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1
00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:05,995
(TIRES SCREECHING)
2
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:08,547
In this land of ours,
there are many great pits,
3
00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:11,126
but none more bottomless
than the Bottomless Pit,
4
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,382
which as you can see here,
is bottomless.
5
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:16,964
Question. Is it bottomless?
6
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:20,426
(SIGHS) Kids, could one of you
try explaining this to Soos?
7
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,311
Grunkle Stan, why are we here, again?
8
00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:24,267
To dispose of things that we don't want.
9
00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:26,773
So long,
Mystery Shack suggestion cards.
10
00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:29,606
Goodbye, creepy love letters
from Lil Gideon.
11
00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:31,732
(GRUNTING) Die! Die!
12
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,606
(GRUNTING)
13
00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:34,610
What are you doing?
14
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:37,284
Throwing stuff, dude.
Everyone's doing it!
15
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,029
(GRUNTING)
16
00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:41,330
What you got there, Mabel?
17
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,705
(CHUCKLES) It's just my personal box
of mysterious secrets.
18
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,207
Nothing worth wondering about!
19
00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:48,332
(LAUGHS)
20
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:49,459
(GRUNTS)
21
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,632
Goodbye forever!
22
00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:54,635
Grunkle Stan, do I really have to be
the one to point out
23
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:57,672
that a bottomless pit is,
by definition, impossible?
24
00:00:58,308 --> 00:00:59,514
Says you!
25
00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:01,141
Well, I guess we'll never know.
26
00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:02,593
(WIND WHOOSHING)
27
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:07,481
Aah! It's some sort of invisible
pushing force!
28
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:09,896
Quick! Everyone back to the Shack!
29
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,986
I'm not done getting rid of these yet!
30
00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:14,313
(GRUNTS)
31
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:15,902
Grunkle Stan! No!
32
00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:19,201
Almost. Almost. Almost.
33
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:22,621
(ALL SCREAMING)
34
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,033
(BLEATS)
35
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,210
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
36
00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:07,583
(ALL SCREAMING)
37
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:13,834
(SCREAMING STOPS)
38
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,132
(wmo BLOWING)
39
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,673
So, anyone wanna scream some more?
40
00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:20,345
Where are we?
41
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:24,721
We're somewhere
where it looks like we're nowhere.
42
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:26,472
(LAUGHS)
43
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:28,099
We're gonna land
on something eventually.
44
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:29,601
Could be any second now!
45
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,070
Well, it looks like we're down here
for the long haul.
46
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,652
Who wants to see some card tricks?
47
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:43,827
Ta-da!
48
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,038
Hey! Maybe we should pass the time
by tellin' stories.
49
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:48,115
I've got a story!
50
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:51,794
It's called the time Grunkle Stan got
us all thrown into a bottomless pit,
51
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,954
where we spent
the rest of our natural lives!
52
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:56,624
Go on.
53
00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:58,884
Come on, Dipper,
you can do better than that.
54
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:01,133
Fine. I'll tell you a story.
55
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:04,306
A story I'd like to call, "Voice Over."
56
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,633
(THUNDER CRACKLING)
57
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:07,392
Ready?
58
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,178
ALL: Spin the pig!
59
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:10,474
Whoa'!
60
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,855
Hey, Grunkle Stan,
ever kissed a pig before?
61
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,277
I'm not gonna answer that question.
62
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,739
Guys! Guys!
I think I just got bit by a snake!
63
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,737
I need you to get me to a hospital quick!
64
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,031
(LAUGHING)
65
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,411
What? What's so funny?
66
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,910
Sorry, it's just hard
to focus on what you're saying
67
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:30,916
with that squeaky
puberty voice you got there.
68
00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:32,163
My What?
69
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:34,040
It's nothing to be ashamed of, Dipper.
70
00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:36,748
Your voice is hilarious.
71
00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:39,174
Are you saying my voice cracks?
My voice doesn't crack.
72
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:40,251
Dude, no offense,
73
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,632
but it cracks so much we've already
made a techno remix out of it.
74
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:45,305
(RAPPING) Nice to meet you
My name's Dipper Pines
75
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,342
Pines, Pines, Pines
Nice to meet you
76
00:03:47,519 --> 00:03:48,475
Pines, Pines, Pines
77
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:50,056
Do I really sound like that?
