Original subtitles

[video recorder clunks]

[videotape whirs]

[music on car stereo]

[tyres screech]

[mumbling]

- Back up. - Yeah, back up. Turn around.

Oh, yeah.

[chuckles]

Yeah.

[whispers] There they are.

[shouting]

[screams]

[shouting]

- [woman screams] - [cameraman] Come on, come on!

Show her tits! Yeah. Whoo!

Stop! Stop!

[screams]

[cameraman] Oh, shit! Run, run, run! Go, go, go!

Shit, that was...

- Cool, huh? - Hell, yeah.

What have we done, dude?

Yeah!

Yeah!

All right, watch your head, dude.

It's all right.

I got it, I got it. It's all right.

I'll just fuckin' find you a better camera.

[cameraman] That's not a better camera than this camera.

Man, I'm gonna draw two balls at once.

- [cameraman chuckles] - And now a big dick.

- What tape are you filming on? - Do what?

- What tape are you filming on? - What are you talking about?

Where'd you get the tape? What's on the label?

I don't know. It was in your room.

But you don't know... Lights, lights, lights. Kill them, man.

Come on, come on, come on.

Ow!

Show her tits!

See? That is exactly why I picked her. She has great fuckin' tits.

You just knew 'cause you're a boob psychic.

- [laughs] - Well, we've done this so many times.

Dude, we get $50 every time we do one of these things.

- I can get us more than 50 bucks, man. - That's not bad for this.

$50 for each time we do this.

Dude, tell him about the deal that you got.

We hooked up with like a reality porn place.

Have you actually got paid? He paid you? You got money?

Yeah, we've done it like 30 times, 25, 30 times.

I can get us more money in like one night.

- [cameraman] How? - I got a deal.

You can drop this fuckin' pawn-shop shit right now if you want.

We need to do skirts. Like this coming summer.

- Shut the fuck up, man. - Like skirts and dresses.

And run by and do, you know, like up-skirt stuff. That's what I mean.

- [cameraman] I'm more into like asses. - Shut the fuck up!

This girl right here had a great ass too. Her boobs were great.

- What the hell, dude? - I said shut the fuck up.

We can get more than that in one night.

Oh, man!

OK, go left here and head towards Ryback Road.

OK, here's the deal.

We gotta break into this house

and all we have to do is steal this one VHS tape.

Dude, let's use that fuckin' tape, dude. Fucking use the tape.

- Why don't you use that tape? - No, man, let's use the tape.

- Yeah, we got a tape right here. - Dude ain't gotta check it.

Anyway, he said the job pays, so like it could lead to more work.

Work?

He also said he saw some of your stuff online, so you have a fan.

Well, how's that work, man? We don't put our names on any of this shit.

Well, I don't know. I wouldn't worry about it.

Hey, you got crumbs in your beard.

- [inaudible] - Yeah, sure. No problem.

- What's that? - What are you talking about?

Is that your camera?

- What camera? - What the fuck?

Hey, Rock. Hey, can you hold my camera for a second?

- You got it. - Be careful. Be careful, OK?

Dude, this nigger's house is a fuckin' mansion. He must be goddamn rich.

- Hey. Hey. Who stays here? - Some old guy.

Like some old guy's here right now?

Some old guy's here and he's fucking sleeping, so you gotta stay quiet.

Wait a minute. Wait, wait. What if he wakes up?

Well, I'll fucking take care of that, I guess. Don't worry about it.

- You're gonna take care of that? - Yeah. You shut your fucking mouth.

[whispers] You're not gonna do anything about it.

Jesus.

Hey. You two go upstairs and we're gonna look around down here.

Fuckin' go up there.

- Dude, there ain't shit in here. - What?

There ain't shit in here.

Shh. Shut the fuck up, dude.

Where the fuck is this tape?

Everything's pretty much empty in here.

- Fuck, what? - What the fuck?

What the fuck, dude?

Oh, shit.

- Fuck. - He's dead, man.

- What? - That nigger is dead.

No fuckin' way.

Oh, man, he smells.

- Gary! - What the fuck? Why are they yelling?

Shut the...

- Y'all need to get the fuck in here! - Shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up.

You think we need to shut the fuck up, dude?

Look on this. Look on this.

- He's dead. - He's dead.

Don't touch the dude.

- What did you fuckin' do to him? - Hey, Gary, Gary. They took care of it.

- They took care... Fuck you. - Who took care of him?

- OK, get the fucking tape. - Y'all find it here?

- Shut the fuck up. - There ain't no tape.

- What the fuck? - There ain't no tape. Just take these.

I checked all these. Keep looking.

- Did you look in the fucking machines? - [indistinct]

- Hey, let's go. Hey, Gary. - Yeah?

Let's check out the basement.

- Fuckin' tape. This is... - We gotta find the fuckin' tape, dude.

...weird.

Brad, Brad, Brad. Brad.

- What? - Stay in here, man.

- Fuck, no. You stay in here. - Those tapes haven't been checked.

Hey, fuck you, man. I'm not fuckin'...

- Dude, stay in here. - Whoa, shit.

- You can stay in here. - Ow! Fuck!

- Check out those tapes, man. - All right, fine. Jesus, fuck.

Jesus.

Oh, fuck.

[sighs]

Hello.

Is there something...?

Huh.

- [man] Put 'em on. - Put 'em on.

- Come on. OK, yeah. - OK.

- Oh, perfect fit. - Give me... Give me one of these.

- Yeah. - It's perfect. Nice!

- What? - That shit is so quad.

You can't even fuckin' tell.

Oh, my God. Look at him, huh? Hey, dude, check it out, check it out.

- You like these glasses, right? - Yeah.

- These are not just any glasses. - They're dork glasses.

- These are video glasses, bitch. - Those are fucking video glasses, dude.

There's a camera in that shit. There's a fuckin' mike in that shit.

- Yeah. - Dude, look at 'em.

- You can't see it. It's awesome! - Boom, boom.

- Where'd you get 'em? - [both] The internet.

- Oh, on the internet? - Oh, so good.

- Am I just like a spy now? - I can't even...

Yeah, superspy, man. Super ass and titty spy.

- Ass and titty. - Yeah, tonight, I'm tellin' you.

I getit. I get it. I know what you want me to do.

- Yeah, you do. - Come on, turn your fucking dick on.

Turn it on, man! Let's do this! Come on!

- You're damn right! - I'm not filming a porno.

Let's do this! Shut up! We're doing this tonight. Come on, man!

- You are filming it. - How do I turn these off?

Controls are over here.

Now, this is for fuckin' Clint, for fuckin' being the fuckin' man tonight.

Come on, let's do this. Let's go, let's go!

Oh, so wholesome!

[all belch]

Power up!

- Check it out. - Turn your brights on, yo.

That's what we're doin' to this girl right there.

We're gonna fuckin' talk to her tonight, We're fuckin' doing this shit.

- That girl. - Oh! Fuckin' thigh high.

No. If you're filming right now, make sure...

- I don't wanna run out the battery. - Roll on that ass.

Roll on that fuckin' ass, son. Roll...

[loud rock music]

- Like a cross between... - You're the most intolerable person.

