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[GUITAR PLAYING]
2
00:00:06,655 --> 00:00:08,000
MY NAME'S DRAKE PARKER.
3
00:00:08,103 --> 00:00:09,689
I'M JOSH NICHOLS.
4
00:00:09,827 --> 00:00:11,551
I SHOULD PROBABLY BE
DOING MY HOMEWORK.
5
00:00:11,689 --> 00:00:13,448
I'M JUST DOING A
LITTLE HOMEWORK HERE.
6
00:00:13,551 --> 00:00:14,931
BUT IT'S MORE FUN TO DO THIS.
7
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[JAMMING]
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MAN, I'M THIRSTY.
9
00:00:24,344 --> 00:00:27,068
AH!
10
00:00:27,241 --> 00:00:28,965
I LIVE HERE WITH MY MOM
11
00:00:29,034 --> 00:00:30,379
AND MY LITTLE SISTER MEGAN.
12
00:00:30,482 --> 00:00:31,793
I GOT A GREAT FAMILY
13
00:00:31,931 --> 00:00:33,379
EVEN THOUGH IT'S
JUST ME AND MY DAD.
14
00:00:33,482 --> 00:00:34,931
I LOVE THAT GUY.
15
00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:37,000
I LOVE GIRLS.
16
00:00:38,551 --> 00:00:40,655
SO, MY MOM'S BEEN
DATING THIS GUY.
17
00:00:40,793 --> 00:00:42,793
SO, MY DAD'S BEEN
DATING THIS WOMAN.
18
00:00:42,965 --> 00:00:44,241
SHE'S REALLY GREAT.
19
00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:46,724
HE'S OK, BUT HE'S GOT THIS KID
20
00:00:46,862 --> 00:00:48,137
THAT GOES TO MY SCHOOL...
21
00:00:48,241 --> 00:00:50,379
SHE HAS A SON THAT
GOES TO MY SCHOOL...
22
00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:51,862
DRAKE. JOSH.
23
00:00:51,965 --> 00:00:53,827
IT'S NOT THAT I HAVE
ANYTHING AGAINST JOSH.
24
00:00:53,931 --> 00:00:56,241
I REALLY DON'T KNOW
DRAKE ALL THAT WELL.
25
00:00:56,344 --> 00:00:59,517
BUT HE SEEMS KIND OF... OK.
26
00:00:59,655 --> 00:01:01,448
UNUSUAL.
27
00:01:13,586 --> 00:01:15,827
UGH.
28
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[BLOWS WHISTLE]
29
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AAH!
30
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DRAKE!
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HEY, MOM... MR. NICHOLS.
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WHAT HAPPENED? I
HEARD SCREAMING.
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IT'S ALL RIGHT, SON.
34
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THERE'S NOTHING TO MOP HERE.
35
00:01:32,862 --> 00:01:35,448
JOSH, WHAT... WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?
36
00:01:35,551 --> 00:01:36,671
WHAT... WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?
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TELL HIM.
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WAIT. DRAKE, QUICK,
GET YOUR SISTER.
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MEGAN!
40
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UGH. ARE THEY DONE
SUCKING FACE YET?
41
00:01:46,827 --> 00:01:50,206
KIDS, JOSH'S DAD AND I
42
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HAVE BEEN GOING OUT
FOR A LONG TIME NOW,
43
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AND WE HAVE SOME NEWS.
44
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YOU GOT ME A DIRT BIKE?
45
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NO.
46
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WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!
47
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OH! OH!
48
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YOU'RE GETTING
MAR... MAR... MAR...
49
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YEAH. WE'RE GONNA BE
ONE BIG, OLD, HAPPY FAMILY!
50
00:02:13,068 --> 00:02:14,448
WAIT. WAIT.
51
00:02:14,586 --> 00:02:17,068
YOU MEAN, HE'S GONNA BE... BE
52
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MY... MY STEPFATHER?
53
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[LAUGHING]
54
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AND YOU!
55
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YOU'RE GONNA BE
MY... HE'S GONNA BE MY...
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HUG ME, BROTHER!
57
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[SCREAMING]
58
00:02:36,965 --> 00:02:39,827
♪ I NEVER THOUGHT
THAT IT'D BE SO SIMPLE ♪
59
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:45,000
♪ BUT I FOUND A
WAY, I FOUND A WAY ♪
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00:02:45,137 --> 00:02:49,655
♪ IF YOU OPEN UP YOUR MIND ♪
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♪ AND SEE WHAT'S INSIDE ♪
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♪ IT'S GONNA TAKE
SOME TIME TO REALIZE ♪
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♪ OOH, YEAH ♪
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00:02:59,896 --> 00:03:04,586
♪ BUT IF YOU LOOK INSIDE
I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND ♪
65
00:03:04,724 --> 00:03:06,931
♪ OOH, YEAH ♪
66
00:03:07,034 --> 00:03:10,517
♪ OVER YOUR SHOULDER
YOU KNOW THAT I TOLD YOU ♪
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00:03:10,655 --> 00:03:16,275
♪ I'll ALWAYS BE PICKING
YOU UP WHEN YOU'RE DOWN ♪
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00:03:16,448 --> 00:03:20,206
♪ SO JUST TURN AROUND ♪
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00:03:22,931 --> 00:03:25,482
♪ OH, OH, OH ♪
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[KNOCKING]
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DRAKE, JOSH IS DOWNSTAIRS.
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OH, REALLY?
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'CAUSE I WAS JUST
WRITING A SONG ABOUT HIM.
