Original subtitles

It's time to wake up.

Your mother and father are waiting for you.

Phyllis, it's Saturday.

People are supposed to sleep late on Saturday.

Ordinary people, dearie.

Now, here are your clothes for today.

The nuns at school get to wear hotter stuff than that.

The limo leaves in an hour, so hurry up.

Don't let grass grow under your feet.

Another fundraiser. Another photo op.

Another boring day in the life of Hallie Richmond.

So good.

We took the formal office by surprise.

You should have seen the secret service agent die.

His jaw must have dropped about 100 yards when we stole a daddy's dick.

My day with the president's daughter.

My day with the president's daughter. Oh, yeah. My day with her.

So special.

So unique.

I'll never forget it.

Morning. Good morning, sweetheart.

Morning, Daddy.

Morning, sweetie.

Eat your eggs, baby. They're getting cold.

I believe that the young people of this country are the one and only hope for

the future.

Pass the jam, please.

Paul, I mean, come on.

I might as well sell them in favor of mom, apple pie, and puppies.

They also want to send a crew to follow you and Barbara around for a day.

Follow us? Why?

You know, a day in the life of the First Lady.

Pass the jam, please.

Thank you. Mr. President, have you seen the latest polls?

Hmm.

Olsen.

Honey, are you telling me those aren't hair implants?

George. Am I wrong or right?

Let's not start on that again.

You're much better looking than he is.

Right.

Hallie, please hurry up. We're leaving in 15 minutes.

Can't I stay home just this once?

Honey, your father's doing a speech on family, and it would be nice if the

people could see his family.

You still have to go.

Daddy. You have to go.

Morning, Sonny. Morning. How are you?

Kelly.

Schneider. Black suits again.

You guys should really try to expand your wardrobe.

Now, remember, when you're making your speech, try to work the word family in

as much as possible without being obvious. Family. Yes, sir. And in

closing, I would just like to say family, family, family, family, family,

family,

family. Like something like that.

Maybe one less family. One less, okay.

President.

Um, Daddy, did I tell you about the dance next Friday at school?

Everybody's going to be there.

Friday, honey, we're going to be in Houston.

But, Daddy, it's the last major dance of the year, and I've already missed all

the others.

Hallie, dear, it's an election year, so we all have to make some sacrifices.

Sacrifices? I go to an all-girls school, and I'm the only one in my grade who

hasn't been on a date.

Sweetheart, listen, I'm sorry, but it's going to have to be another time, okay?

Is Reed going to be there today?

All of the vice president's children will be there, yes, including Reed. I

hate Reed.

He's always trying to make a move on me.

Hallie.

It is my hope, it is my hope that daycare centers like this will help

working people, working families.

Breathe a little easier knowing that their children are safe.

I grew up in a traditional family. When we got home from school, there was

always somebody there.

But things have changed since then.

Most of the parents... Listen, there's a great new dance club opening up tonight

called Club Alien. What do you say, you and me, huh?

Sorry, I don't date out of my species.

You don't date at all.

Come on. It's not like you've got any other options.

You have ten seconds to get your tentacles off of me.

Ten, nine,

eight, seven... I have one. The vice president has three.

Three, two... And I want to finish... One.

...my family leave package.

Show America that we care about our children.

Thank you.

President, if we have a few minutes, it would be a great opportunity to work

with you.

Oh, yeah, funny.

I guess so. Thank you very much.

I hate it when he does that.

Picture this.

You're driving her home from the dance tonight. It's been a perfect evening.

You pull over by a lake or some other body of water. You put this on.

I'm telling you, my friend, she'll lose control.

She will lose control and barf on you. You want make-up music, Curtis? Stick

with the classics.

Yeah, right.

Excuse me, sir. Do you have change for a dollar? Actually, let me grab that. Give

up the chain.

There's some. You're cheap. 50 cents?

75 cents. Come on. There it is. Come on, Duncan.

We're in a public place.

Speaking of public, look at this. You got this right in public. Check that

out. No, I didn't. Look at this. You want to see something cool? We don't

want to see that here, Duncan. Come on, look at this. It's really cool. Hey,

watch this. Ready? Two rings.

Come on, Duncan.

Huh?

Not too bad, huh?

That's real cool, Duncan. The babes will be all over you. With sticks.

Duncan, you got to cut this stupid magic stuff out, all right? People are going

to think you're a dork.

You know, you guys used to like this stuff. I used to like Sesame Street,

too. Now let's see if you can magically conjure up a date for the dance tonight.

Uh, I am not going to the dance. See, the dance is for morons.

Don't be such a wuss. Just ask him. I'm not asking.

Hey!

Hey what?

Hey!

Sorry I didn't get out of your way fast enough, sir.

Steve Ellinger. I can't believe that jerk's still hanging around here. At

least he was nice enough to flunk out of school.

No.

Remember that time in sixth grade he gave you a swirly there, Donkey? Oh,

thanks for reminding me of that. And that wedgie he gave you in the seventh

grade? The wedgie! I remember the wedgie. It was good.

Look,

right there.

It's the secret to getting girls. What do you mean?

What, being unfurled?

No, no.

Be aggressive.

Girls like a guy who's aggressive and strong. Not geeks who do magic tricks.

Look. Both of you, I could get a date for the dance, okay? I choose not to

yet. Fifty bucks says you can't.

I don't know. Hey, come on, Duncan. It's easy money.

Well, unless you're afraid. Afraid?

Stop right there.

No thank you. Not afraid.

You guys got a deal, chumps. Fifty bucks. I'll bring a date. You bring the

cash, all right?

No paid escort.

And no cousins, Duncan.

Fifty bucks richer.

And half of it's money.

Pump it, Duncan.

Come on.

You're going to be aggressive.

That next girl you see, very next to me.

After her.

And her.

Definitely her.

Excuse me.

Do you happen to have this in smaller size?

