Original subtitles

Greetings, Your Majesty. I am Li Shaojun

Are you the Taoist who personally witnessed the immortal?

Your Majesty

I did see the immortal

but failed to invite him to Chang'an

Please forgive me, Your Majesty

Then tell me

which immortal did you see?

It was my master, Taishang Laojun, known as Li Laojun

As his disciple, I am called Li Shaojun

So this footprint is your master's?

That it is

If it is indeed Taishang Laojun's footprint

then what an auspicious sign it is

Your Majesty

With regard to the immortal's footprint

may I have a look?

Of course, you're knowledgeable

so just as well that you review it for me

and see if it's a genuine immortal's footprint

Thanks, Your Majesty

Odd

Somehow, the more I look at it, the less it seems like a human footprint

but rather…

Rather what?

I wonder if I should say it out

Just lay it all out

The more I see it

the more it looks like a donkey's hoof print

Brother Dongfang, you have discerning eyes indeed

What now, do you know each other?

Not only that

but we're also very familiar with each other

Once I hear his voice

I know it's Brother Dongfang

Sage Li, so you're just like me

who started out peddling tricks

Your Majesty

Two hundred years ago

I participated in Wangmu Niangniang's peach banquet gathering

and that's where I saw sir Dongfang

Back then, he held the saber of Huode Xingjun, the Moral Flame Immortal

- A saber porter? - Aye

- Was I not a halberdier? - Nay

But as I remember

his post was a halberdier

Dongfang Shuo, don't interrupt. Let Li Shaojun speak

Your Majesty

that time, Dongfang Shuo had a moment of lust

his eyes transfixed on the dancing fairies

He then accidentally let the immortal's saber fall to the ground

nearly missing the immortal's foot

The immortal was enraged

and reported you to the Jade Emperor, banishing you to the mortal realm

to experience all these years of suffering

Naturally, you'd have forgotten some details, Brother Dongfang

I'd never thought

that in my past life, I was a pervert back in heaven

A pervert

who committed a crime of lust. Rough, just wretched!

Brother, don't feel bad

You're not the only lusty immortal out there

Shaojun

Tell me

What made Taishang Zhenren come this time?

Your Majesty

Taishang Zhenren has known

that the deigned ruler of the world lies in the Great Han

who plans to pacify the lands and subdue the seas

I have thus come to lend Your Majesty a hand in the cause

So that means the immortals in heaven know me?

Your Majesty, you're not a mortal to begin with

You came from Huode Xingjun's Palace in the upper realm

a crimson dragon of the holy flame

then sent to the mortal realm to steward the people, Your Majesty

It is just as you said

The night my mother conceived me

she dreamed of a crimson dragon entering her bosom

Shaojun

Did Taishang Laojun really send you

to help me establish a hegemony?

Nay

The ones supporting you to establish that

are the many able and wise ministers

such as Brother Dongfang and Lord Qiankun

They are Your Majesty's loyal and wise aides

I have come

only to make Your Majesty gain immortality

May our Great Han prosper forevermore!

Immortality?

Alright

Shaojun, I wish to keep you in the palace

I wonder if you would oblige

I would not dare defy orders

But for my current sojourn

- I still have a special mission. - What mission?

It's to help Brother Dongfang regain his memory

With him working in tandem

we shall certainly rectify Your Majesty's constitution

to achieve true longevity

- Dongfang Shuo. - Yes, Your Majesty

I decree that you join hands with Li Shaojun

to regain your memory and help me achieve longevity

Your Majesty, would you just spare me?

What are you talking about? I didn't say I'm punishing you

I would rather accept Your Majesty's punishment

than have to regain my memory

Are you defying the edict then?

No, Your Majesty, you must've misunderstood me

Just now, Sage Li said

that in my past life, I was a lusty pervert back in heaven

Luckily, I was banished to the mortal realm

turned over a new leaf, and have now become a new man

Now

I have married a missus, and a wife

This system of one missus, one wife

is already very agreeable to me

I truly do not wish to have any other wayward thoughts

If you must make me regain my memory, Your Majesty

wouldn't I be reverting to the past

becoming a lusty pervert again?

