Original subtitles

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote.

Are you a reporter? Crime is my beat.

Murder, my specialty.

The story is dead. D-E-A-D.

I understand dead.

But what wasn't a blur is a complete blank.

A bronze apple core belonging to David Eisenhower.

Sweetheart, not again tonight.

I'm sorry, honey. Can't be helped.

That's you, if you put on any show about my bears.

I'm gonna make you a star.

Is that your solution?

To kill me?

And down goes another of our valiant men in blue.

A victim.

A victim of misplaced faith.

Thank God that this was not a real tragedy,

but rather, a graphic demonstration

of self-serving exaggeration.

And yes, even fraud.

And a courtesy of the Acme Bulletproof Vest Company,

who claim that their product

can withstand a .45 caliber slug.

Well, Clare,

let's show our viewers the tragic results

of this impartial test.

Had this flimsy protection

been worn by one of Denver's finest,

that bullet would have ripped

through the vest and into the che...

Mr. Chambers. Look, not a scratch.

What? The vest. It really works.

Cut. Cut the cameras.

Look, are you people all incompetent or what?

Look, I blow ten holes in ten vests,

and the damn thing works!

When we do it for the camera, the damn thing works!

Now where the hell is Ryan?

Look! Will someone get me a canon?

I want something that will blow a hole in that thing.

Steve, damn it.

Can't you do something about these lights?

They're burning a hole in my head.

Don't tell me. "Go find Ryan."

Murray, you wanna bring the lights down

before the prima Donna's head melts off?

Or somebody blows it off.

Ryan.

See you later, babe.

If you're through notching your bedpost,

why don't you zip up your brain and get back to work?

What? Is the Great One having another temper tantrum?

Mr. Chambers needs you. Now!

No. What he needs is a good swift kick. Move it, Romeo.

[Jessica] I can't believe it's been seven years since the wedding.

And your dance marathon with my crazy Uncle Buck.

If Steve hadn't rescued me,

my feet would still be hurting.

How is your dear husband? Mmm. Well,

nobody said that the honeymoon would last forever.

Oh, don't like the sound of that.

Oh, we're muddling through, Jess.

But I can sum up the problem in two words...

Kenneth Chambers.

Steve produces his program. Chambers?

Oh, yes, I remember, you wrote me about him.

A compulsive egomaniac

suffering from delusions of grandeur?

That was last month.

These days, he's even worse.

And I think Steve would like to quit his job,

but then there'd be two of us out of work.

Well, you could always re-establish your practice.

Mmm. Most of my patients

have scattered to other psychiatrists.

Besides, it'd be like... stepping backwards.

Oh, look, enough about my troubles.

Steve can't wait to see you,

and I can't tell you how delighted he is

that you're going to guest

on his new book review program.

Well, anyone who would rescue me from your Uncle Buck

deserves my lifelong gratitude.

This is the rough footage we got with Flannigan.

The Acme vest? Well, it's cumbersome.

I mean, I wouldn't put it on my dog

if I expected him to fetch the paper.

But, uh, in a dangerous situation,

it's the most effective product I've ever seen.

Boring testimonial stuff, right?

Now, take a look at this next one.

I had our boys do a little bit of editing.

[Flannigan] The Acme vest?

In a dangerous situation,

I wouldn't put it on my dog...

Kenneth, that's unethical.

It's brilliant.

Look, who cares? I care.

Gee, that's not fair.

Kenneth, there isn't a South American coup

that can match the one I just pulled off.

The Hammet Cheese tapes.

They're all we need to throw Hammet

into the fondue as it were.

That story's dead.

What do you mean, "dead"?

I spent weeks digging up this evidence.

It's all here.

Watch my lips, Lynette. The story is dead.

D-E-A-D.

You do understand dead, don't you?

I understand dead.

Oh, thanks... for all your support, Steve.

Got a minute for a famous author?

Jessica! Oh, my gosh.

You look great.

Oh, I would have been at the airport,

but things have got a little crazed around here.

I know, a show a week, ready or not.

Believe me, I know all about deadlines.

Hiya, honey. Hiya, honey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Not this stuff again, please. Mmm...

