Original subtitles

Salem?

Glee club!

Oh man, don't do that to me.

Sorry, but I need a favor.

See, I haven't had a date in weeks.

No.

Come on, you've done it before.

Well, I'm not doing it again.

I'll make it worth your while.

Hmm... okay,

but it's going to cost you.

Here's your cat, ma'am.

I can't believe he did that.

Bad kitty.

Cats aren't the brightest animals.

You are so right. Ow!

Are you okay?

Yeah, I am fine.

How can I ever thank you?

Oh, look!

A freshly baked homemade seven-layer cake.

Would you like some?

Was it made by a single gal?

Yes, sirree.

I'll just put my ladder away

and be right back.

Good work, Salem.

Show me the tuna!

♪ You got to show me the tuna ♪

Say, "I love the black cat."

I love the black cat!

I can't hear you. I love the black cat!

I lovethe black cat.

When I go out, I like to go Dutch.

[ Clicking heels]

Yes, genetics willbe on the final.

Everything we studied this semester will be on the final...

Including what mitosis is.

It's not fair.

We only get three days

to learn a semester's worth of biology.

I guess we were supposed to be learning it all along.

I wish I could read my notes.

Can you decipher this?

"Mitosis is..."

Nope.

I'm doomed.

Look, you can borrow my notes.

We'll get through finals together.

Well, if it isn't the cutest couple

in the sophomore class.

Geez, Libby, you're running out of insults.

No. I'm on the yearbook committee.

I just you'd like to know you've been voted "cutest couple."

I'd like to thank the academy...

You're being very brave about this, Sabrina

considering the curse.

What curse?

Every couple who ever won the award

broke up by the first day of finals.

That's ridiculous.

And sad.

Well, you don't think there's a curse, do you?

No. We're solid as a rock.

Curses belong in fairy tales

along with giant beanstalks and... witches.

Zelda, will you do me a favor and choke on this bread.

What?!

I can't think

of any other way to see my fireman again.

You choke; He heimlichs; We go dancing.

Hilda, it's wrong to distract a fireman

from his public duty.

Hey, I pay taxes.

Oh, thank goodness you're home.

Choke on this.

Gladly.

Stop that!

Is everything okay?

Depends on whether curses are real or not.

Harvey and I got voted the "cutest couple"...

No! Oh, no!

What?

Nothing. She's just excited for you.

And don't you worry about this curse... you're going to be fine.

Really?

Absolutely.

Cool.

Then all I have to worry about is finals.

What are you saying?

You know curses count double for witches.

Yes, but there's nothing Sabrina can do about it.

Knowing just makes it worse.

Curses!

Salem: Hurry up, Sabrina... you'll miss the bus.

Oh. Salem!

Have you seen my biology notes?

Nope. The sports section's lining my box this week.

But I need them.

Chill, little witch.

Just use a "finding" spell in your magic book.

Ah, here we go.

"Finder of lost things, help me find my... enter lost item here."

Oh.

Finder of lost things, help me find my biology notes.

I'm here.

Who are you?

Roland, finder of lost things, local 134.

Nice to meet you.

If you'll just sign this contract

I'll be happy to get to work.

It's really long.

That's just to cover us in the event I get trapped

under something heavy.

There.

Okay.

Stand back, please.

[ Clears throat]

Aha!

I found your notes...

And 50 cents.

Thanks.

Here you go.

Get yourself something nice.

I'm not looking for a gratuity...

Just my standard fee.

What's that? Anything in this room.

It says so right in that contract.

Anything?

Well, I have quite a selection.

How about this lovely paperweight?

I don't need a paperweight.

How's this bed?

Oh, kind of lumpy.

Ooh! I love this clock radio.

Could you hurry up?

I'm late for class.

You know, you're kind of cute when you pout.

Could you just decide?

Okay, I know what I want... you. Me?!

I want your hand in marriage.

I'm only 16.

I know you're kind of old, but... that's okay.

I don't have time to deal with him.

