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1
00:00:05,452 --> 00:00:08,420
[dramatic music]
2
00:00:08,454 --> 00:00:15,161
♪
3
00:00:15,194 --> 00:00:17,329
I love these little kinds
of projects.
4
00:00:17,363 --> 00:00:20,832
They give me something to do
to keep my mind occupied.
5
00:00:20,866 --> 00:00:23,468
When I lost my ferro rod,
I wanted to go home.
6
00:00:23,501 --> 00:00:24,970
I need to get my head back
in the game
7
00:00:25,003 --> 00:00:26,437
if I'm gonna do this.
8
00:00:26,471 --> 00:00:28,740
A lot of bear activity
right here, and, you know,
9
00:00:28,774 --> 00:00:30,809
predators aren't something
to trifle with.
10
00:00:30,842 --> 00:00:33,078
Caught my first fish in my net.
11
00:00:33,111 --> 00:00:35,245
Dinner tonight, man.
12
00:00:35,279 --> 00:00:36,981
Whoo!
13
00:00:37,014 --> 00:00:39,383
Who are you when everything's
been stripped away?
14
00:00:39,416 --> 00:00:40,951
[bleep].
15
00:00:40,985 --> 00:00:42,586
[yelping]
16
00:00:42,619 --> 00:00:44,789
It's scary out here
in these woods.
17
00:00:44,822 --> 00:00:46,923
I have not had
a serious meal in a week.
18
00:00:46,956 --> 00:00:49,392
If I can't get a fire,
then I can't stay here.
19
00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:50,860
It's always in the back
of your mind,
20
00:00:50,894 --> 00:00:52,528
"Well, I could tap out."
21
00:00:52,561 --> 00:00:54,330
Putting up
with this filming [bleep]?
22
00:00:54,363 --> 00:00:56,265
Running into a predator,
it's not an if.
23
00:00:56,299 --> 00:00:57,333
It's a when.
24
00:00:57,366 --> 00:00:58,467
Get the hell out of here.
25
00:00:58,501 --> 00:01:00,402
I see you.
Get out of here!
26
00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,404
I'm living
a hand-to-mouth existence.
27
00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:03,638
Yes!
Ah!
28
00:01:03,672 --> 00:01:05,373
$500,000
is a lot of money.
29
00:01:05,407 --> 00:01:06,909
It's just gonna keep
getting harder.
30
00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:08,510
It's not the world
that needs to change.
31
00:01:08,543 --> 00:01:10,713
It's me
that needs to change.
32
00:01:10,746 --> 00:01:13,047
[moans]
33
00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:21,088
♪
34
00:01:36,903 --> 00:01:39,872
[birds chirping]
35
00:01:39,905 --> 00:01:42,007
♪
36
00:01:42,041 --> 00:01:45,410
Hey, so I'm traveling
37
00:01:45,444 --> 00:01:48,080
and exploring the, uh,
38
00:01:48,113 --> 00:01:51,582
the knoll behind
and up above my camp.
39
00:01:51,615 --> 00:01:52,984
So check it out.
40
00:01:53,017 --> 00:01:55,486
Just right down
41
00:01:55,519 --> 00:01:57,922
from the kitchen area,
42
00:01:57,956 --> 00:02:01,059
oh, about 50 feet away.
43
00:02:01,092 --> 00:02:04,295
♪
44
00:02:04,327 --> 00:02:06,696
And there is this root
45
00:02:06,730 --> 00:02:08,565
that's turned right here
46
00:02:08,598 --> 00:02:12,369
and covered with soft moss,
47
00:02:12,402 --> 00:02:14,271
And...
48
00:02:14,304 --> 00:02:15,538
♪
49
00:02:15,572 --> 00:02:19,575
There is a hole
50
00:02:19,608 --> 00:02:21,577
in there.
51
00:02:21,610 --> 00:02:26,115
Man, this is the perfect toilet.
52
00:02:26,148 --> 00:02:27,649
[chuckles]
53
00:02:27,683 --> 00:02:29,618
I can take care of business
54
00:02:29,651 --> 00:02:31,019
right here,
55
00:02:31,052 --> 00:02:33,188
and I'm just gonna kind of
pan around
56
00:02:33,221 --> 00:02:34,622
so you can see
57
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,858
where I've been hiking.
58
00:02:36,892 --> 00:02:39,160
So I'm just gonna
explore around.
59
00:02:39,194 --> 00:02:41,296
If I see anything interesting,
I'll show you.
60
00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:47,835
♪
61
00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:50,604
So just all along
the shore here,
62
00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:53,974
I anticipate finding stuff.
63
00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:55,409
♪
64
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,610
I'm hoping to find
a fair number
65
00:02:57,643 --> 00:02:59,813
of plastic bottles
66
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:03,917
that I can use
to store the food
67
00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:06,085
that I--that I'm hoping
I can preserve.
68
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,453
Catch some fish.
69
00:03:07,486 --> 00:03:10,122
♪
70
00:03:10,155 --> 00:03:12,757
As I'm standing here,
71
00:03:12,791 --> 00:03:16,694
I see something.
72
00:03:16,728 --> 00:03:17,863
Look at that.
73
00:03:17,896 --> 00:03:21,867
That's a gigantic
plastic container.
74
00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:24,435
Man, this is just awesome.
75
00:03:24,468 --> 00:03:27,038
I mean, it's context, right?
76
00:03:27,071 --> 00:03:29,340
I would otherwise
be disappointed
77
00:03:29,373 --> 00:03:31,742
to find this kind of trash
78
00:03:31,775 --> 00:03:33,610
on a beautiful beach like this,
79
00:03:33,644 --> 00:03:35,346
but because I'm surviving alone
80
00:03:35,379 --> 00:03:37,080
on North Vancouver Island,
81
00:03:37,113 --> 00:03:40,216
oh, man, this is a score.
82
00:03:41,517 --> 00:03:44,187
I am really excited about this.
83
00:03:44,220 --> 00:03:46,356
♪
84
00:03:46,389 --> 00:03:49,558
So I--I'm thinking
85
00:03:49,591 --> 00:03:52,694
of making a boat
out of the black tub,
86
00:03:52,727 --> 00:03:56,065
and if the weather
will allow me,
87
00:03:56,098 --> 00:03:57,799
you know, tying
some outriggers to it
88
00:03:57,833 --> 00:03:59,201
to help stabilize it.
89
00:03:59,234 --> 00:04:01,903
♪
90
00:04:01,936 --> 00:04:04,839
I can go places
91
00:04:04,873 --> 00:04:07,208
with the boat
that would take me
92
00:04:07,241 --> 00:04:10,111
a much longer time by foot.
93
00:04:10,144 --> 00:04:13,381
I could put the gill net out
in deeper water
94
00:04:13,414 --> 00:04:15,916
and perhaps catch salmon.
95
00:04:15,949 --> 00:04:17,918
♪
96
00:04:17,951 --> 00:04:19,486
With a little more effort,
97
00:04:19,519 --> 00:04:22,522
I can access better fishing,
98
00:04:22,555 --> 00:04:25,325
and I have no doubt in my mind
99
00:04:25,358 --> 00:04:27,360
that I could stay out here
100
00:04:27,394 --> 00:04:28,494
for a very long time.
101
00:04:28,527 --> 00:04:33,232
♪
102
00:04:33,265 --> 00:04:37,603
All right, so tying
the outriggers to the tub,
103
00:04:37,636 --> 00:04:40,039
you've got to tie it
underneath, so the--
104
00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:44,675
the black container won't slip
all the way through.
105
00:04:44,709 --> 00:04:46,111
It's gonna be a little bit
106
00:04:46,144 --> 00:04:48,113
diagonally unstable,
107
00:04:48,146 --> 00:04:51,950
but the container will help
hold that some.
108
00:04:53,318 --> 00:04:55,652
Now it's just a matter
of going out on the water.
109
00:04:55,685 --> 00:04:58,288
♪
110
00:04:58,322 --> 00:05:01,258
Oh, man.
