Original subtitles

Josh: OK. DRAKE'S A PRETTY AWESOME GUY.

Drake: SOMETIMES JOSH IS RIDICULOUS.

Josh: BUT HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND.

THE IMPORTANCE OF SETTING LIMITS.

Drake: CASE IN POINT...

Josh: TAKE LAST HALLOWEEN...

Drake: LAST HALLOWEEN, ME AND.

JOSH WENT TO THIS HUGE PARTY AT

THE SAN DIEGO MEGADOME...

Josh: DRAKE AND I WERE AT THIS.

PARTY, RIGHT...

Drake: SO I FOUND A GARBAGE BAG.

AND LOADED IT UP WITH, LIKE,

20 POUNDS OF CANDY.

Josh: AND DRAKE COMES HOME WITH.

THIS GINORMOUS SACK OF CANDY.

Drake: SO JOSH GOES ON HIS.

COMPUTER AND PRINTS OUT A

SCHEDULE OF WHEN I SHOULD EAT IT.

Josh: SO I CREATED A COMPU.

CALENDAR TO HELP DRAKE PLAN HIS

CANDY CONSUMPTION.

Drake: YEAH. I WAS SUPPOSED TO.

EAT, LIKE, 2 PIECES OF CANDY

PER DAY FOR THE NEXT YEAR.

Josh: THEN HE LOCKED ME IN THE.

CLOSET AND ATE THE ENTIRE BAG OF

CANDY IN, LIKE, A HALF HOUR.

Drake: THEN I LOCKED JOSH IN A.

CLOSET AND ATE THE ENTIRE SACK OF CANDY.

Josh: AND THEN HE THREW UP.

Drake: I PUKED.

Josh: AND AFTER THAT, HE FALLS ASLEEP.

Drake: THEN I FELL ASLEEP,

SO JOSH SLEPT IN THE CLOSET THAT NIGHT.

Josh: KID'S GOTTA KNOW HIS LIMITATIONS.

Drake: IT'S FUN LOCKING JOSH IN CLOSETS.

Megan: WHAT?

Drake: ♪ WE'RE GONNA BE THE BOSS OF YOU ♪

Josh: ♪ AND YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT WE SAY ♪

Drake: ♪ HA HA ♪

Josh: ♪ HA-HA HA HA ♪

Megan: OK. YOU CAN'T SING.

YOU'RE A MORON. AND WHAT ARE YOU

TALKING ABOUT ANYWAY?

Drake: WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE.

FACT THAT MOM AND DAD ARE GONNA

BE OUT OF TOWN ALL WEEKEND.

Josh: WHICH MEANS WE ARE IN.

CHARGE OF THE HOUSE...

Drake: THE REFRIGERATOR...

Josh: THE TV SET... Drake: AND THE YOU.

Megan: OH, YOU GUYS REALLY THINK.

YOU'RE GONNA BE IN CHARGE?

Josh: YEAH, WE ARE.

Drake: IN FACT, I'VE JUST.

DECIDED TO CHANGE THE CHANNEL.

[CHANGES CHANNEL]

Megan: I WAS WATCHING SOMETHING.

Josh: UM... WERE.

Drake: YEAH, GOOD ONE.

Megan: GIVE ME THE REMOTE.

Drake: I DON'T THINK SO, MEGAN.

IN FACT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST RUN

UP TO YOUR... HEY!

Josh: WHAT THE?! MEGAN, YOU.

CAN'T JUST FLIP... OH, YAH... UHH!

[CHANGES CHANNEL]

Audrey: OK, BOYS, WE'RE ABOUT TO HEAD OUT.

Walter: YEAH, WE DON'T WANT TO.

GET CAUGHT IN TRAFFIC ON THE WAY TO...

Audrey: OK. WHY ARE YOU GUYS ON THE FLOOR?

Josh: IT'S A LONG, PAINFUL STORY.

Audrey: ALL RIGHT. JOSH,

NOW HERE IS ALL THE INFORMATION

ABOUT THE HOTEL WE'LL BE STAYING AT.

