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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:42,625 Congratulations, 2 00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:44,044 {\an8}fellow citizens! 3 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:47,422 {\an8}3023 will go down in history 4 00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:51,092 {\an8}as the year we triumphed over COVID-19! 5 00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:57,348 We interrupt the triumph over COVID-19 6 00:00:57,348 --> 00:01:00,518 {\an8}for a special report. A new virus-- 7 00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:02,020 Oh, for Pete's sake. 8 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:04,939 {\an8}A new virus dubbed EXPLOVID-23 9 00:01:04,939 --> 00:01:06,900 {\an8}has broken out among the mutants 10 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,818 {\an8}who dwell beneath New New York. 11 00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:12,197 Symptoms include blinding, uncontrollable anger! 12 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:15,033 As well as a mild cough, which I don't have. I'm fine. 13 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:17,827 {\an8}A complete travel ban to and from the sewers 14 00:01:17,827 --> 00:01:21,790 {\an8}is being enforced by the city's fattest police officers. 15 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:24,793 {\an8}Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad! Love ya! 16 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:27,087 Feh. Always with the love. 17 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,881 We already hugged you. Now, we gotta talk about it? 18 00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:35,053 {\an8}Sorry I'm late... What? 19 00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:40,558 {\an8}Let's move, you sofa snails! We've got a delivery! 20 00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:47,941 And now, I'm proud to present 21 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,984 the city's highest award, 22 00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:52,779 the key to the Times Square liquor cabinet, 23 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:55,990 to the super spreader of truth himself, 24 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:58,827 Bill Nye, the Science Head! 25 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,122 {\an8}Congratulations, Mr. Science. 26 00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:06,459 {\an8}Lemme just bend that mic for you. 27 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:08,962 {\an8}Thank you for this 28 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,880 {\an8}tremendously dubious honor. 29 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:14,092 After what seemed like 1,000 years of COVID... 30 00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,844 But, was actually more! 31 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:19,472 ...I declare the pandemic to be officially over. 32 00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:29,149 {\an8}Ugh. Watch where ya's coughin', bow tie! 33 00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:30,358 {\an8}Ow-zers! 34 00:02:30,358 --> 00:02:31,901 {\an8}For crying out loud! 35 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:38,616 I'm using the principles of aerodynamics 36 00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:40,160 to get the hell outta here! 37 00:02:45,623 --> 00:02:47,500 Do it again! 38 00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:50,879 An anger pandemic? 39 00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:53,715 Not to point fingers, but Leela's spreading it. 40 00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:56,634 I am not, you jerks! 41 00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:58,386 I'm just running a couple degrees 42 00:02:58,386 --> 00:02:59,470 angrier than normal. 43 00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:02,807 Good news, infecter-inos! 44 00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:05,768 I've developed a test to see who's got the virus 45 00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:08,062 and who's just naturally mean. 46 00:03:08,062 --> 00:03:11,274 You simply jam this Q-tip up your nose... 47 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,403 way, way up your nose, 48 00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:17,989 and collect a brain matter sample. 49 00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:19,407 That looks kinda fun. 50 00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:21,659 I can't wait to do it hundreds of times! 51 00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:23,745 Now, we wait for a line to appear 52 00:03:23,745 --> 00:03:25,246 under the two control dots. 53 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:28,625 If the line curves up, you're fine. 54 00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,211 Huzzah! 55 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:35,215 Here goes nothing. 56 00:03:43,973 --> 00:03:45,767 This can't be right, Professor! 57 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:48,353 Your test stinks, and so does your ugly face! 58 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,104 Oh no! She's got it! 59 00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,148 Quarantine her in the angry dome! 60 00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:59,239 Stupid, stinkin', lousy, no good, son of a-- 61 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,369 While we don't yet know how the virus spreads, 62 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,746 {\an8}we do know it's anger-based. 63 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:10,083 {\an8}I am therefore issuing an executive aroo 64 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,627 {\an8}that everyone wear a mask over their ears 65 00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:15,838 {\an8}to prevent the transmission of upsetting remarks. 66 00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:17,590 Agnew! Come! 67 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:24,347 {\an8}Mr. President, how could this possibly be of the slightest-- 68 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:25,556 Thanks, fellas. 69 00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:27,225 Since I don't hear any questions, 70 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:29,936 this prrress conference is adjourned! 71 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,854 Out of an abundance of caution, 72 00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:34,107 all work will hence forth go remote 73 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,359 using a new app called Gloom. 