Jayne, when are you gonna dump this loser

and run off with a certified winner like me?

Mmm, when you get a new line. Rob.

I believe you have met Jessica Fletcher.

Oh, yes. At the wedding.

As I remember, you were the life of the party, Mr. Warren.

Oh, well, forgive me, Mrs. Fletcher,

but what wasn't a blur is a complete blank.

Well that's very convenient.

But when ones' best friend steals the love of his life from under his nose,

it's either "laugh, clown, laugh" or slit your wrists,

and I didn't have the blood to spare.

But, Jessica,

if there is anything that I can do for you

while you're in Denver, you need only command.

Oh, this young man has got to be

your number-one salesman. Used to be.

Used to be. Then they promoted me to station manager

either out of pity or desperation.

I haven't figured that one out yet.

Uh, so, Jessica, let me take you on the 50-cent tour.

I think these two wanna talk about us.

Oh, that's very nice. Thank you.

So how was the rest of your day?

Ah, all things considered, almost placid.

But then the day is not over yet.

Yeah.

Excuse me.

Mr. Rinaldi. Mr. Rinaldi, sir.

You can't park like that, sir.

[Clare] You can't go in there.

Thank you. No!

I'm sorry, Mr. Chambers. I tried to stop him.

What are you tryin' to do, destroy me?

How are you, Joe?

My ulcer is acting up, and I ain't about to eat

a boatload of stuffed bears from Taiwan.

Now, I spent a fortune on these stupid toys,

and you're not about to ruin me.

Well...

those bears are unsafe, Joe.

Unsafe? No.

This is unsafe. And I'm warning you, Chambers.

That's you, if you put on any show about my bears.

And here, of course, the piece de resistance.

A Rogues' Gallery of life's famous losers.

Kenneth Chambers's Wall of Fame and Shame.

[Kenneth] Clare!

Yes, sir?

[Kenneth] I thought I told Ryan to have this TV fixed!

Now where the hell is he?

I'll find him.

TV repairman.

Very funny. Very funny.

Suppose you channel that sense of humor of yours into...

J.B. Fletcher.

Now, this is a pleasure.

Steve told me that you were coming.

I can't tell you how much I admire your work.

Why, thank you, Mr. Chambers.

I've heard a great deal about you as well.

Is that right?

What? The article in The New York Times?

Um, from Jayne and Steve.

Oh...

Well, Steve's great.

Great, like my right arm. I couldn't get along without him.

Say, now I hope you're staying for the next few days.

Well, I, uh... I've got a terrific show

lined up for Saturday evening.

I'm pulling the plug on Rinaldi Toys.

Oh, come on Ken, I thought that we'd already discussed this.

Joe Rinaldi plunks down a lot of advertising bucks in this station.

That doesn't give him a license to bilk our public,

now does it, Rob?

Look, the man is a menace.

Besides which, I've got an obligation to my viewers.

- I am merely suggesting that we... - [Kenneth] Sorry.

We go with this, Saturday, Warren.

Unless, of course, you'd like to pull the plug on me.

Because if you do, there are plenty of places I can go,

as you well know.

Ah, but what are we arguing for?

Especially in front of our guest.

J.B. Fletcher, say hello to my assistant, Clare Henley.

Hello. What a pleasure, Mrs. Fletcher. Kenneth...

I mean Mr. Chambers said you were coming.

He is such a fan.

Oh! Oh, you idiot!

[Ryan] I... I... I'm sorry, sir. It was an accident.

"Accident." Your whole life is an accident, Monroe.

Look, that's it!

Look, you have screwed up for the last time.

You're fired!

Kenneth, he certainly didn't mean to...

I said, out! Now!

Uh, perhaps we should go to the restaurant and meet Steve.

I think a escape is definitely in order.

[Kenneth] Oh, well, uh...

Yes, I'm sure we'll be seeing

more of each other, Mrs. Fletcher.

Enjoy your stay in Denver.

Well, thank you, Mr. Chambers.

It's nice meeting you, Miss Henley.

[Steve] No coffee, thanks. It's off my diet.

Yes, I imagine Kenneth Chambers

provides all the stimulant your nerves can handle.

So anyway, for once in his life, old Steve here

is actually hanging tough with me until...

until I unleashed my secret serve.