78
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:51,888
Oh, here comes my favorite part!
79
00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:53,939
(HIGH-PITCHED) Stop it, guys!
80
00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:55,858
(ALL LAUGHING)
81
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,525
Give me that! (GRUNTING)
82
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:00,938
ALL: Spin the pig!
83
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:04,074
(SIGHING)
84
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,235
Ugh! Even my sighs sound weird.
85
00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:07,570
-Hello there!
-Ahhh!
86
00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:10,038
I couldn't help but overhear
yer sitchy-ation!
87
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:13,368
Old Man McGucket! (SPITS)
Part-time inventor!
88
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,873
Why did you spit on your hand?
89
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,169
I don't rightly know!
90
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:19,624
Hey, I remember you!
Your robot almost killed me!
91
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:22,543
Come here! Follow me into this dark,
dangerous alley!
92
00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:26,847
Lately I been a-tinkerizin'
with a voice-altering tonic,
93
00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:30,016
on account of my horrifyin' voice!
94
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,933
(CRYING)
95
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:36,811
You can run,
but I'll still be in yer nightmares!
96
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:38,934
This will really fix my voice? Thanks!
97
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,150
(GULPING) Ah!
98
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:45,653
Come mornin',
you'll sound like a new man!
99
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:47,863
If you survive.
100
00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:49,994
(ROOSTER CROWING)
101
00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:52,998
(YAWNS)
102
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,328
(IN DEEP VICE) Good morning, Dipper.
103
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:01,795
I did it! I did it!
104
00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:04,468
Now I have a new voice!
105
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:06,215
(HEARTY LAUGHTER)
106
00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:10,470
Morning, Mabel.
Who's my favorite Mabel?
107
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,517
-Ahhh! Who are you?
-(GROANING)
108
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,311
What have you done with my brother?
109
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:17,314
Dipper! I'll save you
from this body-switching warlock!
110
00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:21,815
Mabel, it's me! This is my voice now.
I sound awesome.
111
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:24,063
Sound awesome.
112
00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:28,906
I knew boys' voices changed,
but this is weird. Weird and bad.
113
00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:32,288
Mabel, this is the best thing
that ever happened to me.
114
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,706
And just think of the prank calls.
115
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:37,993
-MAN: Hello?
-Hello.
116
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:41,422
This is the President
of the United States of America.
117
00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,123
I'm calling to tell you...
118
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,334
(BLOWING RASPBERRY)
119
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:46,919
What? Who is this?
120
00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:48,094
Ho-ho-ho!
121
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:49,671
Magnificent!
122
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,636
Mabel no like.
123
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:56,436
How you diddly doing, Soos?
124
00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,980
-Kill it! Kill it with fire! Everyone flee!
-(GROANING)
125
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,648
(CLAMORING)
126
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,064
What gives, man?
127
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,396
You guys all made fun of my old voice.
128
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,481
I thought you'd like the new one.
129
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,988
Dude, at least before
you sounded like a real person.
130
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,027
Now you sound like some kind
of weird commercial dude.
131
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:15,865
I'll find Stan.
He'll like my new voice. You'll see!
132
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:18,283
I'll be right back after these messages.
133
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,585
Er... I mean, goodbye.
134
00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,005
Grunkle Stan. Grunkle Stan!
135
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,628
Where are you, Grunkle Stan?
136
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,918
Huh? I'd know that voice anywhere!
137
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,553
You're the guy
who prank-called me earlier!
138
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:32,135
(GROWLING)
139
00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:34,967
No. No, I'm not.
I'm just a 12-year-old boy!
140
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:38,053
You expect me to believe that,
you crazy-voiced punk?
141
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,559
Wait! No!
142
00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:41,014
(SCREAMS)
143
00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:44,314
There's a prank caller on the loose!
Let's get him!
144
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,190
Yeah! Come on! Come on, let's get him!
145
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:48,150
Oh! Oh!
146
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,280
Whoa!
147
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,112
escape!
148
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,493
(LAUGHING)
149
00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:00,497
McGucket!
Your invention was a catastrophe!