74 00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,027 {\an8}In some ways, 75 00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:39,237 {\an8}it will be better. 76 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,531 {\an8}Especially for those of us with families. 77 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:47,078 {\an8}Dwight, stop Gloom-bombing your dad's meeting! 78 00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:49,080 {\an8}And put on some britches! 79 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,248 {\an8}Hey, LaBarbara. 80 00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:52,417 {\an8}How's your grandma? She improvin'? 81 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:53,710 {\an8}Yeah, she doing alright. 82 00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,169 {\an8}Give her my best. 83 00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:56,671 {\an8}ZOIDBERG I'm having trouble with my-- 84 00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:57,880 {\an8}Anybody hear-- 85 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,550 {\an8}-Wi-Fi issues-- hungry. 86 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,136 {\an8}Bender, you idiot! 87 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,887 {\an8}Do you have to eat those now!? 88 00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:06,764 {\an8}I don't have to eat anything ever. 89 00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:09,559 {\an8}I'm warning you! 90 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:12,061 {\an8}What are you gonna do? 91 00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:14,188 {\an8}Hi... yah! 92 00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:16,691 {\an8}Wow, this technology's come a long way. 93 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,818 {\an8}I actually like working on Gloom. 94 00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,903 {\an8}These hair filters save a ton of time. 95 00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:27,076 {\an8}- Uh-wha... - Professor, you're a teddy bear! 96 00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:29,746 {\an8}I assure you I am not. 97 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:31,748 {\an8}Aw... 98 00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:33,166 Is this the Gloom room 99 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,460 where I can refill my prescriptions? 100 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:37,712 No! This is a delivery company! 101 00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:40,173 Can you deliver my prescriptions? 102 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,883 We could, but we won't! 103 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:44,093 Oh, this is a dismal failure. 104 00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:46,846 Everyone report to the office in person. 105 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,681 But, Professor! That is a violation 106 00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:50,516 of health and safety standards. 107 00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:52,643 Everything we do is a violation 108 00:05:52,643 --> 00:05:54,270 of health and safety standards! 109 00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:56,022 Just wear a mask! 110 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:02,362 We are dealing with a highly contagious virus, 111 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,198 so we'll need to practice hygiene theater. 112 00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:12,372 You know, I heard there's 113 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,332 not really even a virus at all. 114 00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:17,168 It's just a big hoax, like the moon landing. 115 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:19,128 You were on the moon last week! 116 00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:21,005 You grew up on Mars! 117 00:06:21,005 --> 00:06:23,132 That's what they want you to think! 118 00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:26,177 Ugh. Enough with the conspiracy theories, people! 119 00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:28,054 Let's look at the facts. 120 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,430 Irrational rage, 121 00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:31,933 spread through saliva and spit, 122 00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:33,768 constant angry moaning. 123 00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:35,853 It's all the classic symptoms... 124 00:06:35,853 --> 00:06:37,647 of zombie-ism! 125 00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:42,402 That's completely unscientific, Hermes. 126 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,569 EXPLOVID victims 127 00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,279 move at way too normal 128 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:46,989 a speed to be zombies. 129 00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:49,367 There are all speeds of zombies out there! 130 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:52,286 Fast ones. Slow ones. Brisk shufflers. 131 00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:54,705 But, the cure is always the same. 132 00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:56,791 - Voodoo. - Balderdash! 133 00:06:56,791 --> 00:07:00,628 People stopped believing in voodoo back in Fry's time. 134 00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:03,131 But, voodoo didn't stop believing in them. 135 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:05,133 Voodoo may not be well understood, 136 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,093 but it gets results. 137 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,845 You know what else gets results? 138 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,304 Public ridicule. 139 00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:15,977 HERMES And yet, there are zombies. 140 00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:20,189 Oh shoot. 141 00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:22,024 I forgot to pick up a goat! 142 00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:23,526 Dwight, go across the hall 143 00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:25,403 and borrow goat from Mrs. Wilson. 144 00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:28,531 Pack your bags. We are going to New New Orleans. 145 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,533 For Mardi Gras? 146 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:31,826 No. Well, I mean, 147 00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:33,077 it happens to be Mardi Gras, 148 00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:34,287 but that's beside the point! 