Walter: SO, COME ON. LET'S GO. I DON'T WANT TO BE LATE.

Audrey: OK. UM, OH, AND, BOYS,

HERE'S $200. NOW THAT IS FOR

FOOD AND EMERGENCIES ONLY.

Josh: GOT IT.

Walter: AND REMEMBER, L.A.'s.

ONLY 2 HOURS AWAY... Josh: GO.

Drake: GO. HAVE A GOOD TIME.

Josh: BYE.

Drake: OK, MEGAN.

Josh: YOU HAVE TO DO ALL YOUR HOMEWORK...

Megan: LISTEN TO ME.

YOU GET ON ONE OF MY NERVES THIS

WEEKEND, AND YOU'LL BOTH WAKE UP

TOMORROW MORNING VERY CONFUSED IN CUBA.

Drake: MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T BOTHER HER.

Josh: WORD.

Drake: OH, HEY, YOU HEAR THAT, JOSH?

Josh: WHAT?

Drake: IT'S SAYING, "SPEND ME,

JOSH. WON'T YOU SPEND ME?"

Josh: MONEY IS NOT A PUPPET.

Drake: COME ON. Josh: NO. ALL RIGHT, YOU HEARD.

MOM AND DAD. THIS MONEY IS FOR

FOOD AND EMERGENCIES ONLY.

Drake: YEAH, YEAH.

Josh: WHAT?

Drake: MAN, HOW MUCH FUN IS IT.

SPENDING 200 BUCKS?

Josh: DRAKE, WE HAVE NO MONEY.

LEFT? HOW ARE WE GONNA BUY FOOD FOR MEGAN?

Drake: [FRENCH ACCENT] DINNER IS SERVED.

Drake: ♪ I NEVER THOUGHT

THAT IT'D BE SO SIMPLE, BUT I FOUND A WAY,

I FOUND A WAY, AND...

IF YOU OPEN UP YOUR MIND ♪

Chorus: ♪ SEE WHAT'S INSIDE ♪

Drake: ♪ IT'S GONNA TAKE SOME

TIME TO REALIZE, BUT IF YOU LOOK INSIDE,

I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND,

OVER YOUR SHOULDER, YOU'LL KNOW

THAT I TOLD YOU I'll ALWAYS BE.

PICKING YOU UP WHEN YOU'RE DOWN,

SO JUST TURN AROUND... ♪

OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

Man, on cell phone: SIR... SIR, PLEASE?

I KNOW WE DON'T HAVE A

RESERVATION, BUT EVERY HOTEL IN

TOWN IS FULL. OH, OK. I SEE.

NO, DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT IT.

WE WILL BE FINE... SLEEPING IN THE STREET!

Drake: YOU HEAR THAT?

THEY NEED A PLACE TO STAY.

WE CAN RENT THEM A ROOM AT THE

HOUSE WHILE MOM AND DAD ARE AWAY.

Josh: HEY, THAT IS SO, SO STUPID.

Drake: COME ON, MAN. IT'S GONNA.

BE SPRING BREAK ALL WEEKEND.

Josh: SO?

Drake: SO EVERY HOTEL IN.

SAN DIEGO IS GONNA BE BOOKED.

I BET THEY GIVE US, LIKE, 200 BUCKS.

Josh: LOOK, WE HAD 200 BUCKS,

ALL RIGHT, WHICH YOU PROMPTLY

THREW AWAY ON BUBBLE GUM,

A WRISTWATCH, A TELESCOPE,

AND A MEXICAN ROBOT.

Drake: COME ON. THIS IS COOL.

[ROBOT MAKES SOUND]

Josh: OK, THAT IS PRETTY COOL.

[ROBOT MAKES SOUND]

Drake: ANYWAY, WE NEED MONEY.

WHICH THEY WILL PAY US.

Josh: THEY WANNA STAY AT A.

HOTEL, ALL RIGHT? NOT SOMEONE'S HOUSE.

Drake: SO THEN WE'LL TELL THEM.

OUR HOUSE IS ONE OF THOSE FANCY

HOTELS. YOU KNOW, WHAT DO YOU

CALL THEM? BED AND BREAKFAST.