Then… then first of all

my two wives won't have it

so I beseech Your Majesty to make an exception

No

You must regain your memory

As for Liu Nan and Qiu Gu

you need only write a letter of guarantee

I'll ask them to let bygones be bygones

I thank you, Your Majesty

Your Majesty, I have something for you to see as well

Qiankunzi

You have a treasure to present to me too?

Your Majesty, please have a look

A ding

Where did it come from, Qiankunzi?

Your Majesty, I have been collecting antiques for nearly a decade

and it's only recently that I obtained this in the bazaar

It's one of the dings from the Nine Tripod Cauldrons of the Great Yu

It wouldn't have appeared

if we're not in times of peace and prosperity

Could it be that the heavens are looking after me

and have allowed a multitude of divine things to show up?

Your Majesty

we just had an immortal's footprint and now there's a sacred ding

The Crown Prince is enthroned, a new epoch beckons

Truly, various aspicious signs just keep cropping up

These are all good omens signifying an emperor for the ages

Good omens indeed

Alas, Sima Xiangru is no more

Otherwise

he'd definitely present me with a glorious prose

Your Majesty, you don't say

Yesterday, I coincidentally came across

Sima Xiangru's widow, Zhuo Wenjun

I asked her if Sima Xiangru left behind any works

Zhuo Wenjun said that

before her husband passed away

he did write an essay

and one to be presented to Your Majesty at that

Wondrous, wondrous indeed

Your Majesty, what did Academician Sima describe?

Courtier Sima shared the same thought I had in my earlier years

He urged me to offer sacrifices to heaven as Qin Shi Huang did

Enact a grand ceremonial ritual and ask for celestial protection

He said, so long as a grand ceremony is performed

I shall become an emperor for the ages

I often thought as much

- Your Majesty. - Courtier Ming

Don't tell me you have something to present to me too?

Your Majesty

I, Ming Fei, being of no merit, have found no treasure

But I have earnest words to present to Your Majesty

Earnest words? Speak

Your Majesty, all these immortals, relics and stuff

Such brazen claims could only have come from immortals or the devil

Qin Shi Huang's extravagant grand rituals back then

not only did not ensure the immortalization of his dynasty

but instead it caused the land to wither, leaving the people destitute

So much so that Chen She and the rest took up arms

ending the Qin dynasty in its second generation

Your Majesty, to become an emperor for the ages

you must not rush into believing devilish words

and repeat the Qin Emperor's mistake

Impudence!

Given today's auspicious occasion

how dare you spit such venom at me!

You looking to die?

Even if I must die

I cannot allow Your Majesty to be taken in by devilish talk

and mislead the nation

Your Majesty

Let's say I'm a charlatan deceiving the audience

but how about the crimson dragon dream His Majesty spoke of?

- Is that a lie too? - Yeah

Your Majesty, I traveled to various regions here on Master's orders

I saw grains in abundance and boisterous livestock

Businesses flourish and the people are secure

Lord Ming, let me ask you

Have you seen such a peaceful and booming scene in the past?

It's unprecedented

Our Great Han meets Songliao in the north and Wuyue in the south

flanked by the ocean in the east and the Gobi in the west

Let me ask you again, Lord Ming

Which emperor from any dynasty and era

had established such a vast territory?

That is unprecedented too

Since the Zhou and Qin dynasties

the Xiongnu riders have run rampant near the borders, causing strife

Emperors of the past

either ceded land as payment or sent women to reconcile

My third question, Lord Ming. Before our current emperor

which emperor in the past had dared fight the Xiongnu

and defeated them numerous times?

It's unprecedented

That being the case

as a core minister

you deigned not to sing praises of His Majesty's prowess

and instead nitpicked His Majesty

going so far as mentioning the celestial dragon incarnate

in the same breath as that brute Qin Shi Huang

Again I ask you, Lord Ming

- what was your motive? - Speak

Your Majesty, Ming Fei committed high treason and attacked you

He should be decapitated instantly to set a deterrent

No way!