74
00:03:36,068 --> 00:03:38,827
IT'S CALLED, "I'M NOT
SHARING MY ROOM WITH JOSH."
75
00:03:41,275 --> 00:03:43,379
LOOK, I KNOW THIS IS
GONNA BE A BIG ADJUSTMENT,
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00:03:43,517 --> 00:03:44,957
BUT I NEED YOU TO
GIVE THIS A CHANCE.
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BUT, MOM, HE'S
GOOFY. HE'S CLAMMY.
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HIYA, DRAKE!
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HE'S HERE.
80
00:03:52,103 --> 00:03:54,551
I BROUGHT YOU SOME
LICORICE... THE RED KIND.
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00:03:54,655 --> 00:03:56,175
I KNOW SOME PEOPLE
LIKE THE BLACK KIND,
82
00:03:56,275 --> 00:03:59,000
BUT I THOUGHT
I'D PLAY IT SAFE...
83
00:03:59,137 --> 00:04:02,724
MOM, DON'T DO THIS TO ME.
84
00:04:02,827 --> 00:04:05,620
I SHOULD HAVE GOT
THE BLACK KIND, RIGHT?
85
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,206
HAVE A GOOD TIME, BOYS.
86
00:04:09,344 --> 00:04:10,586
WOW! COOL ROOM!
87
00:04:10,689 --> 00:04:12,517
OH, AND CHECK OUT THE BED!
88
00:04:12,655 --> 00:04:14,724
WAIT! WAIT! NO, NO, NO, NO.
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00:04:14,862 --> 00:04:16,241
WHOO!
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00:04:16,379 --> 00:04:17,758
OH.
91
00:04:17,896 --> 00:04:22,620
DUDE, THESE SHEET
MATCH MY JAMMIES!
92
00:04:22,758 --> 00:04:24,724
SO, WHERE ARE YOU GONNA SLEEP?
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00:04:24,862 --> 00:04:27,413
THERE! I SLEEP THERE!
94
00:04:27,586 --> 00:04:29,275
YOU SLEEP ON THE COUCH.
95
00:04:29,413 --> 00:04:31,068
THE COUCH? YEAH, I DON'T KNOW.
96
00:04:31,206 --> 00:04:33,448
I HAVE LUMBAR PROBLEMS.
97
00:04:35,827 --> 00:04:39,275
AND HOW MUCH JUNK DID YOU BRING?
98
00:04:39,448 --> 00:04:42,655
EW! WHO READS THE
SCHOOL NEWSPAPER?
99
00:04:42,793 --> 00:04:45,000
I DO. IT'S GOOD.
100
00:04:45,103 --> 00:04:46,172
IT'S STUPID.
101
00:04:46,310 --> 00:04:49,172
OOH, LOOK, A POEM
BY JANITOR JONES,
102
00:04:49,310 --> 00:04:52,827
"THE TOILET; DON'T SOIL IT."
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00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,000
THAT'S CLEVER.
104
00:04:55,103 --> 00:04:57,655
RIGHT. OH, AND HERE'S THE WORST:
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00:04:57,793 --> 00:04:59,448
"MISS NANCY'S ADVICE COLUMN."
106
00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:00,620
WHAT A LOAD.
107
00:05:00,689 --> 00:05:02,620
A LOAD OF GOOD.
108
00:05:02,724 --> 00:05:05,931
I THINK MISS NANCY
GIVES GREAT ADVICE.
109
00:05:06,068 --> 00:05:08,448
WHATEVER, MAN. I'M GONNA
GO PLAY SOME HOOPS.
110
00:05:08,586 --> 00:05:10,551
UH, DRAKE, WHEN
WILL YOU BE BACK?
111
00:05:10,689 --> 00:05:12,758
I DON'T KNOW. A FEW HOURS.
112
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:15,000
GOOD. I... I MEAN HAVE FUN
113
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WITH THE HOOPS AND WHATNOT.
114
00:05:22,413 --> 00:05:24,620
NOW IT'S MY TURN TO KISS YOU.
115
00:05:27,206 --> 00:05:29,896
NOW IT'S MY TURN TO KISS YOU.
116
00:05:31,068 --> 00:05:33,965
NOW IT'S MY TURN TO THROW UP.
117
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:38,448
DON'T YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO DO?
118
00:05:38,586 --> 00:05:40,034
YEAH, I'M GONNA
GO PLAY SOME BALL.
119
00:05:40,172 --> 00:05:42,010
WELL, DID YOU ASK YOUR
BROTHER IF HE WANTS TO PLAY?
120
00:05:42,034 --> 00:05:44,413
YOU KNOW, MOM, I
DON'T REALLY THINK JOSH
121
00:05:44,517 --> 00:05:46,000
IS THE BASKETBALL TYPE.
122
00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:47,172
SURE HE IS!
123
00:05:47,310 --> 00:05:48,689
YEAH, I TAUGHT HIM MYSELF.
124
00:05:48,827 --> 00:05:50,655
HERE, TOSS ME THE ROCK.
125
00:05:55,344 --> 00:05:57,482
[CLAPPING]
126
00:05:59,310 --> 00:06:01,172
THINK FAST!
127
00:06:05,034 --> 00:06:07,241
LAMPS DON'T THINK THAT FAST.
128
00:06:08,896 --> 00:06:10,551
JUST GO ASK JOSH TO PLAY.
129
00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:16,448
HEY, JOSH, YOU DON'T
WANT TO GO PLAY
130
00:06:16,551 --> 00:06:17,793
ANY BASKETB... AAH!