111
00:05:01,291 --> 00:05:02,960
That could be epic.
112
00:05:02,993 --> 00:05:11,000
♪
113
00:05:16,439 --> 00:05:17,840
I want to succeed at this.
114
00:05:17,873 --> 00:05:21,543
I don't want to fail at this,
115
00:05:21,576 --> 00:05:23,979
because if I end up
116
00:05:24,012 --> 00:05:27,015
in the drink and swimming,
117
00:05:27,049 --> 00:05:29,317
if I get hypothermic,
118
00:05:29,351 --> 00:05:30,852
can't start a fire,
119
00:05:30,885 --> 00:05:32,554
can't get warmed up in my bag,
120
00:05:32,587 --> 00:05:36,023
and I have to call in for help,
121
00:05:36,057 --> 00:05:38,292
then this could be the end
of my journey.
122
00:05:38,325 --> 00:05:44,932
♪
123
00:05:44,966 --> 00:05:46,266
Here we go.
124
00:05:46,299 --> 00:05:54,307
♪
125
00:05:58,311 --> 00:05:59,911
Here we go.
126
00:05:59,945 --> 00:06:01,580
Yeah.
127
00:06:01,613 --> 00:06:05,284
♪
128
00:06:05,317 --> 00:06:06,685
[grunts]
129
00:06:06,718 --> 00:06:10,522
♪
130
00:06:10,555 --> 00:06:12,556
Hey-hey.
131
00:06:12,590 --> 00:06:15,126
Look at this.
132
00:06:15,159 --> 00:06:17,895
Oh, yeah.
133
00:06:17,928 --> 00:06:21,865
She is floating!
134
00:06:21,899 --> 00:06:24,002
Ahoy, matey!
135
00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:28,038
Look at this boat float,
would ya?
136
00:06:28,071 --> 00:06:30,707
Whoa-ho-ho!
137
00:06:30,740 --> 00:06:35,412
Man, this thing feels
as solid as land.
138
00:06:35,445 --> 00:06:36,746
♪
139
00:06:36,779 --> 00:06:40,149
Whoo-hoo!
140
00:06:40,182 --> 00:06:41,750
Holy moly.
141
00:06:41,783 --> 00:06:45,954
♪
142
00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:51,759
Yeah, yeah,
and it's super solid.
143
00:06:51,792 --> 00:06:54,129
Whoo-hoo!
144
00:06:54,162 --> 00:06:55,863
I could dance.
145
00:06:55,896 --> 00:06:58,399
Oh, I could dance.
146
00:06:58,433 --> 00:07:00,268
Whoo-hoo!
147
00:07:00,301 --> 00:07:02,170
All right.
148
00:07:02,203 --> 00:07:05,172
This is what being a captain
149
00:07:05,205 --> 00:07:07,874
is all about, matey.
150
00:07:07,907 --> 00:07:09,276
Yeah.
151
00:07:09,309 --> 00:07:10,910
♪
152
00:07:10,944 --> 00:07:13,647
Wow.
153
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,949
This is just fabulous.
154
00:07:15,982 --> 00:07:16,949
Golden.
155
00:07:16,982 --> 00:07:20,553
Absolutely solid, stellar,
156
00:07:20,586 --> 00:07:22,155
golden.
157
00:07:22,188 --> 00:07:23,422
Thank you, Jesus.
158
00:07:23,456 --> 00:07:25,291
Thank you, Jesus.
159
00:07:25,324 --> 00:07:27,393
[waves crashing]
160
00:07:27,426 --> 00:07:35,433
♪
161
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,548
So story of my life out here
162
00:07:51,582 --> 00:07:53,817
on this accursed island.
163
00:07:53,850 --> 00:07:55,086
[chuckles]
164
00:07:55,119 --> 00:07:57,753
I'm waiting for the tide
to go down.
165
00:07:57,787 --> 00:07:59,355
It's--it's dark,
166
00:07:59,389 --> 00:08:00,523
but I still got to wait
167
00:08:00,556 --> 00:08:02,592
probably at least another hour
168
00:08:02,625 --> 00:08:04,727
before I can start
checking my sets.
169
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,530
♪
170
00:08:07,563 --> 00:08:09,798
Seems to be going down
later and later
171
00:08:09,831 --> 00:08:11,200
every day.
172
00:08:11,233 --> 00:08:12,867
♪
173
00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:14,703
The boredom.
174
00:08:14,736 --> 00:08:16,438
Absolute, sheer boredom.
175
00:08:16,471 --> 00:08:18,773
♪
176
00:08:18,807 --> 00:08:21,576
I just kind of stand
and dwell on thoughts.
177
00:08:21,610 --> 00:08:23,877
♪
178
00:08:23,911 --> 00:08:25,746
Funny how there's
little things in life
179
00:08:25,779 --> 00:08:28,182
can be so stressful.
180
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:30,118
I have a mouse in my house.
181
00:08:30,151 --> 00:08:32,420
That stupid mouse, like,
follows me
182
00:08:32,453 --> 00:08:34,222
when I come down here.
183
00:08:34,255 --> 00:08:36,689
I'll turn around,
and there's the frickin' mouse,
184
00:08:36,723 --> 00:08:39,992
like, darting in and out
of rocks.
185
00:08:40,026 --> 00:08:42,962
Oh, I would be so mad
if he got into my sleeping bag.
186
00:08:42,995 --> 00:08:46,533
They are such
destructive little... things,
187
00:08:46,566 --> 00:08:49,135
so that's what
I'm concerned about.
188
00:08:49,168 --> 00:08:52,171
[water gurgling]
189
00:08:54,806 --> 00:08:56,908
♪
190
00:08:56,942 --> 00:08:58,910
Looks like I got one here.
191
00:08:58,944 --> 00:09:01,546
♪
192
00:09:06,584 --> 00:09:08,419
And I don't want him...
193
00:09:08,453 --> 00:09:09,754
getting away.
194
00:09:09,787 --> 00:09:13,458
You mother[bleep].
195
00:09:13,491 --> 00:09:15,125
Sorry about that.
196
00:09:19,329 --> 00:09:22,332
[metal scraping]
197
00:09:27,270 --> 00:09:28,904
What the hell?
198
00:09:32,341 --> 00:09:34,810
[metal scraping]
199
00:09:34,843 --> 00:09:37,813
[kindling sparks]
200
00:09:37,846 --> 00:09:40,615
You're [bleep] me.
201
00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:43,551
This [bleep] [bleep]'s all wet.
202
00:09:43,585 --> 00:09:45,787
[bleep] damn it.
203
00:09:45,820 --> 00:09:48,223
Never had so much
[bleep] problems
204
00:09:48,256 --> 00:09:49,757
lighting a [bleep] fire
205
00:09:49,791 --> 00:09:51,025
in a [bleep] damn place
206
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:53,127
in my entire [bleep] life.
207
00:09:53,161 --> 00:09:58,299
♪
208
00:09:58,332 --> 00:10:00,567
Oh, I'm so [bleep] ready
for bed.
209
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,503
[bleep] [bleep] [bleep]
210
00:10:02,536 --> 00:10:06,072
you mother[bleep]
piece of [bleep].
211
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:09,209
[bleep] you,
you [bleep]sucker.
212
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:11,511
You [bleep] piece of [bleep].
213
00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:19,551
♪
214
00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:28,660
Dinner in a little bit.
215
00:10:28,693 --> 00:10:29,861
[thud]
216
00:10:29,894 --> 00:10:32,096
[groans]
217
00:10:35,433 --> 00:10:38,402
[dramatic music]
218
00:10:38,436 --> 00:10:46,443
♪
219
00:10:54,984 --> 00:10:56,052
I caught one fish
220
00:10:56,085 --> 00:10:59,755
in the new gill net location.
