Original subtitles

Dr. Phil! Dr. Phil! Dr. Phil!

Seattle, Washington,

make some motherfucking noise if you're excited to be alive tonight.

Who's excited to be in the greatest goddamn city in the world?

I can't hear you. You guys fired up for a great night or what? Come on now.

Your guest tonight on the Dr. Phil Live Show

is a Seattle Seahawks Super Bowl champ.

Yeah.

He's not only the funniest uncle you've ever had,

but he's a future NFL Hall of Famer, no doubt.

I think we can all agree.

He's given us legendary interviews, legendary touchdowns.

He is a Seattle legend and a Super Bowl champ

and my wife's hall pass.

Ladies and gentlemen, please make it loud

for the one and only Beast Mode, Marshawn Lynch!

Come on! Come on!

C�

R�

No, CTE, motherf--

But that was a good one.

- Oh. shit. - No, but no, no no.

Dr. Phillybow. Dr. Phillybow.

I'm here and I'm fucked up. I need your help.

- You gotta help me, Dr. Phillybow. - Well, that's why we're here, Marshawn.

- Thank you, thank you, thank you. - Yup. There's a lot going on.

Tonight's show is all about confusion, and you might be the epitome of that.

Yeah, I'm confused as fuck right now.

I'm trying to figure out how I get up here with Dr. Phillybow in the first place.

Well, you know, I hit you up on Facebook. I didn't think you'd respond.

I'm not even sure if it was you or a bot, but either way�

- You know. - No, I'm deep into Facebook.

Yeah.

I go back like when you poke. I was poking, motherfuckers.

Have you seen Oppenheimer?

- Is� Who? - Not a who, it's a what.

- A who? - It's a movie.

- I don't know. - What's your favorite movie?

If you got� Let's say, tonight post-show, you spark up a J,

you sit back, you have some Gatorade Zero, or some Hennessy and� you know�

Hennessy.

- You said what my favorite-- - Your favorite movie.

Like, what do you like to put on either by yourself or with the homies?

What are you watching?

- Probably, like, How High. - How High.

That's one of my favorite movies.

- Yeah, How High. - One of the best, isn't it?

Didn't Afroman do the theme song for that?

Because I got high.

Because I got high, high.

La da da da da

Oh, look out, American Idol.

What are you doing, boy?

I thought you were supposed to be getting me right and shit.

I told you I'm going through some shit. I got problems, motherfucker.

Well, we all got problems, and I talk about that in my book,

We've Got Issues, chapter 49.

You know, everybody poops out of the same asshole, so�

It's a short chapter.

Do you remember your first touchdown?

Did you say something cool in your head like, "Fuck yeah, man!"?

You know? 'Cause I remember when I played Pee Wee football

and I got my first interception, my first pick-6.

In my head, I was like, "Fucking� Phil's the fucking man."

I was excited, you know?

You do not sound like you was ready for it.

I wasn't ready for it, but I did it.

Nah, see, I was ready for this shit.

Okay, when was your first tuddy, and how did you react?

The first game we played against Denver, I had a 40-yard�

40-yard tug, and�

Well, I don't know why this is a thing with me.

Maybe I'm hella slow, but�

when I scored, my offensive line,

I don't know why they always the first ones in the end zone,

right behind. I don't� I don't understand.

But I had some offensive linemen who met me in the end zone,

and they, you know, all slapping my head and shit.

Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow.

And I'm like, "Fuck."

As much as I've been hit hella hard,

I've never been hit hard as offensive linemen

hitting me in the fucking head after I score a touchdown.

That's what I remember about my first fucking touchdown.

Offensive linemen hitting me in the fucking head.

It's funny the stuff you remember. It's funny the stuff you don't remember.

But there's probably more�

You know, everyone always talks about athletes have to wipe the slate clean.

You have a bad game, you have a bad play, fucking, you know, shut it.

Get the fuck back in there and figure it out, right?

But that's easier said than done. I've had bad shows, and I'm fucking�

I'm driving home listening to Keith Sweat, you know.

Nobody

And I'm fucking crying to myself thinking about what I could have done better.

Do you have those moments of regret and try to go, "Fuck, this is what I sh--"

- Because that's also healthy, right? - No, it don't come as a form of regret.