What? Speak up! I can't...

- We gotta fuckin' get out of there. - OK, OK.

- Where we gonna go now? - You game? Get your game face on.

- You got it. - I'mon. I'mon. It's on right now.

You're my boy. You got it.

So when you're having your country breakfast,

how many fuckin' flapjacks are you gonna put down?

- I can do like five. - Oh, yeah?

- Yeah. - That's a good one.

- At the same time. - Five flapjacks?

- Five. - How about... How about ten?

Talking about flapjacks with a girl. I could never do that.

How could you even film that?

- You ready to shoot Irish shit? - [Clint] Yeah, sure.

- All the time. - Hey. Two.

Two of your finest Irish shit.

- Hey, there's two more. How about... - Top-shelf Irish shit?

Four. Four. Four of their finest Irish...

Wait. Hold up. This isn't enough. What about your friends?

- My buddies are there. - Yeah?

- Your friends? Get 'em over. - Bring 'em over here.

Introduce me. I wanna buy them a shot.

- OK. - I wanna buy them a shot.

- Stay. - OK.

- Do what she says, man. - Get your friends!

Get on it.

[Clint] What, man?

- You got anything? - [Clint] What?

I like you.

I have no idea what you're saying.

Why are you all alone?

Thanks, man.

Hey, you wanna go meet some people over there?

I like you.

Well, I like you too.

So did you ever come here... before?

I like you.

Oh, OK.

Jesus, fuck.

What the fuck are you doing?

What's up, guys?

My fucking leg! Fucking leg!

- I'm leaving. - Sir, it's over.

- I need you to leave, sir. - Whatever.

- Get going. - OK, I'm going. I'm fuckin' going.

I'm gonna pick him up again.

- Tube tops are fuckin' stupid. - You're being a bitch.

Oh, shit. All right, be cool, be cool.

Hey, lady, how you doin'? You all right?

So you found a buddy? You comin' back with us?

What are you doing sitting on the fucking ground? That's fuckin' stupid.

Dude, you cleared the room out quick.

All right, so you guys are good to go. She's a fuckin' trip, huh?

Which one of you chuckleheads is driving?

- [barks] - [laughter]

Holy shit. I'm coming down a little bit. I need to take it up a fuckin' notch.

♪ Taking it up a notch Taking it up a notch ♪

She is on some fuckin' drugs, dude.

Look at her. Look at her eyes. You can't even look at her.

She's gonna suck your dick off.

- Yo, what's that? - This is the notch, my dear.

I'm gonna take it up a notch.

- Oh, no. - Take it up your snosh.

Oh, no. This... Don't do it.

[Clint] She doesn't want to.

She's fine. She's a grown-ass fuckin' woman.

- I don't think she should. - She's a grown-ass woman.

Lady, all you gotta do

is just like cover up this little guy here and take a sniff.

- Ay-ya-ya-yal! - It's really good, I promise.

- Ooh! - [Clint] You don't need to trick her.

What do you mean? I'm not tr... I'm not tricking anyone, dude.

Yeah. You're not fuckin' tricking anybody.

There's a bunch of grown-ass adults in here.

You know what? We are grown-ups.

We're two fucking grown-ass women adults

who crawled out of a bar and got into your car.

- Stop it. - All right, all right.

We did it 'cause we fuckin' wanted to. You're not in charge, you dick.

Hey! Watch with the... the heavy-handedness.

- I'm sorry. - Heavy-handedness.

[man] Sassy.

[blond man] I don't know nothin' about birthing no babies.

Come on, y'all, let's go.

[Clint] I got the key. I got the key.

- Jesus Christ. - Flip it round.

You're doing it wrong, man. Just go. Come on, come on.

- Hey. - It's blinking. Do it. Go in.

[spits]

- [slow rock music] - [man] Oh, what is that?

[woman] It's like you're on fire.

Whatever.

What's up, Negro?

[Clint] Hey.

[man] After you... you reach the... the freshness threshold.

- And get beyond that, you know. - [woman] You're such a dork.

- [man] I need to take a shower. - [Clint] What?

- [man] Oh. - [blond man] Here we are.

[Clint] Hey. Are you OK?

[gasps]

OK.

[blond man] Oh... Yeah, dude.

[laughs]

[Clint] I guess they like each other.

I like you.

[blond man laughs]

- [Clint] Dude, what's up, man? - I'm just...

I'm just fuckin' sitting on the couch, dude. Jesus.

I mean... Oh, my God.

- [hisses] - [Clint] Whoa. Shit.

[blond man] What are you, like a fuckin' cat?

[Clint] Oh, Christ. OK. We're cool, we're cool, we're cool.

This is cool.

This is weird. Do you wanna go?

[mumbles]

Do you wanna go? Do you understand?

Yeah, let's go.

[blond man] The fuckin' garter belt's gonna be tough.

They're even tougher when the girl's passed out, man. You shouldn't...

- What? - She's done, dude, she's done.

Don't do it. Stop now.

[man] Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Hey.

[blond man] Yeah, totally out, man, yeah. Unresponsive right there.

- Leave it alone, man. - Wake up.

- [Clint] Dude, she's passed out. - Hey.

Statutory, dude. Whatever! Don't snap at me, asshole.

- Hey, come on. Come on, wake up. - [Clint] It's cool.

- She's... She's had a lot to drink. - ♪ It was just so cool

- & But now she's asleep ♪ - [man] Hey, come on, come on.

- Come on. - [Clint] Dude, chill out.

- [blond man laughs] - [Clint] Just...

- Shut the fuck up! - [Clint] Hey, whoa. Whoa, hey, man.

- Hey, it's cool, man. - You fucking whack!

- [Clint] Hey, chill, dude, it's cool. - What the fuck you talking about?

- Whatever. - Hey, is everything cool?

Yeah, everything's cool. Everything's fucking cool.

- We're cool. - [blond man] Jesus Christ.

Yeah.

- Hey, we doing this or what, huh? - Doing what? I don't...

- Hey, are you OK? - [Clint] What?

You OK? You doing all right?

- [Clint] Fuck, man. - How are you?

You're beautiful. I like your face.

- [Clint] Shit, man, shut the fuck up. - [blond man laughs]

Clint, what are you doing? Get over here. Get this shit.

[blond man] Oh, shit. This is crazy.

Hey. Hey, come here. Get this shit, dude.

[Clint] Wait. Hold on, Shane.

Hey, hold on. Look at this.

- Shane, come on, man. - [laughs]

[gasps]

No!

[Clint] Hold... Hold on, guys. Hold on. Hold on. I've gotta get out of here.

Wow.

Get it together, man.

- What? Shit! - Sorry. That girl just fuckin' bit me.

- Dude, what? - Oh, fuck!

She really just fuckin' bit me! Jesus Christ!

She fuckin' bit you! Shane, she fuckin' bit him, man!

- No means no, asshole! - No, no, just stop.

- She's not into him. - No, just stop, dude. Just stop, man.

- Don't touch her. - What's your fuckin' problem?

- I wasn't gonna... - [screeches]

[Shane] Get the fuck off of me! Shit!

[blond man] What the fuck? What the fuck?