The "Rob Warren unreturnable."

It's a miracle serve that defies gravity.

I've heard that before. In all modesty.

[Steve chuckles] From there on, I just cruised to victory.

As usual. And as usual, we get to hear all about it.

Of course.

And before you ask, Jessica, no, I'm not masochistic.

I'm into racquetball for the exercise.

It's good old Rob here who thrives on competition.

To the point of compulsion, I might add.

Oh?

Maybe your former psychiatrist

could give us some insight into that?

Mmm. Mmm-mmm.

Please, I would love to, but there are very strict rules

about doctor-patient confidentiality.

And it's a good thing.

Jayne and I had years of pillow talk.

Of course, I was the only one with my head on the pillow.

She was taking notes.

Oh, the things this woman could tell about me.

It's terrifying.

Well, I hate to break up a party, gang, but work beckons.

Orders from "the Great One."

Sweetheart, not again tonight.

I'm sorry, honey. Can't be helped.

I'll probably be late, so don't wait up.

Good night. Thanks, Rob.

Well, I, for one, can commiserate with Steve.

I had to work at the station late every night this week,

and believe me, when there's no one else there,

it's a very lonely place. Well, I doubt that he'll be lonely

with Mr. Chambers around.

Which is exactly why,

for the first time in weeks, I am gonna go home

and get myself a good night's sleep.

Night, Jaynie. Good night, Rob.

And you, madam, I shall expect to see in my office

first thing in the morning to collect your 30 pieces of silver

for your book show appearance.

Here's a dollar.

Would you like that in dimes or quarters?

Jayne, what is it?

I don't know.

Oh, it's nothing really, I guess.

Uh, it's just that, according to Steve,

he's been working late at the station

every night this week, and Rob just let it slip

that he's been working all alone.

Maybe it's just me.

Mr. Chambers. Yoo-hoo.

Mr. Chambers?

You asleep or something?

I hope Steve didn't disturb you when he came home.

It was awfully late.

I didn't hear a thing. Slept straight through.

And he was gone early this morning, too.

Jayne, look, maybe it's none of my business,

and feel free to tell me to shut up,

but Frank and I could always talk things out.

You know, clear the air, whatever's going on.

Well, I'm a very good listener with a very short memory.

Thanks, Jess.

I guess it all started when I quit my practice.

You know, I could never understand that.

You seemed to be doing so well.

Indeed, I was a huge success.

Some of my patients still haven't forgiven me.

Jess, the bottom line, I wanted, still want, a baby.

One doesn't necessarily preclude the other.

Then let's just say that marriage is more

of a full-time job than I thought.

I know Steve is under a lot of pressure from the show,

but, Jess, I feel...

he's drifting away.

So I thought, if I could be there for him all the time...

What is that?

As most of your viewers know, I was Kenneth Chambers's

unofficial police expert.

Naturally I feel a tremendous sense of loss.

The man had guts, integrity,

a real sense of community.

Selfless, dedicated...

Do you have any leads in the killing, Lieutenant?

Leads? Sure.

But nothing I can discuss right now.

A man like Kenneth Chambers had powerful enemies.

Well, could you tell us how he was killed?

Yes. He was shot twice late last evening.

But let me tell you this.

And this is a promise.

Lieutenant Lou Flannigan

will have this great man's killer wrapped up

before you people can say "Film at 11 ."

Thanks very much.

We've been talking to Lieutenant Louis Flannigan

of the Denver Police.

This is Rick Coleman reporting live from Station KBLR.

Back to you, Allison.

Thanks a lot, Lieutenant. Sure. Anything you need.

Yeah, we'll be in touch.

Uh, excuse me, Lieutenant? Yeah?

Uh, I was wondering, could you tell us just about

when this happened? Certainly.

It was between 10:00 and 12:00 last evening.

The killer, uh... Are you a reporter?

Oh, no. No, my name is Jessica Fletcher and uh...

Fletcher? I know that name.

And the face. Are you sure you're not with the media?

No, no, I'm... I'm just visiting from out of town.

As my guest. I'm Jayne Honig.

My husband works here as a producer.

