Original subtitles

What do you want to see your master for?

I'd still like to ask him

whether the Purple Regnal Star is genuine

Even if you managed to ask him now, it's too late

No it's not late, Your Majesty

If that old frizzy hair was really speaking nonsense

he owes me an indestructible diamond body

so I can get through those fifty beatings

You sure have guts

Fancy dropping all courtesies toward your immortal master

If he pranked me

why should I be courteous with him, right?

Of course, that rule doesn't apply to you, Your Majesty

Zhang Tang

Yes, Your Majesty

Tell your charges to get ready

Get the biggest plank there is

Yes, Your Majesty

Mr. Zhang

Greetings, Your Majesty

- Take your seat. - Thank you, Your Majesty

Your Majesty, it's already midnight

My men

since it's time

- let's start stargazing. - Yes, Your Majesty. - Yes, Your Majesty

Where is Dongfang Shuo?

His Majesty ordered Dongfang Shuo to come along

Your Majesty

- He fled away. - Fled away?

- Zhang Tang. - Yes, Your Majesty

Hunt him down. Bring him here as soon as you find him

Understood

Dongfang Shuo!

Mr. Zhang

You wanna run away?

Run away?

Cut the crap! Get him!

Wait, who wants to run away?

Come on!

Be gentle!

Your Majesty

I got Dongfang Shuo on his way to escape

Your Majesty, I didn't! I didn't try to escape!

Then what were you trying to do?

It was the sudden call of nature

I wanted to answer it in secret

while Mr. Zhang stopped me by force

- So I… - Dongfang Shuo!

It's midnight, and where are your Purple Regnal Stars?

It's already midnight?

Yeah, it is

Mr. Dongfang

Is it?

- Then where are the Purple Regnal Stars? - Who are you asking?

You guys, of course!

Have you seen the Purple Regnal Stars?

Dongfang Shuo, stop pretending!

Your Purple Regnal Stars

realized it was past midnight

and all went back to sleep

No

Purple Regnal Stars are not human. They don't need to sleep

Stop playing the fool

Your Majesty, Dongfang Shuo has lost

- Please order Mr. Zhang to execute him right away. - Yes!

- Dongfang Shuo. - Yes, Your Majesty

What else do you want to say?

Your Majesty, it's not time yet

It's already

- past midnight! - No!

My master clearly told me

the Purple Regnal Stars would show up around midnight

Around midnight

means twelve o'clock to one o'clock

So, Your Majesty

so long as the Purple Regnal Stars appear before o'clock

I shouldn't be counted as a loser

Your Majesty, he's trying to make an excuse

Dongfang Shuo

has got a point

Your Majesty, you are so biased in Dongfang Shuo's favor

- I think I should take my leave. - You can't go, High Priest

Your Majesty, an emperor is a man of his word

If you don't punish Dongfang Shuo

I'm afraid the gods in heaven will sneer at us

hindering your great cause

Exactly, Your Majesty

I don't need your bullshit

- Zhang Tang. - At your command, Your Majesty

Guards! Hit him with boards!

Your Majesty, it's not time yet!

It's already past time

No!

Purple Regnal Star!

Look! A Purple Regnal Star is up there! Your Majesty!

- And there's one more in this direction! - Look, everybody!

The Purple Regnal Stars!

That way!

Look, Your Majesty! There's one up there!

- There! And also there! - Yes!

Come to take a look, Your Majesty!

Look, Your Majesty! The Purple Regnal Stars showed up!

They are coming down

Your Majesty, they are all coming down

Your Majesty

Well… My master, Taishang Laojun

must have forgotten to inform me of that

Your Majesty, this view is such an unprecedented blessing

It implies that

you are an unparalleled emperor of all time

Indeed…

Congratulations, Your Majesty

Hold on

Your Majesty, for what happened today

whether it's because Li Shaojun's master forgot it

or it's because something else went wrong

I won, anyway

- Yes, Dongfang Shuo won. - Thank you, Your Majesty

Mr. Zhang, aren't you supposed to punish and hit Li Shaojun?

- Guards! Hit him with boards! - Yes, sir! - Yes, sir

Hold on, hold on!

