well, that's all I needed. See you Monday!

Well, that's all I needed. See you Monday! Margaret accidentally

See you Monday! Margaret accidentally called you her boyfriend.

Margaret accidentally called you her boyfriend. Can you pretend to be her date

Called you her boyfriend. Can you pretend to be her date tonight?

Can you pretend to be her date tonight?

Tonight? Eee!

Eee! Ugh.

Eee! Ugh. Yes!

Ugh. Yes! I have always wanted to be an

Yes! I have always wanted to be an actor!

I have always wanted to be an actor! Whew!

Actor! Whew! Wow! Thanks!

Whew! Wow! Thanks! So, how do we know what to say?

Wow! Thanks! So, how do we know what to say? Let's test it out.

So, how do we know what to say? Let's test it out. So... Where'd you guys meet?

Let's test it out. So... Where'd you guys meet? >> Air.

So... Where'd you guys meet? Air. Water.

Air. Water. Ugh. I'm really bad at lying!

Water. Ugh. I'm really bad at lying! I don't know what to do at all.

Ugh. I'm really bad at lying! I don't know what to do at all. I know who can help.

I don't know what to do at all. I know who can help. So, you're telling me

I know who can help. So, you're telling me that I'm meeting at this

So, you're telling me that I'm meeting at this nondescript coffee shop to help

That I'm meeting at this nondescript coffee shop to help you lie to my best friend?

Nondescript coffee shop to help you lie to my best friend? Yeah.

You lie to my best friend? Yeah. But it's to keep him

Yeah. But it's to keep him happy.

But it's to keep him happy. Definitely.

Happy. Definitely. Awesome!

Definitely. Awesome! Well, here's a little something

Awesome! Well, here's a little something I just whipped up.

Well, here's a little something I just whipped up. Give it a once-over, see what

I just whipped up. Give it a once-over, see what you think.

Give it a once-over, see what you think. Some backstory, how you guys

You think. Some backstory, how you guys met...

Some backstory, how you guys met... I don't mean to

Met... I don't mean to criticize, because, I mean, your

I don't mean to criticize, because, I mean, your writing is really good, but this

Criticize, because, I mean, your writing is really good, but this seems too complicated.

Writing is really good, but this seems too complicated. Couldn't we have just met at

Seems too complicated. Couldn't we have just met at work?

Couldn't we have just met at work? I... Love it!

Work? >> I... Love it! It has everything... action,

I... Love it! It has everything... action, intrigue, hot-air balloons!

It has everything... action, intrigue, hot-air balloons! Excellent work, rigby!

Intrigue, hot-air balloons! Excellent work, rigby! Or should I say, director?

Excellent work, rigby! Or should I say, director?

Or should I say, director? Oh-ho-ho!

Oh-ho-ho! See? Del gets it.

Oh-ho-ho! See? Del gets it. If you don't commit to this lie,

See? Del gets it. If you don't commit to this lie, Margaret, they'll see right

If you don't commit to this lie, Margaret, they'll see right through it, and all our lives

Margaret, they'll see right through it, and all our lives will be ruined.

Through it, and all our lives will be ruined.

Will be ruined. I know we just spent 7 hours

I know we just spent 7 hours practicing, but I can't get rid

I know we just spent 7 hours practicing, but I can't get rid of these moths in my stomach!

Practicing, but I can't get rid of these moths in my stomach! Moths?

Of these moths in my stomach! Moths? See? I'm getting the lines

Moths? >> See? I'm getting the lines wrong already!

See? I'm getting the lines wrong already! Look, it doesn't

Wrong already! Look, it doesn't have to be perfect.

Look, it doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be convincing.

Have to be perfect. It just has to be convincing. If one of us goes off-script,

It just has to be convincing. If one of us goes off-script, we'll just go with it, okay,

If one of us goes off-script, we'll just go with it, okay, del?

We'll just go with it, okay, del? I think I love you.

Del? >> I think I love you. See? Acting!

I think I love you. See? Acting! Just like that.

See? Acting! Just like that. How, uh... how you

Just like that. How, uh... how you feeling?

How, uh... how you feeling? Fine.

Feeling? Fine. So, you're sure you

Fine. So, you're sure you want to do this?

So, you're sure you want to do this? 'Cause we don't have to do this.

Want to do this? 'Cause we don't have to do this. We can still cancel.

'Cause we don't have to do this. We can still cancel. I'm gonna cancel.

We can still cancel. I'm gonna cancel. Shh! They're here!

I'm gonna cancel. Shh! They're here! Hey!

Shh! They're here! Hey! Oh, hi!

Hey! Oh, hi! Hey, there...

Oh, hi! Hey, there... >> Del.

Hey, there... >> Del. Mordecai.

Del. Mordecai. I think I've seen you on TV.

Mordecai. I think I've seen you on TV. Please, tonight I am not

I think I've seen you on TV. >> Please, tonight I am not "del, sports anchor."

Please, tonight I am not "del, sports anchor." I'm del, Margaret's boyfriend!

"Del, sports anchor." I'm del, Margaret's boyfriend! That's... that's

I'm del, Margaret's boyfriend! That's... that's cool.

That's... that's cool. Oh, hey, we're sitting.

- Cool. - Oh, hey, we're sitting.

- Oh, hey, we're sitting. - We're all here!

We're all here! Yep, yep. We are.

We're all here! Yep, yep. We are. So, del, Margaret, did

Yep, yep. We are. So, del, Margaret, did you guys meet at work, or...?

So, del, Margaret, did you guys meet at work, or...? Oh, it's a funny story.

You guys meet at work, or...? Oh, it's a funny story. It's a funny story.

Oh, it's a funny story. It's a funny story. So, there I was, studying abroad

It's a funny story. So, there I was, studying abroad in the jungle, when... bam!...

So, there I was, studying abroad in the jungle, when... bam!... A lion pops out of a lion-hole.

In the jungle, when... bam!... A lion pops out of a lion-hole. And then it roared, so I ran.

A lion pops out of a lion-hole. And then it roared, so I ran. I ran and ran and ran.

And then it roared, so I ran. I ran and ran and ran. Luckily, there was a hot-air

I ran and ran and ran. Luckily, there was a hot-air balloon there.

Luckily, there was a hot-air balloon there. Because there was a

Balloon there. >> Because there was a hot-air-balloon rental place.

Because there was a hot-air-balloon rental place. Yeah, I hopped in

Hot-air-balloon rental place. Yeah, I hopped in and flew away, but then I saw

Yeah, I hopped in and flew away, but then I saw it... another hot-air balloon!

And flew away, but then I saw it... another hot-air balloon! >> That was me.

It... another hot-air balloon! That was me. That was me.

That was me. That was me. I was being attacked, uh, by

That was me. I was being attacked, uh, by birds.