149 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:35,913 I believe there are people there 150 00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:37,832 who could defeat this virus with... 151 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,167 voodoo. 152 00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:43,463 Dwight, go to your room right now! 153 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:47,258 You are messin' with powers you don't understand, husband. 154 00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:49,969 - But, I do! - Then come with me, woman! 155 00:07:50,761 --> 00:07:52,096 You must listen to me 156 00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:54,682 'cause I grew up in a voodoo family, 157 00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:57,852 and zombie-ism killed my father! 158 00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,937 Then brought him back to life! 159 00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:03,316 Me don't want anymore to do with that world. 160 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,734 Then I'll have to seek out 161 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,403 these practitioners of the dark arts on my own. 162 00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,197 Hopefully, they are near that place 163 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:10,656 with the good beignets. 164 00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:13,034 Be very careful, husband, 165 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:16,496 and promise me one thing. If you survive, 166 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,831 you gonna bring me back some of them beignets! 167 00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:31,511 What? It's my emotional support gun. 168 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,972 Which section, sir? Business or fighting? 169 00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:37,850 - Uh, the first one. - Right this way. 170 00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:41,145 - Hand sanitizer? - No thanks. 171 00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:42,688 Eh, more for me. 172 00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:46,442 Ma'am? Ma'am? 173 00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:47,902 Please don't jam your husband 174 00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:48,986 into the overhead bin. 175 00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:50,196 Don't you tell my wife 176 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,614 how to jam me into things! 177 00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:53,032 I know my rights. 178 00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,742 I'm recording you! 179 00:08:54,742 --> 00:08:56,536 And I'm recording you 180 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,621 for recording him without permission! 181 00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:06,963 As your mayor, I'm proud to announce 182 00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,465 that our city's most prominent egghead 183 00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:11,926 has developed a vaccine that will end 184 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:15,012 my terrible poll numbers once and for all! 185 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,557 Quite so. 186 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,518 Thanks to cutting edge RNA technology, 187 00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:24,105 my vaccine is as potent as it is untested. 188 00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:27,108 Ha! My essentially identical vaccine 189 00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:28,818 is far superior! 190 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,695 Wernstrom. 191 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:33,281 - It's a two-shot regimen. - Oh, yeah? 192 00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:34,657 Well, mine's three, 193 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:35,950 and it makes your shoulders 194 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,159 sore for a month! 195 00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:38,327 Mine makes your arm 196 00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:39,620 shrivel and fall off! 197 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:42,999 Big deal! Mine comes with a futuristic way 198 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:45,376 of knowing exactly who's been vaccinated 199 00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:46,586 and who hasn't,. 200 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,087 A small scrap 201 00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:50,256 of easily-lost paper. 202 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,471 I made your favorite, Leela. 203 00:09:57,471 --> 00:09:59,599 Chicken-shaped steak! 204 00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:03,978 "Wow, this is great Fry!" 205 00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:07,064 Is what I'd say if this pan sauce weren't so bland! 206 00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:10,359 Yeah, well, I know that's just the virus talking. 207 00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:12,445 How's the cream pie? 208 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,905 Scoop Chang, 209 00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:16,282 New New Yorker Crossword Puzzle editor, 210 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,366 Smartwatch Edition. 211 00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:18,534 Dr. Wernstrom, 212 00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:19,660 what do you say to reports 213 00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:20,995 your vaccine has the side effect 214 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,163 of magnetism? 215 00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:24,665 That's a feature, not a bug. 216 00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:27,960 Linda, Morbo and Linda. 217 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,338 According to an anonymous internet post, 218 00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:33,090 your anti-anger vaccine causes sterility. 219 00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:35,885 - Care to comment? - The sterility is essential! 220 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,804 Studies show that kids are what make people angriest! 221 00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:40,306 Everyone hates kids! 222 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,560 Am I the only journalist here 223 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,937 who even bothered to bring my own facts? 224 00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:48,606 Dr. Banjo! 