Ming Fei is a censor

and remonstrating is his duty

Even if he misspoke at times, it is not a capital crime

Furthermore

Your Majesty

today is an auspicious occasion

Wanton killing will offend the flow of things

Your Majesty

decapitating Ming Fei on an auspicious day is offensive indeed

I beseech Your Majesty to evict Ming Fei out of Chang'an permanently

OK

In consideration of the various core ministers I'll spare your life

You are to leave Chang'an by today

and cannot return without my summons

Guards, take him

Lord Ming

Lord Ming

Harder

What's this Li Shaojun on about?

To think he actually

told His Majesty upright that Dongfang Shuo was some immortal

No need to worry, Lord Wang

It's all according to the plan I set up beforehand

You set it up?

That Li Shaojun

isn't a match for Dongfang Shuo by any means

His petty ideas

can be unraveled by Dongfang Shuo in no time

So I prepared in advance

and set up this talk of Dongfang Shuo being an immortal too

The aim was to rope him in

Of course

it'd be best if that could shut his mouth

But even if it didn't

the ongoing fracas surrounding these make-believe and truths

would at least make His Majesty lose focus

Luckily, this Li Shaojun

is quite witty with his tongue

From all the back and forth, seems like he has some skills

Pah

Sure, this Li Shaojun can boast and bluff

But his debating skills

are worth nothing

I taught him what to speak down to every phrase, every word

But I still can't help but worry

What about?

When you look at Li Shaojun

his every movement shows that he's one mean guy

If he receives His Majesty's favor and trust

and refuses to obey us, what do we do?

Lord Wang

good observation

But relax

I know a way to subdue him

Go on

why are you convinced that he's a fake immortal?

I've never seen a real immortal in this world

But his point about me being the crimson dragon incarnate

is spot on

Your Majesty, in terms of his soothsaying craft

he really isn't at my level

I practically extract every story detail from my customers

Whereas him?

He spoke of a piece of Your Majesty's history known to everyone

But I think

immortals really do exist

Otherwise, how do you explain Emperor Gaozu slaying the white serpent

and the rumor that my grandfather had known about my mother

carrying the crimson dragon before giving birth to me?

I just want to verify

if Li Shaojun is a real immortal

If he's a fraud like that Xu Fu

and Sima Qian wrote that about me in the annals of history

that'd be ridiculous

If Your Majesty thinks he's real, then he is

If you think he's fake, then he is

Nonsense

Real is real, fake is fake

How can my thoughts decide that?

Then observe him for a while more

The saying goes, true gold fears no trials by fire

One's authenticity

can only be tried by the fire of time

That's why

I'll await the day he produces an immortal pill

then all will be known

Shuo, for such a clever person as His Majesty

how can he believe Li Shaojun?

A man's weakness lies in his desires

Which emperor doesn't want to live long?

That's true

Back then, in his quest for longevity techniques, Qin Shi Huang

threw away his entire possession

And for what? Only to die halfway through

What's the use?

Subsequent emperors were equally obsessed over it

Why? Are all emperors fools?

Every emperor will see himself as the exception

thinking they're the only one who's the true celestial dragon incarnate

Shuo

Do you think this Li Shaojun

is likely to be another Xu Fu?

If it's really the case, then it's a simple case

What's worrying is him being like a rotting plaster over a rash

You can neither tear it off nor swap it away

Now that's going to make you have an itch you can't scratch

Drink up

Sage Li, here's some tea

I'd have to trouble you, fairy

to send it to my room

Don't go, girlie

Enjoy your tea, Sage Li. I'll take my leave

What's the rush? Sit a while more

Stay a while, have a seat, don't go

Do sit, girlie. Stay here and talk with me

Please mind your manners

Don't be scared, girl. You and I share a bond in this life

Taishang Laojun gave us this reunion in the mortal realm

Let go, let go now!

Let go, you!

Let go!

You dare disobey me?

I'll tell the current emperor

that you're an unlucky demon spawn

so you'll be stoned to death!

Just great, Li Shaojun

The damn nerve you have!

How dare you bring your debauchery into the Rear Palace!

See if His Majesty doesn't castrate you!

Rear Palace debauchery? Whoever did I assault?

Who exactly?

Don't see anyone here, do you?

Fine, you're some fine specimen!