Josh: NO.

[ROBOT MAKES SOUNDS]

Josh: NO.

[ROBOT MAKES SOUNDS]

Josh: NO!

[ROBOT MAKES SOUNDS]

Josh: ALL RIGHT.

Drake: TERRY, GAIL, RIGHT THIS WAY.

Gail: OH, THIS IS LOVELY.

Drake: THANK YOU. IT'S JUST A.

LITTLE PLACE I LIKE TO CALL

THE DRAKE AND JOSH INN.

Terry: GREAT.

Terry: SO WHERE DO WE, UH, CHECK IN?

Drake: OH, UH... HERE. HERE, UH, JUST...

GO AHEAD AND WRITE DOWN YOUR

NAMES AND... OTHER HOTEL STUFF,

AND JOSH WILL TAKE YOUR BAGS UPSTAIRS.

Josh: DRAKE.

Drake: WE'LL TAKE YOUR BAGS UPSTAIRS.

Terry: HOW GREAT IS IT THAT WE.

FOUND THIS PLACE?

Gail: I KNOW. IT'S SO NICE.

THEY REALLY MADE IT FEEL LIKE

IT'S SOMEONE'S ACTUAL HOME.

Terry: HELLO.

Megan: HI.

Gail: HOW ARE YOU?

Megan: GOOD.

Terry: UH, HAVE YOU BEEN STAYING HERE LONG?

Megan: KINDA.

Gail: HOW'S THE FOOD?

Megan: DRAKE! JOSH!

Drake: OH, HEY! CAN WE TALK TO.

YOU IN THE KITCHEN FOR A SECOND?

Megan: NO. Josh: JUST FOR A SECOND.

Megan: NO.

PUT ME DOWN!

Josh: HEY!

Megan: YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE.

BEING LIFTED! AND WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE?

Drake: THEY NEEDED A HOTEL.

Megan: AND?

Josh: WE SORT OF TOLD THEM THIS.

WAS A HOTEL.

Megan: OK, I'M CALLING MOM AND DAD.

Drake: STOP HER!

Josh: NOW, YOU MAY HAVE THE.

PHONE BACK AFTER WE TALK TO YOU.

Megan: I WOULDN'T WANT THAT.

PHONE BACK IF I WERE DYING ON

THE KITCHEN FLOOR.

Drake: WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

DO NOT CALL MOM AND DAD.

Megan: I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU.

TURN OUR HOUSE INTO A HOTEL.

UNLESS... Drake: WHAT DO YOU WANT, MONEY?

Megan: NO. I DON'T NEED YOUR MONEY.

Drake: ALL RIGHT. THEN WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE FOR YOU TO KEEP QUIET.

ABOUT THIS? Megan: YOU WANNA PRETEND THIS.

HOUSE IS A HOTEL? FINE. THEN I

WANNA BE TREATED LIKE A GUEST.

Josh: HUH?

Drake: WHAT?

Megan: YOU KNOW, MAKE MY BED,

BRING ME FOOD, AND ANYTHING ELSE I WANT.

Josh: NO. NO WAY. NO... Drake: DEAL.

Josh: DEAL?

Megan: DEAL?

Josh: OK.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Megan: I AIN'T GETTING THAT.

Drake: ME, NEITHER.

[RING]

Josh: HELLO?

Terry: THANKS.

Josh: SURE.

Terry: MMM. THIS COFFEE IS SO.

FRESH. HOW GREAT IS THIS PLACE?

Gail: SO GREAT. DO YOU KNOW THIS.

IS THE NICEST BED AND BREAKFAST

WE'VE EVER STAYED AT?

Josh: JUST LET ME KNOW IF.

THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN DO TO

MAKE YOUR STAY HERE MORE PLEASURABLE.

Gail: CAN I GET SOME HONEY FOR MY TEA?

Josh: [SOUTHERN ACCENT] OH, SURE.

THING, HONEY.

MA'AM.

Drake: HEY, JOSH. Josh: [REGULAR VOICE] HEY.

