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1
00:00:04,005 --> 00:00:06,865
Police Squad! In color.
2
00:00:14,082 --> 00:00:16,022
Starring Leslie Nielsen.
3
00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:23,059
Also starring Alan North.
4
00:00:27,496 --> 00:00:30,296
And Rex Hamilton
as Abraham Lincoln.
5
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:37,595
Tonight's special guest star,
Florence Henderson.
6
00:00:42,310 --> 00:00:46,010
Tonight's episode,
Terror in The Neighborhood.
7
00:01:17,613 --> 00:01:19,583
All right, girls,
that was very, very nice.
8
00:01:19,648 --> 00:01:21,578
Now, we're gonna do it
one more time, okay?
9
00:01:24,119 --> 00:01:26,289
Now, just watch me
very carefully
10
00:01:26,355 --> 00:01:28,915
and do exactly as I do, okay?
11
00:01:28,990 --> 00:01:30,260
And...
12
00:01:40,735 --> 00:01:43,465
It's payday, teacher.
Let's have the 50 bucks.
13
00:01:43,538 --> 00:01:46,368
Look, I don't have anything this week.
Business is really bad.
14
00:01:46,441 --> 00:01:48,741
Come on, come on, continue, girls.
Go on.
15
00:01:48,810 --> 00:01:50,540
Well, ain't that too bad?
16
00:01:50,612 --> 00:01:53,452
Looks like the teacher
needs a few lessons, Rock.
17
00:01:53,515 --> 00:01:55,115
Give her the business.
No, please, don't.
18
00:01:55,184 --> 00:01:56,864
It's okay, sweetheart.
I'm just gonna rearrange
19
00:01:56,885 --> 00:01:58,165
your pretty little face for you.
20
00:02:10,899 --> 00:02:12,569
My name is
Sergeant Frank Drebin,
21
00:02:12,634 --> 00:02:14,274
Detective Lieutenant
Police Squad,
22
00:02:14,336 --> 00:02:16,796
a special division
of the police department.
23
00:02:16,872 --> 00:02:19,772
I was out testing new
emergency police vehicles
24
00:02:19,841 --> 00:02:22,541
when I got the call about a girl
beaten in what appeared to be
25
00:02:22,611 --> 00:02:24,911
a neighborhood
protection racket scheme.
26
00:02:24,980 --> 00:02:27,110
I drove down
to headquarters immediately.
27
00:02:27,182 --> 00:02:29,822
My boss, Ed Hocken,
was already there.
28
00:02:29,951 --> 00:02:31,421
Hi, Ed.
29
00:02:31,486 --> 00:02:32,916
Oh, hi, Frank.
30
00:02:32,987 --> 00:02:35,287
I'm glad you're here.
This is a tough one.
31
00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:37,586
What do we got?
One scared lady.
32
00:02:37,659 --> 00:02:39,889
A couple of hoods beat up
on her real good.
33
00:02:39,961 --> 00:02:41,661
Did she say anything?
34
00:02:41,730 --> 00:02:43,060
No, nothing.
35
00:02:44,399 --> 00:02:46,329
Same MO as the others.
36
00:02:46,468 --> 00:02:48,498
All right, where is she?
37
00:02:50,038 --> 00:02:51,398
Right over there.
38
00:02:54,776 --> 00:02:56,006
Oh, Frank?
39
00:02:57,045 --> 00:02:58,405
She looks pretty bad.
40
00:03:01,950 --> 00:03:04,020
I'm Sergeant Drebin, Jill.
41
00:03:04,085 --> 00:03:05,745
I know this may not
be the right time...
42
00:03:05,821 --> 00:03:09,561
Oh, Frank, not that bad.
That's her over there.
43
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:11,518
Sorry, madam.
44
00:03:13,061 --> 00:03:16,531
Jill? I'm Captain Drebin.
45
00:03:17,566 --> 00:03:18,696
Cigarette?
46
00:03:18,767 --> 00:03:20,527
Yes, it is.
47
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:23,301
Well, I'm here to help you.
Coffee?
48
00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:24,441
No, thank you.
Tea?
49
00:03:24,439 --> 00:03:26,269
No.
Eclair?
50
00:03:26,341 --> 00:03:27,811
Rum ball? Torte?
51
00:03:28,577 --> 00:03:29,977
No, really, thank you.
52
00:03:31,914 --> 00:03:34,314
Jill, you've got to give us
something to go on.