221
00:10:59,788 --> 00:11:01,357
Very happy to have had
222
00:11:01,390 --> 00:11:04,593
a good, good, solid meal,
223
00:11:04,626 --> 00:11:06,295
but in an ideal world,
224
00:11:06,328 --> 00:11:07,663
it would be, like, in--
225
00:11:07,696 --> 00:11:11,267
in real deep water,
where I have to set it
226
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:14,302
at retrieve it from a boat.
227
00:11:14,335 --> 00:11:17,872
In that valley, there must be
a good-sized stream,
228
00:11:17,905 --> 00:11:19,206
and in that good-sized stream,
229
00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:21,276
there must be a good-sized
salmon run.
230
00:11:21,309 --> 00:11:23,544
♪
231
00:11:23,578 --> 00:11:26,380
Some food is coming in,
232
00:11:26,413 --> 00:11:28,114
but...
233
00:11:28,147 --> 00:11:29,683
the people that lived here,
234
00:11:29,716 --> 00:11:33,353
they depended on
a stable food supply,
235
00:11:33,387 --> 00:11:36,222
and that was the salmon,
236
00:11:36,256 --> 00:11:38,957
and I'm still on time to catch
the last migration,
237
00:11:38,991 --> 00:11:41,694
so that's where my mind goes.
238
00:11:41,727 --> 00:11:43,562
That's where my thoughts are
right now.
239
00:11:43,596 --> 00:11:47,666
♪
240
00:11:47,700 --> 00:11:50,702
[saw whooshing]
241
00:11:53,104 --> 00:11:55,307
If I hit the salmon run
full on,
242
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,775
it would make a huge,
huge difference
243
00:11:57,809 --> 00:11:58,776
in my situation.
244
00:11:58,810 --> 00:12:01,746
[sawing continues]
245
00:12:01,779 --> 00:12:04,281
So I guess the sooner
I get to it, the better.
246
00:12:04,315 --> 00:12:06,650
♪
247
00:12:06,683 --> 00:12:08,719
This week,
I've gone on long walks.
248
00:12:08,752 --> 00:12:11,455
I've picked up anything
that was useful to me,
249
00:12:11,488 --> 00:12:14,891
any bit of cordage,
any bit of lumber.
250
00:12:14,925 --> 00:12:18,628
So I think today,
I'm gonna start with that.
251
00:12:18,661 --> 00:12:20,430
I think there is enough lumber
252
00:12:20,463 --> 00:12:23,666
to make the gunwales
and the main stringer
253
00:12:23,699 --> 00:12:25,435
for a boat.
254
00:12:25,468 --> 00:12:27,937
♪
255
00:12:27,970 --> 00:12:30,439
I'm abandoning survival
256
00:12:30,472 --> 00:12:33,074
and trying to go
into wilderness living.
257
00:12:33,107 --> 00:12:37,111
Survival per se is how you
stay out of trouble
258
00:12:37,145 --> 00:12:40,482
until you go back
to civilization,
259
00:12:40,515 --> 00:12:42,050
but what I teach and what I do
260
00:12:42,083 --> 00:12:43,851
is wilderness living,
261
00:12:43,884 --> 00:12:46,354
trying to actually live
in the place.
262
00:12:46,387 --> 00:12:48,656
I have to maximize
263
00:12:48,689 --> 00:12:50,891
what the land and the sea has,
264
00:12:50,924 --> 00:12:53,193
and the number one way
to maximize it
265
00:12:53,226 --> 00:12:55,363
is having a boat.
266
00:12:55,396 --> 00:12:56,863
That's good.
267
00:12:56,896 --> 00:12:59,832
Now I can start looking into
the crosspieces it gets,
268
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:02,669
and preparing the holes
for the ribs.
269
00:13:02,702 --> 00:13:06,339
♪
270
00:13:06,373 --> 00:13:07,640
I'm pressed for time.
271
00:13:07,674 --> 00:13:09,174
I wonder if I'm gonna
reach the creek,
272
00:13:09,207 --> 00:13:11,710
and a bunch of salmon carcasses
is just laying there,
273
00:13:11,743 --> 00:13:13,612
'cause the run
just went past me
274
00:13:13,645 --> 00:13:16,281
while I was here
building a boat.
275
00:13:16,314 --> 00:13:18,484
And I hope not.
276
00:13:20,519 --> 00:13:23,354
Just--just put up a couple
of crosspieces
277
00:13:23,388 --> 00:13:25,456
to support the gunwales.
278
00:13:25,490 --> 00:13:26,457
[wood cracks]
279
00:13:26,491 --> 00:13:28,559
Oh.
280
00:13:28,593 --> 00:13:29,927
[groans]
281
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:33,598
♪
282
00:13:33,631 --> 00:13:35,699
Now you break,
you son of a gun.
283
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:38,468
♪
284
00:13:38,502 --> 00:13:41,037
[groans]
285
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:45,775
This was a big setback
in my plans,
286
00:13:45,809 --> 00:13:48,444
and I basically am back
to starting out
287
00:13:48,477 --> 00:13:50,245
with that boat,
288
00:13:50,278 --> 00:13:53,849
and I'm still days away
from having this completed.
289
00:13:53,882 --> 00:13:56,284
If I miss the salmon run
because I'm too late,
290
00:13:56,318 --> 00:14:00,255
oh, that would be
very, very bad.
291
00:14:00,288 --> 00:14:03,958
I wish I didn't have
that time-pressure thing going.
292
00:14:03,991 --> 00:14:05,860
[sighs]
293
00:14:06,994 --> 00:14:13,867
♪
294
00:14:19,740 --> 00:14:22,709
I had an interesting night
last night.
295
00:14:22,743 --> 00:14:26,312
A mouse has completely
destroyed my gear.
296
00:14:26,346 --> 00:14:28,280
♪
297
00:14:28,313 --> 00:14:29,715
Right next to my head,
298
00:14:29,749 --> 00:14:32,084
he was chewing on my pack
all night,
299
00:14:32,117 --> 00:14:34,587
and every time I turned on
my head lamp,
300
00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:37,457
he'd scurry away.
301
00:14:37,490 --> 00:14:38,924
I swear to God,
if that thing
302
00:14:38,958 --> 00:14:40,759
fricking chews
my sleeping bag up,
303
00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:41,760
I'm blowing this place up.
304
00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:42,827
I'm gonna find some way
305
00:14:42,861 --> 00:14:46,264
to blow the whole
fricking place up.
306
00:14:46,297 --> 00:14:48,633
[birds chirping]
307
00:14:48,667 --> 00:14:52,403
My greatest struggle
is emotional.
308
00:14:52,437 --> 00:14:53,871
What's really throwing me
for a loop
309
00:14:53,904 --> 00:14:56,440
is how mental this is.
310
00:14:56,474 --> 00:14:59,109
I did not expect this to be
this big a mental challenge.
311
00:14:59,142 --> 00:15:01,111
[birds chirping]
312
00:15:01,144 --> 00:15:04,515
The fact that I am secluded
313
00:15:04,548 --> 00:15:07,950
in a 100-foot area,
314
00:15:07,984 --> 00:15:10,553
with walls sloped down
315
00:15:10,587 --> 00:15:12,054
on side of me...
316
00:15:13,656 --> 00:15:16,025
Quite frankly,
it gets quite depressing.
317
00:15:16,058 --> 00:15:17,159
[sighs]
318
00:15:17,193 --> 00:15:21,563
And now I have a mouse
in my house.
319
00:15:21,597 --> 00:15:24,299
I mean, this place is just
really starting to get to me.
320
00:15:24,332 --> 00:15:25,601
[birds chirping]
321
00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:27,869
[sighs]
322
00:15:27,903 --> 00:15:35,710
♪
323
00:15:35,743 --> 00:15:38,713
[chirping continues]
324
00:15:38,746 --> 00:15:46,720
♪
325
00:15:46,753 --> 00:15:48,522
[fire crackling]
326
00:15:48,555 --> 00:15:52,025
♪
327
00:15:52,058 --> 00:15:55,529
I've been trying
to formulate a thought,
328
00:15:55,562 --> 00:15:57,196
to express it...