What the fuck? What the fuck?

What the fuck is that? What the fuck is that?

- What the fuck is that? - Patrick, shut up!

What the fuck is going...

[Shane screams]

- What the fuck is going on? - Patrick, open the door.

- Open the door! - [screaming]

What the fuck is going on? What the fuck is that?

What is going on? What did you see out there?

Shane is dead! I don't know! Shane's dead!

Shane's dead? Shane's dead? Shane's fucking dead?

- I don't know! I don't know! - He's not fucking dead.

Fuck! Shit! What the fuck?

Goddamn! What did you see? What did you fuckin' see?

- What did you fucking see? - He's dead.

- He's dead? - He's dead.

He's dead. He's...

What do we do? Patrick, what do we do?

Patrick. What do we do, man? What do we do?

Come on.

Patrick. Patrick. Where are you going?

[whispers] Patrick, what are you doing? Oh, shit. What is it?

- [woman gasping] - What is it? Patrick.

What do we do, man?

Hey, where are you going?

- Lisa. Lisa, wake up. - [murmurs]

Patrick. Hey. Oh, shit.

Patrick, wait. Wake up. Wake up.

Lisa, wake the fuck up! Come on!

- Patrick, what are you doing? Wake up! - [Patrick yells]

- Shit! - [screaming]

[Patrick] Get off me! Get off of me! Get off of me!

[woman shrieks]

[Patrick chokes]

[Clint whimpers]

[Clint breathes heavily]

[woman coughs]

[woman belches]

[panicky breathing]

[coughs]

[yells]

[yells]

[sobs]

[grunts]

[door clangs]

Oh! Oh, God!

[whimpers]

I like you.

[Clint whimpers]

[squelching]

[Clint whimpers]

No like?

- [sobs] - [Clint] I'm sorry.

[sobs]

[woman wails]

[Clint] Fuck!

[groans]

[wailing continues]

Please! Please! Help! Help! Help! Please let me in!

Let me in! Please! Please let me in!

Please! Please!

Oh, God! Help me, please! Get me out of here! Please!

[screams]

Dude. Dude. Couldn't find it.

Brad.

Brad. What the fuck?

What the fuck?

Ah, fuck.

- It's not filming. I mean... - Then what's this fucking red light?

I mean, it's a camera, but...

[Gary] Well, looks like we've found all this guy's shit.

[cameraman] Yeah, there's a ton of shit in here.

[Gary] You go that way. I'm gonna go over here.

[cameraman] All right.

- [Gary] Found it! - You got it?

- [Gary] Yeah, yeah. - All right, let me get over there.

Which one is it?

I don't know, man.

He said we'd fucking know, but I don't, so...

Get a bag, and let's just take all this shit up to the car.

Let me find something. We're just gonna take all of it?

Yeah, we're gonna take all of it. I don't... Fuck.

OK, this crate. This crate right here.

Oh, shit. OK.

This bag is even better.

OK.

[metallic clunk]

Shit.

Gary. Gary. Gary.

- What? - There's a fuckin' man down here.

- Shut the... - Dude, I'm fuckin' dead serious.

- Do you want me to replay this? - No. Give me the fucking bag.

Here, take this fuckin' backpack. Here's a fuckin' crate.

Let's just fuckin' go.

- There's not a man down here. - Man... I just saw... Look.

Right... I'm telling you, he just crawled back there.

[Gary] Hey, dude, there's nothing there. You're tripping.

That's what trippers do. I don't blame you, but like...

It's a good job at that, but you didn't see an old fucker or whatever.

Let's just hurry up and get this shit and go.

[tuneful music on car stereo]

Oh. Um...

OK. Hi.

This is... We're going on a road trip. Sam and I are going on a road trip.

And I'm gonna be recording our mementos, our memories.

Um... First memory is Sam already pulling over to go to the bathroom.

But this is what we're gonna be looking at for a long time.

Nothingness.

Cars.

[Sam] What we got there?

[woman] I don't see it.

That's it.

[Sam] Looks like it has bullet holes in the side.

I wonder if people go up there and shoot their guns at it.

[woman] It's just like a... really messed-up car.

That's crazy.

Oh. Don't forget to drive really slow on curves.

OK.

What are you doing? You don't wanna get a sunburn?

No, I don't wanna get a sunburn and I forgot to buy sunscreen.

Oh.

It must suck to be woken up all the time.

Babe, are you gonna wash your hands?

Ugh! Promise me before we eat you're gonna wash your hands.

I'll wash my hands after I eat with my hands.

[tuneful music on car stereo]

[Sam] So this must be the main drag.

- I can't imagine there being much... - Singing... Singing barbecue.

[Sam] Singing pig.

- [shower water running] - So Sam got this room.

It's kind of dirty and there are only two beds.

I guess he didn't reserve with enough time

so that we could get a room with one bed,

which is annoying.

But I guess it's OK, 'cause then at least he won't steal the sheets.

But I'm gonna investigate to see how dirty it is.

Uh...

OK.

This is the germiest part.

Oh. Ew.

There's like stains all around.

You think I could pull off cowboy boots?

- Mm-mm. - No?

- No. - I don't think so either.

I wish I could. It's sort of appealing to me, but...

[Sam] How about a big old wallet like that?

- I like that. I would want that. - [Sam] Big billfold.

- [woman] Yeah, I think that'd be cool. - Cowboy hat? Could I wear a cowboy hat?

- [woman] Yeah. - Yeah?

- Definitely. - You think so?

- Yeah. - Should I go in and try one on?

Yeah.

Here. Where are we?

We're in Wild West Town. Old Town, Wild West.

We're at the Wild West Junction.

All right? Come on in.

Believe it or not, this ol" miner here can see your future.

Got some money? I'll tell you all about it.

- You got some money? - I don't.

How much does it cost to tell your future?

I think it costs a dollar. But remember the movie Big?

Are you afraid of your future? Hold on. Let me see if I have a dollar.

[country music]

Hey there, feller. This here's Pappy.

And it must be your lucky day

'cause I have some words of wisdom just for you.

Listen up, now, you hear? A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Yep, yep, that's right.

It's a whole lot better to say just a little bit

than to say too much and wish you hadn't.

You know what I'm sayin'?

Now, don't you be a stranger. I got lots more to say to you.

Oh, here we go.

- OK, ready? - Yeah.

"A new turn of events will soon come about. A happy reunion..."

- Hey, there, pardner. - "A happy reunion..."

Pappy here's got some wisdom for you.

"A happy reunion with a loved one

will make life all that you ever wanted it or dreamed it to be."

"You have a very trusting nature and are easily taken in by so-called friends."

"Do not be so anxious to do favours unto others,

as there is one who is just waiting to take advantage of your good nature."

"A new turn of events will soon come about. Happy reunion with a loved one."

That's great. I'm gonna keep that forever.

- Stephanie. - Mm-hm?

- Don't put that on. - Why not?

- 'Cause I don't want you to. - I'm about to go to sleep.

Oh, Jesus. Sorry. That scared me.

- Hold on. Take your sweatshirt off. - Are you... Are you recording this?

- Yes. - I really don't want to.

- Don't want to what? - I don't want you recording.