Your Majesty, everybody

since Li Shaojun

has an unbreakable immortal body

that means

- no matter how hard you beat him, he won't feel pain. - Exactly

With his immortal body that doesn't feel pain

- he won't yowl for sure. - Exactly

Mr. Zhang

when you hit Li Shaojun with boards later

what if he wails?

Then he's a fake!

Then what should Li Shaojun be convicted of if he's a fake immortal?

The capital crime of deceiving the Emperor

Your Majesty, High Priest Li missed this grand occasion

due to his master's negligence

Besides, the first three prophecies all came true

Could you please let it go this time?

You can let Li Shaojun make you a few batches of elixirs

- to make up for it. - Yes…

Qiankunzi! What the heck are you talking about?

Elixirs are elixirs, and bets are bets

It's not the same thing!

Dongfang Shuo!

Why don't you spare him instead of being so pushy?

Don't go to extremes

Fine

How about this?

Your Majesty, so long as Li Shaojun

is willing to admit that he's a fake immortal in public

and he came specifically to defraud the Emperor

I will let him go

As for how you will handle Mr. Li

it's up to you, Your Majesty

High Priest

did you hear what Dongfang Shuo said?

I did, Your Majesty

I am a genuine immortal

Mr. Zhang, do it!

- Guards! Give him 50 heavy strokes! - Yes, sir!

Hit!

One!

Two!

Three!

Four!

Five!

Six!

Seven!

Eight!

Nine!

Ten!

Your Majesty, Li Shaojun has fainted

Your Majesty

maybe Mr. Li enjoyed those strokes so much

that he fell asleep

How many strokes are left?

Your Majesty, there are 20 strokes to go

Your Majesty, shall we continue to hit him or not?

- Dongfang. - Yes, Your Majesty

You are the one who Li Shaojun made a bet with

What's your opinion?

Then…

- Stop hitting him. - You!

His Majesty was reluctant to kill Li Shaojun

If I forced His Majesty to put Li Shaojun to death in public

in the end, I would die

instead of him. Do you believe me?

I really don't understand His Majesty

Why does he keep

such a wicked man like Li Shaojun?

His Majesty uses people

based on their obedience and functions

What's the use of such an imposter like Li Shaojun?

Does His Majesty want him to keep making elixirs?

Not really

At present, His Majesty

is dying for immortality

He'd rather believe that Li Shaojun

is an immortal than doubt it

Then tell me about how Li Shaojun is doing now

Your Majesty, Li Shaojun has regained consciousness this morning

So he is really a fake immortal

He passed out just after a few strokes?

Your Majesty, I've asked Li Shaojun about it

He claimed that he wasn't knocked unconscious

Instead, his soul ascended to heaven

and he reported what happened last night to Taishang Laojun

Even if it's true

then what about those flying lit lanterns?

I carefully investigated those remaining bamboo frames

as well as that shredded fabric

I just thought it might be a lantern

So the next evening

I asked Jing Kui's disciples

ambush in the woods

who saw it clearly

- As expected, that was a lantern. - Lantern?

How could a lantern fly up to the sky?

I also couldn't

figure it out in the first place

But later, I just decided

to ask Mr. Jing to get that young sorcerer

who set off lanterns on the third night

That young sorcerer held an alternate lantern in his hands

I had some adept basket-makers

copy one in no time

Then I tried to set it off, it could really fly

Brother Gan, I held the lantern and observe

I immediately understood why

A normal lantern

has a hole in the top of it, right?

It's for ventilation. But the lantern made by Li Shaojun

blocked the hole thoroughly

And then they lit a candle

So inside the lantern was a huge billow of hot air

Heat is lighter than air

It's even lighter in cold air

So the lantern flew up

What a useless gimmick. Only His Majesty would be fooled

Not really

It can come in handy in war

Especially when we signal at night

it's much more useful than ignition

Your Majesty, what we saw the first three nights

was the real Purple Regnal Star

Only on the fourth night

Dongfang Shuo messed around with the flying lit lanterns

Dongfang Shuo is up to something, Your Majesty

Then what do you think he wants?

