All language subtitles for off 304

Hey, Ryan,

can I get you a pencil
from the warehouse?

Oh, no, thanks. I'm good.

Well, it's okay. I'm going down.

Yeah. Absolutely.

All right, I'll be right back.

Awesome.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Michael, could you get me a
pen from down in the warehouse?

Don't mind if I do.

See you in a minute.

Okay!

There you go,
fresh from the warehouse.

Hey, Michael, would you get me
some coffee from the warehouse?

There's coffee
in the kitchen, Pam.

But the warehouse coffee
tastes so much better.

Yeah. It's better.

Okay. Great.

All right, okay.

I am like Bette midler in for the
boys. Gotta keep the troops entertained.

With cream and sugar?

All right.

Jan: So, I wanted to let you
know that we lost ed truck.

Okay, let me see
if I have his cell.

Is this the only reason
you are calling, jan,

or does somebody miss me?

Michael, ed died
over the weekend.

Oh, wow.

Attention, everybody!

I just received
a call from corporate

with some news that they felt
that I should know first.

My old boss, ed truck, has died.

Oh, Michael, that's such terrible
news. You must feel so sad.

Yes, I am. It's very sad,

because he was my boss.

Oh, that's a shame.
Ed was a good guy.

That's right. You worked
with him. So did creed.

Well, I'll be in my office

in case anybody
wants to drop by,

cheer me up.

So, did you hear the news?

The news that you just
announced, that ed died?

Yeah.
Is there anything I can do?

Oh, gosh. What can
anybody do, really? Lfs_.

He was almost 70.
Circle of life.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

What's going on
with Fairfield county schools?

Karen, did you generate
that price list?

Shoot. I will. I'm sorry.

Okay, just get it done.
Jim, will you make sure?

Oh, yeah, definitely.

Suck up!

Josh, did you hear what I said?

Thank you, everyone.

Damn it.

What's up?

Oh, nothing. We're
just out of herr's chips.

But don't worry about it.

My snack food doesn't fall under
the umbrella of your authority.

That's where you're wrong.

I'm your project supervisor
today

and I have just decided
that we're not doing anything

until you get the chips
that you require.

So I think we should go
get some.

Now, please.

It's a real shame about ed, huh?

Yeah.

Must really have you thinking.

About what?

The older you get, the bigger
the chance is you're gonna die.

You knew that.

Ed was decapitated.

Really? What?

He was drunk as a skunk,
he was flying down route 6,

he slides under an eighteen-Wheeler,
pop, it snaps right off.

Oh, my god.

That is the way to go.
Instant death, very smart.

You know, a human can go on living
for several hours after being decapitated.

You're thinking of a chicken.

What did I say?

Michael: That is just
not the way

a dunder Mifflin manager
should go, I'm sorry.

Alone, out of the blue.

Not even have his own head
to comfort him.

So I'm not exactly sure
how to say this...

Ed was decapitated.

What are you doing?

You said you didn't know
how to say it. I didn't...

He was driving on the road
and he went under a truck

and that's when his head
was separated

from the rest of him.

Now, we'll let you know more
as soon as I find out.

Hey. Hi.

If my head ever comes off, I
would like you to put it on ice.

I do not want
to talk about this.

When I die, I want to be frozen.

And if they have to freeze me
in pieces, so be it.

I will wake up stronger than ever
because I will have used that time

to figure out exactly why I died

and what moves I could have
used to defend myself better,

now that I know
what hold he had me in.

I don't understand.

We have a day honoring Martin
Luther king, but he didn't even work here.

Jan: I understand how
you feel, Michael, I really do.

So would it be helpful
to give everyone the day off?

You really don't get it, do you?
You don't understand these people.

That is the last thing that
they would want, is a day off.

Well, what would you suggest?

A statue.

Ofed? Yeah.

I'm not sure that's realistic.

Well, I think it would be very
realistic. Itwould look just like him.

No, that's not...

We could have his eyes light up.

Could have his arms move.

That is not a statue.
That is a robot.

I think that is a great way
to honor ed.

And how big
do you want this robot?

Life-size.

No. Better make it two-thirds.
Easier to stop if it turns on us.

What the hell
are you two talking about?

Well, we are talking about
how to properly honor

a man who gave his life as regional
manager of this company, jan.

You know what, Michael, I
have really tried with you today

and I have to get back to work.

Oh, do you?

You know who wished they
could get back to work is ed truck.