I don't work here.

Oh, sorry.

Well, tell me anyway.

Which one do you think would look better on me? And be completely honest.

Okay.

Actually,

I think they both look good.

Typical boy. Can't make up your mind.

You know, when I said that, I just meant that I'm sure whichever one you buy,

it's kind of great on you.

Oh, that's sweet.

I'm Hallie.

Duncan. Duncan Fletcher. Nice to meet you.

What you got there?

Oh, it's just something I bought at the Magic Sporting Goods store.

Oh, so what sport do you into?

The usual.

Bungee jumping.

Some karate.

Rock climbing.

Rock climbing. I've always wanted to go rock climbing, but my dad won't let me.

He thinks I'm made of porcelain.

That's a shame. It's a rush.

Just, uh, I just got back from the Grand Canyon. I bungeed off the northern rim.

Really? Yeah.

Bungee snapped halfway down. I had to tie it with dental floss. Uh-oh.

I've got to go. My ride's here. It was really nice meeting you. I know this is

kind of last second, but I was wondering, would there be any chance

that maybe you'd want to come with me tonight with me tonight to, like, a

dance?

A dance?

You mean with people our age?

Yes.

I'd love to.

Seriously? Yes.

She's got to be here somewhere.

I'll pick you up at 7.

Where do you live?

1,600 Pennsylvania Avenue. It's a big white house. You can't miss it.

I'll see you tonight. Okay.

I'll see you.

1,600. 1,600. That was almost easy.

Sorry, I couldn't find one that fit.

Bye.

Absolutely not. You can't go out on a date tonight.

But, Daddy, I don't want to go to another fundraiser with a bunch of rich

dorks who have paid money just to eat with us.

Hallie, you can't go out with some strange boy you met in a mall.

Oh, right.

You know, no one ever asked me if it was okay that you ran for president.

Even though it changed my whole life.

Honey, please.

Harley, can you excuse us for just a minute?

Don't bother. It's soundproof.

George, I'm not trying to keep her locked up, Carol.

It's just we have some special...

circumstances here. It's not as if she's just an ordinary girl.

You see, that's just it. She is an ordinary girl.

Face it, George.

We are the parents of a real, live, full-fledged teenager.

And incidents like this are going to happen more often if we try to keep her

locked up in an ivory tower.

And what about security?

That's what the Secret Service are for.

on your date.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Daddy. Now listen to me. When that boy gets

here, I want to talk to him. Got it?

Got it. You won't... Now, hey, I get a kiss.

Wish me

luck, Harry.

I grew up.

You ready for this? Fifty dollars.

for a couple hunts of cheese and 75 for fish eggs. Thank you.

I'm going to need that promotion just to pay for this party tonight.

Make sure you laugh at Herb's jokes, dear.

He may even make you vice president.

Oh, look, Harry. Do nothing president. He's trying to get re-elected.

Don't go to the party. Go to your room and play. Go on.

Whoa!

Did you use that perfume?

It's not perfume. It's cologne.

Get out of here.

You think I could use a car in there?

Yeah, take the station wagon.

Oh, come on, Dad. It's a spring dance. A station wagon is the most uncool car

ever invented.

Well, BMW's my company car. You're not insured to drive it. I mean, I know, but

I'm kind of going with the girl.

You have a date?

Your first date? That's wonderful.

Oh, next time don't use so much. Come on, dear.

What kind of loser would want to go out and steal?

Casey, be quiet and give me that.

I want you to take this, but only use it in case of an emergency, okay?

Um, thanks, Dad. I appreciate it, but you know about the car that I got?

Oh, yeah.

First date, huh? Yeah.

Better get that station wagon washed.

Okay, Pennsylvania Avenue, here we are.

1300?

1400?

1500?

1600?

Oh, the White

House. Dang, it's just great.

Yeah, she nuked you, Duncan.

There goes 50 bucks.

There's a Pennsylvania Avenue South.

Name, please.

Um, Duncan Fletcher?

Say, I was actually just wondering, is there a South Pennsylvania Avenue?

All right, Mr.

Fletcher. Up the driveway, park in the visitor's lot, check in with the guard

at the front door.

Yeah, but... Drive-on. Yeah, but... Drive-on.

Excuse me. I think there might be a little bit of a mix-up here. I met this

girl named Hallie, and I... Hallie will be down in a second, son.

Hallie's here? Where else would you expect the president's daughter to be?

What?

Duncan!

Hi!

Hi!

Hallie, why didn't you tell me you were the president's daughter?

Oh, that?

That just slipped my mind.

You can put your arms down now.

You're lucky. Last week they strip-searched a guy.

Really? Come on, I want you to meet Daddy.

Daddy? You mean the president?

Yeah.

Of our country?

Oh, good cry, sir.

Mr. President, as head of the Secret Service, it's my job to protect you.

But I can't do that if you wander aimlessly out into a crowd like you did

this afternoon.

Dan, it happens to be an election year. You cannot keep him locked up. He can't

be re-elected if he gets shot.

Thanks a lot.

Excuse me, Daddy.

Oh, sweetheart, come on in.

Gentlemen, can you excuse me for a second, please? Thank you. Certainly,

sir.

We've scheduled a dinner for the Egyptian Prime Minister on the site.

Daddy, this is Duncan Fletcher.

Duncan, how are you? I'm fine, sir. Nice to meet you.

Come on, sit down.

Just something to drink? No, sir, I'm fine. Are you sure? Yes, sir. Thank you.

So, tell me about yourself.

Well, I'm 17 years old. I live in Arlington.

I attend Franklin High School.

And I would have voted for you.

But I'm too young.

Well, that's good enough for me.

You also had your appendix out last year. And after you got your driver's

license, you got one parking ticket and no moving violations, right?

Yes, that's right.

How did you know that?

Well, sometimes being president has its advantages.

