All language subtitles for Taskmaster.AU.S01E07.The.Energy.of.a.Sickly.Child.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-SLAG

Shh!
Ugh!

Bye-bye!
Eugh!

Arggh!

Ohh!

Mmm!

This is the best day of my
life.

Yep. Go on.

Eughhh!

Shh!

Yes! Hello. Welcome to
Taskmaster Australia.

My name is Tom Gleeson, but
that's just the name my parents
gave me,

bland and devoid of meaning.

On this stage, I am known
as the Taskmaster

and am here to judge comedians

while sitting atop a throne
fit for a king

or at the very least
a shopping mall Santa.

Unlike Santa, I do not have
gifts for every child around
the world.

I have one gift for one adult.

It's a replica of my head.

Playing for the golden honour
is our cast -

as they always are, Danielle
Walker,

Jimmy Rees, Julia Morris,

Luke McGregor and Nina Oyama.

And I am not on my journey
alone. No great man is.

Santa has his elves, his deer
and his attentive, loving wife.

I've got kind of all of these
three rolled into one

in the form of my humble
assistant Tom Cashman.

Alright, let's talk prize task,
lesser Tom. What have they
brought?

Our contestants
have been asked to bring in

the most surprising thing
to bring to a barbecue.

The person with the most
surprising thing

will be awarded 5 points
by our Taskmaster

and the person who wins
this whole episode tonight

will take home all five prizes.

OK, I love surprises and I love
barbecues so this is perfect.

Let's start with Jimmy.

Um, well, it's more to surprise
the host of the barbecue.

It's actually a...a barbecue.

Alright.

That's pretty good.

It's also surprising, but it
also kind of belittles the
barbecuer.

Yeah.

They might be feeling
a little surprised,

but also then taken aback.

They're thinking,
"Am I an inferior barbecuer?"

It's gonna be hard to top.
Nina, what have you got?

I brought a plate of hair.

Alright, well, people might
remember

that Luke brought just a little
pile of red hair last week

and it didn't really
work out for Luke.

Yeah, it did look like your
pubes.

That's why I had to
bring in my pubes as well.

Whoa! Wow.

They're very luscious.

I must say, if at the barbecue
they said, "Bring a plate,"

that would be very surprising.

Thank you.

Alright, Luke, what have you
got?

Well, I wanted to bring
something practical as well as
surprising

so this provides me sun
protection

while also being surprising
for everyone who's there.

It's a mask in the shape of a
butt.

You know what's frightening
is it doesn't look

too dissimilar to your face
already.

So...

..how will people know
that you've got it on?

Um...

Well, most people would notice
I don't have a nose anymore.

Um, Julia, what have you
brought us that would surprise
us at a barbecue?

I don't know how surprising
and it's certainly not amusing.

But here it is. I had it made.

It's a chocolate
Taskmaster envelope.

Oh, just like the envelope
from the show.

Yes, sir. I've got one
for you right here.

Now, the idea was to be a
crawler.

Oh! Thank you.

Am I...

What you have done is you've
brought a dessert to a
barbecue.

Yes.

I mean, it's slightly
surprising.

"Oh, did you bring chops?"
"No, I brought dessert."

"Oh, that's convenient."

You're not like, "Oh, what the
? Dessert?!"

Like, it's not a...
No, that's true.

It's not a huge surprise.

Danielle?

For me, barbecues are family
affairs

and I thought my family
would be pretty surprised

if I rocked up to the next
barbecue in this.

Ooh!
Amazing!

Wow.

I feel like I've met you and
if you

rocked up to a barbecue in
that, I would not be
surprised.

Yeah.
Me?

And I feel like your family
wouldn't be surprised either.

In fact, I feel like your
family would also be wearing
that.

Well, I think we can agree

these are all very surprising
things to bring to a barbie.

I just have to give them some
scores.

I think Julia's at the bottom
on 1

'cause a dessert
is not very surprising.

Bringing a mask that looks like
your actual face is not that
surprising.

So 2 points for you, Luke.

This has...this has
really backfired.

Danielle with the fetish suit,
I think, 3 points

'cause I do think
it would be very surprising,

but I don't want to kink-shame.

Deeply disturbing to bring
a plate of human hair

so 4 points to Nina.

But the sheer aggression of
bringing a barbecue to a
barbecue,

5 points to Jimmy.

Yeah!

That means Jimmy is winning
and the other four are not
winning.

