Original subtitles

How about this?

I will also

let Qiankunzi drink half a bucket of cold water and stand with you

Before you come up with a good idea

anyone who dares to pee a drop

will be castrated to be a eunuch

Your Majesty!

Only Dongfang Shuo has good ideas up his sleeve

Why did you ask me to drink cold water, too?

It's self-evident

You guarantee that he can come up with a good idea

If he fails

Of course, as the guarantor, you shall be punished together with him

- Your Majesty… - That's it

- Zhang Tang. - Yes, Your Majesty

- You are the executive. - As you command

So

which one of you will go first?

Why the rush?

Let him go first

Why should I go first? Your official rank is higher

and you walk in front of me every time we leave the court

- So you should go first. - My rank is higher, so you should obey me

Stop shirking. Each of you will take turns with one ladle at a time

- You are not going to drink any less. - Your Majesty!

Alright, I'll go first

That's the proper courage of a Halberdier

Hold on

- Zhang Tang. - At your service

Let's establish a rule

Anyone who leaks a drop will be punished with an extra ladle

- Your Majesty! - Zhang Tang, you must watch closely!

Understood

- Have both of you understood His Majesty's order? - Yes

Then, I won't elaborate too much

Lord Dongfang, please

Just start drinking. Come on

Thanks, Your Majesty

Every drop is a grace from Your Majesty

It's your turn

Thanks, Your Majesty

You got some water left in there!

Nothing's left, Your Majesty

- Keep going. - Your Majesty!

Lord Dongfang, please

Zhang Tang

do you think Dongfang Shuo

will spill out a good idea?

Your Majesty

I only know how to enforce the law and follow your orders

I dare not

speculate on other matters

You're always too rigid

I used to say that

you'd be perfect if you had half of Dongfang Shuo's shrewdness

It seems like I have underestimated how rigid you are

Your Majesty, I might be rigid in ordinary cases

but I won't lose to Dongfang Shuo this time

Do you have a good idea?

Your Majesty, it's been two hours

They probably can't hold it much longer

Let's go, sneak over

- to check on them secretly. - Your Majesty

there's something I need to report

We can discuss it after checking on them

Let's go!

Let me tell you, Qiankunzi

I can make a deal with His Majesty on this

I can tell His Majesty that

as long as His Majesty castrates you first

I will reveal my brilliant idea

If His Majesty hears this word

he won't hesitate at all to remove your genitals

Dongfang Shuo

for the sake of our shared hometown and school days

I implore you not to engage in such evil acts

You were the one who mistreated me first

Don't blame me for that!

- Then, who should I blame? - Wang Huai'e, of course!

You killed his father, Wang Xiu

and he has long desired vengeance against you

All the wrongs I've committed against you

were his ideas

Your Majesty!

Qiankunzi, you brat!

At this juncture, you still try to use Wang Huai'e as a shield

I'll castrate you first!

Your Majesty, please spare me!

- Please spare me! - Oh no, urine

Your Majesty! It's coming out here!

Your Majesty, Qiankunzi has urinated

No, Your Majesty, it's not me

- Not you? - Not me

The ground under your feet was wet. Was the Tudigong sweating?

Your Majesty, you can castrate Qiankunzi now

because I've figured out a brilliant idea

Spare me, Your Majesty! Your Majesty!

Lord Qiankun, stop yelling

His Majesty is not here to kill you

His Majesty only wants to slash your thing off

with a knife, and that's all

- Dongfang Shuo. - At your service

Share your idea now

Your Majesty, you haven't castrated Qiankunzi yet

Tell the idea first. I'll decide after hearing it

Your Majesty

could you allow me to get rid of

the little trouble inside me first?

Permission granted

Thanks, Your Majesty

And, Your Majesty

please, don't let me end up like Qiankunzi

wetting my pants

Could Your Majesty grant me a chamber pot?

- Yi. - At your service

- Fetch him a chamber pot. - Understood

Thanks, Your Majesty. But I have one more request

Why so many troubles for such a simple act of relieving yourself?