329
00:15:57,230 --> 00:15:58,931
♪
330
00:15:58,964 --> 00:16:00,999
Without breaking down
and crying.
331
00:16:01,033 --> 00:16:03,168
♪
332
00:16:03,201 --> 00:16:04,937
And I'm not sure I'm gonna
be able to relay it
333
00:16:04,970 --> 00:16:05,938
without crying.
334
00:16:05,971 --> 00:16:08,340
♪
335
00:16:08,373 --> 00:16:11,509
This--so my issue...
336
00:16:12,844 --> 00:16:16,548
One of the reasons why
I wanted to come out here
337
00:16:16,581 --> 00:16:20,351
was to try and think
338
00:16:20,384 --> 00:16:21,853
on...
339
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:28,792
the new aspect of my life.
340
00:16:28,825 --> 00:16:31,194
In other words, after kids.
341
00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:39,401
A person can endure
a lot of things
342
00:16:39,434 --> 00:16:41,270
for someone that they love.
343
00:16:43,238 --> 00:16:47,276
Trying to endure...
344
00:16:47,309 --> 00:16:50,979
those same things
just purely for yourself
345
00:16:51,012 --> 00:16:52,714
is not as easy.
346
00:16:54,649 --> 00:16:56,618
I'm an electrician.
347
00:16:56,651 --> 00:16:58,052
You might think
it's not that hard,
348
00:16:58,086 --> 00:17:00,454
but it's a lot
of repetitive tasks.
349
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:06,093
I know everybody
has to go to work.
350
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:09,396
I know it's just the way
of the world,
351
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:12,966
but for me to think...
352
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,703
that I have
another 15 years...
353
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:23,509
of basically wasting my life,
354
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,778
waiting for the weekends.
355
00:17:31,316 --> 00:17:35,654
Just the mundane torture
of it all.
356
00:17:38,389 --> 00:17:42,893
♪
357
00:17:42,927 --> 00:17:44,161
I'm gonna have to make a change.
358
00:17:44,194 --> 00:17:45,730
It's not the world
that needs to change.
359
00:17:45,763 --> 00:17:48,132
It's me
that needs to change.
360
00:17:48,165 --> 00:17:50,267
My--my outlook on life.
361
00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:57,807
♪
362
00:17:57,841 --> 00:18:00,777
This place, I know the rules.
363
00:18:00,810 --> 00:18:02,411
It's life outside of this place
364
00:18:02,445 --> 00:18:04,047
that makes me want to cry.
365
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,082
♪
366
00:18:11,386 --> 00:18:19,394
♪
367
00:18:27,001 --> 00:18:29,503
All right, I'll stand
in front of the camera.
368
00:18:29,536 --> 00:18:32,840
Move it down.
369
00:18:32,874 --> 00:18:33,908
I'm still here
370
00:18:33,941 --> 00:18:35,809
and doing well,
371
00:18:35,842 --> 00:18:37,243
so keeping myself warm,
372
00:18:37,277 --> 00:18:40,346
making sure I have enough food.
373
00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:43,984
I think I've figured out
black bear behavior.
374
00:18:44,017 --> 00:18:46,419
It's been
a learning experience.
375
00:18:46,452 --> 00:18:49,889
It's a sort of game,
like, the bears and I
376
00:18:49,922 --> 00:18:52,825
forage on the beach together
at the same time.
377
00:18:52,858 --> 00:18:54,226
They stay on their side
of the river
378
00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:55,728
and don't come over here.
379
00:18:55,761 --> 00:18:58,330
Plenty, plenty of fish.
380
00:18:58,363 --> 00:19:02,400
I love that I'm part
of the ecosystem here.
381
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:05,069
I feel at home here.
382
00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:07,538
It's another good day.
383
00:19:07,571 --> 00:19:09,240
I'm gonna go check
my gill net.
384
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:12,176
That Chinook run should be
coming in really soon,
385
00:19:12,210 --> 00:19:15,178
and that's a great source
of food.
386
00:19:15,212 --> 00:19:16,714
♪ Watching for bears
387
00:19:16,747 --> 00:19:18,448
'cause they like it
right here.
388
00:19:18,481 --> 00:19:21,218
Oh, I think we're gonna
coexist just fine.
389
00:19:21,251 --> 00:19:24,221
♪ Looks like we got
something ♪
390
00:19:24,254 --> 00:19:27,656
We got some salmon.
391
00:19:27,690 --> 00:19:30,827
Oh!
And it is alive and kicking.
392
00:19:30,860 --> 00:19:32,962
You need to cut its backbone,
is the main thing.
393
00:19:32,995 --> 00:19:35,798
♪
394
00:19:35,832 --> 00:19:38,234
Hold it really firmly,
395
00:19:38,267 --> 00:19:40,601
and cut through
its spinal cord in there.
396
00:19:40,635 --> 00:19:42,804
♪
397
00:19:42,838 --> 00:19:45,606
Kind of cool:
the heart is still--
398
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:46,641
it's still beating.
399
00:19:46,674 --> 00:19:48,777
Oh, it just was.
400
00:19:48,810 --> 00:19:50,278
There we go.
401
00:19:50,311 --> 00:19:51,279
See that?
402
00:19:51,312 --> 00:19:54,782
♪
403
00:19:54,815 --> 00:19:59,019
[French accent]
Now for ze body.
404
00:19:59,053 --> 00:20:00,921
Oh, boy.
405
00:20:00,955 --> 00:20:02,857
Feeling very lucky today.
406
00:20:02,890 --> 00:20:06,259
This amazing, fresh salmon.
407
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:09,729
Here's the body.
408
00:20:09,763 --> 00:20:11,831
[grunts]
Put it here to fillet.
409
00:20:11,865 --> 00:20:13,066
How you doing
over there, bears?
410
00:20:13,099 --> 00:20:14,868
How's your river?
411
00:20:14,901 --> 00:20:17,971
They got their own river
where the salmon are spawning.
412
00:20:18,004 --> 00:20:19,504
We're all eating well,
413
00:20:19,537 --> 00:20:21,373
so that works out.
414
00:20:21,406 --> 00:20:24,042
[laughs]
415
00:20:24,076 --> 00:20:26,311
All right, well.
416
00:20:26,344 --> 00:20:30,682
Time to get
these puppies filleted
417
00:20:30,715 --> 00:20:32,316
and cleaned.
418
00:20:32,349 --> 00:20:34,852
It's really important to me
that if I take a life,
419
00:20:34,886 --> 00:20:37,121
that I use every single bit
of that animal.
420
00:20:37,154 --> 00:20:38,522
It's respectful,
421
00:20:38,555 --> 00:20:41,025
and I want to be respectful
of this sacred land
422
00:20:41,058 --> 00:20:43,360
that we're being allowed
to use.
423
00:20:43,394 --> 00:20:45,095
Those reflexes always get me
424
00:20:45,128 --> 00:20:47,463
when they move
when you're cutting it.
425
00:20:47,497 --> 00:20:48,498
Voila.
426
00:20:48,531 --> 00:20:51,167
Better than
your best restaurant.
427
00:20:51,201 --> 00:20:54,704
That's dinner, lunch,
breakfast.
428
00:20:54,737 --> 00:20:55,839
Dinner, lunch, breakfast.
429
00:20:55,872 --> 00:20:58,073
Oh, yeah,
a whole lot of food.
430
00:21:01,443 --> 00:21:06,148
♪
431
00:21:11,185 --> 00:21:14,155
[water gushing]
432
00:21:14,188 --> 00:21:21,629
♪
433
00:21:21,662 --> 00:21:23,897
So last night,
434
00:21:23,931 --> 00:21:27,034
a mouse completely destroyed
my gear.
435
00:21:27,067 --> 00:21:30,838
He was chewing on my pack
all night.
436
00:21:30,871 --> 00:21:32,973
I really want to give it
a concerted effort
437
00:21:33,006 --> 00:21:35,876
to try and find
a new location.
438
00:21:35,909 --> 00:21:37,309
♪
439
00:21:37,343 --> 00:21:39,211
It's up to me.