225 00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:51,317 Yes, the Dr. Banjo 226 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:55,279 of The Dr. Banjo Experience Podcast Experience Hour. 227 00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:56,781 Professor Farnsworth, 228 00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,616 how do you respond to rumors I'm starting 229 00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:01,535 that there are 5G chips in your vaccine? 230 00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:03,287 I would simply reassure you 231 00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:05,081 that the 5G chips are safe 232 00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:07,416 and purely for surveillance purposes. 233 00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,251 Dear God! 234 00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:10,711 But, that's how it works! 235 00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:13,756 The 5G chips track the virus particles, 236 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,050 so the space lasers can shoot them. 237 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,427 Keep that quackery away from me! 238 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,316 May I take your tray, ma'am? 239 00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:35,528 No, you may not take my dang tray! 240 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,489 Ow! Why do we have to serve shish kabob? 241 00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:40,658 Hey, don't make me come back there! 242 00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:43,661 - Sir, please go back to your seat. - I'm the captain! 243 00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:46,122 Don't you pull rank with me, flyboy! 244 00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:48,958 Sit your tushy down, and drive this thing. 245 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,209 Tushy my ass! 246 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,805 This is the captain speaking. 247 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,640 Passengers fighting in the window seats will notice 248 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,560 we're careening past scenic Lake Pontchartrain. 249 00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:21,031 Help... I can't move my legs... 250 00:12:21,031 --> 00:12:22,867 Ooh! I smell gumbo! 251 00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:51,187 Hello, madam. Is this the Voodoo HQ? 252 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,272 Shh. You do voodoo? 253 00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:54,774 You misconstrue. 254 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,234 Who do voodoo at the HQ? 255 00:12:57,234 --> 00:12:58,486 Entendu. 256 00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:01,614 But, such information won't come cheap. 257 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:03,991 I found this quarter outside. 258 00:13:03,991 --> 00:13:06,410 Don't worry. I wiped off most of the vomit. 259 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:10,623 Then let us consult the tarot. 260 00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:16,837 {\an8}The Key of Bones, 261 00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,672 {\an8}the Hanging Man, 262 00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:22,301 {\an8}the Man Being Crushed by a Big Beignet, 263 00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:25,888 {\an8}and the Man Being Beaten by the Saints Mascot. 264 00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:29,183 Which path do you choose? 265 00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:30,392 Hm. 266 00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:32,478 What's in that pot under the hanging guy? 267 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,605 Boiling gumbo. 268 00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:36,190 I'll start with the gumbo. 269 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,361 Hit me. 270 00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,363 {\an8}Bam! 271 00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:47,910 {\an8}Mm. Kinda mild. 272 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,453 {\an8}Guess I'll try this one instead. 273 00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:54,625 This damned pandemic would be over 274 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:57,253 if only people would take my vaccine. 275 00:13:57,253 --> 00:14:00,422 Why is everyone but me so stupid!? 276 00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:04,134 Splah. Because everyone but you uses social media! 277 00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:06,303 These vaccine fascists 278 00:14:06,303 --> 00:14:08,138 are taking away our freedom! 279 00:14:08,138 --> 00:14:10,391 I might as well be in a cage at the zoo, 280 00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:11,976 like my aunt! 281 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:16,021 This confounded mask is destroying my lungs. 282 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:21,068 All this misinformation on Facebag 283 00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:24,738 is tearing us apart. I wonder who's posting it. 284 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:31,745 What else should I post, Dad? 285 00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:33,706 Who cares? The crazier the better. 286 00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:36,625 Tell 'em worm medicine helps! 287 00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:39,837 Those poor, easily manipulated fools. 288 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:42,673 Soon, our time to invade will draw near! 289 00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:43,966 Sounds fun. 290 00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:47,094 I'll pack my scream-canceling headphones. 291 00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:50,139 LEELA Lousy, rotten, tiny angry dome! 292 00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:52,224 Leela? I'm really sorry. 293 00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:54,560 I tried shoving these flowers where you said, 294 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,438 but I just couldn't manage it. Please take them. 295 00:14:57,438 --> 00:14:59,523 Don't come any closer, you dope! 296 00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:01,609 You'll get sick and probably beat up. 297 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:02,776 I don't care. 298 00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:05,154 I can't stand being apart any longer! 299 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,488 I'm coming in. 300 00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:24,548 {\an8}That fortune teller must have been jerking my chicken! 