Drake: HOW GOES THE HOTEL BIZ?

Josh: PRETTY GOOD. WE'RE MAKING

200 BUCKS A NIGHT OFF THESE

GUYS, AND I KINDA LIKE RUNNING A HOTEL.

Drake: I'M SO PSYCHED TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT, 'CAUSE I'VE BEEN.

DOWN AT THE BEACH ALL MORNING.

Josh: DOING WHAT? Drake: TALKING TO A BUNCH OF.

COLLEGE KIDS WHO ARE HERE FOR

SPRING BREAK WITH NO PLACE TO STAY.

Josh: SO?

Drake: RIGHT IN HERE, GUYS.

Josh: WHA... WHA...

THE GIRL... HOW ARE YOU, GIRL ON

A COOLER? WHAT... BOOGIE BOARD?

WHAT... WHAT THE... DOG?

WHOA. WHAT THE...

DRAKE, YOU CAN'T LET THESE

PEOPLE STAY HERE.

Drake: OH, REALLY? 'CAUSE ABOUT.

HALF OF THEM PAID IN ADVANCE.

Josh: SPRING BREAKERS! WELCOME.

TO THE DRAKE AND JOSH INN!

WHOO!

All: WHOO!

Josh: YOU GUYS HAVING FUN?

I KNOW I AM.

THERE ARE MORE?

OH. HI.

UM... BEACH BALLS... UM, HI.

[PEOPLE TALKING]

Josh: OH, COME ON, GUYS. NO.

THROWING STUFF IN THE HOTEL.

HEY! HEY, WE HAVE A STRICT "NO PET" POLICY.

[RUFF]

EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Drake: ALL RIGHT. THAT'S IT.

SO WHO ELSE WANTS SOME SUNTAN LOTION, HUH?

[CHUCKLES] AND WE JUST RAN OUT.

Josh: DRAKE, THIS IS OUT OF.

CONTROL, ALL RIGHT? YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING.

[LIMBO MUSIC PLAYING]

Drake: OH! CAN'T TALK. GOTTA LIMBO.

Terry: SIR?

Josh: YEAH, WHAT?

Terry: YOU REALLY NEED TO CLEAN.

THE POOL. IT'S GETTING PRETTY DIRTY.

Josh: WHAT POOL?

Gail: THE ONE UPSTAIRS.

Josh: POOL?!

Josh: UHH!

COME ON, YOU GUYS! NO ONE'S

SUPPOSED TO BE IN OUR ROOM.

HEY, WHO PUT THIS POOL IN HERE?

Boy: BELLY FLOP!

[ALL CHEERING]

Josh: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT.

DOING A BELLY FLOP!

All: GO! GO! GO!

Boy: HEY!

[CHEERING]

YEAH!

Man: THAT WAS AWESOME.

Josh: EXCUSE ME!

DRAKE!

DRAKE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Drake: OH, HEY. THIS IS NIKKI.

Nikki: HEY, I'M NIKKI.

Drake: YEAH, SHE'S IN BEAUTY SCHOOL, SO I'M LETTING HER GIVE.

ME A HAIRCUT.

Nikki: I BROUGHT MY SCISSIES.

Josh: WOW. THAT'S... THAT'S REALLY COOL.

Nikki: I KNOW.

Josh: NOW GO AWAY!

Drake: WHOA. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

Josh: LOOK, I WANT ALL OF THESE.

PEOPLE OUT OF HERE NOW!

Drake: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

THEY'RE PAYING US A FORTUNE,

AND I'M HAVING FUN.

Man: HEY, MAN, IS THIS YOUR GUITAR?

Drake: [GASPS]

OK. I WANT ALL OF THESE PEOPLE

OUT OF HERE NOW!

Josh: ALL RIGHT. LET'S DO THIS.

MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! OUT OF THE

WAY. OUT OF THE WAY.

[UNPLUGS STEREO, MUSIC STOPS]

All: HEY! HEY!

Josh: [FAKES CRYING] SORRY,

EVERYBODY, ALL RIGHT?!

BUT THE DRAKE AND JOSH INN IS

NOW OFFICIALLY CLOSED.