There's a troll in my room; I'll tell you about it later.

Did she say a troll?

Intestinal peristaltic action moves food

through the body, making digestion

both a mechanical andchemical process.

Yes, Jenny.

Did we even study that?

For a week.

Who's that?

Oh, no.

May I help you?

I'm here to see Sabrina... Personal matter.

She's in the middle of class.

I'll wait. Mind if I have a seat?

Uh, he's an actor.

You can catch him at the renaissance fair.

Can we get back to learning?

[ Groans]

How long is the large intestine?

Oh! Oh! Call me! Call me!

Yes?

The large intestine's is over two miles long.

No, it's not.

Yes, it is.

It's five feet Max.

What do youknow? He's the teacher.

I'm telling you...

Human beings do not have four stomachs.

Well, let's open youup

and find out.

Leave me alone!

Tha-that's all for today.

I'm not finished yet.

Who isthat guy?

Oh, it's a really funny story.

I'll tell you about it later.

Got to go.

So, do you want a big wedding or just the family?

We're notgetting married.

Hey, Harvey, come sit with us.

Who's that?

My boyfriend.

"Boyfriend"?

Hi, guys.

Harvey, this is Roland.

Nice to meet you.

Get lost, farm boy.

"Farm boy"? I've never been on a farm in my life.

I find that hard to believe, farm boy.

My name's Harvey.

Harvey, the farm boy.

Why don't you back off?

Why don't you make me?!

It's go time, goober!

I'm not going to fight you.

Ooh, chicken.

[ Clucking]

Thinking of the farm, farm boy?

That's it! Stop!

Roland, quit it and get off the table!

Sabrina, what's going on?

It's a funny story.

I'll tell you

about it later.

Come on. Come on, come on.

I think you could have taken him.

That was surreal.

I have no idea what just happened.

Oh, it's the curse.

I'm afraid you and Sabrina are going down.

Why did we have to be so cute?

Now get in there and no more fights.

Do you understand?

Okay, okay.

Henpecked already...

And I loveit.

Oof! I'm exhausted.

Mind if I make myself comfortable?

So she did say "troll."

Ah...

What's he doing here?

I'll tell you in the kitchen.

Go, go, go, go.

[ Snoring]

So what do I do now?

We'd better call a lawyer.

This contract looks authentic.

Do you know any troll specialists?

We'll look one up in the purple pages.

Stuart clarkson here.

You have a legal emergency?

A troll has asked for my hand in marriage.

Did you sign a contract? Yes.

Did you read the contract? No.

Have a nice wedding. Wait!

You can't go. You have to help us.

But you're asking me to break a legitimate contract.

Isn't that what lawyers do?

Right...

Where is the paper work?

Hopeless...

I am notgetting married.

According to this, you are.

Oh, no!

What?

Ah! Sorry. Misread a word.

It's "dearth," not "death."

Oh, man, I am sweating up a storm.

Do mind if I take off my jacket and pants?

Your pants?

Yes. Well, don't worry.

I'm wearing a four-piece suit.

[ Doorbell chimes]

Hey.

Harvey.

You left in kind of a hurry.

Can I come in and talk?

No!

Um... why don't we just step outside?

Oh, this is nice... The great outdoors.

So, what did you want to talk about?

Who was that guy who tried to beat me up at school today?

Roland? Oh, it's a funny story.

I'll tell you later.

It islater.

Well, he's a friend of my aunts.

That's the funnystory?

I don't tell it very well.

Why do I feel like you're keeping something from me.

I can't really talk about it.

It's too weird.

Sabrina, I'm your boyfriend.

Do you want us to keep secrets from each other?

No.

So, can you tell me who Roland is?

No.

Okay, I'm out of here.

Harvey!

Roland?

Glee club!

Roland, can I talk to you?

Of course.

Communication is the foundation of any marriage.

I'm not marrying you.

Sorry.

I didn't hear you.

I'm not marrying you!