But that's... I don't want to talk to you as a president.

I want to talk to you as a dad, Duncan.

Yeah, a dad with his own armed secret service.

As long as you mention that.

I'm sure you know that with Hallie we have certain security problems.

Well, Dan, Duncan,

this is Mr.

Thornhill, head of the secret service.

First of all...

Today's little incident at the mall illuminates the need for extra

restrictions. Therefore, you will limit your dating activities to this list of

pre-approved restaurants, movie theaters, and other securable locations.

Okay, so wait a second. You're saying we can only go to these places and nowhere

else? Correct.

Nowhere else.

Yeah, but see, we were going to go to... We were just going to go to dinner and a

movie.

Good night, Danny.

Good night, sweetheart.

You two have fun.

Be back by 11, okay?

Duncan, nice meeting you. Nice meeting you, too.

What about the dance? Don't worry, we'll talk about it later.

Oh, Duncan.

Sir.

You will be sure to take care of my little girl, right?

Of course.

Good night.

Come on, Duncan.

I don't know.

Sometimes it's harder to be a dad than it is to be president.

This is Rumpelstiltskin. We are heading west towards the movie theater with Snow

White and the Frog Prince.

Copy that. Frog Prince?

The Secret Service gives everybody a code name.

Yeah, I know, but Frog Prince?

Check my dad's been borrowing my car again.

Oh.

These guys go everywhere with you?

Pretty much.

You're so lucky.

You can go on dates. You can go rock climbing.

Rock climbing?

Didn't you say you were a rock climber?

I did.

I am. I do. I climb. I climb rock. Yeah.

But actually pretty much more now just into the karate.

Karate? Wow.

What belt?

I'm a black belt.

You're just lucky these seats are between us.

this.

Geez, I was in Vietnam and this stuff makes me cringe.

Just try to think happy thoughts.

Are you sure we can't go to the dance? I think we'd have a really good time.

Sure, we can go.

Of course, we've got to ditch these suits.

Ditch a secret service?

We can't do that. We'll get in trouble.

Come on, Mr. Bungee Climber. If we don't get rid of these guys, we're never going

to make it to the dance.

Okay.

What do you have in mind?

Well, he's supposed to protect them, aren't we?

Well, I think he's the one who needs protecting right now.

I was just impaled on a jelly bean.

Come on, follow me. Yeah, okay.

Oh, this is sanitary.

Do you like to have a wet nap or anything?

Come on, hurry up.

I can't believe we got away with that.

So, off to the dance, right?

Right.

Just as soon as I stop off and buy some new clothes.

New clothes? Why would you want the clothes you have on?

Duncan, look at me.

What? I think you look nice.

I don't want to look nice.

I want to look hot.

Just make a left up here.

Would you mind telling me how they even got out of your sight?

Well, sir, Agent Schneider and I thought that Snow White and the Frog Prince were

on the floor engaging in some adolescent passion.

Maybe you'd like to explain that to the President of the United States.

No, sir, I would not.

Should we notify D.C. police, sir? Not yet.

I don't want the media getting wind of this.

How'd he take it?

Oh, all things considered, well.

Mr.

President, Agent Kelly just reported in.

Apparently, Hallie had gotten locked.

Locked?

Well, actually, we think she and the boy may have deliberately run away.

Run away?

You mind telling me how a 16-year-old girl can run away from two trained

Secret Service men?

Uh, we're still trying to ascertain that, sir.

Meanwhile, Hallie's out there with no protection.

Okay.

Hallie, you know Hallie. She's probably just gone out for an ice cream or

something.

Look, we might as well go on to the fundraiser, and as soon as they know

anything, they'll contact us.

Immediately.

All right.

All right, we'll go.

And, Dan, I want you to find that boy's parents and bring them to the

fundraiser. I want to talk to them.

Yes, sir.

Couldn't have waited until later.

Pretty much try it on the whole store. Can't you, you know, just like pick one?

No, I can't just pick one.

You do want me to look good, don't you?

Could you do me a favor?

Put these back for me. Sure.

Wait, wait.

And these.

Okay. And wait.

These two. What? You have somebody in there making these for you? Jeez.

Five.

Six.

Size whatever.

This

is

cool.

Oh, Duncan.

Not more dresses.

Well, Duncan, what do you think?

Whoa.

Yup. Now, Duncan, we must work on your ensemble.

Your outfit lacks a certain cohesive element.

Like what?

Oh, Duncan, this is so you.

Yeah, if I were dating someone named Yoko.

Come on.

you got through 16 years of your life without this outfit.

It's going to take me another 16 years to pay this outfit off.

Well, it's on sale and you've got a credit card, right?

Well, yeah, but I can't use it. I mean, I don't like to use it unless there's an

emergency.

Trust me, Duncan.

This is what we call a fashion emergency.

That'll be $730.16.

Duncan, it's Club Alien.

Club what?

Club Alien, that new club that just opened. We should go there. Okay, we can

go there. After the dance, of course.

You know, you look a lot like President Richmond's daughter.

Really? I've always thought she was so much prettier than me.

Bye.

What's your policy on returning items?

There's no return on sale items.

How you doing?

You ready to go to the dance?

Yes, but could I have a little bitty favor?

Sure. Like what?

Can I drive?

Oh, you know what? I'm really not supposed to let anybody else drive the

car.

I thought it was yours.

Thanks, Duncan.

Then the client comes back to me, and did you remember this, Charlie? And he

says, but I thought it was affordable.

That story gets funny every time you tell it, Herb.

Gerald, honey, we need more eyes.

Okay, Herb, look, I have to get more eyes. Don't tell any more funny stories

until I get back. You got it, Charlie.

Herb, he couldn't make a hyena laugh.

You guys here for the party?

No, sweetie.

We're federal agents with the Secret Service.

May we please speak to your mommy or daddy?

And may I inquire as to the reason of your visit tonight?