[ALL GROAN]

YEAH, SORRY. SO IF EVERYONE WILL

PLEASE... OW!

Drake: WAIT! HEY! WHAT ARE YOU...

[MUSIC STARTS]

JOSH! HERE, GET UP.

Josh: UHH!

Drake: HERE.

MAN, HOW ARE WE GONNA GET ALL

THESE PEOPLE OUT OF HERE?

Josh: THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON.

TOUGH ENOUGH TO HANDLE 75 COLLEGE KIDS.

Drake: OK, YOU GO GET HELP,

AND I'M GONNA STAY HERE AND MAKE SURE...

Josh: HELEN? HELEN!

Helen: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO WORK TODAY.

Josh: LOOK, I NEED YOUR HELP, ALL RIGHT?

Helen: YOU WANNA BORROW MY OINTMENT?

Josh: NO. LOOK, I HAVE 75 PEOPLE.

AT MY HOUSE.

Helen: HOW MUCH OINTMENT DO YOU.

THINK I HAVE?

Josh: NO. LOOK, ALL RIGHT...

THERE WAS A PARTY, AND... AND IT

SORT OF GOT OUT OF CONTROL,

AND NOW THEY WON'T LEAVE,

AND I WAS HOPING MAYBE YOU COULD

COME OVER AND... AND SCARE THEM AWAY.

Helen: OK, LOOK, JOSH, I AM YOUR.

EMPLOYER, AND I DON'T FEEL IT'S

MY RESPONSIBILITY TO HELP YOU

OUT OF YOUR PERSONAL PREDICAMENTS.

Josh: PLEASE... Helen: I AM SORRY, JOSH.

Josh: YOU'RE... YOU'RE RIGHT.

Helen: MM-HMM.

Josh: I... I BETTER GET HOME.

BEFORE ALL THOSE INSANE PEOPLE

EAT DRAKE ALIVE. Helen: DRAKE'S IN TROUBLE?!

WHOA! COMING, DRAKE!

MOVE IT NOW!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Drake: GET OFF OF...

Megan: DRAKE! I NEED ANOTHER SET.

OF CLEAN SHEETS SENT UP TO MY ROOM.

Drake: WHAT? WE JUST SENT CLEAN.

SHEETS UP THERE, LIKE, 2 HOURS

AGO. WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE?

Man: I'M SHEET MAN!

♪ DA DA-DA DA ♪

Megan: I WANT THESE PEOPLE OUT OF HERE!

Drake: SO DO WE!

Helen: DRAKE?! DRAKE?!

WHERE IS HE?

Josh: THERE HE IS!

Helen: PUT HIM... YOU BETTER PUT.

THAT BOY DOWN!

Josh: DRAKE, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

Drake: UHH. YEAH.

Helen: OH! DON'T WORRY, HONEY.

HELEN'S HERE. I'M GONNA MAKE ALL

THESE BAD PEOPLE GO AWAY.

Drake: OH, THANK YOU, HELEN.

Man: OH, YEAH. WHAT'S UP, Y'ALL?

I'M J.D. WARFIELD, AND THIS IS

MTV SPRING BREAK COMING AT YA

FROM BEAUTIFUL SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA.

[CHEERING]

Helen: MTV? WELL, I DO LOVE THE.

MUSIC TELEVISION.

Josh: ARE THESE GUYS REALLY FROM MTV?

Drake: YEAH, THEY SHOWED UP A.

HALF HOUR AGO.

Helen: ♪ I WANT TO LOVE YOU, FEEL YOU,

WRAP MYSELF AROUND YOU,

I WANT TO SQUEEZE YOU, PLEASE YOU,

I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH,

AND IF YOU MOVE REAL SLOW, I'll LET IT GO ♪

HELP ME OUT NOW.

Drake: OK, WHY DID YOU BRING HELEN?

Josh: I THOUGHT SHE'D MAKE ALL.

THESE PEOPLE LEAVE.

Drake: WELL, THAT'S NOT EXACTLY.

WORKING, IS IT?