It's not up to anybody else.
440
00:21:39,245 --> 00:21:41,147
It's up to me to make a change.
441
00:21:47,686 --> 00:21:49,821
That's the plan for today.
442
00:21:49,855 --> 00:21:52,723
I'm getting the hell out
of here.
443
00:21:52,757 --> 00:21:55,193
Let this damn mouse
have this frickin' place.
444
00:21:55,226 --> 00:21:57,428
♪
445
00:21:57,462 --> 00:21:58,897
So I've lost some weight.
446
00:21:58,930 --> 00:22:02,000
I need another couple
of notches on my belt.
447
00:22:02,033 --> 00:22:05,469
Let's get this hip belt
situated.
448
00:22:05,502 --> 00:22:06,470
Tightened down.
449
00:22:06,503 --> 00:22:11,641
♪
450
00:22:11,675 --> 00:22:13,610
All right.
451
00:22:13,643 --> 00:22:15,912
Time to head out.
452
00:22:15,945 --> 00:22:19,015
I'm pretty nervous
about leaving a known entity,
453
00:22:19,048 --> 00:22:22,318
but it's either try and survive
where I'm at,
454
00:22:22,351 --> 00:22:25,321
and potentially tap
quite early,
455
00:22:25,354 --> 00:22:27,690
or it's go for broke
456
00:22:27,723 --> 00:22:29,724
and really try to get out here
457
00:22:29,757 --> 00:22:31,659
and try to find a good location
458
00:22:31,693 --> 00:22:32,694
and live out here.
459
00:22:32,727 --> 00:22:37,499
♪
460
00:22:37,532 --> 00:22:39,868
I've done three
or four little walks,
461
00:22:39,902 --> 00:22:42,836
and the only other place
I haven't gone
462
00:22:42,870 --> 00:22:45,239
is more south,
463
00:22:45,272 --> 00:22:47,008
so it's opened up a little bit.
464
00:22:47,041 --> 00:22:49,410
I'm following this creek bed.
465
00:22:49,443 --> 00:22:50,577
[exhales]
466
00:22:50,611 --> 00:22:52,779
But it's thick back here.
467
00:22:52,813 --> 00:22:55,581
I see a little bit
of daylight up there
468
00:22:55,615 --> 00:22:57,918
through the trees.
469
00:22:57,951 --> 00:23:00,954
I'm hoping that
that pans out to a--
470
00:23:00,987 --> 00:23:02,122
I don't know.
471
00:23:02,155 --> 00:23:04,457
It's got to empty
into the ocean sometime.
472
00:23:04,490 --> 00:23:09,261
♪
473
00:23:09,294 --> 00:23:11,263
Oh, this is killing my knees.
474
00:23:11,296 --> 00:23:12,864
[groans]
475
00:23:12,898 --> 00:23:14,033
I've got old man knees.
476
00:23:14,066 --> 00:23:15,834
[groans]
477
00:23:15,867 --> 00:23:17,836
Oh, my pack's caught.
478
00:23:17,869 --> 00:23:18,837
Damn you.
479
00:23:18,870 --> 00:23:26,610
♪
480
00:23:26,644 --> 00:23:28,879
Oh, my gosh.
481
00:23:28,913 --> 00:23:30,381
Oh, you son of a...
482
00:23:30,414 --> 00:23:31,382
♪
483
00:23:31,415 --> 00:23:32,850
God.
484
00:23:32,883 --> 00:23:36,019
♪
485
00:23:36,053 --> 00:23:37,287
[groans]
486
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:38,288
♪
487
00:23:38,321 --> 00:23:39,522
Damn it.
488
00:23:39,556 --> 00:23:42,025
♪
489
00:23:42,059 --> 00:23:43,560
All right, well,
I'm getting excited.
490
00:23:43,593 --> 00:23:44,661
I can hear the ocean.
491
00:23:44,694 --> 00:23:48,130
♪
492
00:23:48,164 --> 00:23:50,366
[laughing]
493
00:23:50,399 --> 00:23:52,001
Oh, my God.
494
00:23:52,034 --> 00:23:54,903
♪
495
00:23:54,937 --> 00:23:58,607
To get out
of that confining space of--
496
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:01,176
to be able to see this, man,
497
00:24:01,209 --> 00:24:02,843
and to expend the calories
and stuff
498
00:24:02,877 --> 00:24:04,712
and not know where
I was gonna end up
499
00:24:04,745 --> 00:24:06,181
or what was gonna happen.
500
00:24:06,214 --> 00:24:07,815
Let's get down here and see
501
00:24:07,848 --> 00:24:09,250
what the heck's going on.
502
00:24:09,284 --> 00:24:11,286
♪
503
00:24:11,319 --> 00:24:12,353
I can just tell already
504
00:24:12,387 --> 00:24:15,655
that this is gonna be
loads better,
505
00:24:15,689 --> 00:24:17,857
loads better.
506
00:24:17,891 --> 00:24:20,160
Look--there's dead wood
right there.
507
00:24:20,194 --> 00:24:22,496
Look at all the kindling
and stuff like that right here.
508
00:24:22,529 --> 00:24:23,863
♪
509
00:24:23,897 --> 00:24:26,332
And this place is fricking
chanterelle heaven.
510
00:24:26,365 --> 00:24:28,801
♪
511
00:24:28,834 --> 00:24:30,303
Oh, my God.
512
00:24:30,336 --> 00:24:31,737
♪
513
00:24:31,770 --> 00:24:34,740
Just the emotional uplifting
514
00:24:34,773 --> 00:24:36,775
this is gonna give me
515
00:24:36,809 --> 00:24:38,111
is huge.
516
00:24:38,144 --> 00:24:40,345
♪
517
00:24:40,378 --> 00:24:41,713
Look at this.
518
00:24:41,746 --> 00:24:44,782
There's sunlight on the rocks.
519
00:24:44,816 --> 00:24:45,984
I could be sunbathing.
520
00:24:46,018 --> 00:24:48,186
♪
521
00:24:48,220 --> 00:24:50,522
It's frickin' awesome.
522
00:24:50,555 --> 00:24:54,925
♪
523
00:24:58,262 --> 00:25:01,298
[dramatic music]
524
00:25:01,332 --> 00:25:09,339
♪
525
00:25:22,117 --> 00:25:24,453
This was the best move.
526
00:25:24,486 --> 00:25:25,587
Not just move, literally.
527
00:25:25,620 --> 00:25:27,456
This was the best move
I've done
528
00:25:27,489 --> 00:25:30,759
this entire journey.
529
00:25:30,792 --> 00:25:33,661
All right, well, I haven't even
been here ten minutes,
530
00:25:33,694 --> 00:25:35,796
and what did I find?
531
00:25:35,829 --> 00:25:36,797
Rope.
532
00:25:36,830 --> 00:25:38,266
Cordage.
533
00:25:38,299 --> 00:25:40,501
I'm gonna split this rope down,
534
00:25:40,534 --> 00:25:42,002
and right back behind me
535
00:25:42,036 --> 00:25:43,571
is where I'm gonna
make my shelter.
536
00:25:43,604 --> 00:25:46,039
♪
537
00:25:46,073 --> 00:25:48,408
God, that was
a craphole I left.
538
00:25:48,441 --> 00:25:50,343
This place is so much better.
539
00:25:50,377 --> 00:25:52,912
There's a lot
of man-made resources.
540
00:25:52,945 --> 00:25:55,448
I got a whole nother thing
of this cordage,
541
00:25:55,482 --> 00:25:57,216
and that was just
what I found on the beach
542
00:25:57,249 --> 00:26:00,686
in the first five minutes
I was here.
543
00:26:00,719 --> 00:26:04,256
I've got to get shelter set up.
544
00:26:04,290 --> 00:26:07,226
I've got stuff in my backpack
545
00:26:07,259 --> 00:26:08,660
that can't get wet.
546
00:26:08,694 --> 00:26:12,397
I cannot afford to get
my sleeping bag wet.