Your Majesty, if you issue another decree

commanding Qiankunzi to kneel before me

holding the chamber pot to collect my urine

my idea could be even more brilliant

- I promise. - Permission granted. - Thanks, Your Majesty

Your Majesty, this is an insult to me!

- If you dare to defy my decree, I'll castrate you now! - I dare not

Qiankunzi, be sensible. Hurry up, hold the chamber pot!

- Your Majesty, I can't hold back any longer. - It's ready!

Hurry, relieve yourself. What are you waiting for?

I'm not waiting. Just stop waggling with the chamber pot!

Don't move! When I'm urinating

if you waggle it around and startle me

my brilliant idea might be frightened away

Lord Qiankun, in that case

we'll have no choice but to face the castration

Get your precious urine out!

Get back here. Don't move. Lower. Your Majesty, please turn around

- Hurry! - It's coming, don't rush me. The full bladder is killing me!

Don't move!

It feels so good!

- Your Majesty, it's killing me! - Almost done!

It stinks!

I can't hold it!

Your Majesty!

Your Majesty!

Mr. Sang

I heard from Dongfang Shuo that

you were adept at rod calculus from a young age

When in charge of your uncle's estate, you managed

thousands of hectares of land, hundreds of mule and horse carts

and numerous banks and stores

with a turnover of tens of thousands per day

Even so, your accounts

were highly meticulous, without the slightest error

You flatter me, Madam

Managing accounts requires nothing more than attention to detail

In economics, the most critical aspect

is not just financial management but to create wealth

It means finding ways to let money multiply and grow

turning one sum into ten

and ten into a hundred

I've never heard such a theory before

No wonder Dongfang Shuo holds you in such high regard!

Dongfang Shuo wanted to recommend you to His Majesty

so that you can find a way for the court to earn money

What is your position on this matter?

Lord Dongfang spoke the same to me

a few years ago in Shang County

but after that, news has yet to be forthcoming

I never thought Lord Dongfang would remember this

after all this time

To be honest

Dongfang Shuo has been down on his luck in recent years

So far, he is just

a Halberdier on guard at His Majesty's side

Then, why did he decide to bring me to the capital now?

Because he is concerned about what His Majesty's concerning!

Loyalty to His Majesty and workaholism are written in his nature

Your Majesty, among these merchants

some make great fortunes, and some earn less

The main reason

for such a phenomenon is not their varying intelligence

but the differences

in the goods they trade

I am aware that

the most lucrative goods

are salt and iron

Salt and iron

are necessities for the people's livelihood

and the country's stability and development

So, the profit they yield is often several times the cost

All the merchants who trade salt and iron

are exceedingly rich

However

they are all miserly individuals

If we don't offer them an official position in exchange

they will never contribute a single coin

to support the war against the Xiongnu

Yet, Your Majesty

salt and iron resources

all come from seas

wells, mountains, and valleys that belong to you!

Why can't the profits

earned by these merchants

benefit the imperial treasury?

Indeed

Every inch of land and every resource belongs to the monarch

Therefore, my suggestion for Your Majesty is

to nationalize the exploitation of salt and iron

Take back these two most lucrative businesses

and let the government monopolize and manage them

In this way

within a couple of years

ample funds can be accumulated

solving the problem of inadequate military funding

Dongfang Shuo

you're truly my most trustworthy minister!

Your Majesty, this idea is not my creation

Dongfang Shuo

you've made great progress by standing guard for me for a few days

You've learned to be modest!

No, I am not being modest

The credit for this idea

goes to a young man named Sang Hongyang

Sang Hongyang?

If such a talented individual exists

why didn't you bring him to my attention earlier?

Your Majesty, I've already sent Princess Liu Nan

to Shang County to invite him

If everything goes well

they should be back in Chang'an in the next two or three days

By imperial order, Sang Hongyang present himself before His Majesty!

Sang Hongyang, approach and meet His Majesty!

I, Sang Hongyang, humbly greet Your Majesty

Long may Your Majesty reign!

- Please rise. - Thank you, Your Majesty

Yesterday, I read your Discourses on Salt and Iron

What a brilliant governing and finance strategy!