So call me when you feel
like... but ed truck can't...

Having a real conversation.
Goodbye... because he is dead!

Look, I gave him a 6-foot
extension cord so he can't chase us.

That's perfect.

Okay, that is a "no"
on the West Side market.

Okay, great. I think that's enough.
Can I get back to work now?

Wow.

Never pegged you for a quitter.

I am not a quitter. I will
do this all day if you want.

Really? I don't know about that.

Yeah, all day.

What are we doing?
What's the game? I want in.

Oh, there's no game. We're just
trying to get these chips for Karen.

Did you check
the vending machine?

Oh, the vending machines.
How did we miss that?

I have no idea.

We went right for the copier.

And then we checked the fax
machine. Yeah, nothing there.

Did you check your butt?

Can you imagine
how much blood there was?

If it happened right here, it would
reach all the way to reception.

Probably get on Pam.

Okay, that's enough.

What? We do not
want to hear about this.

Well, you know what? I didn't
want to hear about it either, Stanley,

but I did and now
I can't stop picturing it.

He leaves work, he's on his way
home... his cappa is detated from his head.

You have just spit on my face.

Well, you know what, there's
something wrong with you.

There is something wrong
with everybody in here

because we have lost

a member of our family and
you don't want to talk about it.

You don't want to think about it,
you just want to get back to work.

There are five stages to grief,

which are denial, anger, bargaining,
depression and acceptance.

And right now, out there,
they are all denying

the fact that they're sad, and that's
hard, and it's making them all angry.

And it is my job to try to get them
all the way through to acceptance

and, if not acceptance,
then just depression.

If I can get them depressed,
then I'll have done my job.

I am going
to throw you this ball.

When you catch the ball,
I want you to say

the name of a person very important to
you, somebody really special, who died,

and then I want you
to say how they died.

And you may cry if you like.

That is encouraged. Let me just
start. Let me show you how this works.

I catch the ball.

I lost ed truck

and it feels like somebody
took my heart

and dropped it into a bucket
of boiling tears.

And, at the same time,

somebody else is hitting my soul

in the crotch with
a frozen sledgehammer.

And then a third guy walks in and
starts punching me in the grief bone.

And I'm crying,
and nobody can hear me

because I am terribly,
terribly, terribly alone.

Excuse me, I'm sorry to
interrupt. I need to see Pam.

There seems to be, like, something
wrong with the radiator in her car.

Okay, fine, hurry back.

There's nothing wrong
with your car.

Just thought you might want a break
from the grief counseling session.

Oh, I would like a break.

How are you liking the new car?

Great.

Yeah?

It sure is small.

Got air bags?

I think so.

I don't know. I was mainly
focused on the cup-holders.

Well, you still aren't
driving so fast, are you?

Yeah.

Hi, yeah. This is Mike
from the West Side market.

Well, we had a shipment
of herr's salt & vinegar chips

and we ordered that about
three weeks ago and haven't...

Yeah.

You have the in the warehouse?
Great. What is my store number?

Six.

What? No. I'll call you back.

Shut up. Six?

Okay, we can start.

You waited for me? Yeah.

Pam, you're a member of this family,
so we will wait for our family members.

Phyllis, you want
to give it a shot?

I got it.

When my mother
was pregnant with me,

they did an ultrasound and
found she was having twins.

When they did another
ultrasound a few weeks later,

they discovered that I had
resorbed the other fetus.

Do I regret this? No. I believe
his tissues made me stronger.

I now have the strength of a
grown man and a little baby.

Okay, why don't you throw
the ball to somebody else?

Nope.

Oh, yes, Stanley, come on.

Your turn. You have to go.

I will not.

Okay,

I'm going to toss the ball
to Pam.

Let's see.

I had an aunt that
I was really close to.

She was
this amazing female boxer.

Anyway, she was injured in a
fight, and she was paralyzed.

So you can imagine
how upset I was

when I found out that she asked her
manager to remove her breathing tube

so she could die.

Wow.

If you want to cry, that's okay.

Thanks.

A few years ago, my family
was on a safari in Africa,

and my cousin, mufasa, was...

He was trampled to death
by a pack of wildebeests,

and we all took it really hard.

All of us kind of in the
audience of what happened.

Do you want
to talk about it any more?

Oh, itwould probably take me, like, an
hour and a half to tell that whole story.

Me, me. Me, me, me.
Me, me. Yes. Okay.