Would you like to see a team
task?

Are we going to see
the bad improv group again?

What do you reckon?

I hope this one doesn't
put you to sleep.

Hello, Tom!
He wasn't impressed.

Hello.
Oh, how lovely!

Hello.

You do it.
Nina, your turn.

It's quite soft.

"Make a dream come true."
Ooh!

"Best dream wins."

"You have 30 minutes.
Your time starts now."

Make a dream come true?

What was my most recent dream?
That was also a nightmare,
that one.

OK, OK,
what do we do?

So, like,
first we go somewhere...

Shh! Can you turn around
for a second? Sorry.

Can you leave? Can you leave?
You want me to leave?

Leave. Get out of here. Yeah.
Yeah, sorry, sorry. Yeah.

Tom, have you got a dream
you'd like us to make come
true for you?

I can think of a few dreams
I had as a child.

Yeah, what are those?

This is gonna sound
potentially a bit creepy.

Uh-oh.
OK.

There was, like, a fly,
but it wasn't a real fly.

It was, like, a robot fly that
I could operate via remote
control

and it would go to, like,
my friends' houses

and I could see what they were
talking about and stuff

and I knew all the information.

That is creepy.
Wow.

You are a big old creep, aren't
you?

Because Tom has always been
the guy with the pad,

he's never got to do
any of these fun challenges.

What if we... We'll set up
Tom a series of tasks.

A dream come true.
He gets to do what we do.

We could make a fly...

I could make a fly, put it on a
stick

and have Tom gleefully watching
on his iPad what's going on

and he's like, "Whoa! Yes, I
finally get to watch Julia
sleep.

"I've always wanted
to watch Julia sleep."

'Cause he's a big creep.
Such a good sleeper.

I was gonna say
what if his dream is, like,

his parents telling him
that they're proud of him?

That's a great idea.

Alright, she's up on the slab.
Whee!

Actually, hang on.
You can't sleep in a bra.

Oh, yeah. No, so you're gonna
take that off.

Are you guys OK
with me taking it off?

Of course.

Boom! Over-shoulder
boulder-holder, Tom. There it
goes.

Yeah, that's for your dream
later on tonight, Tom.

Good to see the bad
improv group is back.

You weren't tempted
to maybe go to a hospital

and make a sick child's
dream come true?

In our defence, Tom does have
the energy of a sickly child.

Look at him. He's like, "Ohh,
ohh!"

It will be a high bar, though,

for these two teams
to make my dreams come true

because working with you
is...is a dream come true in
and of itself.

Aww!

Here's our first set of
dreamers

attempting to re-create
something that's actually cute
and innocent

and not even that creepy at
all.

It's Julia and Danielle.

In order for authenticity,
I feel like

I need to dribble
out the side of my mouth.

OK.
OK.

And if we could get a close-up
on that dribbling mouth

so that Tom can really see
that close-up on the iPad,

he'll love that so much.

He'll love that so much...

Oh, Mr
Taskmaster,

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Yes,
Mr Gleeson, you're the master.

I'll do anything you say,
Mr Gleeson.

Yeah, that's good.

Tom, is this really a dream
or more of a nightmare?

I mean, I'm regretting
telling you guys about this.

So good.

I know I'm supposed
to be judging the teams,

but I feel like judging you,
Tom.

Um, you seem like a bit of a
creep.

I mean, lots of people will
often...

When they're asked what their
favourite superpower would be,

they talk about being invisible

and sneaking around
and looking at people nude.

And I just wanted a fly,
when I was 12,

to look at what the goss was
at my friends' houses and
stuff and...

Leave me alone!

Oh, so are you suggesting
that Julia and Danielle

turned your innocent dream
into a creepy one?

That is my accusation.

Can I ask what the difference
was

between your dream
and what we created?

Someone took off their bra.

Danielle, why were you
kissing me in Tom's dream?

'Cause I felt like there was
an inherent creepiness in
Tom's dream

and he wanted to catch people
doing stuff that was odd.

If you think someone else

is kissing the Taskmaster
in my dream, you're crazy.

I think it's really important
we point out too, where was the
dance?

Oh, yes.

Because I should point out
in the group tasks,

they've got an extra task where
they have to do a dance at the
end,

no extra points for it, it
doesn't count in the
competition,

and the other team
doesn't have to do the dance.

But you didn't do it this time.

Did we forget to do it?
You forgot to do it.

Did we?
Did we?