53
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:38,752
Names, description, sounds,
smells, shirt size, anything.
54
00:03:38,820 --> 00:03:40,150
Will you do that?
55
00:03:40,221 --> 00:03:41,471
I really should go.
I shouldn't be here.
56
00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:42,889
Jill, I know you're frightened.
57
00:03:42,958 --> 00:03:45,158
These criminals,
that's what they count on.
58
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:46,826
Fear is their greatest weapon.
59
00:03:46,895 --> 00:03:49,085
Jill, if you help us,
60
00:03:49,163 --> 00:03:50,803
we'll put them behind bars
for good.
61
00:03:52,501 --> 00:03:54,901
I'm sorry, but I just didn't
get a good look.
62
00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:58,539
Now we can't let these vermin
infest our city.
63
00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:01,006
We'll have a rotten,
scum-sucking cesspool.
64
00:04:01,076 --> 00:04:02,806
Frank, please,
65
00:04:02,877 --> 00:04:05,077
I'm trying to eat
this tuna fish sandwich.
66
00:04:05,147 --> 00:04:08,447
A rat-infested, worm-ridden
festering boil.
67
00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:11,376
Oh, Frank, cut it out, will you?
I'm talking to my mother.
68
00:04:11,453 --> 00:04:13,793
I'm really sorry.
69
00:04:13,855 --> 00:04:17,285
All right, Jill.
I see I'm wasting my breath.
70
00:04:21,863 --> 00:04:24,133
See the girl over there?
71
00:04:24,199 --> 00:04:26,129
When she leaves,
put a tail on her.
72
00:04:30,572 --> 00:04:31,672
Ed.
73
00:04:31,740 --> 00:04:33,370
Frank.
74
00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:37,281
Are these guys concentrating on
any particular area in the city?
75
00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:41,245
No, we're getting complaints from all
over, all over town.
76
00:04:41,316 --> 00:04:44,746
I have a hunch they're
concentrating right here.
77
00:04:44,819 --> 00:04:46,219
And nobody'll talk?
78
00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:49,317
No. I tell you, Frank,
without a witness, we're dead.
79
00:04:49,391 --> 00:04:52,831
Maybe we're just gonna have to
get our own evidence firsthand.
80
00:04:54,195 --> 00:04:56,625
I don't understand, Frank.
Well,
81
00:04:56,698 --> 00:04:59,868
now let's say a new merchant
moves into the neighborhood,
82
00:05:00,535 --> 00:05:01,625
opens up a shop.
83
00:05:02,103 --> 00:05:04,173
Okay.
84
00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:07,608
A new merchant moves into the
neighborhood and opens up a shop.
85
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,335
Then let's say
86
00:05:09,411 --> 00:05:13,581
that merchant attracts a certain
couple of thugs who demand payments.
87
00:05:13,648 --> 00:05:15,618
All right.
88
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:19,523
That merchant attracts a certain
couple of thugs who demand payments.
89
00:05:20,889 --> 00:05:22,959
That's a good plan, Frank.
90
00:05:23,024 --> 00:05:27,094
Al, get down to
this neighborhood here,
91
00:05:27,162 --> 00:05:30,402
locate a small business that
we can occupy immediately.
92
00:05:30,432 --> 00:05:31,962
Okay, Lieutenant.
I'll get right on it.
93
00:05:32,033 --> 00:05:33,233
What happened to your face?
94
00:05:33,301 --> 00:05:35,001
I ran into a fire sprinkler.
95
00:05:35,003 --> 00:05:36,973
Okay, go ahead.
96
00:05:37,039 --> 00:05:40,809
Frank, you better take
somebody with you.
97
00:05:40,875 --> 00:05:43,275
Get ahold of Officer Norberg.
98
00:05:43,345 --> 00:05:46,005
Tell him to drop whatever he's
doing, get up here on the double.
99
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,310
Yes, Captain.
100
00:05:49,484 --> 00:05:52,724
Al did his job well.
He found an abandoned locksmith's shop
101
00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:55,117
just down the street
from Jill's dance studio
102
00:05:55,190 --> 00:05:58,460
in the heart of the terrorized
neighborhood.
103
00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:02,086
It was a perfect location in
an area of small businesses.
104
00:06:02,163 --> 00:06:05,233
Honest people who worked hard
to make a modest living,
105
00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:08,700
easy pickings for extortionists.