Hold on. Take your sweatshirt off. I have a really good idea.

Just for one second, I promise. It's a super good idea.

[Stephanie] OK.

- Oh. - [laughs]

- Please don't do this. - What?

I just said I didn't want you to record something like this.

- What are you asking about? - I'm saying that...

- Stop. - Come on.

I don't want to film this.

Come on. Come on. Make out with me for a second.

I will make out with you if you put the camera away.

- But I don't want to. - Why?

'Cause it's so good. You look so hot, babe.

- Stop. - Come on. Why are you turning away?

- 'Cause I don't want you to film this. - No.

Don't put that back on.

Seriously?

I said I would do it if you would just turn the camera off.

[Sam sighs]

Well...

[Sam] That's boring with your sweatshirt on.

- Will you take your pants off? - No.

Come on. Give me... Give me something.

Give me one victory.

You're so... Oh, God, you're so sexy.

- Stop. - Come on.

What are you doing? You can't even enjoy this.

- You're holding a camera. - [banging on door]

Shh, shh, shh.

- You're being too loud. - I'm not being too loud.

Yes, you are. You disturbed the neighbours.

- No, you disturbed the neighbours. - [banging on door]

- Come on, go answer it. - Well, I'm not going to answer it.

- You go answer it. - I don't want to. I'm scared.

Are you...? Go answer it.

It's a girl.

Sam?

- Sam? - What?

Will you come out here and tell me what happened?

Huh?

Will you come out here and tell me what happened?

What happened just now?

Um...

Well, somebody knocked on our door

and I answered it,

and it was a girl.

Well, I don't know.

She was like young but not... not like a girl girl, like a college-age girl.

And...

she asked if we could give her a ride tomorrow.

- Where? - I don't know. It didn't get that far.

- It was like really creepy. - That's so weird.

I know. It is really weird.

My only guess is that she must be just going door to door and asking everybody.

But why wouldn't you like wait for people

to be getting into their cars tomorrow to ask for a ride?

- It's like really... - Maybe it's an emergency.

It didn't seem like an emergency. And also she's like not...

She wasn't physically intimidating, but I got instantly... nervous.

There was something really scary about her,

even though I wasn't like afraid she was gonna hurt me,

but she was just like weird.

[Stephanie] She's gone.

- What? - She's gone. She's not there any more.

That's good, right?

Yeah. Do you think we should still call the police, though?

No.

Why not?

I don't know.

I wouldn't really know what to say... about it.

- Oh. - And also I just don't feel like it.

Haven't you noticed there's way more hitchhikers here than you've ever seen?

Yeah.

And also I think this is like a part of the country that has drug problems.

- Like meth problems. - Mm-hm.

So I feel like I would rather just let it go.

OK.

And if she's still there in the morning, then maybe we can think about...

doing something about it,

but right now I'm happy to let it drop.

That's fine.

Do you wanna sleep over here with me?

Um, no. That's OK. I'm fine.

All right.

- Good night. - Good night.

[distant thunder]

[Stephanie] I hope it doesn't rain.

- Does it look like it's gonna rain? - It looks like it's really gonna rain.

[man on radio] As far as you can see, we've covered tents, trucks, trailers,

whatever you can think of, for our fifth annual Rain Dance Festival.

Mini casinos, fortune-tellers, helicopter rides, games, games, game...

- Did you take money out of my wallet? - No.

- Yeah, you did. - No, I didn't.

Well, you must have because I had $100 in here.

- When would I do that? - And now I have zero dollars in here.

Well, I didn't, so maybe you didn't actually have that money.

- What did you buy? - I didn't buy anything.

I have my own money. I don't need to take your money.

Are you serious?

- Did you... - What do you think I did?

- I don't know. The money's not here. - I've been with you this whole time.

I've been with you this whole time.

I have no idea what you could possibly be imagining right now.

Well, it wouldn't be the first time...

...you decided to treat yourself.

[Sam] How far can you go?

[Stephanie] I could probably go further, but I'm too scared.

- Here, I'm gonna go a little further. - OK.

Are you alive?

Did you fall?

There's just a lady out there having a conversation on a cellphone,

but it's so quiet that I can hear her even though she's about 50 yards away.

Weird.

I don't think I can get back up.

- Do you need help? - Maybe.

- I think... - Can't quite find anything to grab on.

Nice work.

- Thank you. - Thanks.

[Sam] All right, so, babe, I'm thinking

that we could drive home on 40

and spend the night in Lake Havasu

and sort of break the trip up so it's not so brutal.

Or my new idea

is we could go a little bit out of the way

and spend the night in Vegas

and still break the trip up for the most part,

but also have like one more day of fun.

I just really badly wanna play craps.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

I had so much fun playing craps last time, and I haven't done it since.

It's like the really fun game.

Real group-participation game.

Well, whatever you wanna do. You get to pick.

All right. That is definitely what I wanna do. I'm feeling lucky.

- Can I turn off the light? - Mm-hm.

[gentle snoring]

Did you erase it?

What the fuck was that?

[tape ejects]

[inserts tape]

What's so special about this tape anyway?

- I don't know. Maybe it's a... - Fuck.

Maybe it's a tape of a senator fucking his daughter or something

and we're gonna use it for blackmail.

As long as they pay us. But we're gonna make tapes, copies of the tapes.

More money.

Can you not put that so close to my face?

- [man] Sorry. - It's so annoying.

- You go to this lake every year? - Yep.

- By yourself? - Um, yeah.

But this year I have you guys, so it's gonna be fun.

[blonde] What do you do, just like walk around the woods and play with yourself?

[man] If that's what you do, can I play with Samantha?

- Get it out... - [driver] Guys, let's scare this guy.

- [cameraman] Where? - This guy over here. Are you ready?

[cameraman] Wait, wait, wait. What is he doing?

- Let's pick him up! - [car horn blares]

Shit! Oh, shit!

[laughs]

You almost fuckin' killed that guy.

Whoa. Oh, man.

- He was kind of cute, though. - What?

He was.

You seriously wanna fuck anything that has two legs

with a third tripod in between.

I would never fuck you and I would never fuck you.

- Take it back. Take it back. - I might fuck you one day.

Yeah, what kind of guys are you into?

- I'd fuck me. Would you, Spider? - [Samantha] I bet you do.

- Fuck you? Yeah, probably. - Yeah!

[Spider] I don't understand, though. Like you go to this lake every year.

It's a tradition type thing or what's the deal?

It's just fun. Not many people go there, so we'll have the place to ourselves.

[Samantha] What's fun about hanging out by yourself?

[Samantha laughs]

[Spider] Wait. I'll get the door.

- It's good, right? - Yeah, I wanna see you get it.

- Can I have a piece? - This coffee is for you.

Because when you told me about this trip,

you said it was just us girls, but we're hanging out with these dorks.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I need to document this, OK?

You told me, Wendy, Wendy, my sweet,

that this was just gonna be you and me,

and now you've told her that it's gonna be an all-girls' trip.

Yeah. So I lied a little.

[Spider] I'm just glad I'm with some people and not alone.

- Not alone in your room or jerking off. - I don't jerk off that much, but...