547
00:26:12,430 --> 00:26:14,732
I just need to hurry up
and set up a shelter,
548
00:26:14,765 --> 00:26:16,234
and then I'll go back
for my other crap
549
00:26:16,267 --> 00:26:18,369
that I left.
550
00:26:18,403 --> 00:26:21,806
I'm just gonna make
a simple A-frame.
551
00:26:21,839 --> 00:26:23,273
I'm really partial
to the plow point,
552
00:26:23,307 --> 00:26:24,674
but the problem
with the plow point
553
00:26:24,708 --> 00:26:26,042
in this country
is it rains so much
554
00:26:26,076 --> 00:26:30,314
that the rain leaks
down the pole,
555
00:26:30,347 --> 00:26:33,283
and it's such strong winds
556
00:26:33,317 --> 00:26:35,352
that I don't want to put
that much pressure on the tarp
557
00:26:35,385 --> 00:26:39,222
and not have a ridgepole.
558
00:26:39,255 --> 00:26:42,991
I'm so happy to be rid
of that frickin' mouse.
559
00:26:43,025 --> 00:26:46,362
Little destructive
piece of crap.
560
00:26:46,395 --> 00:26:47,763
I'm gonna make it
my life's mission
561
00:26:47,796 --> 00:26:50,398
to kill every frickin' mouse
I possibly can.
562
00:26:50,432 --> 00:26:54,369
That's my new mission
going forward, yes.
563
00:26:54,402 --> 00:26:57,239
We could have lived in harmony.
I wasn't hungry.
564
00:26:57,272 --> 00:26:59,073
I was gonna leave him alone,
565
00:26:59,107 --> 00:27:02,609
but oh, no.
566
00:27:02,643 --> 00:27:06,147
Him and his kind are gonna
feel my wrath from now on.
567
00:27:06,180 --> 00:27:13,454
♪
568
00:27:13,487 --> 00:27:16,456
[saw cutting]
569
00:27:16,489 --> 00:27:22,495
♪
570
00:27:22,528 --> 00:27:24,530
I really want this to be a good,
strong shelter,
571
00:27:24,564 --> 00:27:26,299
so...
572
00:27:33,472 --> 00:27:34,639
Limbs.
573
00:27:34,673 --> 00:27:35,674
I need two of 'em,
574
00:27:35,707 --> 00:27:37,342
and they need to be long.
575
00:27:37,376 --> 00:27:38,677
♪
576
00:27:38,710 --> 00:27:40,845
I've never made one
like this before.
577
00:27:40,879 --> 00:27:45,683
♪
578
00:27:45,716 --> 00:27:48,886
It's always just
a [bleep] inch too short.
579
00:27:48,919 --> 00:27:50,888
[bleep] damn it.
580
00:27:50,921 --> 00:27:58,928
♪
581
00:28:14,676 --> 00:28:15,811
[bleep]
582
00:28:15,844 --> 00:28:20,415
Once again, [bleep]
four inches too short.
583
00:28:20,448 --> 00:28:24,752
Oh, you [bleep]-loving
mother[bleep].
584
00:28:24,785 --> 00:28:27,255
Piece of [bleep].
585
00:28:29,290 --> 00:28:32,693
[bleep] [bleep] damn it.
586
00:28:40,667 --> 00:28:44,137
Cut another [bleep]
ten-[bleep] tree down.
587
00:28:49,575 --> 00:28:53,145
I can definitely feel
a lot of mood swings.
588
00:28:55,448 --> 00:28:57,883
Um, I get frustrated
pretty easy.
589
00:28:57,916 --> 00:28:59,917
I get angry pretty easy.
590
00:28:59,951 --> 00:29:07,625
♪
591
00:29:07,659 --> 00:29:10,328
But I usually come back
592
00:29:10,362 --> 00:29:11,996
and try and solve the problem
593
00:29:12,029 --> 00:29:13,497
semi-rationally.
594
00:29:13,530 --> 00:29:15,766
♪
595
00:29:26,876 --> 00:29:30,346
♪
596
00:29:30,380 --> 00:29:32,382
Feel like
everything's okay now.
597
00:29:32,415 --> 00:29:34,650
♪
598
00:29:34,684 --> 00:29:36,352
I mean, maybe I'll be
plagued by predators.
599
00:29:36,386 --> 00:29:37,753
I don't know, but...
600
00:29:37,787 --> 00:29:39,454
♪
601
00:29:39,488 --> 00:29:41,256
I still think it's better.
602
00:29:41,290 --> 00:29:43,425
It's way, way better
603
00:29:43,458 --> 00:29:45,026
than where I came from.
604
00:29:49,631 --> 00:29:54,167
♪
605
00:29:59,340 --> 00:30:02,310
[rain falling]
606
00:30:02,343 --> 00:30:03,577
♪
607
00:30:03,611 --> 00:30:06,579
[fire crackling]
608
00:30:06,613 --> 00:30:09,616
[rain pattering on tarp]
609
00:30:13,853 --> 00:30:15,555
Ugly faces.
610
00:30:15,588 --> 00:30:17,256
Me and my sister
used to make ugly faces
611
00:30:17,290 --> 00:30:20,392
in the mirror.
612
00:30:20,426 --> 00:30:22,594
[chuckles]
613
00:30:22,628 --> 00:30:30,635
♪
614
00:30:36,173 --> 00:30:38,809
All right, so I'm out
615
00:30:38,843 --> 00:30:40,745
checking all my fishing lines.
616
00:30:40,778 --> 00:30:44,748
♪
617
00:30:44,781 --> 00:30:47,717
Finding some food
is a priority.
618
00:30:47,751 --> 00:30:49,519
The number one priority.
619
00:30:49,553 --> 00:30:57,560
♪
620
00:31:01,697 --> 00:31:04,967
That is a really
interesting fish.
621
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,337
I have no idea...
622
00:31:08,371 --> 00:31:10,004
what it could possibly be.
623
00:31:10,037 --> 00:31:14,241
It is so beautiful, though.
624
00:31:14,275 --> 00:31:15,677
[laughing]
625
00:31:15,710 --> 00:31:17,779
Two lines, two fish.
626
00:31:17,812 --> 00:31:20,848
[laughing]
Oh, yeah.
627
00:31:20,882 --> 00:31:22,683
Oh.
628
00:31:22,716 --> 00:31:23,950
It's amazing.
629
00:31:23,984 --> 00:31:25,952
This is working.
630
00:31:25,986 --> 00:31:28,288
[laughing]
631
00:31:28,321 --> 00:31:30,857
[exclaims]
632
00:31:30,891 --> 00:31:32,559
That I've been catching fish
633
00:31:32,593 --> 00:31:34,528
every day
for the last three days,
634
00:31:34,561 --> 00:31:37,262
after going two weeks
without catching anything.
635
00:31:37,296 --> 00:31:39,665
That's--that's so huge.
636
00:31:39,699 --> 00:31:41,534
♪
637
00:31:41,567 --> 00:31:45,104
Good old-fashioned
regular fishing.
638
00:31:45,137 --> 00:31:46,806
A bobber,
639
00:31:46,839 --> 00:31:48,140
a little sinker,
640
00:31:48,173 --> 00:31:49,140
a hook,
641
00:31:49,173 --> 00:31:50,642
and some bait.
642
00:31:50,675 --> 00:31:52,210
♪
643
00:31:52,243 --> 00:31:55,179
Another day where I'll have
a bit of meat.
644
00:31:55,213 --> 00:31:57,616
I am so grateful for you.
645
00:31:57,649 --> 00:32:00,084
I'm really happy with what
I have accomplished so far.
646
00:32:00,118 --> 00:32:02,620
♪
647
00:32:02,653 --> 00:32:05,489
But I just, like, am craving
648
00:32:05,523 --> 00:32:06,990
human companionship
649
00:32:07,024 --> 00:32:08,926
even more than food.
650
00:32:08,959 --> 00:32:14,031
♪
651
00:32:14,064 --> 00:32:17,133
I wish I could talk
to my dad, actually.