Charles, you can kill him when he gets home. There's nothing you can do about

it right now.

Yes, there is. I can make sure that Herb, my boss, doesn't find out that her

teenage son has taken the company car for a joyride.

is out with the president's daughter?

I'm afraid so, ma'am.

And you're going to have to come with us.

You can bring your own car if you'd like.

Of all the nights for this to happen.

Well, I'm sorry, sir, but the president wants to see you now.

Are you sure we're talking about our Duncan?

They were last seen driving a red BMW licensed T8D1016.

Charles, you let your son drive the company car.

He was getting it washed?

Easy. Come to a nice stop. All right, I'm coming.

Woo-hoo!

Look what we got here, boys.

Something I'd really like to have.

Woo-hoo!

Come on over here, sweetie, and give me a big smoochy kiss.

Look at those guys.

They see a girl and they turn into Howard Stern.

Yes, it's very rude. You're right. Just ignore them.

Come on, give us a little kiss there, girls.

Ellie. Hey, what's your problem? You guys late for a meeting at the inbred

club? Ellie.

You better watch out, honey. I'll come over there and teach you some lessons

you never thought you'd learn.

Well, pinhead, you get out of the car and come over here, and you'll be sorry

you were ever born.

Oh, who's going to make me sorry? That geek you're riding with?

Excuse me, but that geek happens to be a black belt in karate, and he'll kick

your big, ugly butt.

We did. We did make it, but there's this little catch. They're going to come

looking for us.

We've got to get up the road, and I mean like now.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Not a scratch.

Hey, Duncan, look where we are. It's that dance club I told you about.

Let's go in.

What about our dance?

Well, we'll just hang out there until the jerks are gone, and then we'll go.

Oh, yeah, we just happen to end up here.

This is Kay Wingate reporting live for WLMW Action News.

The fundraiser tonight is expected to raise up to $10 million for the

president's re-election campaign, with some people paying as much as $100,000

just to sit at the president's table.

Protesters here tonight maintain that this is tantamount to buying the

presidency. This is Red Eagle. We're approaching the fundraiser with the

prime prince's parents.

Copy that.

Think they got anything good to eat here? Open the door.

I wonder how much this little trip is costing the taxpayers.

I can't wait to meet this guy.

Charles, will you stop it? This is like a police state. You know, I really don't

want to be touched right now. I don't particularly like touching you either,

sir. Anyhow, I'm telling anyone who listens, if you want to get the country

back on track, you've got to let the president finish what he started. You

know what I mean?

Absolutely. And the First Lady and I certainly appreciate your support.

Oh, yeah.

Pleasure. Excuse me, Mr. President, First Lady.

People that you requested are here in the next room. Come with me. All right,

fine. Excuse me a minute. Something's come up here. Oh, hope it wasn't a

salmon mousse.

It won't be long. My meat is running.

Well, this is not how I envisioned my day going. I don't care who this guy is.

Everyone's probably bugged.

Mr. President, Charles and Rita Fletcher, the boys' parents.

It's nice to meet you. How are you?

It's an honor to meet you. Thank you.

And I'm Tracy.

I'm a big fan of yours, even though my dad thinks you're a loser.

All right.

Tracy. Okay, what is going on here, please? Well, evidently your son,

Darwin. Duncan.

Duncan has disappeared with my daughter, Hallie. We didn't know Duncan was out

with your daughter, Mr. President. He just said he had a date.

Whoa, talk about a miracle.

The girl would have to be brain dead to go out with Duncan.

This is a very big night for us. There's a party back at the house. My boss is

there. I understand, but do you have any idea where they might have gone?

He said that they went to the spring dance at Franklin High.

I'll get two men over there right away.

You know, Duncan is a good boy.

I'm sure that Hallie's safe.

Oh, Mrs. Fletcher, we're not suggesting that Duncan has done anything wrong

here. I don't even know why we think this is Duncan's fault.

Maybe Haley's behind all this. It's Hallie, dear. What?

Hallie. Hallie. Hallie would never do anything like this.

Except for this afternoon.

She ran away to a mall this afternoon.

Well, you see, Duncan has never disobeyed me.

Well, except tonight, dear, when he took the car.

Mr. President? Yeah? We have 250 contributors out there. We have a lot of

money to see you, and they're not seeing you. Okay.

Yeah, right. You'll have to excuse us, okay? We'll be right back. Don't worry.

Why don't you make yourself comfortable, sir?

It's going to be a while.

Wow, look at this place. Isn't it great?

Yeah.

Do you want to dance?

Um, you know, maybe in a minute. I'm actually going to go and use the

restroom. Why don't you just hang out here, okay? Okay. All right.

Want to dance?

Um, sure.

Hello?

Yeah. Duncan, where are you? I got hung up, but I'm on my way.

What's the matter, Duncan? Duncan couldn't get a date from the Kennel Club

there, buddy?

Oh, uh, I got a date.

Actually, it's, uh, it's Hallie Richman, the president's daughter. Give me a

break, Duncan.

Susan's got a date with the president's daughter. You're right.

Oh, well, then I don't suppose you'd mind doubling that little wager we have,

then? Let me get this straight. If you show up at the dance with anyone besides

the president's daughter, you pay me a hundred bucks.

That's right.

All right, you got yourself a bet.

A hundred bucks richer.

Really ain't gonna be it this time, then.

I'm $100 richer.

Go sign up. I'm anywhere.

I'm not going to show.

Just keep looking.

This is my date.

Just let me finish dancing with Steve, and then I promise I'll dance with you.

Oh, thanks. Look, we can't right now. We've got to go. Our friends are here.

Our friends?

for money babysitting?

Duncan, this is Reed, the vice president's mutant spawn. Nice to meet

you. That sounds good. Okay, we got to get going now. Come on. Whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa. Not before you dance with me. Let's go. I don't want to dance with

you, Reed.

