Original subtitles

Faster than a speeding bullet.

More powerful than a locomotive.

Able to leap tall buildings at a single bound.

Look, up in the sky, it's a bird. It's a plane.

It's Superman.

Yes, it's Superman.

Strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with powers and abilities

far beyond those of mortal men.

Superman, who can change the course of mighty rivers.

Bend steel in his bare hands.

And who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a great

metropolitan newspaper, fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice,

and the American way.

And now, another exciting episode in The Adventures of Superman.

Cut it out, Rollo. I ain't done any clown work since we was partners ten

years ago. Yeah, that's funny. We had an argument that split up. Now I can't

remember what we argued about.

About the same thing that brings me back?

Money. I need some.

Well, I haven't very much, but you can have a few dollars.

A few rotten bucks, huh? I'm getting sick of having nothing but a few rotten

bucks. Well, I'm sorry, Crackers, but I don't happen to have very much right

now.

Come in.

Hello.

Hello. Hello. Are you Rollo? Yeah. I'm Clark Kent. This is Miss Lane. We're

from the planet.

Yeah, I know.

You're the tallest midget in the world and you're the smallest giant.

Well, not exactly.

We've come to ask you a tremendous favor.

Favor? Sure, why not?

Oh, this is a friend of mine, Crackers.

Glad to know you.

What do you do, Crackers?

How about this favor? What can I do for you?

Well, it's quite a big favor, Rollo. We want you to help us raise a half a

million dollars.

Half a million dollars?

You see, Rollo, in two hours from now, the Daily Planet is starting a telethon.

It's a 24-hour television show to raise money for the Children's Fresh Air Camp

Fund. Oh, of course, of course.

Say, I'd be honored and delighted.

I've got just a bid for it, too, a new act I thought up. Would you like to see

it? Love it.

Did you hear that, Crackers? I'm going to help raise half a million dollars.

Yeah.

I heard.

I thought of this just for Metropolis because this is where Superman lives. Is

that right, Mr. Kent? That's right. You might even get to meet him.

Wonderful, wonderful. Here.

Now, you'll be the villain and I'll be Super Clown.

Now, instead of taking the gun away and crushing the barrel to bits, I take the

gun away and... Eat it.

I certainly wish Superman could see that.

You'd sure get a kick out of it.

It's awfully nice of you to help us, though, to be serious for a minute.

Not at all. That's my business, my life, making children happy.

All right, then. We'll see you tomorrow night on stage three. That's at Colossal

Studios. Good, good.

We better hurry if we're going to contact some of the other circus people.

You go on in a couple of hours.

Oh, that's right.

Thanks again, Rollo. Good, good.

Nice to meet you, Crackers.

Think of that, Crackers.

Half a million dollars for the children.

How does this money come in?

Oh, different people send it in. By pledge, by check, by cash.

Cash, huh? Yeah.

Say, I got a wonderful idea, Crackers. Why don't you get back in the act?

You know something, Rollo?

I think I will.

Good, good.

I'm looking for Mr. Kent. He said he was coming over to talk to you. Yeah, he

left here a few minutes ago. You might find him somewhere else on the grounds.

Jeepers are real competent.

What do you use these for?

For cutting off neckties. What else? All right, son.

Look for Mr. Kent somewhere else.

Ronald, what's that?

Oh, those are my extra legs. I strap those on behind me. Do they laugh at

that one?

Yeah, that must be a riot. Yeah, come on, let's go. I want you to meet a

friend of mine, Hercules, the strong man. No, I'd rather not.

Let's go.

Well, why not? After all, I guess an opportunity like this only comes once in

a lifetime, I hope.

You'll like Hercules.

Well, you made him.

He's a real nice guy.

Maybe... Maybe we shouldn't disturb him. After all, he's probably been slaving

over a hot dumbbell all day.

He loves company. Come on in.

Get him away.

Get him away. Get him away.

Get him away.

Get him away.

Boo.

Boy, that was close.

I hate those mouses. Frankie, why don't you meet a friend of mine? Jim Olsen,

how are you? I'm fine. I'm fine.

That's all right. I don't need this hand anyway.

Sit down in that chair a minute, kid. I want a couple of words with my friend.

Ricky, how would you like to make a hundred bucks?

Sure. I need a new suit.

These are getting shiny in the pants. Listen, take this kid, tie him up and

gag him and keep him here until midnight tomorrow.

