All language subtitles for Secrets Of Isis 1x12 Funny Gal VO

Oh, my queen, said the royal sorcerer to
Hatshepsut, with this amulet, you and

your descendants are endowed by the
goddess Isis with the powers of the

animals and the element. You will soar
as the falcon soars, run with the speed

of gazelles, and command the elements of
sky and earth.

Three thousand years later, a young
science teacher dug up this lost

treasure and found she was heir to...

The Secrets of ISIS.

And so, unknown to even her closest
friends, Rick Mason and Cindy Lee, she

became a dual person. Andrea Thomas,
teacher.

Almighty ISIS.

And ISIS, dedicated foe of evil,
defender of the weak, champion of truth

and justice.

What are you dressed up for this time? I
am the ghost of the past and the spirit

of the now.

Could be. You do look a little spooky.

Hey, listen.

Speaking of ghosts, I thought you were
going to become one at the destruction

derby last Saturday. I never figured
you'd get out in one piece. Don't be

silly. With all this blubber I carry
around, they couldn't hurt me. I don't

know why I bother with you. You're
hopeless.

My lovely.

What are you going to do next?

Oh, something worthy of my talents.

Carrie, you are a nut.

But you're a million less. I'll catch
you later. Later.

Nice to know somebody's happy.

Now, if Benjamin Franklin had done this
experiment instead of playing with that

silly old kite... He sure would have
looked funny.

Right, Pat?

Something's wrong. Carrie's in trouble.

bad kid.

the queen of the uglies. That's a
terrible thing to say.

You should stop putting yourself down
that way.

A person's got to be realistic.

You're not being realistic. You're just
being foolish.

You can't expect other people to like
you unless you like yourself first.

Unless you know where I can get a body
transplant.

What's to like?

Your mind, your sense of humor.

You always keep the kids laughing.
Uh-huh, and as soon as it stops, the

guys go off with the chicks, you know,
the ones that look great in bikinis.

Nobody cares if they got a mind.

Carrie, you are an intelligent girl.
Believe me. I'd rather not be so

intelligent. I could just be a little
prettier.

I brought some of my special homemade
fried chicken I had left over from last

night. And some potato salad. Sounds
great.

I have a couple of deviled egg
sandwiches and a chicken salad.

What did you bring, Rick?

What do you mean, what did I bring?

You guys invited me.

Invited you?

Well, we just said, why don't you have
lunch with us?

Well, if that's not an invitation, what
is?

All right.

You can have some of my chicken.

I suppose you can have one of my deviled
egg sandwiches.

You are too.

wonderful human beings. That's what you
are.

You know something, Mr. Mason?

I think you ought to get married.

I'm going to.

You are?

When?

As soon as I find someone who looks like
Isis and cooks like you.

If that's your attitude towards women,
you're going to end up a very old and

hungry bachelor.

Not to change the subject or anything,
but what are we going to do about Carrie

Anson?

Well, why don't we just leave her alone?
It looks like she's having a good time

with Greg.

She's a very unhappy girl, Rick.

Carrie thinks of herself as a big, fat
zero.

And I'm not trying to be funny.

That's why she keeps putting herself
down.

It's her way of saying, hey, look at me,
I'm a person.

Well, what do you want to do about it?

Listen, see if this makes any sense.

The elections for student body president
are coming up, right?

Right. What would happen if, quote,
spontaneous, unquote, campaign started

to get Carrie elected?

Great idea, Cindy.

That should convince her that people
really like her and respect her for

being just herself.

Say, Greg's in one of my classes.

How about if I slyly insert the idea
into his head about starting the

campaign? Fantastic.

That kind of thinking is worth it.

Two pieces of chicken any day.

And a deviled egg sandwich.

Marvelous.

That's a super idea, Mr. Mason. I wish
I'd thought of it. Oh, my blessings on

you, my boy. You know, maybe it's the
wrong word to use, but I've always been

impressed with Carrie. Well, Carrie's a
very impressive gal. She does hide her

IQ, though. Yeah, but, well, sometimes
I'm almost a little afraid to talk to

her.

How come?

Well, you get too serious with her and
she starts to clown around. It's like

she doesn't want you to get too close to
her. You know, I know what you mean.

You know, and the way she talks about
herself?

Carrie Anson, the female Moby Dick, Miss
20th Century Ugly.

Boy, you know, it's going to be tough to
change that image into a contender for

student body president.

Do you think you can do it, Gray?

Sure, Mr. Mason.

Hey, I don't even know what our campaign
slogan's going to be.

Vote for Carrie Anson for student body
president.

Anything for a laugh.

Okay, I'll see you later. Yeah. All
right.

Well, what'd you expect, dummy?

That anybody would really think you were
good enough to be student body

president?

I promise I will have... Harry, quit
fooling around. This is an important

speech. Look, nobody's going to take my
running for office seriously, including

you. Are you kidding?

Of course I take it seriously.

Okay, then wait till you see my new
idea.

Turn your head. Don't peek until I've
blown it up.

You're going to love this. I'm sure.

Okay, wait.

All right, now, turn around.

Ta-da!

Vote for the candidate who looks like
this. Neat, huh?

Carrie, when are you going to stop doing
this? Doing what?

Putting yourself down.

Aw, come on, Greg, is this a joke?

I don't think comparing yourself to a
balloon is funny.

Okay, you don't like that?

How's this for an idea?

I challenge my opponents to an
eat-a-thon.

A what?

An eat-a-thon.

We line up 500 pizzas on a school track,
and the first one to eat his way to the

finish line wins.

