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1
00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:34,197
[GONG]
2
00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:36,634
Oh Mighty One!
3
00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:39,115
The first caravan of
the day has arrived
4
00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:40,943
from Samarkand
5
00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:42,118
for your inspection.
6
00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,255
'Tis poor quality,
Oh Mighty One.
7
00:02:48,342 --> 00:02:49,995
I'm merely passing through
on my way to Venice.
8
00:02:50,082 --> 00:02:52,259
Oh, just passing
through, are you?
9
00:02:52,346 --> 00:02:56,045
Well, I'm afraid that
attracts both import
and export duties.
10
00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:58,830
Oh, yes. 100 in
and 100 out.
11
00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:00,223
200%!
12
00:03:00,310 --> 00:03:02,660
Mmm-hmm.
13
00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:05,228
It's not for nothing that
The Mighty One is called
Abdul the Benevolent.
14
00:03:05,315 --> 00:03:07,056
I know, I know!
I'm a fool to meself!
15
00:03:07,143 --> 00:03:10,451
Oh Mighty One!
Please have mercy on
a penniless merchant!
16
00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:11,756
I'll be ruined!
17
00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:13,323
Next!
18
00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:16,108
[GONG]
19
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,724
What's this lot then? Garden
ornaments and pottery?
20
00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:25,553
No, no. This is
medicinal herbs
from China.
21
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:26,902
This one is rhubarb.
22
00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:29,470
Uh-huh. And what
are the other ones?
23
00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:31,602
Oh! This one
is ginger.
24
00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:33,604
Oh! Is he?
25
00:03:33,691 --> 00:03:34,953
Perhaps you better
give him a stick
of rhubarb, then.
26
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:36,868
Pharmaceuticals,
200%.
27
00:03:36,955 --> 00:03:38,392
Oh Mighty One!
28
00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:40,524
This will ruin me!
29
00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:41,873
Yes, yes.
30
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,223
The soup kitchen's that way!
31
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:46,182
Ohh! I'm ruined!
32
00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:47,488
Ruined!
33
00:03:49,011 --> 00:03:50,055
[CRASH]
34
00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:51,100
Whoops!
35
00:03:51,187 --> 00:03:52,623
What's that powder?
36
00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:56,236
[SNIFFING]
37
00:03:57,802 --> 00:03:59,543
[SNIFFING] It's p-p-p...
38
00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:02,154
P-pepper!
39
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,722
And what is the
street value of
this pepper?
40
00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:06,333
Come on! Own up!
41
00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:09,249
Value nothing.
In China, we
have no streets.
42
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:11,207
Pepper peddler!
43
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:13,035
Fine him double!
44
00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:15,124
That's 1,000%.
45
00:04:15,211 --> 00:04:16,430
I said double!
46
00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:17,909
That's 2,000.
47
00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:19,781
One thousand,
two thousand?
48
00:04:19,868 --> 00:04:21,348
That's 3,000!
49
00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:23,350
Oh! I am ruined!
50
00:04:23,437 --> 00:04:24,742
Ruined!
51
00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:27,179
Ha! Good!
52
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,093
Next!
53
00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:30,574
[GONG]
54
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:32,968
[COUGHING AND WHEEZING]
55
00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:34,752
Ew!
56
00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:36,711
Here's one ruined
before he's started.
57
00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:38,234
THE WAZIR: That's far enough.
58
00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:39,409
[WHEEZING]
59
00:04:40,497 --> 00:04:41,759
[GAGGING]
60
00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:43,021
What's he bringing in?
61
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:44,936
It's not perfume,
that's for sure.
62
00:04:45,023 --> 00:04:46,286
No, this one is
a messenger.
63
00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:48,070
Oh, good.
64
00:04:48,157 --> 00:04:49,027
What do we charge
our messengers?
65
00:04:49,114 --> 00:04:50,202
Ah! No, no, no!
66
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,291
Oh Mighty One,
67
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:52,814
the message is for you.
68
00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:54,424
For me? Yeah.
69
00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:56,731
I come hotfoot
from Lisbon.
70
00:04:58,123 --> 00:05:00,125
He brings news of
what the Lisbonians
are getting up to.
71
00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:01,518
Well, I don't care
what they get up to
72
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:02,606
as long as they don't
do it in the street
73
00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:03,868
and frighten the camels.
74
00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:05,435
No, no, the
city of Lisbon.
75
00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:07,394
Oh! Oh, the one
in Portugal.
76
00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:08,873
Quite correct,
Oh Mighty One.
77
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,658
And if I'm
not mistaken,
78
00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:13,225
he brings your message
from Achmed the shoemaker.
79
00:05:14,139 --> 00:05:15,750
Our secret agent
in Lisbon.
80
00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:17,099
Right, right.
81
00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:20,015
And where is
this message?
82
00:05:20,102 --> 00:05:21,233
[SNORTS LOUDLY]
83
00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:22,887
It's, uh...
84
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:24,759
It's... It's in my boot.
85
00:05:24,846 --> 00:05:26,195
May I take it off?
86
00:05:27,152 --> 00:05:28,937
Well, very well,
if you must.
87
00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:34,551
It's a bit hard,
Your Highness.
88
00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:36,423
I haven't had it
off in a year.
89
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:37,815
Yeah, and I can't
say I'm surprised.
90
00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:39,513
[FLY BUZZING]
91
00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:45,693
"Oh Mighty Sultan,
92
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:48,870
"A certain
Christopher Columbus,
93
00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:50,959
"who has the
map-making shop
next to me,
94
00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:53,396
"claims he can reach
The Indies by sea."
95
00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:55,485
By sea!
By sea?
96
00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:57,922
But if he succeeds,
no trade will pass
through Turkey!
97
00:05:58,009 --> 00:05:59,446
And we should be ruined!
98
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,056
Ruined!
99
00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:03,406
Summon Fatima
the Circassian.
100
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:05,277
[GONG]
101
00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:12,110
[BELLY DANCING MUSIC]
102
00:06:32,435 --> 00:06:34,524
You rang,
Oh Mighty One?
103
00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:37,701
Wow. Fatima.
104
00:06:37,788 --> 00:06:39,877
You're off to Lisbon
on our swiftest galley!
105
00:06:39,964 --> 00:06:42,706
There, you must meet with
Achmed the shoemaker.
106
00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:44,578
I want you to keep an
eye on his doings.
107
00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:45,579
As you command,
108
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,494
Oh Mighty One.
109
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:50,584
I cannot emphasize
the seriousness of
your mission.
110
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:53,891
For should this
mariner Columbus find
a way by sea to
111
00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:55,545
The Indies,
we shall all
be ruined!
112
00:06:55,632 --> 00:06:56,416
And I shall be
forced to make
113
00:06:57,504 --> 00:06:58,766
drastic cuts.
114
00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:02,596
Where's The Wazir?
115
00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:04,728
Well, he was here,
but I think you put
the wind up him.
116
00:07:04,815 --> 00:07:06,164
Then it all depends on you.
117
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:07,862
Fatima.
118
00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:10,255
Should this Columbus
have a route...
119
00:07:10,342 --> 00:07:11,909
Be assured.
120
00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:14,042
I shall get my
hand on it.
121
00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:15,086
Mmm...
122
00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:16,131
Good girl.
123
00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:28,709
MAN: Christopher Columbus?
124
00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:30,362
At your service.
125
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,929
I'm told you're Italian.
126
00:07:32,016 --> 00:07:33,453
Oh, indeed I am,
sir. Muah!
127
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:34,845
From Genoa.
128
00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:37,369
Hmm, well, I'm
planning an
expedition.
129
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,936
Fancy that.
So am I.
130
00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:41,069
Oh, where to?
131
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:44,681
I seek a route
across the great sea
of gloom to China
132
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:47,205
and The Indies.
Do you indeed?
133
00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:50,121
Well, I'm off to Italy,
and I seek a good,
reliable man.
134
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:52,733
Oh, well in that case,
please be seated.
135
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,517
And I shall ask
my brother what
we have in stock.
136
00:07:54,604 --> 00:07:55,910
Ah, thank you.
137
00:07:57,172 --> 00:07:59,566
Customer wants
a map of Italy.
138
00:07:59,653 --> 00:08:01,393
No, we've sold out.
Tell him to come
back next week.
139
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,265
No, he wants it now.
140
00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:04,788
Chris, you can't sell
a map of Italy if we
don't have one.
141
00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:06,094
Who can't?
142
00:08:08,444 --> 00:08:09,532
Here we are, sir.
143
00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:10,707
One map of Italy,
144
00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:12,709
500 maravedis.
145
00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:13,971
Well, let me
see it first.
146
00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:19,847
There we are.
147
00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:21,805
Ho, ho.
La
bella Italia.
148
00:08:22,632 --> 00:08:24,068
I can't take
that home!
149
00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:25,113
Why, what's
wrong with it?
150
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:26,897
Well, look at it!
151
00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:29,291
Yeah, well
they've had a bit
of soil erosion,
152
00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:31,511
made it go in
a bit there.
153
00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:34,035
And the volcanic activity
down there, it made it
go out a bit.
154
00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:35,863
We can have it
touched up for you.
155
00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:38,387
I'm referring to
the naked mermaids.
156
00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:39,301
We could have them
touched up, as well.
157
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,701
Achmed the shoemaker,
158
00:08:47,788 --> 00:08:49,572
barber and surgeon?
159
00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:50,965
Christian convert?
160
00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:55,926
Thank you.
And cobblers
to the Pope.
161
00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:02,106
Take a seat, sir.
No waiting.
162
00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:04,021
Fatima waits
for no man.
163
00:09:04,108 --> 00:09:05,457
[SCREAMS]
164
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,242
Fatima! What are
you doing here?
165
00:09:07,329 --> 00:09:08,373
ACHMED: What's happening?
166
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:09,505
I have come from
the Sultan.
167
00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:11,333
You cut my
ear off!
168
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:17,121
[LOUDLY] Don't worry,
sir. I'll soon stick
it back on.
169
00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:21,778
Another complaint
about your maps.
170
00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:23,258
Who from?
The Cardinal.
171
00:09:23,345 --> 00:09:24,389
What, too many
mermaids?
172
00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:26,914
No. Not enough cherubs. Ohh!
173
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:29,438
You know, I tell you,
the sooner we find
a route to The Indies
174
00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:31,309
and get out of this
business, the better!
175
00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:33,268
Well, I'm off to
Italy next week.
176
00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:36,488
Michelangelo wants to do
me up on the ceiling.
177
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,578
Well, you mind you
hang onto something
while you're up there.
178
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,449
Now, listen.
179
00:09:40,536 --> 00:09:43,626
The Sultan has sent
me here to be in
charge of operations.
180
00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,367
Well, you weren't
much help with
the ear.
181
00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:47,412
What news of Columbus?
182
00:09:47,499 --> 00:09:48,762
Not a lot.
183
00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:50,198
But do you keep him
under observation?
184
00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:52,504
Yeah. Of course.
185
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:53,767
By what means?
186
00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,382
What a giant step
in espionage.
187
00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:02,732
Yeah, well I was 20 years
in naval intelligence.
188
00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:07,084
[BURLESQUE STYLE
INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
189
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:15,440
Do you mind
if I look?
190
00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:16,528
There's nothing
to look at.
191
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,618
Then why are
you so keen?
192
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,532
That's how I get
to the bottom of
his enterprises.
193
00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:27,539
Do you think the
Sultan pays you to
look at naked women?
194
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:28,279
What naked women?
195
00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:31,282
Well, that's it
for today.
196
00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:32,980
Ow!
197
00:10:33,981 --> 00:10:34,764
FATIMA: Serves you right.
198
00:10:35,939 --> 00:10:38,376
[DOG BARKING]
199
00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:40,248
Good day, sir.
I believe you are
Christopher Columbus.
200
00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:41,379
That is correct, sir.
201
00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:43,425
I am Mordecai Mendoza,
202
00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:45,688
formerly of the Jewish
faith but now a convert
to Christianity.
203
00:10:45,775 --> 00:10:47,298
Are you collecting
for something?
204
00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:49,605
Collecting? No, no, no.
I've come here to help you.
205
00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:53,000
I understand that you are
seeking a safe passage across
the great sea of gloom?
206
00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:54,610
Yes.
207
00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:57,395
This, sir, is an
ancient Hebrew
manuscript
208
00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:59,702
the book of Moishe
the navigator.
209
00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:01,573
Moishe the navigator?
210
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:04,881
The first man to sail
around the world,
in the year 207 BC.
211
00:11:04,968 --> 00:11:06,143
That's incredible!
212
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:07,754
Where can we
talk in private?
213
00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:11,279
WOMAN: Ooh!
214
00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:15,762
I knew there was
a route to The Indies,
now I've found it!
215
00:11:15,849 --> 00:11:16,980
It's in Hebrew!
216
00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:18,329
It might as well
be in Chinese!
217
00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:20,767
I speak that as well!
218
00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:22,856
Also, I'm a master mariner.
I have everything necessary
for the voyage.
219
00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:23,900
Good. Have you
got a ship?
220
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:25,467
Well, no,
haven't you?
221
00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:27,077
No.
Oy vey,
what a joke.
222
00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:28,122
I can't believe...
No, no!
223
00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:29,689
Hang on!
Hang on a bit!
224
00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:30,864
'Cause I can
get one!
225
00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:32,648
I can raise
the money!
226
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:35,129
I have an audience
with Queen Isabella
of Spain.
227
00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:37,044
We'll show her
the document,
travel tomorrow.
228
00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:38,915
Spain? I can't carry
this to Spain!
229
00:11:39,002 --> 00:11:40,395
Why not?
The Spanish Inquisition.
230
00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:41,396
I'll be arrested!
231
00:11:41,483 --> 00:11:43,224
No! You are a convert!
232
00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:45,313
Well, they're making
it especially hard
for converts.
233
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:48,403
Any convert found with
a book or a document in
Hebrew is burned alive!
234
00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:50,231
Look, perhaps it's best
if I took the document.
235
00:11:50,318 --> 00:11:51,580
Will you carry
this to Spain?
236
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,234
Don't worry!
I won't steal it!
237
00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:54,452
I know you won't!
238
00:11:54,539 --> 00:11:55,279
I'm coming with you.
239
00:11:58,152 --> 00:12:00,589
Inform the Sultan
we leave for Spain.
240
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:07,727
[RELIGIOUS CHANTING]
241
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:11,469
MONKS: [CHANTING] We are
assembled here before you.
242
00:12:11,556 --> 00:12:15,343
To ask your blessing.
243
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:16,953
Answer me in turn.
244
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,042
PRIEST: What is the
purpose of our order?
245
00:12:19,129 --> 00:12:21,088
[CHANTING]
To strike terror
246
00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:23,873
into the hearts of
Jews and Muslims.
247
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,875
And how is this
to be done?
248
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:28,443
By interrogation.
249
00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:31,881
And torture.
250
00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:33,361
And how are
they to be
251
00:12:33,448 --> 00:12:34,754
detected?
252
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:37,669
By offering them
forbidden food.
253
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:41,325
Such as pork and ham.
254
00:12:41,412 --> 00:12:42,196
[BELL CHIMES]
255
00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:44,502
Here! Where's he going?
256
00:12:44,589 --> 00:12:48,332
ALL: [CHANTING]
To cut the ham sandwiches.
257
00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:52,902
MAN: And stay out!
[DOOR SLAMS]
258
00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:54,425
Hey, what's that?
259
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:55,775
Will you stop
worrying?
260
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:57,907
Tomorrow we show
the Queen the scroll.
261
00:12:57,994 --> 00:12:59,604
After that, you'll
be under her
protection.
262
00:12:59,691 --> 00:13:01,258
That's tomorrow,
how about tonight?
263
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,001
Just keep walking,
leave everything to me.
264
00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:06,350
Good evening,
brothers.
265
00:13:07,177 --> 00:13:08,744
[BOTH LAUGHING NERVOUSLY]
266
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:11,921
MAN: A moment.
267
00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:16,883
Would you care
for a ham
sandwich?
268
00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:20,190
Oh, we'd love one.
269
00:13:34,161 --> 00:13:35,031
I can't eat this.