106
00:06:08,804 --> 00:06:12,714
Officer Norberg from the undercover
unit was assigned to the case.
107
00:06:12,774 --> 00:06:16,884
We planned to establish a business
and hoped to become targets ourselves.
108
00:06:35,664 --> 00:06:37,064
Key is ready.
109
00:06:50,512 --> 00:06:52,282
Thank you. Come again.
110
00:06:52,347 --> 00:06:53,547
Thank you.
111
00:06:57,085 --> 00:06:58,515
Ah, there we are, sir.
112
00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:00,516
Um, I'll just buff this
down for you.
113
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:04,463
Shoot!
114
00:07:14,102 --> 00:07:15,442
Beat it, brushfire.
115
00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:17,743
Hey, what's the idea
of running my customer off?
116
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:19,805
We just wanna have
a little chat with you.
117
00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:21,114
You the new owner of this shop?
118
00:07:21,176 --> 00:07:22,936
That's right.
What can I do for you?
119
00:07:23,011 --> 00:07:25,041
Nice place.
Thank you.
120
00:07:25,113 --> 00:07:27,283
You know, this is
a rough neighborhood.
121
00:07:27,349 --> 00:07:30,049
Bet you'd hate to see something
happen to your little key store.
122
00:07:30,118 --> 00:07:32,148
What about my little keister?
123
00:07:32,220 --> 00:07:33,850
Key store.
124
00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:37,221
You give us 50 bucks a week and we
make sure your place stays safe.
125
00:07:37,292 --> 00:07:39,162
I'm not interested.
126
00:07:39,227 --> 00:07:40,957
We'd hate to have
to make you interested.
127
00:07:40,962 --> 00:07:44,732
Get out of my shop!
You get nothing from me.
128
00:07:44,799 --> 00:07:47,069
I think you're gonna be sorry
you said that, mister.
129
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:50,244
Oh, yeah?
You and who else?
130
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:52,301
Easy, Rock.
131
00:07:53,441 --> 00:07:54,641
We'll see you around.
132
00:07:54,709 --> 00:07:55,839
Take care.
133
00:08:08,823 --> 00:08:14,333
Well, Norberg, looks like we made
contact with the organization.
134
00:08:14,395 --> 00:08:17,825
You know, I was just
thinking, Lieutenant,
135
00:08:17,899 --> 00:08:21,129
what if we offered one key free
for every three keys duplicated?
136
00:08:21,202 --> 00:08:23,402
And they know
we're not gonna be easy.
137
00:08:23,471 --> 00:08:25,341
The next move is up to them.
138
00:08:25,406 --> 00:08:27,436
But only as
a limited-time offer.
139
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:39,722
Look out!
140
00:08:53,067 --> 00:08:54,797
It looks like
they mean business.
141
00:08:56,170 --> 00:08:57,370
I went back to the lab
142
00:08:57,405 --> 00:08:59,665
to find out what Olson
had come up with.
143
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:02,670
The rock that came through our
window was their first warning.
144
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:05,883
I knew it wouldn't be long
before we were contacted again.
145
00:09:06,548 --> 00:09:08,048
So, Billy,
146
00:09:08,116 --> 00:09:11,916
electrostatic particles are created
by an imbalance of electrons.
147
00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:15,786
The resulting charge is what we
scientists call static electricity.
148
00:09:16,190 --> 00:09:18,120
Gee.
149
00:09:18,192 --> 00:09:20,702
It's... It's just like when your
mom takes a dress out of the dryer,
150
00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:24,758
puts it on and it... and it clings to
every supple curve and soft, round...
151
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,700
Oh, hi, Frank.
152
00:09:29,137 --> 00:09:30,637
Why don't you
run along now, Billy.
153
00:09:30,705 --> 00:09:32,135
Next week don't forget
to bring in
154
00:09:32,206 --> 00:09:34,336
those magazines you found
under your father's bed.
155
00:09:34,376 --> 00:09:37,036
Okay, Mr. Olson. Bye.
156
00:09:37,111 --> 00:09:38,281
What you got, Ted?
157
00:09:38,346 --> 00:09:40,446
Not very much, Frank.
158
00:09:40,514 --> 00:09:43,924
I did a complete rundown on the
rock that came through your window.
159
00:09:43,985 --> 00:09:46,445
No fingerprints,
no laundry marks.
160
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:48,620
It's clean.
Mmm-hmm.
161
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:51,159
It's a heck of
an efficient weapon, Frank.