Sure, Rolo.

Leave it to me. I got no conscience.

This is a free trick, kid.

Sit down.

I just sat down.

This is the trick where I put the chains around my chest, expand it until they

break.

Hey.

There's one thing here. Aren't you bringing the chain around the wrong...

Now, there's only one thing the matter with this trick. It doesn't work.

Now, will you kindly make with the key?

Boy, that's a shame.

Looks like he must have lost the key. Let me see what I can do.

No.

Too bad, Fred. You shouldn't have seen those legs. I can't take any chances.

Don't forget, keep them here till midnight tomorrow.

Sure, Rolo. Then you'll pay me the hundred bucks, huh? Sure, Herky. I gotta

get back.

Gee, that Rolo.

He's the funniest clown in the world.

Clark, we've really got to hurry.

Yeah, I know. Well, Jimmy's probably there already.

Clark, what's the matter?

Nothing. Nothing, Lois. Look, you'd better go on without me. I want to see

someone else.

No, I'm going to see that you get there on time.

Lois, will you please... No, and that is final.

All right.

Please let me lift the dust off my glasses, at least.

Well, now let's see what you've done.

You're not supposed to find them with your feet.

I know, Lois. I'm very sorry. I have another pair in my office.

Well, I'd better get them for you. I'll meet you at the studio.

Would you please? Thanks. Thanks a lot.

What you need is a full-time nursemaid.

hercules why don't you learn to pick on someone your own size you're my size

superman

Cheap as it was worth being chained to get to see that.

But how did you know I was here? Did Mr. Kent tell you? Something like that,

Jimmy.

I'll see you later.

But Superman, wait.

You'll never get away with this, Crackers.

Keep your voice down if you want to live.

I've killed men for less than I'm going to make out of this. I know what you're

going to do.

You're planning to take my place at the telethon and somehow steal that money?

Smart boy, Rollo.

I figure there ought to be a couple of hundred thousand in cash. Not bad for

one night's work, is it?

Don't forget, Mr. Kent, I understand he's pretty smart. I understand he's

supposed to be a friend of Superman's, too, but I'll still get away with it.

Crackers, you're going to ruin the whole clown profession.

What are the children going to think?

Don't do it, Crackers. For them.

Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you. I'll explain later,

Mr. Kent.

Right now, I think there's a body in there.

A body? That's what I said.

There, see?

Rolo.

Rolo, you all right?

What happened?

Oh, it's the crackers.

Oh, you mean that fellow who was here when I met you?

Yeah. You mean there are two of you? I mean, one of you and one of him?

Oh, then he was made up to look like me, eh?

It was you.

I thought so.

Well, what's this all about, do you know?

I do now.

You see, Crackers came in here and wanted some money.

I told him I had a month's salary coming tonight, and then I let him have ten

dollars. Oh, I see. Then he just impersonated you and got all the money.

Which he must have done by now.

Well, there's no use crying over spilled milk, is there? Do you feel all right?

Oh, sure, sure, fine.

You can't keep a good clown down, especially when he has to be on

telethon, eh?

Folks,

this is the 22nd hour of our telethon.

And we haven't even reached the halfway mark yet.

Please, folks, let's not let the kids down.

And now the next guest in our program is Sang Lo Tu, the magician.

Ladies and gentlemen, Sang Lo Tu.

Everyone holding up okay?

When this is over, I'm going to pull a Rip Van Winkle.

Genki, we've got to go over the top.

We've just got to.

And right now, it looks like it will take more magic than he has up his

sleeve.

Chief, they can't say the planet isn't trying.

This woman was hoping to talk to Superman.

I don't understand it. Is there such a big difference between Superman and me?

I guess I do understand it.

Thank you, Sung Lo, too, for being with us tonight.

Well, Mr. Kent, it's the folks out there who can really be the real magicians.

You know, every contribution is the magic wand to send some underprivileged

youngster to camp. Thank you and good night.

Thank you very much. And he's so right, folks.

Please send your contributions in to Stage 3 Colossal Television Studios or

the Metropolis Daily Planet.

We're not making any progress. The thermometer hasn't gotten past 200,000.

Clark, that must have been the hundredth request.

Everyone will send in big chunks of money if Superman will only make a

personal appearance.

I know, Lois. I thought he'd be able to be here before now. He's got to.

That's all there is to it.