150
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:02,953
That's probably why I live in the dump!
151
00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:04,288
(MIMICS DRUMROLL)
152
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,623
My own sister didn't recognize me.
153
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:11,341
I scared away crowds!
I even sound ridiculous when I cry.
154
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:12,421
(CRYING)
155
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:13,964
Well, now, here's yer problem!
156
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:15,845
I gave you the wrong drink y-ma jig!
157
00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:17,972
This one's for voice-over professional.
158
00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:21,889
Ah! I'm sure I've got a better voice
in here somewhere.
159
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,314
Good! Hurry up.
160
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:26,022
You got here just in time.
161
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:29,355
Come sundown, you'd have reverted
back to your ridiculous old voice.
162
00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:32,195
It was ridiculous, wasn't it?
163
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,951
D-D-D-Dipper Pines, that's me
164
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,283
MABEL:
This remix is dedicated to my brother.
165
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:39,706
Dipper, your voice is one of a kind.
166
00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:42,751
SOOS: Dude, I never heard
anything like it. Remix over!
167
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,082
(MIMICS EXPLOSION)
168
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:48,499
You ready for yer new voice?
This one should be permanent!
169
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:56,181
DIPPER: Ahem!
170
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:57,932
(INHALES DEEPLY)
171
00:07:58,186 --> 00:07:59,597
-(NORMAL VOICE) Hey, guys.
-Dipper!
172
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,929
-Oh, dude, you're back!
-(CHUCKLING)
173
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:06,016
Yeah. I guess I realized that even
though my voice might not be perfect,
174
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,227
it's still mine and
I wouldn't change it for anything.
175
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:10,316
Not even for whatever
was in this new vial.
176
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,739
So what did you do
with the rest of that potion?
177
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,237
I dumped it in Stan's coffee.
178
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,243
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Any of you kids seen my girdle?
179
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:17,444
Where my girdle at?
180
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:19,287
(LAUGHING)
181
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,116
What? What's so funny?
I'm Grunkle Stan!
182
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:24,993
Kids laughin'. Laughin' at their grunkle.
183
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:29,961
I spy, with my little eye,
something that is black!
184
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,041
Ooh! Ooh!
185
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:33,377
-Everything.
-Yay for Soos!
186
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:34,802
STAN: Yay for Soos!
187
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,427
Hey, guys! Who wants to pass
the time by spinning?
188
00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:39,091
Everyone, spin!
189
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:40,220
No.
190
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:41,302
-Whee!
-(SCREAMING)
191
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:42,473
(CHUCKLING)
192
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:45,556
-Whee! (LAUGHING)
-Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
193
00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:46,936
Dipper's pain is funny.
194
00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:50,019
But I'm starting to get bored.
Soos, tell a story.
195
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:51,106
Really? Okay.
196
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,237
This story is called,
197
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:55,191
-"Soos' Really Great Pinball Story."
-(DIPPER SCREAMING)
198
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:56,366
Is that a good title?
199
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:58,660
Do they have to be, like,
puns or whatever?
200
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:02,956
-(HORSE NEIGHING)
-(GUNSHOTS)
201
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,079
BOTH: Go! Go! GO!
202
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:06,160
This is it, dudes.
203
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:07,585
After four long years of trying,
204
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:11,131
I might finally get the high score
on Stan's creepy old pinball machine.
205
00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:12,207
If I do this,
206
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:13,667
I'll go down in pinball history
207
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:17,130
with the likes
of Sal, Gaff, and, of course, Poo.
208
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:20,049
Have you ever tried, maybe,
just tilting the machine?
209
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:23,181
I don't know, dudes. Isn't breaking
the rules, like, against the rules?
210
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,558
Nuts to the rules! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt!
211
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,226
-(GUNSHOT)
-(NEIGHING)
212
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,391
Failure. You stink!
213
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:31,605
All right, that's it. Ready, kids?
214
00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:35,022
BOTH: Tilt! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt!
215
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,111
Quit tiltin', pardner. Quit tiltin', pardner.
216
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:38,192
Tilt!
217
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,068
Bull's-eye!
218
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:42,154
(GUNSHOTS)
219
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:44,205
New high score.