Combined with your three proposals

I can employ sufficient resources without burdening the people

extending dominance while ensuring financial stability

Sang Hongyang, you are indeed impressive!

Guided by Lord Dongfang, I understand that

I should not waste my innate talents

on earning petty profits

but should contemplate ways to benefit all people

Only in this way can I serve Your Majesty in governing the country

Sang Hongyang

I now appoint you as a Grand Master of the Palace

joining Dongguo Xianyang and Kong Jin

as the leaders of all financial matters

I am deeply grateful for Your Majesty's grace!

Dongfang Shuo

stop pretending

I have permitted you to talk

Yes, Your Majesty

Put down the halberd

Dongfang Shuo, considering your recommendation of Sang Hongyang

I hereby reinstate you as a Superior Grand Master of the Palace

and additionally, reward you with five hundred taels of gold

I appreciate Your Majesty's great favor very much!

He's not even four years old

How can you let him wield a weapon?

He's old enough to do so

I was one year old

when I learned to spring up and catch birds

Your tall talk is almost

catching up to Dongfang Shuo's!

Take him to play

Do you think Dongfang Shuo

will lead a good life after being reinstated?

Unlikely

Why?

Because Qiankunzi and Wang Huai'e are his adversaries

Can those two outpower Dou Wangsun or Wang Xiu?

They are no match for Dongfang Shuo

That's why this is the most dangerous time for Dongfang Shuo

Let me tell you

as long as His Majesty still believes in Dongfang Shuo

no one can pose a threat to him

But the problem is, His Majesty is now

most uneasy about Dongfang Shuo

His Majesty has eliminated the threats of external usurpers

naturally, he starts to be wary of the ministers around him

Dongfang Shuo is loyal!

But he shows off too much

His Majesty needs to beware of the treacherous ones

No, His Majesty needs both loyal and treacherous ministers around him

Why?

His Majesty needs various types of ministers

and even intentionally cultivates several factions

Once these factions start scrambling for power

His Majesty will be safest

Because regardless of the faction

they all need the His Majesty's support

That way, His Majesty can prevent the ministers from forming alliances

I understand now

It's like… like playing chess

Whichever black and white pieces

are missing

will disrupt the whole chess game

You're finally enlightened!

Your Highness

This is for you

What does this mean?

It's His Majesty's reward. Sister gave it to me

Well… you should keep it

She gave it to you, so you should have it

A man will be a laughingstock if he doesn't have some money

in his hand to spend

Your Highness

Your Highness, My Lord, Madam wants to meet you

What's the matter now?

Madam got the news that the Empress Dowager is at her last gasp

Mother

Don't worry

The imperial physicians said you'll be alright

Mother, you will

you will recover

Your Majesty

you don't have to console me

I know

my own fate

I'm afraid I will never see you again

Mother!

Your Majesty, I've suffered a lot in my life

but I don't regret anything or blame anyone

because I am blessed

to have such a wonderful son

Mother

I am so sorry to you

This is… all from my heart

It's just that

your poor uncle… died

so tragically

Mother

Mother, please take it easy

Your Majesty, please promise me one thing

Please tell me

Your Majesty

of all your maternal relatives

your cousin, Wang Huai'e, is the only one left

holding an official position now

Promise me

no matter what happens

you will show him mercy

and spare his life

Your Majesty

My dear son!

I promise, Mother

No matter what happens

I will never let him

die in my hands

Please rest assured, Mother

Mother!

Your Highness!

Mother!

The Empress Dowager has passed away!

In such a crucial matter

His Majesty seems in no hurry to decide

Obviously, His Majesty

doesn't want me as the Supervisor-in-chief of the Imperial Mausolea

Lord Wang, please be at ease

His Majesty hasn't agreed yet

but other ministers have expressed no opposition

So, His Majesty has to think it over seriously

I am experiencing an urgency of urination. Please excuse me

You go first

I'd like to know what scheme Dongfang Shuo is up to

Your Majesty

Dongfang Shuo has returned and requested an audience

- Let him in. - Understood

Greetings, Your Majesty

Your Majesty, I think

There is no need for any excuses like

suddenly remembering something after leaving

- Straight to the point. - Understood

Your Majesty, I think Lord Qiankun was right. Wang Huai'e is

the best person to be the Supervisor-in-chief of the Imperial Mausolea

Is this your sincere opinion?