162
00:09:51,225 --> 00:09:54,085
You have to admire
the simplicity of design.
163
00:09:54,162 --> 00:09:55,902
Where'd it come from?
164
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,500
It's very interesting.
165
00:09:57,565 --> 00:09:59,165
I have a theory about that.
166
00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:09,744
As you know, Frank,
billions of years ago
167
00:10:09,811 --> 00:10:11,811
our Earth was a molten mass.
168
00:10:13,281 --> 00:10:15,821
But for some reason,
not understood by scientists,
169
00:10:15,917 --> 00:10:19,587
the Earth cooled,
forming a crust,
170
00:10:19,654 --> 00:10:22,154
a hard igneous shell.
171
00:10:22,223 --> 00:10:24,893
What we scientists call rock.
172
00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:33,898
The next morning, Officer Norberg
and I continued our business
173
00:10:33,968 --> 00:10:36,068
as if nothing had happened.
174
00:10:36,137 --> 00:10:39,067
But I knew we hadn't seen the last
of our two persuasive friends.
175
00:10:39,140 --> 00:10:41,870
They were obviously determined
to control the neighborhood,
176
00:10:41,943 --> 00:10:45,383
and I was determined to try
to stop them any way I could.
177
00:10:45,446 --> 00:10:46,846
Uh, something I can do for you?
178
00:10:46,915 --> 00:10:48,545
Ox smith?
179
00:10:48,616 --> 00:10:51,176
No, no, no, no, locksmith.
180
00:10:51,252 --> 00:10:52,722
Locksmith.
181
00:10:56,491 --> 00:10:57,761
Hi, Norberg.
182
00:10:57,825 --> 00:11:00,855
Glad you're back, Lieutenant.
Business is booming.
183
00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:03,258
I just got a huge order
to deliver some deadbolts.
184
00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:08,925
Be back in a few minutes.
185
00:11:09,004 --> 00:11:10,274
No problem.
186
00:11:18,980 --> 00:11:23,120
Well, if it isn't
the insurance salesmen.
187
00:11:23,184 --> 00:11:25,124
You should be more careful
with your property.
188
00:11:25,186 --> 00:11:26,946
Yeah, we heard you had
a bad accident.
189
00:11:27,021 --> 00:11:29,221
It's too bad
you weren't protected.
190
00:11:29,290 --> 00:11:32,490
The way I look at it,
you owe me $100 for that window.
191
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:35,960
Us? I don't know what
you're talking about.
192
00:11:36,030 --> 00:11:37,800
So, how do you explain this?
193
00:11:39,667 --> 00:11:43,397
Well, billions of years ago
the Earth was a molten mass.
194
00:11:43,471 --> 00:11:44,971
I'm not interested in that.
195
00:11:44,973 --> 00:11:47,573
You owe me $100.
Now cough it up.
196
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:53,946
That's only a 20.
197
00:11:55,784 --> 00:11:57,024
Rocky.
198
00:12:30,151 --> 00:12:32,751
Why don't you lie there
till Tuesday.
199
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:34,620
That's when they
pick up the garbage.
200
00:12:58,413 --> 00:13:01,083
You idiots.
201
00:13:01,149 --> 00:13:05,479
You stupid, lame-brained,
inept morons!
202
00:13:05,553 --> 00:13:07,323
What's wrong, Dutch?
203
00:13:07,388 --> 00:13:09,988
What's wrong, Dutch?
204
00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:12,957
You make a hero
out of a punk like that,
205
00:13:13,027 --> 00:13:15,187
he will start getting ideas.
206
00:13:15,263 --> 00:13:17,003
They think we're soft.
207
00:13:17,065 --> 00:13:19,525
Pretty soon,
we're out of business.
208
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,630
I'll take care of this myself.
209
00:13:21,702 --> 00:13:24,802
Well, when you get through with
him, can we work him over?
210
00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:26,842
I'm afraid that
won't be possible.
211
00:13:28,910 --> 00:13:31,680
When I get through with him,
he'll be dead.
212
00:13:42,023 --> 00:13:44,493
Okay, that'll be eight padlocks,
213
00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:48,759
five combos, two deadbolts
and a dozen hide-a-keys.
214
00:13:50,364 --> 00:13:53,434
By the way, would you be
interested in our holiday gift set?
215
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,370
All right, I just thought I'd ask.
Be right over.
216
00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:01,737
Got a delivery, Frank.
