Original subtitles

[soft, nostalgic music playing]

[horse whinnies]

[horse whinnies]

Horsie! Here.

Come.

[horse whinnies]

[music grows somber]

[man] There's a white horse in the stables. You wanna see?

-Oh, where is it? -[man] Come, I'll show you.

[horse whinnies]

[Ada] "Until you make the unconscious conscious,

it will direct your life,

and you will call it fate," Jung tells us.

But is it really possible?

Is it possible to bring to light what's been hidden in the darkness for so long?

[horse whinnies]

ANOTHER SELF

[music fades]

[Mavi] Mommy, I'm scared! Mommy!

[sobbing] Mommy!

-[Leyla] I'm coming, I'm coming. -[Mavi] Mommy!

[Leyla] I'm here, Mavi, I'm here.

Just shut up already. I'm so sick of this.

-You do this every night. -Sarp, don't start.

-[Mavi] Mommy! -All right, love. Okay, I'm here.

I'm here, baby girl. Calm down.

Sarp, soon we're gonna move into a bigger house,

and you'll have your own room.

So please, please just stop it now.

Are you scared? Tell Mommy what's wrong.

Will you sleep with me, Mommy? I'm scared.

Mm, all right. Okay, I'll sleep with you. Just lie down for me.

Come on. Let's make you feel better.

How about you and I read a nice bedtime story?

-You wanna? -Can we?

You bet.

We've got some books over here. I'll grab one of these.

-'Kay, Mom. -[Leyla] Here, choose one of these.

All right. It's between these, Lee the Chimpanzee.

And the other one is… Horse Stable.

[somber music playing]

Horse Stable sounds better.

Um, Lee the Chimpanzee sounds better, I think.

How 'bout we go for that one?

No, I want the horses. Can you take me to see horsies?

Mavi, how am I supposed to find somewhere to see horsies where we live?

Aw! I really, really, want to.

Oh. [sighs]

All right.

I'll figure it out.

-Okay. -'Kay?

[somber music fades]

[indistinct chattering]

[Ada] Thank you.

Sevgi.

What happened? Is Deniz okay?

She's fine, honey. Don't worry.

She was caught with drugs while riding the bus.

-What? -Yeah.

She tried to flee after an altercation with an officer,

and was insistent on having a lawyer, so they couldn't get a statement from her.

-So what's gonna happen? -Thank God they barely found anything.

So I will try my best to have them give her probation.

They plan to keep her here until she appears in front of a judge.

So there's no need for you two to wait.

But when it's time for her statement, I'll be with her, so it'll be fine, okay?

-'Kay. Thank you so much. -Of course. You're welcome.

-Özgür, so nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you. Glad you're okay too.

[Sevgi] Mmm.

Attorney Sevgi Solmaz Seyhan.

[knocking on door]

-Deniz! -[sighs]

[Özgür sighs] Those earrings Deniz was wearing were yours, right?

-[Ada] How'd you know that? -I saw them on the plane.

Yeah.

She ran off with them, so… I guess she stole them. [scoffs]

They were from my father.

I made the mistake of telling her about them.

So that's how that went down.

Hey, Ada, listen,

I know you're mad right now, and rightfully so.

But if you don't at least try to help Deniz…

and sorry if I'm overstepping or if this is too much for you--

but I feel like you're gonna regret it.

But how can I help someone who doesn't wanna be helped?

Like, if she never got caught, she'd be out of here by now.

-She'd be out of my life anyway. -Yeah. But she did get caught.

Um, I mean… she might just need to feel seen.

This could be for attention. I don't know.

Why are you defending her?

Wasn't there a reason you were looking for Deniz for such a long time?

I just say this all to remind you, so you don't regret it.

[Ada] Yeah.

I had a reason.

There's nobody else left in my family.

And I thought that if…

[sentimental music playing]

That if we met up…

then, maybe…

we'd form a bond.

[sighs softly]

Özgür, you barely even know me.

But you've been there for me.

Today you were there for me too. Right?

[Ada sighs happily]

[sighs] You wanna come in for a bit?

You know I'd love to.

But I'd be late for my class tomorrow if I did.

All right.

By the way…

-These are yours. -Mine?

Ah…

Are you sure? We haven't talked about it.