301 00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:25,633 There's nothing here! 302 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,428 Nothing but us bones, mon ami. 303 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,305 Sweet andouille of St. Louis! 304 00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:33,849 A robot made of bones! 305 00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:35,976 Je m'appelle Bonebot. 306 00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:38,145 Been bones-keepin' this boneyard 307 00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:40,397 for three bone-red years. 308 00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:43,651 Oh good! Because I am on a bone-related errand. 309 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:46,946 I'm looking for a secret bone key to the Voodoo HQ. 310 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:50,366 Huh. I ain't never seen no bone key. 311 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,868 Have you checked that prominently displayed skull? 312 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,290 Well, huh. Guess I never really 313 00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:00,125 done looked 'round the place. 314 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:02,544 Probably 'cause I got no eyes. 315 00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:05,047 Come on! I'll give you a ride. 316 00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:13,639 Go on and git from here, gar fish! 317 00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:20,854 That eighth bowl of gumbo may have been a mistake. 318 00:16:20,854 --> 00:16:24,149 No amount of gumbo's a mistake, mon ami. 319 00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:26,193 Water's always choppy in there here parts 320 00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:28,696 on account of the force field levees. 321 00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:34,159 Y'all see a dugong from Macon, run 'em down! 322 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:36,912 He absconded with my daughter's dowry. 323 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,800 This place gimme the heebie-jeebies, 324 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,760 and not the boogie woogie kind! 325 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,554 You're literally made of bones! 326 00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:55,097 And I aim to keep it that way! 327 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,683 Bon voyage! 328 00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:11,530 Wh-Who goes there? 329 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,535 Barbados Slim!? 330 00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:19,663 People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive. 331 00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:21,040 Come in, Hermes! 332 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,584 Make yourself feel inadequate. 333 00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:36,055 Tonight, Earth is under attack. 334 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,806 Alien invaders have taken advantage 335 00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:40,059 of our planet's internal divisions 336 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,227 to launch an all-out assault. 337 00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:45,314 Die, you disgusting freak! 338 00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:49,276 I just hope I kill you before those invaders do. 339 00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:52,946 All hope is lost. Morbo? 340 00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:55,032 They must be destroyed! 341 00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:57,659 Both sides must be destroyed! 342 00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:01,163 I am so sick of you! 343 00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,581 Help! 344 00:18:02,581 --> 00:18:05,167 You're the head of the Voodoo HQ? 345 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,836 - I can't believe it! - Believe it, man. 346 00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:10,089 Me studied with the best of the best. 347 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,091 She goes by the name of... 348 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,176 LaBarbara. 349 00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:16,303 And she was good at voodoo, too. 350 00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:21,850 You stay away from her! She's married to me now! 351 00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:24,269 You two are mostly ancient history. 352 00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:26,980 History has a way of repeating itself, brother. 353 00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:29,525 Now, what brings you here? 354 00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,735 The virus. I believe voodoo 355 00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:33,779 might be the only thing that can fight it. 356 00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,239 Well, that much is obvious. 357 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:38,242 I thought it might be a form of demonic possession, 358 00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:40,577 but the tests came back negative. 359 00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:41,995 But, consider this. 360 00:18:41,995 --> 00:18:45,833 My theory is the virus is a type of zombie-ism! 361 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:48,043 Sweet potatoes of Barbados! 362 00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:50,963 You don't see a lot of angry, shouting zombies, 363 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,923 but it would explain a lot. 364 00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:56,218 Hermes, you may have cracked this coconut. 365 00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:58,846 Stop naming foods! Getting hungry again. 366 00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:02,391 Sadly, curing zombie-ism is the kind of voodoo 367 00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:03,809 I don't do. 368 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:06,311 There's only one person with that expertise, 369 00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:08,355 and I'm afraid-- 370 00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:10,816 Afraid she might be too sexually attracted 371 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,276 to you to think straight? 372 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:14,027 Well, you're mostly right. 373 00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:15,112 LaBarbara!? 374 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,948 Hermes, I couldn't let you do this alone. 