- Not that much? - Come on.

- [Spider] Is this it? - [cameraman] I don't know. Is this it?

Oh, OK, yeah. This is... Ooh, dead end. Let's take the left.

Really, Wendy?

- ...to go, so fucking go, man. - I can't catch that thing.

[cameraman] Just get it.

You have your bow knife, right? Get him, get him, get him, get him!

[Spider] Have you got him? What is that?

- It's a barracuda. - A what?

- A barracuda. - That's a fish, you idiot.

- It's a barracuda fly. - Oh, seriously?

- I don't know. - [laughs]

- You wanna see me eat it? - Yeah.

Oh, fuck.

- You're not really gonna eat it? - I love you, Mom.

Oh, my God! Oh, my Go...!

- I was here to fuckin' boink her. - Yeah?

What are you... What are... Wait. I have a question.

What are you doing here?

- Huh? - See that blonde goddess up there?

- No. Where? - That's what I'm here for.

[cameraman] I don't see much of a blonde goddess anywhere.

Or blonde crack whore, according to you, right?

- Give me the camera. - You're not gettin' the camera.

- For one second. - Why?

- I wanna do something. - No. Go fuck yourself.

- [cameraman] Wedgie? - [Wendy] Joey. Joey.

- Did she wedgie you? - [Spider] No.

That's more like it, dick-wise, right above your head. Look.

Stop. Stop! It's coming right out of your head.

- It's about the size of your dick. - What?

- And it's moving. - Oh!

We're walking around the middle of the fucking woods.

- Where the fuck are we going? - Can you get a shot of this?

Yeah, sure. Of what?

What, of the wall?

Yeah. Just humour me, OK? It's tripping me out.

The last time I was here, my friend fell over it.

All right. Well... Hi, wall. "Hi, Joey."

Good?

- Soon as you get back up. - Why are you carrying around grass?

- OK! God! Jeez! You motherfucker. - [Spider] I didn't do it. Wendy did it.

Well, I... You should have ninja'd that shit.

- Oh, fuck me. - Did I break it? Is it OK?

- [Spider] Oh, my God. - [Joey] Yo, that is gnarly.

Hey, Samantha. Hey, look. Hey, you like this?

- Easy. - [Samantha] It reminds me of your mom.

[Spider] That's really funny.

- You guys are fucking disgusting. - That's gross. Stop poking it.

[Joey] Oh, my God, it's not gonna hurt you.

- [Spider] Oh, look. - That's filled with nutrients.

Just suck on it. Bite into it.

[Joey] What are you doing over there, crazy girl?

- [Joey] What's with this camera? - [Spider] Look at that.

- What? - Look, this. Look at this.

- Oh, wow. - Isn't that awesome?

[Joey] Yo, we could trip all day on that.

[Spider laughs]

- Yeah. - [Samantha] Oh, yeah.

- You like that? - Dream on.

[laughter]

Joey... you're all gonna fuckin' die up here.

What?

Tell me you got that. That one skipped like 20 feet.

Nice, dude.

- I'm not getting in that fucking lake. - Yo, give me that.

- [Spider] What's up, guys? - [Joey] What up?

- [Spider] What are you guys doing? - [Samantha] Just fuckin' chillin'.

- Here, babe. - [Spider] Are you guys doing drugs?

- [Samantha laughs] - What?

- [Samantha] He fuckin' calls it drugs! - Wait. I gotta get this.

- [Samantha] The look on your face. - Are you guys doing drugs right now?

- Come on, seriously. No, seriously. - Spider, can I tell you something?

- OK. - You're a fucking dweeb.

Whatever. I don't... I don't do drugs. How about that? How's that sound?

[Samantha] Why do you look so scared? Just take a hit.

I'm scared of getting the fear.

- What? - What?

- The fear. You never heard of that? - [laughter]

Don't laugh. Don't laugh. I'm serious. The fear.

When you do too many drugs and then you get like all freaked out and crazy.

Spider, there's no fucking such thing as the fear.

- [Joey] Just take a hit, bro. Come on. - Take a fucking hit and chill out.

- I'll take a hit if you don't film it. - Promise.

- [Joey] OK. - Scout's honour.

- [Spider] All right. - [indistinct]

[Wendy] No, no, no. You gotta like breathe it in.

- Through my nose? - Through your nose.

[Joey] That was huge, girls!

[coughs]

- [Joey] Oh, man! - Oh, my God!

[Joey] Fucker's gonna die!

Oh, my God. Fuck this. Take that. Give me that.

- [Joey] Careful, bro. - I'm sorry.

[Spider coughs]

Oh, my God, my throat's on fire.

Wendy, what the fuck were you saying before about us all getting killed?

- [Spider] What? - When did she say that?

We were over by the mushroom tree. When we were standing over by the tree.

She was like, "You're all gonna fuckin' die."

[Spider] What do you mean, like here? Like here here?

- Yeah. - [Joey] Here?

- Did you guys not hear about this? - [Joey] No.

Why the fuck would I come to this lake

if I heard about some damn murders out here?

Yeah, it was pretty bad.

- [Joey] Wait. - Are you being serious?

- [Joey] You're fucking with us. - No, I'm being dead serious.

- [Spider] Well, what happened? - Um...

You know, the weird thing is that I don't remember what he looked like.

[Samantha] What do you mean, you don't remember?

[Spider] What who looked like? What are you talking about?

- [Joey] What? - [Spider] Fuck you. Fuck you.

- I told you guys. The fear. You see? - OK, that gave me the fuckin' fear.

- You know what? - [Spider] Fuck this.

- Fuck this. I'm going swimming. - [Spider] Seriously?

- Yep, seriously. - [Spider] Go for it.

Will you strip down for me, Joey?

- I don't care. - Oh, yeah?

Are you sure you wanna see that? Like I said earlier, a two-inch cock.

[Joey] Probably gonna be two inches in a minute.

[Spider laughs]

Oh! Oh, fuck! Oh, it's fuckin' cold, man!

[Spider] Oh, my God. That was crazy.

- It's fuckin' beautiful. - [Wendy] I'll join you in a minute.

- Or not. We'll see. - Whoa!

[yelling]

[Spider] Are you se...?

What the hell? Is he...?

- I'm fuckin' with you! - Fuck you!

Dude, I gotta take a shit. You just scared the shit out of me.

Can I come with you?

[Samantha] Spider, did you bring the fucking camera?

[Spider] No.

Yeah. So what was the deal with Wendy and all that killer shit?

I don't know. That fucking story was creeping me out. She is weird.

[Spider] I know, right? That's what I'm talking about. The fear, right there.

What are you doing behind there? It really stinks.

Spider, you wanna see something sickening?

- Sure. - It's fucking disgusting.

This is my new tryout, Spider, just for you.

No one has seen this yet. This shit is red hot.

- Prepare for awesome. - Wait. What?

- What the fuck? - Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, your eye. Look at your fucking eye!

What the fuck?

Oh, fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck!

- [Wendy] Hey, Joey. - Oh, hey, what's up?

Oh, God, it's getting fuckin' cold. Where are the other guys at?

They left. Wanna fuck?