Well, it was a completely
pointless task,

but as part of that task,

if you do forget to do it,
you lose points.

Oh!
What?

Yeah, you got zero
all those times for doing it

and the one time you
haven't done it, I think -1?

OK, that is really rude of you

and I'm not talking to you
outside of the studio.

Um, that's the way I prefer it.

More dreams coming true right
after a lovely little break.

See you soon with more
Taskmaster!

Yes, welcome back to Taskmaster

where our teams are trying
to make dreams come true

in order to win some human hair
and a fetish suit.

That is right. We're in
the middle of a team task.

So far, Danielle and Julia
have outed...

I mean, falsely accused me
of being a creep.

These three were not very
supportive when I asked them
during the break

if they thought the
remote-control fly dream was
weird.

It's Nina, Jimmy and Luke.

Hello, Tom.

Hi, Luke. Is this for me?

"Dear Tom, we know
that you are very sad

"that you don't get to do
any of the tasks

"so we want to make
your dreams come true.

"Your first job
is to become the Taskmaster.

"You have five minutes.
Your time starts now."

Make it...make it three
minutes.

Make it...
Three minutes.

So you just update the tasks?

Yeah.
OK.

Oh, I have no respect
for my assistant.

Even though he tries his best
and works day in, day out,

I treat him with no respect at
all.

Please move outside
for your next task.

OK.

Hello. There's the task.

"Put the object in the bucket
from the giraffe.

"You have five minutes.
Your time starts now."

Put this in the bucket?
Yep.

Oh! What's this? Is this part
of it?

The goose? All the information
you need is in the task.

You have...
Geese can be quite aggressive.

..four minutes.

How did you orchestrate that?

That's called nature, baby.

Yes!

We shall now move on
to your next task.

Here's your final task.

"Come into the lab
and make your parents proud.

"Proudest parents win.

"You have two minutes.
Your time starts now."

Oh, Dad, your hair's so much
more...

Shut up, son! Make me proud.

Bit harsh, isn't it?
I didn't know how...

50 seconds.

Well, we really love you, son.

Um...
You love me?

Yeah.
Yeah.

I think you're doing a great
job as the Taskmaster on...

The Taskmaster's assistant.

Oh...

Oh, that's not what he said.

He said...
You're not the boss?

No, I'm the assistant...

We've already told everyone at
the RSL that you're the
Taskmaster.

They've been giving us
discounts.

So what power do you have? Any?

Oh, I wouldn't call it power.
I'd more call it
responsibility.

Are you the one with the
whistle?

Yeah.
Ugh!

You make me sick.

That's who I want as a son.
Blow the whistle!

Wait! We gotta do the reveal!

It was me all along, Tom.

Oh, Luke!

We're not your parents.
Oh, no way.

Yeah, and it was me all along.
I wasn't just me in a suit.

Your face was never obscured.

I think the best way to end
this is one of those '80s
movies -

everyone jumps in the air,
high-fives at the same time,

then they freeze us in the air.

A climactic high-five.
Ohh!

OK, so the roles were reversed
there.

Thanks for demonstrating that
tasks

aren't that easy
to come up with, are they?

Do you really think that
his life-long dream

was to take part
in a task that involved

throwing a thing in a bucket?

And the geese that we
organised.

Yes, the geese. We organised
some geese as well.

Those were ducks.
Mm. Mm.

OK, we asked for geese, so...

Tom was genuinely
terrified of those geese.

They're ducks, Nina,
for the last time.

Didn't you try and fight
some ducks earlier?

I fought the geese.
The geese are at the lake.

Those are from the pond!

So I guess the real
question is...did your dream
come true?

Well, how many points do I
receive?

Uh...
5.

Oh, no! Wait!

6.

That has turned the tables
somewhat.

Which dream do you think was
better?

I think the fly dream
was, unfortunately,

a very accurate depiction.

But being awarded 6 points
just blew my mind.

So I'm gonna have to give
the bad improv act 5 points.

Yes!

And I'm going to have to give
Julia and Danielle 4 points,

but let's not forget -1 point
'cause you didn't do the dance.

What are their overall scores
in this episode so far, Tom?

Jimmy is currently in the lead
with 10 points!

Well, let's get straight into
another task then, shall we?

Alright, here's a task we may
never see the likes of ever
again.

Ooh! Hello, Tom.

Hi, Julia.

Hello, friend.
Hi, there.

Oh, my God, oh, my God!