And I'm going to hold you personally responsible. Now, wait a minute, Chief.

There are certain difficulties involved here. Just what should be so difficult

about Superman appearing on the telethon?

Especially when he knows you're master of ceremonies.

Isn't there any way you can get him here, Clark?

Well, I hope so.

Well,

I'm not going to worry about it now.

I'm starving to death. I'm going out to get a sandwich. Do you mind taking over

for me? Of course, Clark. Go ahead.

Thank you very much.

It's just not like Superman to let us down.

Ladies and gentlemen, I know you've all been expecting Superman to make a

personal appearance here.

Superman! Now I know we're moving. I'm sorry to be late, Miss Lane. Where did

you come from?

Never mind. It's all yours.

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, as you know, I've made Metropolis my headquarters.

And I've done my best.

To give you a clean, healthy city.

Now I'm asking you to do your best.

Your best for many thousands of children.

Children who will grow up to be the citizens of this city.

And that's just about all there is to say.

So now I'm going to ask you to give as much as you can and as soon as you can.

Thank you very much.

You saved the day, Superman.

Now with some help from Raul the Crown, we're sure to make it. I hope so, Miss

Lane. Sincerely, I hope so.

Yes. Yes, it really was Superman.

Two dollars. Thank you very much.

Yes, ma'am. Ten dollars.

Thank you.

Hello? Listen to this.

A thousand dollars in the name of Superman.

Thank you very much.

Hello? Yes?

Thank you.

Here you go.

Sure nice of you to take over, Mr. Kent, while I grabbed a bite to eat.

Glad to do it.

Still can't figure out why you insisted on wearing my cap.

I don't feel comfortable without it.

Well, uh, I couldn't watch properly without it, now could I?

I hadn't thought of that.

Well, thanks again. You bet.

Rallo, I was scared to death you weren't going to show. Me not show? You couldn't

keep me away with a team of horses. Good. Let's go.

$500. Thank you. $500.

Thank you.

Why didn't you come out from behind that sandwich and say hello?

You seem to be doing all right.

Besides, I didn't feel very necessary.

Superman was a big help. We still couldn't have done it without you, Mr.

Brown. Thanks, Jimmy.

Most of the cash has been coming in envelopes. I thought you folks would

like to see how this contribution came from the employees of the aquarium.

Give these pledges to the tabulator, Tim, and keep counting that money as

fast as it comes in. Oh, people are bringing money from every organization

in town.

No.

We've made it.

The Countess say we did it.

We made it!

Clark, how wonderful.

Well, this is a proud day. I mean night for the planet.

We'll announce it just as soon as Rollo finishes his act.

Are you through, Rollo? We've got a pretty important announcement to make.

Not yet, Kent. I'm just starting.

What do you mean?

Just this.

No, that isn't very funny. That's right. But if you know what's good for you,

keep right on laughing. Make like it's part of the act.

Better do as he says, Lois.

Everybody will think this is a comic exit and that's the way I want it,

understand? Get that money in the bag.

Come on, Lois.

Hey, what is this?

It's the heist, buddy. Keep quiet. Just behave yourself and nobody gets hurt.

Rollo, I'd never have believed this of you.

I've got a surprise for you.

This isn't Rollo.

Hey! Don't be a hero, Clark. You're not the type. Call the police.

Great Caesar's ghost. What's happening around here?

Hello.

Get me Inspector Henderson.

This is Clark Kent at the telethon.

Oh, sure. I've been watching the program here at the station.

Say, that clown was sure funny.

Well, that clown just stole all of our cash.

He's armed and he's dangerous. You better set out an alarm.

What?

Alert all cars.

You better give up, Crackers. They'll kill you or they'll kill me by mistake.

You use my name and my reputation to steal money from the children. I'll get

you for that, Crackers.

Then come and get me.

Hold your fire till we make sure which is which.

Take care of the money.

You are Rollo, aren't you? Yes, I'm Rollo.

Good boy. Come on.

You could only catch one of us, Superman.

How did you know which one?

The kind of a man that you are is what gave you away, Crackers.

I couldn't imagine Rollo pushing anyone off a roof.

Not even you.

I guess I had it coming to me.

Anyway, I never was half the clown you were, Rollo.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, before we go off the air, I'd like to bring back once

more Rollo the Clown.

From what the police said, Superman saved more than the telethon tonight.

But let's give Clark and Rollo a little credit too, Lloyd.