My words are never mere whims

You never get along with Wang Huai'e

but now you recommend him

Are you playing some trick again?

Your Majesty, you've misunderstood

I suggest

Your Majesty appoint another minister to collaborate with him

much like the arrangement for the Grand Empress Dowager's funeral

Very well, I'll assign you to it. What do you think?

Your Majesty, this is way too overwhelming

I am

incapable of taking on such a heavy responsibility!

Dongfang Shuo

tell me the truth

Do you want to be the Prime Minister or not?

No, I don't

You know

the choice of Prime Minister

is now up to me alone

You don't have to hide your thoughts from me

I've thought about it

but I'm really not cut out for the position

Then who is?

Li Cai

Li Cai?

That gentle scholar

who always smiles and never shows temper?

Only such a gentle scholar

possesses the tolerance to be a Prime Minister

He's unlike me. With a flawed temperament and narrow mind

I can't handle state affairs properly

He's a man

with little ability beyond that

Your Majesty, he's a renowned scholar

mentioned in the same breath as Gong Sunhong!

Dongfang Shuo

do you genuinely believe

Li Cai is suitable for the position?

Your Majesty, I speak from the heart

Yi

At your service

Spread my order

I hereby appoint Li Cai, the Head of the Secretariat

and Wang Huai'e, the Defender-in-chief

as the Left and Right Supervisor-in-chief of the Imperial Mausolea

and grant them full authority to oversee the Empress Dowager's funeral

Kowtow!

Kowtow for the second time!

Kowtow for the third time!

The funeral of the Empress Dowager has been executed flawlessly

I am satisfied

Li Cai's contributions are indispensable

highlighting his talents

Consequently, I've decided to appoint Li Cai as the Prime Minister

overseeing all government offices and state affairs

Understood. I appreciate Your Majesty's grace

- Rise. - Thanks, Your Majesty

Wang Huai'e

At your service

As the relative of the Empress Dowager

you displayed exceptional dedication during this funeral

I'll grant you the extra position of Head of the Secretariat

and reward you with 1,000 taels of gold and a pair of jade bis

I appreciate Your Majesty's grace

Have my consolations to the Empress Dowager's relatives

including Yi Sheng, Madam Xiuzhu, and Jin Buhuan

been well managed, Prime Minister?

Per Your Majesty's order

I have duly arranged the hundreds of hectares of land

and thousands of taels of gold to them

Your Majesty, the Head of the Secretariat requests an audience

- Bring him in. - Understood

- I humbly greet Your Majesty. - Please rise

Thanks, Your Majesty

Wang Huai'e

what are you here for?

I am here on behalf of the Empress Dowager's relatives

to express gratitude to Your Majesty

Your Majesty treats them so kindly that

the Empress Dowager will also feel delighted from beyond

Mother had been through a lot over the years

It was very hard for her

These days

in the quiet of every night

Mother's visage and voice would always vividly come to my mind

causing my heart to ache with grief

Your Majesty's filial piety toward the late Empress Dowager

is truly moving!

But Her Highness has already departed

Please restrain the grief and take care of your well-being

Why must

people age?

And why must people die?

Long live Your Majesty

Forget it

The long-live expressions are just expressions

They are never true

Longevity is by no means easy

You thought His Majesty was exclaiming over ephemeral nature of life?

No

His Majesty was hoping to be immortal

Qin Shi Huang went to great lengths

mobilizing massive forces to pursue immortality

yet it was still all in vain

But the quest continues

Are you implying that

our current Emperor

will follow in the footsteps of Qin Shi Huang in the future?

Emperors throughout history are of the same kind

They are no different

His Majesty will employ extensive resources to pursue immortality

That will also be our opportunity to show loyalty to His Majesty

What do you mean?

