All language subtitles for Tell Them You Love Me 2023 720p WEB-DL H264-AAC2 0

The following program
me contains adult themes

and scenes which some
viewers may find distressing.

In the beginning when
I was first convicted,

I felt like Alice In Wonderland.

Down the rabbit hole
in this strange place

that doesn't follow any rules that
I'm used to or anything like that.

When I came out, I remember I
went to my hairstylist, and.

I gave a big sigh,

and I said, "OK, you're
gonna be my first experience

with experimenting with
how much I say or don't say

about where I've been the
past couple of years,"

and where I've been
is - I was in prison.

My inclination,

you know, here I am
sitting here doing this, is

you know, I don't mind
people knowing because

you know, I'm not
guilty of a crime, so...

Derrick, let's go.

Are you ready to get up?

Good morning.

Come on.

Come on.

I remember when they brought
Derrick home from the hospital.

And I was just disappointed. I was like, "I
got a baby brother. I wanted a little sister."

And then when they brought him
in the house, and I saw him,

it was like an
instant connection.

Everything was fine, you know.
Nothing out of the ordinary.

I just remember that a certain
point he became very listless,

he didn't move much.

He wouldn't wake up. You
know, he slept all the time.

He wasn't doing what
he was supposed to do.

Like he wasn't sucking, he
wasn't holding his bottle.

And he couldn't hold his head.

I would ask the doctor, "Well,
what's wrong with Derrick?"

And he said, "Oh, you're
comparing him to your older son.

He'll be alright."

And I says, "No,
something's not right."

Early on, Derrick had
a series of seizures.

So then they took Derrick,
they put him in a sound room.

And they would do the lights
for his eyes to follow, and

he just wouldn't react,

or couldn't.

And that's when they told me
that he has cerebral palsy,

mm-hm, and he would
never, you know,

be able to

do as normal children would do.

Mm-hm.

Derrick visited a
few psychologists.

They deemed him, as the term
they used, mentally retarded,

non-verbal with cerebral palsy.

You know, then not knowing
what the heck that meant,

it just meant Derrick can't
walk, Derrick can't talk.

Yes.

It's all gone.

It's all gone. You're done.

You're done, mm-hm.

OK.

Take your hands out your
ears. What you want?

What's the problem?

Hm?

You know the routine.

One finger. What's that?
Shh. You signing me?

Hm?

Eventually, the seizures
started to subside,

but what his
cognitive level was,

I didn't have a way
of assessing that.

I know that he was listless
for a point in time,

and then all of a sudden there
was an awakening of sorts,

where he was in the world.

Whenever we would lock eyes,
like, there was recognition there.

I just began to see Derrick,

you know, develop
his own personality

and kind of come into his own.

Oh! They were inseparable.

Derrick would come
home after school.

John would run home,

meet Derrick's bus,

get Derrick in the house, call
me, "Ma, we in the house."

At a certain point, I
just threw him on my back.

Play together, get
into mischief together.

You know, wherever I
go, Derrick has to go.

Derrick's a character. You
know, he loves to give hugs.

He just loves to
smile a lot, you know.

You know when he's happy.

He used to do, we called it,
"the Stevie Wonder dance".

You know, when Stevie Wonder
is playing on the piano

and really feeling the music, and
his head would sway side to side.

And so Derrick would do
that from time to time too,

especially in church when he's,
like, really feeling the music.

Sometimes he's self-abusive.
We can be somewhere,

and then all of a sudden, "Ah,"
he'll put his hand in his mouth

and start banging his
head and his knee.

And I don't know why.
Maybe he's frustrated, um,

but he can't communicate.

So what is going on
in your head, Derrick?

Like I really

to me that was
the great mystery.

- Camera's rolling.
- OK. Everything's fine.

Tell me the story
of how you met.

I'm pretty sure,

or at least, I'm
hopeful that I haven't

been rewriting
things in my head.

I don't... didn't wanna do that.

You know, I see how
easily it can happen.

Our next speaker is
Anna Stubblefield,

the Director of the Philosophy
Department at Rutgers.

Thanks, David, is
that one working?

This one? How's this one?

Ah, that's better. OK.

'I was teaching

in the American Studies doctoral
program me at Rutgers Newark.'

Race, class, gender, and sexual
orientation and disability

are inextricably intertwined,

such that none of these concepts

would exist as it does
without the others.

'And John was one
of my students.'

When I was doing my
PhD at Rutgers...

When a person cannot understand

Anna Stubblefield was
a philosopher of race,

and also had a class
about disability studies.

Alongside theorising about
disability and ethics,

I also provide support

to people labelled with
developmental disabilities.

I work with people who
cannot communicate vocally

to provide them with access

to alternative forms of verbal
expression and to literacy.

You know, while I grew up
with a disabled brother,

I was not familiar with
disability studies.

And I think, as an
instructor, she was great.

And as a scholar, she
was great as well.

The course was
looking at the notion

of intelligence as a concept.

For example, the notion that if
somebody can't speak, it must be

because they're too stupid, and
there's just nothing in their head.

That just is not the case.

It's not the case.

Lacking speech doesn't mean that
you don't have anything to say.

It doesn't mean that
you can't use language.

If somebody can just get you
access to a way to do it.

Can you describe what
your world was like

before you were
able to communicate?

Can you describe that for me?

Somewhere along the course, we
ended up watching this video.

The person who was in
the video had autism.

Want to go to Grandma. You
want to go to Grandma's?

Want to go to Grandma. Yeah,
Grandma is gonna come here...

Sue Rubin,

she's somebody who's perceived
by her parents and everybody

as severely intellectually
impaired and just not there.

Yeah. Yeah.

But then she's given access
to a way to communicate.

"When I was 13, my mother
said she had seen someone"

start to communicate using
a keyboard and support.

It's called facilitated
communication.

"As I began to type, my
mind began to wake up."

Bye-bye. 'The person
who was in the video'

used a keyboard and eventually
became proficient enough

to communicate the
complexities of her life.

She was able to do
college-level work,

and she graduated with a dual
major, etcetera, etcetera.

And this was her story.