220
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:45,787
-Yeah.
-Yes! All right!
221
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:47,868
This is the best moment of my life.
222
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,704
This totally beats my old best moment.
223
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:59,338
That ain't right. You cheated.
224
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,306
Oh, yeah?
What are you gonna do about it?
225
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:04,931
You're just a pinball game,
pinball game. Taunt, taunt.
226
00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:08,309
Uh, guys? There's an awful lot of green
lightning coming out of that game.
227
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,315
No, that's the normal amount
of green lightning.
228
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:11,483
(CRACKLING)
229
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:12,976
(ALL SCREAMING)
230
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:17,860
(BELLS RINGING)
231
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:20,070
(GROANS) Five more minutes.
232
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:24,199
Aah! That's not a normal alarm clock.
233
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:26,452
Soos! We're inside the game!
234
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,163
-Crazy.
-Sweet Moses!
235
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:31,666
Hushed exclamation of wonder.
236
00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:33,208
(MABEL GASPS)
237
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:34,334
(ALL LAUGHING)
238
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:36,375
Awesome!
239
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:38,468
Being! Being! Being!
240
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:39,966
(LAUGHING)
241
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:43,264
Dude, if this is a dream,
I never wanna wake up!
242
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,892
That can be arranged.
243
00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:50,146
Welcome to
Tumbleweed Terror, pardners!
244
00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:51,940
(GUNSHOTS)
245
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,438
Hey, it's the skeleton cowboy guy.
246
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:55,731
Did you zap me into your game
247
00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,654
to congratulate me
on getting the high score?
248
00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:58,901
I beat Poo, dude.
249
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:02,109
Hardly. If'n I do recall,
I warned y'all not to cheat.
250
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:03,818
I tried to be gentleman-like.
251
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,528
But I'm plum sick of being tilted.
252
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:06,658
(CLANGING)
253
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:09,412
So now I reckon I'm gonna tilt you.
254
00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:12,790
Oh, yeah? Well, take this! Ow!
255
00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,000
And this! Ow! It hurts!
256
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:17,457
I wish this was working better! Oh, dude!
257
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,801
-BOTH: Soos!
-(COWBOY SKELETON LAUGHING)
258
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,921
Get yourselves ready for the...
259
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:23,346
(NEIGHING)
260
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:24,389
-Multi-ball!
-Multi-ball!
261
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:25,390
Multi-ball!
262
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:28,385
(COWBOY SKELETON
LAUGHING EVILLY)
263
00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:29,803
(ALL SCREAMING)
264
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:30,888
Over there!
265
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,188
(PANTING)
266
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:33,314
COWBOY SKELETON: Where are you?
267
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:36,359
I'm not done teachin' you
a lesson about cheating yet!
268
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:37,811
How are we ever gonna get out of here?
269
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,146
-Think, guys!
-I'm trying-
270
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:42,278
But it's hard with that gorgeous
pinball wench distracting me.
271
00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,118
(CHUCKLING)
272
00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:47,366
Okay, don't worry, guys.
273
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:48,822
I know every inch of this machine.
274
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:50,953
There's a manual power switch inside.
275
00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:52,910
I can sneak in there
and turn off the game.
276
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,621
But we'll have to distract
the cowboy guy.
277
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,380
Are either of you good
at jumping up and down
278
00:11:57,592 --> 00:11:59,333
and making annoying noises?
279
00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:02,468
My time has come.
280
00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:06,343
All right, let's go, Soos. Soos?
281
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,426
So are you, like,
doing anything later or...
282
00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:10,344
Right.
283
00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:12,478
Come on out
and show yourselves, varmints!
284
00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:13,809
Hey! Hey! Hey!
285
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:17,309
Listen to me and look at what I'm doing!
286
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,189
(MIMICKING AIRPLANE)
287
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:21,355
(BLOWING RASPBERRY)
288
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:22,655
Somethin' ain't right here.
289
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,858
-MABEL: Distraction! Distraction!
-(DIPPER HUMMING)
290
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,989
-Let me see where this is goin'.
-MABEL: La, la, la, la...
291
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,164
(GRUNTING)
292
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,501
Oh! (GASPS)
293
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,426
(LAUGHING) Yippee-ti-yi.