I'll give your number to my sister. You'll work it out.

[sighs] All right.

Good night, Özgür.

Good night, Ada.

Rest up. Do your best not to think about her.

I'll try.

-Drive safe. -[Özgür] I will.

[slow, haunting music playing]

[airy vocalizations lilting]

[haunting music building]

[sobbing]

[seabirds calling]

-[cell phone vibrating] -[haunting music fades]

[exhales deeply]

Yes, Ms. Songül?

Uh-huh.

[Rıza sighs]

[breathing shakily]

Hey, love. He's still feverish and delirious.

Should I force him to check into urgent care?

[tearfully] I spoke with Ada on the phone.

She's coming by tomorrow anyway, so it'll be fine.

What's going on with you? Hm?

-Sevgi? -I heard from Ms. Songül.

-And? -[sniffles]

Our application was suspended.

[somber music playing]

But she told me…

that when our conditions change, we'll be able to reapply then.

I'll… go get the börek. My mom made it.

[chuckles] With spinach. The kind you like.

[Fiko sighs]

[music fades]

So, are you gonna explain yourself?

What should I do? Apologize to you?

An explanation would be a good start.

It'd be really great if you could be honest this time.

Okay! I'll be honest with you.

I don't like you as a person.

I've hated you ever since I was a child.

-How about that? -I never forced you to come.

So, why are you here?

Because when you called me, I didn't have anywhere else to go.

I got fired from my job. I wait tables at a diner.

No, I don't have a cruise ship job.

I don't even have a home to go to. I crash wherever I can.

And that bus ticket cost the last of my fucking money, Ada.

So you didn't tell me the truth about anything, huh?

Nothing?

You were already contemplating leaving me at the bus stop before I got off.

If I told the truth, think you would've been happy?

You hated me before you ever got the chance to know me.

-I don't know you? -Is that what you told me?

[Deniz scoffs]

Let me tell you a few things about yourself, then.

In high school, you were valedictorian.

Same story with med school.

And you were just the perfect kid. You were smart and mature.

You'd never upset Dad.

You're wondering how I know so much about you?

Dad used to bring all this up to motivate me.

Talking about you whenever I made a mistake.

-How could I have known? I had no idea. -He still chose you in the end!

I didn't know about you until after my mom died,

and she just left behind a bag full of pictures and letters for me.

Why'd you rip up those letters?

-All those letters are lies! -Your mom got those letters from our dad!

Listen to me! Just listen to me, okay?

If I was loved that much by my father,

do you think my life would have ended up being this shitty?

Here.

Yeah, here are your earrings, by the way.

'Cause Dad never left a damn thing for me, Ada.

Not even his last name. I mean, come on!

Salihoğlu, bullshit!

But you're special.

Ada Korkmaz.

Kemal Korkmaz's kid.

You have this perfect life, don't you?

You really mind giving some stupid earrings to me?

Deniz, Dad did give you his own last name. It's Salihoğlu.

[somber music rises]

Salihoğlu's the family name, Deniz. From before he was adopted.

I'm so blessed with that. So now I forgive him?

After everything, I'll just forgive him?

You know how you wanted to meet me?

This is me.

Nice to meet you.

-[music fades] -[exhales sharply]

[breathes deeply]

[seabirds calling]

[Deniz] How'd you know I was here?

You wanna make a deal with me?

You can stay with me till you get back on your feet.

I have two rules, though.

You're gonna stop doing drugs, and you'll never lie to me again.

Oh, fuck off, Ada!

Come on. I stole jewelry from you. I tore apart your whole house.

You Bishop Myriel, or what?

-Les Misérables fan? -Nah.

You know, since I'm stupid. We didn't have any books in Georgia.

[Ada] Don't litter.

Dad would always tell me not to throw anything outside

that I wouldn't put in my pocket.

[reflective music playing]

True.

He did say that.

He taught me about Les Misérables.

Same here.

You know, not everything I told you was a lie.

I was a dancer for a while. I worked on cruise ships too.

A few years ago, I got injured on the ship.

So I can't really dance anymore.

It used to be everything to me.

I started getting high because of that.

I'm not a bad person.

And I'm not nearly as perfect as you think I am.

[chuckles] Trust me.

So? Do you accept my offer?