270
00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:37,120
And why not?
271
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,297
There's no mustard on it.
272
00:13:41,342 --> 00:13:42,647
No mustard on it!
273
00:13:42,734 --> 00:13:43,735
Well, there wasn't!
274
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,389
Mine was covered in fluff!
275
00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:47,391
But I ate it.
276
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:50,742
Help the poor, sir?
Help the starving
and the needy.
277
00:13:55,747 --> 00:13:57,314
Oh! Thanks, thank you.
278
00:13:57,401 --> 00:13:58,576
Sleep well.
279
00:13:59,577 --> 00:14:00,622
[MAN CHUCKLES]
280
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,672
[WHISPERS] Shh!
I'll search the room.
281
00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:09,109
You watch out
for the others.
282
00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:36,614
[SNORES]
283
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:43,883
They're coming!
284
00:14:58,114 --> 00:14:59,420
Oh! What are you
doing in there?
285
00:15:01,857 --> 00:15:04,033
I came for a
further contribution.
286
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,078
And did he give
you one?
287
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,384
Good night,
gentlemen.
288
00:15:14,435 --> 00:15:17,742
But, Columbus, we are
an impoverished country.
289
00:15:17,829 --> 00:15:19,570
Exactly, sire!
290
00:15:19,657 --> 00:15:23,052
And the only answer
to Spain's problem
is to speculate.
291
00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:26,055
One must speculate
to accumulate.
292
00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:30,842
Unfortunately, one has to
accumulate before one can
afford to speculate.
293
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:34,281
Precisely, sire! And,
how better to accumulate
than to acquire,
294
00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:38,502
in one fell swoop,
all the treasures
of The Indies.
295
00:15:38,589 --> 00:15:41,244
How right you are,
Columbus. How wise!
296
00:15:42,419 --> 00:15:44,769
What makes you
think he's up to it?
297
00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:46,989
I have seen his
testimonials.
298
00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:49,296
Hmm, yeah, I'm
sure you have.
299
00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:53,039
But we can't afford it.
300
00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:56,390
Perhaps if we economized
on certain articles
around the court.
301
00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:00,611
Oh... Yes...
302
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,051
Esmeralda!
303
00:16:05,138 --> 00:16:06,269
My dear!
304
00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:07,531
How are you?
305
00:16:07,618 --> 00:16:09,185
Oh, very well.
306
00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:11,318
My husband, the count
307
00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:12,841
has got the Canaries.
308
00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:16,845
Oh, dear! Poor man!
Is he in much pain?
309
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:19,500
His cousin, the King,
has made him governor
310
00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:21,545
of the Canary Islands.
311
00:16:21,632 --> 00:16:23,243
Oh! How nice.
312
00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:24,331
Mmm-hmm-hmm...
313
00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:25,593
When will you sail?
314
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,030
Next week.
It's such a nuisance.
315
00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:30,772
Because later in the year
we have to come back.
316
00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:32,382
Why?
My daughter, Maria
317
00:16:32,469 --> 00:16:33,775
is to wed
318
00:16:33,862 --> 00:16:34,994
the Duke of
Costa Brava.
319
00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:36,996
What, him?
320
00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:40,608
Now... [STAMMERING]
321
00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:41,609
I beg your pardon, madam.
322
00:16:41,696 --> 00:16:43,002
But he's... He's...
323
00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:45,482
He's in the
prime of life.
324
00:16:45,569 --> 00:16:47,571
And one of the
richest men in Spain,
do you know him?
325
00:16:47,658 --> 00:16:48,877
[GIGGLING NERVOUSLY]
Of course.
326
00:16:49,182 --> 00:16:50,096
Chiquita!
327
00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:54,361
GUARD: Later, darling.
328
00:16:56,189 --> 00:16:57,320
Milady.
329
00:16:57,407 --> 00:17:00,497
You are here to
chaperone Maria.
330
00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:01,585
Yes, milady.
331
00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:04,066
Remember, men who
332
00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:08,157
seduce young women
lurk everywhere.
333
00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:11,639
Yes, milady. That is
why I was keeping my
eye on the soldiers.
334
00:17:25,566 --> 00:17:27,959
Do you await an
audience, sir?
335
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,657
No, I'm with my brother.
He's in there with
the Queen.
336
00:17:31,659 --> 00:17:33,008
You're not Spanish,
are you?
337
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:35,315
I'm Italian, actually.
Um, a painter.
338
00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:37,317
Oh, I adore art!
339
00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:39,841
Do you know per chance,
um, Leonardo da Vinci?
340
00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:42,278
Oh, Lenny? Yes, very well.
And of course, uh, Mick.
341
00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:44,933
Mick?
Michelangelo.
342
00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:46,761
And, of course,
there's Old Mona.
343
00:17:46,848 --> 00:17:48,937
Oh. So you know my mother.
344
00:17:49,024 --> 00:17:52,419
I was telling her
how you met.
345
00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:54,160
Met who? Who?
346
00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:56,336
My daughter!
Your betrothed.
347
00:17:56,423 --> 00:17:57,554
Betrothed?
Oh, yes!
348
00:17:58,903 --> 00:18:00,427
They met horse riding.
349
00:18:00,514 --> 00:18:02,298
It was love
at first sight.
350
00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:04,083
But... Is he...
351
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:06,259
Able to? I mean...
Can he...
352
00:18:06,346 --> 00:18:07,651
But of course he can!
353
00:18:07,738 --> 00:18:09,305
He has two men who
lift him on and off.
354
00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:11,133
Lift him on and off?
355
00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:13,396
What?
Of his horse,
of course!
356
00:18:13,483 --> 00:18:15,268
Very well.
357
00:18:15,355 --> 00:18:18,967
Columbus, I've been
persuaded to finance
your expedition.
358
00:18:19,054 --> 00:18:21,274
Thank you, sire!
359
00:18:21,361 --> 00:18:23,754
Have you a list of
your requirements?
360
00:18:23,841 --> 00:18:25,843
I have them here.
I'll make it brief.
361
00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:28,368
Firstly, a ship and supplies.
362
00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:32,720
Secondly, that I be appointed
Lord High Admiral and
raised to the nobility.
363
00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:35,592
Thirdly, that I am made
Viceroy and Governor
of all The Indies,
364
00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:39,901
including Japan, China
and anywhere else I find.
365
00:18:39,988 --> 00:18:40,902
Plus!
366
00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:41,990
Plus what?
367
00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:43,296
10% of all the treasure.
368
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:45,298
Guards!
369
00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:47,169
Remove him!
370
00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:48,866
No, sire, look...
You're making a
big mistake.
371
00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:50,825
Stop it! Will you let me go!
There's no need for that.
372
00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:52,957
You're throwing
away a fortune!
373
00:18:53,044 --> 00:18:54,045
Ha!
374
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,612
How did it go?
375
00:18:55,699 --> 00:18:56,700
What's happening?
They're thinking about it.
376
00:19:04,491 --> 00:19:05,970
Would you mind
moving that back?
377
00:19:06,057 --> 00:19:07,711
I can't see anything.
378
00:19:08,538 --> 00:19:10,801
You never can.
379
00:19:10,888 --> 00:19:13,152
Columbus offers you all
the wealth of The Indies
and you have him thrown out.
380
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,328
He wanted 10%.
381
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:18,461
[CHUCKLES] 10%!
382
00:19:18,548 --> 00:19:20,420
Leaving you 90!
383
00:19:20,507 --> 00:19:23,553
90% of all
the wealth
of The Indies!
384
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,600
Do you have any
idea how much gold
there is in China?
385
00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:29,951
[SIGHING] No... Do you?
386
00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:31,605
There has to
be more than
you've got.
387
00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:33,955
One candle between
the two of us.
388
00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:35,739
Never mind what
I've got.
389
00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:38,264
What's this Columbus
got that you're after?
390
00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:41,005
Me after?
391
00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:43,573
What about that
brazen hussy
at the court?
392
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:46,533
I see she's wearing
a new gold necklace.
393
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:50,319
And where did she
get that from?
Nobody knows, do they?
394
00:19:50,406 --> 00:19:52,626
No wonder there's no
gold left in the treasury.
395
00:19:52,713 --> 00:19:55,977
If you're going to
smother all your fancy
women in gold,
396
00:19:56,064 --> 00:19:57,805
then let us bring
it in from China!
397
00:19:57,892 --> 00:19:58,893
Wholesale!
398
00:19:58,980 --> 00:19:59,981
Yes!
399
00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:02,723
Oh! Oh! Oh! My cahoneys!
400
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:05,813
Now, Columbus.
Father Torquemada has
read your document.
401
00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:08,119
But it's in Hebrew.
402
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,339
Yes, well, he had a
Jewish grandmother.
403
00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:11,949
FERDINAND: Didn't he?
404
00:20:12,036 --> 00:20:14,648
At the seminary
I attended,
it was compulsory.
405
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,780
What, you mean they all
had Jewish grandmothers?
406
00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:18,129
Ferdinand!
407
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,567
Remember to whom
you are talking!
408
00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:22,699
The Grand Inquisitor!
409
00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:25,398
ISABELLA: He has the
power of life and death over
everybody in Spain.
410
00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:27,226
Oh, I'm so sorry.
411
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:28,662
To continue...
412
00:20:28,749 --> 00:20:30,229
Father Torquemada
413
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:31,969
confirms
414
00:20:32,056 --> 00:20:34,842
this document is the
record of an early voyage.
415
00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:36,060
And because of this,
416
00:20:37,061 --> 00:20:38,585
we are reconsidering
417
00:20:38,672 --> 00:20:39,542
your terms.
418
00:20:40,717 --> 00:20:41,675
Come closer,
Christopher.
419
00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:43,633
Ah!
420
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,244
It's Christopher now.
421
00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:46,506
Christopher!
422
00:20:46,593 --> 00:20:48,247
We shall finance
your expedition.
423
00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:50,161
And may God go with you.
424
00:21:01,303 --> 00:21:03,784
Ha, ha! This is it!
425
00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:05,133
The
Santa Maria!
426
00:21:05,568 --> 00:21:06,352
Fantastic!
427
00:21:07,048 --> 00:21:09,355
Where's the crew?
428
00:21:09,442 --> 00:21:11,400
Well, Mor is to be navigator
and sailing master, you'll
be the master's mate.
429
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:12,445
What, me?
430
00:21:14,011 --> 00:21:15,926
And that's it, is it?
431
00:21:16,013 --> 00:21:17,232
Well, so far, but we'll have
no bother rounding up
the rest.
432
00:21:17,406 --> 00:21:18,364
Pheasant.
433
00:21:19,321 --> 00:21:20,279
[BOTH GROANING]
434
00:21:21,671 --> 00:21:23,282
Now roll up. Roll up.
435
00:21:23,369 --> 00:21:26,241
It's Ceylon for
a voyage of a lifetime.
436
00:21:26,328 --> 00:21:28,852
See the wonders
of The Indies.
437
00:21:28,939 --> 00:21:30,941
See mermaids
and their frolics.
438
00:21:31,028 --> 00:21:33,030
See lovely ladies from China.
439
00:21:34,205 --> 00:21:36,164
Two-headed men from Japan.
440
00:21:37,687 --> 00:21:39,254
One-legged cannibals,
441
00:21:39,341 --> 00:21:40,951
victims of their own gluttony.
442
00:21:44,955 --> 00:21:46,740
Thank you.
443
00:21:46,827 --> 00:21:48,611
And it's all on the inside.
444
00:21:48,698 --> 00:21:52,093
All on the inside of
the
Santa Maria.
445
00:21:52,180 --> 00:21:53,921
I think you're flogging
a dead horse, ducky.
446
00:21:54,008 --> 00:21:56,706
It's the Inquisition, darling.
447
00:21:56,793 --> 00:21:59,579
All the sailors
are busy taking the Jews
and Arabs to Morocco.
448
00:21:59,666 --> 00:22:01,276
They don't mind what they pay.
449
00:22:01,363 --> 00:22:03,409
Yes, but what about the ones
who can't afford to pay?
450
00:22:03,496 --> 00:22:04,932
Oh!
451
00:22:05,019 --> 00:22:06,586
You mean like that
lot over there?
452
00:22:06,673 --> 00:22:09,240
Wonderful things...
[INAUDIBLE CHATTER]
453
00:22:11,852 --> 00:22:13,332
Lovely gents' outfits.
454
00:22:13,419 --> 00:22:14,985
Nearly new.
Carpet ornaments.
455
00:22:15,072 --> 00:22:16,291
Hardly been walked on.
456
00:22:16,378 --> 00:22:18,162
Candle stubs, hardly been lit.
457
00:22:18,249 --> 00:22:19,773
Turkish delight.
Lovely Turkish delight.
458
00:22:19,860 --> 00:22:21,340
Hardly been chewed.
459
00:22:21,427 --> 00:22:23,516
Do any of you lively lads
wish to go to Morocco?
460
00:22:24,517 --> 00:22:26,170
We can't afford the fare.
461
00:22:26,257 --> 00:22:28,303
Then sign on as crew.
Oh, we're not sailors.
462
00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:30,218
But you can be.
463
00:22:30,305 --> 00:22:33,090
See, I am in charge of
a government-funded
nautical academy.
464
00:22:33,177 --> 00:22:35,092
The training ship,
Santa Maria.
465
00:22:35,179 --> 00:22:35,963
We sail on Wednesday.
466
00:22:38,008 --> 00:22:40,228
[ALL WHISPERING]
467
00:22:40,315 --> 00:22:41,577
Can we think about it?
468
00:22:41,664 --> 00:22:43,449
Of course you can.
469
00:22:43,536 --> 00:22:45,146
The Inquisition won't be
here till Thursday.
470
00:22:49,019 --> 00:22:51,587
Spare a copper for
the snake charmer, sir.
471
00:22:51,674 --> 00:22:53,415
Bring you very
good luck.
472
00:22:53,502 --> 00:22:55,417
I can't see any snake.
No snake?
473
00:22:55,504 --> 00:22:57,593
No.
Oh, my God. He has escaped.
474
00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:59,943
Oh, sir. He has
gone up your tunic.
475
00:23:00,030 --> 00:23:02,206
Oh! Madam, that
is no snake.
476
00:23:02,293 --> 00:23:03,643
Sorry. You very big boy.
477
00:23:03,730 --> 00:23:05,601
Oh, I found him.
478
00:23:05,688 --> 00:23:07,081
That's no snake either.
479
00:23:07,168 --> 00:23:09,953
Hey, hey, you.
Leave my sister alone.
480
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:10,954
ACHMED: She's an
honest woman.
481
00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:13,783
Achmed.
482
00:23:15,306 --> 00:23:17,396
Don't worry. I have it.
483
00:23:17,483 --> 00:23:18,484
Let me see.
484
00:23:20,921 --> 00:23:22,923
This isn't in Hebrew,
it's in Spanish.
485
00:23:23,010 --> 00:23:24,272
What does it say?
486
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:26,579
To bold, adventure
loving seamen,
487
00:23:26,666 --> 00:23:28,363
Columbus needs you.
488
00:23:30,931 --> 00:23:32,019
MAN: Throw those sheets, lad.
489
00:23:33,499 --> 00:23:34,456
You.
490
00:23:36,023 --> 00:23:38,242
I, sir, am the master's mate.
491
00:23:38,329 --> 00:23:39,896
I don't care who you are
friendly with, I wish
to see Columbus.
492
00:23:41,855 --> 00:23:43,813
Columbus.
Yes.
493
00:23:43,900 --> 00:23:46,773
I'm Don Juan Felipe,
I've been appointed
by the King
494
00:23:46,860 --> 00:23:48,557
to look after
the ship's books.
495
00:23:48,644 --> 00:23:50,385
Oh, the librarian.
496
00:23:50,472 --> 00:23:51,778
Well, we haven't got much.
497
00:23:51,865 --> 00:23:54,258
How To Avoid Sea Serpents.
498
00:23:54,345 --> 00:23:56,260
Madame Fifi's Guide
to the Pleasures of the...
No, Captain.
499
00:23:56,347 --> 00:23:58,524
By books, I mean accounts.
