Original subtitles

You would not believe the similarities between Native American, African, and

European mythologies of people's souls.

You've narrowed it down to souls now? Professor, I'm too sexy for my jeans. I

want to teach a course on death, dying, and the afterlife.

I'm trolling for the easy thesis sign-off.

All right, class, that'll be it for today.

I'll see you back here tomorrow.

Hello, darling.

Sean, how are you?

Professor Jordan. Sean was just telling me his research into death mythology.

Well, I did my own thesis on zombie culture out there in the Caribbean.

Zombies? You know, it's really just a question of what happens to the soul

after the body dies. Does it go somewhere? Does it perhaps hang around?

Does it maybe even find some other body to possess?

In Africa, they have whole cultures based up around that. It's all

afterlives.

But zombies?

Well, in the Caribbean, it was more often than not cases of temporary

possession by a shaman.

You know, darling, you got exactly the type of body they'd like to possess.

Let's say you and I go up and get a beverage.

I promised Mitch I'd be home after him and Camille get done grading midterms

for Professor Napoleon.

Your boyfriend is with Camille Landon.

And I'm with Sean.

It's the life of a TA.

Right. And they're over there in Napoleon's office?

Napoleon had a meeting. I think they went back to Camille's.

Darling, you know where to find me when you come to your senses about Mitch.

Yeah, I know where to find you, darling.

Stock and Camille.

She's the idiot that went out with him in the first place.

I'm a visiting professor from Austin.

Young, cute, and a total flirt. Anyone with a sense would stay clear of his

past.

Zombies?

Seriously?

Great guy we work for, huh?

It's Dirk.

I'm not answering it.

Did you actually tell the famous Professor Jordan that you were done?

I did, and his ego couldn't take it.

But I swear that guy thinks he's immortal, or God, or something.

Yeah.

It's Alex.

Yeah, I'm not answering it. Okay, we're still grading tests.

Aunt Mitch, she's going to find out.

I know.

She's just so in love with me.

I have to figure out a way to let her down easily.

Still no answer?

Keep getting voicemail.

Is everything all right?

Not really, but we're working on things.

Well, I'm a good listener if you ever need one.

Thanks, Sean. I know.

I just don't think I'm quite ready to mix my professional and personal lives.

So, if we weren't TAs together, I'd have a chance?

No, look.

No, don't answer that. I can't deal with rejection.

So, I guess it's back to work on death, dying, and afterlife in ancient

cultures.

You have to go.

You know, I'd stay if I could.

It could if you just broke up with her.

It would devastate her, Camille.

She's too fragile.

I have to do it slowly. Let Alex get used to the idea of us being apart

before I end it, you know?

Maybe I should call Dirk back.

Professor Jordan is an asshole, and you know it.

Yeah, he's a total womanizer that can't keep his own dick in his pants to save

his life.

Pathetic. You know, you can be a real jerk sometimes, Mitch.

I mean, how dare you come over here, cheat on your girlfriend, and call

someone else a womanizer?

I thought it was time to go. Why don't you just get out?

Get out!

Hey there, darling.

Why don't you get in?

Hey, I'm so sorry I'm so late, but I've been trying to call you to let you know

that I was working on a deadline.

Oh, yeah.

I have no phone. I must have left it somewhere.

Mm-hmm.

What's with the good old boy accent?

You sound like Professor Jordan.

Oh, well, it goes along with the good old boy appreciation for a beautiful

woman.

Mm-hmm.

What are you doing? You hate feet.

No, I don't.

What, you want me to stop?

Not a chance.

It feels like heaven.

There's no chance I'm going to get there.

The way I'm thinking about you right now, I'll just have to take your word

for it, baby.

What are you doing?

What does it look like I'm doing?

I'm seducing you, darling.

Thank you.

Where are you going, darling?

There's a whole lot more where that came from.

You're kidding, right? I have seminars, and don't you have a class to teach for

Napoleon? Nope, I'm not going.

I don't know what's gotten into you, but I'm not just going to blow off work like

that. I have to go.

Please let me scrub your back in the shower or something, baby.

I said no.

Now why don't you go back to sleep?

You must need it after last night.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, come home early, baby.

be a whole lot more where that came from.

I never read Professor Jordan's thesis on afterlife transition.

He's got some fascinating theories about possession.

Like, if I didn't know any better, I would say something's possessing you.

Are you okay?

Yeah, sorry. I guess I'm just really tired.

Oh.

Did Mitch ever come home?

He was there when I got there.

He said he lost his phone.

So, why didn't you get any sleep?

Oh.

Sorry. No, it's okay.

It's just, I can't shake the feeling that I was with someone else last night.

What do you mean?

I mean, Mitch, it was like he was a completely different person.

He acted like I've never seen him act before.

He sounded like Professor Jordan in all his southern bad boy ways.

It was kind of disturbing.

He still acted like that this morning?

He actually creeped me out.

He was aggressive, and he was into me.

And... That's not normal?

No.

Then he's an idiot.

Thanks, but I'm being serious.

So am I.

And I'm not taking the whole thing with Mitch lightly.

Here, take this.