He wants to stop you from conquering the Xiongnu

and offering sacrifices to heaven and earth at Mount Tai

Qiankunzi

Yes, Your Majesty

According to what you just said

Li Shaojun didn't faint

during the beatings

but his soul went to heaven with his body left in the mortal world

This is good. You can spread this story

Understood

Besides

you should go back to tell Li Shaojun

to behave himself and make elixirs in the alchemy room

If Dongfang Shuo is indeed a young Chunyang Taoist immortal from heaven

Li Shaojun is no match for him

Understood

His Majesty is not a fool

He knows everything

But why didn't he do anything to Li Shaojun?

He protects Li Shaojun for his own safety

He has to continue to believe that Li Shaojun is a god

Otherwise, he'll lose his face

And also that Qiankunzi!

His Majesty should have known

that this rascal is stirring things up and deceiving him

You are wrong

Dongfang Shuo is absolutely loyal to His Majesty, isn't he?

But he's made too many achievements, tending to outshine who he works for

Seeing his amazing progress

of course, His Majesty would develop a fear of being unable to control him

A tiger, a king of the mountain, can't stand to be coveted by his own kind

So, the best solution

is to keep another beast

to fight the extra tiger

Qiankunzi is the beast raised by His Majesty

Your Majesty, Mr. Dongfang is here

Greetings, Your Majesty

You can fool the others with your tricks

but not me

- You are so wise, Your Majesty. - Of course I am

You've been showing respect for me

and making my way much easier

If I still didn't understand your kindness

I would literally be an incapable emperor!

Actually

you are the one who's really wise

You, Dongfang Shuo, a pretentious smarty

who can cause a stir easily

I'm guilty

You are guilty?

You are guilty as hell!

These days

I have taken quite a lot of Li Shaojun's elixirs

Now I can not only hear and see better

I feel even more

quick-witted than before

No one can get away with

playing tricks in front of me. No one

I'm sinful

Then do you know what punishment I want to give you?

Yes

Say it

Your Majesty, you want me to reconcile with Qiankunzi

and assist you to accomplish the great cause together

How do you know that I don't want to kill you?

Because

you still need me to do something

And also because when I came in

I saw Qiankunzi waiting out there, too

Your Majesty, Mr. Qiankun is here

Greetings, Your Majesty

- Rise, you two. - Thank you, Your Majesty. - Thank you, Your Majesty

Tell me which one of you is older

Your Majesty

Dongfang Shuo is the same age as me

He's just two months older

Good

You are fellow villagers

classmates, and colleagues at the imperial court of the same age

And both of you are my sidekicks

What a rare fate

But I just don't understand

You were supposed to be closer than friends

But why are you at daggers drawn with each other?

You make my imperial court

your ground to fight and corner each other

It's my fault. Please punish me, Your Majesty

Speaking of punishment

given what you've done

even if I let Zhang Tang take you out

for execution without questioning or interrogating you

- it won't be a wrong conviction. - Yes, Your Majesty

- Get up first. - Thank you, Your Majesty

But I don't want to kill people

All I want is the national prosperity and peace

And you

should work together to help me with my great cause

I understand. I swear

I won't fight Dongfang Shuo ever again

Dongfang Shuo

what about you?

I will listen to you, Your Majesty

Good

Since the two of you have given me your word

I will spare you this time

But from now on

I will show no mercy on any one of you

who still acts like before

- Thank you, Your Majesty. - Thank you, Your Majesty

Hurry!

You're so ungrateful

Our lord's got a crush on your sister

and wanted to make her his concubine

It's an unimaginably great blessing for her

How dare you turn him down?

What the hell does Zhang Jinshan think he is?

He's been using his filthy money

to collude with the local government and run roughshod in the village

An old jerk in his sixties

still sexually harasses women frequently

Guys!

Let's go!

Kill the man and take the girl alive

Stop!

How dare you hit me?

I did, so what?

Brat, don't run away if you've got the guts! Just you wait!

I will teach you a lesson later!

