Original subtitles

Nicodemus Penwulf is Billie's grandfather!

And his son Damien Penwulf used to be evil, too.

Then he betrayed me for her.

- You're my mom? - I'm your mom.

You're losing control of your power.

- The rift is open. - We have to close it!

We'll find each other again. I promise.

Alex! Alex!

Russos.

This isn't over yet.

Who wants the last pancake?

- Ooh, I do. - Oh!

Uh, you didn't say you wanted it.

I didn't want it until you wanted it.

Oh, I am stuffed.

Ooh, it smells like pancakes.

Oh, no. Billie, don't freak out,

we're out of pancakes, but... but we have cereal.

Not anymore.

What am I supposed to eat?

Anything. I-I'll make you anything you want.

But I wanted pancakes.

Billie, please.

You're losing control of your powers.

Stop! You're... you're opening up a rift!

But I said I wanted pancakes!

No!

Did you have that dream again?

Every night it's the same.

I lose control of my powers and I send everyone I love into a rift.

Maybe it's 'cause three days ago,

you lost control of your powers, opened a rift,

and the woman you just found out was your mom seconds before,

jumped through it, and now no one knows where she is.

Do you think that's it?

Yes, Winter, I think that's it.

If it makes you feel any better,

I had a nightmare, too.

I was about to kiss Michael B. Jordan,

and I burped his face.

And now we're both dealing with stuff.

Michael B. wait! Come back!

♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ When you can have what you want by the simplest of means ♪

♪ Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ♪

♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ You might run into trouble if you go to extremes because ♪

♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ Yes, please ♪

♪ What it seems ♪

Yep. As I suspected, coffee is gross.

What's with all the noise? Billie's trying to sleep.

Dad said, whatever we do, do not upset her.

I was just trying to do something nice for her.

But I'm not allowed to use the stove, oven, toaster, microwave or sink.

My options are pretty limited.

Listen, I... I know, in your weird, Milo way,

you're trying to help, but the best thing we can do right now

is just keep her mind off Aunt Alex.

Delivery for Alex Russo's next of kin.

Okay... What do you mean, next of kin?

Alex isn't dead.

Well, she's dead to her landlord.

Which is why I was ordered to pack up her stuff

and deliver it here. So here.

If Billie sees Aunt Alex's stuff,

it's gonna remind her that her mom's gone.

Which seems pretty upsetting.

We can keep Billie from seeing one box.

Uh... Roman,

what about all those?

Oh, this is a nightmare.

We're never gonna be able to hide those from Billie.

Hide what from me?

Billie!

Nothing. Not hiding anything.

And definitely not in the backyard.

So you are hiding something.

- I told you. Nothing in the backyard. - Or in the kitchen.

What is wrong with you?

Huh, I guess I was wrong.

I guess you guys really aren't hiding anything...

Hmm. So you're really not hiding anything.

See, there's no reason to be upset.

Be upset?

Since when do you care about me getting upset?

Are you afraid I'm gonna lose control of my powers

- and send you into a rift? - I... wasn't.

- Whoa! Whoa, whoa... - Whoa, easy.

I knew it. You are afraid of me.

Dude, we totally pulled that off!

Dude, we totally didn't. She's upset!

But she didn't see the boxes. Take the win, man.

Hear my words loud and clear, show me if my sister is near.

That wasn't me, that was the spell.

Every time I try to do magic, I see Alex jumping through the rift.

And the look on Billie's face, she was...

And I just lose focus, and my spells just...

Well, they fart.

Well, of course you can't focus.

I mean, you're a worried mess.

It's not like you can just turn off your emotions.

I mean, if you could, I would still be allowed at Milo's soccer games.

Don't worry. You're gonna figure this out.

- Yeah. - I'm gonna go make you some coffee.

Turn off my emotions.

That's it!

Okay.

Okay, let's see. Smarty pants, crystal ball, magic mirror...

Emotional baggage! Aha!

My emotional baggage, I'll just put my emotions in this,

and then I can focus.

I have successfully unburdened myself of my emotions.

My mind is now clear enough to find Alex.

I will now engage in pure thought.

- Justin, can I talk to you? - You are talking to me.

All right.

I keep having this dream where I lose control of my powers

and I send everyone I love into a rift.

- Do you think that's a possibility? - Absolutely.

