Original subtitles

I love these kinds of projects.

They give me something to do to keep my mind occupied.

When I lost my ferro rod, I wanted to go home. I need to get my head back in the

game if I'm going to do this.

There's a lot of bear activity right here. And, you know, predators aren't

something to trifle with. I caught my first fish in my net.

Dinner tonight, man.

Who are you when everything's been stripped away?

It's scary out here in these woods.

I have not had a serious meal in a week. I can't get a player and I can't stay

here. It's always in the back of your mind. Well, I can tap out.

Putting up with a filming booth.

Running into a predator. It's not an if, it's a when.

Get the hell out of here. I see you. Get out of here.

I'm living a hand-to-mouth existence.

Yes!

$500,000 is a lot of money. It's just going to keep getting harder.

It's not the world that needs to change. It's me that needs to change.

And exploring the knoll behind and up above my camp.

So check it out. Just right down from the kitchen area, about

50 feet away.

And there is this root that's turned right here and covered with soft moth.

And...

There is a hole in there.

Man, this is the perfect toilet.

And I'm just going to kind of pan around so you can see where I've been hiking.

So I'm just going to explore around.

If I see anything interesting, I'll show you. I anticipate finding stuff.

I'm hoping to find a fair number of plastic bottles.

that I can use to store the food that I'm hoping I can preserve. Catch some

fish.

As I'm standing here, I see something.

Look at that.

That's a gigantic plastic container.

Man, this is just awesome.

I mean...

It's context, right? I would otherwise be disappointed to find this kind of

trash on a beautiful beach like this. But because I'm surviving alone on North

Vancouver Island, oh man, this is a score.

I am really excited about this.

So I'm thinking of making a boat out of the black tub. If

the weather will allow me.

You know, tying some outriggers to it to help stabilize it.

I can go places with the boat that would take me much longer time

by foot.

I could put the gill net out in deeper water and perhaps catch salmon.

With a little more effort, I can access better fishing.

And I have no doubt in my mind.

that I could stay out here for a very long time.

All right, so tying the outrigger to the tub.

Got it tied underneath so the black container won't slip all the way

through. Now it's just a matter of going out on the water.

Oh, man.

That could be epic.

Once you succeed at this, I don't want to fail at this.

Because if I end up in the drain and swimming, if I get

hypothermic, get started a fire, can't get warmed up in my bag and I have to

call in for help, then this could be the end of my journey.

Here we go.

This is just fabulous.

Golden.

Absolutely solid, stellar, golden.

Thank you, Jesus.

Thank you, Jesus.

So, story of my life out here on this accursed island.

I'm waiting for the tide to go down.

It's dark, but I still got to wait probably at least another hour before I

can start checking my sets.

Seems to be going down later and later every day.

Boredom.

Absolute, sheer boredom.

I just kind of stand and dwell on thoughts.

Funny how those little things in life can be so stressful.

I have a mouse in my house.

That stupid mouse, like, follows me when I come down here.

I'll turn around, and there's the freaking mouse, like, darting in and out

of rocks.

Oh, I would be so mad if he got into my sleeping bag. They are such destructive

little things.

So... That's what I'm concerned about.

Looks like I got one here.

I got a death grip on him.

Still got a little life in him.

I don't want him getting away.

Mother.

Sorry about that.

I just got excited. I didn't want him getting away.

What the hell?

Yeah.

It's all wet.

Damn it.

Never had so many problems lighting a fire in a damn place in my entire

life.

Oh, I'm so ready for bed.

You mother piece of... You, you sucker.

You piece of...

I caught one fish in the new gillnet location.

Very happy to have had a good, good, solid meal.

But in an ideal world, it would be like in real deep water where I have to set

it and retrieve it from a boat.

In that valley, there must be a good-sized stream.

And in that good-sized stream, there must be a good-sized salmon run.

Some food is coming in.

But the people that lived here, they depended on staple food supply,

and that was the salmon.

And I'm still on time to catch the last migration, so that's where my mind goes.

That's where my thoughts are right now.

If I hit the salmon run full on, it would make a huge, huge difference to my

situation.