217
00:14:01,809 --> 00:14:03,109
Right, Norberg.
218
00:14:13,654 --> 00:14:15,424
May I help you?
219
00:14:15,489 --> 00:14:19,029
Yes, I'd like my apartment
key duplicated, please.
220
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:24,329
Well, I think I can handle that.
221
00:14:27,802 --> 00:14:29,742
Miss, uh...
222
00:14:29,803 --> 00:14:31,303
Call me Stella.
223
00:14:31,372 --> 00:14:33,572
All right, Stella.
224
00:14:33,641 --> 00:14:37,681
You know, uh, you can tell a
lot about a woman by her keys.
225
00:14:37,745 --> 00:14:38,975
Oh, really?
226
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:42,176
Oh, yes.
Take my key, for example.
227
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:43,919
It's silver-plated,
228
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:48,224
indicating that, um, I'm a woman
who likes the finer things in life.
229
00:14:48,723 --> 00:14:50,223
I see.
230
00:14:50,291 --> 00:14:53,091
And the face of the key
is unscratched.
231
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:56,000
That suggests I have
a gentle touch.
232
00:14:59,467 --> 00:15:01,467
I understand.
233
00:15:01,535 --> 00:15:03,935
Uh, how many of these
apartment keys would you like?
234
00:15:04,305 --> 00:15:05,795
Fifty.
235
00:15:05,873 --> 00:15:09,013
You can mail 49 of them
to the Chicago Bears.
236
00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:15,905
Well. And where would you
like the 50th sent?
237
00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:18,123
Just bring it around
to my apartment.
238
00:15:18,186 --> 00:15:20,286
You do deliver, don't you?
239
00:15:21,289 --> 00:15:23,219
Of course.
240
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:26,630
3:00, then.
Just let yourself in.
241
00:15:39,207 --> 00:15:41,637
It took me two weeks
to find Stella's apartment.
242
00:15:41,709 --> 00:15:43,709
She had neglected
to give me her address.
243
00:15:43,778 --> 00:15:46,278
But I had a feeling
she'd still be waiting for me.
244
00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:51,545
Hey, come on. Good boy.
245
00:16:16,377 --> 00:16:19,037
That's not exactly my idea
of a warm welcome.
246
00:16:19,113 --> 00:16:20,273
I thought you were a burglar.
247
00:16:20,314 --> 00:16:21,884
Oh, cuts quite a story.
248
00:16:21,949 --> 00:16:24,649
I deliver the key as promised.
You shoot me as a burglar.
249
00:16:24,718 --> 00:16:25,918
That's your story.
250
00:16:27,789 --> 00:16:29,219
That's the telephone.
251
00:16:32,293 --> 00:16:33,733
Pick it up.
252
00:16:36,897 --> 00:16:38,027
Hello.
253
00:16:38,099 --> 00:16:39,899
Hello, baby.
This is Dutch.
254
00:16:39,967 --> 00:16:41,997
You take care of that
locksmith for me?
255
00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:45,599
Now you say what I tell you.
Everything is taken care of.
256
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,310
Everything is taken care of.
257
00:16:48,376 --> 00:16:50,676
That's my girl.
258
00:16:50,744 --> 00:16:52,984
I'd sure like to see you.
259
00:16:53,047 --> 00:16:55,647
I'd sure like to see you.
260
00:16:55,716 --> 00:16:58,716
Sure thing, baby.
You still love me?
261
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,520
Of course I love you.
262
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:04,122
Of course I love you.
263
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:06,631
You don't sound like
you mean it, lambikins.
264
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:12,799
Of course I mean it, lambikins.
265
00:17:12,867 --> 00:17:15,667
Of course I mean it, lambikins.
266
00:17:16,637 --> 00:17:18,837
Do you really, binky poo?
267
00:17:19,907 --> 00:17:23,777
More than anything,
schnooky lumps.
268
00:17:23,844 --> 00:17:27,584
More than anything,
schnooky lumps.
269
00:17:27,648 --> 00:17:30,778
Schnooky lumps?
Oh, I like that.
270
00:17:30,852 --> 00:17:33,592
Schnooky lumps.
You never called me that before.
271
00:17:33,654 --> 00:17:36,694
Hey, what happened last night
to bring this on?
272
00:17:36,757 --> 00:17:38,487
When you held me
in your manly arms
273
00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:39,889
and crushed me to your lips,
274
00:17:39,961 --> 00:17:42,601
I discovered what it meant
to be a real woman.
