Original subtitles

Three cheers for Freakazoid.

Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray!

Hip hip hooray!

Thanks, Freakazoid.

You saved the lives of everyone in the city.

As well as the entire free world.

And on behalf of the United Kingdom...

...I want to personally thank you, Freakazoid, in a very personal way...

...if you catch my drift.

Yeah, well, cool your jets, princess, and wait your turn.

- He's taken. - Sharon.

Why, you tramp.

Who you calling a tramp, you stuck up little...?

How dare you.

Come on, yeah. Right now. Dl: I'm not afraid of you. How dare you?

Ow!

Dl: I am not accustomed to your style nor your manner:

Now, ladies, ladies, calm down. There is plenty of me for everybody.

If not, I'll just have them draw me bigger.

This was without a doubt the most exciting Freakavoid...

Let me try this again.

Take two.

This was without a doubt...

...the most exciting Freakazoid adventure of all time.

Hey, kids, sorry you missed it, but I got started early today.

But tell me, Freakazoid...

...how did you know how to deactivate this 800-megaton nuclear warhead?

Simple. I read the instruction manual.

See? You just raise the plunger to deactivate the warhead...

...and you push the plunger to reactivate it.

Ooh, boy. That was about as stupid as me raising taxes.

Allow me to be the first one to say "ouch. "

Mm. Hello, kiddies.

I'm the network censor...

...and I just want to assure our young viewers out there...

...that no one was hurt in the previous scene.

Everyone is okay.

Including me.

Oof!

The aliens may bring to us the wisdom of the universe.

If not, we'll blast them.

I am Mo-Ron.

I come with a important message...

...for all mankind.

And what is that message?

I am Mo-Ron.

Do you come in peace or war?

Ooh!

Muh...

I am Mo-Ron.

What is your purpose here?

Oh!

I am Mo-Ron.

Blast him.

Uh, let me try something.

Tell us, what is two plus two?

Twenty-two.

I am Mo-Ron.

We can pretty much rule out the wisdom of the universe.

Then let's blast him.

Twenty-three?

Mm. Hello again. I'm the network censor.

And before I was so rudely interrupted...

...I just wanted to say that no one was hurt in the previous scene.

Oh.

Ugh!

He feels no pain He can fly quite fast

In feats of strength He is unsurpassed

His grip is firm Never quavery

Britannia's superhero He's Lord Bravery

Lord Bravery, Lord Bravery

Lord Bravery

Oh, let's just get on with it.

Nigel, the tea's ready.

Nigel, the tea.

- Nigel. - Ouch!

I thought he was impervious to pain.

I am impervious to...

Do I take it the ficus hurled at my head was meant as some sort of signal?

- The tea's ready. - Then get it.

Well, you are up, darling.

Oh, yes, let me get the tea.

I'd hate to see either of you actually have to walk the 3 feet...

...into this frightening, mysterious new world we call a kitchen.

You might get lost or attacked by the dishwasher.

Your tea.

You forgot the sugar.

Most people your age die. Why won't you?

There's no need to be rude, Nigel.

Not being rude, darling. Merely a suggestion.

Why doesn't he get a job?

This is my job, you old bat.

If I don't monitor the emergency frequencies...

...I won't know who needs rescuing.

Mother does have a point, Nigel.

This superhero business doesn't seem to be paying off.

Well, not yet, but it will.

You think Superman started right at the top?

Yes.

Well, yes, he did, he did, but not the others.

It takes years to establish yourself as a superhero.

All the same, a little less time listening to your radios...

...and more time spent rescuing people might be better.

Well, what do you expect me to do...

...just fly around all day looking for people to save?

Good idea. And get some milk while you're at it.

And some sugar.

Oh, and, Nigel, some chickpeas for the salad.

And bouillon cubes.

Yes, Mother needs her bouillon cubes.

And some sticky buns. Don't forget the sticky buns.

"Don't forget the sticky buns. "

Help!

Ah!

Help!

Help!

It's all right, my good man.

Fear not, Lord Bravery has arrived.

Young boy, right, okay, right. Here's a video camera.

Be a good lad and get a few shots of me rescuing the man from that hole, all right?

A nice wide shot, not too much headroom and a nice background...

Help!

Yes, yes, we have heard you. We're not deaf, you know.

What was I saying? Yes, uh, not too much headroom...

...and try to keep the camera from shaking, okay?

Ready?

I'll find you, you little...

- Help! - Would you stop yelling?

Sorry.