500
00:23:58,611 --> 00:24:01,657
I'm to keep strict control
of your expenditure.
501
00:24:01,744 --> 00:24:04,138
Now, how many crew
do you have?
502
00:24:04,225 --> 00:24:06,096
Well, not as many as I'd like.
503
00:24:06,183 --> 00:24:07,750
Well, the King
has sent you
this royal warrant.
504
00:24:07,837 --> 00:24:08,969
That will help you
man the ship.
505
00:24:09,056 --> 00:24:10,753
I use the word "man"
506
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:12,625
in its fullest sense,
you understand.
507
00:24:14,104 --> 00:24:16,237
Now, kindly have
someone to show me
to my cabin.
508
00:24:16,324 --> 00:24:18,282
I'm sailing with you.
509
00:24:18,369 --> 00:24:20,502
Oh, really, I don't think
you'd enjoy that experience.
510
00:24:20,589 --> 00:24:22,199
Why not? I insist.
511
00:24:22,286 --> 00:24:24,375
Single cabin, port-side.
512
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,943
Well, we are rather crowded.
Perhaps something...
513
00:24:27,030 --> 00:24:29,337
Nice. A mid-ship's...
514
00:24:30,730 --> 00:24:33,297
[MAKING PENSIVE SOUND]
515
00:24:34,821 --> 00:24:36,126
MAN: Tickets for the hanging.
516
00:24:37,650 --> 00:24:40,522
[BELL RINGING]
517
00:24:40,609 --> 00:24:44,091
MAN: Tuesday and Thursday.
Reduced prices for children.
518
00:24:44,352 --> 00:24:45,962
Oh, hello.
519
00:24:46,049 --> 00:24:47,573
Are you the doorkeeper?
520
00:24:47,660 --> 00:24:49,009
No, I'm the Governor.
521
00:24:49,096 --> 00:24:50,924
It's the doorkeeper's
day off.
522
00:24:51,011 --> 00:24:53,013
Well, I have an order
from the King,
523
00:24:53,100 --> 00:24:55,102
which offers a free
pardon to any inmate
524
00:24:55,189 --> 00:24:56,625
who volunteers
to sail with us.
525
00:24:57,365 --> 00:24:58,975
Walk this way.
526
00:24:59,062 --> 00:25:01,064
MAN: Tickets for the hanging!
Half price for children!
527
00:25:02,370 --> 00:25:05,155
Oh.
[DISTANT SCREAMING]
528
00:25:09,551 --> 00:25:11,335
[RATS SCREECHING]
529
00:25:12,902 --> 00:25:14,774
INMATE: No. That's not...
530
00:25:19,430 --> 00:25:21,607
All right, if I can have
your attention now, please.
531
00:25:21,694 --> 00:25:24,131
Quiet, everybody.
Quiet, please, quiet.
532
00:25:25,828 --> 00:25:27,700
That's better. Now...
533
00:25:27,787 --> 00:25:30,833
Admiral Columbus is going
on a lovely sea trip.
534
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,140
And he's here to
tell us all about it.
535
00:25:33,227 --> 00:25:37,187
Gentlemen. I'm here to offer
you the chance off a lifetime.
536
00:25:37,274 --> 00:25:41,017
To break free from
these shackles.
To sail the mighty ocean.
537
00:25:41,104 --> 00:25:43,237
To feel the sun and breeze
on your faces.
538
00:25:43,933 --> 00:25:46,153
Blue skies overhead.
539
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:49,460
Fine foods, gay companions.
540
00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:51,985
And at the end of the
voyage, a chance to share
541
00:25:52,072 --> 00:25:55,292
in the untold gold
of The Indies.
542
00:25:56,903 --> 00:25:58,774
[INAUDIBLE MUTTERING]
543
00:25:58,861 --> 00:26:00,994
Doesn't that sound lovely?
544
00:26:01,081 --> 00:26:02,125
I do wish I was
coming with you.
545
00:26:03,692 --> 00:26:06,477
This is Pepi,
the Portuguese Poisoner.
546
00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:07,783
How do you do,
Mr. Columbus?
547
00:26:07,870 --> 00:26:09,524
Does he only
poison Portuguese?
548
00:26:09,611 --> 00:26:11,482
[CHUCKLING]
No, he'll poison anyone.
549
00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:12,832
He's a wonderful cook.
550
00:26:12,919 --> 00:26:15,312
Unless he gets
in one of his moods.
551
00:26:15,399 --> 00:26:17,097
They're hanging him Thursday.
552
00:26:17,184 --> 00:26:19,795
This is our
Andalusian arsonist.
553
00:26:19,882 --> 00:26:21,144
Tonto the Torch.
All right.
554
00:26:22,232 --> 00:26:23,669
He's really quite safe.
555
00:26:23,756 --> 00:26:25,714
They're hanging him Thursday.
556
00:26:25,801 --> 00:26:28,151
And this is Marco
the Cereal Killer.
557
00:26:28,717 --> 00:26:30,501
A cereal killer?
558
00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:33,417
Beats his victims to death
with a sack of rice crispies.
559
00:26:33,504 --> 00:26:34,897
INMATE: Oh.
[CREAKING AND SQUEAKING]
560
00:26:34,984 --> 00:26:36,203
I've done me
back in again.
561
00:26:36,290 --> 00:26:37,987
Please.
562
00:26:38,074 --> 00:26:39,380
I do wish you'd take him.
COLUMBUS: All right, then.
563
00:26:40,163 --> 00:26:42,078
So glad you said that.
564
00:26:42,165 --> 00:26:44,907
BOTH: Because they were
hanging him Thursday.
565
00:26:44,994 --> 00:26:46,953
MORDECAI: Come on, lads.
Put your backs into it.
566
00:26:50,565 --> 00:26:51,305
Oh, hello.
567
00:26:52,045 --> 00:26:53,307
Hello.
568
00:26:53,394 --> 00:26:54,743
Strike their chains
off and, uh,
569
00:26:54,830 --> 00:26:56,397
sign them on.
570
00:26:56,484 --> 00:26:58,268
Come along, boys.
We'll soon make you comfy.
571
00:26:58,355 --> 00:27:03,143
MORDECAI: Bring that barrel
over here! Quickly now!
572
00:27:03,230 --> 00:27:05,145
You mean you want
to come with us?
573
00:27:05,232 --> 00:27:07,495
Oh, I'd love to.
You made it all
sound so lovely.
574
00:27:07,582 --> 00:27:09,366
Well, let's see
what we can offer.
575
00:27:09,453 --> 00:27:11,412
Oh, I know, welfare officer.
576
00:27:11,499 --> 00:27:12,979
And what does he do?
577
00:27:13,066 --> 00:27:14,763
Well, if anyone has
to be flogged. He flogs them.
578
00:27:14,850 --> 00:27:16,678
If anybody has to be hanged,
he hangs them.
579
00:27:16,765 --> 00:27:18,462
I can do that
standing on my head.
580
00:27:18,549 --> 00:27:19,812
[CHUCKLES]
Sign here.
581
00:27:26,819 --> 00:27:28,647
[CREW STRUGGLING]
582
00:27:30,910 --> 00:27:32,128
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Come in.
583
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:37,960
Ahem.
Ah.
584
00:27:38,047 --> 00:27:39,614
Have you ever
been to sea before?
585
00:27:39,701 --> 00:27:41,398
Oh, yes, sir.
I'm an able seaman.
586
00:27:41,485 --> 00:27:43,487
Good.
800 maravedis.
587
00:27:44,314 --> 00:27:45,054
Sign here.
588
00:27:46,665 --> 00:27:48,318
Oh, uh...
589
00:27:48,405 --> 00:27:49,798
I can't read or write.
590
00:27:49,885 --> 00:27:51,539
Oh, just make your mark. Mark.
591
00:27:53,976 --> 00:27:55,282
Can you count?
So can I.
592
00:27:57,458 --> 00:27:58,372
How many fingers?
593
00:27:59,982 --> 00:28:01,244
One.
594
00:28:01,331 --> 00:28:02,898
Uh, two.
595
00:28:03,377 --> 00:28:04,987
Uh, three.
596
00:28:05,074 --> 00:28:06,380
Very good.
Keep going.
597
00:28:06,467 --> 00:28:07,903
[MUMBLING]
Eight!
598
00:28:07,990 --> 00:28:09,905
Eight, exactly.
599
00:28:09,992 --> 00:28:12,212
And here's your 800 maravedis.
600
00:28:12,299 --> 00:28:13,387
One, two,
601
00:28:13,474 --> 00:28:15,084
three, eight.
602
00:28:15,171 --> 00:28:16,564
Oh, thank you.
603
00:28:16,651 --> 00:28:17,304
Thank you very much.
604
00:28:19,262 --> 00:28:20,655
Well, hello, sailor.
605
00:28:21,569 --> 00:28:23,266
I'm not a sailor,
606
00:28:23,353 --> 00:28:25,747
I'm the representative of the
King of Spain. I'm Don Juan.
607
00:28:25,834 --> 00:28:27,270
I'm Juan, too.
608
00:28:27,357 --> 00:28:29,969
Juan Diego.
I'm the welfare officer.
609
00:28:30,056 --> 00:28:31,622
I take it we're sharing.
610
00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:34,495
I was told I was in
a cabin of my own.
611
00:28:34,582 --> 00:28:36,584
Yes, well, I was
told that as well.
612
00:28:36,671 --> 00:28:38,673
It's obviously
a double cabin.
613
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:40,893
It's so much more roomy
than the Captain's.
614
00:28:40,980 --> 00:28:43,069
I tell you what.
You have this end.
615
00:28:43,156 --> 00:28:45,332
I'll have the other.
And if you get lonely,
616
00:28:45,419 --> 00:28:46,725
you can always
come up my end.
617
00:28:46,812 --> 00:28:48,465
[CREW MEMBER SHOUTING]
618
00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:53,732
Loose it, would you?
619
00:28:53,819 --> 00:28:54,950
Yes, with pleasure.
620
00:28:57,257 --> 00:28:58,954
Thanks for the hand, sir!
Look what they sent down.
621
00:29:01,914 --> 00:29:04,003
A barrel of wine
for the two of us.
622
00:29:04,090 --> 00:29:05,656
Come on, lads.
623
00:29:05,744 --> 00:29:07,310
We've got to get everything
stowed by sunset.
624
00:29:09,399 --> 00:29:10,705
We're sailing tomorrow.
625
00:29:10,792 --> 00:29:12,272
SAILOR: All right,
hold steady.
626
00:29:12,359 --> 00:29:15,144
Stow away.
Let it go.
627
00:29:16,624 --> 00:29:17,668
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Come in.
628
00:29:20,846 --> 00:29:22,412
Hello, Captain. Remember me?
629
00:29:22,499 --> 00:29:24,675
Your old neighbor.
Why, yes.
630
00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:26,939
I've heard about your voyages
and I'd really like to join.
631
00:29:27,026 --> 00:29:29,419
Right. Well, let see what
vacancies we have.
632
00:29:29,506 --> 00:29:32,074
I've also got my
nephew with me.
Oh, he's a bright lad.
633
00:29:32,161 --> 00:29:33,946
He wants to come also.
634
00:29:34,033 --> 00:29:36,644
Well, we need a steward.
Plus, a surgeon,
635
00:29:36,731 --> 00:29:38,515
a shipwright, and a sailmaker.
636
00:29:38,602 --> 00:29:40,213
I'll take them.
Which one?
637
00:29:40,474 --> 00:29:42,084
All of them.
638
00:29:42,171 --> 00:29:43,999
I'm not paying you
three men's wages.
639
00:29:45,522 --> 00:29:46,828
How about two?
All right, two.
640
00:29:46,915 --> 00:29:48,699
But I'm not paying
your nephew.
641
00:29:48,787 --> 00:29:50,136
That's all right.
The Sultan pays him.
642
00:29:51,050 --> 00:29:52,399
What?
I said, um...
643
00:29:53,530 --> 00:29:54,618
He'd be insulted
if you paid him.
644
00:29:54,705 --> 00:29:56,142
Well, where is he?
645
00:29:56,229 --> 00:29:57,447
Oh, he's outside.
I'll bring him in.
646
00:29:57,534 --> 00:29:58,884
Tima!
647
00:29:59,275 --> 00:30:00,886
Tima?
648
00:30:00,973 --> 00:30:04,367
Uh, yeah.
It's short for Tima-Thee.
649
00:30:04,454 --> 00:30:06,630
Well, Tima-Thee.
650
00:30:06,717 --> 00:30:08,458
Sign here.
Thank you, Captain.
651
00:30:11,244 --> 00:30:12,288
Bottoms up.
652
00:30:14,638 --> 00:30:15,552
Ah.
653
00:30:16,858 --> 00:30:18,294
What's in that one?
654
00:30:18,381 --> 00:30:19,121
Ah.
655
00:30:23,996 --> 00:30:25,954
Pickled onions.
656
00:30:26,041 --> 00:30:28,652
I must say,
they're spoiling us.
657
00:30:28,739 --> 00:30:30,176
All these provisions,
658
00:30:30,263 --> 00:30:31,307
just for the two of us.
659
00:30:34,528 --> 00:30:36,356
MORDECAI: Now loose it,
would you?
Aye, aye, sir.
660
00:30:41,970 --> 00:30:44,277
DIEGO: Take her up!
CREWMAN: Heave!
661
00:30:46,192 --> 00:30:48,934
[DIEGO EXCLAIMING]
662
00:30:52,633 --> 00:30:53,329
Lower the ropes.
663
00:30:55,375 --> 00:30:56,028
[COUGHING]
664
00:30:58,726 --> 00:31:00,336
That wine is strong.
665
00:31:00,423 --> 00:31:01,860
I went quite dizzy
for a moment.
666
00:31:03,513 --> 00:31:04,166
[SNORING]
667
00:31:20,704 --> 00:31:22,228
[WHISPERING]
Now we're on board,
what do we do?
668
00:31:22,315 --> 00:31:25,318
Now we have to
sabotage the voyage.
669
00:31:25,405 --> 00:31:27,363
Did you bring the poison?
670
00:31:27,450 --> 00:31:28,799
Of course.
671
00:31:31,454 --> 00:31:32,716
Well...
672
00:31:32,803 --> 00:31:35,023
We sail on the morning tide.
673
00:31:35,110 --> 00:31:37,112
Have you got the first leg
of the journey mapped?
674
00:31:37,199 --> 00:31:39,767
Well, God willing.
It's not easy navigating
in Hebrew.
675
00:31:39,854 --> 00:31:41,943
If I'm not careful,
we'll be sailing backwards.
676
00:31:42,030 --> 00:31:44,206
Hey, you aloft,
get a move on!
677
00:31:45,816 --> 00:31:48,645
[CREW SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
678
00:31:53,433 --> 00:31:54,651
Shove that in the Captain.
679
00:31:55,435 --> 00:31:56,305
In the Captain?
680
00:31:57,045 --> 00:31:57,959
No.
681
00:31:59,482 --> 00:32:00,309
The capstan!
682
00:32:01,180 --> 00:32:02,790
Away anchor!
683
00:32:02,877 --> 00:32:04,226
Aye, aye, sir.
684
00:32:04,313 --> 00:32:06,098
Away anchor.
685
00:32:06,185 --> 00:32:08,927
Put your backs into it!
[STRUGGLING]
686
00:32:11,407 --> 00:32:12,931
In God's name,
687
00:32:13,975 --> 00:32:14,933
make it go.
688
00:32:15,977 --> 00:32:17,936
[CREW STRUGGLING]
689
00:32:21,809 --> 00:32:23,158
On starboard!
690
00:32:23,245 --> 00:32:24,464
On starboard!
691
00:32:26,074 --> 00:32:27,380
[CREW CHEERING]
692
00:32:30,383 --> 00:32:32,124
Well, brother,
we made it.
693
00:32:32,211 --> 00:32:34,648
We made it. We are away.
Ha, ha!
694
00:32:46,834 --> 00:32:48,444
Steady as she goes!
695
00:32:48,531 --> 00:32:49,837
Steady as she goes.
696
00:33:05,331 --> 00:33:07,115
Hello, Tonto.