It come as a form of, like, motivation, like�

Yeah.

Like, "Damn, I know I'm better than that."

- "I'm better than that." Yeah. - You know? Like, I'm better than that.

Do you have a bucket list?

'Cause you're what, 39, or are you 40 yet?

- I'm 40. - You're 40.

I'm, like, 40.

You look good.

- I'm with the 40s, yeah. - How do you feel?

- You think you could still be out there? - Be out where?

In a Domino's parking lot. The field, motherfucker.

- What do you mean, "what"? - Oh, oh.

So, yeah, I could do the Domino's parking lot.

The field is not an option, my boy.

You did it. Do you know� Do you know when it's enough? Like, do you know?

'Cause, I mean� I know, you know� Your time here in Seattle

was honestly one of the most fun times I've ever had as a Seattle Seahawks fan.

Where you at?

I mean�

It was just about the coolest time to be alive.

And I know you felt it.

One more time for my buddy Chris Deleon up there on the ones and twos, huh?

That's Lake Forest Park's finest.

Ryan, get over here for me.

Ooh, 1, 2, 3

3, 2, 1

Did you guys have a lot of fun

On January 6th?

Let's get a shot of all 3 real quick

and just make sure that joke hits as hard as it should.

Yeah.

We'll be right back. We'll keep it right here.

- Have you smoked with Snoop? - Yeah, fucking�

- Is it as cool as it sounds? - Word.

Yeah, hell yeah.

You get dumbass high. What you talking about?

That's the purpose, right?

But I'ma tell you this. If you smoke with him,

just make sure you clear your day, 'cause you ain't gonna do shit afterwards.

You ain't gonna do shit.

No Twister. Stacy, throw away my Sudoku book.

- I'm staying in tonight. - I'm tough. Fuck all of that.

Fuck all of that. You need no parts of none of that.

Why you the only one up on that screen, Dr. Phil?

The fuck? Who? Where the nigga at?

Oh, my bad, blood. Yeah, I see you, boy.

I don't, but I do.

About to say, "Damn, Dr. Phillybow, you bring me on here."

"Don't even show your boy no love."

When you first got to Seattle, first impressions?

Because people always talk about this place is so goddamn far away.

It's far from Buffalo.

Maybe the furthest place from Buffalo, right?

When you landed,

did you see something that made you go, "All right, this is chill"?

Or were you like, "Man, I gotta beat around the bush

for a couple days and figure out where the fuck I am," you know?

Nah, when I touched down, I�

Oh, shit.

My first month here, it rained for 31 days straight.

I'm talking about not like it come down, then it stopped, then it�

Like, it was continuous rain for 31 days. I was like, "What the fuck?"

And then as I get out and I'm talking to people,

like, "Oh, yeah, welcome to Seattle,

we got the highest suicide rate in the world�"

What the fuck going on? Hold on, what, what did you say?

"Yeah, oh, yeah. We got the highest suicide rate, like�"

And I� They put me in a Red Dragon Hotel or something in Bellevue.

I think you made that up, but keep going.

No, it is�

- The Red Dragon? - Red Lion.

Red Lion. Motherfucker, I ain't bullshitting, bit--

This is facts. Bruh, t--

Red Lion? You're Black Lying right now. That's not a real place.

But look, no, no, no, it did though. It did though.

And I was like, "What the fuck? Like, oh, shit."

And then, you know, I was at� go to the bars, and I'm like, "Oh, yeah."

And, you know, most people are like, "Oh, hey, welcome to Seattle."

"We're excited for you to be here. You know, can I buy you a drink?"

And I was like�

Motherfucker next to me was like,

"Hey, welcome to Seattle. You want a OxyContin?"

What the fuck?

Like, "Oh, yeah, we pop pills out here."

I can't believe Pete Carroll did that.

Shout out, Pete. We love you.

I like the way you roll, sir. What's your name?

Barry.

- Barry? - Yeah, Barry.

Barry, who's this� who's this psycho in front of us?

- This is Gavin. - Gavin.

- Who is that? - Just turned 21.

Guys, shout out for Gavin real quick. Shout out for Gavin.

How long has he been your son, Barry?

- I'd say 21 years now. - Fuck yeah. Is he drinking tonight?