"I think I was lost." W-A.

"In some way.

I... acted like my
worst nightmare."

Y-E.

"Yes."

At that time, I had
never heard anything

about this facilitated
communication.

After that class, John, he said,

"This woman in this film
reminds me a lot of my brother."

How she moves, how
she looks, and then...

I see her typing, and
she's going to college,

and we've always been told

that my brother, you know, basically,
he should be institutionalised.

But we've always felt that maybe

"there's something
more going on there."

We recognised that
Derrick had a disability.

But we never thought
that he was incapable

of doing any number of things.

I always knew that there
was something there.

Like right on cue,
at certain points,

Derrick would say, "Uh, uh, uh," you
know, Derrick was paying attention.

Derrick wanted to weigh
in on this discussion.

'When we would go
to get haircuts, '

I would sit there and
read The Daily News.

And Derrick would be sitting next
to me, and so every so often,

Derrick would look over my
shoulder and look in the newspaper.

And was it a mimicking
behaviour? Maybe.

But he has this way of

appearing to be
absorbing information.

And so there were dozens

of these kinds of moments
through our lifetime.

I love my brother to death,

and I always want nothing
but the best for him.

And so I asked her, "I
would love to hear more

about facilitated communication.
Who can I talk to?"

I told him the nearest
place on the East Coast

where there's support for
facilitated communication

is Syracuse University.

But it's gonna be too expensive.

So I said to John,

"If you wanted,

I could at least just kind of

do some initial stuff, kind
of see if it's working."

She was Miss Anna.

You know, she could
do great things.

She was gonna move
mountains, and...

I... accepted her at her word.

When I was a child, I came
from an unusual family.

My mom did work with people

with a range of
physical disabilities,

with intellectual disabilities,
who came to the house.

My mom had a T-shirt
with the slogan,

"Labels are for
jars, not people."

I found disability interesting

because of that exposure.

And so I got my dad to, you
know, build me a pair of crutches

so I could, you know,
pretend to be post-polio,

or have cerebral palsy,
or something like that.

I'd tie a blindfold on
and spend all afternoon...

During her elementary years,

I taught her how
to write Braille.

At her request, I got
her a blind pen pal.

She was interested
in sign language,

and I think she may have
learned some of that.

I was fascinated by
the way in which,

you know, it's not
really the impairment,

it's the environment

that creates
impairments for people.

Growing up, I got that message very
powerfully, how in our society,

it's like we want everybody to
walk through the same-size door.

And if you don't fit in that door,
there's something wrong with you,

and that doesn't
have to be that way.

Welcome to the 1993 Conference

on Facilitated Communication
in Syracuse sponsored by

the Facilitated Communication
Institute at Syracuse University.

I learned about
facilitated communication

in December of 1990
at a conference.

Rosemary Crossley reported on
the work she'd done in Australia.

I had done some work

with a girl named Anne McDonald

who had athetoid cerebral palsy.

Couldn't move her hands.

Couldn't speak.
There was nothing.

We had a spelling board,

but because she
had cerebral palsy,

her hands would move so much

that she couldn't
actually hit a target.

I tried what would happen

if I supported her, um

under her upper arm.

She could then
move from the elbow

and do better in
selecting items.

And it turned out
that she could spell.

She was VERY smart.

We gave her the page-turner

so that every time
she hit a button,

the page would turn,

and suddenly she
could read books.

As soon as I heard
their presentation,

I knew that's what I needed.

This is how to help all these
kids who I used to work with.

My mother's one of the
first people in the country

who started doing training workshops
in facilitated communication.

When she came back
and started using it,

she was videotaping everybody,

and I ended up being the
one who ran the camera.

So I was there when she
first started using it.

I was part of that moment.

To see people for the first time

be able to type out something.

Being part of that was,
you know... was amazing.

We find that once we open
this world for the kids,

they are social now,
they are appropriate.

They do have language.
They do understand.

I couldn't believe
what I was seeing.

Cherise has typed 120
poems, nine short stories.

She talks about
everything she feels.

We understood that people knew

what it was they
wanted to communicate.

And we needed to just
provide some means

to make that
possible physically.

When I met Derrick, I'd been
told he had cerebral palsy,

and that was all.

He walks. He needs to
hold onto somebody's arm,

have a little support.

He can focus his gaze,

but his eyes kind of
go off, his head turns.

If you're not used to that,

we see that as signs of
lack of intelligence.

I've seen enough people
like that in my life

to know that that's
simply not true.

So I don't register
things that way.

So I had just cut out some
pictures from magazines

or drawn some pictures.

John and Daisy were
in the room watching.

And I said to Derrick,

"I'm gonna ask you
some questions,

and I'm not asking them

because I don't think you're
smart enough or anything.

I just want to see what happens
when you try to point to something."

So I watched and he

would kind of start moving his
arm. It would go a little ways.

And then he'd have this kind
of muscle jerk reaction,

which turned out
to be very typical.

You can see how hard he works

to try to have the least little
bit of control over his arm,

and it's slow.

If you've got cerebral palsy, you
might be able to get your hand

to something you're pointing at,
but it might take you a minute.

How do you have a
conversation like that?

So I had started with just a
little support on his elbow.

And that was it initially,
that freed him up enough,

and then he could select
which picture he wanted.

So, so far, so good.

Then I said, "Now
what I want to do is

see where you're
at with literacy."

So I had cards that just
had letters on them,

kind of like doing Boggle,

so if you have A, B, C, and T,

you can spell cat,
you can spell bat.

And when I asked him to spell
as many words as he could

using these four letters, he made
a very good showing with that.

But it's one thing to
reach your whole hand

toward a very large target.

It's an entirely different thing

to get one finger pushing a key.

So I had this small, very
lightweight, portable keyboard

with a small LED
display called the Neo.

I ended up where I was keeping
his fingers folded down

so that his index
finger was isolated.

And the first thing
I asked him to do

was point to the
letter H, the letter T.

And he started making mistakes.

So he mixed up the A and the H,

and he mixed up the T and the F,

and the U and the V.