Look, I'm very flattered

that you chose me over a clock radio

but this is not my idea of romance.

Farm boy is?

Yes. Harvey and I happen

to be an award-winning couple.

Even though we're fighting now...

You are? We'll work it out.

Because Harvey and I were meant to be together.

So mylove goes unrequited.

I guess there's

no reason for me to carry on this charade.

You still deserve your fee

for finding my notes.

Want that clock radio?

No.

Can I say something?

I've found a lot of things in my life

but I guess...

I'm still looking for love.

Good-bye.

What did you do to him?

Nothing. I just...

Look, he left his hat.

You'd better take it to him.

It completes his outfit.

I'll be right back. See ya.

Hello?

Roland?

What do youwant?

You forgot your hat.

Who cares?

Look, I'm sorry things didn't work out

the way you planned.

Well, I got to go study.

It's stuck.

No. It's locked.

You're trapped in here forever.

You tricked me?!

Sabrina, I'm a finder, not a loser.

[ Laughs]

Oh, no.

[ Cackling]

So, when should we have the wedding?

Never!

I think June would be better.

You can't keep me here.

Oh, yes, I can.

Faster, faster.

Please, I am dealing with some incredibly big words.

Guys, Sabrina went to return Roland's hat an hour ago

and she hasn't come back yet.

Oh, no! That old troll trick.

And it's perfectly legal.

Took me two days, but I found that needle in a haystack.

Don't you ever talk about anything but work?

[ Knocking]

That must be the wedding coordinator.

My aunts!

You've come

to rescue me?

Actually no, but we're working on getting you out.

Good luck. It's an iron-clad contract.

Yes, but we have a lawyer with... Great legs.

And in the meantime

we brought Sabrina her schoolbooks.

Woo-hoo. I'm engaged to a troll

Andi get to study for finals.

Okay, visiting hours are over.

Once we're family

you're welcome in my house anytime...

But for now, vamoose.

Don't worry.

We'll get you out.

Before Friday

or I'll fail biology.

Forget homework.

You're my Princess now.

I can dress myself.

Hopeless...

O-ho! A buried clause. Is that good?

"The party of the first part

may be rescued by a prince she desires."

This may be the way out.

That's great!

Do we know any princes?

Eh, I'll set up some interviews.

Under "special skills," it says wall climbing?

Oh, that's old.

What about dragon slaying?

Haven't done it in years.

Look, I know I've let myself go

but I think I can handle a troll.

[ Sniffing]

Do I smell pie?

Look, I know 12 different ways

of killing you both without leaving my chair.

So, when do I start?

Isis, you are our most qualified applicant

but we still can't use you.

It's because I'm a womanisn't it?

Well, yes.

That makes me so...!

No. I'm going to save this anger for my support group.

Do you want some juice?

Okay, we are looking for a prince

to save our niece from a troll.

It could involve some swordplay

and there is no guarantee you'll come back alive.

I don't want to die.

Don't cry.

Do you want your mom? Should we get the queen?

Hi. Is Sabrina home?

Oh, no. I'm sorry.

Me, too. Well, when you see her

could you tell her I've thought about it

and I'm willing to accept

whatever weird situation she's in?

That's all. See ya.

Harvey, would you come in for a moment?

Sure.

I... I couldn't help but notice your jacket.

Who is the "termite king"?

My dad.

That's his company.

Which would make you the termite prince.

That's why I'm leaving the area when I go to college.

Will you excuse me?

There's hope! The termite prince

willstand up in a court of troll.

Yes! yeah.

Only problem is Harvey's mortal.

Do we have the fixings for a memory loss potion?

Do we!

I see you two in a gazebo

draped in wistaria...

I'm loving it.

With garlands

in her hair

and yours.

Divine.

[ Chuckling]

I have an idea... why don't you two get married?

[ Snickers]

I see the bride has a case of cold feet.

Oh... poor Sabrina.

Maybe I shouldn't put you

through all the stress of this.

You mean...? Yes.