131
00:06:17,931 --> 00:06:20,103
[SCREAMING]
132
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OH, MY GOD!
133
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:22,482
I CAN EXPLAIN!
134
00:06:22,620 --> 00:06:23,448
OH, MY GOD!
135
00:06:23,620 --> 00:06:25,068
I CAN EXPLAIN!
136
00:06:25,172 --> 00:06:28,000
MOM! JOSH IS
DRESSED LIKE A FREAK!
137
00:06:28,103 --> 00:06:30,517
I CAN EXPLAIN!
138
00:06:33,551 --> 00:06:36,517
WHY ARE YOU DRESSED
LIKE QUEEN LATIFAH?
139
00:06:38,241 --> 00:06:42,103
BECAUSE I... I... OH,
I CAN'T TELL YOU.
140
00:06:42,241 --> 00:06:44,000
MOM! JOSH IS DRESSED LIKE...
141
00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:46,000
SHH! SHH! ALL
RIGHT, I'll TELL YOU,
142
00:06:46,068 --> 00:06:47,286
BUT YOU'VE GOTTA SWEAR
TO KEEP IT A SECRET.
143
00:06:47,310 --> 00:06:49,310
FINE. I SWEAR. NOW TALK.
144
00:06:49,482 --> 00:06:56,827
ALL RIGHT. I'M
A... I'M... MISS...
145
00:06:56,931 --> 00:06:59,827
[MUMBLES]
146
00:06:59,931 --> 00:07:01,586
WHAT?!
147
00:07:03,103 --> 00:07:04,620
I'M MISS NANCY.
148
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OK? I AM MISS NANCY.
149
00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:10,758
WAIT, FROM THE ADVICE COLUMN?
150
00:07:10,896 --> 00:07:12,241
FROM THE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER?
151
00:07:12,413 --> 00:07:14,379
YOU'RE MISS NANCY?
152
00:07:14,482 --> 00:07:15,482
YES.
153
00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:18,000
[LAUGHING]
154
00:07:20,448 --> 00:07:21,482
QUIT LAUGHING!
155
00:07:21,551 --> 00:07:23,931
BEING MISS NANCY'S
VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.
156
00:07:24,034 --> 00:07:25,413
I HELP PEOPLE WITH
THEIR PROBLEMS.
157
00:07:25,517 --> 00:07:27,965
YOU CAN'T HELP PEOPLE
WHILE WEARING PANTS?
158
00:07:29,724 --> 00:07:32,413
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I NEED THE DRESS.
159
00:07:32,551 --> 00:07:35,482
I... I CAN'T WRITE GOOD
ADVICE UNLESS I'M WEARING IT.
160
00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:37,103
YOU WANT SOME GOOD ADVICE?
161
00:07:37,275 --> 00:07:39,655
STOP DRESSING LIKE A LADY!
162
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,931
IF DRESSING LIKE A LADY
HELPS ME HELP OTHERS,
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THEN DRESS LIKE A LADY I SHALL!
164
00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:51,103
"DEAR MISS NANCY..."
165
00:07:51,275 --> 00:07:52,586
HEY, GIVE ME THAT!
166
00:07:52,724 --> 00:07:54,827
"MY BOYFRIEND
DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ME.
167
00:07:54,965 --> 00:07:56,000
"HE'S NEVER ROMANTIC.
168
00:07:56,137 --> 00:07:58,206
"I WISH HE WOULD
JUST BRING ME FLOWERS
169
00:07:58,344 --> 00:07:59,620
"OR WRITE ME POEMS
170
00:07:59,758 --> 00:08:01,000
OR COOK ME ROMANTIC DINNERS."
171
00:08:01,068 --> 00:08:03,344
THAT'S FOR MISS NANCY ONLY!
172
00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:04,827
WAIT A SECOND!
173
00:08:04,965 --> 00:08:08,137
PURPLE INK, DOTS HER
I's WITH LITTLE HEARTS.
174
00:08:08,275 --> 00:08:10,103
THIS LETTER IS FROM
TIFFANY MARGOLIS.
175
00:08:10,275 --> 00:08:11,137
[SNIFFS]
176
00:08:11,275 --> 00:08:12,862
MMM.
177
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,965
QUIT SNIFFIN' MY MAIL!
178
00:08:17,517 --> 00:08:19,172
DUDE, TIFFANY MARGOLIS
179
00:08:19,275 --> 00:08:21,000
IS, LIKE, THE HOTTEST
GIRL IN SCHOOL...
180
00:08:23,310 --> 00:08:27,103
AND... SHE'S NOT HAPPY
WITH HER BOYFRIEND.
181
00:08:27,275 --> 00:08:31,827
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!
182
00:08:31,965 --> 00:08:38,689
POOR TIFFANY. SO SAD,
SO LONELY... SO HOT!
183
00:08:38,827 --> 00:08:41,655
YEAH, I THINK I CAN HELP HER.
184
00:08:41,827 --> 00:08:44,689
NO! NO, I'M NOT GONNA
LET YOU USE MY LETTERS
185
00:08:44,827 --> 00:08:47,137
FOR YOUR OWN SELFISH DESIRES.
186
00:08:47,275 --> 00:08:49,344
FINE, THEN I'll JUST
TELL THE WHOLE WORLD.
187
00:08:49,482 --> 00:08:51,379
THAT MY NEW
STEPBROTHER, JOSH NICHOLS,
188
00:08:51,482 --> 00:08:53,310
IS THE REAL LIVE MISS NANCY.
189
00:08:53,448 --> 00:08:56,448
YOU'RE NOT THAT EVIL!