Oh, Steve? We've been looking for him.

You're what?

You know where he was last night, ma'am?

Say, between the hours of 10:00 and 12:00?

[Steve] Jayne.

Sweetheart. Thank God, you're safe.

I just got back from playing racquetball with Rob.

I just heard. I don't believe any of this.

Steve, we've gotta talk.

Is there someplace we can be, uh, private?

Well, sure, Lieutenant, there's my office, but...

It's just routine. Don't sweat it.

Ladies, this is an official police interrogation.

No civilians.

Lieutenant... Uh, Lieutenant, you know,

I don't know how you spotted me,

but you certainly had me pegged.

I am a writer.

Crime is my beat. Murder, my specialty.

Somethin' told me.

If you wouldn't mind me sitting in.

I mean, uh, just to observe

a real homicide detective at work.

I wouldn't say a word. Believe me.

Okay, but if you write it up,

I wanna clear the copy.

Oh, absolutely.

The janitor says you and Chambers

were thrashing it out pretty good last night.

We argued, yes. About what?

Ethics, Lieutenant.

He'd edited a tape to make one of our experts

look like an idiot.

He wouldn't do that.

Honesty was Kenneth Chambers's middle name.

Perhaps if you could establish

the time of that argument, Lieutenant.

Sorry.

What time did you leave?

It was around 10:30, and I just went to cool off.

What'd you do, climb Pikes Peak?

I drove around for a couple of hours,

and then I went home.

So you got no witnesses?

What are you driving at?

You argue with Chambers.

Chambers is dead.

And what... what motive could he possibly have?

That is what I intend to find out, ma'am.

Downtown.

Excuse me, sir.

Thought you oughta have a look at this.

This is insane. I didn't kill anybody.

Of course you didn't.

Mr. Honig.

Do you have a permit to carry this weapon, sir?

Me? This is not mine. No?

Then how did it come to be in the backseat of your car?

One of my men spotted it through the window.

Also, two shots have been fired.

My guess is, this is the gun that killed Kenneth Chambers.

What's your guess?

Lieutenant, for heavens sakes!

Anyone could have planted that gun.

Ma'am, you're just an observer here.

Yes, and what I've observed

is a complete lack of common sense.

If he was the killer,

why would he return to the scene of the crime

with the murder weapon carelessly concealed

in the back of his car

when he had all night to dispose of it?

There's a perfectly logical reason for that.

Yes?

Steve. Steve, I just heard.

Excuse me, sir, but I'm interrogating this witness.

And who are you? Robert Warren.

I run this station. And you are?

Oh, Mr. Warren. We haven't met. Lou Flannigan.

You've probably caught me on Chambers's show a few times.

Actually, I hardly ever watched it.

Uh, I'm sorry to disrupt things, Mr. Warren,

but I've got to take Mr. Honig down to the station

for some additional questioning.

Well, you won't mind if I send a lawyer along with him then?

No, not at all.

[Jayne] Are you sure, Rob?

I just feel like I should be there.

All right.

No, whatever you think is best.

I'll wait for your call.

They are going to hold him.

At least until the ballistics results are in.

And I'm afraid that news won't be good.

Steve did not kill that man.

Of course he didn't.

He also doesn't own a gun.

Which means the gun that they found in the backseat

has got to be the murder weapon

planted there by the real killer

to railroad Steve into a conviction.

Jayne...

what time did he come home last night?

I don't know.

1:00,1:30.

Did he say anything?

Anything that could give us a hint

as to what had happened? No.

We didn't speak.

I pretended to be asleep.

Oh, Jess, with what I was feeling,

I was terrified I'd say something I'd regret.

So I just laid there...

silent.

And let my suspicions gnaw at me.

[Lynette] Turn off the faucets, Clare.

Kenneth Chambers only cared about himself.

He and Steve were a couple of self-centered chauvinists.

And with them out of the way, now is our big chance.

Kenneth is dead. How can you talk that way?

Think, Clare!

Think of all the humiliation that bag of gas heaped on you.

On all of us.

Honey...

I wouldn't steer you wrong.

What I'm saying is...

we can take the reins of Kenneth's legacy

and make it stronger.

Different.

We'd make a great team.