Let's move the wedding up to tomorrow.

Tomorrow?!

Somebody help me!

Help!

Mmm. Cinnamony.

What we're about to tell you is strange

so I hope you can accept it.

I'm drinking from a chalice in front of a guy with no pants.

I'm trying.

So what's the truth?

Sabrina's a witch, and she's being held by a troll

in his castle and only a prince who she loves can save her.

That's all?

So the quest starts with me going throughthe linen closet.

Yes. Wait.

Your clothes are all wrong.

I don't have to dress like this forever, do I?

No. Just until you vanquish the troll.

I couldn't vanquish the troll in pants?

Sabrina! harvey?

Sabrina!

Harvey!

How's it going?

What are you doing here?

I'm supposed to vanquish the troll.

Oh. Come on up!

I can't. The door is locked.

There must be a way.

We have to think fairy tale.

I've got it.

[ Grunts]

Harvey, climb up my hair.

You're okay with that?

Yeah. Just don't split any ends.

[ Spitting]

Al...

Most...

There.

Hurry up.

Ah, made it.

My prince has come.

You look great with long hair.

Eh, it's a lot of upkeep.

Let me look at you.

So, I guess this means

you know how weird my life is?

Your aunts told me.

I figured as much when I saw you in tights.

They're kind of bunching on me.

Roland: Sweetheart, look what

the Billy goats sent us!

Quick, hide!

I've got to get rid of this hair.

It's a blender.

What's he doing here?

Oh. Right, you're good at finding things.

Where's my sword?

Where's my sword!?

Aha!

Found it!

Sabrina, what do I do?

Draw yoursword.

Now, what do I do? Use it!

[ Grunting]

Take... that!

Take it back!

Watch out!

Time out. Time out.

Time in.

Where'd he go?

To your left!

Over here, farm boy.

I hate that name.

Don't worry, Harvey; Here comes the air support.

Honey! That almost hit me.

What are you doing?!

Hey, I'm dueling down here!

[ Sinister laughter]

You've taken your last

breath!

My aim is true.

Bull's-eye!

And to think I complained

about lugging that around all year.

Harvey?

Harvey.

What happened?

Sabrina, did you do this to me?

Sorry, Roland, but consider yourself vanquished.

You're a very complicated woman

and more trouble

than you're worth.

The marriage is off.

And if anyone asks, idumped you.

We did it.

Let's frolic.

Wait! What day is it?

Thursday.

We've got our biology test tomorrow.

We've got to study.

Move it!

Sabrina, you're back!

Harvey saved me, and now he knows everything.

Yep. Sabrina's a witch; You're a witch;

your sister's a witch.

It all makes sense.

But only for 15 more seconds.

Then the knowledge

will be erased from his memory forever.

But I like it like this.

We have no secrets from each other

then, for the next five seconds, you have a perfect relationship.

Well, that doesn't give me much time

but I always knew

there was something magical about you Sabrina, and now...

What was I saying?

Uh, you were telling me what mitosis is.

Right.

What is it?

And initial here.

I found this pen, you know.

Sabrina is now free and clear to marry whoever she wants.

In return, you are entitled to her clock radio.

I didn't really want it.

I just took it to hurt her.

It's the first day of finals.

What are you two doing holding hands?

We survived the curse.

How?

It's a funny story.

I'll tell you about it later.

You have 50 minutes.

Don't start until everyone

has a test.

Sabrina, good luck.

You, too, and don't forget...

Mitosis is...

You may begin.

The process

of cell division.

Sabrina, we have a surprise.

Since you did so well on your finals

we think you deserve a reward.

I've been thinking that, too.

So, where are we going?

Tony roma's?

No.

What's going on?

It's an around-the-world tour

available only to witches who ace biology.

And their relatives.

First stop, Spain.

Ole!

They left me behind.

Be strong. Don't cry.

[ Crying]

I can't believe we almost forgot you.

What? Had you left?

Yes. Now we have to catch up

with the others.

Ole!