190
00:08:59,344 --> 00:09:01,344
PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, LISTEN UP.
191
00:09:01,482 --> 00:09:05,172
JOSH NICHOLS IS
MISS... AAH! AAH!
192
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,758
YOU CAN'T TELL
PEOPLE I'M MISS NANCY.
193
00:09:09,896 --> 00:09:11,137
YOU'LL RUIN EVERYTHING.
194
00:09:11,241 --> 00:09:14,724
FINE, THEN DON'T STOP ME
FROM HELPING TIFFANY. DEAL?
195
00:09:14,896 --> 00:09:16,275
ALL RIGHT.
196
00:09:16,413 --> 00:09:17,551
ALL RIGHT?
197
00:09:17,655 --> 00:09:19,275
ALL RIGHT.
198
00:09:19,379 --> 00:09:21,068
ARE THOSE REAL?
199
00:09:21,206 --> 00:09:23,310
STOP THAT!
200
00:09:25,758 --> 00:09:27,724
[BELL RINGING]
201
00:09:31,068 --> 00:09:33,965
BEAUTY. BEAUTY.
202
00:09:34,068 --> 00:09:36,000
RHYMES WITH SNOOTY.
203
00:09:36,103 --> 00:09:38,551
NO... FRUITY!
204
00:09:38,724 --> 00:09:39,724
NO...
205
00:09:41,586 --> 00:09:44,103
BEAUTY... WHAT ARE YOU WRITING?
206
00:09:44,206 --> 00:09:47,310
OH, NOTHING, JUST A... POEM.
207
00:09:47,413 --> 00:09:49,724
OH. YOU WRITE POETRY?
208
00:09:49,862 --> 00:09:53,275
I KNOW. IT'S DUMB.
209
00:09:53,413 --> 00:09:55,689
NO. NO. I DON'T... I DON'T THINK
210
00:09:55,793 --> 00:09:56,965
IT'S DUMB AT ALL.
211
00:09:57,068 --> 00:09:58,068
IS THIS FOR A CLASS?
212
00:09:58,172 --> 00:10:00,172
NO. IT'S FOR A PERSON.
213
00:10:00,310 --> 00:10:02,137
OH.
214
00:10:02,275 --> 00:10:04,172
WELL, IT WOULD BE FOR A PERSON
215
00:10:04,310 --> 00:10:07,241
IF I HAD A PERSON
FOR IT TO BE FOR.
216
00:10:07,344 --> 00:10:09,724
OH.
217
00:10:09,827 --> 00:10:11,241
YEAH, WELL, I SHOULD GO.
218
00:10:11,413 --> 00:10:13,620
I GOTTA GO DOWNLOAD A
RECIPE OFF THE INTERNET.
219
00:10:13,724 --> 00:10:17,034
A RECIPE? YOU COOK?
220
00:10:17,172 --> 00:10:19,413
WHEN I'M NOT PICKING
FLOWERS. LISTEN, UH...
221
00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:21,034
TIFFANY. DRAKE.
222
00:10:21,137 --> 00:10:23,310
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE
DOING ANYTHING FRIDAY NIGHT...
223
00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:24,758
I'M NOT.
224
00:10:24,862 --> 00:10:27,241
REALLY? MAYBE I COULD
COOK YOU SOME DINNER.
225
00:10:27,379 --> 00:10:29,965
THAT WOULD BE NICE.
226
00:10:30,068 --> 00:10:31,172
SO, IT'S A DATE.
227
00:10:31,344 --> 00:10:34,103
SO, IT IS.
228
00:10:34,241 --> 00:10:35,310
COOL.
229
00:10:35,413 --> 00:10:36,413
[BELL RINGING]
230
00:10:36,517 --> 00:10:38,344
SEE YOU.
231
00:10:40,482 --> 00:10:43,241
THAT WAS TOO EASY.
232
00:10:43,379 --> 00:10:47,965
EVIL!
233
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,586
Mr. Nichols: DRAKE, JOSH,
YOU'RE DINNER'S ON THE TABLE.
234
00:10:55,758 --> 00:10:56,758
Drake: OK.
235
00:10:56,896 --> 00:10:58,551
Josh: THANKS.
236
00:11:18,758 --> 00:11:19,758
NO WAY.
237
00:11:19,931 --> 00:11:22,413
LOOK, WHAT'S THE
WHOLE REASON YOU DO
238
00:11:22,551 --> 00:11:23,911
YOUR MISS NANCY
ADVICE COLUMN, HUH?
239
00:11:23,965 --> 00:11:26,000
TO HELP PEOPLE
WITH THEIR PROBLEMS
240
00:11:26,137 --> 00:11:28,034
AND/OR ISSUES.
241
00:11:28,172 --> 00:11:30,827
SO, IF I BUY TIFFANY
SOME FLOWERS,
242
00:11:30,965 --> 00:11:32,379
WRITE HER A COUPLE POEMS,
243
00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:34,172
AND COOK HER A
NICE, ROMANTIC DINNER,
244
00:11:34,275 --> 00:11:36,517
THAT WILL SOLVE HER
PROBLEM, WON'T IT?
245
00:11:36,689 --> 00:11:40,517
WAIT, YOU KNOW HOW TO COOK?
246
00:11:40,655 --> 00:11:43,344
NOPE... BUT I HEAR YOU DO.
247
00:11:43,517 --> 00:11:45,862
NO. NO! NO, SIR.
248
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,586
I'M NOT COOKING
DINNER FOR TIFFANY.