Nope, not yet.

- Could I get him a shot of tequila? - I think so.

Can I get 2 shots of tequila for the birthday boy?

I need 2� Should I take a birthday drink with fucking Gavin?

You guys stay right there.

I mean, that's a fucked-up thing to say to you, but you know what I meant.

Keep it going for GM of the year, John Schneider. One time for me.

Put together a couple Super Bowl teams. What the fuck did you do?

We're� Little man's somewhere in this motherfu--

I can't spot him, but he's somewhere in here.

But� I don't� His�

Look under a chair, you'll find him.

Running around with that pot of gold.

If y'all find that pot of gold, throw me a couple of them coins, though.

But look, I don't know what it was

that him and Pete seen in the players that they was getting,

'cause it made no sense at all.

We had, like, the most�

Fuck it.

We had the most gangstas niggas on our team

that came from backgrounds that was on some straight gangsta shit.

You feel what I'm talking about?

They put together, like, the most�

If you weren't gonna say it, I was.

- So thanks for saying it. - Yeah, it's all good. I'm talking about�

Yeah, all that, you feel me?

But they went and I'm talking about�

They was getting motherfuckers, like, fresh out.

We was fresh out.

- Ready to go. - At least, at least�

I know my first year, it was probably at least�

I know it won't sound like a lot considering how many people on the team,

but when you think about being in a professional sport,

at least 4 or 5 of us had POs that we had to�

that we had to call in�

- And check in. Motherfuckers� - Wait�

Motherfuckers be in the middle of a drill at practice and shit,

in the middle of a backpedal, you feel me?

You hear that? They got this little alarm that go�

Like that.

Motherfucker backpedaling,

then all of a sudden you just see his ass run straight to the locker room.

You know he got to go check in with his PO to let him know where he at.

But we had some� We had some�

So when you talk about, like, dogs, like� we had some real motherfucking dogs.

What was crazy about our shit was,

like I was saying, how he� how they built the team.

It was like�

We had maybe a few players, like, first-rounders, but�

Our core guys was like�

If you think about it, they was like� they would have been bottom-feeders.

So everybody had a chip.

You know what I mean? Everybody� So when you come to work, it's like�

"All right."

"Yeah, motherfucker, what type of time you on?"

You know what I mean? "I'm gonna check your temperature to see

you know what I mean, if you with the shit or not."

And it wasn't more so like I was pressing you to see if you was pussy or not.

It was more so like letting you know,

like, "Hey, I understand what we're going through right now,

but when game time come, I know for a fact you gonna show up for me."

"Because that's� You know what I mean? That's who you are."

And that shit�

Preach.

And that shit�

And then that shit resonated through�

It resonated through everybody.

It's great that you guys had guys to push each other.

'Cause I try to do that. I used to have a PA on my show named Gabe.

And he had a lazy eye.

And I felt bad 'cause sometimes I'd get in his face and be like,

"Fucking check your temperature, motherfucker." Right?

But he was never looking right at me,

so I couldn't tell if he was picking up on what I was putting down.

He probably� He probably was.

Take me through that Beast Quake.

I know it's a broken record. You've talked about it on end.

But this is� You know, we're on the Flix.

- And these people love you more. - We on the Flix!

- These people love you. - Dr. Phillybow!

We're on Netflix, baby. We did it. We're on motherfucking Netflix.

- Live in Seattle. - We on the Flix, you bitch.

- Live from the� - Live from Seattle.

Take that, Grey's Anatomy.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Take me through that. Did you� Because there's no�

I mean, that run is almost impossible on paper.

I mean, was it 8 or 12 guys?

How many did you fucking stiff-arm and fucking elbow city.

- And fucking Will Smith your way through? - "Elbow city!"

No, that wasn't Will Smith.

No, Will, yeah. But how�

Because when you're getting the play call, are you like,

"Cool, I know this play. Here we go."

Are you thinking, "I'm gonna try to get 6 yards out of this"

or are you thinking "I'm gonna try to put this fucking game away"?

So how I work at this time is we're in a 4-minute offense.

So the biggest thing is, like, you just gotta protect the ball.

- Okay. - Regardless to whatever happen.

