Original subtitles

Faster than a speeding bullet.

More powerful than a locomotive.

Able to leap tall buildings at a single bound.

Look, up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane.

It's Superman.

Yes, it's Superman.

Strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with powers and abilities

far beyond those of mortal men.

Superman, who can change the course of mighty rivers.

Bend steel in his bare hands.

and who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a great

metropolitan newspaper, fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice,

and the American way.

These roses of yesteryear. Yes, where are the dandelions who ran so wild

through the alleys of Metropolis?

Or thought they did.

The tough guys.

The skunk weeds.

The Larry McCoys.

Larry McCoy?

Why, the guy's talking about me.

Remember him?

McCoy was quite a big shot in his day. But he slid downhill.

Oh, so fast.

They all do.

Crime never pays for long in any city.

But here in Metropolis...

It really shortchanges the best of them, or the worst.

And we can thank Superman for that.

Yes, here in Metropolis, crime is paying less and less. Larry McCoy and the

others like him have gone on their last toboggan ride.

They've run away for good. They're done for.

And that's just one of the reasons why Metropolis Better Bank Bonds are a

better investment for your money and... That's what you think, buddy.

I'll be back up on top. Don't kid yourself.

Hey, shut up, will ya?

Isn't this a pleasure?

Look, all them sounds. I'm a nervous type. They keep me awake.

Hey, what is this thing?

Mr. Kelso.

Huh? Mr. Who?

Mr.

Kelso is a machine.

Hey, what are you trying to give me? A machine with a name like a man? Look,

wait. I know sometimes I'm eccentric looking and I say foolish things and all

like that, but...

I can't help being proud.

There's no machine in the entire world like Mr. Kelso.

All right, I'll bite. What kind of a machine is it? Oh, what kind of a

machine isn't it?

Mr. Kelso can do anything.

Anything. I've given my whole life to make him work, to keep him running.

I said, what's he do?

He thinks.

Amen.

He's been working out a mathematical problem that would take an ordinary

human being years to solve. And Mr. Kelso has solved the entire problem in

32 seconds.

Including comments on the problem.

Mr. Kelso can be very thought-tastic.

Oh, one of those mechanical brains, huh? Like they use for elections and things.

No, no, no. Mr. Kelso is much more complicated than that. He can do several

problems at the same time.

But this particular problem that he's working on now involves safe

combinations, you see. And we have a stack of data practically this high with

night watchmen and time locks.

Look, I'm better.

Suppose you hang a blanket on that thing, huh?

Let's come again with that.

Mr. Kelso here is thinking about what?

Well, you see, one of the boarders here who lives in the place also works as a

night watchman. You said something about time clocks and watchmen?

Yes, you see, and he's trying to prove to the manager that he can't possibly be

in all these given points. You also said something about safe combinations.

Oh, safe combinations.

They're a cinch for Mr. Kelso.

Aren't they, Mr. Kelso?

All you have to do is to give him the size of the lock, the number of falls,

practically ten seconds to work it out, and you've got your safe combinations.

Too bad we're not criminals, isn't it?

That's very funny.

Very funny.

Say, maybe you have a problem you'd like Mr. Kelso to work out for you, have you?

Well, yes.

Well, let's suppose I'm in this bank Mr. Kelso mentioned.

Oh, yes. I know, the one we have the combinations for.

Yeah. Go ahead. There's two cops on duty, but they're closest to 50 feet

from a call box.

50 feet. Go ahead.

Of course, I'm just supposing.

Of course.

But the burglar alarm rings when only one cop can hear it.

And the nearest prowl car is three and a half blocks away at the time. Oh, you're

making it too easy.

Mr. Kelso has the answer already.

What a strange way of putting it. Huh?

It's hard to rob the Metropolis Bank north entrance.

One single alarm goes off and patrol car is only three and one half blocks away.

The machine took it seriously. How about that?

That's all right, Mr. Kelso.

No offense.

Imagine taking it seriously.

Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Kelso.

Yes, a real pleasure.

minutes after the door is open.

Ten and a half.

Ten and three quarters.

Five seconds left to go.

Three.

Two.

Would you mind going to the next window, please?

Give me that bag.

Get away clean?

Yeah.

Boy, there's that McNeil with onions.

Daylight bank robbery.

Police completely baffled.

Here, look at this one.

Metropolis, first national bank robbed in broad daylight.

A perfect crime, a daring success.

The front page of the Daily Planet. I wrote it. Any objection, Inspector?

Well, no. I guess that one's all right.

What did you want to see us for, Inspector?

So you didn't like the way some of the papers covered the story. What can we do

about it? A bank is robbed in broad daylight and everybody gets excited.