What I realised was that the
alphabetical-order letter board

that I'd set up were
all lowercase letters

and on the Neo is
capital letters.

And so the difference
between the A and the H

was one little line
across the top of the A,

that sort of thing.

When he was making those mistakes,
I just said, "No, no, you're wrong.

I asked for the A, you hit
the H. Here's the A here."

And then I went through some other
letters, and then I would go back.

He didn't make the
same mistake twice.

So he was a really fast learner.

Tell him once, he's got it.

It was like the
porch lights went on.

And I was like, "Wow,
is he doing it?"

And I felt very
excited about it.

She said, "Don't forget
you're travelling with him",

you're taking him places,

and when you're taking him,

"he's reading the signs."

And, you know, I'm mama

tell me what my sons can do.

I was elated. I mean, I always knew
that there was something there.

And so in a way,

it somewhat confirmed
what I'd already knew.

In the school that he attended, the
Essex County Day Training Programme,

they had did some
remarkable things with him.

They were able to get him
to the point where he can,

you know, walk on his own.

But there was this question
of intellectual capacity.

And so to have this revelation

that Derrick can do these
things, it was just like, "Wow."

I knew it was there, and
I'm just happy for him.

One day when Derrick came,
and I just asked him,

"Did you do anything particularly
interesting this week?"

And he typed "GM".

His spelling was very, very
creative in the beginning.

And I said, "Hm, you
know, did you play a game?

"Was there some
kind of game?" No.

"Gym, did you go
to the gym?" Yes.

And then Daisy popped in with,

"Oh, yeah, his day program
me had gone to a health club,

and he had walked on a treadmill,
and he'd really enjoyed that."

At that point, Daisy had
stepped outside the room.

I said, "You know,
it's occurring to me

that I never actually asked
you what you like to be called.

Your brother told me your name was Derrick,
and I've been calling you, Derrick.

Tell me what do you
want me to call you?"

And he typed D-M-A-N.

I was looking at that, and it didn't
look like any name that I recognised.

Daisy came back in the
room at that point,

and I said, "He typed D-M-A-N.

Does that mean anything
to you? Does..."

She said, "Oh! He had
this really great teacher,

back when he was about 13 years
old, who used to call him DMan.

That was the teacher who got
him out of the wheelchair

and got him walking."

So I said, "Is she right?"

And he said, "Yes."

So I called him DMan from there.

That was a really
important moment.

Being able to tell people
what you wanna be called

is this important,
emotional aspect of life

that we take away from
people when they can't speak.

DMan and I saw each other
several hours a week.

And over the course of the
year, as he speeded up,

as his spelling
got a little better

it went from a
couple-word answers

to five-word answers

to a whole sentence,
to a couple sentences.

So by the end of a year,

we could really have
a decent conversation.

And he could then
be more expressive

and more detailed about
what he had to say.

And that was... that was
real progress. That's huge.

I didn't really feel like I was
getting to know him as a person

until he got to that stage.

Somewhat early on,
Anna started saying

Derrick had the intellectual
capacity to do high-level work

and to put sentences together and
do all these different things.

I was like, "Woah,
this is great."

She told us, "Because Derrick was
hanging around you all for so long"

and listened to your conversations,
and you went to movies,

and you would watch TV,

and so he's absorbing
all of these things,

"and so that's how he built
his body of knowledge."

Without, you know, going
through a peer-reviewed

assessment of those assertions, I
was like, "OK, I buy that, cool."

One of the things that
really bothered him was

that he hadn't had
the opportunity

to get a formal
education of any sort.

His brother was getting
a doctoral degree,

so he had watched his brother
and the whole process,

and he really, really, really
wanted to have that also.

So there was a course

being offered on Saturday
mornings at Rutgers Newark.

It was an African American
literature course,

and that looked really
interesting to him.

I guess the idea was for
Derrick to go to a class,

possibly write papers, or at
least be able to show the work

that may put him in line to
then go on and pursue a BA.

I was getting towards the
end of my PhD program me,

and so... you know, this
kind of thing, you know,

Black scholar. My baby brother,
who was developmentally disabled,

was gonna be a Black... could be
a Black scholar. I felt great.

I sat in the class with him

and provided communication
support for class.

We ended up finding
him a student

who would facilitate DMan for
doing part of the homework.

Her name was Sheronda Jones.

Sheronda met with
him outside of class

for several hours a week
so he could read the book

and then at least take a
crack at writing the essay.

She had never taken this class.

She never read the books. She
just provided the support.

He wasn't doing
400-level writing,

but he was correctly identifying
characters and plot elements.

He clearly had read the book
and understood the book.

From 1619,

when 20 of us were sold by a
Dutch ship to the English...

One day in class, the
professor started it out

by showing a film on the
entire African diaspora.

And DMan wrote something.

He wasn't expressing himself

as articulately as I
knew he was capable of,

and I was typing back to him
because we were in class.

So I typed back,

"What if you said it this
way, wouldn't this be better?"

And he typed, "I know
what you're saying,

but just read it the way I wrote
it." And I said, "OK, fair enough."

And then we got called
on right at that point.

I couldn't resist. I was sort
of editing slightly as I read,

which all it did
was make it worse.

Screwed up the whole thing,
but I got to the end,

and the discussion went on.

He typed,

"Never ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever do that again."

I can tell DMan's mad.

This was DMan furious.

And I typed back,
"I'm so sorry."

And he said, "I'm not mad,
but don't ever do that again."

Because, you know, I did speak
for him and that was wrong.

Needless to say, I
never did it before,

and I never did it since.

But he was pissed.

About a year after
DMan started typing,

my mother was organising this
panel with other FC users

for the Society For
Disability Studies Conference,

and she asked if he wanted
to be part of the panel.

I like to arrange conferences

that people with disabilities

can actually do some presenting.

What I had noticed was that,
in terms of the FC community,

Derrick was the only African
American, and saw this

as a very white space, and
in a way, Derrick was a

a path breaker, a trailblazer.

The Jackie Robinson of FC.

The panel was on the right
to communication clause

in the UN Convention
on Disability Rights.