- Okay. - You know what I mean? And then�

That's what Matt Hasselbeck

and that's what Pete telling me on the sideline.

Just, "Hey, whatever you do, just make sure you take care of the ball."

I'm like, "All right, goddamn."

"You feel me? Like, shit. All right, I hear you."

Then we get ready to run out there, and, you know, motherfuckers like,

"Hey, Pete," from the sideline, like, "Hey, 2-4, take care of the ball."

Like, motherfucker, I got you.

We get in the huddle.

And�

'Cause they ain't told us the play on the sideline.

So we get in the huddle, and Matt Hasselbeck called "17 Power."

I'm like, "Oh, shit."

Because it's my favorite play.

But when I first came in, they asked me, "What's your favorite play?"

And I'm like, "Power."

But we ain't really running that shit.

So it's like, "All right, when I hear this shit, 'Power,'"

I'm like, "Ooh, okay, we got one."

And then, "Break."

And Matt Hasselbeck like, "Hey, make sure you take care of the ball."

I'm like, "Motherfucker."

Now, this is my dog, though. I fuck with Matt Hasselbeck to the�

He's a beast. He's a Seahawks legend as well.

- Hell yeah, man. - Shout out.

Matt Hasselbeck, my nigga, for sure.

You know what I'm talking about. I fuck with dawg.

But as the play go, you feel me?

My eyes, Mike, like, he like, "Hey, you�"

"Hey, you finally got one." I'm like, "Hell yeah."

Marshawn, what's power?

- What's power? - Yeah.

If you shut the fuck up and listen, you gonna figure out what the fuck�

Yeah, there's still� We're getting there, sir. Jesus.

ADHD, table for one.

Power downhill� downhill football, old-school shit.

- Old-school shit. - Get a pulling guard from the backside.

- Pulling guard from the backside. - Yeah. There you go.

The more that I talk about the play,

I find out and I hear about how fucking wrong the play was blocked.

Uh-oh.

Like, it was a fucked-up play. It was blocked wrong, and�

When you get a situation like that, there's, like�

especially with a play like this, because you can get somebody to shoot the backside

and the play go nowhere.

So I was able to get through the first� you know what I mean, first defense,

line of scrimmage.

And from there, that shit was like a blur.

Boom.

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Boom.

6. Hold my dick, you bitch. You know what I'm talking about?

I love you, son. I'm your real dad. He's just a guy.

Keep it going for Gavin, everybody.

I love you.

Stay in school.

Gavin, don't tell your mom.

You don't plan your celebration dances, do you?

You just� Is that just adrenaline?

Look, the thing is, bro, I swear to God, bro.

- I wish I could be that fucking creative. - Yeah.

To have that run and then plan to do the� hold my dick.

Like, if I� I ain't gonna hold you.

If I had that much creativity in my body,

then I would probably be over there doing what you doing.

You went and saw a good friend of mine, Adam Ray, in Ireland.

You saw him do stand-up,

and then you guys drank Hennessy till 4 a.m.

- Is that true? - Hey, man. Look, let me t--

- Is that a true story? - Hey, that's true.

Look, not only is that true, I got some work out of that deal.

His wifey do, like�

She� I don't know what she do. She do something special.

- She casts cartoons, yeah. - Okay, she cast.

And then I was telling them, like, "Yeah, I wanna do some voice-over shit."

And when I got back, maybe, like, 2 weeks after that,

I got a call from my agent, and they talking about,

"Yeah, we want you to do this reading for�" What is it?

Yep.

Coming out soon.

Give a shout-out to Adam and his wife.

- I appreciate y'all. - Yeah!

That's when you believe the saying

when they tell you, "Hennything is possible."

Because I'm just saying, though.

Can I get a swig? Can I get a swig?

Nah, man. You been talking about your herpes and shit.

- Can I� Can I�? - Waterfall my shit, dawg.

Hey, to Seattle, baby.

To motherfucking Seattle. You know what I'm talking about?

Whoa.

Yes, Lord.

Do that mean you about to kick me off?

- Tastes like Diet Dr. Pepper. - You gon--

- You grow some hair on your chest. - That's some good shit.

Guys, keep it going for Marshawn Lynch, ladies and gentlemen.

Before we let him go,

look, you've been in Seattle for so much of your life.