697
00:33:07,202 --> 00:33:09,770
Is it true you're known as the
Andalusian arsonist?
698
00:33:09,857 --> 00:33:12,381
I have been called that. Yes.
699
00:33:12,468 --> 00:33:15,602
Then perhaps you should
do something before
this Columbus
700
00:33:15,689 --> 00:33:16,995
sails us to our doom.
701
00:33:18,344 --> 00:33:19,736
What?
702
00:33:19,823 --> 00:33:21,129
You mean set fire?
703
00:33:21,651 --> 00:33:23,044
To the ship? [LAUGHING]
704
00:33:23,131 --> 00:33:24,698
Not completely, no.
705
00:33:24,785 --> 00:33:28,267
Just enough to make him turn
the ship back to Spain.
706
00:33:47,677 --> 00:33:49,070
Go below and check
we're watertight.
707
00:33:50,811 --> 00:33:51,768
Right.
708
00:33:54,467 --> 00:33:55,337
[SNORING]
709
00:34:02,475 --> 00:34:03,954
[METAL CLINKING]
710
00:34:11,614 --> 00:34:13,007
[WOOD SQUEAKING]
711
00:34:32,287 --> 00:34:34,942
Juan! Juan, wake up, Juan!
712
00:34:37,553 --> 00:34:39,512
Stay there, I'll get a bung.
713
00:34:41,209 --> 00:34:41,949
[CORK POPPING]
714
00:34:44,995 --> 00:34:46,475
Make way.
Aye, sir.
715
00:34:49,478 --> 00:34:51,698
Here, we just had
a leak in the hold.
716
00:34:51,785 --> 00:34:53,787
Oh, did you? Well, next time
do it over the side.
717
00:35:02,274 --> 00:35:04,450
Good morning, Captain.
718
00:35:04,537 --> 00:35:06,582
I've been counting the
ship's crew, there seems to be
several men missing.
719
00:35:06,669 --> 00:35:07,757
Missing?
Yes.
720
00:35:07,844 --> 00:35:09,194
Where is the
officer shipwright?
721
00:35:09,281 --> 00:35:10,630
He's aloft.
And what's he doing?
722
00:35:12,022 --> 00:35:14,068
He's shortening
the spritsail yard.
723
00:35:14,155 --> 00:35:16,070
The sailmaker?
Oh, he's aloft as well.
724
00:35:16,505 --> 00:35:18,507
Doing what?
725
00:35:18,594 --> 00:35:21,728
He's sewing up the slash
in the spritsail that the
shipwright made
726
00:35:21,815 --> 00:35:23,469
with his sword while he was
shortening the spritsail yard.
727
00:35:24,339 --> 00:35:25,558
And the surgeon?
728
00:35:25,645 --> 00:35:26,733
Oh, he's up there as well.
729
00:35:26,820 --> 00:35:28,561
And what's he doing?
730
00:35:28,648 --> 00:35:30,519
He's sewing up
the shipwright's shin.
731
00:35:31,999 --> 00:35:34,088
You see the sailmaker shot
the shipwright in the shin
732
00:35:34,175 --> 00:35:35,916
when he saw what he'd
done with his sword
to the spritsail.
733
00:35:36,003 --> 00:35:37,526
[COUGHING]
734
00:35:37,613 --> 00:35:39,833
Do you know what
I think, Columbus?
Tell me.
735
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:42,357
I think you are
full of shifty chicanery
and subterfuge.
736
00:35:42,444 --> 00:35:43,619
Thank you very much.
737
00:35:48,450 --> 00:35:50,104
[YELPING]
738
00:35:51,323 --> 00:35:52,498
[LAUGHING]
739
00:35:53,281 --> 00:35:54,108
Poor thing.
740
00:35:55,327 --> 00:35:56,806
Well, you are all wet.
741
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,290
Give me the poison.
742
00:36:02,377 --> 00:36:04,901
I'll add some spice
to the Captain's dinner.
743
00:36:04,988 --> 00:36:07,034
Yes, but what if
it goes wrong?
744
00:36:07,121 --> 00:36:08,035
Leave it to me.
745
00:36:12,213 --> 00:36:15,521
Hello, Pepi. Did you know this
ship was alive with rats?
746
00:36:15,608 --> 00:36:18,480
Great big, long, black, furry
things with teeth?
747
00:36:18,567 --> 00:36:20,613
Yes.
Yeah, well, I'm saving
those for goulash.
748
00:36:20,700 --> 00:36:22,702
Well, the Captain wants
to get rid of them.
749
00:36:22,789 --> 00:36:26,096
He's given me this
very powerful rat poison.
750
00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:29,230
You, being the expert would
know best how to use it.
751
00:36:29,317 --> 00:36:31,406
Yeah, yeah. You're right
me old shipmate.
752
00:36:31,493 --> 00:36:33,191
[LAUGHING]
Leave it with me, eh.
753
00:36:35,149 --> 00:36:37,760
Boys, all out!
We've grub! Grub up!
754
00:36:37,847 --> 00:36:40,110
Grub up!
ALL: Grub up!
755
00:36:41,677 --> 00:36:42,765
Ah, good evening, lad.
756
00:36:42,852 --> 00:36:44,158
What's for dinner?
757
00:36:44,245 --> 00:36:46,465
The cook made it
specially for you, sir.
758
00:36:46,552 --> 00:36:49,729
It's hot pot.
759
00:36:49,816 --> 00:36:52,035
[SHIP CREAKING]
[WOOD SIZZLING]
760
00:36:53,211 --> 00:36:55,561
What the hell is that?
761
00:36:55,648 --> 00:36:57,824
I think it is
a little too hot. Sir.
762
00:36:59,260 --> 00:37:00,087
[YELPING]
763
00:37:05,048 --> 00:37:07,703
SAILOR: Two bells!
[BELL RINGING]
764
00:37:08,617 --> 00:37:10,053
So what I'm accused of then?
765
00:37:10,140 --> 00:37:11,403
Trying to poison the Captain.
766
00:37:11,490 --> 00:37:12,621
Bad boy.
767
00:37:13,274 --> 00:37:14,884
No, no.
768
00:37:14,971 --> 00:37:17,147
No, I was trying
to poison the rats.
769
00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:18,323
Must of just forgotten
to wash me hands.
770
00:37:24,851 --> 00:37:27,245
Where are we
according to Moishe?
771
00:37:27,332 --> 00:37:29,595
Now look, uh...
772
00:37:29,682 --> 00:37:34,295
"Sailing west, by southwest,
the 11th of September.
773
00:37:34,382 --> 00:37:38,952
"It was my son's 13th
birthday. He had
reached manhood.
774
00:37:39,039 --> 00:37:41,911
"Suddenly a great fog
descended upon us."
775
00:37:41,998 --> 00:37:43,522
What is it today?
776
00:37:43,609 --> 00:37:45,175
It's the 11th of September.
777
00:37:46,742 --> 00:37:50,703
"The fog was so thick
that no man had ever seen
its like before.
778
00:37:50,790 --> 00:37:54,228
"Men holding lanterns walked
into each other."
779
00:37:54,315 --> 00:37:57,100
[CRASHING]
MAN: Watch where
you are going.
780
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,801
"The compass began to swing
backwards and forwards.
781
00:38:01,888 --> 00:38:06,022
"Then suddenly went mad as if
possessed by demons."
782
00:38:07,459 --> 00:38:08,503
Post starboard.
783
00:38:08,982 --> 00:38:10,200
No, port.
784
00:38:10,679 --> 00:38:11,767
No, starboard.
785
00:38:11,854 --> 00:38:13,073
[COMPASS SQUEAKING]
786
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:14,901
Chris, Chris!
787
00:38:14,988 --> 00:38:17,164
The compass. It's going mad.
788
00:38:17,251 --> 00:38:18,992
As if it was somehow...
Possessed by demons.
789
00:38:19,993 --> 00:38:21,081
How did you know?
790
00:38:22,952 --> 00:38:26,216
"This part of the sea has
a curse on it.
791
00:38:26,304 --> 00:38:29,132
"The area is in the
shape of a triangle.
792
00:38:29,219 --> 00:38:31,439
"Once a ship gets into it,
793
00:38:31,526 --> 00:38:34,703
"it will sail forever
in a triangular course
794
00:38:34,790 --> 00:38:36,009
"forever and ever,
795
00:38:36,096 --> 00:38:39,665
"and disappear from
the sight of man.
796
00:38:39,752 --> 00:38:42,624
"Because it was my son's
13th birthday,
797
00:38:42,711 --> 00:38:44,234
"I called it,
798
00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:46,193
"'The
Bar Mitzvah
Triangle.'"
799
00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:47,325
Bar Mitzvah
Triangle.
800
00:38:49,979 --> 00:38:53,331
"It seemed we were doomed
to sail for eternity.
801
00:38:53,418 --> 00:38:56,769
"Up one leg, down the other
and along the...
802
00:38:56,856 --> 00:38:58,901
"Hypotenuse.
803
00:38:58,988 --> 00:39:02,035
"A Greek fellow on board said
this proved something
804
00:39:02,122 --> 00:39:04,559
"but before we could
find out what,
805
00:39:04,646 --> 00:39:07,475
"he was eaten
by a sea serpent."
806
00:39:07,562 --> 00:39:10,130
If there's one thing that
scares the shit out of me,
it's sea serpents.
807
00:39:10,217 --> 00:39:12,567
"Suddenly, they were
all around us,
808
00:39:12,654 --> 00:39:16,919
"slimy, hideous creatures.
Their fangs dripping
with blood.
809
00:39:17,006 --> 00:39:19,269
"As they caught him and
crunched him up,
810
00:39:19,357 --> 00:39:23,622
"the boatman
let out one final
blood-curdling scream."
811
00:39:23,709 --> 00:39:26,494
[BLOOD-CURDLING SCREAMING]
812
00:39:30,977 --> 00:39:32,631
He dropped that
right on my foot.
813
00:39:32,718 --> 00:39:35,416
"There was only one way out
of our dreadful peril.
814
00:39:35,503 --> 00:39:40,247
"A drastic course of action,
but we had no alternative."
815
00:39:40,334 --> 00:39:42,858
Come on, go on.
Don't rush me. It's the end
of one scroll...
816
00:39:42,945 --> 00:39:45,034
Go on!
All right. Don't you start.
817
00:39:45,121 --> 00:39:47,036
For goodness sake,
I'm doing my best.
Go on, go on.
818
00:39:47,123 --> 00:39:48,951
Does he leave any clues
as to how he got out?
819
00:39:50,953 --> 00:39:53,608
"As we continued
through the fog,
820
00:39:53,695 --> 00:39:57,046
"we saw ships abandoned
by their crews.
821
00:39:57,133 --> 00:40:00,572
"Ghost ships manned
only by phantoms,
822
00:40:00,659 --> 00:40:03,096
"demons, and hobgoblins."
823
00:40:03,183 --> 00:40:05,968
Not hobgoblins!
Not them and sea serpents!
824
00:40:06,055 --> 00:40:08,144
Hang on.
Pull yourself together.
825
00:40:09,363 --> 00:40:10,277
Let's go look at the compass.
826
00:40:24,987 --> 00:40:26,728
You out there, stand still.
827
00:40:32,299 --> 00:40:34,344
Welfare officer.
Yes, Captain.
828
00:40:34,432 --> 00:40:35,868
Take that man's ball off.
829
00:40:35,955 --> 00:40:36,912
Which one?
830
00:40:38,087 --> 00:40:39,567
Captain, Captain!
831
00:40:39,654 --> 00:40:42,222
I see a ship on port bow.
A big, big ship.
832
00:40:42,875 --> 00:40:43,876
How far away?
833
00:40:44,485 --> 00:40:46,095
About that far!
834
00:40:46,182 --> 00:40:48,097
[LOUD CRASHING]
835
00:40:49,795 --> 00:40:51,971
Lower fenders, lower fenders.
836
00:40:52,058 --> 00:40:55,365
All starboard!
Lower the fenders!
837
00:40:56,062 --> 00:40:57,977
Lower the fenders!
838
00:40:58,064 --> 00:41:00,632
Get away, men!
Ahoy there!
839
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:02,764
We are the
Santa Maria.
840
00:41:02,851 --> 00:41:04,244
Who are you?
841
00:41:04,331 --> 00:41:06,028
VOICE: [ECHOING] Who are you?
842
00:41:06,115 --> 00:41:09,379
I told you,
we are the
Santa Maria.
843
00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:11,556
[ECHOING]
Santa Maria.
There's no one aboard her.
844
00:41:11,643 --> 00:41:13,862
[ECHOING] No one aboard her.
She's a ghost ship.
845
00:41:13,949 --> 00:41:14,907
[ECHOING] Ghost ship.
846
00:41:17,649 --> 00:41:18,911
I'm going aboard her.
Who's coming with me.
847
00:41:21,653 --> 00:41:23,959
Two volunteers. You and you.
One pace forward.
848
00:41:27,354 --> 00:41:29,791
Come on, lads. Where's your
spirit of adventure?
849
00:41:29,878 --> 00:41:31,880
Would you have me
go on my own?
850
00:41:31,967 --> 00:41:33,099
ALL: Yes!
851
00:41:35,275 --> 00:41:37,277
I...
852
00:41:37,364 --> 00:41:39,714
Pepi the Poisoner will
very much like to come, sir.
853
00:41:39,801 --> 00:41:42,108
Unchain him.
Here, guv, I'll come too.
854
00:41:51,596 --> 00:41:52,422
Not a living soul aboard.
855
00:41:55,948 --> 00:41:57,079
With a table set for a meal.
856
00:41:59,299 --> 00:42:00,648
My God, it's hot.
857
00:42:03,608 --> 00:42:04,783
And it's delicious.
858
00:42:09,788 --> 00:42:11,354
Etiquette, men!
Etiquette, men!
859
00:42:11,441 --> 00:42:12,138
Form a queue.
860
00:42:13,705 --> 00:42:15,184
Captain, where are you?
861
00:42:17,622 --> 00:42:20,450
It's me. The lovely Diego.
862
00:42:23,845 --> 00:42:26,108
Don't hide from me, Captain.
863
00:42:28,807 --> 00:42:30,025
Everything's gone!
864
00:42:30,112 --> 00:42:31,070
Quick! March!
865
00:42:35,553 --> 00:42:37,424
I hope we haven't
forgotten anything.
866
00:42:37,511 --> 00:42:38,904
Oh, I don't think so, mama.
867
00:42:38,991 --> 00:42:40,340
[WHISPERING]
Esmeralda.
868
00:42:40,427 --> 00:42:41,646
[CLEARS THROAT]
869
00:42:43,822 --> 00:42:45,867
Why are you pushing her
into this marriage?
870
00:42:45,954 --> 00:42:48,348
Because I'm thinking
of her future.
871
00:42:48,435 --> 00:42:50,611
What future?
872
00:42:50,698 --> 00:42:52,570
What future does she have
with a man old enough
to be my father?
873
00:42:52,657 --> 00:42:53,353
[KNOCK ON THE DOOR]
874
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:54,354
Come.
875
00:42:56,312 --> 00:42:58,663
Would you care to join us on
board for dinner, ma'am?
876
00:42:58,750 --> 00:43:01,404
We're having chicken
in white wine.
877
00:43:01,491 --> 00:43:03,798
More chicken, Captain?
Just a touch.
878
00:43:03,885 --> 00:43:05,887
I must save room
for the pudding, ha!
879
00:43:05,974 --> 00:43:07,628
It's peaches in brandy.
880
00:43:07,715 --> 00:43:09,369
More wine, anyone?
881
00:43:09,456 --> 00:43:10,370
[BURPS]
882
00:43:10,457 --> 00:43:11,327
Bless you.
883
00:43:11,414 --> 00:43:12,764
Pirates.Where?
884
00:43:12,851 --> 00:43:14,200
No.
885
00:43:14,287 --> 00:43:15,636
That's what happened, Tonto.
886
00:43:16,811 --> 00:43:20,380
The ship was attacked
by pirates.
887
00:43:20,467 --> 00:43:23,035
And the crew was
all massacred.