249
00:11:47,758 --> 00:11:49,275
I KNOW WHO MISS NANCY IS!
250
00:11:49,448 --> 00:11:50,931
I KNOW WHO MISS NANCY...
251
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,586
OK! ALL RIGHT! I'll
COOK THE DINNER.
252
00:11:52,724 --> 00:11:54,689
AH! YOU HAND LICKER!
253
00:11:56,620 --> 00:11:58,620
COME ON. LET'S EAT.
254
00:12:07,758 --> 00:12:09,793
[SCREAMING]
255
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,689
AH. AH.
256
00:12:18,068 --> 00:12:21,000
[SCREAMING]
257
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,000
THAT'S MINE! THAT'S MINE!
258
00:12:36,344 --> 00:12:38,034
[SHATTERING]
259
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,344
THE HOSE!
260
00:12:42,448 --> 00:12:43,448
WHAT HOSE?
261
00:12:43,620 --> 00:12:44,448
THE HOSE! WHAT HOSE?
262
00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:47,034
THE WINDOW!
263
00:13:11,103 --> 00:13:13,137
[KNOCKING]
264
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,862
DRAKE, THIS RAVIOLI IS AMAZING.
265
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:21,413
WHAT'S IT CALLED?
266
00:13:21,586 --> 00:13:24,310
OH, WELL, YOU
KNOW, IT'S... IT'S...
267
00:13:24,448 --> 00:13:28,344
RAVIOLI FRAMA... FRAMA LAMA.
268
00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:30,379
HMM. I NEVER HEARD OF IT.
269
00:13:30,517 --> 00:13:32,413
NEITHER HAVE I.
270
00:13:34,379 --> 00:13:35,448
OH, WHO'S THAT?
271
00:13:35,586 --> 00:13:36,586
JOSH!
272
00:13:36,620 --> 00:13:37,793
HI. HI.
273
00:13:37,931 --> 00:13:40,310
I KNOW YOU. YOU GO
TO OUR SCHOOL, RIGHT?
274
00:13:40,413 --> 00:13:43,172
YEAH. YEAH, I DO.
275
00:13:43,310 --> 00:13:45,827
ACTUALLY, WE'RE STEPBROTHERS,
276
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:49,965
AND JOSH ISN'T SUPPOSED
TO BE HERE RIGHT NOW.
277
00:13:50,103 --> 00:13:52,448
I CAN'T STAY IN THE
KITCHEN FOREVER.
278
00:13:52,586 --> 00:13:53,931
WHY NOT?
279
00:13:54,068 --> 00:13:56,344
I HAVE TO USE THE
LITTLE BOY'S ROOM.
280
00:13:56,482 --> 00:13:59,172
THERE'S A SINK IN THE KITCHEN.
281
00:13:59,310 --> 00:14:02,241
JOSH, DID YOU TRY SOME OF
THIS RAVIOLI THAT DRAKE MADE?
282
00:14:02,344 --> 00:14:03,586
IT'S INCREDIBLE.
283
00:14:03,758 --> 00:14:06,172
OH, IS IT?
284
00:14:06,310 --> 00:14:12,793
NOW, TELL ME, DRAKE...
HOW DO YOU MAKE IT?
285
00:14:15,137 --> 00:14:17,482
YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY
TIME FOR DESSERT.
286
00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:19,551
TIFFANY, I'll TAKE YOUR PLATE.
287
00:14:20,689 --> 00:14:23,000
YOU KNOW, YOUR STEPBROTHER
IS REALLY SOMETHING.
288
00:14:23,137 --> 00:14:24,965
YEAH, HE'S SOMETHING.
289
00:14:25,068 --> 00:14:27,620
I MEAN, HE'S... HE'S SO
SENSITIVE, YOU KNOW?
290
00:14:27,724 --> 00:14:30,448
THE FLOWERS, THE POETRY,
THIS AWESOME DINNER.
291
00:14:30,586 --> 00:14:32,965
I MEAN, MY BOYFRIEND NEVER
DOES ANY OF THIS STUFF.
292
00:14:33,068 --> 00:14:34,310
I KNOW.
293
00:14:34,448 --> 00:14:38,000
I... MEAN... I KNOW
WHAT YOU MEAN.
294
00:14:38,137 --> 00:14:39,344
[BANGING ON DOOR]
295
00:14:39,482 --> 00:14:40,482
WHO'S THAT?
296
00:14:40,517 --> 00:14:41,724
I DON'T KNOW.
297
00:14:41,862 --> 00:14:43,482
[BANGING]
298
00:14:43,655 --> 00:14:45,655
ALL RIGHT. ALL
RIGHT. I'M COMING.
299
00:14:48,862 --> 00:14:50,000
BUCK!
300
00:14:51,310 --> 00:14:53,241
SO, IT'S TRUE!
301
00:14:53,379 --> 00:14:55,896
WHAT? THAT I HAVE A CONCUSSION?
302
00:14:57,172 --> 00:14:59,551
I TURN MY BACK FOR 5 MINUTES
303
00:14:59,689 --> 00:15:01,413
AND YOU'RE OUT ON A DATE WITH...
304
00:15:01,517 --> 00:15:02,724
WITH THIS CLOWN?
305
00:15:02,896 --> 00:15:06,103
TROUBLE... BREATHING.
306
00:15:06,275 --> 00:15:09,172
LOOK, I CAN DATE WHOEVER I WANT.
307
00:15:09,310 --> 00:15:10,724
YEAH? WELL, YOU CAN'T DATE A GUY
308
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:12,034
WITH NO HEAD.