So I guess the sooner I get to it, the better.

This week, I've gone on long walks. I've picked up anything that was useful to

me, any bit of cordage, any bit of lumber.

So I think today I'm going to start with that.

I think there is enough lumber to make the gunnels and the main stringer to our

boat.

I'm abandoning survival and trying to go into wilderness living.

Survival per se is how you stay out of trouble until you go back to

civilization. But what I teach and what I do is wilderness living.

Trying to actually live in the place, I have to...

maximize what the land and the sea has.

And the number one way to maximize it is having a boat.

That's good.

Now I can start looking into the cross pieces it gets and preparing the holes

for the rips.

I'm pressed for time. I wonder if I'm going to reach some creek and a bunch of

salmon carcasses just lay in there because a run just went past me while I

was here building a boat.

I hope not Just just put up a couple of cross

pieces to support the gunnels Now

you break you son of a gun

This was a

big setback in my plans

And I basically am back to starting out with that boat.

And I'm still days away from having this completed.

If I miss the salmon run because I'm too late, that would be very, very bad.

I wish I didn't have that time pressure thing going.

interesting night last night.

The mouse is completely destroying my gear.

Right next to my head, he was chewing on my pack all night.

Every time I turned on my headlamp, he'd scurry away.

I swear to God, if that thing freaking chews my sleeping bag up, I'm blowing

this place up. I'm going to find some way to blow the whole freaking place up.

My greatest struggle is emotional.

What's really throwing me for a loop is how mental this is.

I did not expect it to be this big a mental challenge.

The fact that I am secluded in a 100-foot area

with walls sloped down inside of me, quite frankly, it gets

quite depressing.

Now, I have a mouse in my house.

I mean, this place is just really starting to get to me.

I've been trying to formulate a thought to express it.

Without breaking down and crying.

And I'm not sure I'm going to be able to relay it without crying.

So my issue, one of the reasons why I wanted to come out here,

was to try and think on

the new aspect of my

life.

In other words, after kids.

A person can endure a lot of things for someone that they love.

Trying to endure those same things just purely for yourself

is not as easy.

I'm an electrician.

You might think it's not that hard, but it's a lot of repetitive tasks.

I know everybody has to go to work.

I know it's just the way of the world.

But for me to think that I have another 15 years

of basically wasting my life

waiting for the weekends.

Just the mundane torture of it all.

I'm going to have to make a change. It's not the world that needs to change. It's

me that needs to change.

My outlook on life.

This place, I know the rules.

It's life outside of this place that makes me want to cry.

All right.

Stand in front of the camera.

Sit down.

I'm still here and doing well, so keeping myself warm, making sure I have

enough food.

I think I've figured out black bear behavior.

It's been a learning experience.

It's a sort of game, like the bears and I forage on the beach together at the

same time.

They stay on their side of the river and don't come over here.

Plenty, plenty of fish.

I love that I'm part of the ecosystem here.

I feel at home here.

It's another good day.

I'm going to go check my gill net.

That chinook brush will be coming in really soon.

And that's a great source of food.

Watching for bears.

They like it right here.

Oh, I think we're going to coexist just fine.

Looks like we got something.

We got a salmon.

Oh, and it is alive and kicking.

Cut its backbone is the name of the thing.

Hold it really firmly.

And cut through with the spinal cord in there.

Kind of feel the heart is still beating.

Oh, it just was.

There we go.

And now for the body.

Oh, boy.

I'm feeling very lucky today.

This amazing, fresh salmon.

There's the body.

I'll put it here to fillet.

How you doing over there, bears? How's your river?

They got their own river where the salmon are sunning.

We're all eating well, so that works out.

All right, well, time to get these puppies.

I'm clean.

It's really important to me that if I take a life, that I use every single bit

of that animal. It's respectful.

And I want to be respectful of this sacred land that we're being allowed to

use. Those reflexes always get me when they move when you're cutting it.

Voila. Better than your best restaurant.

That's dinner, lunch, breakfast.

Dinner, lunch, breakfast.

Oh yeah. A whole lot of food.