- Really? - Of course. You've done it once before,

it could certainly happen again.

Is that why the boys are acting so weird?

'Cause my powers are dangerous?

I cannot speak to the social ineptitude of my offspring,

but your powers are most assuredly... dangerous.

But I didn't mean to hurt anyone.

Nevertheless, you did.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must dedicate all of my mental energy

to rescuing Alex.

From the rift I opened.

Yes, that rift.

Roman, come on. We gotta hide these boxes in our room.

- Hey, guys! - Whoa!

Milo, you can't stop short like that.

I can't see you 'cause I'm carrying three times more than you.

You're whining about it three times more, too.

Have you guys seen Billie?

Uh, she's downstairs.

We're trying to hide these boxes of Aunt Alex's stuff,

so she doesn't see them and get upset.

What are we standing here talking for? We got boxes to move.

Ooh!

What do we have here?

"Spellz Angelz"?

No. I know what you're thinking.

"Will I look cool in this?" And the answer is no.

I haven't even tried it on yet.

Roman, it's too much jacket for you.

He's right. Just put it back.

Oh, come on, guys. You don't know anything.

Yeah, I'm starting to think this may be too much jacket for me.

It's okay, it's okay. Stay calm.

Billie will come for me.

Well, Justin says my powers are dangerous.

Roman and Milo are scared of me.

If my powers are putting the people I love in danger...

Billie, what did you do?

What if she can't control her magic?

So the prophecy is Billie opening the rift.

Open the rift, or I will destroy your family!

- Billie... - This is all my fault.

Alex!

Justin, where is my mom?

Then I shouldn't have them.

Now I can't hurt anyone ever again.

I'm just gonna do a quick test to make sure I'm really mortal.

Yep. Really mortal.

Billie!

Roman disappeared.

He found a magical jacket, and when he put it on, it zorked him away.

Wait, a magical jacket? What did it look like?

It was a super cool leather one with a patch on it that said "Spellz Angelz."

And before you ask, no, he totally couldn't pull it off.

The Spellz Angelz are the toughest crew in the wizard world.

They hang out at this sketchy roadhouse called the Speckled Unicorn.

That doesn't sound so sketchy.

The unicorn's speckled in blood.

Yuck.

Maybe the jacket took him to the Speckled Unicorn.

He won't be able to survive in a place like that. He's too weak.

He can barely carry three of Alex's boxes.

- Wait, Alex's boxes? - Or any boxes.

Ignore him, he's not making sense.

He's scared. His brother's missing.

Roman is missing?

Uh... Well, not missing. We... we know where he is.

Then there's no further action required on my part. Carry on.

That was weird.

Yeah. When did Mr. Russo start threading his eyebrows?

Come on, we gotta go get Roman.

And, uh...

I just remembered that Milo should go through the mirror first.

- Why me? - Uh, 'cause that's what's gotta happen.

Well, if it's gotta happen, it's gotta happen.

Ah, yes. This will do nicely.

Hey, did one of you dumb-dumbs break something?

Oh! Sorry, honey.

You're not the dumb-dumb I thought I was yelling at.

What happened to the coffeemaker?

We got you that for Father's Day.

Its scientific value is greater than its sentimental value.

But you said you couldn't believe

coffee that good came from a pod.

That was the old me.

I have taken all of my emotions, and I have placed them

into a piece of wizard luggage that we call "emotional baggage."

I can now think clearly, and I know how to find Alex.

Justin, that's amazing! How?

I'm going to build a device that will use our sibling connection

to locate her on a quantum level.

You're gonna do all that with a coffee machine?

I'm gonna do all that with parts of a coffee machine.

Also, I'm a wizard.

Here we are.

Speckled Unicorn.

This place doesn't look so scary.

Oh, thank goodness you're here. This place is so scary.

That's what you get for wearing Damien Penwulf's jacket.

I... I am so sorry, Mr. Reaper. Sir, we were just leaving.

Wait, Damien Penwulf. That... that's my dad's name.

Why were you wearing his jacket?

If it helps, he didn't know it was his jacket,

and 'cause it was in a box of your mom's stuff we were hiding from you.

Successfully...

until this very moment.

Billie, where are you going?

The only other person who could tell me anything about my dad

is my mom, and she's in another dimension.

I'm not leaving until I figure out what these guys know.