Okay, I don't get it. You go out with him, but you don't go out with me. I'm

missing something.

Yeah, human DNA.

Well, looky here, boys.

We've been looking for you, sweet thing.

You ran over my $300 boots.

I don't know what the big deal is. I was just dancing with him. The big deal is

the guy's bad news, Hallie, okay? Trust me. I know.

Duncan, you're jealous.

Me? No, no, no. See, I don't get jealous of guys that have been featured on

America's Most Wanted, all right?

You're in the real world now, Hallie. No Secret Service men, no limousines.

Well, why don't you just take me home, then? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We are

going to that dance now. It's my turn to have some fun.

You know, the kind where you don't get killed.

Oh, now what?

Oh, that's just perfect.

It's just a flat, Duncan. Yeah, now we're never going to make it to the

dance.

Reed,

are you sure you don't want a doctor?

No, thanks.

I'll be okay, thanks.

So, anyway, I see Howie in this dance club. What's the name of the club?

Club Alien. It's on Maryland and 34th.

So anyway, I see Hallie in this dance club without her secret service detail,

and I say to myself, you know, don't think he'd talk.

This is no place for the president's daughter, okay? But when I try and get

her out of there, this young hoodlum that she's with gets his gang to beat me

up. Gang?

Duncan's not in a gang.

Are you sure she was all right?

Yes, sir, she was all right.

This is ridiculous.

Rita, Tracy, wait here. Charles, where are you going?

By the time these clowns find Duncan, he'll be a grandfather.

Charles.

Wait here. George?

George?

I don't like this. I don't like this one little bit.

Your disorders.

By the way, where was your secret service detail?

Oh. Uh.

Uh. I think I need to see that doctor now.

But. Dad.

Wait a minute.

I'm coming with you. No chance. You're just going to get in my way. Besides,

how are you going to get away from the Secret Service?

Holly can do it. I can do it.

I couldn't believe it. I finally get my Redskins.

50-yard line, New York Giants. The Redskins are chasing two.

And he decides to go to Camp David.

You know, he might have, but... Who goes to Camp David in November?

Nobody goes to Camp David in November.

So, you know, I mean, what am I supposed to say? Oh, sorry, Mr. President. I

can't go. I got Redskins. You know, he's a smart man.

Hey!

Hold it.

Let me get that for you guys.

Figures.

Nice bumper sticker you got there.

Nice secret service you've got there.

All right, Hallie, I think we're ready to go.

Hallie?

Excuse me, sir.

Excuse me.

I'm just wondering, did you by any chance see the girl that I came here

with? Do you know where she went?

Excuse me.

Hey, excuse me. Hey, Duncan.

Excuse me. Hey, Hallie. Excuse me.

Hey,

what are you doing here?

I had to go to the bathroom. Yeah, well, come on. We're getting out of here right

now. But I just got here, and I made some new friends.

Hey, maybe she doesn't want to leave.

Beat it, twerp.

Hallie, I demand you come with me right now.

over my dead body.

My pleasure.

What?

Uh, maybe we'd better go now after all.

What about his dead body?

Just a figure of speech.

Here, uh, pick a card. Any card. Call it a, uh, a last request.

Okay, I'll show it to everybody. Show it to everybody.

Show it to your friends.

I'm sure everybody sees this.

You got it memorized? You know what it is? I know what it is. Okay, I'll do

that. Just put it anywhere on the deck, anywhere you want.

All right, you ready?

Is your card the... We have clubs by any chance, was it?

Way to go, Duncan!

Let me see that again.

You're right, you're right.

What do you mean he's gone?

How can he be gone? I have a hall full of donors expecting him to give a

speech. I have got the president of the United States running around like a

tourist from Podunk, USA.

Podunk?

I may be voting for Olsen this fall.

Hi, how are you?

What makes you think they might be here?

Duncan and his friends spend more time in the mall than they do at home.

Why would kids want to spend their time in a place like this?

They've got to be here someplace.

Oh, gosh.

I'm sorry you have to see this.

Welcome back to reality, Mr. President.

Thank you.

Wait a minute.

There they are.

Mr. President, I'm sorry. I was just kissing her. We won't do it again, we

promise. That's right, honey. We just, uh, just made a mistake. Me?

Thank you, thank you very much. I'm going to do one more for you here now.

This one's a little bit different. You'll notice my lovely assistant here

is holding a pair of stainless steel handcuffs.

If you could just, could you come over here?

Want to lock that out of my arm here? Bring it right around back there?

Fantastic. I'm on tight, chickie.

All right, now if you'll...

The handcuffs are securely fastened around my wrist. Nowhere for me to go,

right? Now, if you could all do me a favor, could you? Could you count to

five for me, please?

One, two, three.

Sorry, my fault. If we could just start over, that would be great.

One, two, three, four, five.

Thank you very, very much.

Thank you, guys here. I believe these are yours.

Thank you very much.

Show us another one.

Guys,

I would love to do one more, but unfortunately my lady friend and I have

to go off to a dance now. But thank you guys. I can't. I'm sorry, guys. Are you

ready? Oh, Skull, baby.

There you go. There's your wallet, pal. I appreciate that.

I didn't know you could do magic. That is so cool.

You really think so?

Yeah. I don't know anybody all right who can do that. All right. So are you ready

to go to the dance?

Ready.

That's my car.

That's my car!

Locked man.

I'm really sorry about your car, Duncan.

That's not my car.

That's my father's car. My father's company car.

It is?

Why'd you tell me it was yours? I don't know.

But you know something? It's gone now, and we gotta go report it to the police.

Come on. No, Duncan, they'll call the Secret Service.

Come on, we can just get this straightened out later. Straightened?

No, no, we will.

What about the dance?

What?

Hi! Were you out getting popcorn the last five minutes? My dad's car was just

stolen. We gotta go report that to the cops. Let's go.