Or should I repeat my conditions?

[music fades]

Here, come in.

Whoa, look who's here! We've got my special princess.

And there's my lion.

-And my lady. -[sighs]

[Sarp] Dad, I'm hungry. Is there any food?

There's a whole kitchen for you. Eat whatever you want.

-Go ahead. -Go take your sister with you too.

She should eat something. 'Kay, honey? Go with Sarp.

I'll be right there. Give me one minute.

'Kay, come sit down.

I've prepared the contract and looked over all the clauses.

It turned out great. Take a look. Let's sign it and get it over with.

We're gonna need to put in a couple of clauses.

All right. Let's add them.

For starters…

They won't even touch that painting on the wall there, Erdem.

They can't touch it anyway. Second?

Second of all, Fiko will stay and continue to manage the restaurant.

We can figure that out. We'll see.

Then figure it out.

[sighs]

Also, I couldn't tell Fiko about what's happening.

He was so upset about his father.

I gotta loop him in. I've gotta tell him myself.

Okay.

This was a great decision, Leyla. I'm serious.

And I've taken care of the boat too.

It's gonna be ours as soon as we get the money.

Everything's gonna work out. You'll see.

You made a great call. I…

[sighs] I'm gonna go check on the kids now.

Okay.

[upbeat music playing on radio]

-What's that? -That's musakkas.

It's just musakka. Muko makes it too.

-[Mavi] What's that? -That's… pabucaki, Mavi.

There's no way. That's just karnıyarık, bro.

You think we don't know, Yorgos? Everything here's Turkish.

Sarp, aren't we neighbors?

Does it matter who named what and which dish was made in which country?

We're similar, and so is our food. Am I right, Mavi?

Makes sense.

Sarp, just let Chef Yorgos cook for you.

I'm curious where you live. Is it close to here?

I… live out on a horse farm.

-What? On a horse farm? -Yeah, with horsies.

Mommy, can we go see the horsies, please?

I wanna go.

[air hissing softly]

Mr. Rıza, how long have you had these symptoms?

[Rıza] I've always had them.

I saw a doctor in Adana. He said I could never drink again.

[groans]

I can't stand this world even for a day if I don't have a drink in my hand ready.

And then I came over here.

I just wanted to come see that bastard one last time before I go.

But he made me regret coming.

Can I ask you something, if that's all right?

Go ahead.

Have you gone through… any sort of trauma, Mr. Rıza?

Something that happened that you don't ever talk about?

You push it down?

[hesitates] What? How did you know about that?

Our bodies… sometimes express things that we're not able to ourselves.

[tense music rising]

And obviously, your body's been trying to express something to you.

I feel like I'll be able to help you if you let me.

We can come up with a treatment program.

[sighs] Forget about it.

There's no point in trying to get myself better now.

[music fades]

[somber music playing]

He has symptoms of cirrhosis.

His neurological disorder is progressing as well.

I need to order a few liver tests for him.

I also think he should go in to have an MRI.

But he has to be willing to receive the treatment.

Ada, is there something we can do to help him?

Well, he needs to rest for now. He should be well-fed too.

Don't let him get lonely.

The most important thing you can do for him is to let him stay here.

I'll make some bone broth. It'll make him feel better.

Thank you.

I'll go up there and check on him.

Hey, what's up?

Are you all right, hon?

Honestly, Ada, I'm not.

All of this was my fault, you know?

It was me who wanted him to move out of our place.

And our application was suspended too, so…

-[somber music playing] -Sevgi.

-[sighs] -That's terrible.

[sighs] Oh, well.

Maybe it wasn't the right time to have a kid anyway.

You saw the kind of state he's in.

I regret it and feel terrible about what happened, but… what's done is done.

Maybe Fiko needs to spend some quality time with his father.

[Sevgi] Mm.

I think there's something between those two they have to get resolved.

[sighs] What's the Deniz update?

-Well, I gave her another chance. -Mm.

-I hope this time, it'll be different. -Fingers crossed.

-Ah! -Hm?

-I found a place for my clinic. -[sighs]

-Özgür's mother's house. -Thank God. I'm so happy.

Wow. It's been forever since I've heard some good news.

-Hm. -And also…

That Özgür guy's quite the looker.