Is it dropping down?

Hi, Danielle.

Huh...

Is it... Oh, oh!

Oh, no. Oh.

Where...where are you looking?

I think it might have
landed over there.

Ooh!

Arggh!

OK, got it. Let's go.

"Do the most incredible

"once-in-a-lifetime thing."

"You must never
have done it before..."

"And you must never do it
again."

"You have 30 minutes.
Your time starts now."

Are you gonna follow me around
for the rest of my life

to make sure I don't do it
again?

No, but I'll hear about it.

Hmm.

So they must never
have done it before

and must never do it again
and most incredible wins.

Would you like to see
the first attempt?

I'd love to.
Here's one of Rees's pieces.

It's Jimmy Rees!

Never towed a caravan

without assistance of a
machine.

Do you think you could?

Well, let's just give it a go,
OK? OK.

I need a costume, I think.
OK.

This ute would pull it,
and I'll be Ute-Man.

OK.
You've got one job.

You've got to facilitate
the birth of Ute-Man.

Waaa! Waaa!

Oh...

Ohh!

A beautiful ute baby.

Ugh, that's gross.

Strange unit you are.

Huh, huh!

Oh, yep, I think it's ready to
move.

I might have to put
a marker down so you can see.

Here's the starting position.
Right.

Here we go.

Come on, Ute-Man!

Ready? Bend at the knees,
Ute-Man!

Oh, did you see it?

That was the start of the
banana.

It's gone at least
that much of a banana.

Wow. That's...amazing.

Hard-pressed to beat that, I
think.

See you, Dad.

Very good, Jimmy.

Good to see that dress-up's
back. I quite liked it.

I just thought it gave you
a bit of a backstory.

Yeah.

You've never pulled a caravan
before in your life, have you?

No. I do have a caravan
and I do have a ute.

And I often join them together
and, "Pfft!"

Is joining them together
how a ute baby is made?

Oh, yes,
it's like 'Avatar'.

Part of the point of this task
is it needs to be incredible.

I think an argument could be
made

that it wasn't the most
incredible thing we've ever
seen.

However...
It was once-in-a-lifetime.

It was once-in-a-lifetime
and he didn't do it again.

Which is great.

Except we should probably
check the footage

one more time
to make sure that's true.

OK.

Tom Cashman...

Oh, did you see it?

See it?
Yeah.

Yeah, I'll do it again for ya.
OK.

Go! Yes!

I'll have to do it again for
you.

Are you doing it again?
Doing it again.

I think I'll give it one more.

I'm just gonna do one more.

Come on, you stupid caravan!

OK, blow the whistle.

Oh, that's such a shame

'cause I was just saying
how you did such a great job.

Jimmy moved the caravan five
times in the space of three
minutes.

We've got once-in-a-lifetime
things coming up

right after you do
something you probably do

5,000 times per lifetime -
watch some ads.

See you soon!

Welcome back to Taskmaster

where five comedians
are trying to win

a small barbecue
to bring to a barbecue

that already has a barbecue at
it.

How are they going about it,
Tom?

Our contestants are attempting
to do

once-in-a-lifetime
incredible things,

like pushing a caravan a bit

and then pushing
a caravan a bit again.

Would you like to see another
one? Yes.

It must be wet on the east
coast and dry in Peru

because La Nina is here.

I'm gonna go to the...

I was gonna say the oven.
What's that thing called?

A shed.
A shed.

I'm gonna try and make, like,
a Rube Goldberg machine.

What's that?

It's like a domino, but you
have all different things.

Oh-ho-ho-ho!

This is the best day of my
life.

I think Rube would be proud.

Stay, stay, stay... No!

I mean, that's just actually
good.

Maybe I'm, like,
Rube Goldberg reincarnated.

When that goes up, that will
spur this ball to roll.

30 seconds.
Ugh!

I think I've got it.

OK, are you ready
for my big machine?

Wow.

'Bye.

OK, who's next?

I mean, what do you want me to
say?

"Good job! Nailed it!"

If there's one plus,
I'm glad you're never

gonna do that ever again in
your life

'cause I don't want
to see it again in my life.

Even if the machine had worked,

the skateboard
was gonna go down the ramp

and then what was it gonna do
at that point?

It was gonna go onto
the pizza flipper,

which was going to...
somehow push the ball,

which was gonna drop onto the
net, which was gonna flip it
over.