Duncan, wait, wait, wait. Just listen, okay? What are your parents gonna do to

you when we get home tonight?

Grounded. For life.

No allowance.

Oh, yeah, I get to lick the garage clean once a week forever.

Plus a month.

And I won't be allowed to date till I get married.

So what difference does it make if we turn ourselves in or just wait a few

more hours?

I mean...

How much more trouble could we get into?

Duncan, this is our last night of freedom.

Our last night.

Let's at least go to the dance.

You know something, Helen?

You're right.

You are absolutely right. We should go to that dance. I mean, tomorrow, I'm

dead. So why not go now, enjoy the evening, Then tomorrow, we kiss the teen

years goodbye. Let's go to the dance!

I can't believe George just walked out like that.

Well, I'm sure the Secret Service will find them.

Yes. By the way, if you need to go to the banquet, I'll understand.

Frankly, I'd rather stay here.

Would you like something to eat?

Sure. I'll get them to send something up.

But won't they miss you out there?

Oh, believe me, they never miss the First Lady.

Did you see where Tracy went?

What the... At 100 G's a plate, it ought to be.

Paris.

Oh, gee.

Maybe that's where they went.

Big will be on TV?

No.

A station wagon.

Don't worry.

I'll lose him!

I can't believe it. They're running away from us.

Maybe they don't recognize us.

All right, pull over. I'll handle it.

Sometimes being president has its advantages.

Officer, you're making the biggest mistake of your career.

Oh, oh, oh, is that right? That's right.

Yeah, well, the White House says President Richmond's at a fundraiser. He

has been all night.

You call this handling it?

Who knew we'd be dealing with morons?

Oh, and you had to tear up the ticket just to make your point, huh? It's not

my fault he didn't know I'm me.

It would help if you would carry some identification.

Any kind of ID.

Oh, hey, look, there's your fundraiser.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's funny, they get riled up when you raise money, but if you don't, you

lose. Sometimes I think the best thing that could happen to me is I lose this

election. I can't even remember the last time I did something with Hallie just

for the fun of it.

It's not easy being president and a parent, believe me.

Hey, it's not easy being a parent even when you're not president.

Duncan and I are practically strangers.

I work six days a week.

I don't even get a chance to play golf anymore.

You play golf?

Yes, I do.

In fact, I was captain of my college team.

You play?

Not lately.

Too busy with the campaign.

I don't have time for anything.

Okay, Mr.

President.

You get one phone call.

Thank you very much.

Hey,

isn't the secretary of agriculture going to call too?

Is there anything else we could do before we turn ourselves in?

I mean, before we go to the dance.

Like what?

I don't know.

Normal stuff.

I mean, what do you and your friends do when there's no dance?

I don't know, nothing.

Except, you know, hang out with other people that are pretty much doing, well,

nothing.

You seem to think that, you know, having a normal life is really glamorous. It's

not.

You wake up in the morning, you go to school, your teachers hassle you.

You go home, your parents hassle you. You wake up in the morning, you do it

all over again.

Having normal life, it's really boring.

I mean, look at you. You jet set around the world, you meet really famous

people. And every moment of every day is planned and scheduled for me. I mean, I

don't even have time to have a boring moment.

I haven't had too many of those either since I met you.

What about the dance?

Hallie, Hallie, look, I think we should really get out of here before somebody

spots us, okay?

No, I've never gotten to see one of these from the outside before.

Excuse me.

Hey.

And now let's go over here and see if we can talk to some of these protesters.

Uh, miss, what's your opinion?

Listen, Richmond and his administration have totally destroyed everything this

country once stood for.

And this fundraiser? It just proves they're all crooks. That's not true.

Obviously you have a different opinion about the president, miss. You bet I do.

You know, you look a little like the president's daughter. I know, I get that

a lot. They are just a couple of teenager gentlemen. How difficult can it

be? Find them!

Thank you.

Where have you been?

Eating. Where else?

You're where?

How did you end up there?

Never mind. We'll be right down.

Well, you'll never guess where the president is.

No, you'll never guess where Duncan is.

So tell us, miss, what do you think about the president?

I think he's basically an okay guy.

Except, you know, he could probably lighten up some.

I don't believe it. What about you? What do you think of the president?

What do I think of the president? I think the president is a great, great

man. And forgiving.

And we should all get behind him.

Cool. My brother's a TV star.

Get him! Yes, sir.

You obviously disagree with this young man?

Well, totally.

This president is using the Secret Service to...

on our organization.

That is not true. He would never, ever do that. Oh, honey, you are so young and

naive.

President Richmond is a very corrupt and evil man.

How can you say that?

Do you know how hard it is to be the president? 24 hours a day, seven days a

week, people wanting something from you every moment. He never has any time to

do anything for himself, anything fun, anything normal.

You don't even know him.

I know what he does.

I'm surprised he hasn't already sent in his goon squad to break up this legal

protest.

There'll be three men. Go that way. Clear? Roger. Follow me.

Come on. They're going to be here somewhere.

Well, they're not. Larry, follow me.

Hurry up, Duncan. Before they spot us.

I'm coming.

Slowly. I'm coming.

Right this way.

Oh, dear. Honey, we just saw the kids on television.

So did we. Dan sent a secret service out to get them, but they got away.

What? Are you sure you want these guys protecting you?

Would you please let my husband out of jail?

Sorry, Mr. President.

I had no idea.

I just talked to the precinct captain. I told him if they catch him, they call us

before they do anything else.

Can we get back to the fundraiser before the press gets wind of this?

We're not going back to the fundraiser. We're going back to the White House.

Mr. President, if you don't go back to that fundraiser, it could cost us $10

million in donations, and that's money we're going to need in the fall. I can't

talk. Oh, for the rest of the night, I'm just a father.

Let somebody else be president.

If Duncan goes to jail, can I have his room?