Lifted your pants and deny it at that!

Lord Qiankun

You and Lord Wang may be the ones who brought me to His Majesty

But if you malign me

- I'll just as easily report you to the emperor. - How dare you!

Trying to get smart with me, aren't you?

How naive!

Who am I?

I'm the civic leader of the Eight Steeds of Jingchu!

Want me to tell His Majesty every dirt of yours

during your time at Jingchu Palace?

Go on, do tell!

Prince Jingchu's clan had perished long ago

You digging up dead people to threaten me?

I'm not taking that bait

Just because Prince Jingchu is no more

don't think that no one knows your background

Let me tell you

His daughter Liu Nan is well and alive

You'd better drill this into your head

Anyone who used to be under Prince Jingchu

can throw you to the death pit

Lord Wang and I are the only ones who can preserve your life

Yeah, from now on

I'll definitely follow your and Lord Wang's instructions exclusively

If I can be of use in any way

just make the call, my lord

Elder Li, if you've come to see me, there must be something

I'm here to report good news

What sort of good news?

Last night

my master Taishang Laojun sent me a dream

saying that my emperor is an all-rounder par excellence

The Jade Emperor

has decided to bestow a good omen in five days. Your Majesty

For three consecutive days

the Purple Regnal Star will rise in the southeast

The Purple Regnal Star will ascend for three consecutive days?

An immortal doesn't exaggerate

Since Taishang Laojun sent his word

there won't be empty promises

Great, that's just great

Taishang Laojun said that

the Jade Emperor

is bestowing three consecutive nights of good omens

to let the ministers and people of the Han dynasty

see for themselves

that Your Majesty is an emperor for the ages

If a good omen really appears

I will honor you as the State Preceptor

and decree that altars be built all over the state

to burn incense for Taishang Laojun

I thank Your Majesty on behalf of my master

- Yi. - Yes, Your Majesty

Issue a draft decree and proclaim this

In five days all courtiers are to gather in the Palace

I will especially build an observatory

outside Weiyang Palace

Sovereign and ministers shall jointly watch this rare spectacle

Your Majesty

Your Majesty, a good omen from heaven props up our Great Han

That is exactly the message the Jade Emperor is relaying to you

And it also shows that Li Shaojun is a true immortal

So Your Majesty can safely consume

Li Shaojun's longevity medicine

Your Majesty, you will become

- the unprecedented emperor for the ages. - Yes

Your Majesty, it is now midnight

Your Majesty, Your Lordships

The Purple Regnal Star is ascending any time now

Please keep your voices down

Look toward the southeast and don't miss

this grand moment!

Look!

The Purple Regnal Star!

Your Majesty, the Purple Regnal Star is rising

How arcane, a huge star really is rising

Your Majesty

Congratulations, Your Majesty, felicitations!

Congratulations, Your Majesty, felicitations!

My courtiers, the joy is ours, it's ours to share!

Your Majesty, the people outside the Palace have seen the star

and they're cheering with joy

They have spontaneously beat the drums and lit firecrackers

- It's a celebration. - Just imagine!

Your Majesty

- that's a celebration of all under the sky and across the seas! - Yes

Well said!

This omen portends that our Han dynasty's prosperous fortunes

- and the time for national unity is here. - Yes

Li Shaojun, I'm awarding you a thousand taels of gold

Hold it, Your Majesty

Today is just the first night

There are two more nights to go

Your Majesty can still reward me three days later

Very well

After three days, I'll make you State Preceptor. I'll honor my word!

Thank you, Your Majesty

I'm back

Quick, tell us what's actually going on

We all saw it from here

There really was a huge star ascending the sky

Yeah. If we didn't see it with our own eyes

no one would've believed it

Even if you saw it yourselves, it might not be genuine

If my dear wife

suddenly smacked me in the head

my vision will immediately

be filled with glittery gold

The whole city saw it

You still have doubts?

It's not doubt, I don't believe it one bit

Haven't I often played tricks for you?

Performed some sleight of hand or the like

Who knows if Li Shaojun

hadn't learned this trick from me?

This should be the place

- Let's spread out and search. - OK, that way

Dear, sis, come here and look

Look

What's this?