So, last night, the mouse completely destroying my gear.

He was chewing on my pack all night.

I really want to give it a concerted effort to try and find a new location.

It's up to me. It's not up to anybody else. It's up to me to make a change.

That's the plan for today.

I'm getting the hell out of here.

Let this damn mouse have this freaking place.

So, I've lost some weight. I need another couple of notches on my belt.

Get this hip belt situated.

Tighten down.

All right.

Time to head out.

I'm pretty nervous about leaving a known entity, but it's either try and survive

where I'm at, and potentially tap quite early, or it's go for broke and

really try to get out here and try to find a good location and live out here.

I've done three or four little walks, and the only other place I haven't gone

is more south.

So it's opened up a little bit. I'm following this creek bed.

But it's thick back here.

I see a little bit of daylight up there through the trees.

I'm hoping that that pound pans out to a, I don't know, it's got to empty into

the ocean sometime.

Oh, this is killing my knees.

Oh, I've got old man knees.

Oh, my gosh.

God.

Oh.

Damn it.

All right. Well, I'm getting excited. I can hear the ocean.

Oh, my God.

To get out of that confining space of, to be able to see this, man, and to

expend the calories and stuff and not know where I was going to end up or what

was going to happen.

Let's get down here and see what the heck's going on.

I can just tell already that this is going to be loads better.

Loads better.

Look, there's dead wood right there.

Look at all the kindling and stuff like that right here.

And this place is freaking chanterelle heaven.

Oh, my God.

Just the emotional uplifting this is going to give me is huge.

Look at this.

There's sunlight on the rocks.

I could be sunbathing.

It's freaking awesome.

This is the best move, not just move literally. This is the best move I've

done this entire journey.

All right, well, I haven't even been here 10 minutes.

What did I find?

Rope, corded.

I'm going to split this rope down, and right back behind me is where I'm going

to make my shelter.

I thought that was a crap hole I left.

This place is so much better.

I've got to get shelter set up.

I've got stuff in my backpack that can't get wet. I cannot afford to get my

sleeping bag wet.

I just need to hurry up and set up a shelter, and then I'll go back for my

other crap that I left.

I'm just going to make a simple A-frame.

I'm really partial to the plow point. The problem with the plow point in this

country is it rains so much that the rain leaks down the pole.

and there's such strong winds that I don't want to put that much pressure on

the tarp and not have a ridge fall.

I'm so happy to be rid of that frickin' mouth.

Whoa, this trucker.

He's a crap.

I'm going to make it my life's mission to kill every frickin' mouse I possibly

can.

My new mission going forward.

Be held.

I could have lived in harmony. I wasn't hungry.

I couldn't leave him alone.

I don't know.

Him and his kind are going to steal my wrath from now on.

I really want this to be a good stone kilter, so I want these pie pots to help

support.

Ribs. Ain't two of them. They need to be long.

I've never made one like this before.

Always just an inch too short.

Damn it.

Once again, four inches too short.

Oh, you... You little mother... Pizza!

Jim!

I've had another 10 pizzas.

I can definitely feel a lot of mood swings.

I get frustrated pretty easy. I get angry pretty easy.

But I usually come back and try and solve the problem semi-rationally.

I just got to find some more toddles.

Then I can tie the front and the back down, all the grommets, and then I'm

just about done.

I feel like everything's okay now.

I mean, maybe I'll be plagued by predators, I don't know, but I still

think it's better.

It's way, way better than where I came from.

My sister used to make ugly faces in the mirror.

All right, so I'm out checking all my fishing lines.

I think some food is a priority, the number one priority.

That is a

really interesting

fish. I have no idea what it could possibly be. It is

so beautiful though.

Two lines, two fish.

Oh, yeah.

It's amazing.

This is working.

I've been catching fish every day for the last three days. After going two

weeks without catching anything.

That's so huge.

Good old-fashioned, regular fishing.

A bower, a little sinker, a hook, and some bait.

Another day where I'll have a bit of meat.

I'm really happy with what I have accomplished so far.

But I just, like, am craving human companionship even more than food.

I wish I could talk to my dad, actually.