888
00:43:23,122 --> 00:43:25,037
And the bodies
flung overboard.
889
00:43:25,124 --> 00:43:26,778
And then they left her
890
00:43:26,865 --> 00:43:28,606
adrift and unmanned
891
00:43:28,693 --> 00:43:30,042
in the middle of the ocean.
892
00:43:30,999 --> 00:43:33,741
She's a dangerous ship,
Captain.
893
00:43:33,828 --> 00:43:35,308
She should be sunk.
894
00:43:36,352 --> 00:43:37,440
Set fire to.
895
00:43:37,527 --> 00:43:38,964
Yes, yes,
all right.
896
00:43:39,051 --> 00:43:40,618
Pass the pudding.
897
00:43:42,837 --> 00:43:43,795
[LAUGHS]
898
00:43:46,493 --> 00:43:47,494
Coo-wee!
899
00:43:48,495 --> 00:43:49,409
Not too late, am I?
900
00:43:52,194 --> 00:43:53,587
Just look at this big spread.
901
00:43:56,155 --> 00:43:58,548
Could do with something
hot inside me.
902
00:43:59,158 --> 00:44:00,376
How about this.
903
00:44:00,899 --> 00:44:01,769
Mmm!
904
00:44:02,683 --> 00:44:04,250
Full as an egg.
905
00:44:04,337 --> 00:44:05,817
[DRUNKEN SHOUTING]
906
00:44:07,688 --> 00:44:09,429
This fog is abominable.
907
00:44:09,516 --> 00:44:11,083
I can't even see the ship!
908
00:44:11,170 --> 00:44:13,563
Straight ahead, just coming
to the gangway.
909
00:44:13,651 --> 00:44:14,826
Hmm.
910
00:44:14,913 --> 00:44:17,872
My word, I did enjoy that!
911
00:44:17,959 --> 00:44:20,614
Oh, Captain, before we go
maybe we should
912
00:44:20,701 --> 00:44:23,008
look around the ship,
sir, see if there's
anything worth saving.
913
00:44:23,095 --> 00:44:24,792
Yeah, yeah, we should,
shouldn't we?
914
00:44:30,189 --> 00:44:31,581
[GASPS]
915
00:44:31,669 --> 00:44:32,974
COLUMBUS: Gold!
Silver!
916
00:44:36,195 --> 00:44:37,457
Looks fantastic, Captain!
917
00:44:41,069 --> 00:44:42,854
It would be a shame to leave
these, wouldn't it?
918
00:44:46,858 --> 00:44:48,555
Oh, now that's lovely.
919
00:44:48,642 --> 00:44:49,817
Feel the quality of that.
920
00:44:52,341 --> 00:44:54,474
I do like these.
921
00:44:56,650 --> 00:44:58,696
[SPANISH INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
922
00:45:00,915 --> 00:45:01,960
Ole!
923
00:45:02,047 --> 00:45:02,787
[CHEERING]
924
00:45:10,098 --> 00:45:11,143
Ole!
925
00:45:15,103 --> 00:45:15,800
[VOCALIZING]
926
00:45:17,192 --> 00:45:18,150
Ole!
927
00:45:20,326 --> 00:45:21,457
Watch your step, ma'am.
928
00:45:27,725 --> 00:45:28,813
All right?
All right, mate.
929
00:45:30,379 --> 00:45:32,251
[YELLING]
Pirates!
930
00:45:32,338 --> 00:45:33,469
[IN DISTANCE]
Pirates!
931
00:45:33,556 --> 00:45:35,080
Pirates.
932
00:45:35,167 --> 00:45:36,821
Good God.
Governor, take care
of the ladies.
933
00:45:36,908 --> 00:45:38,300
Pirates!
934
00:45:42,043 --> 00:45:43,175
You men, follow me.
935
00:45:43,262 --> 00:45:44,306
ALL: Yes, sir!
936
00:45:46,569 --> 00:45:47,657
Ole!
937
00:45:50,051 --> 00:45:53,054
Plundering swine!
You'll hang for this.
938
00:45:54,186 --> 00:45:56,188
Now wait a minute, there's
been some mistake.
939
00:45:56,275 --> 00:45:57,929
I think not.
940
00:45:58,016 --> 00:45:59,931
Before you go to your fate,
you miserable pigs,
941
00:46:01,889 --> 00:46:03,456
may I possibly
have the pleasure?
942
00:46:04,631 --> 00:46:06,198
Fire!
Fire!
943
00:46:06,285 --> 00:46:07,373
Fire?
944
00:46:07,460 --> 00:46:09,244
Tonto's at it again!
945
00:46:10,158 --> 00:46:11,638
MAN 1: Fire!
MAN 2: Fire!
946
00:46:17,513 --> 00:46:19,820
Well, Columbus.
947
00:46:19,907 --> 00:46:21,822
This is the end
of your voyage.
948
00:46:21,909 --> 00:46:24,520
You have managed
to destroy one of
His Majesty's frigates...
949
00:46:24,607 --> 00:46:27,480
And my Lord and I must return
to Spain for the wedding!
950
00:46:27,567 --> 00:46:29,961
Yes. And so, sir,
951
00:46:30,048 --> 00:46:34,617
as Governor of the Canaries,
I command you to abandon
this trip to The Indies.
952
00:46:34,704 --> 00:46:36,445
And take them there.
953
00:46:36,532 --> 00:46:38,665
I'm sorry, sir, but I refuse.
954
00:46:38,752 --> 00:46:40,623
Oh, you refuse, do you?
955
00:46:40,710 --> 00:46:43,626
Well, as you were caught with
stolen property on you,
956
00:46:43,713 --> 00:46:45,106
perhaps you
prefer to hang?
957
00:46:45,890 --> 00:46:47,108
For piracy?
958
00:46:47,195 --> 00:46:47,848
[ESMERALDA CHUCKLING]
959
00:46:55,943 --> 00:46:57,597
Take it into
the Captain's cabin.
960
00:46:57,684 --> 00:47:00,208
Ho, ho! So you're going to
sleep in there, are you?
961
00:47:00,295 --> 00:47:02,080
Yes.
962
00:47:02,167 --> 00:47:04,778
So you can take his stuff out.
963
00:47:04,865 --> 00:47:05,823
SAILOR: Drive her
into the wind!
964
00:47:09,391 --> 00:47:10,828
We're ship's officers,
you know!
965
00:47:10,915 --> 00:47:12,699
Yeah, we shouldn't have
to sleep in the hold.
966
00:47:12,786 --> 00:47:14,440
Well, if it's a case
of you or me,
967
00:47:14,527 --> 00:47:15,658
it's you.
968
00:47:16,659 --> 00:47:18,270
Captain Columbus,
969
00:47:18,357 --> 00:47:20,925
you are instructed to take me
to Spain, are you not?
970
00:47:21,012 --> 00:47:22,970
I am indeed, ma'am.
971
00:47:23,057 --> 00:47:26,408
And Spain lies to the
northeast of the Canary
islands, does it not?
972
00:47:26,495 --> 00:47:28,062
Indeed it does, ma'am.
973
00:47:28,149 --> 00:47:31,631
Then why, Captain, are we
sailing southwest?
974
00:47:31,718 --> 00:47:33,676
Are we?
975
00:47:33,763 --> 00:47:37,419
Are we? Are we?
You know damned well we are,
I'm not an idiot.
976
00:47:37,506 --> 00:47:41,293
I can tell by the sun, we're
not heading for Spain at all.
977
00:47:41,380 --> 00:47:44,774
At the moment, ma'am, we are
tacking from side to side.
978
00:47:44,862 --> 00:47:47,168
A maritime maneuver of which
is obvious you know nothing.
979
00:47:47,255 --> 00:47:49,257
I am in command
of this ship
980
00:47:49,344 --> 00:47:51,651
so I suggest you leave
the navigation to me.
981
00:47:51,738 --> 00:47:53,305
Hmm.
982
00:47:53,392 --> 00:47:54,828
[MOCKING]
Hmm.
983
00:47:59,920 --> 00:48:03,750
He's not taking her back to
Spain at all, he's set course
for The Indies!
984
00:48:03,837 --> 00:48:06,144
Then we must get hold of that
scroll, and destroy it.
985
00:48:30,211 --> 00:48:31,909
[BELLY DANCING MUSIC]
986
00:48:33,562 --> 00:48:34,912
Who are you?
987
00:48:34,999 --> 00:48:37,088
You are asleep,
988
00:48:37,175 --> 00:48:39,960
and I am an erotic dream.
989
00:48:40,047 --> 00:48:41,135
Sleep.
990
00:48:41,222 --> 00:48:42,920
Sleep.
991
00:48:43,007 --> 00:48:44,530
Don't try to wake up.
992
00:48:44,617 --> 00:48:46,140
No, who are you?
993
00:48:46,227 --> 00:48:49,796
Oh, sir, I'm only
a poor girl.
994
00:48:49,883 --> 00:48:54,496
Please, Captain, you wouldn't
take advantage of a poor girl,
would you?
995
00:48:57,021 --> 00:48:57,847
[GIGGLES]
996
00:49:21,175 --> 00:49:22,133
[SNORES]
997
00:49:23,699 --> 00:49:25,049
MARIA: [WHISPERING] Bart.
998
00:49:26,006 --> 00:49:26,920
Bart.
999
00:49:28,226 --> 00:49:29,140
Bart.
1000
00:49:34,145 --> 00:49:34,797
[WHISPERING] Maria?
1001
00:49:36,321 --> 00:49:37,757
What are you doing?
1002
00:49:37,844 --> 00:49:39,977
The same as you!
1003
00:49:40,064 --> 00:49:41,804
You naughty girl,
don't you dare!
1004
00:49:41,891 --> 00:49:43,632
You go back
to bed this minute.
1005
00:49:45,678 --> 00:49:46,896
Are you in love with him?
1006
00:49:47,636 --> 00:49:48,986
I think so.
1007
00:49:50,596 --> 00:49:51,901
Well, do be careful.
1008
00:49:51,989 --> 00:49:52,902
[BOTH GIGGLE]
1009
00:49:54,992 --> 00:49:55,905
SAILOR: Three bells!
1010
00:49:56,384 --> 00:49:57,298
[BELL RINGS]
1011
00:50:02,390 --> 00:50:03,565
Hello, Marco.
1012
00:50:03,652 --> 00:50:04,653
Oh.
1013
00:50:04,740 --> 00:50:05,785
What are you looking at?
1014
00:50:05,872 --> 00:50:07,221
Sharks.
1015
00:50:07,308 --> 00:50:10,572
Man-eating sharks.
The sea's full of them.
1016
00:50:10,659 --> 00:50:13,097
Hey. You mind
you don't fall in.
1017
00:50:13,184 --> 00:50:14,924
My goodness.
1018
00:50:15,012 --> 00:50:16,622
You don't think
they'd eat me whole?
1019
00:50:16,709 --> 00:50:19,712
No. I'm told they
spit that out.
1020
00:50:20,887 --> 00:50:22,889
Oh, isn't the moon lovely?
1021
00:50:24,325 --> 00:50:25,761
Not as lovely as you.
1022
00:50:25,848 --> 00:50:28,068
Oh, no, you
mustn't kiss me.
1023
00:50:28,155 --> 00:50:29,722
I am betrothed.
1024
00:50:30,070 --> 00:50:31,115
Oh.
1025
00:50:31,202 --> 00:50:33,073
Yes, of course you are.
1026
00:50:33,552 --> 00:50:36,424
My fiance, the Duke
1027
00:50:36,511 --> 00:50:37,730
might find out.
1028
00:50:39,079 --> 00:50:40,254
Of course.
1029
00:50:40,341 --> 00:50:40,994
He might.
1030
00:50:44,780 --> 00:50:46,652
Of course, he might not.
1031
00:50:59,056 --> 00:51:00,057
Well?
1032
00:51:00,144 --> 00:51:01,232
Did you get it?
1033
00:51:01,319 --> 00:51:02,972
Oh, I most certainly did.
1034
00:51:03,060 --> 00:51:04,104
Where is it?
1035
00:51:04,191 --> 00:51:05,627
What?
The scroll!
1036
00:51:05,714 --> 00:51:06,889
Oh, that.
1037
00:51:06,976 --> 00:51:08,804
I'll get it tomorrow.
1038
00:51:08,891 --> 00:51:11,459
Fatima! We are failing
in our mission!
1039
00:51:11,546 --> 00:51:12,634
You must think of the Sultan!
1040
00:51:12,721 --> 00:51:14,332
I did.
1041
00:51:14,419 --> 00:51:15,985
And there was
no comparison.
1042
00:51:43,839 --> 00:51:44,927
Oh, good morning, steward.
1043
00:51:45,014 --> 00:51:46,973
Morning, Captain.
1044
00:51:47,060 --> 00:51:48,235
You're not going to be long,
are you?
1045
00:51:48,322 --> 00:51:49,584
No, sir.
1046
00:51:49,671 --> 00:51:52,065
You seem to have had
a restless night.
1047
00:51:52,152 --> 00:51:53,588
Oh, yes, well,
1048
00:51:53,675 --> 00:51:56,591
it's this hot weather,
the strain of command.
1049
00:51:56,678 --> 00:51:58,419
I don't know how much longer
I can keep it up.
1050
00:51:58,506 --> 00:51:59,899
Oh, you must try, sir,
1051
00:51:59,986 --> 00:52:01,030
you really must.
1052
00:52:01,901 --> 00:52:02,858
[CLEARS THROAT]
1053
00:52:05,339 --> 00:52:06,384
Lunch, milady.
1054
00:52:08,864 --> 00:52:10,997
I do hope you're
feeling hungry.
1055
00:52:11,084 --> 00:52:13,347
[GROANS]
Well, I was.
1056
00:52:13,434 --> 00:52:16,611
Oh, yes, the chef sends
you his best wishes.
1057
00:52:16,698 --> 00:52:19,136
What for?
A speedy recovery?
1058
00:52:26,491 --> 00:52:28,754
What is this cack?
1059
00:52:28,841 --> 00:52:32,192
Don't blame me, Tonto, the
ship's stores have run out,
1060
00:52:32,279 --> 00:52:35,456
just hold your nose when you
eat it like everybody else.
Next!
1061
00:52:37,763 --> 00:52:39,156
You have a sickness
of the motions.
1062
00:52:39,243 --> 00:52:40,592
What motions?
1063
00:52:40,679 --> 00:52:42,289
The motions of the ship.
1064
00:52:42,376 --> 00:52:44,857
The
mal de mer,
the sickness of the sea.
1065
00:52:44,944 --> 00:52:47,903
No, Doctor, it's the
appalling food!
1066
00:52:47,990 --> 00:52:51,037
I'd feel sick eating that even
if I was stationary!
[SNIFFS]
1067
00:52:51,124 --> 00:52:53,822
I'll be much better when I get
back to Spain.
1068
00:52:55,215 --> 00:52:58,305
Yes, but we're not going back
to Spain.
1069
00:52:58,392 --> 00:53:00,481
What?
Hmm.
1070
00:53:00,568 --> 00:53:02,266
It is as I thought.
1071
00:53:02,353 --> 00:53:03,310
Do the crew know this?
1072
00:53:03,397 --> 00:53:04,790
Yes, and they're furious.
1073
00:53:04,877 --> 00:53:07,575
A month at sea and
not a sight of land!
1074
00:53:07,662 --> 00:53:10,926
Doctor, we must return
to Spain. We must.
1075
00:53:11,013 --> 00:53:12,450
Listen to me.
1076
00:53:12,537 --> 00:53:15,670
If you can persuade the men
1077
00:53:15,757 --> 00:53:18,630
to make Columbus
go back to Spain,
1078
00:53:18,717 --> 00:53:22,590
my husband will pay
every man Jack of you
a year's salary.
1079
00:53:22,677 --> 00:53:25,202
You realize, of course,
that this is mutiny?
1080
00:53:25,898 --> 00:53:27,421
I didn't hear that.
1081
00:53:27,508 --> 00:53:29,554
Kindly pass on my offer.
1082
00:53:31,860 --> 00:53:34,820
This ship's biscuit
is full of little
crawling weevils!