I dig up the facts, you feed 'em to the public.

The public, honey.

Kenneth's public.

They're ready for a change.

You know what they want?

They want pretty.

They want happy.

They want young attractive people.

Like me?

Not like you, Clare, you!

Now, I've already talked to Robert,

but we gotta move fast.

I am gonna create a whole new image for you.

New hair, complete makeover,

and a... a sexy wardrobe,

so your public can see the beautiful you.

Sweetheart. I'm gonna make you a star.

Well, Jayne should be worried, Jessica.

We all should.

But Ralph Kensington is the best attorney in this city.

All well and good, Rob, but I honestly believe

that the best way to get Steve off the hook

is to find the real killer, and fast.

Well, if you're looking for suspects, I could name a few dozen.

You mean Joe Rinaldi, the Teddy Bear King?

Oh, I'd put him right at the top of the list is where I'd put him.

Oh, and you may also wanna check on Clare Henley.

She was much more than just his assistant.

Murray!

I want lots of lights. Red and white, flashing.

Excuse me, I'm looking for Clare Henley.

Try backstage. Makeup.

Oh, thank you.

It's Miss Bryant, isn't it?

I don't believe we've met. I'm Jessica Fletcher.

Lynette Bryant. And it's Ms.

Ms. Oh, yes. Ms. Bryant?

The blue. And I want you to plunge the neckline.

Start at the navel and work up.

Yes, ma'am.

Terrible tragedy about Kenneth Chambers, isn't it?

The only tragedy is it took Steve so long to cancel him.

Like I said, you can find Clare backstage.

I've marked the photos I want blown up.

This afternoon at the latest. Right away.

Miss, uh... Ms. Bryant, forgive me, but, uh,

it all looks very much as if The Bottom Line

isn't quite as dead as Kenneth Chambers.

Very observant.

Life goes on, especially in television land.

New star, new producer...

Oh, then you're taking Steve's place?

Hey, I did not step on Steve's bones

to get this gig, believe me.

He hated this job anyway.

What he really wanted was the station manager slot.

Only, the late and not-so-great Kenneth Chambers

made sure Rob Warren got it instead.

Which is why you think that Steve may have killed him.

Now you're catching on.

Kill it!

Sorry.

Look, I am really very busy, Ms. Fletcher.

Uh, it's Mrs. Fletcher.

Whatever.

Hi.

Well, what do you think?

Well, very, um, striking.

I hate it.

I'm beginning to wish I was back to being the weekend weather girl.

Oh!

Look, you wanna talk? Sure.

How about someplace a little more private?

Mmm-hmm.

I grew up about a mile from here.

See those swings?

I used to play on them when I was a kid.

Swinging always made me feel happy.

I'm sure, working for Kenneth Chambers,

you must have been down a lot.

Well, he wasn't perfect, but he was good and honest,

and he helped a lot of people, you know.

It was an honor to work for him,

even though sometimes it was difficult.

Yes, I suppose he was hard on everyone, including Steve.

That's what I don't understand. Steve killing him.

I just don't believe he'd do it.

Good. Neither do I.

Now tell me about Joe Rinaldi.

That thug? He threatened Kenneth, you know,

over that show he was gonna run on the toy company.

Rinaldi has about $10 million worth of toy bears,

just waiting for the Christmas rush.

Toy bears?

How could you have a problem with toy bears?

Kenneth said that Rinaldi cut a lot of corners

with the safety regulations.

And he had proof?

He had a whole show almost on tape.

He said it would ruin Rinaldi when it got on the air.

Clare, I'd like to see that tape. May I?

But I locked them in here myself, Mrs. Fletcher.

The files, the tapes, all the Rinaldi evidence. It's gone.

What are you bustin' my chops for, lady?

The cops got the killer.

What's his name, Hanig, Hahnig, Honig...

I wanna talk to you about some tapes, Mr. Rinaldi.

Some videotapes of your stuffed teddy bears

for a show that Kenneth Chambers

was going to run on Saturday.

I understand that you threatened him.

Threaten? I don't threaten. I negotiate.

Those tapes are missing. What?

Stolen from the station storage room.

Lady, let me give you a clue.

If you find 'em, they're mine.