Headlines, pictures, a story of a crime wave. But Inspector Henderson, there

hasn't been a bank robbery in Metropolis for more than a year.

And there won't be for another year either. This is not a crime wave. Why,

that wasn't even a professional job. Oh, now wait just a minute. I mean it.

Here, look at this report.

The bank guard just happened to be making out his report.

The patrolman on the beat just happened to be phoning into his sergeant.

And the traffic signal just happened to be right for the getaway car.

You're trying to tell me that this was just luck, a series of coincidences that

made this thing work?

Exactly. Some rank amateur just had a full streak of luck.

Now look, Inspector.

Each one of these things happened at a regular time, didn't it?

Yeah. All right. Now suppose someone's smart enough to reduce the movements of

the police and the burglar alarms and so on to a formula.

That wouldn't just be luck, now would it?

And how big a brain would that take?

Oh, I see what you mean.

Well, maybe you're right.

Of course I'm right.

I doubt if even Superman could figure that many time factors.

Yeah.

Yeah, this is Henderson.

What?

Where? What happened? The Second National Bank.

Anybody bother the car?

No, boss. Oh, yeah, one guy, but I got rid of him. You know what I told him? I

said, brother, this car belongs to Mr. Kelso.

And he walked away just like it meant something.

Nosey of all the dumb.

No, maybe it's all right at that.

Mr. Kelso's car, and that was Mr. Kelso who just robbed the bank.

Time. Get going.

Shades, yeah, I know, shades.

Like they just came from the laundry. Quit that laughing, will you?

Cut it out.

Ah, relax, nosy. That's part of another perfect plan, that's all. In case you

were caught, you'd have nothing but shades.

Well, you might have warned me. I had the real satchel all the time.

I got it across the 10th Street Bridge just before the toll gate closed.

I tell you, so far, every one of these plans have been perfect.

The answer that machine gives us... It's colossal. Well, tell it to Mr. Council.

Tell it Uncle Oscar there.

I'm quitting while the quitting's good. Quitting?

Quitting what?

So long, Uncle Oscar.

You'll wise up yourself someday.

But, gentlemen, gentlemen, what goes on around here anyway?

You know those figures that we compiled for the Metropolis Savings and Loan

Association, the ones you said were on their insurance?

Well, right here in the paper, it says that that company has been robbed. Ah,

knock it off.

Nosy, listen to me.

You're just as scared as Superman, ain't you? Boss, I've warned you before.

When Superman starts getting into the act, then count me out.

It's time to quit.

Come here.

I want to show you something.

Look, I ain't going to argue about Superman.

I know how tough he can get. Of course he can. But then what have we done that

Superman should want to stop us?

That was friendly.

Now who's going to run the machine for you? Don't worry, I can run it.

Here, see?

Yeah.

We're going to get along all right, Mr. Kelso and me.

We're buddies now, ain't we, Mr. Kelso?

What? You're getting just like he is.

Talking as if this Kelso was human instead of just nuts and bolts. Don't

say things like that in front of him. Well,

forget it. Never mind.

Just read that answer paper.

Yeah, all evening I've been feeding him questions.

He hasn't given us a wrong answer yet, has he? No.

And everything he figured for us, he figured perfect, hasn't he?

You ask him about Superman?

Here, read the answer. See what he says.

Superman can be stopped.

Superman can be fixed.

Superman will not interfere again.

Suggest you feed me more facts.

I gave him everything that's known about Superman.

His x-ray vision, his super hearing, the name of his friends, all that kind of

stuff.

Instructions for stopping Superman.

Send following message.

The Superman in care of the Daily Planet.

This is it, Nosy.

We follow Mr. Kelso's instructions, and Superman won't dare interfere with our

next bank job.

Look, that one.

Move, you big boy. Get out of the way. I thought you was being too optimistic.

Your machine didn't have that one figured out.

Well, perhaps we'd better walk at that.

No, it's not true, Miss Lane.

I just can't believe it.

Jimmy, I talked to the policeman who saw it.

They were shooting at the police, weren't they? Maybe Superman was trying

to keep anybody from being hurt.

I thought of that. It's not good enough.

Where's Mr. Kemp?

I don't know. He was in his office earlier.

Never mind.

I'll go see.

Where did you come from?

Oh, I just got in, Lois. Golly, Mr. Kent, have you heard that crazy story

about Superman? Yes, I know all about it, Jimmy. Oh, you do? Then what's the

explanation? Lois, I was just on my way out. I have nothing to say now. Not so

fast, Mr.

Kent. How come you know so much about Superman?

Look, Lois, I'm on the trail of something pretty important. I have to

keep an eye on it until I find out the answers. So, please?

All right, run along. Dig up your own private little headlines.

Thank you.