Helen: ♪ I'M SO EXCITED ♪

All: WHOO!

Helen: ♪ AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT ♪

All: WHOO!

Helen: ♪ I KNOW I'M ABOUT TO LOSE CONTROL,

AND I THINK HE LIKES IT ♪

All: WHOO!

Josh: THIS CANNOT GET ANY WORSE.

Drake: HEY! WHAT...

Josh: THAT'S NOT NATURAL!

Walter: ♪ I'M SO EXCITED,

AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT,

I'M ABOUT TO LOSE CONTROL,

I THINK I LIKE IT, I'M SO EXCITED ♪

Audrey: WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING?

Walter: OH, I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S, UH, IT'S MTV. IT'S A BIG

SPRING BREAK THING, I THINK.

Audrey: LOOK AT ALL THOSE INSANE KIDS. HA.

WALTER.

Walter: HUH?

Audrey: DOES THAT...

DOES THAT LOOK LIKE OUR LIVING ROOM?

Walter: WHAT?

WELL, I GUESS IT DOES,

A LITTLE, BUT THERE'S NO WAY

THAT COULD BE OUR HOUSE. I MEAN,

HA, COME ON.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Josh: DO NOT EAT THAT CUSHION!

OH!

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

WHOA!

GET IN HERE!

Drake: WHAT?! WHAT?!

Josh: LOOK AT THE CALLER I.D.

Drake: LOS ANGELES! MOM AND DAD?

Josh: EITHER THEM OR LINDSAY LOHAN!

Drake: WELL, JUST ANSWER IT.

Josh: YOU GOTTA MAKE THESE.

FREAKS BE QUIET FIRST.

[BLOWS AIR HORN]

Drake: OK, NOW, PLEASE, IF.

EVERYONE COULD JUST BE QUIET

FOR 60 SECONDS, AND THEN YOU

GUYS CAN MAKE ALL THE NOISE YOU WANT, OK?

Josh: HELLO? HAPPY SATURDAY.

Audrey: JOSH? IS ANYTHING GOING ON THERE?

Josh: UM, NO. HA HA. NOTHING TO SPEAK OF.

Audrey: WELL, WE'RE WATCHING TV,

AND WE COULD SWEAR WE'RE LOOKING

AT A WILD PARTY GOING ON IN OUR

LIVING ROOM.

Josh: IT'S FOR YOU!

Drake: MOM? WHAT'S DOING?

Walter: ALL RIGHT. DRAKE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON,

BUT WE'RE COMING HOME.

Drake: NO! NO! UH... [HANGS UP PHONE]

YOU CAN'T! IT'S... AARGH!

Josh: SO HOW'S L.A.?

Drake: THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY HOME.

Josh: OH! Drake: MAN, IF WE DON'T GET ALL.

THESE PEOPLE OUT OF HERE IN LESS

THAN 2 HOURS, OUR LIVES ARE OVER.

Josh: WELL, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

Drake and Josh: MEGAN!

Drake: OK, WHAT DO WE DO?

Megan: JUST PUSH THAT THING...

Josh: I'M PUSHIN' IT!

Megan: NOW OPEN UP THE AIR.

CONDITIONING VENT.

Drake: OK, NOW WHAT?

Megan: NOW HELP ME PUT THIS HOSE.

UP INTO THE VENT.

Josh: COME ON. COME ON. COME ON.

HERE. GO, GO, GO.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[BLOWS AIR HORN]

[MUSIC STOPS] Nikki: HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

Man: YEAH, CRANK THE TUNES BACK UP.

Drake: SHH. EVERYONE, QUIET, PLEASE.

Josh: OK, WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY.

Drake: UH, YES. IT SEEMS WE HAVE.

A SERIOUS GAS LEAK HERE IN THE

DRAKE AND JOSH INN.

Man: OH, UH, SORRY. I THINK THAT WAS ME.

Josh: NO! ALL RIGHT. THERE IS A.

SERIOUS LEAK OF... HYDRO...

MON-MONOXOPUFF GAS.

Drake: YEAH. IT MAKES YOUR EYES BLEED.