But I said to him, "Don't worry about
the official topic of the panel."

Just write something about
the right to communicate,

or what it means to you
to be able to communicate.

He wanted to be able to refer
to some of the literature.

I was getting books for him.
Steven Pinker, who's a neurologist,

who's written about language
being very hardwired.

I got him some Piaget.

It wasn't much, but it
was to give him a taste.

So he was reading the books,
we were talking about things.

What he wrote for the panel

was very impressive to me.

It was less than a page,

but he had a choice of words,

a way of phrasing things.
It really struck me.

I just became more and more aware
that, you know, this was a man

who was very... insightful
and very thoughtful.

He spent a lot of
time sitting around,

and he was sitting
around thinking,

and give him some ideas
and something to work with,

and he was just digging
in and seeing stuff.

That is what I... I mean, that's
what I like in my friends.

That's honestly
what I like in men.

You know, I'm the kind of
nerdy, intellectual girl

who wants a nerdy,
intellectual guy.

You know, you find you really
enjoy talking to them, and

you know, you share tastes,

but you also disagree on
things, but you learn from it.

I mean, we were just having
those kinds of experiences.

But, you know, I was married.
My marriage wasn't terrific,

but I wasn't in any way thinking
about going outside the relationship.

I wasn't shopping around.
It was nothing like that.

At the time,

if you'd asked me, you know,
"How do you feel about DMan?"

It's, you know,
"He's my friend."

I just really, really liked him, and
I really, really enjoyed his company,

and I was really
impressed by him.

In March of 2011,

I invited DMan to speak
to an undergraduate class

where we were talking
about disability issues.

So students were
asking him questions,

and somebody asked him about, you
know, what his hopes and dreams were.

And he talked about
going to college

and maybe being
a writer someday,

which was kind of
where he was heading.

And then somebody else
in the class said to him,

you know, what about love?
What about relationships?

Is that something
that you hope for?

And he typed, "I want
that more than anything,

but that doesn't happen for people
with disabilities like mine."

And

in that moment...

I mean, what I
wanted to say was...

I-I almost

you know, y-y-you know,
you can have that with me.

I started thinking about, "OK, well,
wow, if this is the way I'm feeling,

OK, I've gotta
think about this."

And I didn't... I still didn't
wanna say anything to him.

I was like, "Look, I've gotta
figure this out." I mean...

I had my husband and my kids.

I-I... OK, I'm in love with
DMan. I realise this now, but...

I'm not gonna say anything. I have to
sort all of this out. It was awkward.

Then I saw him
about a week later,

and I found myself saying

that I help the other people that
I do facilitated communication with

because I believe so strongly

that everyone has a
right to communication.

And then I said, "I do what I
do for you because I love you."

And he typed,

he said, "I know.

I love you too."

And I said, "I know."

He asked me to kiss
him, and I did.

And

then he said, "Kiss me again."

And I did, and

he said, "So now what?"

As things went along,

Derrick started going
on the speaking circuit,

I guess, going to these
conferences and all.

And there started
to be some tension.

♪ Can you see it No,
no, no, you can't see it

♪ A man asked me...

They were driving to this event
in suburban Trenton somewhere,

and my mom was
playing gospel music.

And Anna goes and
turns the station...

and puts on classical music.

"He doesn't wanna hear
this, he wants that."

She had ejected my gospel music,

so I hit it, and it
went back to playing.

♪ ..be right at home... ♪

Derrick loves gospel. He goes
to church. He hears the music.

That assumption that he prefers
the high culture of classical music

and not the low culture of
gospel, I mean, it was just

uh... too much of a leap.

Slow down.

There were different
things, like one day,

when we broke for lunch,

I was cutting up his chicken,

and she rolled over
to the table and said,

"What are you doing giving
him meat?! He's a vegetarian."

I said, "Nobody sent
me any friggin' memo."

There was another time she's working
with Derrick on the computer.

I said something to the effect to Derrick
jokingly, "I can't wait till we get home

so we can kick... get a beer,
kick back and just relax."

And then on the keyboard, it
said something to the effect of,

"Well, I don't like
beer. I like red wine."

And I just thought that
to be hell a peculiar.

Derrick does not... He doesn't
even like communion wine.

If you're in a "giving
care" frame of mind,

you don't see the
person you're supporting

as somebody who's in a position
to make their own decisions,

who has their own ideas about
how they want things done.

OK.

OK.

You wanna give them some control

to develop into a person who
has a good sense of themselves.

Come on.

So that part is

a hard adjustment for
parents or teachers

who've been in a "I'm
taking care of you" mode.

Turn your feet. Turn your body.

Now step off. Thank you.

My mom kept telling me oh, you
know, Anna was saying that,

you know, she's too mothering,
she's smothering Derrick,

Derrick doesn't want all
of this help from her,

that, you know, you can't
be my mom all the time.

All these different things, that it
seemed to be breaking my mom down.

And... then to add to that,

this idea that, oh, Derrick now
wants to live independently.

DMan had wanted to look into a more
independent living arrangement,

moving out of his mother's house

and moving into a
supported living situation.

There was an organisation

that was able to provide
supervised housing for Derrick.

Derrick would have individuals
looking out for him 24 hours a day.

He would take classes.
He would get his degree.

As my mom was telling
me this, I thought,

"Where's this money gonna come from
for this? It's not gonna be free."

And I just kind
of saw that as...

"Alright, you're getting a
little too personal here.

Now you're looking into
Derrick's support?"

'And I just wasn't
comfortable with that.'

I said, "Anna

if he's gonna move in a place,
he's gonna move in the basement

where John lived before
John got on his own.

Derrick is not going anywhere."

"You need to cut
the apron strings."

I said, "How am I gonna
cut my apron strings

when Derrick cannot walk, talk,
or do anything on his own?"

"See, that's where you're
wrong. Derrick can do it."

"You're opening up a
whole new world for him.'"

The ways in which
she talked to my mom,

you know, not mothering
the proper way,

and saying that Derrick doesn't
like this and wants this,

or "Daisy, you need
to let him be a MAN."

It just kind of rubbed
me the wrong way.