Rube Goldberg never
used the word 'somehow'

when trying to explain
how his machine works.

I didn't realise you were old
enough to be friends with Rube
Goldberg.

Saying I'm old isn't an insult.

It just means I own a house
and you don't.

OK, who's next?

Here's Julia and Danielle!

Wet T-shirt competition is
where my mind immediately goes
to.

OK.

But I'm not sure that's what
anyone wants to see.

I can't do that.
What?

I was gonna...
rob the house next door.

Oh, no.
Ohh!

You know what I've never done?
What?

Doughies.
What's that?

That's where you fang your car
in a circle.

Oh, doughnuts.
Yeah.

I wanna have a pool in the ute.
In the back of the ute?

Yeah, with bubble bath.
With bubble bath?

Yes. Might want to remove the
glasses.

Well, I need the glasses more
than I need the helmet, don't
I?

Arggh! Oh!

OK, let's get in the car, Tom.

Are you a religious man, Tom?
No.

It might be time to reach out
to your god if you wanna.

OK.

Oh...

What was that?
Nothing.

There's a bubble sound.

That is simply a fart.

You farted?

Tom, we're gonna send it!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Oh! Ohh!

Whoo-hoo!

We're actually going quite
slowly,

in a straight line.

Uh-oh, I'm farting again.

It wasn't a fart, was it?

I wish there was another gun
'cause you'd love... It's
really fun.

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo!

We're just driving in circles
at quite a moderate speed.

Oh!

Whoo! Oh, Tom!
Why aren't the brakes working?

Uh-oh. No, no, no...
Is the brake working?

Oh, my God.
Oh, God. Oh, no. Here we go!

Oh, dear Lord! Oh, no! Tom!

You've got...38 seconds.

One more?

Look at that.

We totally sent it.

There are vaguely
indents in the grass.

That, sir, is a doughnut.

Danielle, are you saying
that in Queensland

having a bath
is a once-in-a-lifetime event?

No, I just never
got to do it in the ute.

I always wanted to as a kid,

but Dad's ute trailer's rusted
out.

Hang on. This is something
you've actually dreamed of
already?

I can't believe you thought
about it before the day you did
that task

'cause, uh, Nina clearly
hadn't.

Now, Julia, you had a helmet
on,

but you didn't give one
to Tom Cashman.

What's that about?

There was only one
available on the day.

Your one bit of concern
for my safety

was just asking me
whether I believed in God.

What do you reckon a
doughnut is?

I feel like you need more
slippage when you're doing a
doughnut.

I've only ever
heard about doughnuts.

I've never seen 'em, never
done 'em.

You grew up in Gosford, though.
I know!

But no doughnuts.

Your parents probably did one
driving you home from the
hospital.

Undoubtedly!

But, no, I'd never done a
doughnut

and I have no intentions
of ever doing one again.

What about driving carefully
in a circle?

If I'm not mistaken,
there's one left.

Doing it once, it's Luke
McGregor.

Thinking I might jump in the
lake. You've never jumped in a
lake?

No, like, I've been in a pool
before, but I've never just,
like,

seen a lake and gone,
"I'll just jump in that."

Have there been
opportunities in your past

where you could've jumped in a
lake?

Every time I've been
near a lake, yeah.

Don't think I've ever
jumped in a lake either.

Do you wanna jump in with me?
Oh...

If I like it, I'm gonna
jump in a lake again,

but I'll never jump in a lake

holding hands with you again
after this moment.

Oh, my God. It's really
painful!

What are you thinking?

Like, I googled the amount of
stuff you can get from a lake.

There's just a lot of bacteria.
Do you have any open wounds?

No.
OK.

But you've got
a butthole, obviously.

Mm, yeah.
So that's... Yeah.

So... Me too.
Yep.

No...no hiding it now.

Do you want to jump in there?

I think 'want'
wouldn't be the right word.

You want to just...make out
instead? Make out?

Then we don't have
to get in the lake.

Yeah, like, we just kiss, no
tongue.

Are you OK with that?
Yeah.

Wanna dip me
or do you wanna be dipped?

Perhaps I should be dipped...
OK.

..seeing as this is your idea.

Full consent?

Yeah, full consent.
OK.

I'm gonna come in like this.
Oh, OK.

And then I'm gonna go out.

And then just put
your arm over here.

And then down.

OK, I'm coming in, Tom.
Mm-hm.

Still got full consent?
Mm-hm. Mm!

Whoo-hoo!