No-- I... I don't think you understand how dangerous it is.

They didn't throw me out that window. I jumped out!

If I bypass the particle regulator

and connect it to the milk frother,

all that remains is to change the settings

from dark roast to interdimensional quantum locator.

And then I'll be able to find Alex with the push of a button.

Connection not found.

That's odd.

My machine was built perfectly.

If a connection cannot be found, then there's only one logical conclusion.

Alex is gone forever.

It's a good thing I don't have my emotions right now as this would be a bummer.

These are my dad's friends?

Cool.

Hey, buddy, have you seen Reaper?

Whoa! Um...

I mean, if anybody's seeing anyone, it's you.

Oh! Thanks.

Hey, Reaper.

I'm looking for Damien Penwulf.

Damien Penwulf, huh?

So I'm guessing Barnabas Quincy sent you?

Uh...

Yeah, he sure did. Me and Barnabas Quincy are super tight.

Damien said if Barnabas Quincy ever sent anybody over here,

- we're supposed to-- - Give them a warning

- and send them on their way. - No.

- Vaporize them. - Well, it was worth a shot.

What is taking Billie so long?

I don't know. I can't see a thing.

Milo, move out of the way. I want to see.

No! I'm looking.

Oh, Milo, what did you do?

And finally, torque that bolt 48.6 Newton-meters and not a Newton-meter more.

48.6 Newton-meters. Check.

All right. Let's fire this baby up and go find your sister.

Find Alex?

What are you talking about?

Well, isn't that your quantum locator?

No. It's a stair stepper.

You're gonna find Alex with a stair stepper?

No, I'm gonna work on my glutes with the stair stepper.

Justin, what is going on?

I successfully completed the locator. It didn't find Alex.

Therefore, she is unfindable.

Ergo, it makes no logical sense to continue the search.

Thus, the stair stepper.

Justin, this is your sister we're talking about.

You can't give up hope.

Hope is an emotion that makes rational people do irrational things.

With my emotions safely tucked away in that baggage,

I can see things for what they are,

and the search for Alex is a lost cause.

Justin, this isn't you. You need to take your emotions back.

That is my baggage.

Only I can open it, and I choose not to.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go change into my workout clothes.

One should not stair step in chinos.

Look, I think there's been a big misunderstanding.

Maybe you could just let me go and pretend none of this happened.

Or I could vaporize you and pretend none of this happened.

I like mine better.

I could really use a distraction right now.

Perfect.

Great idea jumping through that window again.

No, that time, I was thrown.

Come on. We gotta get out of here.

Wait, wait. No, we have a... a problem.

That's what I was gonna say. We have a huge problem.

Burny Hands caught us.

I don't know if that's his name,

- but it's what I'm calling him. - Uh, why?

Oh. Now I see it.

You've got three seconds... to tell me why you're here.

Okay, fine.

The truth is, I was asking about Damien Penwulf because I'm his daughter.

You're Damien's daughter?

Yeah. That's why we had his jacket.

Then why was he wearing it?

He thought he could pull it off.

Okay, okay. We don't have to be mean about it.

If you're his daughter, prove it.

Okay. Well, how am I supposed to do that?

Easy. If you're really a Penwulf, you can conjure the Penwulf family herald.

What's a family herald?

It's an ethereal projection of... of a magical creature.

And each wizard's herald is specific to their family.

Like a Patronus from Harry Potter?

No!

Sounds like it to me.

Great. Just conjure the Penwulf family herald and let's get out of here.

Yeah, I would, but--

No, no. No but. Just conjure it.

I gave up my powers.

Wait. So... so you're telling me that we are in a roadhouse

full of angry wizards who are looking for any excuse to vaporize us,

and the only way we can get out of here alive is by using the powers

that you gave up?

Yeah, pretty much.

Okay, great. Thank you.

I can't believe you gave up your powers.

Why would you do that?

I didn't know what else to do. I mean, my powers are dangerous. I...

I did it to keep everyone safe.

Oh, well, I've never felt safer.

Show us the herald, or you're getting vaporized.

Roman, it's up to us.

We gotta blast our way out of here. You and me.

The Russo Brothers.

- You in? - Yeah, yeah.

The... The Russo Brothers.

Let's do it. One's on three.

Ready? One...

Dang it!

I don't know who you are,

but you are not Damien Penwulf's daughter,

which means you got no right to be here.