I'm Zhu Wan, and this is my younger sister, Zhu Wen

We live in the Zhu Mansion in Tianshui

Our parents died when we were kids

My sister and I grew up together

That Zhang Jinshan is a bully in the county

He went to the village for an outing

and ran into Zhu Wen when she was washing clothes

And then he got someone asking my sister

to marry him and be his concubine

My sister said no

Then they tried to make it by force

I heard about that

and took my sister to run away overnight

Unexpectedly

they still caught up with us

But we were so lucky that you saved us

Otherwise, the two of us would have been murdered by them

Yes, you saved us

Could you please tell us what we should call you?

My name is Jing Kui

Just call me that

I don't mind

Come on, sis

Sir, please accept our kowtow of gratitude

It's okay. Don't mention it

- So what are your plans for the future? - We…

How about this?

You can come and lodge in my house for a few days

Take your time to work out a good plan. Alright?

Mr. Jing

please take us in

We're willing to follow you for the rest of our lives

Please, Mr. Jing

We have no other way out. Please take us in

OK

Your Majesty, here we go

Hold on

I summoned you today

- to amuse me. - Yes

However, I've been

feeling lost recently

So you must make me laugh today

Your Majesty, whether you will laugh or not

depends on my capabilities

as well as your cooperation

If you keep pulling a long face

even if I use every last one of my faculties

it won't work anyway

If I don't laugh, you should try everything to entertain me

and make me laugh

Well…

Then, Your Majesty, please spare me today

- I lost. - No way

Yi

Yes, Your Majesty

If Dongfang Shuo fails to make me laugh today

you can have his salary this month

Thank you, Your Majesty

No…

Your Majesty, my family is already running out of money

Your Majesty

what if I make you laugh today?

Then I will reward you with 100 taels of gold

Thank you, Your Majesty!

Your Majesty, you just smiled

Yeah, I did smile

But, Your Majesty, I noticed something just now

You laughed when you saw this face

And you stopped with your smile fading

when you saw this one

Why?

Because that long face is not funny

That's right

Didn't you just say

you always felt lost recently?

In my opinion

just because the imperial court

is awash with smiling faces like this

you feel uneasy at the sight of them

You are playing petty tricks again

I know what's on your mind

Do you plan to

recommend a straight-faced official to me again?

Your Majesty, there's no need for a new recommendation. We already have one

But you have banished him from the imperial court

- Do you mean Ming Fei? - Exactly

Ming Fei's face

is seven more annoying than the one in your hand

I can't believe he compared me to Qin Shi Huang

openly at the imperial court

- Your Majesty, he was right. - How dare you?

Please calm down, Your Majesty

Your Majesty, please be calm

Let me explain it to you

Qin Shi Huang ascended the throne at a young age

having a hard time growing up under the pressure

from Lü Buwei and Queen Dowager Zhao

But he worked diligently and strived for success

Finally, one day, he brought down the Empress Dowager Zhao and Lü Buwei

And then, he successfully unified the six states

to be the first Emperor

Your Majesty, in fact, many of your experiences

are similar to his

But Qin Shi Huang was a tyrant

The tyranny of the pseudo-Qin Dynasty is notorious

So the kingdom passed on to his heir was destroyed by our Emperor Gaozu

That's why Ming Fei's face

is a constant reminder to you

of being as ambitious

and perseverant as Qin Shi Huang

Instead of being

indulged in success and headstrong like him

It makes sense

- Yi. - Yes, Your Majesty

Give him a hundred taels of gold

Thank you for your grace, Your Majesty

Your Majesty, the Xiongnu have successfully survived the famine

marching to our border south of the Gobi Desert

Please make a decision as soon as possible, Your Majesty

Your Majesty

it has been four years since the imperial court issued

the salt and iron monopoly system

Now we have a rich national treasury and a strong army

It's the best time to destroy the foreign threat and the Xiongnu for good

Therefore, I implore you to issue a decree

to fight a decisive battle with the Xiongnu

Your Majesty, I think

since the Xiongnu have the intention of attacking our border

we must fight head-on

However, it's an old way to fight when attacked

So we should work out a new strategy

to achieve our goal in one battle

What Wei Qing reported can be the main topic of today's discussion

Dongfang Shuo

His Majesty summoned Dongfang Shuo

Your Majesty, I guess Dongfang Shuo is feeling under the weather

and taking the day off

Your Majesty!