294
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:45,424
What? Where are ya?
295
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,130
(GRUNTING)
296
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,932
Darn it, I wish I had a neck!
297
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:57,474
Soos! Psst! What's going on?
Just press the switch already!
298
00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,602
Okay, so I was gonna do that,
but I've been thinking.
299
00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:02,153
According to this, turning off the power
300
00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:03,813
erases the high score permanently.
301
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:06,445
That score is, like,
my one big life accomplishment.
302
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,073
What? If you don't hurry up,
we could die in here!
303
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,701
Fair point. But, what is life anyway,
304
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:14,157
when compared to
the immortality of a high score?
305
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,833
Soos! Are you out of your...
306
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:17,165
COWBOY SKELETON: There y'all are.
307
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,668
Get ready to meet yer maker, kids!
308
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:24,343
My maker is Ballway Games
in Redmond, Washington.
309
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,629
(YELLING)
310
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:30,302
(BOTH SCREAMING)
311
00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:31,474
Mabel!
312
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:35,770
Soos!
313
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,347
MABEL: Soos, please!
314
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,015
Turn it off!
315
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,145
Uh...
316
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:41,317
(BOTH SCREAMING)
317
00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:43,190
Goodbye, high score!
318
00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:44,654
(GRUNTS)
319
00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:45,776
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
320
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:57,662
(BOTH GASPING)
321
00:13:57,879 --> 00:13:58,789
(GASPING)
322
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:00,287
Oh, you dudes okay?
323
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,713
Yeah, Soos. You did it! You freed us!
324
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,542
Hey, man, I'm sorry
you had to lose your high score.
325
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:08,087
That's okay.
I got a new life accomplishment now.
326
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:09,508
Saving you dudes.
327
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:10,592
-BOTH: Aw!
-(SOOS CHUCKLING)
328
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,174
You think that pinball wench
will call me?
329
00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:17,520
I can't believe this nonsense!
330
00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:20,190
Magic tonics?
Soos winning at something?
331
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,648
Where do you come up with this stuff?
I'll tell you a good story.
332
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,151
It's called "Grunkle Stan
Wins the Football Bowl."
333
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,491
(GRUNTING)
334
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:31,488
(LAUGHS)
335
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,074
Mr. Pines.
336
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:36,456
I thought old folks were useless,
337
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:39,580
but you taught me
and my gloating friends a lesson.
338
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:40,706
(CHEERING)
339
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,622
Here's your football
winning trophy, Mr. Pines!
340
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:45,047
Thanks, beautiful woman,
341
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:48,547
but I couldn't have done it
without my sidekick, foot-bot.
342
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:51,589
Thank you for building me, Daddy.
343
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:54,511
(ALL LAUGHING)
344
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:55,842
I love you, Stan.
345
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,302
-(ALL JEERING)
-I'm incredulous.
346
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,845
-Come on! Ridiculous!
-Come on, that was really dumb!
347
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,851
What? That story was great.
348
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,933
I even threw in
a talking robot for the kids.
349
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:06,270
Yeah, yeah,
I'm gonna tell a non-terrible story.
350
00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:08,772
A story called "Trooth Ache!"
351
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,660
This attraction
is gonna make me a fortune!
352
00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:17,910
Easy with that bear, Corduroy!
I need him in showroom condition!
353
00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:19,036
(ROARING)
354
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,788
No! No!
355
00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:23,162
Aw! They're hugging!
356
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:24,621
So let me get this straight.
357
00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:27,587
Your plan is to teach this bear
to ride a bicycle?
358
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,627
Nah. Come on.
Everyone's seen a bicycle-riding bear.
359
00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:34,173
No, no.
I'm gonna teach this bear to drive!
360
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:36,474
(TIRES SCREECHING)
361
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:39,553
And the yellow light means speed up.
362
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:40,887
(SIREN WAILING)
363
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,063
Uh-oh!
364
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,814
What seems to be
the problem, Officers?
365
00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:48,019
(ROARING)
366
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:51,822
Now there had better be
a darn good explanation for this.
367
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:52,990
Oh, there is.