What is this?

I got it from an old shaman when I was a kid.

He said the werewolf would be protected against spirits.

It kind of inspired my career path.

And what do I need this for?

Reading Professor Jordan's thesis, it reminded me of all the spirits out there

and how they wander until they find a vulnerable host.

That amulet, it'll keep you from being vulnerable.

You seriously think there's such a thing as possession?

Read the text.

I mean...

Every ancient culture we study has possessions and exorcism. I mean, you

say Mitch is acting weird. I say anything's possible.

Ask our boss.

Where is our boss, anyway?

Oh, he's not coming in today.

He doesn't have any classes.

Good. I don't want to talk to him or see him or listen to him wax poetic about

the afterlife of the souls.

This is pretty. Thank you.

That looks good on you.

You're a good friend, John.

Damn, baby.

You got the hands of a linebacker and the face of an angel.

You're very sweet.

No, actually, I'm not.

Not at all.

The way you look, the way you're making me feel, ain't a damn thing sweet about

me.

I shouldn't. Come on, baby, you shouldn't stop.

You taste amazing.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, God.

I don't mean to be still sleeping when you're not here.

You... You slept here.

Why?

I think Mitch killed Dirk Jordan.

I don't know. It seems more impossible that Professor Jordan is dead or that

Mitch may have been the one to hit him.

So... Is he in jail?

The police took him downtown, but he swears he didn't do it. He's out on bail

while they do their investigation.

You know the thing that freaks me out the most besides finding him with

another woman and him getting arrested for a hit-and-run on my boss?

It's the look in Mitch's eyes when I walked in on him.

It wasn't fear or guilt.

It wasn't anything that people usually associate with getting caught cheating.

It was almost like he was daring me to react.

And he called me darling, like Professor Jordan always did.

You know, the more I hear, the more I think it's possible that Jordan may be

right about temporary possession.

And you're back to zombies again?

Well, do you have a better explanation?

I'll just take the couch.

I have a king pen. There's plenty of room.

No, I'm already totally imposing on you by staying here.

Well, good thing we're friends.

Yeah, we are.

Which, now that I think about it, is a lot more than what I had with Mitch.

Oh, so that relationship was all about sex?

Something like that.

Lucky guy.

Why?

Does being friends with me suck so bad?

No, not at all. It's just... I've been

head over heels for you ever since you walked in Jordan's office.

And now we're talking about how hot and heavy you were with your ex.

I guess I'm a glutton for punishment.

Why didn't you say anything?

I just did.

It's better than a dream.

What dream?

The one where I'm holding you in my arms and I can feel your heartbeat on my

skin.

This is a lot better.

Hi, Alex.

Do you have a minute?

Hey, Camille.

Heard about Mitch?

Yeah, it happened outside my house.

No, when you two were grading tests.

We weren't grading tests, Alex.

Why are you telling me this?

Because I want Mitch to choose me.

Well, he didn't choose either of us.

I walked in on him with another girl last night.

Wait a minute.

You didn't tell the police Mitch killed Dirk, did you?

No. I just said I heard a car drive off, and when I went outside, Dirk was laying

in the middle of the street.

I really can't wrap my head around the fact that Dirk Jordan is actually gone.

I'm not sure he really is.

What was Professor Jordan like when you two dated?

You know.

Actually, I don't.

He was my boss, not my boyfriend.

Why don't I show you?

I like how you decorated the place.

Thanks. My idea of flea market chic.

You know, dirt can make you feel like you're the only woman in the room.

But when that's not you, it doesn't feel so good.

That's what I like about Mitch.

I mean, at least he's consistent.

You actually still like him?

Everyone makes mistakes.

Not everyone's mistakes involve infidelity and manslaughter.

Where I come from, there's a he-needed-kill-in-law.

You'll see.

Come on over here.

I want to take that off.

Oh, wait. Slow.

Slow it down, baby.

Oh, darling, you want to do that?

I like that.

Darling, that is fucking wonderful.

Oh, that feels good for me.

Oh, fuck.

A little bit more. A little bit more.

Take

my

seat back now. You want to go get me a beer?

See? Charming jerk.

The worst kind.

There are women all over Texas thanking Mitch for being such a bad driver right

now.

No, they're not.

Not yet.

Camille, I think I need your help.

Hey, Camille.

Sean, Camille's going to help us with Mitch and Dirk.

Okay. What are you two doing?

Well, Alex thinks that Dirk is possessing Mitch.

Actually, it was Sean's idea, but now I believe him.

You do?

I saw a tape of Dirk, and there were disturbing similarities.

Similarities?

In bed.

I don't want to know.

Camille saw Mitch back his car into Professor Jordan. You did?

Can you tell me exactly what happened?

What are you thinking, Sean?

Professor Jordan had a very detailed description in his zombie thesis of the

passage of a soul.

This is too creepy.

What can you tell me about after Mitch's car hit Jordan?

Mitch got out of the car and walked around the back to see what he had hit,

and there was this strange flash of light that I thought must have come from

the car, but when Mitch stood up, he was sort of shimmery, and then he just got

back in the car and drove away.