- They left? - Did you hear what I said?

So they just left their stuff?

Joey, please do not tell me you're a virgin.

What?

Come on, I think we should get back into the lake,

fuck each other's brains out and we could even film it for posterity.

Wow. Turn that shit off.

Don't you wanna fuck me?

You were serious earlier, weren't you, about the murders?

I remember reading about it now.

It was like four kids were killed,

and the guy, they said the guy was like insane.

He was beyond insane. He was evil.

This lake ran red with their blood.

- And I came back... - To move on. I get it.

It's some kind of like post-traumatic stress therapy or something.

No, it's not therapy. I brought you back because I needed bait.

- Bait? - They never caught him, Joey.

They never believed me, how... how he was everywhere.

How he could be two places at once.

That wall back there, my friend smashed her head open on it.

Wendy, this is crazy, OK? I think you need help.

Maybe we should just get the others and get the fuck out of here.

They're dead, Joey. He's back.

- No. - And this time I'm ready for you.

Get that shit out of here. I think you need help.

[panting breaths]

Give it to me. Shit.

Come on.

Come on, fucker.

[distorted yelling]

Why can't I film you?

Fuck!

Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit.

Fuck.

You came back for nothing.

[panting breaths]

If you're watching this... don't come here!

Joey?

Joey?

What are you waiting for?

I beat you one on one, asshole.

Oh, fuck!

- Where the fuck did those guys go? - Where the fuck did they go?

I got a flashlight.

Probably fuckin' each other downstairs.

Dude, we were just downstairs. They're not downstairs.

Where do you think they're at?

I don't know. I'll go look for 'em.

You look through these fuckin' tapes, OK?

No, no, no. Just like that, you're gonna leave me in here with this dead fucker?

Well, sorry if your vagina hurts there, sister, but someone's gotta do it.

Just get out of the way.

[sighs]

- Hey. - Hi.

- How was... How was work? - It was fine.

One of the other girls called in sick,

so I was the only one answering phones all night.

Also my arm's been really bothering me.

It's like I bruised it or something, but I don't remember how.

I think you can see. There's a bump there.

- Can you see? - Mm-mm.

Well, I know I said I didn't want this, but when you're a doctor,

could you just support me and I'll just stay at home?

- I guess, yeah, if you want that. - That was easy.

Do you want me to make it difficult for you, like, um...

"I don't know, Emily. I guess you'll have to convince me here."

Really?

I mean, maybe a little convincing or...

Well, how about now?

Maybe a little more?

How about now?

Well, now I can show you my apartment.

Yay. I mean, I'm gonna see it soon enough.

Well, fall break's not soon enough.

Um... I know.

All right, so this...

Like right here...

Uh, this is where I heard the footsteps.

- Back there? - Yeah.

Right. I mean, could it have been coming from upstairs?

No. I mean...

My neighbour always wears heels, so I know what that sounds like.

It was weird, it was like while it was happening,

it didn't seem like it was real, but I was awake.

And you didn't check?

Are you kidding me? No way.

I can't believe I was even like able to fall back asleep.

I mean, it sounds like you were asleep.

OK, well, next time it happens, I'll call you and you can watch me

and maybe I'll be brave enough to open the door.

OK.

OK.

Emily? Hello? Hey.

- Hey. Hey. - What's... What's going on?

There's something at my door. Listen.

[muffled sounds]

- Did you hear that? - What was that?

- [light thud] _ Shh.

- Did you see that? - Emily, what are you doing?

I'm gonna open the door with you here.

- No, that's stupid. Why? - No, no, this is just like before.

Hey.

See? I told you. My apartment's haunted.

I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation.

No, no, this feels really familiar.

What do you mean?

Well, remember the first time that you got transferred off the base

when your father got transferred to Fort Leonard Wood?

- I was like 12. - Yeah.

Well, that was when things got really bad for me,

and, you know, I had my big accident and I had to have surgery,

and it was the first time we were apart since I was really little.

Mm-hm.

Now is the first time we've been apart since high school, and I just...

Emily.

So you think you saw... Are you sure you saw like a little kid?

I mean, I think I saw something, but it could have been anything, Emily.

Like, you know, maybe it was like a breeze or something like that.

Breeze. Man, of all the times for you not to be recording our chat.

I'll record it next time.

I need to find out if a little kid died here. I'm gonna ask my landlord.

Um, I don't know if you should do that.

I don't... I can't imagine he'd be thrilled to have that conversation.

Yeah, well, I think he has to tell me. I think it's the law or something.

The law?

Why are you messing with your arm like that? What's wrong?

It's not... It's not getting better. It's like this...

Like a lump under my skin or something.

You shouldn't do that. That's not good for you.

Just stop touching it and when I come and see you, I'll check it out, OK?

OK. You're right.

Hey, Emily, what's going on?

I'm hearing the noise again. I'm gonna go check it out.

OK. Um, do you have a weapon?

- No. Should 1? - Yeah, I think that'd be a good idea.

OK, OK, hold on.

OK.

- Be careful. - Yeah.

Wait. Look... Look towards your living room.

Well, I don't... There's a lamp, but I'd have to go through the room.

OK, well, do you have a flashlight?

No. Oh, I have... I'll use this.

You here? James, are you there?

Yeah.

I didn't see anything. No.

- See anything? - Mm-mm.

Whoa. Emily. Emily! Close your door.

- Oh, my God. - Are you OK?

- I should have talked to him. - Are you all right?

Hey, were you recording that?

No. I just got caught up in the moment.

James! Next time I call you in the middle of the night,

please press record!

OK. All right. I promise.

Will you stay up with me tonight?

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

Thank you.

So I talked to my landlord today.

He said no one's ever died in my apartment ever, so...

Well, that's not exactly something he'd wanna advertise, right?

Yeah, but he said like no kids ever lived here.

- It's always been student housing. - Uh-huh.

- Uh-oh. - What's that? What are you doing?

Oh, well, I felt that lump move in my arm today, so...

Emily, what the fuck is that? Don't do that!

Thought it might be a spider bite. You know how you hear about...

That's an urban legend. That's not real.

It's right under there. Look. I'll show you.

Stop. Stop that. Don't do that, OK? That's not good for you.

This is like your leg, like seven years ago. You still have a scar from that.

Emily, what the fuck are you doing?

- Well, I think if I just... - No, put that away.

- Yes. - Seriously, Emily, look at me.

Emily. Emily, look at me, OK? You need to put that away, all right?

Digging around in your arm is not gonna do any more good, all right?

You just need to put some alcohol on that or iodine or something like that

and put a bandage on it, all right?

'Cause otherwise it's just gonna get infected, OK?

You know, I'll be there in a week and I'll look at it.

But for right now just leave it alone. You're acting really crazy, all right?

OK, OK.

OK. I mean, can you go to the bathroom and clean that off?

Yeah, yeah. I'll be right back.

[water runs]

- Emily? - Yeah?

- Are you there? - Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I gotta do some work, so what's going on?

- I know. This'll only take a minute. - What's up?

Well, he's outside my... my room. I can hear little boy's footsteps.

That's really scary, Emily. What are you talking about?

Well, I just... I need to talk to him and I need your help.