What's this thing?

It's… I don't know

It kinda looks like a lantern

Purple Regnal Star?

No matter how many times you say it

I'm still not convinced

So you say it's man-made

then how did it rise to the sky?

No way there's someone in the sky

tying a rope by some pole and pulling it up

Whether one sees it or hears it

this thing about the Purple Regnal Star being told to ascend the sky…

I won't believe it

I don't want to either

Yet I can't help but believe it

Sir, ma'am, Lord Dongfang wishes to see you

Here comes the explainer

- Lead Lord Dongfang to the living room and serve him tea. - Yes

Dongfang, the moment my wife heard your name

she immediately concluded that you're here for the star incident

Ma'am, I must hand it to you and your perceptive acumen

So it seems you're really here for that

Sir

I'm afraid I must again ask your disciples

to sweat it out a bit

What is it? Just say the word

Then I'll be straightforward

Please send out two of your best disciples

and get them to hide in that small forest by the city's southeast

Simply get them to watch and observe

avoid ever raising any suspicion

Rest assured. Jing Kui and I will go in person

I can't thank you enough

Your Majesty, there have been three nights of good heavenly omens

It really is the number one wondrous spectacle of all time

The people gushed in awe and the whole state cheers the mighty ruler

Lord Qiankun, as you said

that's Heaven protecting and aiding our emperor!

Your Majesty, I think

not only is now the time to enact rituals

but even if we deploy troops to attack the Xiongnu right away

- we'll surely push through anything and win all the way! - Right

His Majesty has the protection of deities and should deploy troops now

Both of your words deeply resonate with me

My courtiers, what do you think?

Your Majesty

If we empty the treasury and granaries for this war

in the case of a natural disaster right after

we'll be hard-pressed

I think the war can wait for another two years

His Majesty is the true dragon incarnate

You cannot use a mortal lens to regard His Majesty

Dongfang Shuo

- Dongfang Shuo! - What's wrong?

- Shuo! - Shuo

What is it?

His Majesty called you

Your Majesty

I don't know why I suddenly fell asleep

It's morning court, what's this tomfoolery?

Forgive me, Your Majesty

I don't know why I suddenly fell asleep either

Dongfang Shuo

Don't tell me it's because you'd been watching the Purple Regnal Star

and that interrupted your sleep?

Your Majesty, for the past few nights

all the ministers had not caught a wink

- We're all happy for Your Majesty. - Exactly

But Dongfang Shuo of all people had to doze off in morning court!

It's apparent how disrespectful he is to Your Majesty

Your Majesty, I'm innocent!

I really don't know why I suddenly fell asleep

And I even dreamed a dream

You dreamed something in such a short time?

I'm not lying, I dreamed of something indeed

What did you dream of?

Something about bagging a princess somewhere?

Not a princess

I dreamed of an immortal

Your Majesty, I dreamed of Huode Xingjun

Oh right

Li Shaojun once said

that in his past life, Dongfang Shuo

was Huode Xingjun's disciple

It's only because he was lusty that he was demoted to a man

So that means, you dreamed of your master?

Yes, I dreamed of Huode Xingjun

And what did your master tell you?

Your Majesty, he told me

that the Purple Regnal Star will show up in the sky again tonight

And not just one, but twelve of them!

They'll rise at the same time from all directions

Dongfang Shuo, you must be joking

Who's joking?

It's true

Your Majesty, Huode…

that is, my master, also told me

to get Your Majesty and Your Lordships

to gather tonight and watch it together

Impossible!

Absolutely impossible

Don't listen to his nonsense, Your Majesty

Who's speaking nonsense?

So when Li Shaojun talked about some ascending thing it's true

but when I said it, it's nonsense?

Is there any ulterior motive behind all these, Lord Qiankun?

Your Majesty. Since Dongfang Shuo

said that his master passed him a message

perhaps

Taishang Laojun also came to Li Shaojun's dream just now

Why not summon Li Shaojun to court to clarify?

That makes sense, Prime Minister

- Summon Li Shaojun to court. - Understood

By His Majesty's decree, summon Li Shaojun to court!