1083
00:53:35,864 --> 00:53:37,953
Is it lawful to eat
living weevils?
1084
00:53:38,040 --> 00:53:39,738
What an interesting idea!
1085
00:53:39,825 --> 00:53:41,827
You know, it's never
come up before.
1086
00:53:41,914 --> 00:53:44,482
[YELLING]
Well, it's coming up now!
1087
00:53:44,569 --> 00:53:46,048
[RETCHING]
1088
00:53:46,135 --> 00:53:48,181
This food isn't fit for pigs!
1089
00:53:48,268 --> 00:53:50,314
Yes, it is.
1090
00:53:50,401 --> 00:53:54,318
Gather all the men together.
I've got a very interesting
proposition.
1091
00:54:08,549 --> 00:54:09,376
Are you all right, lad?
1092
00:54:09,463 --> 00:54:10,856
Oh, Captain.
1093
00:54:10,943 --> 00:54:11,944
I love you.
1094
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:15,687
Yes.
1095
00:54:15,774 --> 00:54:18,385
Well I'm very pleased to hear
of your loyalty, but...
1096
00:54:18,472 --> 00:54:19,865
But I love you,
I love you!
1097
00:54:19,952 --> 00:54:22,171
I love you, I love you,
I love you!
1098
00:54:22,259 --> 00:54:23,608
Don't overdo it, lad!
1099
00:54:23,695 --> 00:54:25,740
I want no more
than your loyalty!
1100
00:54:26,437 --> 00:54:27,394
This beard
1101
00:54:27,481 --> 00:54:28,526
and mustache,
1102
00:54:28,613 --> 00:54:30,354
is false!
1103
00:54:30,441 --> 00:54:32,921
Yes, I always thought it was.
1104
00:54:33,008 --> 00:54:36,011
Still, if you can't grow one
and you want to look older,
what's the harm in that?
1105
00:54:36,098 --> 00:54:38,710
Look at me, look at me!
1106
00:54:38,797 --> 00:54:40,407
Yes, well, without that beard,
1107
00:54:40,494 --> 00:54:42,279
you're quite good-looking.
Thank you.
1108
00:54:42,366 --> 00:54:44,629
Now put it back on again and
go and fetch me pudding!
1109
00:54:44,716 --> 00:54:47,458
I am the one who
came in the night.
1110
00:54:50,112 --> 00:54:51,026
My erotic dream!
1111
00:54:51,113 --> 00:54:52,593
Yes.
1112
00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:54,639
I only pretend to be a man
1113
00:54:54,726 --> 00:54:56,423
I really am a woman.
1114
00:54:58,512 --> 00:55:01,341
Oh, I am very glad
to hear that.
1115
00:55:01,428 --> 00:55:03,691
Most relieved.
1116
00:55:03,778 --> 00:55:06,172
Then, perhaps,
1117
00:55:06,259 --> 00:55:07,347
you could fetch me pudding.
1118
00:55:07,434 --> 00:55:08,783
How would you feel about
1119
00:55:08,870 --> 00:55:10,959
a Turkish spy?
1120
00:55:11,046 --> 00:55:12,526
Is that the one they
make with figs inside?
1121
00:55:12,613 --> 00:55:15,399
No, no, Captain.
1122
00:55:15,486 --> 00:55:17,618
I'm an agent of the Sultan
sent to spy on you.
1123
00:55:18,706 --> 00:55:20,882
Can you ever forgive me,
oh Captain?
1124
00:55:20,969 --> 00:55:22,797
My darling, can you?
1125
00:55:25,322 --> 00:55:29,587
Oh, oh, well then I'm sure
I could, yes!
1126
00:55:29,674 --> 00:55:31,371
[LAUGHS]
Given time.
1127
00:55:31,458 --> 00:55:33,199
But, Captain,
time is running out.
1128
00:55:33,286 --> 00:55:34,896
The crew are about to mutiny.
1129
00:55:34,983 --> 00:55:38,552
Oh, nonsense, nonsense.
I'll soon talk them out of it.
1130
00:55:38,639 --> 00:55:42,382
Now, men, lads, friends,
1131
00:55:42,469 --> 00:55:44,732
for we are all friends,
are we not?
1132
00:55:44,819 --> 00:55:49,346
Comrades bound together by
the dangers and hardships
we have endured.
1133
00:55:49,433 --> 00:55:51,913
I have great tidings for you.
1134
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:54,220
Today, tomorrow at the latest,
1135
00:55:54,307 --> 00:55:55,569
we shall reach land!
1136
00:55:55,656 --> 00:55:58,093
You said that yesterday,
Captain.
1137
00:55:58,180 --> 00:55:59,878
And the day before.
1138
00:55:59,965 --> 00:56:01,183
He's been saying it
for a fortnight.
1139
00:56:01,270 --> 00:56:02,446
Let us turn back!
1140
00:56:02,533 --> 00:56:04,317
I will not turn back!
1141
00:56:04,404 --> 00:56:05,927
It's your last chance,
Captain,
1142
00:56:06,014 --> 00:56:07,189
will you turn back?
1143
00:56:07,276 --> 00:56:08,234
No!
1144
00:56:08,321 --> 00:56:09,278
Right!
1145
00:56:12,891 --> 00:56:14,936
You've got two minutes to make
your peace with God.
1146
00:56:15,023 --> 00:56:16,721
Very well.
1147
00:56:16,808 --> 00:56:20,246
I ask God to forgive my sins,
which are many.
1148
00:56:20,333 --> 00:56:21,769
ALL: Amen.
1149
00:56:21,856 --> 00:56:23,902
I have lived a wicked and
awfully good life.
1150
00:56:23,989 --> 00:56:25,077
ALL: Amen.
1151
00:56:25,164 --> 00:56:26,078
As a youth,
1152
00:56:26,165 --> 00:56:27,384
I was a pirate.
1153
00:56:27,775 --> 00:56:28,733
Hey...
1154
00:56:29,429 --> 00:56:30,517
A pirate?
1155
00:56:30,604 --> 00:56:31,910
Oh, yes.
1156
00:56:31,997 --> 00:56:34,086
Yes, I plundered and rooted.
1157
00:56:34,173 --> 00:56:35,740
But most of all,
1158
00:56:35,827 --> 00:56:37,263
I hoarded.
1159
00:56:37,350 --> 00:56:40,092
I ask God's mercy
1160
00:56:40,179 --> 00:56:42,224
for the hundreds of millions
of maravedis I have
1161
00:56:42,311 --> 00:56:43,878
hoarded and hidden away
1162
00:56:43,965 --> 00:56:46,925
instead of sharing them among
my fellow men.
1163
00:56:48,622 --> 00:56:50,972
Now, as I depart this life,
1164
00:56:51,059 --> 00:56:53,975
to show that I bear no man
any malice,
1165
00:56:54,062 --> 00:56:58,066
I do hereby give and bequeath
this fortune
1166
00:56:58,153 --> 00:57:01,156
to be shared equally among
my fellow shipmates.
1167
00:57:01,243 --> 00:57:02,244
TONTO: Oh, that's great.
1168
00:57:02,331 --> 00:57:03,942
So. Haul away!
1169
00:57:04,029 --> 00:57:05,813
Hang on!
1170
00:57:06,814 --> 00:57:07,772
Where is it?
1171
00:57:07,859 --> 00:57:08,860
You're holding it.
1172
00:57:08,947 --> 00:57:11,689
Not the rope, the fortune!
1173
00:57:11,776 --> 00:57:14,909
Oh, the fortune!
Yes, that is buried
1174
00:57:14,996 --> 00:57:16,824
under an olive tree
in Andalucia.
1175
00:57:16,911 --> 00:57:17,999
Haul away!
1176
00:57:18,696 --> 00:57:19,958
I'll tell you when to haul!
1177
00:57:21,263 --> 00:57:22,264
So, Captain,
1178
00:57:22,351 --> 00:57:23,788
which olive tree?
1179
00:57:23,875 --> 00:57:26,355
Oh, you'll find it, just keep
digging, digging.
1180
00:57:26,443 --> 00:57:29,097
I'm sorry, I can't talk more.
1181
00:57:29,184 --> 00:57:31,056
Goodbye, my dear shipmates.
1182
00:57:31,143 --> 00:57:34,494
Oh, Captain, do as they say!
Turn back!
1183
00:57:34,581 --> 00:57:37,279
I really think you ought to,
Captain, for your own sake.
1184
00:57:39,064 --> 00:57:41,545
Couldn't we give you
one last chance?
1185
00:57:41,632 --> 00:57:43,677
ALL: Yeah!
1186
00:57:43,764 --> 00:57:46,550
I am determined to go
onwards, or upwards.
Haul away, men!
1187
00:57:46,637 --> 00:57:48,900
Land!
Land on the
starboard bow!
1188
00:57:50,118 --> 00:57:50,902
[ALL CHEERING]
1189
00:57:53,034 --> 00:57:53,731
[GAGGING]
1190
00:57:54,993 --> 00:57:55,907
Cut him down!
1191
00:58:02,653 --> 00:58:04,916
Oh, darling,
are you all right?
1192
00:58:05,003 --> 00:58:07,571
Yes. Un-noose me, lad.
1193
00:58:07,658 --> 00:58:09,355
And not so much emotion.
1194
00:58:09,442 --> 00:58:10,617
Not in front of the crew.
1195
00:58:11,705 --> 00:58:13,098
Captain.
1196
00:58:13,185 --> 00:58:14,795
Can you ever forgive me?
1197
00:58:14,882 --> 00:58:16,710
Yes, of course I can.
1198
00:58:16,797 --> 00:58:17,755
[YELLS]
1199
00:58:20,801 --> 00:58:22,368
Think of the
ship, Captain!
1200
00:58:22,455 --> 00:58:23,630
Well, yes, of course.
1201
00:58:23,717 --> 00:58:25,719
Lower the anchor!
Lower the anchor!
1202
00:58:25,806 --> 00:58:27,112
Lower the boat!
Lower the boat!
1203
00:58:29,593 --> 00:58:31,769
[PANTING]
1204
00:58:31,856 --> 00:58:35,163
Can you give me
one good reason why
I don't have you hanged?
1205
00:58:35,250 --> 00:58:36,556
Yes.
1206
00:58:36,643 --> 00:58:38,689
I used to be a pirate,
1207
00:58:38,776 --> 00:58:40,473
I've got all
this gold buried,
1208
00:58:40,560 --> 00:58:41,430
and I want to share
it with you.
1209
00:58:42,257 --> 00:58:43,084
[LAUGHS]
1210
00:58:45,696 --> 00:58:47,872
I'll deal with
you later.
1211
00:58:47,959 --> 00:58:49,351
Muster the landing party!
1212
00:58:49,438 --> 00:58:51,353
Muster the landing party!
1213
00:58:51,440 --> 00:58:52,659
Stem the sails!
1214
00:58:57,795 --> 00:58:59,274
[DRUMS BEATING RHYTHMICALLY]
1215
00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:15,334
[IN AMERICAN ACCENT]
So, Pontiac,
1216
00:59:15,421 --> 00:59:16,335
what do you think of that?
1217
00:59:16,422 --> 00:59:17,945
What the hell is that?
1218
00:59:18,032 --> 00:59:19,512
I've never seen nothing
like that before, have you?
1219
00:59:19,599 --> 00:59:20,774
Nothing.
1220
00:59:20,861 --> 00:59:21,906
You know what
it looks like?
1221
00:59:21,993 --> 00:59:24,386
It looks like
a giant canoe,
1222
00:59:24,473 --> 00:59:26,258
with washing hanging
all over the sides of it.
1223
00:59:26,345 --> 00:59:28,739
Yeah. And, no paddles.
1224
00:59:28,826 --> 00:59:32,220
Hey, you think it's some kind
of floating laundry service
or something?
1225
00:59:32,307 --> 00:59:34,919
Could be.
Hey, maybe
they're Chinese!
1226
00:59:35,006 --> 00:59:38,009
Look, they're lowering
a little canoe from
the big canoe.
1227
00:59:38,096 --> 00:59:40,446
You know what that means?
That means that they're
coming to shore.
1228
00:59:40,533 --> 00:59:42,230
Whoa. This could be good!
1229
00:59:42,317 --> 00:59:44,537
Your wife's got
any washing she
needs doing?
1230
00:59:44,624 --> 00:59:46,191
That's a very
good idea.
1231
00:59:46,278 --> 00:59:47,366
Here's what we do.
We go back,
we ask the wives.
1232
00:59:47,453 --> 00:59:48,759
Huh? Beautiful.
Okay.
1233
00:59:48,846 --> 00:59:49,847
PONTIAC: I hope
they don't use starch.
1234
00:59:50,282 --> 00:59:51,457
Forward!
1235
01:00:09,736 --> 01:00:12,870
I declare this land,
wherever it is,
1236
01:00:12,957 --> 01:00:15,220
under the protection
of their Majesties!
1237
01:00:15,307 --> 01:00:16,351
King Ferdinand,
1238
01:00:16,438 --> 01:00:17,875
and Queen Isabella
1239
01:00:17,962 --> 01:00:19,093
of Aragon,
1240
01:00:19,180 --> 01:00:20,138
and Castile!
1241
01:00:20,225 --> 01:00:21,356
[SAILORS CHEERING]
1242
01:00:21,443 --> 01:00:23,663
Mr. Mendoza,
1243
01:00:23,750 --> 01:00:26,579
would you care to convey our
best wishes and tell them what
we've come for?
1244
01:00:26,666 --> 01:00:28,233
What, you mean
speak to them?
1245
01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:30,061
Well you told me
you spoke Chinese.
1246
01:00:30,148 --> 01:00:31,932
[CLEARS THROAT]
Yes.
1247
01:00:33,151 --> 01:00:34,500
How.
1248
01:00:34,587 --> 01:00:35,588
[SPEAKING LOCAL LANGUAGE]
1249
01:00:41,115 --> 01:00:41,855
What did they say?
1250
01:00:42,769 --> 01:00:44,162
He said he's not Chinese.
1251
01:00:45,206 --> 01:00:46,468
So we're not in China?
1252
01:00:46,555 --> 01:00:47,774
I'd say we were in India.
1253
01:00:49,297 --> 01:00:50,342
Do you speak Indian?
1254
01:00:50,429 --> 01:00:51,299
Well, not fluently.
1255
01:00:52,518 --> 01:00:53,388
So it's sign language, eh.
1256
01:00:53,475 --> 01:00:55,564
In that I'm fluent.
1257
01:00:55,652 --> 01:00:58,785
Don't forget what we came
for, the treasure of the
Indies. Gold.
1258
01:00:58,872 --> 01:01:00,265
[LAUGHING] Gold!
1259
01:01:02,310 --> 01:01:04,269
So he's found The Indies.
1260
01:01:04,356 --> 01:01:05,879
DON FELIPE: Well, he's
certainly found somewhere.
1261
01:01:05,966 --> 01:01:08,186
Yes.
1262
01:01:08,273 --> 01:01:12,669
All said, the King and Queen
will be all over him when we
get back to Spain.
1263
01:01:12,756 --> 01:01:16,194
Yes, but he is ashore with
unreliable and potentially
treacherous savages
1264
01:01:16,281 --> 01:01:18,936
who it is rumored
1265
01:01:19,023 --> 01:01:22,243
do some very strange things
with chicken feathers
if you follow me.
1266
01:01:22,330 --> 01:01:24,071
Yes, I do.
1267
01:01:24,158 --> 01:01:27,684
And should any misfortune
befall Columbus,
1268
01:01:27,771 --> 01:01:30,599
you, as
the King's officer,
1269
01:01:30,687 --> 01:01:32,732
will of course
be in charge.
1270
01:01:32,819 --> 01:01:35,039
Do you follow me?
1271
01:01:35,126 --> 01:01:36,736
Absolutely.
1272
01:01:50,794 --> 01:01:52,230
Hi, Chief.
1273
01:01:52,317 --> 01:01:54,580
Hey, Hubba,
what do you say?
All right.
1274
01:01:54,667 --> 01:01:58,105
We think they're
some kind of
traveling laundry.
1275
01:01:58,192 --> 01:02:00,412
CHIEF: Oh, you've got to
be kidding me.