Well… [laughs]

And he's single. That man's a catch. I'm telling you, I can tell by the eyes.

-You can see it in the eyes? Like that? -Every time, baby.

You know, not in my own experience, but with clients, yeah.

You remember how Leyla said she was about to move and sell the tavern…

You think she's venting or something like that?

-Was that real? -Don't remind me.

She's serious about it.

[Leyla] Why have you been staying here, Yorgos?

[Yorgos] I grew up on a farm in Crete.

They were trying to find someone to look after the horses.

But now I'm gonna have to find someone to replace me here.

Since you decided to move forward with the sale,

I think I'll head back to Greece again.

Yeah. Unfortunately, we sold.

How come?

"How come"?

[tense music playing]

Yeah, I wanna know. Why did you? You're telling me you're not happy here?

[Mavi] Mommy, the horsies are so pretty! Come here!

One second, Mavi!

I'm coming. Wait for Mommy.

[Mavi panting]

-[tense music rises] -[Leyla sighs]

Mavi.

[horses neigh]

[heartbeat thumping]

-[horse huffs] -[gasps]

[huffs]

[echoing]

[breathing shakily]

[horse huffs]

-[gasps] -[eerie distortion rising]

-[neighing echoing] -[breathing heavily]

[gasps]

[tense music fades]

Leyla.

You all right?

What's happening?

-You fainted. -[Leyla sighs]

Careful.

[exhales heavily]

[sighs deeply]

Mavi's still in there.

Relax. Mavi's fine. She's with the new friends she made.

-[kids chatting] -[Leyla gasps]

Are you all right, Leyla?

I don't know. I'm like…

Mavi! Mavi!

Mavi, we're leaving. Let's go.

Hurry, baby. Come on. Let's go.

Leyla.

-Enjoying yourselves? -[bright music playing]

All right. I'll get the güveç for you.

Güveç for table 42.

[sighs] Leyla, look at this, thank God! That's Ada's sister.

She asked me to bring her on as a favor.

-[Deniz] Hello. What are we having? -She's doing great. Smart girl.

-Fiko, we have to talk about something. -Hüseyin, come in.

-There's a table for you. -Hey, Fiko.

Look at how beautiful. This scene belongs in a museum.

Yorgos has helped so much.

Reservations are through the roof. Everyone's asking for Yorgos.

It's been a godsend to have him, for me too. My mind is just a mess.

Dad and the adoption… But we'll make it up, Leyla.

We'll get there.

I decided I'm selling the restaurant.

What? What'd you say?

It was a great offer, Fiko.

And I put in the contract that you'll still be the manager once it's sold.

You're getting your partner share too. Don't worry.

So that's it, Leyla?

What are you saying? What does that even mean?

We just got back in business. What made you decide that? I don't get it.

Fiko, the whole thing's been so difficult. Please, don't do this to me.

This is for the kids. It's so important to our family.

What am I supposed to say after you tell me it's for the family?

I can't be mad.

You never asked me when you bought the place.

So why would you ask me when you sell?

It's okay. It's what you had to do.

Mm.

[upbeat music playing]

You think this music's cool? I put a playlist on for some new vibes.

It's cool. You can do whatever.

I only have a few more days.

That new chef you got? He is hot.

[guests clapping and whistling]

[clapping to beat]

[Greek folk music playing]

[guests cheering]

[music fades]

[guests cheering]

[music picks up]

[exclaiming]

Get in! Get in!

[all exclaiming]

[music ends]

ELENI'S TAVERN

[Fiko] She's selling Eleni's Tavern.

And who's gonna buy it? We don't even know them.

-And I'll have to deal with them. -[sighs]

It's a very tough position that she's put me in.

[sighs] Fiko…

How's my Dad?

Good. He had some of my mother's soup. Hm.

-She's the only one he talks to. -That's good.

I was completely out of line.

I have no idea how that stuff came out of my mouth.

How could I say that to him?

And Zaman and I had talked this through, even.

Even still…

It's all my fault.

[somber music playing]

It's all my fault, Fiko.

No, it's not. What's it got to do with you? Hm?

This thing with me and my dad has been building up for a long time.

All you want is to finally become a mother.

That's your motivation.

I think that's why you've been stressed.

Yeah, but… I was so focused on all stuff we had to do for the adoption,

I neglected my husband.