T.A.D. 1016.

That's our boy. Let's get him.

We'll wait up here for a few minutes and then we'll go back down.

Are you okay?

Yeah, sounds fine.

No, no, I'm not okay, no.

I've got a little confession to make.

I'm not a rock climber.

The only thing I've actually ever climbed in my life were stairs.

And I'm not a bungee jumper.

And the only thing I know about karate is what I saw in the Jackie Chan movie.

I didn't take you for the sports at the time.

Are you mad?

I figure if you wanted to impress me that badly, then you must really like

me.

Oh, yeah.

I haven't been totally upfront with you either.

When we first met, I deliberately didn't tell you who I was because I was afraid

you wouldn't want to go out with me.

Why wouldn't I want to go out with you?

As you may have noticed, my life is kind of...

Complicated. That's true.

And even though I've gotten into more trouble tonight than I have in my entire

life, I've still had a really great time.

For the most part.

Me too.

Hey, um, I got this for you back at the, uh...

At the clothing store.

Thank you.

I love this song.

Do you want to dance?

Here?

Yeah. It'd be fun.

Come on, I'll show you the thing.

Let's just stay up here all night and watch the sunrise.

What about the dance?

It's going to be over pretty soon.

Yeah, but, um, you know what?

We really have to go to that dance.

Why? We'll only make the last five minutes.

It's so beautiful up here.

It really is beautiful, but, you know, I don't show up at that dance.

What?

Well, I, uh... I sort

of made this bet.

A bet?

Kind of a bet.

It was, um, about you.

You made a bet about me.

Um, yeah, yeah.

Bet my friends $100 I'd show up at the dance with the president's daughter.

Oh.

So that's why you were so eager to get me to the dance.

I'm just some kind of trophy to show off to your friends.

I thought you went out because you liked me, Duncan.

Looks like you're going to lose your bet.

Hallie.

Hallie.

Hallie. Hallie, come on. Wait, please.

Please stop, Hallie.

It was a stupid bet. I'm sorry. It was before I got to know you.

Fancy meeting you here.

What's the matter?

You having a bad night?

You could say that.

The guy I was with ended up being a real jerk.

Yeah. The more immature they are, the more they feel they gotta prove

themselves. Tell me about it.

I thought he liked me for me, you know.

A woman like you doesn't need a boy.

She needs a man.

A man who understands her.

Give me a break.

All I'm saying is don't let this guy ruin your whole evening.

Hop on. Let me show you a real good time.

Like what?

Me and my roommates are having a little party tonight.

You can be my date.

How about it?

I'm not so sure.

Come on. Allie!

Allie!

I'd love to.

Hey.

Allie, where are you going?

Steve and I are going to a party at his house.

And I'm going to be his date.

Allie, you don't know this guy.

Don't wait up for us, Fletcher.

Ellinger, Ellinger, Ellinger, Ellinger. Ellinger, Ellinger.

who lived here?

Yeah. I know it's a little rough, but where do you see the inside?

Mr. President, ladies and gentlemen, they've just been apprehended in an

alley on 10th after a high-speed chase.

Cool. Oh, my.

Oh, that's great.

Apparently, they are also suspects in a convenience store holed up earlier this

evening. What?

Are they all right?

They're fine. I'm having them brought here immediately.

Olsen's people are going to have a field day with this. Daughter of family values

present on crime spree.

Our son's a juvenile delinquent. And our daughter is Patty Hurt.

What's that smell?

That's been here since we moved in. Don't worry, he'll get you.

Come on in.

Hey, Evo!

Who is your friend?

This is Hallie.

She's going to party with us for a while.

Now listen, if you get sick of him, you just let me know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get

out of here, man.

Come on.

Allie!

Allie!

Hello.

Oh, hi.

Sorry, obviously you're not Steve Ellinger. Is there a Steve Ellinger Jr.

here this evening?

Close the door quick, Herbert. It's one of them psychos.

Beat it.

That would be a no.

What are you doing?

I was trying to kiss you.

Look, I really like you and all, but that's moving too fast.

Okay.

Let's just dance.

These are the ones, sir.

You're sure these are the ones?

Yes, sir. Red BMW, T8D, 1016.

How's it going, Mr. P? Hey, where'd you get that car?

Hey, lighten up, man. We boosted it.

Oh, there was no one in it.

Get him out of here.

Let's go.

Hey, Mr.

P, you think we could stay in the Lincoln bedroom?

Now's not a good time.

We'll call you.

Hey, guys, can we go to the zoo in your shop on the way out?

So where are they?

Dan.

I'll get right back to you on that.

Come on, come on, faster!

Faster!

Steve, what are you doing? Stop!

What's your problem, huh?

I think you better take me home now.

Look, I'll take you home when I'm ready.

Fine, I'll walk.

Excuse me.

He's out. Shut up, man.

Where do you think you're going? Home. I'll take a bus if I have to. Look,

nobody walks out on Steve Allinger.

Oh, well, then I guess I'm nobody because that's exactly what I'm doing.

Let me go.

You be a good little girl, come back in the house, and I'll take you home later.

Steve, I need you to let me go.

Steve, stop.

I want to go home now.

Come on, Hallie. I'm here to take you home. Maybe she doesn't want to go. I do

want to go home. You shut up. Maybe she doesn't want to shut up. Look, you've

got five seconds to get out of here. One, two, five!

Duncan,

are you okay?

I'm okay, Hallie. You stay out of this, all right? I'm handling it.

Do you want some more?

Yeah, I want some more!

Duncan!

Hallie, I'm handling this. You stay up there.

Give it up, little man, before I really get angry.

You like that, Howie?

Smile!

Yeah!

Ow!

Duncan!

You idiot! You could have gotten killed! Yeah, well, we're both gonna get killed

if we don't get out of here. His friends might come out and help. Come on, we

gotta go. We gotta go. Wait, wait! Where are you going?