Bought and paid for with hard Yankee greenbacks.

Bought from whom?

From Chambers. Who else?

Twenty-five thousand in cash,

which I handed over to him early last evening.

Somebody should've told me there was a safe in here.

Kenneth would never take a bribe.

We are just wastin' our time.

You're right, honey.

If there's one thing I know, it's people.

And Kenneth Chambers was too honest.

Oh, yeah? Well, that's the dough I gave Chambers.

Five $5,000 bundles still in their wrappers.

And the missing tapes.

I'd say there's another $50,000 or $60,000 in there.

Perhaps Mr. Rinaldi wasn't the only one

who was paying extortion.

The Hammet Cheese tape. No wonder he killed the story.

I don't believe it. Kenneth was a crook.

Believe it, sweetheart. He had a neat little racket goin'.

I'll just take... Oh, no way, Rinaldi.

Kenneth Chambers may have been dishonest,

but I'm running the show now.

I don't take bribes.

And come Saturday night at 7:30,

The New Bottom Line is gonna crucify you,

aren't we, Clare?

[Lou] Finding the money and tapes

doesn't get Steve Honig of the hot seat.

Oh, Lieutenant, if you would just

open up your mind to the possibilities.

Mrs. Fletcher, you're a sweet lady.

Sweet but, uh, dishonest.

I beg your pardon.

All that donkey dirt

about you being a crime writer.

Lieutenant, I did not lie to you...

exactly.

Yeah. You didn't tell the truth exactly either, did you?

But never mind.

The point is, ma'am, as far as I'm concerned,

Steve Honig killed Chambers and planted those tapes

to smear his good name.

Anyone could have accomplished it.

I mean, maybe Joe Rinaldi came in to get his money back

and ended up shooting Chambers.

No, no, no, no.

Honig went to Chambers's office to smear Chambers.

Well, Chambers surprised him.

Yeah, that's it.

And then, uh, Honig had to shoot him.

You mind if I have a look at those?

No, no. Be my guest.

They're just photos of the murder scene.

You think you can catch something

that the, uh, trained eye couldn't?

Kenneth Chambers was shot through the back of his chair.

He must have been facing away from the door.

Yeah. So?

Well, why was he sitting with his back to the door?

To the untrained eye, it must seem strange,

but if you'll notice,

there's a TV and a VCR behind the desk

on that shelf there.

Ah. He was watching TV.

Uh, Lieutenant, with due respect for your trained eye,

that is impossible.

I was in Mr. Chambers's office and, uh,

his television was broken.

Broken?

Broken.

Which makes me wonder what he was doing

sitting in that, uh, odd position.

Well, obviously...

Yes?

Obviously, uh...

this is gonna take some thought.

[Jessica] Any news from the lawyer?

Oh, he's still trying to arrange for Steve's release,

but it doesn't look very good.

Rob, The Bottom Line.

Whose idea was it to revive the show

without Kenneth Chambers?

Lynette Bryant's.

Why? You think Lynette may have personally canceled Kenneth

just to get her own shot?

I've heard of worst motives. Oh, I suppose.

She's a very talented girl who wasn't given much to do

under Steve's wing.

It's funny.

Under the new format, everybody's coming out a winner.

You know, Jessica, this isn't public knowledge,

but Kenneth was thinking about taking the show to the network

and leaving everyone else behind.

My goodness. Including Clare?

Oh, especially Clare.

See, everyone here knew about the romance,

and no matter how hard Kenneth tried to shake her loose,

well, somehow she always managed to hang on with a firm grip.

It's ironic, though, isn't it.

Now that he's dead and Lynette's running the show,

Clare is going to be a star.

Oh, well, excuse me. Duty calls.

Ironic.

I'm sure you will all be able to sleep better at night

knowing that The New Bottom Line

will continue its costumer crusades...

[Lynette over PA] Cut!

It's "consumer crusades", Clare. "Consumer".

I think I need new contacts.

[Lynette] Listen, Clare, we can't spend all day on this.

Let's move on to the Rinaldi teddy bear demonstration.

Ryan...

Well, I guess you're a little surprised to see me, huh, Mrs. Fletcher.