Okay.

Well, George describes souls as having their own light, which must have been

the flash of his soul going into Mitch.

Okay, you two are seriously freaking me out. I mean, you honestly believe that

Dirk's soul is riding around in Mitch's body?

And now we need to figure out a way to get the professor out of Mitch's body.

No, I don't want Dirk back.

No, I mean Mitch.

I want my house back.

Mitch and Camille?

Long story, but yes.

The ancient shamans have lots of rituals for exorcisms.

The trick is just finding the right combination to work in the situation.

It's you.

You don't want me here?

Yeah, you can come on in. It's fine.

Hey, fetch me a beer first from the refrigerator there, will you, darling?

Thank you.

That's it.

Now tell me, why did the two women get all moody at the drop of a hat, huh?

I don't know. We're just different, I guess.

I'd say you're more than different.

You're like a foreign species.

Like aliens.

Take these titties right here, for example.

I know what it feels like to be touching them and have them in my hands.

But I have no idea what it feels like to be wearing them.

You want to wear my bra with socks on it? No, no, no. It's not the same, damn

it. I'm talking about really feeling it. Like getting inside of the alien's body.

Looking at the world through their eyes.

Too bad we can't switch bodies.

I always wonder what sex feels like for a guy.

Yeah.

Too bad.

Who are you?

I'm the woman who's about to fuck you.

Stupid.

Right.

You're fucking crazy.

You like? Yeah.

This is awesome.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're not kidding.

This could be fun.

There was a hot girl here the other night.

Who was she?

What are you talking about?

Here.

Oh, that.

That's Alex.

Oh, my fucking God. Alex, what have I done?

Don't suddenly start feeling guilty. You've been banging my girlfriend for

weeks. Your girlfriend?

Camille Landon, you dumbass. Saw you two together.

Oh, God. Oh!

Maybe Camille should probably be a real different to bang as a woman.

I think Camille and I are gonna go get Mitch now.

I don't like it.

I think I should go.

There's no way he'd come with you. It has to be us.

I'm pretty sure that we can convince him to come back here.

Convince him how?

However we have to.

Oh, well, I still have to set up a few things, but I'll be done by the time you

get back.

I found this for Camille.

Tell her to wear it when she's near him.

It'll prevent her from becoming his next host.

Ready?

Let's go wrangle at the cowboy.

You are not Camille.

Neither are you.

Where is she?

She's out.

Can I tell her you stopped by?

Nah, I think I'll wait.

You her new lie?

Uh, no.

I'm, uh, I'm just, uh, a friend.

Well, friend, why don't you come sit down next to me and keep in company

while we wait?

I really shouldn't. No, you shouldn't.

You're a good kisser. Not sloppy like the other one.

Grow my apple. Make it harder.

Suck up.

Harder.

What?

Nice to see you again.

Hello, Professor Jordan.

Don't know what you're talking about, darling.

What's your plan?

Must be how long it takes me to get your clothes off.

Oh, so I think Mitch and I are going to go grab some coffee.

Yeah, why don't you go do that, Camille?

Make sure you come back after you take him home.

I got a plan I think we'd all enjoy.

So, what do you have in mind?

You know what I want.

And what makes you think you're going to get it?

Because I always get what I want.

Well, things come too easily for you. I think it's time that you work for it.

And you're going to be the one to make me work for it.

Didn't seem so hard last time.

I thought you were somebody else last time.

About him.

He's a bozo.

And he's not very good in bed.

And do you know this because?

I've had him.

I've been him.

He was much better when I was him.

And you know, Dirk, I kind of get Camille now.

Yeah, that one. She's a whole other piece of work.

And that's what she says about you.

Yeah, well, she lost out.

And I'm tired of talking about other people.

I want to talk about you.

Naked.

In bed.

Well, come on then.

That's what I'm talking about.

Time for you to go, Professor.

No, I don't think so.

It's time.

You're dead.

No.

We're closed here, and there's no one else.

No, I can wait.

You have approximately five minutes to find a new body, and your five minutes

are just about up.

Come on, Alex. Let me in, darling.

Nope. Sorry, darling.

Alex!

You were incredible.

You heard that?

You didn't even need my help.

Thank you.

So, yeah, how'd it feel to have a big bad boy Texan inhabiting your body?

Like he had no business being there.

But you timed the amulet just right when he was coming out of my body trying to

get into yours.

Yeah, thank you for this. No, I want you to keep it.

But this is special to you.

You're special to me.

I guess things go back to normal now?

Normal is entirely relative.

Thanks

for

packing up Mitch's stuff.

Thanks for picking it up.

I'm sure he'll make it over soon enough. He's just dealing with all the things

that he screwed up.

He's lucky to have you.

You and Sean gonna make it work, then?

Yeah, I think so.

He's clearly in love with you.

I just hope that Mitch looks at me someday the way Sean looks at you.

Me too. You don't deserve anything less.

Good luck to you both. Thank you.

You too.

Yeah.

Oh, any chance you could get me one of those amulets?

You got it.

interest you in something darling?

As long as you promise to never use that voice again.

Deal.