Part of it might be a level of
self-consciousness on my part

because I remember growing up in
the late '80s, early '90s, and

you know, when my mom and dad
separated and then divorced,

the idea of single
parenthood was resonant.

There was all these
studies about,

you know, "Children of single-parent
households just don't do well".

You know, invariably
it was framed around,

you know, "Black women
aren't good parents",

"there's things that Black women
can't teach their sons", and

all of that was
kind of in my ear.

Now, I think it's
important to recognise

that my mom, prior to all
of this, was affiliated

with a number of organisations that
were headed by women of colour,

who were advocates for people
of colour with disabilities,

who otherwise may
have been overlooked.

For Anna to make
certain assumptions

about my mom's expertise
or her decision-making

and those kinds of things,

it just has those racial
undertones and overtones.

It wasn't like, you know,

"Nigger, get in the back
of the bus" kind of racism.

It wasn't that, but it was
more like making assumptions

based on the idea certain people
might be inherently... deficient.

Anna was just ignoring
the past 30-some-odd years

and everything that my mom has done
to get us to this point, right?

And so I had it in my mind,

we're gonna have a
long conversation.

We are gonna have to, like,
really set some hard, fast rules,

or we may have to just kind
of begin to draw things down.

DMan and I had debated
on several occasions

whether we wanted
to say anything

to Daisy and John about the
change in our relationship.

We knew we were gonna
tell them eventually.

So it was more just

we were enjoying that

kind of initial
beginning of a romance

when it's very private,
and it's very intimate,

and it's just the two
of you, and it changes

when you start
sharing with family.

'But we had started
figuring out'

ways that we could, you know,
try to spend time together.

And there was the Sunday.

DMan and I had made plans to go
to a film festival in New York,

where there was a
film being shown

called Wretches And Jabberers,
which was about FC users.

'Daisy wanted to go to
church that morning.'

And in thinking about
locations and stuff

for eventual
romantic rendezvous,

we definitely
didn't want to use,

you know, his mother's house.

But, you know, here
we are at the house,

and she's not there, and

it's difficult for him to kiss,

so we wanted to practise.

Like anything else, it was a
physical challenge for him.

I could tell that
he's very tense,

and every time he
tried to sit back,

he would kind of pop up again.

And I said, like,
"Talk to me, you know,

obviously, this is not working
for you. What's going on?"

And he typed,

"I really, really love being with
you, and I wanna be doing this,

but I'm just really overwhelmed
right now, I need a minute."

And I said, you know, "Fine, take
all the time you need, of course."

So he excluded himself
down the hallway,

and I got a glass of water. I
was just giving him some time.

And I said to him,
"Look, you know",

you're the one where this is
all a brand-new thing for you.

You've gotta call the
shots. You've gotta

you know, I don't wanna do anything
that makes you uncomfortable.

I don't wanna push
anything faster.

I don't know what's gonna work
for your body and what isn't,

"so you tell me."

I was figuring at that point

that, like, the moment had
passed, and that was alright.

And

he typed, "May I
touch your breasts?"

And I was like, "Wow, OK."

I didn't know where that was...
That wasn't what I was expecting.

OK.

And then he typed,

"Take your shirt
off all the way."

I was like, "OK." So I did that.

And then he said, "Take the
rest of your clothes off."

And OK, so I did.

And, um

then he said, "You know,
I've dreamed about this."

It seemed to me that
what he was doing

was taking control
of the situation.

He was, like, really
ordering me around and,

but that was kind of cool because
I wasn't necessarily anticipating

that element of
the relationship.

He said,

"I long to hold you
the way that men do."

I said to him,
"Look, I feel held."

He

Said,

"Do you think that it
would even be possible

with my cerebral palsy

for us to make love?"

And I said, "You
know, I have no idea,

but there's only... there's
only one way to find out."

We had this meeting scheduled
for Memorial Day for DMan

to talk to Daisy and John about
the independent living counsellor.

And DMan brought up, or I brought
up, I don't even remember,

you know, should we also
use this opportunity

to tell them about the
change in our relationship?

But I said to him, "Look, if Daisy
and John did get upset about this

and chose to separate us,

technically, that's a
violation of your rights,

but it would be very hard
to challenge them on that."

'He said to me...'

"They would never do that to
me. They love me too much."

We all sit down, and

there just seemed to be this
awkwardness about it, you know?

If we're gonna talk business,
let's talk business.

But she seemed... She
looked at Derrick and said,

"Do you want me to tell them?"

And so...

I'm like, "Tell us what?"

And then she grabs
Derrick's hand,

and on the keyboard comes up,

"We are in love."

So he typed, you know,
"Anna and I are in love,

and we've, you know, we have
a physical relationship,"

I think John said something about,
you know, "Did you use protection?"

and DMan said, "Yes," and...

She said, "Yes, we
have made love."

And I was like, "What?"

"Yes, we've made love.

He's a man in every
sense of the word."

And what I did, I
sat on my hands,

and I said, "You did what?"

You know, they asked me

about where things were
at with my husband,

and, you know, I told them

I really did wanna, you know, be
with DMan permanently to marry him,

that I hadn't talked
to my husband yet,

but that I was going
to very soon, and...

There was a moment as
part of the conversation

where he asked me to kiss him,
I found that a little awkward.

Like, I didn't really want to
in that moment, just like...

You know, but he
insisted, so I did.

I tried to be civil.

John had gone somewhere, and I
think he went down and threw up.

I was shocked.

I didn't really know what to
make of it at the time, but...

I felt myself getting so angry,

and rage-filled that I left.

I went downstairs. I paced
the floor a bunch of times.

I looked at the cracks in
the wall. I remember...

I had to

let my anger subside.

I said goodbye to DMan, and
Daisy was there, and she,

you know, came and
gave me a big hug

and said, "You know,
we'll get through this.

We'll figure this out."

I was heading out the door and
just saying goodbye to DMan.

I said, you know, I said to him,
like, "Good call, love, hon.

You know, hon, it was a
good choice to tell them."

And then I left, and, you
know, I was feeling fine.