In this business, it's here today,

gone tomorrow.

Chambers is gone, and I am here.

Well, frankly, Mr. Monroe,

everything about this business surprises me.

Clare Henley suddenly a star, Lynette a producer...

And me, an assistant director.

Well, you gotta understand something about television.

You see, the name of this game is hustle.

Any boob can do these jobs.

You just gotta make sure you're the any boob

that gets himself hired.

Tell me, how are you at fixing television sets?

What?

[Lynette over PA] Okay, Clare. Let's try it.

Excuse me.

[Lynette over PA] Standby, everyone.

Quiet on the set.

Action!

Even though this may look like a harmless toy,

it is actually a dangerous threat to your child.

Inside there's a very sharp wire

that could poke a child's eye out.

And because of shoddy craftsmanship

by the Rinaldi Toy Company,

eight out of ten two-year-olds we tested

easily pulled the arm off.

[Lynette over PA] Cut!

Oh, Mr. Tanaka. You... you startled me.

Very sorry, Mrs. Fletcher.

You know, it's an honor for me,

you being big-time writer and all.

I've been admiring your trash for a long time.

No, no, no. Excuse me, I misspoke.

Not your books, your trash.

I got this collection of celebrity trash.

Maybe you wanna see it.

You come to my office. I show it to you.

Well, yes. Yes, I'd... I'd like to talk to you.

Hmm. Good, good.

My office this way. Thank you.

I got a whole bunch of stuff in here.

Here, please.

You sit down. Oh, yes, thank you.

I got something from every celebrity

whoever visit this station.

Oh, yes, it's fascinating, but, uh...

A bronze apple core belong to David Eisenhower.

Look like he got a chip on his tooth or something like that.

Oh, yes. Uh, Mr. Tanaka... See this? See this?

Salami wrapper of Frank Sinatra's.

And this banana peel belonged to Jerry Lewis.

Very funny man.

And just last month,

this milk carton of Pat Boone's.

Mr. Tanaka...

Oh, call me Bert.

Bert. This is all very interesting...

I know. I know.

I bet you want to hear

about the night Mr. Chambers got killed.

Well, uh, tuna fish. You want half?

Oh, no, thank you.

The other night,

I come to the executive hallway

at my regular time, 10:30, to do my rounds.

I was very happy to find

Mr. Honig and Mr. Chambers arguing.

Happy?

Not because they were arguing, you know, but because,

for the past few nights, Mr. Honig had been working late

and didn't wanna be disturbed by having his office cleaned.

So Steve was working late. Now, that is good news.

But...

the night of the killing,

was there something strange or something like that?

Nothing.

I just go about my regular job,

like I've been doing for the last 38 years.

I got a system.

You have to to last in this business, you know.

I dust, I dump the ash tray, I vacuum.

And then I look through the trash.

If there's nothing famous, I dump it...

Ah! Oh!

Oh, my gosh! I just had this cleaned.

I hope they don't stain or anything.

Now I gotta get changed.

Bert, could you let me into Mr. Honig's office? Now.

Sure.

What are you looking for, Mrs. Fletcher, huh?

Of course.

Bert, I can't thank you enough.

Oh, sure. That's okay. Anytime.

Lieutenant. No, Mrs. Fletcher.

Whatever it is, no.

But I am certain that Steve Honig

couldn't possibly have killed Mr. Chambers.

Oh, really?

How did you arrive at that brilliant conclusion?

Because whoever killed Kenneth Chambers

was actually trying to kill Steve Honig.

Steve Honig?

Who'd want to kill Steve Honig?

He's nobody.

There, how do I look?

Lieutenant, could you stop grooming yourself

long enough to listen to me?

Mrs. Fletcher, I have a newscast in a few minutes.

I have to look my best.

Well, pardon me, but you're going

to look like a complete fool

if you go out in front of those cameras

and take credit for the arrest of Steve Honig.

Not to mention the lawsuit that you may be facing.

Well, there's your chair.

[Jessica] Just as I thought.

The bullet holes, no coffee stain.

That proves it.

Proves what?

Even though this may look like a harmless toy,

it is actually a dangerous threat to your child.

Because inside, there's a very sharp wire

that could poke a child's eye out.