309
00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:13,275
[HIGH-PITCHED SQUEAL]
310
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,724
YOU'RE HAMBURGER MEAT.
311
00:15:14,862 --> 00:15:16,448
YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
312
00:15:16,586 --> 00:15:19,344
BUT I'M A VEGETARIAN.
313
00:15:19,482 --> 00:15:23,758
MONDAY, 3:00. YOU AND ME.
314
00:15:23,862 --> 00:15:26,172
HAVE AN AMBULANCE READY.
315
00:15:26,310 --> 00:15:28,137
UGH!
316
00:15:30,862 --> 00:15:33,172
THAT WAS SO ROMANTIC.
317
00:15:33,310 --> 00:15:35,655
AND DESSERT IS HERE.
318
00:15:35,827 --> 00:15:38,931
JOSH, I THOUGHT YOU HAD TO PEE.
319
00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:40,896
DONE.
320
00:15:54,655 --> 00:15:56,724
HOW COULD YOU GET ME
INTO A FIGHT WITH BUCK?
321
00:15:56,862 --> 00:15:58,310
OH, THIS IS MY FAULT?
322
00:15:58,413 --> 00:16:00,137
OH, LET ME THINK.
323
00:16:00,275 --> 00:16:02,862
YES!
324
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,172
YOU REALIZE HE'S
GONNA DESTROY ME!
325
00:16:05,310 --> 00:16:07,137
HE'S NOT GONNA DESTROY YOU.
326
00:16:07,275 --> 00:16:10,551
HE'S HUGE AND STUPID.
327
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:14,586
THAT'S A BAD COMBINATION.
328
00:16:14,689 --> 00:16:17,379
YOU'RE RIGHT. HE'S
GONNA KILL YOU.
329
00:16:18,379 --> 00:16:20,344
HEY, CAN I HAVE YOUR COMPUTER?
330
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,586
OH, I CAN'T FIGHT BUCK.
331
00:16:23,758 --> 00:16:26,724
HE'LL HURT ME IN SO MANY WAYS.
332
00:16:27,965 --> 00:16:29,344
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
333
00:16:30,586 --> 00:16:32,068
I GOT IT!
334
00:16:34,310 --> 00:16:36,310
[GRUNTING]
335
00:16:37,482 --> 00:16:39,517
HUYUH! HUYUH!
336
00:16:39,655 --> 00:16:42,344
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
337
00:16:43,758 --> 00:16:45,068
UH, HEY, DUDE?
338
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:46,379
YAAH!
339
00:16:49,103 --> 00:16:51,172
TAKE A BREAK.
340
00:16:53,034 --> 00:16:54,241
HOW CAN I HELP YOU?
341
00:16:54,310 --> 00:16:56,103
I NEED YOU TO MAKE ME
AN EXPERT IN KARATE...
342
00:16:56,241 --> 00:16:57,241
BY TOMORROW.
343
00:16:57,413 --> 00:16:59,448
[LAUGHING]
344
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,413
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
345
00:17:01,517 --> 00:17:02,965
TO LEARN KARATE,
346
00:17:03,068 --> 00:17:06,862
IT TAKES YEARS OF
INTENSE TRAINING.
347
00:17:06,965 --> 00:17:08,217
YEAH, BUT CAN'T
YOU JUST GIVE HIM
348
00:17:08,241 --> 00:17:09,103
THE ONE-DAY CRASH COURSE?
349
00:17:09,241 --> 00:17:10,655
NO!
350
00:17:10,827 --> 00:17:15,896
KARATE'S IN HERE, NOT IN HERE.
351
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,482
SOMETIMES IN HERE.
352
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:20,586
ONE TIME IN HERE,
353
00:17:20,689 --> 00:17:22,896
BUT THAT WAS AFTER I SWALLOWED
354
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,000
A BOX OF THUMBTACKS.
355
00:17:28,724 --> 00:17:32,137
WHAT? DO I HAVE
SOMETHING IN MY TEETH?
356
00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:36,862
NO! LOOK, I GOT 48 HOURS.
357
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,448
ARE YOU GONNA TEACH
ME KARATE OR NOT?
358
00:17:38,620 --> 00:17:40,103
I AM SORRY, BOYS.
359
00:17:40,241 --> 00:17:43,482
I CAN DO NOTHING FOR
YOU IN SO LITTLE TIME.
360
00:17:43,586 --> 00:17:46,241
WE'LL GIVE YOU 30 BUCKS CASH.
361
00:17:46,379 --> 00:17:48,689
LET THE TRAINING BEGIN!
362
00:17:48,793 --> 00:17:51,000
WUUH! AAH!
363
00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:53,344
[LENNY KRAVITZ'S
"DIG IN" PLAYING]
364
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,310
[GRUNTING]
365
00:18:04,758 --> 00:18:07,241
[SQUEALING]
366
00:18:07,379 --> 00:18:09,620
HUIYAH!
367
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:15,310
♪ THERE IS NO WHERE TO RUN ♪
368
00:18:16,827 --> 00:18:19,827
♪ THERE IS NO WHERE TO HIDE ♪
369
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,034
♪ DON'T LET IT BEAT YOU ♪
370
00:18:22,206 --> 00:18:26,103
♪ SAY "NICE TO MEET
YOU" AND "BYE" ♪
371
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:28,724
OW!