652
00:32:17,166 --> 00:32:19,101
♪
653
00:32:19,135 --> 00:32:21,070
He'd do good out here.
654
00:32:21,103 --> 00:32:22,705
He'd do real good.
655
00:32:24,841 --> 00:32:29,711
♪
656
00:32:29,745 --> 00:32:31,112
It's really hard being alone.
657
00:32:31,146 --> 00:32:33,148
I've never been alone
for this long before.
658
00:32:33,181 --> 00:32:36,652
♪
659
00:32:36,685 --> 00:32:40,589
You just, like,
crave companionship,
660
00:32:40,622 --> 00:32:42,490
someone to talk to.
661
00:32:42,523 --> 00:32:44,358
♪
662
00:32:44,391 --> 00:32:46,761
It definitely
takes its toll on you.
663
00:32:46,794 --> 00:32:54,801
♪
664
00:33:00,339 --> 00:33:03,376
[dramatic music]
665
00:33:03,409 --> 00:33:11,416
♪
666
00:33:18,591 --> 00:33:20,525
This morning,
I walked down to the water
667
00:33:20,558 --> 00:33:23,628
and had this amazing
experience, just...
668
00:33:23,661 --> 00:33:25,930
this bald eagle came
from the other side of the bay,
669
00:33:25,963 --> 00:33:27,565
and it circled the bay
670
00:33:27,599 --> 00:33:30,468
and then flew right
in front of me.
671
00:33:30,502 --> 00:33:31,969
It was amazing.
672
00:33:36,372 --> 00:33:38,208
I do wonder
how my kids are doing.
673
00:33:38,241 --> 00:33:40,611
You know,
I try to compartmentalize.
674
00:33:40,644 --> 00:33:44,014
Try to just think
about being here,
675
00:33:44,047 --> 00:33:47,550
'cause this is
where I am, but...
676
00:33:47,583 --> 00:33:48,884
I think if you have any issues
677
00:33:48,918 --> 00:33:50,520
kind of going on in your head,
678
00:33:50,553 --> 00:33:52,722
being alone
for long periods of time--
679
00:33:52,755 --> 00:33:54,857
I think that's when things
crop up for people.
680
00:33:54,890 --> 00:33:59,594
♪
681
00:33:59,628 --> 00:34:01,663
[crying]
I really miss my--
682
00:34:01,696 --> 00:34:03,598
my stepson.
683
00:34:06,568 --> 00:34:08,236
Beau died two years ago.
684
00:34:08,269 --> 00:34:11,472
He drowned
in San Francisco.
685
00:34:11,506 --> 00:34:13,340
[crying]
686
00:34:13,373 --> 00:34:15,643
He went swimming, and...
687
00:34:15,676 --> 00:34:17,377
he was missing for a long time,
688
00:34:17,410 --> 00:34:19,212
and I spent a month
looking for him
689
00:34:19,246 --> 00:34:21,749
until we figured out
what happened to him.
690
00:34:24,484 --> 00:34:26,385
He died on the day that I--
691
00:34:26,418 --> 00:34:29,689
I was in Arizona.
692
00:34:29,722 --> 00:34:30,790
When I got the call,
693
00:34:30,823 --> 00:34:34,961
I was graduating
with my doctorate, and...
694
00:34:34,994 --> 00:34:36,629
we texted back and forth a lot.
695
00:34:36,663 --> 00:34:40,398
That was an easy medium
when he moved,
696
00:34:40,431 --> 00:34:43,635
and I texted him
a picture of me
697
00:34:43,669 --> 00:34:46,872
in my, like, cap and gown,
698
00:34:46,905 --> 00:34:49,007
saying, "I did it.
I'm finally a doctor now.
699
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:50,475
I finally did it."
700
00:34:50,508 --> 00:34:51,876
And I think I was probably,
701
00:34:51,909 --> 00:34:54,411
like, 30 minutes too late.
702
00:34:54,444 --> 00:34:55,880
I remember thinking,
"That's weird.
703
00:34:55,913 --> 00:34:57,147
He didn't write right back,"
704
00:34:57,181 --> 00:34:59,650
'cause he always writes
right back.
705
00:34:59,684 --> 00:35:00,985
And I just sometimes think,
like,
706
00:35:01,018 --> 00:35:04,688
what if I'd texted
an hour earlier, you know?
707
00:35:04,721 --> 00:35:05,855
I don't know
708
00:35:05,889 --> 00:35:07,791
if anything
I could have done
709
00:35:07,824 --> 00:35:09,593
made any difference.
710
00:35:09,626 --> 00:35:13,296
♪
711
00:35:13,329 --> 00:35:15,632
[sniffles] Ohh.
712
00:35:15,665 --> 00:35:21,870
♪
713
00:35:21,904 --> 00:35:23,639
I know his brothers
feel it every day.
714
00:35:23,672 --> 00:35:24,740
I feel it every day.
715
00:35:24,773 --> 00:35:26,642
I'm sure his dad does too.
716
00:35:26,675 --> 00:35:28,510
I'm sure his grandparents do.
717
00:35:28,543 --> 00:35:30,177
♪
718
00:35:30,211 --> 00:35:33,380
My God, I miss him
every day, so much.
719
00:35:33,414 --> 00:35:34,782
It's so hard.
720
00:35:34,816 --> 00:35:38,252
[breathes deeply]
721
00:35:38,285 --> 00:35:39,954
But I look for the beauty
in things,
722
00:35:39,987 --> 00:35:41,422
and I look for joy in life,
723
00:35:41,455 --> 00:35:43,489
and I have other kids
724
00:35:43,523 --> 00:35:45,692
that I need to take care of,
you know?
725
00:35:45,726 --> 00:35:47,193
[somber chuckle]
726
00:35:47,227 --> 00:35:54,200
♪
727
00:35:54,234 --> 00:35:56,568
But it'll never mean
I don't miss Beau
728
00:35:56,602 --> 00:35:57,903
every day.
729
00:35:57,937 --> 00:35:59,639
♪
730
00:35:59,672 --> 00:36:02,374
[exhales]
731
00:36:02,407 --> 00:36:03,876
Wow.
732
00:36:03,909 --> 00:36:06,178
♪
733
00:36:06,211 --> 00:36:08,180
I have to just think of him
734
00:36:08,213 --> 00:36:11,349
as being there with me
and cheering me on.
735
00:36:11,382 --> 00:36:13,217
It's all I can do.
I mean...
736
00:36:13,251 --> 00:36:14,753
He'd be proud of me here.
737
00:36:14,786 --> 00:36:16,988
I know he would.
738
00:36:17,021 --> 00:36:19,190
He'd be stoked.
He'd think this was cool.
739
00:36:19,223 --> 00:36:20,358
[chuckles]
740
00:36:20,391 --> 00:36:28,398
♪
741
00:36:47,717 --> 00:36:51,820
I've been in a pretty funky
headspace all day,
742
00:36:51,853 --> 00:36:54,790
just getting the blood flowing
a little bit,
743
00:36:54,823 --> 00:36:57,693
keeping myself occupied.
744
00:36:57,726 --> 00:36:59,728
[sawing]
745
00:36:59,761 --> 00:37:02,296
I'm happy with the cabin
so far.
746
00:37:02,329 --> 00:37:05,332
It's not done yet,
but it's getting there.
747
00:37:05,365 --> 00:37:08,836
I'm gonna start reinforcing
the walls.
748
00:37:08,869 --> 00:37:11,405
Put in a post at the very end.
749
00:37:11,438 --> 00:37:12,773
This one I did
a couple of more,
750
00:37:12,807 --> 00:37:14,908
'cause I noticed that this wall
751
00:37:14,941 --> 00:37:16,575
was leaning a little bit.
752
00:37:16,609 --> 00:37:20,914
That should definitely
secure it,
753
00:37:20,947 --> 00:37:25,885
at least for the duration
that I will be here.