I think that'll turn out
really good on camera.

That's your
once-in-a-lifetime thing?

Oh, do you wanna draw each
other?

Can you look up for a second?

Whoa!

Alright, I'm done.

That's actually lovely.

So is yours.

It's the alternate universe
where you got into the lake.

And how good do our arses
feel right now?

My arse feels...normal.

Well, um, I'm getting sunburnt
so I'm gonna go back inside.

Thanks, Tom.
Luke.

Oh, God!

Ugh, I forgot!

Yep.

So, Luke, are you a germaphobe?

Yep, and, uh, I thought,

"Just before I jump in,
I'll do a quick google."

That was a mistake.

So you couldn't even do it
just that once?

No, I was scared of all the
bacteria that can crawl up...

If you think there's bacteria
in a lake, wait till you...

I'm gonna pretend
I didn't hear that.

Having watched that, what were
you actually doing
once-in-a-lifetime?

You know, it was just
a collection of weird events.

If you put anything together
in a random list like that,

you'll probably never do it
again.

Yeah, well, that was the whole
idea of the task, right?

OK, well, I guess I should
score them, shouldn't I?

I have a vested interest in
Luke's doing well, I've just
realised,

because if you give him 5
points, that means kissing me
is incredible.

Well, I think we all agree
that Jimmy is disqualified.

I can't believe this, but
somehow you're not gonna get 1,
Nina.

You're getting 2.
Yes!

And then I'm gonna give Luke 3.

Danielle got very excited by a
bath, but given she's been
looking forward

to it for her whole life,
I'll give her 4 points.

And I can't believe I'm gonna
say this - Julia Morris is
gonna get

5 points for doing a very, very
large, ordinary doughnut.

Speaking of once-in-a-lifetime,

you may find yourself
watching some ads,

you may ask yourself, "This is
not my beautiful show,"

you may ask yourself, "This is
not my beautiful host."

Well, don't worry. Your show
and host will be back very
soon!

Welcome back to Taskmaster.

One butt mask is on the line.

I believe we're going to jump
straight into another task.

What can you tell me about it,
Tom Cashman?

If this task isn't completed
in 30 minutes or less, it's
free.

Hello, Tom!

Where are you?!

Hello?

Hi, babes!

Buongiorno.
Buongiorno!

How you going, buddy?

Just waiting for
the sound delay, are you?

OK, that's a little truck.

That's a tricycle.

Boat. Friend.

Pizza.

Oh, there's pizza.

OK.

"Deliver this pizza to Tom."

"The fewest steps wins."

"Your time starts now."

Huh.

So time didn't matter in this
one.

Our contestants needed
to deliver the pizza to me

in the fewest steps possible.

A 'step' is "The action
of raising a foot

"and placing it down
elsewhere."

I know what a step is.

Anyway, let's watch them try.

The first to step up to not
step is Danielle and Jimmy.

There's a goose poo right
there. OK.

I've got no traction, Tom!

God, this is a nightmare.

This thing sucks.

That's not steps.
That's crawling, dude.

Yeah.

Here we go.

Eugh.

Gosh.

Is that actually you, Tom?

Buongiorno!

You...bastards.

That's not Tom?

Oh, my God!

Buongiorno.
Come ti chiami?

You opened with Italian, dude.

Oh, for goodness sake!

Come on!

Where does this even go?

Yep, go on. OK.

Pizza!

Big steps. Come on.

Hop, hop.

Tom?!

I'm just gonna crawl and find
Tom.

Ohh!

Ooh!

Hmm?

Thomas Marjorie Cashman!

I don't know what your middle
name is, but you disgust me!

Don't drop the pizza.
Oh, it's very wet.

Is he in there?

No!

Ugh!

Far out. God.

Where's my pizza?

Hold your horses, man.

I've got a pizza bag
now.

Is this the pizza?
Yep.

Thanks, Danielle. How you
feeling?

Oh, I just nearly... I might
vom. Oh, right.

There you go.

Thanks, Jimmy.
No worries, mate. Enjoy.

Ugh.

Did you enjoy this task?
No.

The boat sank when I was in
the lake. It started to sink.

So, yeah, I had to get
pulled out of the lake.

And that's why you're a bit wet
there at the end?

Yeah, my arsehole
was in heaps of trouble.

Well, I must admit
the presentation of the pizza

at the very end for Danielle,
it was not too bad.

Not the worst. Jimmy's was
almost perfect somehow.