1276
01:02:06,940 --> 01:02:07,724
We
1277
01:02:08,986 --> 01:02:09,987
bring
1278
01:02:10,422 --> 01:02:11,510
gifts.
1279
01:02:12,946 --> 01:02:15,514
Oh, no, not another
mime troupe.
1280
01:02:15,601 --> 01:02:17,516
He can't even spell.
1281
01:02:17,603 --> 01:02:19,170
But it's a nice suit.
1282
01:02:24,175 --> 01:02:25,089
Him
1283
01:02:25,785 --> 01:02:26,699
gift.
1284
01:02:29,136 --> 01:02:31,051
Him. Gift.
1285
01:02:31,225 --> 01:02:32,313
Him, gift?
1286
01:02:34,011 --> 01:02:35,186
Him garbage.
[LAUGHTER]
1287
01:02:51,637 --> 01:02:52,681
What do you make of it?
1288
01:02:53,378 --> 01:02:55,249
Some kind of vegetable.
1289
01:02:55,336 --> 01:02:56,511
Looks like old
dried cabbage.
1290
01:03:00,472 --> 01:03:01,255
[MOANS IN DISGUST]
1291
01:03:02,517 --> 01:03:03,257
What's it taste like?
1292
01:03:04,868 --> 01:03:05,782
Horse shit.
1293
01:03:06,783 --> 01:03:07,784
Is it cooked?
1294
01:03:08,959 --> 01:03:09,829
If it is, they should
shoot the cook.
1295
01:03:12,963 --> 01:03:14,355
Well, I'll be damned,
look at that!
1296
01:03:15,704 --> 01:03:17,228
They cook it
while you're
eating it!
1297
01:03:17,315 --> 01:03:18,272
So try it cooked.
1298
01:03:22,189 --> 01:03:23,147
[MUTTERS OF APPROVAL]
1299
01:03:26,150 --> 01:03:27,629
What's it taste
like now?
1300
01:03:29,370 --> 01:03:30,545
Still tastes
like horse shit.
1301
01:03:30,632 --> 01:03:33,461
[MAKING BIRD NOISES]
1302
01:03:35,463 --> 01:03:36,943
Pow-wow.
1303
01:03:37,030 --> 01:03:37,814
Pow-wow?
1304
01:03:43,994 --> 01:03:47,475
So...
Who are these guys?
1305
01:03:47,562 --> 01:03:50,000
I don't know who they are,
but you better tell 'em
1306
01:03:50,087 --> 01:03:51,653
that we don't want no
goddamn immigrants.
1307
01:03:51,740 --> 01:03:54,265
Please!
We've got to be hospitable.
1308
01:03:54,352 --> 01:03:56,267
Excuse me, may I?
May I?
Thank you.
1309
01:03:57,572 --> 01:03:58,922
I say we
make them welcome...
1310
01:03:59,009 --> 01:04:01,533
Yeah?
I say that we
kill 'em now.
1311
01:04:01,620 --> 01:04:03,709
While we still
got 'em outnumbered...
We can't do that.
1312
01:04:03,796 --> 01:04:06,364
We're civilized.
Oh, sure, sure,
we're civilized.
1313
01:04:06,451 --> 01:04:09,802
But these sons a bitches
could be cannibals!
1314
01:04:09,889 --> 01:04:13,980
Pardon me... Excuse me...
Uh, do you have the big hat
with the nice jewels?
1315
01:04:14,067 --> 01:04:16,896
No, you don't, see?
You have no feathers.
I see plenty a feathers here.
1316
01:04:16,983 --> 01:04:18,376
Do you know why?
That's because I am the...
1317
01:04:18,463 --> 01:04:21,422
Chief.
You're the chief.
Bingo!
1318
01:04:21,509 --> 01:04:24,948
That's why I say we make
friends with them, I say we
show them our ways of peace...
1319
01:04:25,035 --> 01:04:26,775
Course, that's just
what I say...
All right, all right...
1320
01:04:26,863 --> 01:04:29,387
Okay? You're the chief.
Whatever you say,
have it your way.
1321
01:04:29,474 --> 01:04:30,692
But you'll be sorry.
1322
01:04:30,779 --> 01:04:33,695
[RINGING]
Bell.
1323
01:04:33,782 --> 01:04:35,828
[RINGING]
Hmm. Bell.
1324
01:04:37,134 --> 01:04:39,484
[RINGING]
Two bells.
1325
01:04:40,833 --> 01:04:44,010
[LOUDER RINGING]
Two bells!
ALL: Ooh. Ahh.
1326
01:04:44,097 --> 01:04:47,187
[RINGING]
Three bells.
1327
01:04:47,274 --> 01:04:50,408
Three bells!
[EVEN LOUDER RINGING]
1328
01:04:54,499 --> 01:04:55,892
Gold.
Gold.
1329
01:04:58,938 --> 01:05:00,766
Gold.
Gold.
1330
01:05:00,853 --> 01:05:03,725
We trade.
We trade.
1331
01:05:03,812 --> 01:05:07,381
Me take gold.
You take gold.
1332
01:05:07,468 --> 01:05:09,601
You take bells.
Balls.
1333
01:05:10,994 --> 01:05:13,779
No, not bald.
Bells, bells, bells.
1334
01:05:13,866 --> 01:05:16,913
Balls.
Balls.
Balls!
1335
01:05:17,000 --> 01:05:20,177
Oh, look at this!
Rather nice.
1336
01:05:20,264 --> 01:05:23,136
Would look nice in my cabin.
Set my porthole of a treat.
1337
01:05:24,659 --> 01:05:26,444
Oh, watch out.
Hello!
1338
01:05:26,531 --> 01:05:28,272
How.
Hello.
1339
01:05:28,359 --> 01:05:32,276
Me Ha Ha.
Him Poca Hontas.
Well, I never.
1340
01:05:32,363 --> 01:05:33,581
What's a Hontas?
1341
01:05:34,800 --> 01:05:37,629
Him, Tomato.
Tomato! Ha-ha!
1342
01:05:37,716 --> 01:05:40,937
Eat. Eat!
Oh, eating tomato!
Mmm.
1343
01:05:42,329 --> 01:05:45,419
What's it like?
Mmm. Lovely!
Taste it.
1344
01:05:45,506 --> 01:05:48,118
Mmm. Mmm!
Tomato.
1345
01:05:48,205 --> 01:05:49,597
Him good.
1346
01:05:49,684 --> 01:05:53,123
Tomato. Him go...
[PANTING]
1347
01:05:53,210 --> 01:05:53,950
[SNORTING]
1348
01:05:57,388 --> 01:06:00,347
Oh, you don't think it means
it gets you going, do you?
Certainly not.
1349
01:06:02,001 --> 01:06:05,265
Probably means...
Very easy to grow.
1350
01:06:05,352 --> 01:06:07,746
So!
How's it goin'?
1351
01:06:07,833 --> 01:06:10,531
Eh...
They're so...
Primitive!
1352
01:06:10,618 --> 01:06:13,404
We want. We take.
You, give!
1353
01:06:13,491 --> 01:06:16,885
[STAMMERING]
What do these guys want?
Food? Women? Sheep?
1354
01:06:16,973 --> 01:06:19,540
Sheep! Ho, ho, ho!
All right, then.
1355
01:06:19,627 --> 01:06:21,847
Steady... Steady...
Sorry.
1356
01:06:22,935 --> 01:06:25,068
They want gold.
Gold?
1357
01:06:25,155 --> 01:06:27,461
When they can have sheep?
Ha! Must be crazy.
1358
01:06:27,548 --> 01:06:29,942
[LAUGHING]
You weren't married
to my sister.
1359
01:06:30,029 --> 01:06:32,553
Gold! They want gold!
It's all they talk about.
Wait, now, hold on a minute...
1360
01:06:32,640 --> 01:06:35,165
All right, now, look.
We don't have very much gold.
1361
01:06:35,252 --> 01:06:38,081
And, if we don't get rid
a these guys,
were not gonna have any.
1362
01:06:38,168 --> 01:06:39,734
Tell me something
I don't know.
What can you say?
1363
01:06:39,821 --> 01:06:41,910
They're simple,
primitive people.
Stupid, too.
1364
01:06:41,998 --> 01:06:45,262
[LAUGHING]
Oh, stupid as hell.
I can't tell you.
1365
01:06:45,349 --> 01:06:48,178
[MIMICKING ACCENT]
"Hello."
[LAUGHING] Not bright.
1366
01:06:48,265 --> 01:06:51,485
Now, Diego, these
are a very peaceful people.
1367
01:06:51,572 --> 01:06:54,271
Make sure the crew keep
their hands off the women.
1368
01:06:54,358 --> 01:06:57,578
[LAUGHING AND GIGGLING]
1369
01:06:58,579 --> 01:07:00,016
You were saying, Captain?
1370
01:07:01,365 --> 01:07:04,063
Now, Diego, these
are a very peaceful people.
1371
01:07:04,150 --> 01:07:06,587
I still say we get rid
a these guys.
1372
01:07:06,674 --> 01:07:09,242
Oh, and you're gonna
love this, they wanna
see the gold mine.
1373
01:07:09,329 --> 01:07:11,723
Wait a minute, the gold mine,
the one that our ancestors
mined for the gold?
1374
01:07:11,810 --> 01:07:14,160
The one
it's death to enter?
That's the one.
1375
01:07:14,247 --> 01:07:16,075
Good.
Then, we'll take
'em there.
1376
01:07:20,036 --> 01:07:22,821
Right, lads.
This is what we
came for. Gold.
1377
01:07:22,908 --> 01:07:25,606
[ALL AGREEING]
The gold mines of The Indies.
1378
01:07:25,693 --> 01:07:27,782
[SHAMAN CHANTING]
1379
01:07:32,831 --> 01:07:35,094
Who is this?
Shaman. Medicine man.
He make...
1380
01:07:36,443 --> 01:07:38,315
Big spells.
Ho, ho.
Oh, nonsense.
1381
01:07:40,969 --> 01:07:45,409
Also,
first-class rainmaker.
[ALL LAUGHING]
1382
01:07:45,496 --> 01:07:48,977
[LAUGHING]
Pull the other one.
[THUNDER CRASHES]
1383
01:07:53,504 --> 01:07:55,245
All right, all right!
You've made your point.
1384
01:07:56,289 --> 01:07:57,943
[WHISTLING]
1385
01:08:01,903 --> 01:08:03,122
We're ready to go, Chief.
1386
01:08:05,646 --> 01:08:08,867
Shaman say,
"safe to go."
All the best.
1387
01:08:08,954 --> 01:08:10,347
[SHAMAN CHANTING]
1388
01:08:11,522 --> 01:08:13,959
Right men.
Onward!
1389
01:08:24,622 --> 01:08:27,015
[SHAMAN GRUNTING]
1390
01:08:27,103 --> 01:08:29,844
All right. This is it, fellas.
Medicine man says this
is where we're eatin'.
1391
01:08:29,931 --> 01:08:30,845
Okay, lunch.
1392
01:08:36,068 --> 01:08:38,331
Shouldn't we have brought
some food with us?
1393
01:08:38,418 --> 01:08:41,552
Oh, no, no, no. The Indians
have brought plenty, and it's
a lot fresher than ours.
1394
01:08:41,639 --> 01:08:43,206
Good.
I just wondered.
1395
01:08:44,337 --> 01:08:47,514
What are those objects
they're eating?
1396
01:08:47,601 --> 01:08:51,692
Ah, that's corn on the cob.
It's delicious.
COLUMBUS: Fine.
1397
01:08:51,779 --> 01:08:55,609
Well, what about us?
Yeah. You show us
what you eat.
1398
01:08:55,696 --> 01:08:57,698
Well, we didn't bring
any food with us.
1399
01:08:57,785 --> 01:09:01,398
Oh. Is this a day of
fasting and prayer for you? No.
1400
01:09:01,485 --> 01:09:03,791
Then why didn't you
bring anything to eat?
1401
01:09:03,878 --> 01:09:06,925
Well, we thought we'd
share with you.
1402
01:09:07,012 --> 01:09:09,710
Oh, I get it.
You wanna trade.
1403
01:09:09,797 --> 01:09:12,104
Very good.
Uh, what do you
trade for the food?
1404
01:09:22,549 --> 01:09:26,292
Three days now, and still
no news from the shore.
1405
01:09:26,379 --> 01:09:27,989
What on Earth can
they be doing?
1406
01:09:28,076 --> 01:09:29,774
I don't know,
but it's worrying.
Hmm.
1407
01:09:29,861 --> 01:09:31,602
I think perhaps we'd better
go ashore and investigate.
1408
01:09:31,689 --> 01:09:33,212
I will take you ladies
under my protection.
1409
01:09:33,299 --> 01:09:35,823
Oh, thank you.
Chiquita?
1410
01:09:37,129 --> 01:09:38,652
Yes, milady?
1411
01:09:38,739 --> 01:09:42,526
Could you ask you're, uh,
friend, to row us ashore?
1412
01:09:42,613 --> 01:09:44,876
He will if he can
find some oars.
1413
01:09:44,963 --> 01:09:47,139
What he does
when he gets there
is his own concern.
1414
01:09:48,445 --> 01:09:49,750
[SNORING]
1415
01:09:58,455 --> 01:09:59,847
No, Daddy, not again!
1416
01:10:00,544 --> 01:10:03,286
Who are you?
Me Chief.
1417
01:10:03,373 --> 01:10:05,113
You want trade?
1418
01:10:05,940 --> 01:10:07,028
Trade?
1419
01:10:07,986 --> 01:10:11,163
How much gold
you want for her?
1420
01:10:12,295 --> 01:10:15,515
You heathen!
Is that good?
1421
01:10:15,602 --> 01:10:19,389
That is my daughter.
Gold will not buy her virtue.
1422
01:10:19,476 --> 01:10:23,523
But, that of course does
not apply to all of us.
Chiquita!
1423
01:10:23,610 --> 01:10:25,177
Well, I just thought
I'd mark his card.
1424
01:10:27,266 --> 01:10:28,746
[SHAMAN CHANTING]
1425
01:10:35,274 --> 01:10:37,233
Hey, Colombo,
over here.
1426
01:10:37,320 --> 01:10:41,062
Medicine man say, this is
where we're gonna eat.
Come on!
1427
01:10:41,149 --> 01:10:46,416
Now, look, we have
nothing left to trade.
Well, what about that?
1428
01:10:46,503 --> 01:10:49,419
Tell you what. You give me
that, we'll give you enough
food to get back to camp.
1429
01:10:49,506 --> 01:10:52,987
From then on,
you're on your own.
No, no, wait, wait... Why?
1430
01:10:53,074 --> 01:10:55,599
For us to go into the mines
is strictly forbidden.
1431
01:10:55,686 --> 01:10:58,515
We go into the mine,
it means a horrible death!
You know why?
1432
01:10:58,602 --> 01:11:03,041
Unga Poka kills us.
Well, we're not frightened
of him, are we, lads?
1433
01:11:03,128 --> 01:11:07,088
You speak for yourself!
That's very good that
you're not frightened of him.
1434
01:11:07,175 --> 01:11:10,091
Then, you go into the mine,
okay? And medicine man,
he'll go with you.
1435
01:11:11,267 --> 01:11:13,965
So, he's not frightened
of Unga Poka?
1436
01:11:14,052 --> 01:11:17,490
No, no, no.
He has magic, all right?
Very powerful magic.
1437
01:11:17,577 --> 01:11:20,754
He can never die.
He's immortal. Now,
are we gonna trade, or what?
1438
01:11:21,886 --> 01:11:25,585
We may need these
to defend ourselves.
1439
01:11:25,672 --> 01:11:28,893
You still don't get it,
do you? That is no good
against Unga Poka.
1440
01:11:28,980 --> 01:11:30,982
The medicine man
is your only defense.
1441
01:11:32,070 --> 01:11:34,507
All right, lads.
Do as he asks.
1442
01:11:35,987 --> 01:11:37,858
Go get the stuff.
It'll be my pleasure.
1443
01:11:44,517 --> 01:11:46,389
DIEGO: Here,
what about the steward?