You do good out here.

You do real good.

It's really hard being alone. I've never been alone for this long before.

You just, like, crave companionship.

Someone to talk to.

It definitely takes its toll on you.

I walked down to the water and had this amazing experience.

This bald eagle came from the other side of the bay and then circled the bay and

then flew right in front of me.

It was amazing.

I stepped on a boat. You would have loved that.

I do wonder how my kids are doing.

You know, I try to compartmentalize and just think about being here because this

is where I am.

I think if you have any issues kind of going on in your head, being alone for a

long period of time, I think that's when things crop up for people.

I really miss my stepson.

Beau died two years ago. He drowned in San Francisco.

He went swimming. And he was missing for... a long time, and I spent a month

looking for him until we figured out what happened to him.

He died on the day that I was in Arizona.

And I got the call. I was graduating with my doctorate. And we texted back

and forth a lot. That was an easy medium when he moved.

And texted him a picture of me in a big hat and gown.

Saying I did it and calling a doctor, you know, and he did it.

And I think I was probably like 30 minutes too late.

And I'm thinking, that's weird, he didn't write right back, because he

always writes right back.

And I just sometimes think, like, what if I texted an hour earlier, you know?

I don't know.

I don't know if what I've done made any difference.

I feel it every day. I feel it every day. I'm sure his dad does too.

I'm sure his grandparents do.

I feel it every day so much.

It's so hard.

I look for the beauty in things, and I look for joy in life, and I have other

kids that I need to take care of, you know?

I mean, I don't miss Bo every day.

Wow.

I have to just think of him as being there with me and cheering me on.

That's all I can do.

He'd be proud of me here. I know he would.

He'd be stoked. He'd think this was cool.

I've been in a pretty funky headspace all day.

Just getting the blood flowing a little bit.

Keeping myself occupied.

Happy with the cabin so far.

Not done yet, but it's getting there.

I'm going to start reinforcing the walls.

Putting a post at the very end.

This one I did a couple more because I noticed that this wall was leaning a

little bit.

That should definitely secure it, at least for the duration that I will be

here.

Now what I do here is just tie the posts together.

It's like there's a party going on in here all the time.

But I'm the only one here.

I was the only one invited is what it was.

I make myself a little mattress.

I'm set up to be here for a long time.

I have walls around me.

I have, you know, an entire ocean full of fish that I have been catching.

I mean, you could have the best life in the world, but if you're alone, then

what's the point, really?

What's the point of living if you're just doing it alone?

All right, well, let's see how she does.

Luxury.

What am I doing out here?

Besides building.

You know, you build and you build and you build, and when you run out of

things, then you're just sort of left here without anything to do.

I think if the world ended, or if society as we know it just, like,

crashed, and I were, like, the last survivor,

I wouldn't do it.

There would be no point.

I knew it was going to be hard being alone.

I guess I just didn't know it was going to be this hard.

There's times when every fiber of my being is just saying that I want to

go home.

It was good to see you again.

I got a big decision to make.

But it's nice that you haven't left.

Or else I'd be in big trouble.

Biggest question I have is just, what am I doing this for?

It's impossible to describe what this is like until someone comes out here and

does it.

It's just so incredibly beautiful here. It's just, it's mind-blowing.

It's like it's not something that you just get used to.

But I don't know if there's more that I can get from this place, you know.

I don't know if there's more that this place has to offer me.

I mean, don't get me wrong, like, I love living this way.

I actually want to live this way.

But there's no way I could do it alone.

There's been a lot of times I've felt like I wanted to go home.

But I wasn't ready.

I just want to leave on a high note.

still loving this?

I was hoping this would be an easier decision.

I just can't get enough to eat. Where my fishing hole was, I can see the waves,

bam, just crashing against it. Not very happy about it. I just woke up. My

sleeping bag is soaked.

It looks like it's groundwater seeped through.

This is ridiculous.

Another day of boat building. I sure hope to have her in the water in time to

get to that salmon rock.

sweat lodge is one of those things that feed you spiritually i think it'll

probably help me make a decision i have to figure out how long i want to stay

here