It's become a home, right?

There's a lot about the city people know and a lot they don't know.

And I'd love, before we let you go, Marshawn,

to test your knowledge of the city in a little Seattle Trivia.

Do you wanna play a little Seattle Trivia before we let Marshawn Lynch go?

Now, to do this, I want there to be an incentive.

There should always be some sort of prize. People love prizes.

So I want to do it for every correct answer you get,

I wanna do something special.

I wanna give the audience something special.

So please welcome from Seattle's own Pike's Fish Market,

Craig and Anders, the fishmongers, ladies and gentlemen.

Yeah!

Ladies and gentlemen, we have got�

We have got 10 salmon.

- Hold on, y'all. You about to throw 'em? - Say it again?

- You about to throw 'em out there? - Yeah, give me a second, Marshawn.

Yeah. We're gonna do it together. I'm gonna throw one.

Do you wanna� Have you ever touched a fish?

Have I? Yeah, nigga, I've been fishing.

Have you ever caught a fish at the fish market?

- No, but I'm about to throw one. - Let's go. This is gonna get exciting.

- We're gonna turn the house lights on. - Hey, Cliff, what's up, nigga?

Yeah, aww, man, I didn't even see your dirty ass.

Hey, guys, it's Seahawks legend

and Super Bowl champ Cliff Avril in the fifth row.

- Give him some love, baby. - Oh, hold on, you got Babs in here too.

Aw, yeah. Oh, there go Ba--

Hey, I wanna throw my fish to Babs.

- Huh? - I wanna throw my fish to Babs.

Who the fuck is Ba--?

Oh, we got Babineaux. Let's fucking go, guys.

Hell yeah. That was one of my old--

And if you don't believe me about what I said when I got--

That was one of my OGs when I got here.

So that nigga can tell you if I'm lying or not.

A couple of Seahawks legends in the fifth row.

Make some noise for them real quick, huh?

Yeah! Oh, nigga, I see you, Cliff, your black-ass, nigga. I see you, nigga.

I see you, boy.

Yeah, I see your ass too.

I love you both. Marshawn, so here's how we're gonna do this.

We're gonna throw a�

One more time for Chris DeLeon on the ones and twos over here.

Chris, give us some trivia music. I'm gonna throw these questions up,

and for every correct answer Marshawn Lynch gets,

we're gonna toss a fucking salmon into the crowd,

and someone's gonna go home with some dinner or some breakfast,

depending on where you were raised.

Probably Kent if it's breakfast. All right.

Steven, hit me with that first trivia question.

Hold on. I don't gotta read, do I?

- No, I'll read it for you. - Oh, okay.

Marshawn, what baseball icon

played center field for the Seattle Mariners for 13 seasons?

- Griffey. - Griffey.

He said Ken Griffey Jr. Is that right?

- I think that's right. - Anders.

Craig, throw a couple of fish into the crowd. Who wants a fucking fish?

- Oh, good catch, my boy. - Got him. Got him. Got him.

- Good motherfucking catch. - Let's go!

What famous Seattle landmark looks like a penis?

Marshawn? We got a spit take. We got a spit take!

We got a spit take.

Just one fish. Just one fish for this one.

Hold up, Anders, Craig. Marshawn, what's the answer? Maybe downtown?

The Sea� The Sea Needle.

The Sea� The Seattle Needle.

Okay. Pretty close. Can we accept it?

- The Space Needle, motherfucker. - Natalie, can we accept it?

The Sea Needle.

- The Sea Needle. - The Sea Needle.

Who wants a fish from Craig? Raise your hand.

Come on, we gotta go deep, Craig. You gotta put some oomph behind it, baby.

How about this guy right back here, huh?

With the brown shirt, and the black hat, and the�

And the fucking�

Chipotle beard. There we go.

Come on, sir.

Get it, baby.

- Oh! - Oh, shit!

That motherfucker got hands.

John Schneider, 10-day contract, baby.

Hey, big dog.

- That's Jake Bobo's dad. - You catch the ball like Doug Baldwin.

All body, my boy.

Do you guys mind if I ask for help to throw these fish into the crowd?

We gotta get a sub in this motherfucker. I gotta go to the bullpen.