Oh, did...

You were right, Duncan.

If I were more careful like you, I wouldn't get into so much trouble.

Well, if you were more careful like me, you wouldn't have a life.

You just gotta be careful who you hang out with, that's all.

I guess not everybody's as nice as you.

Oh, I don't know how nice I am.

I've been trying to get you that dance all night just so I could, you know, win

a hundred bucks.

I'm sorry.

You know, I guess I...

I kind of used you.

I kind of used you, too.

I wanted to go out so badly, I'd have said yes to anybody.

But I'm really glad it was you, Duncan.

You sure you don't want me to go with you?

Yeah.

Daddy will be mad enough as it is.

Oh, hey, um... I thought, uh... You know, you might... I'd like to have this

back.

So, you think we'll ever get to see each other again?

Maybe.

I won't be the president's daughter forever, you know.

Yeah, only four more years if your father gets re-elected.

Allie, where you been? Don't worry, guys.

I'm not going anywhere.

Not anymore.

Snow White has returned to the castle.

Roger that.

Trust me, it'll happen. Watch. There you go.

See, that's too tense. You have to loosen the shoulders as a pendulum. I

don't feel tense. Go ahead.

Perfect. Well, how about...

That's not bad.

Oh, Hallie.

Oh, my God.

Where have you been?

A lot of places.

Where's Duncan?

He's on his way home.

Oh, he's home.

Just wait till I get my hands on him.

I am really sorry about tonight.

And good luck on your campaign, huh? Well, good luck on your promotion.

Yeah, after tonight I'm going to need it.

Good night, thank you. Let's go.

Good night.

Good night, Mr. P.

Night, Tracy.

Is it breakfast yet?

You, come on.

Young lady, you have cost the taxpayers nearly $50,000.

We'll handle it, Dan.

And you could have cost your father his re-election. Good night, gentlemen.

This is family business, not an affair of state.

Sir, I'm just trying... Good night.

Good night.

Well, first order of business.

Would it help if I said I'm sorry?

Wouldn't hurt.

But you're still not off the hook.

I still can't believe it.

17 years of being completely responsible and trustworthy.

I used to brag about you to my friends as a wild teenager.

Boy, oh boy, you have really made up for lost time.

Down here, sir?

Sorry.

And you are grounded indefinitely.

And your allowance?

That's gone.

Get in.

Look, Duncan, I was pretty rough on you back there, but... I've been thinking,

when you're no longer grounded, we should do some stuff together.

Maybe play a little golf?

Maybe you could teach me one of those magic tricks.

Really? Yeah.

Sure. That'd be great.

Well, that's a great jacket.

Looks new.

Expensive. Oh, it was.

You know, an emergency came up, so I did what you told me to. I charged it.

You charged it?

Well, you... Dad, look out!

You idiot!

What, you didn't see me?

You didn't see the sign?

What part of... Stop! Don't you understand?

70... 80...

Ninety-one hundred.

So what did you really do Saturday night? You chickened out.

Saturday night, uh, I had a date with the president's daughter.

Got chased all night by the Secret Service. My dad's car was stolen.

Got into a brawl at a dance club.

Put on a magic show at a biker bar. That was pretty cool.

Uh, was on television.

And, oh, right, I kicked Steve Ellinger's butt.

Any other stupid questions?

All right, you know, you don't have to tell us if you don't want to, Duncan.

I don't really care if you guys believe me or not.

You know why?

Saturday night was the night of my life.

I mean, I got to go out with a girl who was beautiful and smart and funny, and

she liked me for me.

And, oh, yeah, she thinks magic's pretty cool.

Whatever.

The election of 1920 had a lot of first-time voters.

Does anyone remember who they were?

Wake up, Duncan.

Duncan,

the Secret Service is here for you.

Now what did I do?

Boys? Nice to see you again, Duncan.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Whoa.

That's all right, gentlemen. I'll take it from here.

Hello, Mr. President.

Well, Duncan.

I must say that since you and I first met, I've been very excited.

Yeah.

Listen about that, Mr. President. I just want you to know that it was my fault.

Hallie had nothing to do with it.

She's completely innocent.

Hallie told me everything that happened Saturday night.

Everything?

Even about the boy on the motorbike.

Yeah.

Well, you know, I guess if we didn't ditch the Secret Service, then I

wouldn't have had to save her.

Yeah, but you did, didn't you?

And for that, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Well, it's my pleasure, Mr. President.

Of course, I'm never going to get to see her again, but... Oh, I'm not sure I'd

veto that idea.

Really? In fact, I'd feel fine knowing she's out with you.

Duncan, if you ever need anything, let me know, okay? Well, thank you, Mr.

President. All right, all right.

Bye.

Actually, Mr. President, um, now that you mention it, there is one little

thing you could do for me.

Charles, you'll never guess who I just got off the phone with.

Who?

The White House.

The White House?

The President.

wants me to play golf with him on Saturday, and he specifically asked that

I bring you with me.

Really?

The president?

Start working on your golf swing.

Mr. Vice President in charge of operations.

The president, Charles.

Saturday.

I wonder if the Secret Service knows my handicap.

Thank you, George.

Thank you very much.

Evening, Mr. Fletcher.

Top of the evening to you, Ron.

You must be getting used to this, Duncan.

Do you actually own another suit?

Duncan?

Hey.

Night, Dad. Night, Mom.

Night, baby. Good night.

Don't worry, Mr. President. I'll have her home by 11 o'clock.

Whenever.

You know, once this election's over, why don't we take a little family vacation?

What were you thinking, Camp David?

I was thinking Camp David.

Or Paris.

Paris. Paris.

I never thought we'd get the chance to do this again. Yeah, I know.

You know, your dad is a really cool guy for trusting us like this. Yeah.

The Cheetahs are back and ready to take Spain by storm.

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