Back in Jingchu

- I met a charlatanic Taoist named Li Shaojun. - Li Shaojun?

He had no other skills

but an extraordinary talent for flattery and tall talks!

How did he go about it?

For instance, in front of Prince Jingchu

he claimed to be the chief disciple of Taishang Laojun, who descended

to the mortal realm and could refine an elixir for immortality

Fortunately, Prince Jingchu

was indulged in compiling the book Jingchuzi

sparing himself from falling for it

Are you suggesting

we invite him to the capital, present him to His Majesty

and have him make an elixir for His Majesty?

Ministers

I always follow the will of the heavens and the will of our people

so I was blessed to have an heir

Therefore, today, I proclaim

my beloved son the Crown Prince

Long may Your Majesty reign!

My first wife

committed immoral behaviors of engaging in witchcraft

and, therefore, was dethroned by me two years ago

Yet, the imperial harem must not linger without leadership

Noble Consort Wei Zifu

virtuous and gracious, possesses the qualities to become Empress

Now that the Crown Prince is set

I would like to have Noble Consort Wei as the new Empress

Ministers, what are your thoughts?

Long may Your Majesty reign!

Start performing the music!

Long live the Empress!

- Please rise. - Thanks, Your Majesty

Ministers

I would also like to select a new title for my regnal years today

Please share your thoughts on this matter

As the seasons revolve

spring marks the beginning, and the first day of spring is termed Yuan

The new moon, which is termed Shuo, is the beginning of lunar phase

In my humble opinion, the most fitting new title

would be Yuanshuo

This is very much to my liking

Ministers, how do you find the Prime Minister's proposal?

Your Majesty

while this title is undoubtedly excellent

I believe some deliberation is still warranted

Please speak your mind

Your Majesty, the character Yuan signifies the beginning

the first day, and leadership

However, the character Shuo

coincides with Dongfang Shuo's name

So, I'm afraid I have to disagree

According to this theory

do you mean I cannot use any character from Dongfang Shuo's name?

- Minister Dongfang. - At your service

I want to borrow a character from your name to form the new title

As you wish, Your Majesty

I am more than honored

Of course, in return

I shall elevate your position by one rank

appointing you as the Censor-in-chief

I am very grateful for Your Majesty's grace!

Each minister

will receive an additional month's salary

Furthermore, I will host a grand banquet at the Shanglin Compound

where you may bring your wives and concubines

to revel in the festivities alongside me

Thanks for Your Majesty's gracious banquet

Come on, Zifu

Ministers, I invite you

and your wives to join me for a joyous revelry

Thanks to Your Majesty and Your Highness

Greetings, Your Majesty and Your Highness

Your Majesty, behold

Alright, let me take a look

Minister Wang, what is this?

Your Majesty, half a month ago

a Taoist from Luoyang reported that

he found traces of immortals

in the Hou Mountain region east of Luoyang

This is the footprint left by an immortal's right foot!

A footprint of the immortal, isn't that likely a fanciful notion?

Your Majesty, I was skeptical at first

Five days ago, I went to investigate

and saw this footprint imprinted on the stone with my own eyes

Your Majesty, I think

ordinary people are unable to leave such a mark on the stone

It must be the work of an immortal!

So, I brought this auspicious item back to Chang'an

and offered it to Your Majesty

If it truly is the footprint of an immortal

then what does this immortal look like?

I know very little about it

However, I have brought Li Shaojun, who discovered it

back to Chang'an

Your Majesty may want to ask him

Are you saying that

the Taoist who found the immortal's footprint is also in Chang'an?

Yes, his name is Li Shaojun, and he is waiting outside

Then quickly, summon him!

By imperial order, Li Shaojun shall present himself before His Majesty

Li Shaojun, approach and meet His Majesty!

Greetings, Your Majesty

Are you the Taoist who personally witnessed the immortal?

Yes, I did see the immortal

but failed to invite him to Chang'an

Please forgive me, Your Majesty

Then tell me

which immortal did you see?

It was my master, Taishang Laojun, known as Li Laojun

As his disciple, I am called Li Shaojun