Do you guys mind if I get a little help

here in The Neptune Theatre in Seattle, Washington?

Is that okay?

Yes, sir!

Yes, sir!

Sam Darnold, ladies and gentlemen, your quarterback

for the Super Bowl champion Seattle Seahawks

Hey, man, y'all just got the realest nigga

to come outside and throw the motherfucking fish.

We got Ginger Cuz in this motherfucker, you feel me?

- Sam! Sam! Sam! Sam! Sam! Sam! - Yeah!

Sam! Sam!

- Ginger Cuz! Ginger Cuz! Ginger Cuz! - Oh, shit. Let me see that.

Toss me that shirt, sir.

Ginger Cuz! Ginger Cuz! Ginger Cuz! Ginger Cuz!

Ginger Cuz.

Unreal, dude. Unreal.

Sam, thanks for coming out. Long-time caller, first-time listener.

The� There you go. Oh, thanks, Marshawn. Appreciate you.

Thanks for being here.

Yeah, thanks for having me, man. This is sweet.

You see, it's Gavin's birthday? He took a shot of�

He had his first drink tonight.

Gavin, congrats on the first shot, man. That's awesome.

Yeah, he's feeling it now. That's about 5 deep right there.

- 5 or 6 deep. - Yeah, that shot was a gateway to�

Oh, shit, I don't know, fucking crack.

Sam, we appreciate you being here and what you've done for the city.

A fucking Super Bowl ring in your first year? God fucking damn it.

Sam, if you don't mind, I love you for coming out and making time.

You just got married to your wife, Katie.

- Keep it going for Katie Darnold. - Yeah! Give it up.

What a year. What a year. Couple of rings.

But this is a special time to be in Seattle.

We got some Seattle trivia with Beast Mode and Andres and Craig.

Would you help us throw some fish into the crowd?

- Absolutely. - Chris, hit me with some music, yeah?

How many days a year does it rain in Seattle?

Turn around, face the audience so they can see that ginger face of yours.

I'm gonna go 300.

And 65.

365.

Fucking Price Is Right, $1 over here.

365. Actual retail price?

Oh, shit. We'll get�

- Half. half of that. - Half of that.

- All right. We're gonna accept it. - You was close.

Who wants a fish? Sam, you wanna throw a fish?

Here we go. Who wants a fish

from Super Bowl-winning quarterback, Sam Darnold?

There it is.

Got it, baby!

What a catch! 10-day contract.

All right. Next question, Steven.

The best Marshawn catchphrase,

is it "I'm here so I don't get fined," "I'm all about that action, boss,"

or "Yippie skippy, Daddy got another tuddy"?

Yippie skippy!

Yippie skippy.

That is correct.

- Yippie skippy, Daddy got-- - Yippie skippy.

I'm yo daddy, bitch.

Craig, throw that motherfucker into the crowd.

We got a Shawn Kemp jersey in the back. That looks like a pretty good candidate.

Can you get it that far?

We got a 30-pound salmon.

- This bitch is $1,000. Hold on. Wait. - Let me throw it. Let me throw it.

Let Marshawn throw it. Craig, sorry. Marshawn wants to throw it.

Here we go. Ladies� A little bit of support, ladies and gentlemen.

Come on. This is a fuck--

Oh, sh--

He got it. There you go. That's breakfast, lunch, and dinner for 2026.

Keep it going for Shawn Kemp. He's looking good.

Hey, we got some signed footballs from Sam Darnold.

Anybody want a signed football?

Throw them into the crowd, Sammy.

Steven, we got any more trivia questions?

Name the most famous musician from Seattle. Wait, wait, wait.

Name the most famous musician from Seattle.

Marshawn Lynch.

He said Marshawn Lynch. That is incorrect.

Rip it, Ginger Cuz.

Right in the yippie skippy.

Yo, did you guys have a good time tonight?

One more time for Craig and Anders and Chris DeLeon.

One more time

for Seattle Seahawks quarterback Sam Darnold.

And one more time for the Beast Mode, Marshawn Lynch.

You guys have a good time tonight or what?

Make some fucking noise for yourselves. You're gonna be on Netflix, baby.

Robin, don't go to bed. I got a Steve Raible butt plug in the car.

Good night, everybody!

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