275
00:17:42,663 --> 00:17:45,303
When I think of your handsome
face, your cruel lips,
276
00:17:45,366 --> 00:17:47,796
your strong chin,
the way you touch,
277
00:17:47,868 --> 00:17:49,148
the way you smother me
with kisses...
278
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:51,339
Honey, I gotta go. Um...
279
00:17:51,405 --> 00:17:53,165
Meet me at my office
tomorrow at 3:00.
280
00:17:54,108 --> 00:17:55,868
All right, darling.
281
00:17:55,943 --> 00:17:57,313
All right, darling.
282
00:18:04,785 --> 00:18:06,575
What're you going to do now?
283
00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:09,885
You and I are going
down to headquarters.
284
00:18:12,726 --> 00:18:15,826
I booked Stella on
an attempted murder charge.
285
00:18:15,897 --> 00:18:18,897
I had a stop to make before
I kept my date with Dutch.
286
00:18:26,607 --> 00:18:28,737
What's the word
in the streets, Johnny?
287
00:18:28,810 --> 00:18:30,380
I hear a lot of things.
288
00:18:30,444 --> 00:18:32,414
What do you know
about Dutch Gunderson?
289
00:18:34,148 --> 00:18:37,318
He grew up an orphan
on the Lower South Side.
290
00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:41,624
His mother, a prostitute,
died when he was only three.
291
00:18:41,689 --> 00:18:45,219
He started stealing apples
at the age of six.
292
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:48,892
Spent a lifetime
in juvenile hall.
293
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,432
All he's ever known is
the world of crime.
294
00:18:52,933 --> 00:18:55,003
This doesn't excuse
what he does,
295
00:18:55,069 --> 00:18:58,069
but I think we understand him
a little better.
296
00:18:58,205 --> 00:19:01,665
I got 20 asking for concrete
evidence against Dutch.
297
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:09,546
I know none of this is
admissible, Lieutenant,
298
00:19:09,617 --> 00:19:11,877
but I got some photostats
299
00:19:11,952 --> 00:19:13,692
of a couple of business dealings
300
00:19:13,754 --> 00:19:15,954
that make your guy
look pretty dirty.
301
00:19:17,191 --> 00:19:18,691
Thanks, Johnny.
302
00:19:18,759 --> 00:19:21,029
It seems I've got
a 3:15 appointment.
303
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:23,595
3:00.
304
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:26,872
Well.
305
00:19:32,873 --> 00:19:36,543
Johnny, there's a fire
in the Brubaker Building.
306
00:19:36,610 --> 00:19:38,140
I don't know anything about it.
307
00:19:47,054 --> 00:19:49,294
That's a furniture warehouse.
308
00:19:49,357 --> 00:19:51,787
Once the fire hits
the polyvinyl,
309
00:19:51,859 --> 00:19:56,199
you'll have dense smoke
and lethal chlorine gas.
310
00:19:56,264 --> 00:19:59,904
Extinguish the main part of the
fire with pump trucks and with foam.
311
00:19:59,967 --> 00:20:03,167
And bring in a cherry picker
to evacuate the survivors.
312
00:20:03,937 --> 00:20:05,437
Thanks, Johnny.
313
00:20:05,506 --> 00:20:07,036
Men, get your gas masks.
314
00:20:07,108 --> 00:20:09,388
I want a cherry picker over here.
All right, let's move it!
315
00:20:14,915 --> 00:20:17,145
Oh, you're right on time,
lambikins.
316
00:20:17,217 --> 00:20:18,477
Make yourself a drink, baby.
317
00:20:18,552 --> 00:20:19,852
No, thanks, Dutch.
318
00:20:21,255 --> 00:20:23,385
Who are you,
and how did you get in here?
319
00:20:23,457 --> 00:20:25,987
I'm a locksmith
and I'm a locksmith.
320
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:30,634
I'm surprised to see you're still
alive, locksmith.
321
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:35,502
Stella usually doesn't miss.
322
00:20:35,569 --> 00:20:38,599
I'm sorry to disappoint you.
Just lucky, I guess.
323
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:44,077
Well, your luck
has just run out.
324
00:20:44,144 --> 00:20:46,744
Oh, you don't think I'm gonna
come and see the professor
325
00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,383
without doing my homework.
326
00:20:48,449 --> 00:20:50,949
That should make interesting
reading to the police.