Um... I mean, I'll help in any way that I can.

OK. Great, great. OK, so I'm gonna close my eyes so he doesn't scare me.

What?

I'm gonna close my eyes so I don't freak out and run back in here, OK?

You're just gonna tell me if he's there and if he's paying attention to me,

and then I'll talk to him, I'll find out what he wants,

if he wants me to find his body or whatever.

I just... I don't wanna look at him. He's a ghost. He freaks me out.

What? Um...

- OK. All right. - OK? Can you do that?

- Yeah. - OK, OK.

So as soon as... as soon as I open the bedroom door, I'm gonna close my eyes,

and then you'll tell me what's there, OK?

- All right. - OK, are you ready?

- Yeah, yeah. - All right, I'm closing my eyes.

- Hey. - Hey. What's there?

Uh... I don't see anything. It's just your hallway.

OK.

- Anything in here? - Um... no.

No.

Go in your living room.

OK, I'm not looking.

Listen, I don't see anything, OK? Yeah, you should go back to your room.

- See him? - No, I don't see anything.

Maybe he's done for the night.

- I'm almost disappointed. - What are you doing?

- What? - Emily.

- What? - Close your eyes.

Oh, OK.

Is he here?

- Back to your left. - OK.

Emily!

Emily. Emily.

You're telling me part of this thing is human?

[distorted sound]

Well, how many more times are you gonna have to do this to her?

- [distorted sound] - I don't know if she can survive that.

[distorted sound]

You're telling me. She thinks I'm in Michigan. That's far away, OK?

And that tracking device in her arm, does that have an expiration date?

[distorted sound]

Good, well, take care of it.

[distorted sound]

We're gonna have to make this look like an accident again.

It's fine. We have people that can take care of it.

I'm just gonna have to break some bones.

For fuck's sake.

Hey, how's it going?

- Made it back OK? - Yeah, yeah. The drive was fine.

- Are you all right? - Uh... yeah.

- So your professors aren't mad at you? - No.

I haven't spoken to my advisor yet, but I'll explain it to him. It'll be fine.

How are... How are you?

OK. Um... I went to see Dr Aberdeen today, like I told you.

Yeah, she came very highly recommended from my colleagues.

So did things go well?

She seems really professional. She... She diagnosed me as schizoaffective.

It's a mild form of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

OK.

I mean, it explains a lot, you know, why I thought I'd seen ghosts,

why I don't remember running out into the middle of the street that night.

I'm just crazy.

Don't say that.

Well, anyway, she's got me on some medications,

um, perphenazine and, uh...

I don't... I don't remember.

Listen, you're gonna be OK.

- You don't know. - 1 do. You're gonna be fine.

You deserve to be with someone normal, you know,

someone who doesn't have SO many problems.

What if we wanna have kids someday?

You know... you're the only person I've ever wanted to be with, Emily,

so just stop acting like I have a choice in the matter, all right?

I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you. You're so good to me.

Get some rest.

I love you.

Talk to you later.

All right.

How's it going?

...hurts. I have like a sore spot or something.

Did you... Did you hurt it on the hike today or...?

Maybe. Maybe I bumped it. I don't know. I keep fiddling with it.

Well, don't do that. I'll look at it when I get there.

OK.

What are you doing?

- Changing into my jammies. - Oh, yeah?

- Yeah. - You can keep going.

I miss you.

There was a lot of couples on the hike today and I just felt alone, you know?

Alone? Yeah?

- How's that? - Here, sit back a little bit.

There. Yeah.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

What were you saying?

Nothing.

[Gary] Zak?

Hey, Zak. I can't find any...

What the...?

- [footsteps running up stairs] - Fuck. Zak!

Jesus.

Zak.

Zak.

You fuckers.

Zak?

Hello?

Oh, fuck!

Jesus.

Oh, fuck!

[thuds]

[groans]

Fuck!

[yells]

[video recorder whirs]

- I'll think about it. - [man] Hey, Matt!

- We forgot... We forgot... - Did you guys bring any tools?

- ...spatulas. - That's what I was using.

- I was using... - Oh, the Styrofoam plate?

- On the grill! - That's good.

- Doesn't send chemicals into our food. - That's how men cook.

- It's problem-solving. - You're truly a man.

You want the burnt one or the burnt one?

She wants the really long one. The really, really long one. This long.

[man] Here we go.

[car horn beeps]

[man] Hey, dude, your dumb friends are here.

You know all this stuff's coming down at midnight?

Mm-hm.

- [horn beeps] - Yo! I'll be right down.

Come out, dude. It's gonna be an awesome party.

- Or not. - Aren't you a bit old for this shit?

Happy Halloween!

Yo!

- Yeah! - [laughs]

What's up, guys? How's it going?

- Awesome. That is awesome. - What the hell?

- Are you a bear? - I'm a nanny-cam.

- A nanny-cam. - Better than the Unabomber.

[Matt] Let's go and do this. Paul, you know where we're going, right?

[music blares from stereo]

[all sing along]

No, yeah, you're gonna wanna go to...

No, you wanna go 134 west. You wanna stay on the 134.

- [Matt] Fuck! - Sorry, bro.

[laughter]

Fuck!

[Paul] Way to give yourself an option by being in the far-right lane.

- [Matt] I thought we were going... - I'm gonna give myself the option...

It eventually will, I think, hit Spring Street.

You said it was too dark and then you just took off your sunglasses?

[Chad] See if we can go... You're fine.

[cameraman] How many people are supposed to be at this party?

[level crossing bell rings]

[train hooter]

[Paul] Oh, my God.

- [cameraman] Are the girls coming out? - [Matt] Yeah, they're coming out later.

- [Matt] ...was it? Montecito? - [Paul] Yeah. Yes.

- Yeah, it starts... It's here. - [cameraman] You said it was Mariposa.

- Just pick one. Mariposa or Montecito? - It's one of those.

- [Matt] Mar Vista? - Yep.

- I'm going left. - Why are all the streets M...?

[Chad] Madison? This doesn't make any sense!

[Matt] It's fine. Don't worry.

- [Matt] Yeah, it is right. - [Chad] Is that right on the corner?

- No. - [cameraman] Can you park here?

[Matt] Yeah, it's all right.

[cameraman] It's fine. We can come out and check on the car later too.

- [Matt] Yeah, fine. - Can you grab this beer?

- Yeah, I got it. Here. - Sword? No sword?

- Sword. - Absolutely sword. It's awesome.

[Paul] I'm wearing a stupid helmet.

Here, give me a beer.

Thank you.

- I wanna hold 'em. - Can I get one of those?

Yeah, sure. I'm holding the... Hold on.

Jesus.

- What the hell, dude? - Suck me.

Awesome.

- Hello! - Why are you trying to just walk in?

Why don't you ring the doorbell?

All right.

- [Matt] Where is everyone? - This is a nice place.

- [Matt] Maybe it's like a... - [Chad] Go round back.

- Don't worry, guys, I'll... - Are you guys... Oh.

- [Paul] Short-cut. - Is anyone else's beer warm?

That actually hurt! I'll break it!

- Du-du-du-du-du! - [bottle clinks]

[Paul] Where'd it go?