372
00:18:28,896 --> 00:18:30,827
♪ AND ONCE YOU DIG IN ♪
373
00:18:33,034 --> 00:18:37,137
♪ YOU'LL FIND IT COMING
OUT THE OTHER SIDE ♪
374
00:18:37,275 --> 00:18:39,310
♪ AND ONCE YOU DIG IN ♪
375
00:18:41,068 --> 00:18:45,241
♪ YOU'LL FIND YOU'LL HAVE
YOURSELF A GOOD TIME ♪
376
00:18:46,241 --> 00:18:47,103
LEFT!
377
00:18:47,241 --> 00:18:48,310
HA!
378
00:18:48,448 --> 00:18:49,310
RIGHT!
379
00:18:49,448 --> 00:18:51,827
HA!
380
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,000
[GROWLING]
381
00:18:59,068 --> 00:19:01,206
♪ YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
382
00:19:01,379 --> 00:19:03,827
[SQUEALING]
383
00:19:05,655 --> 00:19:08,758
♪ YOU'LL FIND IT COMING
OUT THE OTHER SIDE ♪
384
00:19:08,862 --> 00:19:11,896
YEAH!
385
00:19:13,827 --> 00:19:17,206
♪ YOU'LL FIND YOU'LL HAVE
YOURSELF A GOOD TIME ♪
386
00:19:17,379 --> 00:19:18,689
♪ AND ONCE YOU DIG IN... ♪
387
00:19:18,862 --> 00:19:21,448
[SCREAMING]
388
00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:23,000
YEAH! WHAT'S UP?
389
00:19:23,103 --> 00:19:25,103
WHO'S THE LITTLE GIRL NOW?
390
00:19:25,275 --> 00:19:27,206
I DID IT! THANKS, DRAKE!
391
00:19:27,310 --> 00:19:29,000
AH! NOT COMFORTABLE
WITH THE HUGGING.
392
00:19:29,172 --> 00:19:31,068
SORRY.
393
00:19:31,206 --> 00:19:32,517
SO, YOU THINK HE'S READY?
394
00:19:32,689 --> 00:19:34,655
AS READY AS 30
BUCKS WILL GET HIM.
395
00:19:34,793 --> 00:19:36,137
ALL RIGHT! YEAH.
396
00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:41,517
SO... YOU BOYS LIKE
CHICKEN TENDERS?
397
00:19:48,827 --> 00:19:50,827
[BELL RINGING]
398
00:19:56,068 --> 00:19:56,965
HOW YOU FEEL?
399
00:19:57,068 --> 00:19:59,275
GOOD. STRONG. KIYAH!
400
00:19:59,413 --> 00:20:01,275
AWESOME, BUT DON'T
GET OVERCONFIDENT.
401
00:20:01,448 --> 00:20:03,862
THIS GUY IS BIG,
TOUGH, AND STUPID,
402
00:20:03,965 --> 00:20:05,655
SO REMEMBER THE PLAN.
403
00:20:05,793 --> 00:20:07,551
RIGHT. GO OVER IT AGAIN.
404
00:20:07,655 --> 00:20:09,068
YOU JAB, YOU KICK,
405
00:20:09,172 --> 00:20:10,793
AND YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM.
406
00:20:10,896 --> 00:20:12,689
MAKE HIM KEEP COMING AFTER YOU.
407
00:20:12,827 --> 00:20:14,758
EVENTUALLY, HE'LL GET
TIRED, AND THEN YOU'LL...
408
00:20:14,896 --> 00:20:15,758
KIYAH!
409
00:20:15,896 --> 00:20:16,931
THAT'S MY BOY. YOU READY?
410
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:17,931
YOU BET.
411
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,172
GOOD. HERE COMES BUCK.
412
00:20:22,689 --> 00:20:24,931
HOPE YOU HAVE AN
AMBULANCE STANDING BY.
413
00:20:25,068 --> 00:20:27,758
YEAH, I DO... FOR YOU!
414
00:20:27,862 --> 00:20:29,931
All: OOH!
415
00:20:31,517 --> 00:20:32,413
TALK'S CHEAP.
416
00:20:32,517 --> 00:20:35,000
40 QUARTERS ON THE NEWCOMER.
417
00:20:36,413 --> 00:20:37,275
REMEMBER THE PLAN.
418
00:20:37,413 --> 00:20:40,344
RIGHT. I JAB, I PUNCH,
419
00:20:40,482 --> 00:20:42,551
AND STAY AWAY FROM
HIM UNTIL HE GETS TIRED.
420
00:20:42,655 --> 00:20:45,482
AND THEN HE'S MY
LITTLE GIRL. KIYAH!
421
00:20:45,586 --> 00:20:47,275
DO IT!
422
00:20:48,827 --> 00:20:49,931
YOU READY?
423
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,206
OH, YEAH, BABY. COME ON!
424
00:20:51,344 --> 00:20:52,172
LET'S DO THIS! LET'S GO!
425
00:20:52,344 --> 00:20:54,137
OH!
426
00:20:59,724 --> 00:21:00,724
COME ON, TIFF.
427
00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:02,448
LET'S GO GET SOME SORBET.
428
00:21:02,586 --> 00:21:05,000
OH, BUCK.
429
00:21:18,793 --> 00:21:20,448
WHERE IS IT? WHERE'D YOU PUT IT?
430
00:21:20,551 --> 00:21:22,379
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
NEVER TALKING TO ME AGAIN.
431
00:21:22,517 --> 00:21:24,413
I HAVE TO WRITE MY
MISS NANCY COLUMN.
432
00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:28,172
NOW WHERE IS MY DRESS?
433
00:21:28,310 --> 00:21:29,655
I HID IT.