754
00:37:25,919 --> 00:37:27,053
♪
755
00:37:27,086 --> 00:37:28,053
Now, what I do here
756
00:37:28,086 --> 00:37:32,825
is just tie the posts together.
757
00:37:32,858 --> 00:37:34,392
♪
758
00:37:34,426 --> 00:37:36,862
It's like there's a party
going on in here all the time.
759
00:37:36,895 --> 00:37:39,397
♪
760
00:37:39,431 --> 00:37:42,633
But I'm the--
I'm the only one here.
761
00:37:42,666 --> 00:37:44,568
I'm the only one--
I was the only one invited,
762
00:37:44,601 --> 00:37:47,004
is what it was.
763
00:37:47,038 --> 00:37:49,540
Make myself a little--
a little mattress.
764
00:37:49,573 --> 00:37:52,143
♪
765
00:37:52,176 --> 00:37:54,911
I'm set up to be here
766
00:37:54,945 --> 00:37:55,912
for a long time.
767
00:37:55,946 --> 00:37:58,414
♪
768
00:37:58,448 --> 00:38:02,685
I have walls around me.
769
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:04,788
I have, you know,
an entire ocean
770
00:38:04,821 --> 00:38:06,356
full of fish
771
00:38:06,389 --> 00:38:09,224
that I have been catching.
772
00:38:09,258 --> 00:38:11,393
I mean, you could have
the best life in the world,
773
00:38:11,426 --> 00:38:15,097
but if you're alone,
then what's the point, really?
774
00:38:15,130 --> 00:38:18,300
What's the point of living
if you're just doing it alone?
775
00:38:18,333 --> 00:38:20,201
All right, well,
let's see how she does.
776
00:38:20,234 --> 00:38:26,374
♪
777
00:38:26,407 --> 00:38:27,942
[sighs]
778
00:38:27,976 --> 00:38:32,746
♪
779
00:38:32,780 --> 00:38:34,414
Luxury.
780
00:38:34,447 --> 00:38:36,884
♪
781
00:38:36,917 --> 00:38:40,287
What am I doing out here?
782
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:42,122
Besides building [bleep].
783
00:38:42,155 --> 00:38:45,458
♪
784
00:38:45,492 --> 00:38:47,593
You know, you build,
and you build, and you build,
785
00:38:47,626 --> 00:38:49,361
and when you
run out of things,
786
00:38:49,395 --> 00:38:52,564
then you're just
sort of left here
787
00:38:52,598 --> 00:38:55,334
without anything to do.
788
00:38:55,367 --> 00:38:58,603
♪
789
00:38:58,636 --> 00:39:01,672
I think if the world ended,
790
00:39:01,706 --> 00:39:03,341
or if society as we know it
791
00:39:03,374 --> 00:39:05,243
just, like, crashed...
792
00:39:05,276 --> 00:39:06,878
♪
793
00:39:06,912 --> 00:39:08,479
and I were, like,
794
00:39:08,513 --> 00:39:11,849
the last survivor...
795
00:39:11,882 --> 00:39:15,786
I wouldn't do it.
796
00:39:15,820 --> 00:39:17,454
There'd be no point.
797
00:39:17,487 --> 00:39:22,659
♪
798
00:39:22,692 --> 00:39:24,261
I knew it was gonna be hard,
799
00:39:24,294 --> 00:39:27,396
being alone.
800
00:39:27,430 --> 00:39:28,832
I guess I just didn't know
801
00:39:28,865 --> 00:39:30,766
it was gonna be this hard.
802
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:32,902
♪
803
00:39:32,936 --> 00:39:35,071
There's times when I, like--
804
00:39:35,104 --> 00:39:39,041
every fiber of my being
is just saying, like,
805
00:39:39,074 --> 00:39:40,575
that I want to go home.
806
00:39:40,608 --> 00:39:44,980
♪
807
00:39:47,983 --> 00:39:50,285
[dramatic music]
808
00:39:50,318 --> 00:39:58,325
♪
809
00:40:20,745 --> 00:40:23,148
Hello, ocean.
810
00:40:23,182 --> 00:40:28,487
It is good to see you again.
811
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,755
I got a big decision to make.
812
00:40:31,789 --> 00:40:35,059
It is nice
that you haven't left,
813
00:40:35,093 --> 00:40:38,129
=or else I'd be in big trouble.
814
00:40:38,162 --> 00:40:40,064
The biggest question
I have is just
815
00:40:40,098 --> 00:40:42,799
"What am I doing this for?"
816
00:40:42,832 --> 00:40:46,469
♪
817
00:40:46,503 --> 00:40:49,372
It's impossible to describe
what this is like
818
00:40:49,406 --> 00:40:51,641
until someone comes out here
and does it.
819
00:40:51,674 --> 00:40:53,276
♪
820
00:40:53,310 --> 00:40:55,545
It's just so incredibly
beautiful here.
821
00:40:55,578 --> 00:40:59,248
It's just--it's mind-blowing.
822
00:40:59,281 --> 00:41:02,184
It's like, it's not something
that you just get used to.
823
00:41:02,218 --> 00:41:05,922
♪
824
00:41:05,955 --> 00:41:07,189
But I don't know
if there's more
825
00:41:07,223 --> 00:41:10,825
that I can get from this place,
you know?
826
00:41:10,858 --> 00:41:13,761
I don't know if there's more
that this place has
827
00:41:13,794 --> 00:41:15,363
to offer me.
828
00:41:15,396 --> 00:41:18,399
♪
829
00:41:18,433 --> 00:41:19,500
I mean, don't get me wrong.
830
00:41:19,534 --> 00:41:21,702
Like, I love living this way.
831
00:41:21,736 --> 00:41:24,271
I--I actually want
to live this way.
832
00:41:24,304 --> 00:41:25,973
♪
833
00:41:26,006 --> 00:41:28,442
But there's no way
I could do it alone.
834
00:41:28,475 --> 00:41:30,710
♪
835
00:41:30,744 --> 00:41:32,146
There's been a lot of times
836
00:41:32,179 --> 00:41:34,814
I've felt like I wanted
to go home.
837
00:41:37,883 --> 00:41:41,287
But--but I wasn't ready.
838
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:46,559
♪
839
00:41:46,592 --> 00:41:48,526
I just want to leave
on a high note.
840
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:51,896
♪
841
00:41:51,930 --> 00:41:53,698
I want to leave...
842
00:41:53,731 --> 00:41:56,401
♪
843
00:41:56,434 --> 00:41:58,136
still loving this.
844
00:41:58,170 --> 00:42:06,243
♪
845
00:42:11,348 --> 00:42:13,450
I was hoping this would be
an easier decision.
846
00:42:13,484 --> 00:42:21,491
♪
847
00:42:24,794 --> 00:42:27,296
I just can't get
enough to eat.
848
00:42:27,329 --> 00:42:29,298
Where my fishing hole was,
I can see these waves--
849
00:42:29,331 --> 00:42:31,166
bam--just crashing
against it.
850
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:33,502
Not very happy about it.
851
00:42:33,535 --> 00:42:34,636
I just woke up.
852
00:42:34,669 --> 00:42:36,271
My sleeping bag is soaked.
853
00:42:36,305 --> 00:42:38,907
It looks like it's groundwater,
seeped through.
854
00:42:38,940 --> 00:42:40,608
This is [bleep] ridiculous.
855
00:42:40,641 --> 00:42:42,876
Another day of boatbuilding.
856
00:42:42,910 --> 00:42:45,246
I sure hope to have her
in the water in time
857
00:42:45,279 --> 00:42:47,415
to get to that salmon run.
858
00:42:47,448 --> 00:42:48,916
A sweat lodge is one
of those things
859
00:42:48,949 --> 00:42:50,651
that feeds you spiritually.
860
00:42:50,684 --> 00:42:52,920
I think it'll probably help me
make a decision.
861
00:42:52,953 --> 00:42:55,055
I have to figure out how long
I want to stay here.
862
00:42:55,088 --> 00:42:59,859
♪
55036
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