1444
01:11:46,476 --> 01:11:49,609
Well, the steward hasn't
got a weapon, have you?
Nope.
1445
01:11:49,696 --> 01:11:52,177
No, but he could
give them his suit.
1446
01:11:52,264 --> 01:11:56,964
Uh, yes, well, he's my nephew,
and, uh, I'm very worried
about him catching cold.
1447
01:11:57,051 --> 01:11:59,140
What's the matter,
is he sick?
ACHMED: Yes.
1448
01:11:59,227 --> 01:11:59,880
[SPEAKING IN LOCAL LANGUAGE]
1449
01:12:01,186 --> 01:12:02,579
[SHAMAN CHANTING]
1450
01:12:11,152 --> 01:12:15,200
He's put a spell
upon me.
Hasn't his voice gone high?
1451
01:12:15,287 --> 01:12:17,028
[BURLESQUE MUSIC PLAYING]
1452
01:12:19,160 --> 01:12:20,553
COLUMBUS:
What's he done to you?
1453
01:12:20,640 --> 01:12:22,686
I don't know.
I feel quite peculiar.
1454
01:12:34,132 --> 01:12:36,526
Oh, my God.
What has he done to him?
1455
01:12:36,613 --> 01:12:38,571
[HUBBA EXCLAIMS]
1456
01:12:38,658 --> 01:12:42,401
He turned a man
into a woman.
This must be a new spell.
1457
01:12:42,488 --> 01:12:45,404
He's never done this before!
Well, I hope he doesn't
make a habit of it.
1458
01:12:45,491 --> 01:12:48,320
This is the curse
of Unga Poka!
[NATIVES YELLING]
1459
01:12:48,407 --> 01:12:49,103
Get out of here!
1460
01:12:50,627 --> 01:12:55,022
Dead?
Oh, sure. From
Mines of Doom.
1461
01:12:56,763 --> 01:13:01,115
Nobody returns.
Well, then, uh, Don Felipe,
1462
01:13:01,202 --> 01:13:05,772
as the wife of the
King's cousin, I order
you to take command.
1463
01:13:07,208 --> 01:13:10,342
Oh, thank you.
CHIEF: What...
1464
01:13:10,429 --> 01:13:13,780
That mean?
That mean we're leaving
as soon as possible.
1465
01:13:13,867 --> 01:13:17,044
Oh, you no want gold?
1466
01:13:20,700 --> 01:13:23,790
[STAMMERING] Well, we
wouldn't mind a bit.
1467
01:13:23,877 --> 01:13:25,052
Oh, go ahead.
Use the hut.
1468
01:13:29,100 --> 01:13:30,928
But, if you want gold...
1469
01:13:31,624 --> 01:13:32,712
[TAPPING]
1470
01:13:35,323 --> 01:13:37,674
[INARTICULATE GRUNTING NOISES]
1471
01:13:40,894 --> 01:13:42,679
We trade.
1472
01:13:51,731 --> 01:13:52,645
Ha!
1473
01:13:54,168 --> 01:13:55,866
[SHAMAN GRUNTING]
1474
01:13:59,130 --> 01:14:01,567
Right, lads. Now,
stick together and follow me.
1475
01:14:10,097 --> 01:14:11,359
[SCREECHING]
1476
01:14:15,799 --> 01:14:17,235
[SCREECHING CONTINUES]
1477
01:14:19,324 --> 01:14:21,544
Would that be Unga Poka?
1478
01:14:21,631 --> 01:14:24,024
Or one of his victims!
I don't know, but I don't like
the sound of it.
1479
01:14:25,243 --> 01:14:26,331
[SCREECHING]
1480
01:14:27,680 --> 01:14:29,682
He doesn't sound
too keen on it, either.
1481
01:14:30,030 --> 01:14:31,641
Ohh! Ohh!
1482
01:14:47,004 --> 01:14:47,961
Uh!
1483
01:14:53,489 --> 01:14:54,533
Ahhh!
1484
01:14:57,231 --> 01:14:58,885
Stand back.
1485
01:14:58,972 --> 01:15:01,148
Did you hear that?
He must've dropped
for a mile!
1486
01:15:02,367 --> 01:15:03,324
COLUMBUS: Listen.
What?
1487
01:15:03,411 --> 01:15:04,064
[YELLING GETTING CLOSER]
1488
01:15:05,326 --> 01:15:06,719
He's coming back up!
1489
01:15:09,548 --> 01:15:12,203
[SHAMAN GRUNTING]
1490
01:15:12,290 --> 01:15:15,641
I suggest we turn back.
No, lads, no, we've
come too far for that.
1491
01:15:15,728 --> 01:15:16,642
Press on!
1492
01:15:32,136 --> 01:15:33,529
[CHUCKLING]
1493
01:15:36,270 --> 01:15:37,620
[VOCALIZING HAPPILY]
1494
01:15:46,324 --> 01:15:47,543
[ROARING]
1495
01:15:50,328 --> 01:15:52,460
[GASPING]
1496
01:15:52,548 --> 01:15:55,115
I don't think my heart
can stand much more of this.
1497
01:15:55,202 --> 01:15:58,031
[FARTING]
Oh... Oh!
1498
01:15:59,206 --> 01:16:00,599
I'm being interfered with.
1499
01:16:03,689 --> 01:16:07,780
What's the matter?
Come here, come here. Stand
still. It's only a spider!
1500
01:16:10,043 --> 01:16:11,305
[ALL YELLING]
1501
01:16:15,571 --> 01:16:16,572
Press on!
1502
01:16:26,103 --> 01:16:27,017
[WHOOSHING]
1503
01:16:33,545 --> 01:16:36,635
I am not going
any further.
Huh. Neither am I.
1504
01:16:39,290 --> 01:16:40,596
[ROCKS FALLING]
1505
01:16:42,859 --> 01:16:46,645
Well, that's it!
We've got to go forward.
There's no turning back.
1506
01:16:46,732 --> 01:16:48,604
[COUGHING AND CHOKING]
1507
01:16:52,042 --> 01:16:54,174
[DISTANT RUMBLING]
1508
01:17:01,660 --> 01:17:02,835
[MEN YELLING]
1509
01:17:15,282 --> 01:17:16,936
[GRUNTING]
1510
01:17:24,161 --> 01:17:25,249
[RUMBLING]
1511
01:17:25,336 --> 01:17:26,642
Wait.
What now?
1512
01:17:27,643 --> 01:17:29,166
The Earth.
1513
01:17:29,253 --> 01:17:30,646
It's moving
beneath us
1514
01:17:36,173 --> 01:17:38,436
[ALL YELLING]
1515
01:17:38,523 --> 01:17:41,352
The ship is provisioned
and ready to sail.
1516
01:17:41,439 --> 01:17:44,442
Oh, one more day, please...
Just in case they're alive.
1517
01:17:44,529 --> 01:17:46,139
They are dead.
1518
01:17:47,401 --> 01:17:50,578
D-E-A-D.
1519
01:17:50,666 --> 01:17:51,667
Dead.
1520
01:17:53,103 --> 01:17:54,060
[MOANING]
1521
01:18:00,676 --> 01:18:01,633
Heidy-ho.
1522
01:18:03,069 --> 01:18:04,462
What happened?
1523
01:18:04,549 --> 01:18:06,638
Mr. Columbus says
that he's ready to go home.
1524
01:18:06,725 --> 01:18:08,858
Wait, Chief, wait!
1525
01:18:09,815 --> 01:18:12,644
First, pow-wow. Pow-wow.
ALL: Oh!
1526
01:18:21,348 --> 01:18:23,307
No, no, thank you.
I'm not hungry.
1527
01:18:26,614 --> 01:18:31,010
So, you no want
to leave us?
1528
01:18:32,838 --> 01:18:35,319
Not without some gold.
1529
01:18:38,670 --> 01:18:41,804
All right. You got it.
You wanna trade?
What do you got to trade?
1530
01:18:41,891 --> 01:18:46,460
Oh, and no more little bells
this time, what do you think?
I never been around the block?
1531
01:18:46,547 --> 01:18:48,898
Oh, and we want wine,
like your annoying lady friend
gave us, all right?
1532
01:18:48,985 --> 01:18:50,943
We want guns,
we want gunpowder.
1533
01:18:51,030 --> 01:18:54,947
No, no, no, but,
you don't want guns!
You are a peaceful people!
1534
01:18:55,034 --> 01:18:57,341
Right.
And then, we met you.
1535
01:18:57,428 --> 01:18:59,299
Became civilized.
1536
01:18:59,386 --> 01:19:01,432
So, you want gold?
Yes.
1537
01:19:01,519 --> 01:19:03,869
Big chunks a gold?
1538
01:19:03,956 --> 01:19:06,306
Yes.
We want wine, and guns,
and gunpowder.
1539
01:19:08,526 --> 01:19:10,484
All right, it's a deal.
[SPITS]
1540
01:19:12,660 --> 01:19:14,271
[SPITS]
1541
01:19:14,358 --> 01:19:15,576
Have a nice day!
1542
01:19:15,663 --> 01:19:17,665
Oh, Hubba?
Chief?
1543
01:19:17,753 --> 01:19:20,146
Bring the gold for trading.
1544
01:19:20,233 --> 01:19:22,409
You know, the, uh, the special
gold, the one we use for
trading with special people.
1545
01:19:22,888 --> 01:19:23,759
Sure, Chief.
1546
01:19:26,587 --> 01:19:28,589
No, no, I'm still not hungry.
1547
01:19:28,676 --> 01:19:31,941
Goodbye, Achmed.
I'm no longer a spy
for the Sultan.
1548
01:19:33,246 --> 01:19:35,553
What about me?
What am I gonna do?
1549
01:19:35,640 --> 01:19:38,512
You could always
go back to Turkey.
Continue working for him.
1550
01:19:38,599 --> 01:19:42,995
No, he'll be angry
at our failure. I'm gonna lose
me pay, me bonuses.
1551
01:19:43,082 --> 01:19:45,171
He might cut off
me emoluments.
1552
01:19:45,258 --> 01:19:48,305
[CHUCKLING]
Well, if he does, you could
always get a job as a eunuch.
1553
01:19:48,392 --> 01:19:49,349
Goodbye.
1554
01:19:52,831 --> 01:19:54,572
[HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYING]
1555
01:20:01,144 --> 01:20:02,623
Get your backs into it!
1556
01:20:06,018 --> 01:20:07,585
MORDECAI: Easy on that rope!
1557
01:20:07,672 --> 01:20:09,543
CREWMAN: All away!
Anchor away!
1558
01:20:10,196 --> 01:20:11,676
[YELLING] Make sail!
1559
01:20:20,946 --> 01:20:23,644
[MOCKING]
So, you're the governor?
1560
01:20:23,731 --> 01:20:26,082
I have had
the experience.
1561
01:20:26,169 --> 01:20:29,302
Yeah, well, you know you're
knuckle-headed friends made
a lot of changes around here.
1562
01:20:29,389 --> 01:20:32,784
Yeah.
For the worse.
No, improvements.
1563
01:20:32,871 --> 01:20:35,047
[GUN FIRING]
[BIRD CAWING]
1564
01:20:35,134 --> 01:20:37,441
Yeah, there's an improvement,
more shootings, huh?
1565
01:20:37,528 --> 01:20:40,574
But, remember, everyone
has a right to carry a gun.
If he can afford one.
1566
01:20:40,661 --> 01:20:42,620
[GUN FIRING]
1567
01:20:42,707 --> 01:20:45,928
Yes, well,
we better get back to the
governor's hut before dark.
1568
01:20:46,015 --> 01:20:47,364
It's not really safe around
here anymore, is it?
1569
01:20:47,451 --> 01:20:48,495
[GUN FIRING]
1570
01:20:49,714 --> 01:20:51,803
[LAUGHING]
Yeah, there is a God.
1571
01:20:56,808 --> 01:20:58,114
Look at it!
1572
01:20:58,201 --> 01:21:01,334
And 10% of it's mine!
BOTH: Ours.
1573
01:21:01,421 --> 01:21:03,815
Ours, ours, of course,
yes, we'll discuss that later.
1574
01:21:05,425 --> 01:21:08,602
Wait a minute.
There's something wrong.
What?
1575
01:21:08,689 --> 01:21:10,691
Doesn't feel heavy enough.
Give me a knife.
1576
01:21:14,173 --> 01:21:15,348
Hmm.
1577
01:21:17,350 --> 01:21:19,439
[COLUMBUS SCREAMING]
1578
01:21:19,526 --> 01:21:21,964
What's that?
Sounds like the Captain!
1579
01:21:22,051 --> 01:21:24,575
Please, God,
he's having a seizure!
1580
01:21:24,662 --> 01:21:27,099
Come on, take something.
It'll make you feel better.
1581
01:21:27,186 --> 01:21:30,276
Better? How can I feel better?
When we get back to Spain,
they'll hang us.
1582
01:21:30,363 --> 01:21:33,279
Well, they fooled us,
maybe it'll fool them!
1583
01:21:33,366 --> 01:21:34,324
You think so?
1584
01:21:45,596 --> 01:21:49,948
May it please Your Majesties
to accept the first
consignment of gold
1585
01:21:50,035 --> 01:21:51,123
from The Indies.
1586
01:22:03,440 --> 01:22:05,485
Behold. The gold.
1587
01:22:09,837 --> 01:22:14,494
Christopher Columbus!
What can I say?
1588
01:22:14,581 --> 01:22:18,759
Is that all there is?
This is a mere sample, sire.
1589
01:22:18,846 --> 01:22:20,457
I'll bring you more
on our next voyage.
1590
01:22:20,544 --> 01:22:23,329
[DOOR OPENING]
Silence, in the name
of Torquemada.
1591
01:22:28,291 --> 01:22:30,815
Was this gold taken from
the natives of The Indies?
1592
01:22:31,816 --> 01:22:33,296
Yes, Father.
1593
01:22:33,383 --> 01:22:37,126
And were these Indians
baptized?
Oh, no, no.
1594
01:22:37,213 --> 01:22:40,825
No. No, they are heathens.
Then, under
Your Majesty's laws...
1595
01:22:40,912 --> 01:22:44,960
This gold, property of heathen
heretics, is confiscated
by the Inquisition.
1596
01:22:47,310 --> 01:22:49,747
Remove it from the court,
for it is accursed,
1597
01:22:49,834 --> 01:22:52,097
and accursed will be
all those who touch it.
1598
01:23:00,758 --> 01:23:03,239
Now, look what's happened.
And it's all your fault.
1599
01:23:03,326 --> 01:23:06,198
My fault? It's his fault!
My fault?
1600
01:23:06,285 --> 01:23:10,681
Yes. Why didn't you have
those Indians baptized?
1601
01:23:10,768 --> 01:23:13,597
Because, sire,
you didn't send me a priest.
1602
01:23:13,684 --> 01:23:14,990
All you sent
was a bookkeeper.
1603
01:23:26,392 --> 01:23:28,307
[GASPING]
Did you get rid of it?
1604
01:23:28,394 --> 01:23:31,528
It sank like
a sack of stones.
There's one thing worries me,
1605
01:23:31,615 --> 01:23:33,878
supposing somebody
asks the Inquisition
what happened to it?
1606
01:23:33,965 --> 01:23:37,316
Bart, nobody questions
the Inquisition, they're the
ones who ask the questions.
1607
01:23:47,152 --> 01:23:48,110
Bart...
1608
01:23:54,377 --> 01:23:58,033
As the ship's captain,
I now pronounce you
man and wife.
1609
01:24:01,384 --> 01:24:02,602
I do love a nice wedding.
1610
01:24:02,689 --> 01:24:03,647
[ALL CLAPPING]
1611
01:24:07,216 --> 01:24:08,130
Hmm! Hmm!
1612
01:24:09,522 --> 01:24:10,393
[GRUNTS PLAYFULLY]
1613
01:24:20,794 --> 01:24:22,405
Carry on, Columbus...
1614
01:24:22,492 --> 01:24:23,362
[HORSE NEIGHING]
1615
01:24:31,588 --> 01:24:32,371
[GRUNTING]
[GIGGLING]
113527
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