All right, all right. What's the problem?

I fell in this hole. I'm trapped.

Fine, hold on. I'll come and get you.

- What's that smell? - I think I fell in the sewer.

The sew...? Oh! Well, can't you climb out?

If I could climb out, I wouldn't be yelling "help," now, would I?

Well, you could have at least yelled, "Help, I'm trapped in a sewer. "

- What would that have done? - Saved me a trip.

Do you think you could get me Superman?

Oh, Superman? What do you need with him?

I'm a superhero, aren't I?

I don't know. Are you?

Yes, I told you.

I said, "Fear not, Lord Bravery has arrived. "

Oh, I thought that was a joke.

A joke?

Yeah, you know, to keep me from focusing on my horrible pain.

- Yes, well, it's not a joke. - Good, because it didn't work.

Look, I'm going to throw a rope down to you.

A rope? I thought you were gonna come get me.

From the sewer?

Superman would do it.

Well, he's not here.

Could you go get him?

Look, just grab onto the rope and I'll pull you up.

Or maybe you could get those turtle fellows with the bandannas.

I don't think they'd mind the stench down here too much.

In fact, I think they'd rather like it.

You are a remarkable twit. Do you know that?

In fact, I think those turtles live in the sewers.

Listen, would you please stop talking and just grab onto the rope, all right?

Whoa!

Do you want to call for Superman or should I?

Oh, fine.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled program...

...to bring you this special report from The WB Network.

What exactly is The WB?

Can someone tell me this? What's it mean, "The WB"?

The water bucket? The wimpy boy?

The wet bananas? I don't know what.

The weird butt? What? I'm asking.

This has been a special report from the Weird Butt Network.

We now join Freakazoid, already in progress.

That's Uranus.

Greetings, inhabitants of planet Earth.

Uh, greetings.

I have traveled many millions of light-years across 40 billion galaxies to come here...

...for the answer to a vital question that concerns the entire universe.

And what is that question?

Please tell us:

That doll, Barbie, what's the name of her little sister?

Hey, all I can think of is Pebbles.

Let me handle this.

It's Skipper.

Skipper.

Huh.

Hey, everyone, it's Skipper.

I am Mo-Ron.

Now, knock that off.

Oh, now I've hurt his feelings. Hey, I'm sorry.

Mo-Ron forgive.

Lucky me.

And now...

This concludes our musical interlude.

We now return to our program.

And now...

Candid conversations with the superheroes of yesteryear.

Aquaman is staring at Zippy's food, so Zippy the fast boy says:

"Hey, I'm having the shrimp scampi here. "

And Aquaman says, "That ain't no shrimp scampi.

That's my Uncle Leo. "

I was with Aquaman outside Sy's Clam Bar once...

...when we ran into the Green Fog.

Oy, what a stink.

The Green Fog? Piffle.

Like lilacs in springtime.

You want to fight a stench, try doing battle with the Brown Fog.

Now, that was a smelly fog. He'd creep up on you too.

You'd be standing there, minding your own business...

...then out from nowhere, a smell...

...oy, like something crawled under the porch and died.

And there he is, the Brown Fog, choking you, your eyes burning.

I thought I was gonna die.

- Well, what'd you do? - What could I do?

I lit a match, he blew up. End of story.

Hey, blue boy, did you check the pastrami?

How do know it ain't got a bomb in it, huh?

I have many enemies. Get it away from me.

Yes, sir.

Hurry, it's gonna blow.

"I lit a match. "

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Well, that's our show.

I hope you had as much fun watching it as we had making it.

You're not the boss of me. I'll make you...

I've a parking space. I'll show you. I own everything in the world.

I've got my own parking space, you do not. I drive your car.

Ahh, come to think of it...

...I hope you had more fun watching it than we had making it.

So till next time.

Hmm...

Hmm...

Hmm...

I am Mo-Ron.

You're still here, huh?

I come with a important message...

...for all mankind.

Yeah, so we've heard. Wonderful.

Me remember message.

Could it be, "I am Mo-Ron"?

No, it is, uh, um...

A giant comet heading to Earth.

Now he tells us.

All right, folks. That's all we have time for today.

We have to run. So next time, don't forget to freak out.

Mm. Hello...

I quit.

Out here...

...we're on vacation.

We have left work behind.

That's why we don't have any clips to show...

...from the next episode of Freakazoid.

We'd better get to work.

So fade out already.

Say, here's a sound you don't wanna hear at 3 a. M: