All language subtitles for Juego de apareamiento 1998

Welcome!

I'm your host, Jonathan Morgan, and this
is The Mating Game. That's right. Sit

back and relax, because for the next 90
minutes, you're about to be tenelated,

excited, and even satisfied, if you know
what I mean.

That's right. The Mating Game is unlike
any other dating game you've ever seen,

because we here at The Mating Game,
well, you get to see what happens in

those intimate moments of a date, if you
know what I mean.

And you get to see it right here, live,
on our stage.

Plus, you as the audience, you get to
call up.

That's right. You can talk to any one of
our luscious babes or even our stud

right here.

You can call up, talk to them, ask them
some questions, get to know them, or

just tell them what exactly you want to
see as far as the nasty, if you know

what I mean.

So, tell you what, without further ado,
let us go ahead and introduce our lovely

contestants. Babe number one, born and
raised in Hollywood, California.

That's right. She loves horseback
riding, full contact nude mud wrestling.

And let us introduce us to the one and
only Timber. How are you doing today,

Timber? Hi, how are you? Good, good.

And, of course, babe number two.

She was born in West Hollywood,
California.

She's into biking, aerobics, and bungee
jumping while nude.

Let's give it up to the one and only
Charlie. How are you doing today,

Charlie? Good, how are you? Good, good.

And, of course, our last, but definitely
not the least, babe number three.

Born and raised in West.

Nope, I'm sorry. Eek! Hollywood,
California.

Guys, they're all just conjugating right
there.

That's right.

She loves snorkeling, also nude kung fu,
and giving a man anything he wants as

long as it involves a credit card and a
full shopping mall.

Let's give it up to the one and only
Santa Fe. How are you doing, Santa Fe?

Wonderful, thank you.

Okay. Well, of course, now we have three
lovely ladies. Of course, we have to

have... a gentleman who's going to ask
you some questions and hopefully get a

chance to go out with one of you ladies.

Or maybe not just go out, but definitely
get intimate with you. So you guys ready

to meet our first male contestant? Sure.

All right.

Well, here he is.

Straight from where else? Hollywood,
California.

That's right.

He's into flexing in front of a mirror,
posing for himself naked, and also

sending him love letters. Let's give it
up for J.J. Michaels.

How are you doing, J.J.? How are you
doing, Jonathan?

Good to be here.

Good, good. You're looking good. Are you
working out?

No, not at all. Okay. Or are you?

Okay. Well, anyway, J.J., you know how
the game is played. What you're going to

do is you're going to act.

one of our three lovely babes over
there, a couple of assorted questions

which you already have written down, and
of course, then from there, you're going

to pick which one of these lovely ladies
you're going to get down deep and

intimate with, okay?

All right. Okay, well, without further
ado, let's start the show. JJ, go ahead.

Okay, starting with bachelorette number
one.

If you really liked a guy and wanted to
have sex with him on the first date,

describe what it would be like.

Well, obviously, Timber doesn't have sex
on the first date. She's not that type

of girl.

Oh, wow.

So, what do you say you go ahead and do
the next question?

Okay. Let's go on to the next one. Start
with bachelor number two this time.

If you were stranded on a desert isle
and you had to choose between a

vibrator, an ever-ready man, or food,
what would you choose and why?

Ooh, good question.

A vibrator.

And why? It keeps going and going and
going. Whoa!

I heard J.J. keeps going and going and
going.

So, J.J., go ahead and ask that next
contestant.

Okay, Bachelorette number three, same
question.

What would you choose and why?

Well, the vibrator as well because I get
two and one. Like she said, it keeps

going and going and going.

Oh, there you go.

Well, just like we promote on the show,
we always love our viewers out there to

participate. So we have a caller out
there who's going to ask one of you

lovely ladies a question. I hope you
don't mind now.

Okay. Well, caller, are you there?

Gosh, I love when they do that.

Hello, caller.

Yes, hello.

Hi, who are we talking to?

This is Lee. Lee, do you have a question
for any one of our lovely babes?

Lee's just going, I just called for a
peek, so okay, what the hell is this

thing?

Come on, Lee, help us out here.

Okay.

Is there any times that you had
preferred masturbating as to

being with a man?

And which lovely babe are you asking?

Oh, let me take a look at them.

Go back to them.

That would be babe number two.

That would be Charlie, the lovely
Charlie.

Hi. Yeah, there have been.

But I wouldn't necessarily replace a man
permanently.

All right.

Okay, well, wasn't that just lovely?
Thank you so much for calling late.

Gosh, I love these live program shows.

Okay, well, she's apparently from the
control booth. The phones are just

lighting up waiting to talk to you
girls. So, caller, are you there?

Oh, gosh, I just love it. Hello, caller.

Hi. Hi, who are we talking to?

This is Tim.

Tim, do you have a question for any one
of our three lovely babes?

Yeah, girls, aren't you going to roll a
thumb out if you have to have sex with

that dork over there?

Oh, gee, Tim, getting below the belt
there.

We don't know what he looks like.

You're not going to like it, believe me.

Oh, my gosh, they're coming in with the
zing.

Let's see if he gets it up.

Why don't you come down here?

Oh, he's already been cut off.

Okay, well, let's say we go back to JJ.
He's kind of getting lonely, and he's

starting to touch himself, and I'm
getting nervous. Okay, so, JJ, do you

have any more questions for any one of
these three lovely babes?

No. No? It sounds like you've made your
selection.

I think I have. Well, it sounds like
you've made your selection. Okay, well,

without further ado, JJ Michaels, which
one of these three lovely babes would

you like to take out on a...

quote-unquote match game date, where
we'll go ahead and invite you to the

lovely mattress whereupon you'll have
sex.

All right.

I'm going to have to go with
Bachelorette No. 3. Bachelorette No. 3!

Let's give it up for Bachelorette No. 3.
Well, why don't you go ahead and take a

look at Bachelorette No. 3. This is the
woman that you'll be getting intimate

with. Bachelorette No. 3, Santa Fe, meet
J.J. Michaels.

Hello.

Well, I'll tell you what. I'm sure you
don't want to see this, because in case

you've ever seen Wild Kingdom, you've
seen already animals mating. So, why

don't you go ahead and step off to the
side.

We'll have you back here really shortly.

And Santa Fe and J.J. Michaels, they're
about to get intimate. And what better

way to get intimate with crappy 70s
music? Can we get that really bad 70s

music, please?

There it is.

And as our crew pushes our mattress
towards our loving couple, they eagerly

attack each other like a wounded gazelle
and a hyena in the Serengeti.

We'll be back, JJ.

Let's take a look at that.

There you go.

Oh!

Oh!

Take your time, have fun, enjoy this
game.

Well, so much for our crappy 70s music.

JJ, whenever you're ready, my friend.

Let's have her taste the paste.

Give her that jism baptism, my friend.

Lean back, JJ.

Pretty good day, John. All right.

Let's give it up for JJ Michaels and the
lovely and very curvaceous Santa Fe.

Okay, well, you guys were fantastic.

Oh, my gosh. Hey, do you guys mind
having a seat real quick? I got a couple

questions for you.

As they gather up their selves. Up here?
There you go. Wow, that was fantastic.

JJ, you're the man.

You were just out of control.

Yeah, Tim.

Santa Fe.

I see you kept our young stud here very
happy.

I tried.

Hey, listen, you know, the calls are
just flying in after that hot scene.

Caller, are you there?

Hello, Caller. Hello.

Hi, who are we talking to?

Dave. Dave, do you have a question here
for lovely Santa Fe or very studly JJ

Michaels? Santa Fe.

How many times did you come?

Or did you come?

Oh, I definitely came.

I'm still a bit out of breath.

How many times did you come?

Twice.

Wow. That's one more than JJ.

We have a lovely dinner for two in
Tijuana, California. That's right. You

can go there, the two of you right
there, and have a lovely $20 shopping

spree. That's right. And you can just
wash down those tequilas with the extra

$5 coupe.

pond that we give you over at Tijuana
Joe's. Okay.

Well, listen, you guys have been
fantastic.

And, of course, we do have some towels.
And for JJ, we have a hose in the back.

Okay. So nice to see you. And we hope
you guys come again soon.

Let's give it up for JJ Michaels and our
lovely Santa Fe.

Well, as you see back in our studio, we
have babe number one, which, as we

remember, was Timber. And, of course,
babe number two, which was Charlie.

And, of course, we got a newcomer. And
that newcomer is...

Let's describe her.

That's right. She was born in, you
guessed it, Hollywood, California.

And she's into guys with hairy backs and
with short names like Vinny.

Let's give it up for Wildcat. How you
doing, Wildcat?

I'm doing fine.

Gosh, look how cute you look over there.
And look, you've got that little leopard

skin, kind of like that goes with your
name, kind of Wildcat, huh?

Yeah. Now, Wildcat, you're not related
to, like, Tomcat or Wildcat, are you?

Okay, okay.

How'd you get that name, really?

I just, uh... I've always been called
cat, and I feel like I'm wild these

days, so wild cat suits me fine.

Well, there you go. That's perfect.

Well, are you guys ready? Are you three
babes ready for our next stud?

And that stud would be, that's right,
he's drove by Hollywood, California.

He's never really lived there, but he is
the one and only Joel Lawrence. That's

right. He's a regular guy. He's nothing
out of the really extreme.

And, of course, he has his own favorite
saying, which is, if I'm going to dish

out, she's going to put out. Let's give
it up for Joel Lawrence.

How you doing there, Joel?

Well, thanks.

Great, great. You look good. I like that
outfit. You look real snappy.

I'm going to buy an iron next week.

Looks like you just came out of a
suitcase.

Well, Joel, are you ready to have a date
with any one of our luscious babes over

there? Oh, I sure am.

Okay. Well, we see you go ahead and ask
one of the questions for our lovely

bench. Okay.

Bachelorette number one, if we were
camping together and you woke up with

the cheeks of your ass stuck together,
would you tell anyone?

Probably not.

I probably wouldn't tell anyone.

I'd keep it to myself.

I bet not.

When we were camping.

Bachelorette number two,

If you were a sports car, what kind of
car would you be, and would you have a

sliding cup tray?

Good question.

I think I would be a Mercedes sports
car.

They're really roomy.

Yeah,

I guess I would have a sliding cup tray.

Ah, see, she loves to have those drinks.
She likes that white stuff.

Bachelor number three, describe what
makes a really good blowjob.

Well, working the guy up when he's soft,
when he's hard.

Creamy cum everywhere, I guess.

I gotta get a pen and paper. These are
just phenomenal answers on these

questions. Uh, caller, are you there?

Hello, caller.

Hi. Hi, who are we talking to?

Mike. Mike, do you have a question for
any one of our lovely bids?

I have a comment. First of all, Joel
can't go wrong.

Yeah. Joel, you're gonna score a big
bid.

He's gonna win no matter what.

And, uh, I'd like to sleep behind
Timber.

Oh.

And that's him, since she doesn't mind
waking up with sticky cheeks.

I'd like Wildcat to give me a nice
blowjob.

Oh, Wildcat and the blowjob.

Yeah, and I'd love to lick Charlie's
asshole.

Talk about a trifecta, huh? There you
go.

Oh, Charlie, you are sweet.

I think you've had plenty of questions,
plenty of time. You've also had a chance

to hear from our callers. You kind of
know what all, kind of inside scoop

there on any one of our three babes. So,
without further ado, which one of the

lovely babes is going to be your date
tonight? Or more to the point, just have

sex with you on the cushion we have
right there.

Um, I think that I'll have to pick babe
number one. Babe number one! Oh, the

lovely giver, Mickey Butchie.

Take off that mic. You want to let go
there. And, Timber, why don't you stand

up? Why don't you meet Joel right here?
This is going to be your lovely date, or

more to the point, your sex partner for
the next 12 minutes.

And, ladies, of course, you can go ahead
and sit off to the side and let the

question mark you seat, the mating
gazelles right here. Okay.

Well, obviously, Joel knows what he
wants, and he gets right to it.

Can we get some really crappy 70s music,
please?

Elevator music, please.

Wow.

Guys,

if you step over to the side here, and
our handy crew here will go ahead and

scoot our mattress of love in.

There we go.

I'll just fondle Timber's sticky butt
right here. Okay, go ahead, Bill.

Wow.

All right, that's a great date there
Joel Well, just kick back relax and

enjoy yourself

Joel,

can you lean back for us buddy?

I don't think so buddy.

Isn't there a gong or something?

Joel,

it seems like you would like to take
this lovely lady kind of somewhere

private. Is that it? Maybe that would be
a good idea.

Okay. Well, tell you what, Joel.

Why don't you come on and get on up
there?

Well, that's the problem.

Oh, you meant get on up. Get up.

Timber, stand on up there.

Let's kill that 70s music. Get rid of
that 70s music. Please, why don't you

two have a seat over there?

I can almost tell that there was
definitely some kind of spark, one of

those private sparks.

So we definitely have a little something
for both of you guys. But before we get

to that, we definitely have a caller who
would love to talk to either one of you

two. Caller, are you there?

Yeah. Hi, who are we talking to?

Chad.

Okay, do you have a question for either
Timber or for Joel Lawrence there?

Yeah, I just want to know, first of all,
Jonathan, do you need a sidekick?

Do I need a sidekick? Gosh, God, do I
need a sidekick.

I need an extra hand. Do you think you
can give me that extra hand?

Yeah, absolutely.

You know, kind of when the girls are
getting really horny and stuff, maybe

you can kind of fluff them.

Oh, I absolutely could do that. Well,
there you go. There you go. But do you

have a question, though?

Yeah, Timber, could you bend over and
let us see your ass?

Oh, there you go.

Oh, yeah.

That's it.

Wow. Huh?

Well, thank you so much for calling.

Oh, no problem.

Well, Joel wants to sit on over there.
Yeah, there you go, Joel. I got used to

that seat.

Okay.

Get relaxed. Sit down. We got a flood of
callers here. There is definitely a

spark between you two.

Next caller, are you there?

Hello? Hi, who are we talking to?

This is Paul.

Paul, Paul, do you have a lovely
question?

A lovely question?

Do you have a question for the lovely
Timber or Joel Lawrence? It's not me.

Yeah, Timber.

I was wondering, is your pussy real wet
right now?

Mm-hmm.

Is it like dripping wet?

Of course.

How about we take a little closer look?

Well, you think you can maybe have the
viewing audience take a look? You think

we can open up your legs, take a look,
see how wet that's? Get a nice real

close-up? Yeah, get real close there,
gentlemen.

How's that?

Oh, that's pretty nice.

Uh-huh.

That's really sweet.

Ooh, that sucker is dripping wet.

Man. Like, do you ever squirt by any
chance?

Kind of stumped you, didn't it? Well,
you can push me to multiple

orgasms, yes.

So if you have multiple orgasms, then
you can squirt? Mm-hmm.

But I'm a hard pleaser, though.

Yeah, she's hard to please.

Like, what exactly does it take?

I don't know. Just a lot of sex.

A lot of sex.

A lot of sex, huh?

With one person or just a plethora of
them? It could be with one person. Oh,

okay.

I'm definitely hard for you right now,
babe.

Okay, well, let's go on to our next
caller.

Next caller, are you there?

Hello, caller.

Hello. Hello.

Hi. Hi, who are we talking to?

This is Jim. Jim, how are you doing
today?

I'm very good. Good, good. Do you have a
question for either Timber or Joel

Lawrence? I have a suggestion.

Okay. I think we should kick Joel off
the set here.

Kick Joel off the set? Oh!

I was waiting for some time to humiliate
me. I mean, I knew we could not go

through three or four without at least
one. Joel is a very romantic man. He

likes the intimacy. He likes to be alone
with his woman when he gets very

intimate. Isn't that right, Joel? Can we
ban him from the industry?

Oh, Jesus.

Listen, callers, if you're going to call
up and harass poor Joel, well, could you

make it stretch it out? I know. We have
at least ten more minutes to fill.

Oh.

I'd like to see Charlie, though,
actually.

You'd like to see Charlie? Let's bring
her back. I think she might be kind of a

tease tonight.

Well, maybe we might be able to satisfy
that. Great.

Well, I'll tell you what.

You know, the callers are just flooding
in. You know, of course, they want to

talk to Timber.

Obviously, Joel, you just sparked a
bunch of callers. I inspire a lot of

people out there, I can tell.

You're self-included, I'm sure.

I'm just sitting here in amazement.

Caller, are you there?

Hello, caller.

Yes. Hi, who are we talking to? I'm
talking to Gene from Atlanta.

Gene, how are you doing there, buddy?
Hi, how are you? Good, good. Jonathan, I

have a big admire of yours from a long
time back. I have watched a lot of your

movies, and I think a lot of you. Ah,
stop. And I wish I could be one of you.

Ah, stop.

Let me move on. Let me go to Joe and
Kimberly.

I think they've done an excellent job.

But Kimberly, I tell you, you took it
all the way from me.

I mean those nipples.

They could be stove eyes on top of a
grandma's kitchen.

I'm from Atlanta, and I mean they look
good.

You like those? I like that, but my name
is Timber, not Kimberly.

Kimberly, I'm sorry.

Timber. Timber, I'm sorry.

Timber, why don't you just show the
young man there those big, luscious

breasts. How does that look there?

They look very, very, very tempting.

Timber, yeah, just put those tits right
up into the camera. Get in there,

cameraman.

There you go. I'm on the television, but
I can't follow over it.

Oh, my gosh. I'm telling you, those
nipples, they'll poke out at night.

I'm telling you.

Woo, look at those things. Those will
cut through glass.

Oh.

Whoa. Okay, well, thank you so much for
calling.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Let's get our very horny cameraman back
off the stage.

Well, you guys were fantastic.

And like I said, you know, I can
honestly tell that there's a little bit

more private that you want to be and not
just butt on a big set.

So, in the big... You're booting us. In
the big... That's the nicest boot I ever

heard. Wait, it gets better, Joe. Oh,
man. Knee deep?

It gets better. Knee deep. Get on your
way here. Okay.

Well, we have, that's right, an
all-expense night.

To Juicy Jack's House of Love!

That's right. You're going to spend a
fun-filled evening at Juicy Jack's.

That's right. It's the only motel which
actually has adult movies playing while

the vibrating bed is going.

That's right. So maybe then you two can
get really sexy and get down right

nasty. So, I'll tell you what. We have
some towels and, of course, we have some

models that we need you to sign. And
then, of course, my assistant will give

you your prize.

Okay?

Well, thank you so much, Timber. Thank
you so much. Let's give it up for Joel

Lawrence and Timber, ladies and
gentlemen.

Joel, do you want to take some of your
garments here?

Maybe you can take it for Timber.

The belt?

The question?

Okay.

Okay, yeah, that lovely theme music.

Okay.

That's the type of theme music where you
just want to go up to a bell tower with

a semi-automatic weapon and thin out the
crowd. Okay.

Well, as you can see, we have two
luscious babes left.

And, of course, let's introduce them.

It's babe number two, the lovely
Charlie, and babe number three, the ever

-wild Wildcat. How you doing?

Round.

Quick, can we get a saucer of milk and a
scratching post? Okay.

Oh, well, you know what? You guys are
the only ones left.

He's funny.

She's sitting there, he's funny, just
don't get him near me, though.

Well, tell you what, let's get a couple
callers. Maybe they've got some

questions for you guys, because you guys
are sitting there all by yourselves.

Caller, are you there?

Yeah. Hi, who are we talking to?

This is Paul again.

Paul, how are you doing, Paul?

Good. Good, good. You enjoying the show?

Yeah. All right. Well, do you have a
question for either Charlie or Wildcat?

I've got a major crush on Charlie.
That's why I got called back.

Oh, I had to call back for Charlie,
didn't you? Thank you.

Well, do you have a question for her, or
would you just like for us to just zoom

in on her, and then you can jerk off?

Oh, that'd be great, too.

Oh, my God.

Okay, let's see. Are you open to all
three inputs?

Are you a three-input girl?

Yeah.

She says that kind of hesitantly. I'm
sorry. I'm a little shy, but yeah.

Yeah. You know who you look like?

Katie Lane.

I hear that all the time.

That's cool, though.

You know, I'm kind of stuck on the three
input thing. You think you could just

kind of, you know, for the fans out
there, I'm sure, do you think you could

just lift up your skirt and kind of just
show us?

Oh, yeah.

That's the main, that's, yeah. Okay.
There it is.

There it is.

Wow. Let's get in there. There's one,
there's two, no.

Oh, let's get in there. We didn't get in
there. We didn't get in there. Let's see

it. Come on. We didn't get a close-up.

Oh, my gosh. Look at that.

Gosh. Wow.

Oh, my God. That's pretty.

That's Charlie the human all-you-can-eat
buffet.

Have you got a fan club or somewhere?

No, I'm sorry.

I don't. Or an address?

Not yet.

Apparently Charlie's not set up yet, but
I'm sure you will be. No, I should be.

I've been in for about a year and a
half.

I'm lazy.