John called me the next morning

about 10 o'clock in
the morning, and...

I think I knew something
was gonna be wrong

when I saw he was calling.

He said, "Daisy and I
don't want you to see DMan

until you, and she and I have
a chance to sit down and talk."

We sort of scheduled a
meeting, then she pulled out.

Then John or Daisy
got back to me

and said, "You know what?
We just don't wanna meet."

That was when... Then I
started calling Daisy...

She would talk to
me on the phone.

I would kind of address her
concerns and talk about things.

And then she stopped
returning my calls.

One of the things that happened
with the facilitated communication

was that part of the sessions
were for us, my mom and I,

to also practise with him.

And so Anna would
be there with him,

and you know, a
sentence will come out.

"Alright, John, you try." So I would
try to, and I would get nothing.

You know, eventually he
would apply pressure.

I may get two words, but
it wouldn't make sense.

And then when my mama
tried, nothing would happen.

See all these marks on my arm?
That was Derrick's facilitating.

He would grab me
and pull my hand,

you know, take my
hand away from his.

The coaching from Anna was,

"You have to keep trying.
You have to keep practising.

You have to anticipate
what he's gonna say."

That was one of
those like, "Hm?"

That's when I guess my own
doubts started to creep in,

and that's when
I started looking

for the video that I
initially saw in the classroom

to see, what in the world
am I doing wrong? Um...

And that's when I stumbled upon
the Frontline Documentary on FC.

Some people had doubts about
facilitated communication.

Dr Howard Shane has
devoted his life

to helping disabled non-verbal
people to communicate.

You must be Dr Shane. How
are you? Great to meet you.

In 1990, I got a call

from a prosecutor in
Western Massachusetts

because someone was
being facilitated,

and while being facilitated,

he mentioned that his aid
in his group residence

was sexually abusing him.

And the prosecutor
wanted to be sure

that this individual was actually
independently communicating.

When you have somebody
hold your hand,

it obviously brings up
the question every time,

"Well, are they
being influenced?"

How can you be sure
that these individuals

are actually, you know,
independently communicating?

Or they aren't being facilitated
and really being influenced?

I went on to design a protocol

that would enable me

to determine who was
authoring the message.

OK, folks, what I'm
gonna be doing now...

Shane had devised a
double-blind test like this.

He showed both a
series of pictures

and asked them to
type what they saw.

Betsy, you sure
you're looking at...

When both Betsy and her
facilitators saw a picture of a key

the letters K-E-Y were typed.

But Shane wanted to
discover what happened

if each saw a different picture.

When Betsy saw a cup,

she didn't type "cup",
she typed "hat",

what the facilitator saw.

Now take a look at this one, OK?

When Betsy was shown
a picture of a dog,

she didn't type
"dog", but "sneakers",

what the facilitator saw.

OK, here's the next one.

Later work that I did
and others have done

seems to indicate that
facilitators were doing this

thinking they were giving people the
ability to be able to communicate.

I don't think that
they're intentionally

trying to create
a false message.

They believe that this
is coming from the person

who's being facilitated.

The scientific
evidence suggested

that far from unlocking the
minds of autistic individuals,

FC tapped the unconscious
thoughts of the facilitator.

I just remember
thinking at the time,

you know, Derrick was
writing those papers.

What I find interesting,
in hindsight,

is that a lot of it
revolved around this idea of

you know, "Now I have a voice.
Now I can speak and talk,"

and, uh...

"Whereas I was trapped,
now I have this freedom."

And a lot of it
revolved around things

that just, in my
estimation, were not

about Derrick.

And so to me, it was just like
this whole FC thing is bogus.

I never got any vibe
off of John or Daisy

that they didn't 100% believe

that what DMan said
was DMan's words.

I had been careful
in the beginning

to make sure that I
wasn't influencing him,

but there were so many,
so many situations

that he was telling me
information I didn't know.

In the beginning, I was checking to
make sure that I wasn't influencing,

and the fact that we had
arguments and disagreements,

and so on, and so forth, I mean,
he very clearly had his own mind.

He more than proved himself.

The homework assignments
that DMan had typed

with Sheronda, and she
hadn't read the books.

I mean, had John come and talk
to me, I had all of this... proof

that I could have shared
with him to reassure him.

At the time, we weren't trying to
pursue any kind of legal thing.

We just wanted to
leave us alone.

But then one day,

the Director of Derrick's Day
program me got an email from Anna.

And the gist of it was,

"Daisy and John have not
allowed me to see Derrick,

but Daisy and John don't know
what's in Derrick's best interest,

but we, as people who work with
people with disabilities, do."

And at that point, I
thought, "You know what?"

If she's gonna go
to these lengths to

try to get to Derrick
behind our back,

there's no telling
what she may do,

"and I need to take steps
necessary to put an end to this."

And so I made an appointment
to meet with the Dean.

I remember going
into her office,

and I started to tell
her what was going on.

She kinda froze and was like

took a deep breath and
was somewhat in disbelief.

I don't think I had taken
the opportunity to kind of

let myself release this emotion.

I was just sat in that
office... ..and I don't think

I ever cried in front of a white
woman before, but I just broke down.

And she basically said to me,

in so many words, "John,
make sure you get a lawyer."

I got a phone call
one day from Daisy,

and she said...

She said, "He's been biting his hand
a lot more. He's really unhappy."

So she said, "I'm just
trying to understand

what happened between
the two of you."

To me, it sounded like,

"Oh, maybe this is an opening.
Maybe they're seeing he's unhappy,

and they're reconsidering, and,"

so I was happy to
answer her questions.

You know, again, that feels
kinda weird to talk about with

your lover's mother,

but, you know, whatever.

If it kept the conversation
going, and if she was listening...

I found out later that that was

that phone call had been
set up by the police,

and they had coached
her on what to say,

and it was being recorded.

The crimes investigated are crimes
of the sexual assault nature.

It was a Monday,

and I was teaching
class in the afternoon,

so I pulled into
the parking lot,

and I was approached by two
people in plain clothes.

And they said, "We're with the
Essex County Prosecutor's Office,

and we need to ask
you some questions."