[cameraman] It's mine.

- [cameraman laughs] - [Matt] Don't litter.

[Paul] Dudes, come on.

- [Matt] You sure this is it? - [Paul] Yep.

[Chad] All the lights are on.

Maybe we're a little early.

Yeah.

- Ooh! - Ooh!

Ooh! Ooh!

[Matt] Justin? Yo, Justin!

- Creepy! - This party fuckin' sucks.

- Look over here. - See? It's a haunted house.

- It's an empty house. - A really shitty haunted house.

So shitty.

- Justin? - Justin!

[Chad] He probably went to get beer.

- [cameraman] Ooh! - [Paul] First ones through.

- [Matt] What is it? - [cameraman] All right?

[Paul] God, look at that shit.

- [Matt] All right. - [laughter]

All right. OK.

All right, maybe not the scariest thing I've ever seen.

[laughter]

There's a chair. Obviously there was a struggle.

- A chair! - There was a struggle.

- Oh, fuck! - Oh, wow. Holy shit.

Huh?

[Chad] Oh, another room that's locked up.

- Tenant's out, yeah. - [Chad] This is pretty cool.

[Matt] Whoo! It's like a nautical theme in here.

- Heavy clouds too. - Dark skies...

[rattling]

[cameraman] Hello?

Oh, Jesus!

What? Whoa, whoa, whoa? What, what, what?

It was like people reaching out of the wall at you.

What happened? What happened?

I have never seen that before. That was fuckin' awesome.

- This is rad. This is not that bad. - Shh, shh, shh, shh!

You hear that? Wait, wait, wait.

[light thudding]

You go. Go. Go.

[Matt] Last year's party, rented this castle in the desert. It was nuts.

It was like this weird, medieval... I don't know. I got a sword out of it.

[indistinct muffled sounds from above]

Hello?

Hello?

Guys?

Guys.

[loud bang]

Guys, not funny!

Fuck, dude. Where's the fuckin' party, man?

[whispers] I don't know. We're gonna go scare Matt.

[whispers] This place is fuckin' awesome.

Ready?

On two.

[yelling]

Don't! Don't! Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Ow.

All right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, dude. Come on.

No, dude, that fuckin' hurt!

[Matt] Come on, dude.

I can't believe they can afford this.

[muffled voices upstairs]

I just don't want anything to jump out at me. I'm tired of it.

[Chad] If you think about what we're doing, we're walking through a house.

What the fuck is that noise?

[muffled voices continue]

[Chad] How do we get upstairs?

- [Paul] Where the fuck is the party? - I don't know.

- Hey. - Anything in there?

[men] Cast him down!

I think I found the party.

[man leading prayer]

...and through the unity of the men with the sword.

- Arise, Lord! - Cast him...

[man] Do as ye have said and fall upon him and burn him,

that thou mayest take away the innocent blood which Joab shed,

from me and from the house of my father.

- Arise, O Lord! - Cast you down!

- Arise, O Lord! - Cast you down!

A sword is upon the liars!

A sword is upon the mighty men and they shall be dismayed.

A sword is upon their horses and upon their chariots

and upon all the mingled people that are in the midst of her.

- Arise, O Lord! - Cast him down!

- Arise, O Lord! - Cast him down!

Cast him down! Cast him down!

Who are you? Who are thou foulings?

- Cast you... - What are you doing here?

- We're just here for the party. - What are you doing here?

- Sorry. - You shouldn't be here!

- Leave! - Go on!

- Please help me! - Quiet! You, be quiet!

- Get away from there! - Whoa! OK!

- I said be quiet! - [boys] Whoa!

Holy shit!

[cameraman] Oh, shit! What the fuck is that?

- Leave. You need to get out of here. - [Paul] What the fuck is this?

- Leave! - [yelling]

[Chad] Oh, fuck!

- [cameraman] Oh, shit! - [yells]

[Matt] Get the fuck out of here!

[Paul] Chad! Oh, fuck!

[Chad] Oh, fuck!

Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Listen.

[woman screams]

We can't leave.

No, wait. What?

[cameraman] Go, go.

[Paul] What are we gonna do?

[Chad] Just get the girl and leave.

[screaming continues]

[woman] Oh, God! Help!

[Chad] Back up, back up, back up.

[woman sobs]

No!

Go on, Chad!

- Tyler, the knife! - Oh, shit!

Get the fuck off of me!

Get off me!

I got her, I got her, I got her.

Go. Go, go, go. Come on! Shit!

Oh, fuck!

Go!

Go! Fuck!

Oh, Jesus! Go!

Fuck!

Get the door!

Oh, shit! What the fuck?

- It's fucking burning! - [Tyler] Guys, come on!

[yells]

Oh, shit! Fuck!

We're trapped! We're fuckin' trapped!

Over here! Over here! Go, go!

Watch it. Slow.

Hold on, hold on.

I got her, I got her.

- [Paul] Guys, this way! - Watch out for your head, dude.

[Paul] This way!

Come on! Come on.

Go, go!

Go!

Go!

Almost got it.

[Tyler] You go first. You go first.

Holy shit!

Go! Go! Go, go, go!

- One more step. One more step. - Help, Paul. Help.

Get the car. Get the car!

- What's up with her? - Don't... Don't leave me.

Oh, God. Matt...

She's...

[Paul] Come on! Come on!

[Matt] OK. Hold on, hold on. Here we go.

OK, OK. Her feet, her feet.

- [Matt] Hold her, hold her. - [Tyler] I got her. I got her.

[Chad] Come on! Get her in.

Jesus! You got her?

Yeah, yeah, get her... Get her slowly. Gentle, gentle.

- Go, go. - [Tyler] Go, Chad, go!

[Paul] What the fuck was that?

Stay with us. Hey, can you hear me? Can you hear me?

[Chad] What street are we on?

Just focus and find the fucking hospital.

I don't even know where the fuck we are!

- [Tyler] What the fuck was that? - [Chad] Just keep her awake!

OK, stay with me. Stay with me.

Fuck!

- [Matt] Deep breaths. - [Chad and Paul yelling]

Hey, would you guys calm the fuck down?

- Oh, Jesus. - Hey, we got you. Stay with us.

- Breathe. - What the fuck, dude?

- Dude, you gotta hurry! - What the fuck is wrong with the car?

- Why are you stopping? - What the hell is wrong with the car?

- [Tyler] Dude, drive! - It's fuckin' stalled, man!

- Fuckin' drive, dude! Come on! - Oh, shit! Oh, shit!

What the fuck? Where'd she go? What the fuck?

[screams]

- Holy shit! - What the...?

What the fuck? Where'd she go? Where the fuck did she go?

- [Tyler] What the fuck? - [Chad] What the fuck was that?

[Tyler] What the fuck, man?

[Chad] Jesus! Fuck me!

[Paul] What the fuck does she want?

- [Chad] Come on. - What the fuck?

[Tyler] Get the hell out of here. Start the fucking car, dude.

- Shit. - Jesus.

[Tyler] Unlock the doors, Chad. Start the car.

- At least open my... - What the fuck?

- Chad! - What the fuck?

[all yelling]