Holy cow.

It seems to me what's happening to Superman is a lot more important. Jimmy,

no wonder.

What? Ooh, that Clark Kent. Stealing messages meant for Superman.

What's it say?

I might have guessed. The one thing they could tell him that might worry him.

Let me see.

Sorry, Jim. Clark Kent isn't going to have this story all to himself.

Oh, Miss Lane, please.

All right.

Someone wrote the Daily Planet they know Superman's identity, and they're

threatening to tell the whole world.

Well, this is certainly getting us nowhere.

Oh,

one big happy family.

Get over there and get that ball.

Well, don't you stand there. Do something.

I don't think he'll do anything.

Look, we got two of them. How about that, boss?

It's all right. We'll be leaving.

Clark, what's the matter with you?

Yeah, stand still.

I know all about you, and I don't want any trouble.

You know all about me?

That's right. Your name is Clark Kent, and you're one of those nuisance

reporters.

I'm what?

Not so funny.

You ain't going to be a nuisance anymore.

Either one of you.

Well, I'll move.

There.

We'll put her in front.

I'll take him in back. He's nervous like I am.

Hey, did you change your license plates?

Yeah.

We're all right, boss. We can still make the schedule.

Does your son think you'd take care of Uncle Oscar? Sure.

Give me a hand with the doors, will you? They're jammed.

Clark, what's going to happen to us?

Don't worry, Lois.

Superman will get us out of this just as soon as he can. But he can't. These

people know his identity.

Said so in the message.

They'll expose him if he interferes.

It was only a bluff, Lois. But that's why Superman had to wait.

To find out whether or not it really was a bluff. Meanwhile, no one's been hurt.

All right, here we go.

Your drive for you and the long one for us.

You know, those bank holdups of yours were so slick that for a while, Superman

thought you were smart enough to know who he really was.

Don't yak at me, buddy. I like it quiet.

Oh, I see. You're not interested, huh?

Not anymore.

It's all over.

See that pile of dough? Mm-hmm. Every penny we've taken.

What makes you think that you'll get out of town with that, much less out of the

country? This.

You ever see anything like it before?

The time of every stoplight.

Fact is, they show when each road is vacant, when each cop is headed the

wrong way.

So that's it.

This Mr. Kelsey you've been talking about is just a machine.

How did you know?

It's the one thing I didn't know. But I should have. It's obvious.

No human being could think up such a complicated schedule.

Say, suppose they turn that against you and use it to capture you.

Buddy, you're almost as smart as I am.

What do you mean?

Well, you and the dame are dead anyway, so who cares?

Of course, I got my own schedule, buddy. That's what I mean.

Larry McCoy wasn't born yesterday.

Sure, I heard of those machines a guy plays around with and then he turns

around and catches them.

Well, I got all the dough I need.

So one minute there ain't going to be no more, Mr. Kelso.

What? You heard me.

And no one can ask you to squawk either.

I got a guy named Pinky that's taking care of them down at the house.

The same way you're going to be taken care of. Hey, look. Huh? In the cab

there. Where? See, look.

Yeah, they don't want us gay.

But don't worry, miss.

The boss ain't gonna hurt your boyfriend.

Mud.

Sorry, but I'll be gone for a minute. I don't want you to miss me.

Commercial Street.

1210, right on schedule.

Now you gotta turn right on the 6th block.

You're Uncle Oscar, aren't you? Yes. Here, take this and watch him. I've got

to get back to the truck. Yeah, but wait, wait, wait. There's no need to.

You don't understand.

The plane is still there. No, no, no. But they'll be captured soon.

What? You see, I can understand those crooks fooling me, but I don't

understand how they managed to keep fooling Mr. Kelso. Oh, look.

Look, please. He'll take up something.

You must forgive me, Uncle, if I don't believe such things.

Superman. Shut up.

But you're wrong.

It can't be. The schedule said six blocks and I turned when I got there.

I don't care about your schedule. All I care about is that. Read it and weep.

Well, he's quite a machine.

That's all I can say.

Mr. Kemp, didn't I tell you Mr. Kelso would do something?

Didn't I tell you?

Clark, do you suppose I could ask Mr. Kelso how you got out of the back of

that truck?

Lois, I've told you again and again. Superman smashed a hole in that truck

and I went through it, and that's the absolute truth.

Look, Uncle Oscar, if I tell Mr.

Kelso all I know about Superman, do you suppose he could actually figure who he

is? Oh, I don't know about that.

Superman might not like him.

Besides, he might turn out to be someone very dull like... Oh, never mind.

Don't you strain yourself thinking of something dull.

Mr. Kelso, who is Superman?

Mr.

Kelso says, quote, wouldn't you like to know, unquote.