And the only thing I could think
of was something about a student.

You know, I'm wondering
what's going on.

And then they said,

"Do you know somebody
named Derrick Johnson?"

I was like...

"OK," you know? And that was...

It's starting to
penetrate that, um...

"Wow, OK, this is..."

So then I had to make
a decision on the spot

about how much do I say.

But I figured, "You know what?
I didn't do anything wrong."

I talked to them for about two hours,
and I told them the whole story.

That we were in love
and all of that stuff.

I just didn't actually
say the words,

you know, "We consummated
the relationship."

They drove me back to the
parking lot at Rutgers,

and there was a
person I didn't know,

who identified himself as a
representative of the Dean's Office.

He handed me a letter,
and the letter informed me

as of this moment, I was suspended
from my teaching duties at Rutgers,

I was not allowed on campus.

And while I was there,

they had gone to my house
with a search warrant.

My... now ex-husband was there,

so he's found out that
I'm under investigation.

This is Detective
Christine McKowski

of the Essex County
Prosecutor's Office.

Today, we're conducting an
interview with Ms Karen Moore. Um...

I got a call from my assistant

saying that the Special Victims
Unit in New Jersey was calling.

Asked me if I would be willing

provide some assistance
as an expert.

As it was described to me,

I'd never encountered any case

that mirrored these
particular circumstances.

I had never seen
anything like it.

In this case, the
question to me was,

"Could you evaluate
Derrick to understand

his best level of
communication?"

From everything that I read,

there was a consistency to
the extent of his disability,

but I went in with an open mind.

I met him when he was brought
to the prosecutor's office.

He was accompanied by his
brother and his mother.

'I already knew that
he had no speech.'

So I proceeded

to introduce different types

of materials for
him to indicate.

Pictures, photographs,
which are very realistic.

It was difficult
for him, you know,

I really didn't get
very much from that.

He was able to pick up some objects,
but not when I said, you know,

"Pick up the spoon,"
or, "Pick up the cup."

I did an interview
of his mother.

Based on everything
that she had observed,

and she certainly was
a very good observer,

I found that he was, you know,
functioning at a pretty low level.

His way of telling you that
he wanted something to eat

was he would scoot over
to the refrigerator

and tap on the refrigerator.
That's very functional.

But to move from that to pointing
to a picture of the refrigerator,

that's a greater
level of abstraction.

And in all the years he had been
in these different programmes,

he had never moved
from the physical

to that type of communication.

I spent two or three
hours with him.

He spent a lot of time just
moving around the room.

He liked coat hangers, so
if he saw a coat hanger,

he would go over, and
he recognised that.

He liked to slap
'em on the floor.

So I just basically
reported what I found.

I made a determination
that what I was observing

was consistent with what the
medical record had indicated

for, you know, over
20 years of his life.

There was no one in the 20 years

who saw some sparkling of,
you know, something different.

I was actually looking
forward to the trial

as finally, this nightmare
is gonna be over.

I knew she was not
guilty of anything.

I'm not guilty

of what they were
accusing me of.

If the accusation is

I have some weird
perversion that makes me

want to molest helpless,
intellectually impaired people.

'that's simply not the case.'

This whole thing is framed

in terms of consent and
his ability to consent

because I'm the one
who's accused of assault.

It's all as if it was
all coming from me,

which is really not fair to him

because he seduced me,

and he deserves some
credit for that.

Here's this guy who's
so physically impaired,

and he

he got me to fall in love
with him, and with his words.

The judge kept
taking things away

and taking things away
in terms of evidence.

I knew that DMan was the
author of what he typed.

I wasn't influencing him,
but at the end of the day,

I didn't have anything
except my word for that.

There was a morning,
the prosecutor said,

"We're gonna bring DMan
into the courtroom."

It was Daisy who walked him in.

I had to say who he was.

And, you know, I was his mother.

And the fact that he could not
walk by himself independently,

I just walked him

in front of the judge and
then around by the jury stand.

It was horrifying to me

that a human being had been
basically made an exhibit.

I know with DMan, there are
ways of walking with him

in which he looks
less handicapped,

and his mother walked him in

in a way that made him
look as handicapped

and incapable as one
could possibly manage.

She turned around
again, and she turned

always putting her body
in between him and... me,

and walked him out.

What we didn't have
on the jury was anyone

with significant physical
disabilities or that understanding

of a disability rights
perspective on the whole case.

At the end of the
day, it was just

be myself and tell my story, and

hopefully, the jury would
see that guy over there

is this wonderful, intelligent
man who I was in love with.

Was there any moment, either
during your time with Derrick,

or during the trial, or now,

where you had doubts about what
might have occurred between you two?

Never.

Her attorney came, and he was
making me to be the villain.

And he said, "Well,
how do you feel

about her being his lover?"

I said, "No." I said,
"She's not his lover."

This whore done laid
down, raped my son,

and I had to compose
myself because

that's my son.

Days and nights, I walked
through hospital corridors

not knowing what was
wrong with my son,

not knowing his
medical condition,

him having seizures.

And for that moment,

I almost lost it.

I did.

I really did.

Because who does that?

Who does that?

And then go criticise me.

Make me look like
I'm... I'm nobody,

I don't understand.

Who does that?

I don't think that Anna
Stubblefield truly recognised

how she devalued my brother

and also devalued my family.

It's one thing to

hear Anna Stubblefield say,
"Derrick and I love each other."

Just like...

But as the details of what
actually transpired unfold,

that she was in her office,

she had this mat on the floor.

And then you recall
that moment or that day

where I was changing
Derrick's diaper,

and I saw these
abrasions on his back.

Strawberries, like somebody's
dragging you across the floor.

And we couldn't figure out where
the heck these things came from.

We called the school.
"Did Derrick fall down?

Did something happen at the school?
Did somebody hit my brother?"

They're like, "No, nothing
happened. We don't know."

Prosecutor's trying to figure out what
happened. The story comes out, "Oh!

Something happened
in the office."

And, I mean, this
woman, 140, 150 pounds,

I don't know how much she weighed,
but she's much heavier than him.