Greetings, Your Majesty

Zhang Qian!

Zhang Qian…

Your Majesty

You are finally back, Zhang Qian

Your Majesty, I got back too late

It's been over a decade

I thought you were long gone

I didn't expect that

You'd still keep your promise

You're such a loyal official

After I escaped from the Xiongnu

to fulfill your mission

Tangyi Fu and I

tried hard to make our way to the states west of the Xiongnu

including Kangju, the Greater Yuezhi, and Dayuan

Have you met the kings of these small states?

Although the two of us brought nothing

but our horses

the states of the Western Regions

all treated us, the envoys from the Great Han, with respect

Especially the Greater Yuezhi

Their king is a woman

They have long been fed up with the oppression of the Xiongnu

Hearing that we'd like to join hands with them to attack the Xiongnu

- she couldn't be more delighted. - Good

Then, Mr. Zhang, apart from the Greater Yuezhi

have you been anywhere else?

We've also been to Dayuan to the west of the Greater Yuezhi

where they breed abundant steeds

Their king also gave us two horses

Tangyi Fu and I rode the horses and returned in one month

Mr. Zhang, where are the horses? Where are they now?

General Wei once worked as a groom

No wonder he's so excited when it comes to horses

You are right, Mr. Qiankun

I grew up as a slave raising horses

- I never thought about hiding it. - Yeah

Mr. Wei would rather be friends with a nice horse

than mess with those unscrupulous gits

What are you two talking about?

We're joking

Just kidding

Come on, Qubing

Qubing, you've finished your meal?

Yes, Godmother

Take your seat

OK

let's continue

If His Majesty asks you

how would you answer him?

What would you do, Godfather?

I'm asking you

I'm trying to impress His Majesty with you

This time, I am going to

make His Majesty appoint you as Vanguard General

Well, Godfather

Why do the Xiongnu always attack us?

Because we have fixed cities

They are fixed targets

Then don't the Xiongnu have a fixed lair

They do. Their capital is in the north of the Gobi Desert

Exactly! Why can't we split up

to attack head-on in one direction

and bypass all the way to attack its lair directly in another

striking a fatal blow to their heart?

- Greetings, Your Majesty. - Greetings, Your Majesty

- Rise and sit down. - Thank you, Your Majesty. - Thank you, Your Majesty

Well

Wei Qing made a good point at the imperial court yesterday

We should conquer the Xiongnu

not only by the old way of rolling with the punches

There should be a brand-new strategy to win by surprise

And you are my brain trust

I'd like to know

if there are any brilliant plans you've worked out for me

Your Majesty

Zhang Qian's return is so exhilarating

And I'm also glad to hear that you are about to send our soldiers to war

I couldn't be happier that you wanted me to put forward good plans

Cut the crap. Just tell me your plan

Your Majesty, my godson, General Huo Qubing

has come up with a plan for you

Tell me about it

Yes, Your Majesty

Your Majesty, here's my plan

Since Zhang Qian and Tangyi Fu

are familiar with the terrains in the Western Regions

then we can split the Great Han Army in two

for a two-way attack

Wait, why do you mean by "two-way attack"?

Let me explain, Your Majesty

One force shall go all the way north from Daizhou

To fight the Xiongnu head-on

Use the formation of Spiked Wagons to fight steadily

and advance step by step, day by day

The other troop shall pass through Hexi Corridor in secret

and turn around in the Western Regions

to show up behind the Xiongnu all of a sudden

Caught in a two-pronged attack, the Xiongnu will surely be in disarray

Our Han Army can win a complete victory in this way

Your Majesty, it is such a brilliant idea!

Marvelous

We have been racking our brains for days with no letup

while we failed to come up with any ideas

Your idea is so enlightening, Your Majesty!

All the civil and military officials together are no match for you at all

- Your Majesty! You are such an insightful and great Emperor! - Indeed!

This is

such an unprecedentedly smart plan!

Your Majesty, I'd like to pay homage to you

and express my gratitude for the great grace of your teaching!