How many movies have you done?

About 150.

They're all with women.

All with women? No way.

When are you going to do guys?

I do occasionally.

Occasionally. In the movies?

Yeah, in the movies. Okay.

Well, thank you so much for calling,
Colin. Is there any chance I can, any

way I can write to you?

At least.

Okay. Just write to the video companies
that you've seen me in, and they'll

somehow get it to me.

Especially Brew 7 and Exquisite
Pleasures. They will definitely give it

to me.

All right.

Thanks. Sorry.

Okay.

Well, I'm sure we've got some more
callers out there that would love to

just talk to you about fan clubs.

Caller, are you there?

Yeah. Hi. Who are we talking to?

This is Kathy.

Kathy. How are you doing today?

Yeah. I've got two questions.

Go ahead. Hit. Okay. First, my boyfriend
wants to see Charlie.

What a shock.

Okay, well, cameras, zoom on in there to
Charlie.

It's not like you haven't zoomed in
there before.

And what's your other question?

Okay, I want to know if Joe's dick ever
really got hard.

Oh!

Well, actually, we have had confirmation
that it was hard.

Now,

speaking for Joel's thing, I mean,
obviously, Joel likes a woman where

there's not 15 people around him.

So, but Joel, you know, he's a stand-up
guy, and he did the best that he could

do. Okay, well, he still wants to see
them tits.

Okay. Not yours. Oh, shit. Oh, Jesus.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, hello.

Look at those.

There you go.

They're kind of stunned everywhere.

He likes them a lot.

Thank you.

Okay. Well, thank you so much for
calling.

Obviously, the calls are just flooding
in.

So please, callers, go ahead and call on
in. This is obviously the Charlie Show.

So you can call on in and ask Charlie
any question you want.

Caller, are you there?

Yes. Hi, do you have a question?

Yes, Bachelorette number two?

Don't!

Or number three?

No, number three.

Oh. Number three. That's Wildcat. Yes,
we really want to see her feet.

Her feet?

If she'd be willing to show them. Oh,
that's what she lives for. Honey, why

don't you go ahead and show us your
feet.

Keep in mind, this is a short show, so
let's get them on.

Oh,

look at that.

Oh, my gosh, they actually have five
toes.

Could she caress them? Could she caress
them?

Or maybe Charlie could.

French manicure there, too.

Gosh, look at that. And if Charlie could
show hers as well.

There you go.

Can you see it through the nylon? Could
you guys like touch feet?

Yeah, I could get touch feet. Yeah,
there you go.

My husband is enjoying this very much.
Oh, look at that, huh?

Hey, I could do that without these feet.
Okay, he just came.

He is squirting.

Is he squirting? He's squirting from
feet.

Aw, man, and we're not there.

Thank you very much. Thank you so much
for calling, caller.

Okay. Wow. That was fun.

Wasn't that neat?

Huh? We got all our callers. They're
just so interested in feet and three

inputs and whether or not Charlie has a
fan club.

Not bargain.

Okay. Well, tell you what, guys.

Unfortunately, we've run out of
bachelors.

or studs or uh chumps that we pick up
off the streets so tell you what uh we

got time to kill and well i haven't been
laid yet so what we're gonna do is

something kind of interesting here kind
of one of my fantasies what we're gonna

do is we're gonna actually have you two
girls start to make wild passionate love

to each other and then we're gonna have
the callers go ahead and call up and

they're gonna vote on which one of these
two lovely girls i'm gonna have sex with

Okay, see, I'm kind of giving, give and
take, give and take.

Okay, so without further ado, why don't
you guys go ahead and join us on the

love mattress here. All right. And we'll
go ahead and put some of that crappy 70s

music on to get you in the mood.

We're having technical difficulties
here.

Just rip it off. Here, you do yours.

God, now I don't feel bad when I can't
get them off.

They were ours and we had to get them
off.

We got them down.

I think it was Robin.

It's so worthful.

Do you think you could have a dildo?

A dildo? Well, doubling low and behold.

Oh, wow.

A woman wants a dildo. I give her
dildos. I'm a giver.

Oh, no.

Move your leg down.

Ready to come. Let's hear it.

Make it loud.

And a lovely wildcat. Oh, my gosh.

Wow, ladies, ladies, please have a seat
there.

Gosh, that was fantastic. Yeah, wildcat,
sit.