368
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:56,620
You see, I'm a very old man,
not long for this earth,
369
00:15:56,831 --> 00:15:58,947
and the doctor's assigned me
a seeing-eye bear
370
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:01,454
to drive me to the hospital
in case of emergencies.
371
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,582
Is that right?
Then where's your doctor's note?
372
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:08,044
Why, it's right here, inside my jacket!
373
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:09,541
Ah! There you go!
374
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:15,547
Well, I can't argue
with Doctor Medicine.
375
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:17,382
To the hospital, honeypants!
376
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:18,550
(ROARS)
377
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:25,686
Grunkle Stan,
how could you lie to those policemen?
378
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:28,064
Don't you know lying is always wrong?
379
00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:29,769
Mabel, when you get to be my age,
380
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,855
you'll learn that sometimes you have
to bend the truth
381
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,030
for the greater good.
382
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:35,363
Hey, has anyone seen
my plate of spaghetti?
383
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:36,443
(SLURPS)
384
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:40,656
No. But I bet Soos has.
You know how he likes to eat.
385
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,792
This is a dark day.
Thanks, Grunkle Stan!
386
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:45,910
See? Greater good.
387
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,086
Ahh!
388
00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:52,880
Waddles, what am I gonna do
about Grunkle Stan?
389
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:54,794
(DEEP VOICE) He needs to stop lying.
390
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,054
(NORMAL VOICE) I know!
But how do we stop him?
391
00:16:57,308 --> 00:17:00,175
(DEEP VOICE) Maybe you should check
Dipper's journal. Oink, oink.
392
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,976
(NORMAL VOICE)
Say "Oink" one more time.
393
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:03,053
(DEEP VOICE) Oink, oink.
394
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:04,854
(NORMAL VOICE)
Waddles, you genius!
395
00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:10,685
"Buried 'neath a tree stump in
the deep forest are Truth Teeth,
396
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:13,943
"which force upon the wearer
an inability to lie."
397
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:15,698
Hmm...
398
00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:18,489
(SNORING)
399
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,087
What's going on? What? Mabel?
400
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:40,139
Quick question. What happened
to Dipper's spaghetti plate?
401
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:42,596
I ate it because I have
little to no concern
402
00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:45,679
for other people's possessions
or emotions.
403
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:48,390
Huh. That was strangely candid.
404
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:52,022
Almost as if I'm unable to lie.
Well, goodnight!
405
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:53,812
(SNORING)
406
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:55,780
(INAUDIBLE)
407
00:17:55,992 --> 00:17:58,575
You what?
That seems like a horrible idea!
408
00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:01,118
It's great! Now he has to tell the truth.
409
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:02,495
Hmm.
410
00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:04,447
Scrambled meat, here it is.
411
00:18:04,959 --> 00:18:08,122
Stan, what do you do in secret
every day during your lunch break?
412
00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:09,710
Usually I spend the hour
413
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,713
aggressively scratching myself
in places I shouldn't mention.
414
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,586
Now I'm going to avoid
making eye contact
415
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,342
by pretending to read this newspaper.
416
00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:18,670
And go to the bathroom
without washing my hands.
417
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,129
BOTH: Ew!
418
00:18:20,391 --> 00:18:21,506
Well, that was disturbing.
419
00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:24,809
Don't worry, Dipper.
The truth is always a good thing.
420
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:28,855
Excuse me.
Do you think this T-shirt is my size?
421
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:31,273
Never mind the T-shirt! Hey, everybody!
422
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:33,977
Look at this guy's abnormal
and unattractive face!
423
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,152
(SHOCKED REACTIONS)
424
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:36,779
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
425
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,111
Doing my taxes.
426
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:42,868
Uh, Grunkle Stan,
why did you write this?
427
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:45,747
Because I regularly
commit massive tax fraud.
428
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,867
Might wanna tuck that one away there.
429
00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:51,039
(VOCALIZING)
430
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:52,211
Oh, no!
431
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:54,710
(BOTH LAUGHING)
432
00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:57,587
Sometimes I think, "Is this all there is?"
433
00:18:57,762 --> 00:19:00,470
"Is life just some kind of
horrific joke without a punch line?
434
00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:02,213
"That we're all just biding our time
435
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:04,640
"until the sweet, sweet,
release of death?"