And because of shoddy craftsmanship

of the Rinaldi Toy Company,

eight out of ten two-year-olds we tested

easily pulled the arm off.

It's fabulous.

We've got a real hit here.

And there we have the wire.

Clare, you were great.

Bert, did you get Steve Honig's office cleared out yet?

I wanna move in tomorrow.

Oh, yes, soon.

From the looks of that tape,

you gonna be in that office a long time.

Tape looks A-okay to Bert, you bet.

Oh, Mr. Warren, I'm glad you're here, too.

Because if Miss Bryant want a new chair,

you gotta sign the form to order it.

I got it here someplace.

Why do we need a new chair in Steve's office?

Oh, bad coffee stain on Mr. Honig's chair.

Bad, bad, bad.

Can't do anything to get rid of it, you know.

Oh, here it is.

I figure, why get one chair when we need two.

One for Mr. Chambers office,

the other for Mr. Honig's office.

I like to be efficient, you know.

[Rob] Mmm-hmm.

[Bert] Thank you Mr. Warren.

All right.

I leave you all alone now.

No more interruption from Bert. No, sir.

I imagine you're very surprised, Rob.

But I suppose not half as surprised

as the night you shot Kenneth Chambers.

What are you talking about?

I wasn't even here the night Kenneth was shot.

I was home in bed, asleep.

No, you weren't.

You were here in this office after 10:30,

after Bert Tanaka saw Steve and Mr. Chambers arguing,

and after Steve left.

Oh, you've got the wrong idea, Jessica.

No. You left your calling card.

Your cigar ash.

The morning the body was discovered,

Lieutenant Flannigan dumped a large cigar ash

from the ashtray.

A cigar ash that could only have been left by the killer.

And only you, Rob, smoked a cigar.

It was from a previous day.

It couldn't have been.

Bert Tanaka cleaned the office and the ashtray at 10:30.

His usual routine.

You came back after that.

But you didn't know that Steve had left,

or that Mr. Chambers will be sitting in Steve's chair

watching a video tape.

Because his own television was broken.

You thought it was Steve you shot

through the back of the chair.

Then when you discovered you killed the wrong man,

you decided that framing Steve for the murder

would serve your purpose just as well.

So you switched chairs from office to office.

What you had overlooked was the coffee stain.

Ryan Monroe had spilt coffee on Kenneth Chambers's chair

earlier in the day.

That made it obvious the chairs had been switched.

Later, you planted the gun in Steve's car

to make him look like the guilty party.

Steve is my friend.

I would never do anything to hurt him.

Is that why you deliberately lied to Jayne,

saying Steve had not been working late?

When in truth, he had been working late?

Bert Tanaka will confirm that.

Well, this makes no sense at all, Jessica.

In hindsight, it all makes sense.

Your comment about having to pay

to be alone with the woman you love.

All those times you asked Jayne to run away with you.

You were serious, weren't you, Robert?

Why couldn't you just leave things the way they were?

Oh, Jessica, Jessica.

You really should not have interfered.

Is that your solution?

To kill me?

Well, it shouldn't be too hard to find another author

for our book review show.

You need help, Robert.

Help from Jayne.

[Jayne] Robert.

I didn't understand...

but I do now.

Violence...

didn't work before.

It won't work this time.

You... you shouldn't be here. Why?

Would you kill me, too?

When I realized that Rob had killed Mr. Chambers,

I convinced Lieutenant Flannigan

to let me use the coffee-stained chair

as bait to set a trap and gain a confession.

Actually, I had no proof whatsoever.

You know, it was Bert Tanaka who deserves the real credit

for setting the trap so nicely.

Well, I can't thank you enough, Jess, ah,

for getting me off the hook,

and such a brilliant interview.

And just... Well, everything.

Nonsense. Jayne deserves just as much credit.

She never gave up.

Oh... Speaking of taking credit.

Now, you take those two switched chairs...

It takes a highly-trained eye to spot something like that.

And in all modesty,

I've got to tell you that it was...

That it was I,

Lou Flannigan, police expert,

who sensed the incongruity of those

eminently important pieces of evidence.

I said to myself,

"Mere furniture? I think not."