Wildcat in the middle seat.

There you go.

Okay. Yeah, let's switch it around.
Maybe we'll confuse the callers.

Gosh, ladies, that was fantastic.

There. Charlie, you were just screaming
out there. Were you, like, coming? Oh,

yeah. Wow.

That thing that you had where you were
sitting up on top and you're, whew.

I'm telling you, that was just
incredible.

You know, the callers are just flooding
in. I'm sure after seeing that, they

definitely want to talk to you, too.

Callers, are you there?

Yeah. Hi, who are we talking to?

Darren. Darren, do you have a question
for the lovely Charlie or Wildcat?

I have to say that was excellent, what I
just saw.

Was that incredible?

Oh, yes, it was.

I mean, the way that they got in those
positions, it was like, whew.

Yeah.

I think, whew, that's it all.

Yeah, that's about it.

Do you have any questions for him?

Yeah, Charlie,

I think you are very beautiful.

Could you play with your tits a little
bit?

I'm sorry?

Can you play with your tits? Yeah.

What was that? Could you have Jonathan
play with your tits? Yeah, can you have

Jonathan play with your tits?

It must be a bad signal. I thought it
was, can Charlie play with the tits?

No. Well, thank you so much for calling.

Thank you.

And keep on watching.

Do we have another caller there on the
line?

Hello, caller. Jonathan, I will tell you
that I think Wildcat was very good.

I like Charlie a little bit better.

I've never been able to get through on
this show, and I would like to request

that if Charlie is not a smoker, to wear
a pair of gloves while she's doing you,

because I think she's going to win.

And those are my two fetishes.

Okay. Since I'll probably never get
through on the show again, I'd

appreciate it if she could do that or
pretend to smoke at the end of the sex.

Thank you very much. Well, I don't
smoke, but I'll pretend just for you.

Okay. Appreciate that, Charlie. Thank
you. There you go. Big star.

Okay. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Well, there you have it. The calls are
coming in right now, as you can hear.

It's a battle between Wildcat and
Charlie. Which one is going to be the

lucky lady that's going to take the tube
of love from me?

Charlie's like, oh, God, please.

Hi, who are we talking to?

Rob. Rob, hi.

Do you have a question for Wildcat or
Charlie?

I was wondering, can I fuck the one that
you don't get to fuck?

Oh, can you fuck the one I don't get to
fuck?

Oh, gee, wow.

I think that'll have to be up to either
one of the lovely ladies, because

they're both sitting there, what the
hell is he talking about? Well, if you

were here, maybe.

Well, there you go, Charlie. If you're
not here.

Charlie was offering it. If you were
here, she would definitely take you up

on your offer.

But unfortunately, you're not here.

You should be here. You should be in our
studio audience. Then you'll get a

chance to be with Charlie.

That's for sure.

Well, thank you so much for calling.

Okay, well, ladies, gosh, you are just
fantastic.

I hope you're not just rushing out with
all those answers for those questions

that you're getting. I notice you're
just chatter-mouthing it up over there.

Caller, are you there?

Yes, I am. Hi, who are we talking to?

You're talking to Dan from Southern
California. Hey, Dan the man.

Excellent, Dan the man. So, Dan, do you
have a question for Wildcat or Charlie?

Well, first I've got to say, Charlie,
you obviously win. You're so

fantastically beautiful.

You look exactly like Fiona Apple.

Oh, thank you. It would be so wonderful
if you drew the letter D on your crotch.

It would make my millennium.

Draw the letter D.

Oh, I would.

I would if I had any pubic hair.

I'd shave it into a letter D.

Oh, man.

You know what? I just might do that.
I'll grow it out just for you and put a

D there.

Well, I didn't even mention pubic hair,
so I don't know quite what you're

talking about. Oh, you might put ink
there.

I'm so glad you didn't win with that
last guy because he was so lame. I can't

believe it. I could put it right there.

Oh. Right there. There's a spot for it.

Excellent. Thanks. Oh, man.

Nothing more exquisite than that place
on you. But only for you, Dan.

Draw D. Please draw D.

Here.

There you go.

Okay.

You win.

You win.

Well, thank you so much for calling,
Dan.

Obviously, my volume on my level is
perfect because my ear is bleeding.

No, hey, man, I held the phone away just
for your benefit.

Oh, you're a giver, Dan.