Carrie, you're impossible.

And if you don't like that, I've got an
even better idea.

No, no.

Rick, this is the third time you've
invited us to go boating, and this is

the third time we haven't even left the
dock.

Is this boat glued to its lip?

You don't understand.

Half the fun of boating is the
preparation.

Fun for who?

For whom.

Okay, fun for whom?

Look, all of this preparation is very
necessary, and I promise both of you

that the next time we come out here,
I'll take you out into... Rick, there's

not going to be a next time.

Your slaves have just emancipated
themselves.

I know what both of you need, a nice
cold drink.

It's going to take more than a cold
drink to straighten out my sore back.

Cindy, you and I are two fairly
intelligent young women. How did we let

him con us into this three times in a
row?

Just lucky, I guess.

There, now you relax and enjoy that.

And I don't want either one of you to
dare do one lick of work for at least

ten minutes.

Ten minutes?

He's been out in the sun too long.

How's the...

Carrie's campaign going.

Not too good, I'm afraid.

She seems to have this picture of
herself as a war shower. She just can't

get rid of it.

Well, Greg's working really hard. I know
that for sure. I hope he can help her

break through that barrier she's built
up. Aim into that.

Well, time's up. Let's get back to work.
Hippity hop.

Hey, wait a minute. Where are you going?

Come back here.

That's mutiny.

How's the campaign going?

Well, according to my latest unofficial
poll, we're going to lose. And for only

one reason.

Nobody's going to vote for me. Carrie,
you could have this election locked up

if you wanted to.

Come on, Greg.

I know you never really believed us to
the chance.

You do, huh?

How do you know that?

I... Well, I... I just know, that's all.

Why do you think I've been beating my
brains out?

Laughs. What else?

Like me.

Well, thanks a lot for wasting my time.

Miss Thomas?

Carrie, you got a minute?

Sure, come on in.

What can I do for you?

Well, do you think you could talk Mr.
Mason into lending me his boat?

I think it would be easier talking him
into lending you his right arm.

I know, but I got a great idea for a
publicity stunt.

Carrie, you know the Star Tracker is his
pride and joy.

And I'm afraid he already knows all
about those publicity stunts of yours.

Miss Thomas, it's awful important. I've
just got to have that vote.

Will you ask him?

Okay. We're playing tennis later, and
I'll ask him. But I can't promise

anything, so don't count on it.

Thanks.

Thanks anyway.

Okay. See you later. Yeah.

No tennis?

Yeah, of course, but Dr. Barnes caught
me just as I was leaving. I'll go to the

girls' gym and change.

No, that's all right. I just got here
myself.

There's a storm coming in, and I wanted
to make sure the boat was secure.

Speaking of your boat... Do you know who
I almost ran into?

Well, actually, it was vice versa. Who?

Carrie Anson. She was coming into the
marina just as I was leaving.

Rick, Carrie asked me if I would ask you
if you would lend her your boat.

You're kidding.

When I said I didn't think you would,
she seemed very upset.

Well, you're absolutely right. I
wouldn't think... You don't think... I

better check on the boat. Right.

That doesn't make every newscast in town
I don't deserve to be student body

president. Now, just one more thing.

Mr.

Mason, I owe you a new microphone.

This is like looking for a needle in a
haystack.

There's a storm moving in. I'll have to
find Carrie before it hits.

I guess it's time to head back now.

Wouldn't you know it, every time there's
an emergency, she disappears. What

emergency? What are you talking about?

Oh, come on, I'll tell you on the way to
the marina.

Where can she be?

I don't find her soon.

I pulled a really dumb stunt this time,
and I'm in a lot of trouble.

More than you know, Carrie, there's a
storm coming in, and I can't help you

here and stop the storm.

I'm going to need a little help on this
one.

Tut, hear me, and take to flight.

Now to find Captain Marvel.

in marble. I need him.

Fly due west.

Hang in there, Carrie.

Help's on the way.

Thank you, Isis.

Now to see about holding off that storm.

Oh, zephyr winds which blow on high,
lift me now so I can fly.

Looks like a little housework is needed
here.

What?

What is it?

Did I just send you?

Does she need me?

Which way is she?

West of here.

All right, Ted, I'll take care of her
from here.

until Captain Marvel arrives to help
carry it.

Oh, mighty storm that will also free.

Now roll back. Come to see.

The storm seems to be letting up.

Of course, that's it.

Isis can't hold back the storm and still
bring the boat in at the same time.

Isis sent for me.

Now let's see about getting you out of
here.

I've got to thank you, Captain Marvel.

I do. Just don't get into a situation
where I'll have to do this again.

And you, Isis? Same goes for me. Just
don't do it again.

Oh, don't worry. I've learned my lesson.

Two lessons.

If people like you and Captain Marvel
and Greg can go through what you did

just for me, well, maybe I'm not as
worthless as I thought.

Good girl, Carrie. What's the second
lesson?

No more crazy stunts like this ever.

I think you'll have some explaining to
do to the Coast Guard.

False distress signal is a very serious
matter.

I know.

It was a dumb thing to do.

Well, anyway, you're safe and the boat's
safe. And let me tell you, I'm glad

about that because I put a lot of work
into that boat.

You?

You put into it?

Well, what about me and Andrea?

Speaking of Andrea, she missed all the
excitement again.

You know, Isis, I'm beginning to think
that Andrea's afraid of you.

I mean, you are pretty rough competition
for a woman.

Really?

What would you think of Captain Marvel
as competition for a man?

Cindy and Jerry, why don't I give you a
ride home?