How did you strap it up
into a ball, Jimmy,

and then turn it back
into a pizza again?

I have absolutely no idea.

It's also good to know that
if we do have a pay dispute,

we can replace Tom Cashman
with the Italian Tom.

Please don't.

How'd they do?

Jimmy took 50 steps.

Danielle took 48 steps.

Ooh!
2 less than Jimmy.

Alright, Tom, who else have you
got?

Neither of them are Hawaiian,
but they're both supreme.

It's Julia and Luke.

"Deliver this pizza to Tom.
Fewest steps wins.

"Your time starts...now."

This I'm not convinced
is gonna carry

the pizza all that way, Tom.

Yeah.

We are gonna discuss
your outfit when I get there.

I'm coming, Tom.

Is it wrong? Is it fake Tom?

Buongiorno.

Terrific task, guys.
Really appreciate it.

Oh, no. Is that not you, Tom?

I don't have my glasses. Can
you give me a heads-up if
that's you?

Buongiorno.
OK, great. OK, great.

I'm gonna park it over there
and come back.

I don't think I've done this
well.

Ow!

Stinging nettle, Tom.

Arggh!

It's stinging my vajeen!

Ugh!

Buongiorno.

I've just realised
I'm not meant to be

delivering it to you
'cause you're not Tom.

It's only just this second
occurred to me.

So where the living
is Tom?

You're not Tom, are you?

Where are you, Tom,
you cheeky ?

Do you know where Tom is?

Buongiorno.

Ed
Sheeran over here pretending
he's you!

I've always wanted
to do this. You ready?

Buongiorno!

I'm gonna slap the living
out of Tom

when I see him with this pizza.

Oh, no!

That's...that's still working.
That's still fine. It's
working.

This is not even
the way to go.

Did you see that flying in my
mouth?

Tom?!

Buongiorno!

Not you!

The last thing my teenager said
to me was, "Don't embarrass
me."

Tom, I'm actually gonna kill
you.

Has Tom gone? Where are we?

I don't even know
what's happening anymore.

This has always been
my favourite Tom anyway.

Hi, Luke.

Hey, buddy.

That's the whole pizza?

Well, one slice is with
Buongiorno.

Hi, Julia.

You might like some pizza, Tom.

Thanks, Luke.
Thanks, buddy.

Thanks.

douchebag.

So, Julia, I sensed that
you really enjoyed that task.

Yeah, honestly when I got over
there and realised it wasn't
Tom,

it was all of my strength
not to really turn.

Julia took approximately
one step every two seconds.

What about you, Luke?

It was not as clear
if you were as frustrated.

I used to be a pizza deliverer

and it's way easier with a...
with a car and an address.

Julia took a total of 961
steps.

OK.

And Luke took 902 steps.

If you want to order a pizza
for yourself, now's the time.

See you shortly with more
Taskmaster.

Look, I know you're watching it
now, but how about watching
more later?

Catch every moment of triumph
and utter humiliation

of Taskmaster Australia

with full episodes at
10play.com.au or the 10 play
app.

Welcome back to Taskmaster.

We're having a pizza party,
aren't we, Tom Cashman?

That's right - our contestants
have been tasked

with delivering a pizza to me
using as few steps as possible.

OK, there's one left, yeah?
That's right.

Is it last because
she's been successful?

We'll see. It's Nina Oyama.

I feel like "this pizza"
just means the singular slice.

One.

Buongiorno.

That's...

That's not...

That feels like a Tom
lookalike.

Can you say 'buongiorno' again?

Buongiorno!

Can you say it again?

Buongiorno.

I reckon Tom's in the house.

There he goes!

Whoa!

Now we are cooking with gas.

You're a kangaroo,
you're a kangaroo.

Oh! Ugh.

Oh, I really feel like
he's down at the lake

and that is him
and it wasn't a trick.

I'm either gonna be the
smartest person or the dumbest
person.

Nooo!

Oh, man... Oh, yeah,
he's definitely at the lake.

That was what they call
in the business a bust.

So... Oh, no!

I'm just gonna have to go
with the rest of the pizza.

Sorry, bro!

We're back here where it all
began.

OK. Hi!
Buongiorno.

Sorry for the long wait, sir.

Howzat?!

Pizza delivered!

Yes!

Ciao, bello.
Buongiorno.

That's amore.

Oh, my God!

Do you have my pizza?

I've been waiting
more than half an hour.