[sighs]

And plus, all we wanted was for our family to start growing.

Well, it still grew.

From now on, we'll keep our focus on how we can help your dad get better again.

That's what we'll work on, okay?

You know how blessed I am to have you? Hm?

You're like a special kind of flower that blossoms every day.

I guess you got that poet gene from your dad, love.

No, I got it from you. It's 'cause I love you.

[Sevgi chuckles]

All right.

-'Kay, come on. -I love you.

-To good times ahead of us. -To good times.

Wait, you're having that neat?

If I don't have it neat, who will?

[bright music playing]

-I'm gonna take out this wall. -[Özgür] Uh-huh.

And when we're done, we'll close off the fireplace

and build an alcove here.

-Chandelier here. -Okay.

We'll divide this part with glass doors.

And then, this'll be the entrance. Another chandelier, of course.

We'll put up nice wallpaper…

So, if you're having second thoughts, last chance.

Well, I'm not having any second thoughts myself.

Does Doctor Ada feel the same?

Do I look like I have a problem?

Right now…

I'm contemplating driving over to come see you.

[clicks tongue] Me too.

How 'bout we both drive and meet somewhere in the middle like Bursa?

-Have some İskender kebab? -[laughs]

[knocking on door]

-Özgür, let me call you back in a bit. -Of course. Yeah, call me. See you.

[call disconnects]

[Leyla sighs]

Where can I register myself as a patient?

[gentle music playing]

[Ada] The architect says we should cover the ceiling, but I like the beams.

It's so beautiful, Ada.

Come on, I promise this place will be amazing, you'll see.

-Thank you. -[Leyla sighs]

And thanks again for giving Deniz the job.

Oh, don't mention it.

And anyways, I'm selling Eleni's Tavern.

So she'll have to hang out with Fiko now, I guess.

Are you sure about this?

No, Ada, I'm not. I'm not sure about anything nowadays.

By the way, are we fine?

Were we ever not?

-No, I love you. -Mm.

[Leyla grunts]

I think it's really awesome that you and Özgür are happy.

You keep scratching. What's going on with you?

-Oh, I feel terrible. -Let's see.

[groans]

Leyla, what's that?

-It was only this spot itching yesterday-- -Don't touch it.

Now it's itchy like everywhere on my back.

-What's going on? I don't know. -Allergic reaction, probably.

Did you buy a new perfume or something?

Or wear a new piece of clothing before you put in the wash?

No.

Or, Maybe you got scratched by a plant, or you were near some kind of animal?

Yesterday, Mavi and I went to a horse farm.

At the barn when I walked in,

all of a sudden I felt weird, and I completely passed out.

-[tense music playing] -Passed out?

Yeah. Do you think that's what's up with me?

Have you ever been on a horse farm before? Or…?

As a kid, I used to love horses so much

that I would get in trouble for ditching school to go see them.

Then one day, I felt so scared for some reason,

and I stopped visiting the horse farm.

-You're saying I'm allergic, though? -Well, after that, I don't think you are.

-Leyla, I mean come on, you passed out. -What do you mean?

It can be that… when we go through an experience like trauma,

maybe it can move to the back of our mind.

We might not even remember.

But our body might remember it, though.

And when we enter an environment that reminds us of that,

even seeing something, smelling something

can trigger our nervous system and produce that type of reaction.

-[sighs] So maybe that's what's going on? -Let's try something.

[softly] Please help me.

[Ada] We're going to do something to release the tension in that area.

-[gentle music playing] -[Leyla breathes deeply]

First, let's take a deep breath.

All right? In through the nose, out through the mouth.

Just breathe with me.

[breathes deeply]

[sighs]

Before you went, how were you?

Good.

And when did that change?

-[takes a deep breath] -[horses whinnying]

As soon as I got hit with the smell in there.

[Ada] Okay. Now, close your eyes.

Keep your focus on breathing.

[breathing deeply]

[sounds distort]

[young Leyla chuckles softly]

[horse snorts]

[soft rattling]

[heavy breathing]

[Ada] You okay, Leyla?

[tense music rises]

I'm pretty sure now I remember.

But I'm not… totally sure if it happened.

[gently] That's fine.

Close your eyes for a second. I'm here.