436
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:07,722
(SHUDDERS)
437
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:09,349
(TV SHOW CONTINUES)
438
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:16,562
Kids! I think I have a growth
forming on my back!
439
00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:18,738
Just wanted to be honest with you guys!
440
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:19,859
I can't take it anymore, Mabel!
441
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,817
You have to take those teeth
out of his mouth.
442
00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:23,822
But then he'd be a liar again!
443
00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:25,995
Could it possibly be
any worse that this?
444
00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:27,368
(DOORBELL RINGS)
445
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:29,369
So after further investigation,
446
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:33,203
turns out there is no
Doctor Medicine in Gravity Falls.
447
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:35,834
You better have
a durn good explanation for this!
448
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,462
Oh, and I do! You see, I lied to you.
449
00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:40,968
In addition,
I've been parking in handicap spaces,
450
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,386
shoplifting fireworks
451
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:45,761
and smuggling endangered animals
across multiple state lines.
452
00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:46,807
Also, you're fat.
453
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,765
Is all this true?
454
00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:53,143
No! No, it's not true! Right, Mabel?
455
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:57,694
Uh... Sirs, I have to be completely
and totally honest with you.
456
00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:01,023
Our Great Uncle Stan is...
457
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:04,859
(GROWLING)
458
00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:08,913
Stan is secretly a crime fiction writer!
459
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:10,990
-What?
-(CHUCKLING) Yeah!
460
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,917
He was just telling you
about a character
461
00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:15,917
from his upcoming page-turner,
Crime Grandpa!
462
00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:17,964
He's never committed a crime in his life!
463
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:21,129
Also, have you lost weight?
464
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:22,672
(CHUCKLING)
465
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,721
Well! Finally someone noticed.
466
00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:28,470
Wow! An author!
Can you teach me how to read?
467
00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:29,847
What? Author?
468
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:33,646
(CHUCKLING) Writers!
Masters of fiction. Goodnight, Officers!
469
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:34,809
(SIGHS)
470
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,265
Hey, you all right?
471
00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:37,934
I can't believe I lied.
472
00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:40,521
Mabel, it was for the greater good.
473
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,447
Yeah. The greater good.
474
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:44,115
STAN: Hello, police station?
475
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:49,075
Yeah, I forgot to tell 'em
about my tax fraud. No, tax fraud.
476
00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:52,411
-DIPPER: Get 'em out!
-What's gotten into you kids?
477
00:20:53,169 --> 00:20:55,706
We have to find a place
to get rid of these.
478
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,124
(GRUNTING)
479
00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:03,172
And I never saw that box
full of magical teeth again.
480
00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:05,003
Oh, wait! There it is.
481
00:21:06,015 --> 00:21:07,050
(ALL GROAN)
482
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:09,014
Oh, sweet! My shoes!
483
00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:12,636
I liked the part with the bear.
The rest seemed pretty far-fetched.
484
00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:14,971
Mabel, we already know that story.
We just lived through it.
485
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:17,023
So if we're living through
that story right now,
486
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:18,269
then how does it end?
487
00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:20,068
Guys, do you see that?
488
00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:23,983
Oh, what is that?
489
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,782
-Oh, no!
-Where are we going?
490
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:28,451
-That doesn't look good.
-(ALL SCREAMING)
491
00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:32,329
(BLEATING)
492
00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:33,906
(SCREAMING)
493
00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:36,492
(GROANING) Where are we?
494
00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:38,749
(GASPING) Look! The Shack!
495
00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:43,008
Which means we came
right back out the top!
496
00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:45,755
And I don't think any time has passed.
497
00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:47,928
It must be some kind of worm-hole.
498
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,381
Yeah, dude, that sounds
sciency enough to be true.
499
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:53,426
(STAMMERS) But that's impossible!
No one will believe us!
500
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:56,889
Maybe this is one story
we should keep to ourselves.
501
00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:58,268
ALL: Agreed.
502
00:21:59,109 --> 00:22:01,225
-(wool> CREAKING)
-(STAN SCREAMING)
503
00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:03,444
He'll be fine.
504
00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:18,584
(SIGHS)
505
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:32,006
This is stupid.
36268
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