375 00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:21,451 You were brave to come here, and I love you. 376 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,246 Well, hello, Barbados. 377 00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:26,874 But, how did you find us here? 378 00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:29,376 And why do you have a key to Barbados' place? 379 00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:30,752 Eh, that's not important. 380 00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:33,255 I've also got a key to your place. 381 00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:34,506 Also not important. 382 00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:38,385 Come! Follow me to the inner sanctum. 383 00:19:45,642 --> 00:19:47,186 What dark 384 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,521 well-lit sorcery is this? 385 00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:04,661 People of Earth! I am Lrrr, 386 00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:07,456 ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8! 387 00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:09,374 Excuse me. 388 00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:13,337 I shall rule mercilessly over your weak and divided-- 389 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:16,965 That's odd. I've never sneezed before. 390 00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:18,300 I don't even have a nose. 391 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,886 Me neither. 392 00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,221 Stop interrupting me 393 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,097 while I'm trying to dominate these people! 394 00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:26,725 You couldn't dominate a bowl of fudge! 395 00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:28,810 Although you sure try! 396 00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,604 - Oh yeah? - Oh! 397 00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:32,522 It's better than that flavor-free dessert 398 00:20:32,522 --> 00:20:34,107 that you serve. Is that right? 399 00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:37,569 Oh, it's just as I feared. 400 00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:42,074 The virus has mutated with Omicronium NDNDNA. 401 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:45,244 It's a highly contagious Omicron variant. 402 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,828 You're a contagious variant! 403 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,456 Go back where you came from, 404 00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:51,375 you Omi-clods. 405 00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:55,254 Everyone is so angry. 406 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,256 Especially me! 407 00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,924 Ow! My schnookus! 408 00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:06,932 Kill all humans! Kill all humans! 409 00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:08,976 Can robots even get the virus? 410 00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:10,143 What virus? 411 00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:16,149 Now, the key is to produce a voodoo potion 412 00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:19,111 that tricks the body into thinking it has the virus, 413 00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:21,822 but without actually getting the disease. 414 00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:25,784 Aha! So, the immune system falls under its spell 415 00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:29,204 and produces anti-jujus that attack the spike protein, 416 00:21:29,204 --> 00:21:32,082 thus inoculating against future infection. 417 00:21:32,082 --> 00:21:33,583 Precisely. 418 00:21:33,583 --> 00:21:36,878 You got some serious mental pecs, husband. 419 00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:39,006 My second favorite kind. 420 00:21:40,215 --> 00:21:41,675 Hey, cut that out! 421 00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:43,802 Why didn't I get a wink for my mental pecs? 422 00:21:44,886 --> 00:21:46,013 Now, we gonna need 423 00:21:46,013 --> 00:21:47,264 an animal sacrifice. 424 00:21:47,264 --> 00:21:49,683 I-I mean, um, test subject. 425 00:21:49,683 --> 00:21:52,728 Not me. (cough) I'm too angry! 426 00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:54,229 Don't worry, man. 427 00:21:54,229 --> 00:21:56,356 The doll won't feel a thing. 428 00:21:56,356 --> 00:21:58,942 Ow! My calculator arm! 429 00:21:58,942 --> 00:22:00,861 I just hope it's got the mojo 430 00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:02,988 to defeat this anger virus. 431 00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:04,740 Come, let's run a test. 432 00:22:08,577 --> 00:22:12,456 Hm. I just feel a normal, easy to repress rage. 433 00:22:12,456 --> 00:22:16,001 Then, perhaps we should test it a bit more thoroughly. 434 00:22:17,544 --> 00:22:18,587 That's enough testing! 435 00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:21,048 Voodoo shots! 436 00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:23,425 Freshly conjured voodoo shots! 437 00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:24,926 Ow! 438 00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:31,308 Can you assure me there is absolutely 439 00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:33,393 no science in this vaccine? 440 00:22:33,393 --> 00:22:37,272 Nothing but 100% Louisiana swamp voodoo. 441 00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:43,820 Ouchie! 442 00:22:43,820 --> 00:22:46,239 I was, uh, promised a lollipop. 443 00:22:46,239 --> 00:22:48,408 Uh, here. 444 00:22:48,408 --> 00:22:51,411 Mm, tastes a bit like wig glue. 445 00:22:51,411 --> 00:22:54,289 What a bunch of mumbo gumbo! 446 00:22:54,289 --> 00:22:56,708 Anything I can't understand is fake! 447 00:22:56,708 --> 00:22:57,793 Ooh! 448 00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:03,840 Ahh, that's better. 449 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,342 Hermes, my friend. 450 00:23:05,342 --> 00:23:09,262 I owe you an apology for being so anti-voodoo. 451 00:23:09,262 --> 00:23:12,099 It may seem bat-whack crazy to a layman, 452 00:23:12,099 --> 00:23:14,601 but I see now that voodoo methods 453 00:23:14,601 --> 00:23:17,938 are built on centuries of brilliant scholarship. 454 00:23:17,938 --> 00:23:21,316 It's okay, Professor. And it's understandable. 455 00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:24,694 After all, any sufficiently advanced magic 456 00:23:24,694 --> 00:23:27,989 is indistinguishable from science. 457 00:23:30,492 --> 00:23:32,994 Ahh yeah... 33050

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