Deep breaths.

-[Leyla takes a deep breath] -[Ada] Yeah?

What's going on in your body right now?

Under your skin?

[exhale echoing]

[tense music rises]

[exhales sharply, sobs]

-[Ada] I'm right here. -[sighs]

Just breathe. You got it, keep on breathing deeply.

Now look at little Leyla in the stable.

[Leyla breathing shakily]

-[Ada] How is little Leyla? -[Leyla] She's scared. She feels guilty.

Because she skips school to be on the farm

and never tells her father anything about it.

She has to keep a secret from everyone.

And what does little Leyla need to feel all right again?

She needs protection, I think.

So now I need you to go to a time when adult Leyla felt protected.

I never feel that, though.

Just wait. You'll think of one.

When you felt secure, you felt strong, you felt safe.

[breathes shakily, gasps]

[sighs] Something's coming to me.

[bright music rises]

-[excited chatter] -[plates clattering]

[Ada] If you were to assign a color to that moment, what would it be?

[Leyla] Yellow.

Brightness.

The color of light.

[Ada] Now, give that color to little Leyla.

-[sighs] -[Ada] The yellow…

The brightness…

The light…

The peace…

-The courage… -[sighs]

-I'm here with you now. -[sobbing]

Leyla, I'm so sorry for forgetting you all this time.

But I'm here now.

You are not alone.

You were so scared, I know.

You are innocent.

But I'm here for you from now on.

You don't have to worry anymore.

Come on.

Please.

[sighs]

[sniffles]

Let's get out of here together.

[music peaks and fades]

-[somber music playing] -You've achieved so many wonderful things.

So many. You have wonderful children.

A job that makes you so happy too.

And over there, it's magic.

People fall in love when they're sitting at those tables.

They dance all night. They celebrate their lives there.

And you and I made that happen together.

I'll never leave you alone again.

I have to focus on protecting my family, and I really needed a reminder of that.

[Leyla sighs]

[gentle music playing]

[Ada] Children can't protect themselves.

They need the adults in their lives to protect them.

But sometimes, adults can be so focused on their own problems

that they don't even notice what's going on right in front of them.

[Leyla] My sweet girl.

[Leyla sighs]

[sighs]

How can I protect you when the world out there is so twisted and evil?

My father couldn't protect me.

My mother never did either.

And if you can always tell me the truth, then…

then I can teach you how to keep yourselves safe without me.

[Ada] Blaming our parents for our childhood trauma

won't make that trauma heal.

On the contrary, it prevents us from healing.

-[Deniz] Good morning. -How are you?

Heading to the clinic?

The contractors need another week, so in the meantime,

I figured I'd get out of here.

-The house will be yours till I get back. -Don't worry. I'll take care of it.

Also, will you take a look at this? We'll talk about it later.

So, are you gonna tell me where you're going?

[Ada] Somewhere I've never been.

[gentle music playing]

ADDICTION TREATMENT

[Ada] Jung said, "Until you make the unconscious conscious,

it will direct your life,

and you will call it fate," Jung tells us.

But will bringing what's been hidden in the dark for years to light

be enough to change our fates?

[Erdem chatting indistinctly]

Oh, Leyla. Sit down, dear.

The contract's all ready for us to sign, so let's take care of it now.

-Then we'll head to the notary. -I won't waste your time.

Because my mind's been changed.

-What's that? -Eleni's Tavern is not for sale.

[Yavuz] Erdem, what's going on?

Because to me, this place is much more… more than just a tavern.

So it's not for sale.

But you're welcome to stay for dinner. We'll have a nice table reserved for you.

And Chef Yorgos's new menu is coming out tonight,

so you can enjoy that.

-Leyla, dear… -Honey, take care of the reservation.

-[Yavuz] What's going on? -[Erdem] It's nothing. Don't worry.

We'll figure it out.

["Bu Gece" playing]

-[Yavuz] We'll get going. -[Erdem] It's just women, you know?

[reflective tune continues]

Come in.

SEVGİ SOLMAZ LAW & CONSULTING

[Ada] Perhaps our destiny is shaped right here and now

by which doors we choose to open and which we choose to close.

[both breathing heavily]

["Bu Gece" by Tuğçe Şenoğul plays]

[music fades]