Angels!

Light 'em up.

Giada, have you seen my wand?

- I may have left it in my-- - Chinos when you were changing?

Why? Yes, Justin, I have seen your wand.

It's in this bag.

That's my emotional baggage.

No, this is your emotional baggage.

Giada, what is going on?

Honey, you need to take your emotions back.

And be burdened by sadness, anger, and worry.

I don't think so.

But you're missing out on joy, excitement, and love.

Hmm. A small price to pay. Now, my wand, if you please.

You want your wand back, you're gonna have to figure out which bag it's in.

So it's a game of wits, is it?

If I win, I get my wand. If I lose, I get my emotions.

Challenge accepted.

All I have to do is ask myself,

are you the type of person who would seat me

in front of the bag that has my emotions

or in front of the bag that has my wand?

I don't know. Which kind am I?

It's so obvious.

You directed me to sit in front of this bag,

which means you want me to open the bag in front of me.

But I know that you want me to open the bag in front of me.

So I will open up the bag in front of you.

Okay. So open the bag in front of me.

You'd like that, wouldn't you?

But you know that I know that you're cleverer than that.

Hmm, yes.

You would never put the bag that you wanted me to open in front of you.

Okay, so open the bag in front of you.

You must take me for a fool.

For only a fool would open the bag in front of me.

But I know that you know that I'm aware I am no fool.

This might have been a bad idea.

Sorry I got you guys into this.

You were just trying to find out about your dad.

Nobody blames you.

- Eh... - Nobody blames you.

I just wish I could conjure that herald.

She really is Damien's daughter.

Billie, you did it.

I know, but how?

Who cares? We cheated death again.

Guys, I'm starting to think I'm immortal.

No. No, never think that. What a horrible thing for you to think.

- Come on, let's go. - Stop!

No! You said conjure a herald, I conjured a herald, we're out of here.

Not without this.

Damien said if you ever showed up looking for him,

I should give it to you.

A teddy bear?

He said you'd know what to do with it.

Uh... Everybody knows what you do with it.

You snuggle it.

Uh, can we get our wands back?

And... and sorry, while you're returning things,

I came in with a jacket.

- Get out! - On our way, sir.

And you know that I know that you know that I know that.

Which is why I know beyond the shadow of a doubt

that that wand is in the bag in front of me.

Great. Open it.

I knew you'd say that,

which is why I'm choosing this one.

Ha!

I knew it.

Now, Giada, I'm sure you're feeling pretty disappointed,

but don't blame yourself.

You never stood a chance against cold, hard logic.

- Uh, Justin? - Yes?

You were saying?

Uh-oh.

I can't believe you tricked me!

I've never been happier! But I'm also so sad.

I feel so alive! Was I a big a jerk as I thought I was?

I'd be lost without you.

- I love you! - There's my guy.

- Do you hear beeping? - That's my quantum locator.

It found a connection to Alex!

But... but this makes no sense.

Why is it working now? Like, what changed?

You got your emotions back.

Of course. It's my emotional connection to Alex. That's what bonds us.

I gave up my emotions because I thought

that they were making me too weak to find her.

- But... - They were exactly what you needed.

Your emotions are your superpower.

Actually,

I think you're my superpower.

Nah, I'm just the best thing to ever happen to you.

Although that stair stepper didn't hurt.

Giada.

Spill-us Secret-us.

- Any luck? - No.

I mean, my powers really are gone.

Then how did you conjure that Patronus?

- You mean family herald? - I do not.

I don't know how it happened.

We'll figure it out.

Tomorrow.

Yeah, we will.

Hey, Winter, I know you've been sleeping over every night

to make sure I'm okay.

I just wanted to say thanks.

You know, you're a really good...

...friend.

I'm gonna figure out what you know.

With or without my powers.

Would someone cool it with the chainsaw?

Oh, that was me.

Where am I?

Hey, I'm warning you, I'm not alone!

I have a big dog in here!

That wasn't a big dog, that was a small dog.

It would be great for this apartment.

Alex, I'm back!

Not for long.

Piper? What's with the creepy voice?

Oh, sorry. I was doing laundry

and I inhaled a lung full of lint.

Well, that's better.

What are you doing here?

What do you mean? I live here with you.

We're roommates.

Is everything okay?

I don't think so.