I was...

Where's my pizza?

It's...

..it's coming, it's coming.

Oh, well, this is cool.

Luckily, I left a pizza
on the ground here.

I'm not giving up.

I'm jumping.

Dinner is served!

Nina, we were all wanting you
to win. What happened?

I don't know!
Low self-esteem? I don't know!

Oh, that was the worst day
of my life.

You worked out so early
that it wasn't Tom Cashman.

Why did you change your mind?

Because I just thought they
wouldn't make us go up the
stairs.

Once I got to the stairs, I
was like, "Nah! They
wouldn't."

I think the real tragedy of
this task

is if you believed in yourself,
you would've won.

I think that's the tragedy
of my entire life.

That's actually true as well.

If you'd gone upstairs...
At that point.

..at that point,
you were only on 37 steps.

Ugh!

How did she do in total?

505 steps.

Still alright!
Ooh!

We have Julia on 1 point.
Yay!

Luke with 2. Nina with 3
somehow.

And then we have Jimmy with 4

and Danielle wins the task
with 5 points.

OK, and what about
an episode scoreboard?

Who's getting that butt mask?

Danielle is in the lead
with 15 points!

OK!

Thank you.

There's no better time than now

to settle it for once and all.

Everyone, up on stage.
We're going live!

I see you've got some
refreshments for us, Tom.

And Julia will tell us why.

Julia, please read the task.
I shall do so.

Huh-huh!

"Pick a biscuit." That's what
it says! "Pick a biscuit!"

I'm gonna go for Nice because
my English teacher used to say,

"'Nice' means 'sticky
biscuits'."

Well, my last name's Scottish
and I've got fingers,

so I guess I'll go
the Scotch Finger.

I'm gonna take the one
with some pink and red in it.

It's an Iced VoVo.

What's that one called?

It's a Ginger Nut.
Luke McGregor.

And I'll just take the last
one.

I know what you're thinking -
"This is the easiest task in
the world."

Ooh, thank you.

"In time with the music,

"dunk and undunk your biscuit
in your tea and coffee

"when you hear the whistle.

"At any stage, you may
surrender

"by placing your biscuit
on the plate.

"If your biscuit breaks,
you are disqualified.

"Last fully intact biscuit

"to be surrendered wins."

Please step up to your
biscuits.

Can I kneel? I'll stand by.

Ah!

I don't think it's gonna last
much longer. I'm gonna do
that.

It's not intact.

Oh!

Nina has surrendered.

Stop slowing it down, Tom.

Come on, Ginger Nut!

I've already lost, Jimmy.

Mine...mine has crumbled now.

I will surrender my biscuit.

Mighty, mighty!

Yes!

Oh, I see!

We could've surrendered
so we didn't lose the biscuit.

I thought you just chose to
surrender 'cause you were weak.

OK, well, we have a winner
for our live task.

Well done. Round of applause
for Jimmy Rees!

Whoo-hoo!

We'll crown a winner for the
whole episode right after this.

Welcome back to Taskmaster
Australia.

We've been deep in a riveting
game of bickie dunking.

Jimmy had a solid one left.
Mm-hm.

And you also did OK,
didn't you, Nina?

Yes, I surrendered real early.

OK, talk us through
your failure, Luke.

Uh, well, occasionally
I would touch the biscuit

to see if it had
any structural integrity left

and I think in doing that,

I ruined the structural
integrity of the biscuit.

Alright, so what are
the final scores for this task?

So we have three
disqualifications.

Nina receives 4 points for
that task

and Jimmy takes it home
with 5 points.

Ooh, OK.

Who is our winner
for tonight's episode?

So at the end of tonight's
episode, 1 point in front of
Nina,

it's Jimmy with 19 points!

Yes!

Congratulations, Jimmy.

Five surprising things belong
to you.

Get on stage and get yourself
to a barbecue!

That's it - episode seven
done and dusted.

We learnt that Tom Cashman
could be watching any of us at
any moment

with a remote-controlled fly.

We learnt that Tom Cashman's
body double needs Italian
lessons.

In non-Tom-centric news,

we learnt that our winner
for episode seven is Jimmy!

Show them the love they deserve
for at least a few seconds.

We'll see you next week!

Five, six, seven, eight!

Go!
'Cause I'm a genius!

BOO!

My God, the desperation
is hard to look at.

Do we have to leave it up
or can we take it down?

Captions by Red Bee Media