Your Majesty

Greetings, Your Majesty

- At ease, Preceptor. - Thanks, Your Majesty

May I ask what Your Majesty have called me for?

State Preceptor

That day, when Taishang Laojun came to your dream

he said there'll be three consecutive nights of the star rising, right?

Precisely, Your Majesty

The prophecy has been fulfilled

So did Taishang Laojun say that

there are more Purple Regnal Stars rising tonight?

Your Majesty

The Purple Regnal Star is the leader among stars

Its ascension

is something that happens once in centuries

Its appearance for three consecutive nights

is already an unprecedented spectacle that will be unmatched

How could it just appear for the fourth time so randomly?

It most definitely won't

But Dongfang Shuo

received a dream from Huode Xingjun in this main hall

saying that the star is rising again tonight

And not just one

but twelve of them will rise to the sky from all directions

Your Majesty

that's a most preposterous statement

There's only one Purple Regnal Star

How could twelve of them appear at the same time?

Brother Dongfang must've been

dreaming in daylight and spouting gibberish

Sage Li

it's true that I was dreaming during the day

but I definitely wasn't speaking gibberish

That's what my master told me

Your Majesty, this matter is impossible

Now that's odd

How come the message from your dream is a prophecy

and the one from mine is hot air?

We're both immortals

why's there such a difference in treatment?

But my words have been proven

And my words are waiting for its appointed time

How can you be sure

that once the time comes, it won't come true?

Your Majesty

Your Majesty, I have a method

to expose the verity of their words at once

What method? Hurry now

Your Majesty

All his life, doesn't Dongfang Shuo relish making bets?

- Dongfang Shuo. - Yes, Your Majesty. - You up for it?

Your Majesty, I'm willing to make a bet with Dongfang

Dongfang Shuo. So are you in or out?

Your Majesty, you know me best

All my life, I have no unsavory vices

except for the fact that I can't resist a bet

Alright

But what should we bet on?

Your Majesty, I'm willing to bet my head on this matter!

No, no! I won't bet heads with you. Leave me out

So that means what you're saying are all lies

Your Majesty, I cannot bet on heads with him

Li Shaojun is not a man, is he?

You're the one who's not a man!

Your Majesty

Dongfang Shuo actually dared to malign me in court

Please allow me to deal with him

Your Majesty, I absolutely did not malign him

- Li Shaojun definitely isn't a man! - You! - He's an immortal!

Alright. So what do you think you should bet on?

Your Majesty, as for the stakes

the lighter, the better

Qiankunzi

Yes, Your Majesty

Why don't you suggest a suitable stake

Your Majesty, as it stands now

Dongfang Shou will just lose his head in the bet

With Your Majesty's compassion and grace, it's indeed too severe

In my opinion

why not bet on fifty plank beatings?

- The loser is to be spanked fifty times on his backside. - OK

This stake is neither too light nor heavy

Fifty beatings, it's settled!

Look that way

Acting all calm and posing to no end

I'm telling you, if he's the least bit confident

he'd already been jumping around celebrating

He may do a good job pretending now

In a while he'd scream senseless

Hail His Majesty!

- At ease, all of you. - Thank you, Your Majesty

Where's Dongfang Shuo?

He's there

- Call him here. - Understood

Lord Dongfang

Lord Dongfang

- Shuo. - Shuo.

His Majesty called you

Greetings, Your Majesty

- Dongfang Shuo. - Yes, Your Majesty

What were you doing sitting there?

I'd like to dream again and see my master

And did you?

Nope, I guess he's asleep, like typical elders

I waited a long time and he still didn't come see me

What do you want to see your master for?

I'd still like to ask him

whether the Purple Regnal Star is genuine

Even if you managed to ask him now, it's too late

No it's not late, Your Majesty

If that old frizzy hair was really speaking nonsense

he owes me an indestructible diamond body

so I can get through those fifty beatings

You sure have guts

Fancy dropping all courtesies

toward your immortal master

If he pranked me

why should I be courteous with him, right?

Of course, that rule doesn't apply to you, Your Majesty

Zhang Tang

Yes, Your Majesty

Tell your charges to get ready

Get the biggest plank there is