327
00:20:51,986 --> 00:20:53,946
Uh, that's a photostat.
You can keep it.
328
00:21:01,295 --> 00:21:03,325
You got guts, locksmith.
329
00:21:04,865 --> 00:21:06,225
Well, what's your game?
330
00:21:07,468 --> 00:21:10,398
Dutch, I see what
your organization takes in.
331
00:21:10,471 --> 00:21:12,201
I wanna become part of it.
332
00:21:13,641 --> 00:21:14,941
Interesting.
333
00:21:16,810 --> 00:21:19,880
I might have a job for you.
334
00:21:19,947 --> 00:21:23,677
I'm having some trouble with a
certain tailor in the neighborhood.
335
00:21:23,751 --> 00:21:25,621
Want me to collect
from the tailor?
336
00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:26,915
No.
337
00:21:27,988 --> 00:21:29,288
I want you to kill him.
338
00:21:34,428 --> 00:21:35,858
See, it's not that
I'm not grateful
339
00:21:35,930 --> 00:21:37,400
for the police protection,
Captain,
340
00:21:37,465 --> 00:21:40,395
it's... it's just that
it's a little disruptive.
341
00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:42,667
We just want you
to be safe, ma'am.
342
00:21:42,737 --> 00:21:45,037
That's why we brought
the undercover men.
343
00:21:45,873 --> 00:21:47,873
Captain?
Yeah.
344
00:21:47,941 --> 00:21:49,571
Lieutenant Drebin just called.
345
00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:51,513
They're hitting
the old tailor tonight.
346
00:21:51,545 --> 00:21:53,605
You see, Captain,
I will be just fine for now.
347
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,550
Now, couldn't you take
your squad away?
348
00:21:57,618 --> 00:21:59,218
Okay, let's go.
349
00:22:15,469 --> 00:22:16,839
Hey!
350
00:22:17,772 --> 00:22:19,442
Hey, what's the idea?
351
00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:21,366
There's been a switch.
352
00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:23,581
We're hitting the
dance teacher tonight.
353
00:22:23,644 --> 00:22:26,114
Something wrong, locksmith?
354
00:22:26,747 --> 00:22:27,947
Of course not.
355
00:22:28,015 --> 00:22:29,775
So, let's go.
356
00:22:43,064 --> 00:22:44,604
Lieutenant,
what are you doing here?
357
00:22:44,665 --> 00:22:46,765
The other policemen
just... just left.
358
00:22:46,834 --> 00:22:48,534
So, you're a cop.
359
00:22:49,236 --> 00:22:51,496
I should've known.
360
00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:55,511
That's all right.
That's one mistake we can fix real easy.
361
00:22:55,575 --> 00:22:58,135
Get over there, sister.
362
00:22:58,212 --> 00:23:01,912
All right, Rock,
let's kill us two birds with one stone.
363
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,350
Jill! Jill!
364
00:23:15,462 --> 00:23:16,702
Look out!
He's got a knife!
365
00:23:18,665 --> 00:23:20,365
Look out!
He's got a club!
366
00:23:22,936 --> 00:23:24,696
He's got a signed Picasso!
367
00:23:29,143 --> 00:23:32,913
Look out! He's got herpes!
He's got cold sores.
368
00:23:51,831 --> 00:23:53,901
Jill, call the Police Squad.
369
00:24:07,515 --> 00:24:08,745
Hey, Ed.
370
00:24:08,815 --> 00:24:10,715
Frank.
Good news.
371
00:24:10,784 --> 00:24:14,854
Just picked up Dutch Gunderson.
That wraps up his operation.
372
00:24:14,921 --> 00:24:18,321
You know, Frank,
fear is a terrible thing.
373
00:24:18,392 --> 00:24:20,962
Makes people forget
their duties as citizens.
374
00:24:21,028 --> 00:24:23,328
Yeah. Well, there's
one thing for sure.
375
00:24:23,397 --> 00:24:25,527
If Gunderson wants to run
a protection racket,
376
00:24:25,599 --> 00:24:28,529
from now on he's gonna have to
do it in the Stateville Prison.
377
00:24:29,637 --> 00:24:31,197
Say when, Frank.
378
00:24:31,272 --> 00:24:32,402
When.
379
00:24:50,491 --> 00:24:53,531
Be sure to tune in next week
for another exciting story
380
00:24:53,594 --> 00:24:55,834
from the files of Police Squad!
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