Josh: SO EVERYONE WILL PLEASE.

LEAVE THE BUILDING IMMEDIATELY.

Second man: I DON'T BELIEVE 'EM.

Nikki: YEAH. COME ON, LET'S PARTY.

All: YEAH!

Drake: NOW!

Megan: COPY.

[MACHINE TURNS ON]

Josh: OH, NO! LOOK!

Drake: IT'S THE MONOXOPUFF GAS.

Helen: COVER YOUR EYES, PEOPLE.

COVER YOUR EYES.

[ALL TALKING]

Josh: GET OUT! GET OUT!

Helen: YOU BETTER GET OUT OF HERE! GO ON!

Josh: NOW LOCK IT!

NOW HUG ME, BROTHER!

Drake: OH! THEY'RE HOME!

Josh: COME ON. QUICK. QUICK.

1, 2, 3... 4.

Drake: OH, YOU LOSE A TURN, JOSH.

Josh: RATS!

Walter: AHEM.

Megan: OH. LOOK WHO'S BACK.

Drake: HEY.

Audrey: YEAH... WE'RE BACK.

Drake: SO HOW COME YOU GUYS CAME.

HOME SO EARLY?

Walter: WE WERE WATCHING TV, AND WE SAW...

Audrey: A WHOLE BUNCH OF CRAZY.

COLLEGE KIDS PARTYING LIKE MANIACS.

Walter: AND A DOG AND A BIG.

HAIRY GUY WITH A ROOT BEER BOTTLE...

Audrey: AND A WOMAN WAS SINGING R&B TUNES.

Walter: SHE HAD A LAZY EYE.

Audrey: AND WE COULD HAVE SWORN.

IT LOOKED JUST LIKE OUR HOUSE.

Drake: YEAH, OK.

Josh: COME ON. WE WOULDN'T HAVE.

A PARTY WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION.

Walter: WELL...

I'M SORRY WE DIDN'T TRUST YOU.

Audrey: WE WON'T DOUBT YOU AGAIN.

Walter: HEY, TO MAKE IT UP TO.

YOU, WHY DON'T WE ALL GO OUT

FOR SOME PIZZA? Drake: OH, GREAT.

Megan: AWESOME.

Josh: UH, BUT, UH... FIRST, UH...

THE 3 OF US HAVE TO GO DO

SOMETHING UPSTAIRS.

Drake: WHAT DO WE HAVE TO...

Megan: [LAUGHS] BE RIGHT BACK.

Walter: I WONDER WHAT THAT WAS ALL ABOUT.

Audrey: TEENS ARE CRAZY.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

I WONDER WHO THAT IS.

[KNOCK]

Walter: YES, OFFICERS, CAN WE HELP YOU?

Officer: YES. SIR, DO YOU KNOW.

IT'S AGAINST THE LAW TO HOST A

TELEVISED EVENT FROM A PRIVATE

RESIDENCE WITHOUT A CITY-AUTHORIZED PERMIT?

Walter: HUH?

Audrey: WE DIDN'T HOST A TELEVISED EVENT.

Officer: WE HAVE EVIDENCE THAT SAYS YOU DID.

Walter: BUT, OFFICERS...

Officer: COME WITH US, PLEASE.

Walter: HOLD ON... BUT YOU SEE...

I'M A WEATHERMAN.

Drake: OK.

Josh: WE'RE READY.

Megan: HELLO?

Josh: AND I CANNOT BELIEVE I LET.

YOU TALK ME INTO SPENDING OUR

MONEY THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR FOOD.

Drake: I BOUGHT GUM. GUM IS FOOD.

Josh: ARRGGH!

[GUM SPLATTERS ON FLOOR]

Helen: JOSH!

Josh: WHAT?!

Helen: WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING?

Josh: IT'S MY DAY OFF.

Helen: OH, AND SO YOU THINK.

THAT'S AN EXCUSE NOT TO BE WORKING?

Drake: HEY, HELEN. Helen: WHAT IS IT?!

Drake: AAH!

[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

[ CAPTIONING INSTITUTE. www.ncicap.org... ]