I was trying to throw this party once,
and everyone was over for the weekend,

and then my uncle Bernie died.

And so, me and my best friend,
we had to pretend

like he was alive, so...

Wait a second.

That's weekend at Bernie's.

Do you think that
this is a game?

Well, there is a ball...

All right. We're starting over.

No, I'm done.

You are not leaving!
No, we are not done!

We really have
a lot of work to do.

Yeah, well, you know what?

The guy who had my job
has died and nobody cares!

And he sat at my desk.

Michael, look,

I know this is hard for you,
but death's just a part of life.

I mean, just this morning I saw a little
bird fly into the glass doors downstairs

and die

and I had to keep going...

How do you know? What?

That that bird was dead?

Did you check its breathing?

It was obvious.

Was its heart beating?
Toby, did you check it?

No, of course you didn't.
You're not a veterinarian!

You don't know anything!

Michael!

Michael?

Michael.

Oh, god! Oh, my god!

Oh, my god! Come on.

Poor little fella. Oh, shoot!

He's a goner. No, he's not.

Yeah. No, he's not.

Michael, get him away from your head!
He is covered in germs and bacteria!

No! You can't get diseases
from a bird!

A dead bird should not be
in the kitchen.

We don't know if it's dead.

No. That thing is dead.

You want me to flush him?

Attention, everybody.

This will only take
a second of your time.

Today at 4:00 pm, we will
be meeting in the parking lot

to have a funeral service
for this bird.

I have a lot of work to do.

Well, I'm sorry to
inconvenience you, Meredith,

but that is what you do when
things die. You honor them.

Toby killed this bird and
now we are going to honor it.

But...
No! No! No! That's enough!

You know what? This
bird is dead. He died alone.

The least you can do
is be there for him now.

Find a box for him.

I'm calling a supermarket
in Montreal.

Nice.

Nope.

Sounded good. Thanks.

It's okay. It's okay.

Yes, I know, I know. It's been a
tough day, but it's good to let it show.

I mean, how many times do I
have to confirm plans with Ryan

for him to know
that we have a date tonight?

God!

What are...

What are you doing?

What?

No, this is about
the right size.

No, god, no! It's not!

What is the matter with you?
Is that the beak?

I'm sorry. I grew up on a farm.

We slaughtered a pig
whenever we wanted bacon.

My grandfather was reburied
in an old oil drum.

Itwould have fit if he had
given me another minute.

I need a box, I need a box.
A small box.

Not too confining.

Is it for the bird?

Yeah. Ihaveitcovered.

Oh, thank you.

If you want to do something
forthefuneral yes, please.

Maybe you could play a song
on your recorder?

Excehent
do you have it with you?

Always.

Did I wake up this morning thinking
I'd be throwing together a bird funeral?

You never can tell what your
day here is gonna turn into.

Where'd you find them?

Where'd I find what?

I called the manufacturer, who
referred me to the distributor,

who referred me to the
vending machine company,

who told me that they sell them in
the machines in the building next door.

Glad you could all make it.

You told us we had to.

Dwight, do you have the box?

Actually, I have it.

You made this? Wow.

That's... that's very nice.

When I was five, my mom told
me that my fish went to the hospital

in the toilet and it never came
back, so we had a funeral for it.

And I remember thinking,
"I'm a little too old for this."

And I was five.

I'd also like to say a
few words if that's okay.

Yes.

What do we know about this bird?

You might think, "not much, it's just
a bird." But we do know some things.

We know it was a local bird.

Maybe it's that same bird that
surprised Oscar that one morning

with a special present
from above.

I remember that.
That was so funny.

And we know how he died,
flying into the glass doors.

But you know what? I don't
think he was being stupid.

I think hejust really,
really wanted

to come inside our building
to spread his cheer

and lift our spirits
with a song.

It's not a songbird.

An impression, then. Lastly,

we can't help but notice that
he was by himself when he died,

but of course we all know
that doesn't mean he was alone,

because I am sure that there
were lots of other birds out there

who cared for him very much.

He will not be forgotten.

Amen.

Just smile for me
and let the day begin

you are the sunshine
that lights my heart within...

Michael: Society teaches us
that having feelings

and crying is bad and wrong.

Well, that's baloney,
because grief isn't wrong.

There's such a thing
as good grief.

Just ask Charlie brown.

Let's get back to work.

Guys, get a broom,
let's clean this up.

Grab a broom,
you heard me. Mush!