Derrick is slight.
He's 5'3 ", 5'4".

And she was exerting
so much force on him

that his back was being
drug across this mat,

and it was leaving scars.

That woman did not give
a damn about my brother.

I didn't think I was
gonna be convicted,

but I wear contacts,

and that morning when
the jury came back,

I did put my
glasses in my purse.

It was my one little
concession to.

If I ended up in prison,
I needed my glasses.

I think by the time

the verdict actually came.

I was expecting it.

When the jury read
the conviction,

I started saying out
loud to the judge,

"Just please let me take
care of my daughter.

Just please let me take
care of my daughter."

Never doubted her.

No, not for an instant.

I mean, I watched her interact
with people her whole life,

and she is

as compassionate a person
as I've ever known.

And there's no way, I mean,
she's never harmed anybody.

And there's certainly no way
she would've harmed a man.

Do you think she believed
that he was typing?

Yeah, in her wicked mind.

In her wicked mind.

State versus Marjorie
Anna Stubblefield,

indictment number 13-1-44.

We are here today for the sentencing
of Marjorie Anna Stubblefield.

Yes, Your Honour. The victim's
brother, John Johnson,

would like to address the court,
his mother would like to approach

and stand with him while
he addresses the court.

That's fine.

Good afternoon, Your Honour.

Good afternoon.

Thirty-four years
ago, doctors said

my brother would not live
to see his third birthday.

Those doctors and
the devil are liars.

My brother since then has grown
to become a loving person.

He is a beautiful brother,
and he is a beautiful son.

I don't think Anna understood the
depth of pain she caused my family.

She tried to lay claim
to him and rename him.

She tried to supplant
Derrick's life,

a life steeped...

Go ahead.

Take your time.

Take your time.

A life steeped in the
history and culture

of his God-fearing, southern-rooted
African-American family.

She tried to supplant that
with some version of life

she thought was better.

We need to disenchant
ourselves from the notion

that Anna Stubblefield
is some tragic "shero".

Anna is not Sandra Bullock,
and this is not The Blind Side.

Derrick is not some poor
Black kid from the ghetto

that needs someone to save him.

An able-bodied woman
raped a disabled young man

that could not consent to sex.

You were wrong, Anna.
You committed a crime.

There is no grey
area. In closing,

thank Your Honour for helping
bring this ordeal to a close.

I have read and
received letters

from the former husband
of the defendant,

who wrote a very compelling
impact statement.

"I believe that Anna is a
pathological liar and narcissist."

She will stop at nothing to fool
the court and seek vindication

regardless of the emotional
and financial expense

to her family or the
primary victim's family.

Clearly, I am distraught,

but this and the impact
on my immediate family,

"I leave it to the wisdom of the
court to determine a just sentence."

Ms Stubblefield, please stand.

As to count one,

first-degree aggravated
sexual assault,

where the victim was physically
helpless or mentally incapacitated,

I sentence you to 12 years
in New Jersey State Prison.

As to count two, I sentence you

to 12 years New Jersey State
Prison concurrent with count one.

After you are
released from prison,

you are placed on parole
supervision for life.

I never thought that
she was a predator.

She truly believed
that what she was doing

was in Derrick's best interest.

She thought that he
deserves the opportunity

to have a life outside of, you
know, living with his mother.

But I think that
given what I observed,

and what I learned
from his record,

I think that it would've
been a false life with Anna.

I think that she was
a unfortunate victim

of methodology that's
very problematic.

However, she interpreted
what was going on,

whether she actually had
those conversations with him,

I don't know. But she... you
know, from my perspective,

she was having
conversations with herself.

Um, and, you know...

I don't know where
to even go with that.

When I first came
out of prison,

I managed to pick up
a waitressing job,

and then there was some publicity
around when I did the plea bargain

and I was sentenced, and

one of their customers
complained, and so they let me go.

So I was doing
that kind of thing

for the first year.

And then I do have,

you know, what's now
kind of part-time work.

I'm working at home,
nobody knows me.

And so, you know, that's OK,

but it's not teaching.

That was my whole identity.
That was everything.

I don't know what DMan's
life is like now, um...

As far as his
mother and brother,

I think they had
to really decide

that he wasn't intelligent,

and he wasn't typing, and it
was all a fraud and a hoax.

A friend of mine, who is
another... somebody else

who uses facilitated
communication,

who knew DMan and was
friends with DMan, um...

He said, "Look, if I was DMan,

I would rather have

had the relationship
with you and lost it

than never to have had
it in the first place."

So I hope that he's right.

You know, um, but...

Yeah.

People don't think that
there was damage done.

Yes, there was.

And it's still going on.

I had to put him on medication.

Because he

masturbates.

He has this urge,

and, you know, it's like a
itch that he can't scratch.

And it's hard enough to give him

a life

without him going through that.

And she did that.

Because if you don't ever strike
that match or do whatever,

how will you ever know?

There we go.

Showing all your muscles, huh?

You good?

Ready?

'One of the tough things
about this whole process

is that there was this idea

that, "Oh, he can do all
these wonderful things."

And then to have to...

Looking at everything
that was taking place,

then say... that he can't.'

You got the walk right
there, haven't you?

Alright.

In a sense I kinda
felt as though

I was diminishing his value.
"Yeah, Derrick can't do that."

Pick 'em up and put 'em down.

Pick 'em up.

'Going through that process
of having to recognise that,

"Damn, yeah, he is really
disabled." And that's fine.'

He can't do all other things
that other people can do.

And that's perfectly fine because
we're gonna be alright regardless.

OK.

Oh, you gonna show
them that smile?

Yeah, say, "Here I am."

The psychiatrist determined
that Derrick was deemed

incapable and incompetent
of taking care of himself.

Well, I knew.

I knew.

And knowing and accepting it,

and just embrace him. Just
love him for who he is.

No matter what or how

strong he gets,
he's still my child.

He will always have
that younger mindset.

And I, you know,
he's 40 years old,

and that's where we are.

You OK?

And I don't love him no less,
and I don't love him no more.

He's my baby.

He... is my baby.

Go ahead.

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