All right

Everyone

since you have no objection to my plan

Then that's it

the whole state shall fight to get rid of the Xiongnu and border threats

- You are so wise, Your Majesty! - You are so wise, Your Majesty!

Mr. Qiankun, you took credit for someone else's work

in such a clever and secret way

and accredited this strategy to His Majesty

Did you see Dongfang Shuo's depressed face?

He must feel pretty bad

But Dongfang Shuo won't die of wrath

How is your arrangement going?

It's going smoothly

The two of them have completely won Jing Kui's trust

- and become his trusted men. - Nice!

And this time

we can take advantage of His Majesty's troops

The time we've been waiting for has come

I will definitely make Dongfang Shuo…

My lord

- My lord. - What's the matter?

I was searching everywhere for you

Don't you see me drinking with Defender-in-chief now?

My lord, Mr. Yang has passed on a decree

His Majesty is summoning you

I summoned you here to ask

for your opinion on the candidates for the Grand Herald

I guess

you want to appoint Dongfang Shuo. Am I right, Your Majesty?

How do you know I will appoint Dongfang Shuo?

Your Majesty!

If Dongfang Shuo is not considered as one of the leaders of the army

I have nothing else to say

But if you've thought about using him

with all due respect, I have a suggestion for you, Your Majesty

Go ahead

I have heard Dongfang Shuo spreading the word

that he's bound to be the Grand Herald on this expedition

Why is he so sure?

He claimed to be the actual designer of that brilliant plan

and said only he

could command the 200,000 former Jingchu soldiers

Did he really say that?

Yes, Your Majesty…

Of course, Your Majesty, if you ask him

he won't admit it for sure

This git is no more than a backstabber

So I think

you can't let Dongfang Shuo take command no matter what

However, these 200,000 Jingchu soldiers

have to be led by Princess Liu Nan

Why?

For one thing

Princess Liu Nan is the former leader of the Jingchu Army

They trust her

This is conducive to her command and control

For another

Princess Liu Nan is your cousin

The bloodline is unbreakable

You're family after all

So it is safe for you and the kingdom

Of course, Princess Liu Nan is Dongfang Shuo's second wife

So for absolute safety

you must send an army supervisor

to Princess Liu Nan

to keep an eye on those unruly Jingchu soldiers

On this expedition, who do you think

can be the commander-in-chief except me?

Your sworn brother, Wei Qing

Marquis of Guannei, Wei Qing

I thought you wanted to be it yourself

Yeah

I've been longing for it for years

But His Majesty

won't rest assured if I lead this army of hundreds of thousands of soldiers

You are killing the enemy for His Majesty!

But His Majesty will ask

Dongfang Shuo!

Tell me!

Do you want to do meritorious deeds at the front line

to pave your way to the position of Prime Minister?

What's wrong with that?

Why can't you be the Prime Minister?

He is the Emperor

He can also be narrow-minded sometimes

Even if I can't be the Grand Herald this time

At least I'm qualified to be the military advisor, right?

Listen to my order, Wei Qing

Yes, Your Majesty

I appoint you as Grand Herald

You shall lead the five generals

including Li Guang, Su Jian, Jing Kui, Gan Qi, and Zhao Cigong

as well as the 200,000 soldiers to march northward

and fight the main Xiongnu force

Yes, Your Majesty

Huo Qubing

Yes, Your Majesty

I appoint you as West Vanguard

You shall lead 100,000 elite warriors

and the four generals including Gan Fu, Tai Xiao, Zhang Qian, and Tangyi Fu

to set off from Hexi, go through the Western Regions

and then detour to the rear of the main Xiongnu force

You shall annihilate the Xiongnu by a pincer movement!

Yes, Your Majesty!

- Qiankunzi. - Yes, Your Majesty

I appoint you as army supervisor

You shall leave with Wei Qing's troops

Keep me posted on the frontline

and pass on my decrees in time to the soldiers on the front line

Yes, Your Majesty!

Wang Huai'e

Yes, Your Majesty

I appoint you as army provisions supervisor

responsible for collecting and delivering rations and forage in Chang'an

Yes, Your Majesty!

Everybody, what else do you want to say?

I have something to report

Go ahead