Don't hate you because you give.

Okay.

Right now there's, what do I have, a
group of guys going, that's right,

Charlie, it's Rodney.

Okay, do we have another caller?

Hello? Hello, who are we talking to?
Kelly.

Kelly, hi, do you have a question for
Charlie?

My question, or actually it's not a
question. I think what you should be

able to do is go with both of them.

You know, I mean, why leave one of them
out?

Okay, there you go.

Don't you think so?

I completely think so.

And I think that'd be great to watch.

And Charlie is just absolutely gorgeous.

Thank you.

She's phenomenal.

And that's about it.

Okay, well.

Charlie's ego will have to be pushed out
the doors of this studio as we grease up

the sides of the door. She's like,
that's right, I'm all about anabagas.

As well it should be.

I don't have an ego.

You don't have an ego?

No, I don't have an ego.

You're just one of those down-to-earth
folks, aren't you?

Well,

that's pretty good. Charlie, have a good
night.

You too, thank you. Okay, bye.

Okay, well, the results are coming in.

And apparently for Charlie, we have 52
votes.

For Wildcat, we have 54

votes for Wildcat.

Thank you. You can see Charlie going,
thank God.

Okay, well, Charlie, we have some nice
consolation prizes for you. Oh, well,

thank you. And so tell you what.

If you want to go off to the side, our
assistant will go ahead and give you

that $5 coupon for a drink at our
favorite restaurant. That's right.

It's Juicy Jack's Wild Junkyard of Fun.

Okay, so thank you very much, Charlie.
Thank you.

Everyone, let's give it up for Charlie,
ladies and gentlemen. Bye.

Okay. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye now. It was close, Charlie.
Could have gone either way. You were

very close.

Oh, come on. Come on. Bye-bye. Hey,
listen, there's five bucks out there. Go

get yourself a drink, honey, huh? You're
out of control.

Now you.

You, on the other hand, well, you've
heard those callers and stuff.

They just, uh, well, they've given you
the lucky prize of me.

Yeah.

So, what do you say we give those
viewers what they called for? Why not?

Mmm. Mmm.

oh

uh oh

Oh.

Oh.

Thank you.

You can put it on your face.

You ready?

Yeah?

Okay, put a fork in you, I'm done.

Okay, well, that was fantastic.

Sorry, I can't actually pin it onto
anything. Well, maybe, oh, okay.

Well, Wildcat, you were fantastic. Thank
you so much.

Thank you.

Gosh, thank you, callers, for voting
Wildcat. But I'll tell you what, let's

bring out all our contestants on out
there, all our babes, all our studs.

Come on out here.

Look, it's like a fire call. They're
running out of here.

Okay, yeah, just come on in. Get crowned
on up there, Joel. Find a space.

You guys kept my clothes.

Oh, well, we like that.

Well, you know what? We just got a ton
of calls that would love to talk to each

and every one of you.

Caller, are you there?

Hello, Caller.

Hello? Hi, who are we talking to?

You're talking to Denny out in Vegas.

Denny, how you doing?

Just fine.

Good. Do you have a question for any one
of our lovely babes or maybe Joel

Lawrence? Well, actually, I was calling
in to vote before you got in on Wildcat

because I wanted to see you take on
Wildcat, and you did what I wanted. I

wanted to see Wildcat suck your dick.

Ah, there you go.

Geez.

Johnny's a pretty girl, but those little
titties and long hair on Wildcat set it

off.

Wildcat, why don't you just tantalize
him and tell him exactly how old are

you? I'm 19.

Huh?

I don't think that says it all.

That says a lot.

Okay, well, not that I'm like that. Not
that there's anything wrong with that,

but anyway.

Well, gosh, do you have any questions
for any one of our other lovely babes?

Okay, apparently not. Well, you guys
were just fantastic, and I want to thank

each and every one of you. More
importantly, I'd like to thank each and

every one of you privately in my
dressing room.

But, uh...

Tell you what, what do you say you go
ahead, look at the monitor right there,

look at the camera, and what we're going
to do is we're just going to go ahead

and give a big mating game kiss to all
the guys out there and all the girls.

So, without further ado, there you go.

Wave, everyone. Wave goodbye to all
those lovely people out there.

And, of course, my lovely bing-bong.

Yeah.

Keep waving.

Okay,

stop waving.