434
00:21:29,793 --> 00:21:31,758
THAT'S IT!
435
00:21:31,896 --> 00:21:34,482
YOU ARE THE WORST
STEPBROTHER EVER!
436
00:21:34,586 --> 00:21:38,275
HARSH. I'M GONNA GO
MAKE MYSELF A SANDWICH.
437
00:21:38,448 --> 00:21:41,103
YOU GIVE ME MY DRESS
OR I WILL UNLEASH
438
00:21:41,206 --> 00:21:44,379
$30 WORTH OF KARATE ON YOU.
439
00:21:45,758 --> 00:21:47,000
NO.
440
00:21:47,103 --> 00:21:48,275
MAN!
441
00:21:48,344 --> 00:21:50,758
LOOK, I'M TRYING TO DO
SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU.
442
00:21:50,862 --> 00:21:51,965
YOU... YOU SAID YOURSELF
443
00:21:52,034 --> 00:21:53,394
YOU HATED DRESSING
UP LIKE A WOMAN.
444
00:21:53,517 --> 00:21:55,689
SO? SO, YOU DON'T NEED THE DRESS
445
00:21:55,793 --> 00:21:56,793
TO GIVE GOOD ADVICE.
446
00:21:56,896 --> 00:21:58,448
I TOLD YOU I DO!
447
00:21:58,586 --> 00:21:59,413
YOU DON'T.
448
00:21:59,586 --> 00:22:00,931
GIVE ME MY DRESS!
449
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,000
NO. GIVE IT!
450
00:22:02,172 --> 00:22:03,310
NOPE. DRAKE!
451
00:22:03,448 --> 00:22:04,724
QUESTION: IF SOMEBODY TOLD YOU
452
00:22:04,827 --> 00:22:06,631
THAT THEY HAD TO WEAR A
DRESS TO GIVE GOOD ADVICE,
453
00:22:06,655 --> 00:22:07,862
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?
454
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,320
I DON'T KNOW! WHAT
WOULD YOU SAY?
455
00:22:09,379 --> 00:22:10,931
DRAKE, I... WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?
456
00:22:11,034 --> 00:22:12,551
I'D SAY THAT'S RIDICULOUS!
457
00:22:12,724 --> 00:22:15,241
I'D SAY GOOD ADVICE
COMES FROM THE HEART
458
00:22:15,413 --> 00:22:16,620
AND FROM WHAT'S INSIDE YOU,
459
00:22:16,724 --> 00:22:18,172
NOT THE CLOTHES YOU WEAR.
460
00:22:18,310 --> 00:22:19,379
THAT'S STUPID.
461
00:22:19,482 --> 00:22:20,689
IT'S NOT STUPID.
462
00:22:20,862 --> 00:22:22,379
YEAH, IT IS. THAT'S
STUPID ADVICE.
463
00:22:22,517 --> 00:22:23,862
IT'S GOOD ADVICE!
464
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,080
I'M SORRY. WHAT DID YOU SAY?
465
00:22:25,241 --> 00:22:27,000
I SAID IT'S GOOD ADVICE!
466
00:22:27,068 --> 00:22:29,689
WELL, GUESS WHAT, JOSH.
467
00:22:29,793 --> 00:22:32,000
LOOKS LIKE YOU JUST
GAVE SOME GOOD ADVICE,
468
00:22:32,103 --> 00:22:34,310
AND I DON'T SEE YOU
WEARING ANY DRESS.
469
00:22:40,310 --> 00:22:44,413
HOLY... YOU'RE RIGHT.
470
00:22:44,551 --> 00:22:45,689
I KNOW.
471
00:22:45,793 --> 00:22:50,586
I GAVE GOOD ADVICE
WHILE WEARING PANTS!
472
00:22:50,689 --> 00:22:54,896
PRAISE BE THE PANTS!
473
00:22:55,034 --> 00:22:56,206
I NEVER HAVE TO DRESS
474
00:22:56,344 --> 00:22:59,206
LIKE A FREAKISH MAN-LADY AGAIN!
475
00:22:59,310 --> 00:23:00,344
AH, DRAKE!
476
00:23:00,482 --> 00:23:01,965
UM... SORRY.
477
00:23:02,068 --> 00:23:04,137
I FORGOT YOU'RE NOT
COMFORTABLE WITH THE HUGGING.
478
00:23:04,275 --> 00:23:06,206
THANKS.
479
00:23:06,344 --> 00:23:09,931
LOOK, MAN, HEY...
480
00:23:10,034 --> 00:23:13,034
I'M SORRY I GOT YOU
INTO THIS WHOLE THING
481
00:23:13,137 --> 00:23:15,000
WITH BUCK AND THE BLACK EYE.
482
00:23:15,103 --> 00:23:17,034
IT'S OK.
483
00:23:17,172 --> 00:23:18,689
I KNOW YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO.
484
00:23:20,655 --> 00:23:23,965
AND LISTEN, I'M
SORRY THAT I SAID
485
00:23:24,068 --> 00:23:26,000
YOU WERE A BAD STEPBROTHER.
486
00:23:26,137 --> 00:23:28,586
I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
487
00:23:30,827 --> 00:23:32,379
ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?
488
00:23:32,551 --> 00:23:36,482
FRIENDS? NO WAY, MAN.
489
00:23:38,965 --> 00:23:40,758
WE'RE BROTHERS.
490
00:23:44,137 --> 00:23:45,620
MAY I?
491
00:23:45,758 --> 00:23:50,103
HUG ME, BROTHER! 3 F1 3 F1
31554
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