Original subtitles

Thank you.

Oh.

I can't believe we're actually in the same room with Cameron Hunter. This is a

dream come true.

I see.

Every one of you released at least five times.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I mean, you could have any girl you wanted.

True, true. But see, I don't want just any girl.

I want you.

And you.

And them.

And them.

Hold on.

Oh, morning, Jenkins.

Morning, boss.

Bright-eyed ambition tale this morning, aren't we?

I want my drink. Okay.

You know, there's some geth up in the master bedroom.

Could you make sure that they're gone by?

Of course.

Are there any messages?

They're on the machine.

Your publicist left 400 headshots for you to autograph.

You have a 12.30 taping at Hollywood tonight, a sit-down with your accountant

at 2, haircut 3.45. You get to meet the winners of your fan club at 6, and don't

forget the screening at 8.

Okay? Is there any way I could take the day off? Oh, and Lou called wondering

where you are. Oh, shit, I forgot. Would you call him and tell him I'm... Tell

him you'll be late?

I already did.

I'll bring the car around. Don't forget your messages, okay?

I don't think so. No.

It ain't happening, baby.

How you doing, kid?

You look great.

All right.

What's up, Lou? Great news.

Mystique is doing Space Buddies 2, and they want to go with you.

No more sequels, Lou.

We'll just tell them no thanks.

I'm serious.

I want to do something else.

I want to do this.

Man is a germ?

It's an art film.

Done by some kid. He just got out of film school.

It's deep.

It's dark.

It's edgy.

There's not even dialogue for the first half hour.

Gee. That sounds great.

Doesn't it?

You're kidding me, right?

This is going to be the role where I finally get the respect I deserve.

Respect.

Let me tell you what people respect.

An actor who gets $20 million a picture.

That's what people respect.

You know how many people out there would kill to be you?

Right now, as we sit here speaking, there's probably some young schmuck out

there thinking, I wish I were Cameron Hunter.

You know, I can't get arrested in this town as an actor, and that guy's making

$20 million a picture.

It's not fair.

You know what? Let's go surfing. We'll hit the beach. I can't. I got to get a

job.

Oh, hey.

My buddy, Stu, he works at this place in Beverly Hills delivering pizzas. He

clears $300 a day in tips.

Numbers on there if you're interested.

I can't. You know I got to be available for auditions.

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you're not getting any auditions.

That's because of Cameron Hunter.

I can't get arrested in this town because I look just like him.

Why don't you go back to community theater, huh?

You used to love that stuff. Look at these trophies. It's obvious they love

you.

No Cameron Hunter there.

Yeah, what happened to your ambition?

You know, I thought you were going to be this big, famous screenwriter.

I am.

I just can't write dumb, you know? That's all they're buying these days.

You know what? Screw this.

I'm going surfing. I'm tired of talking about this crap.

You coming?

I'm going to do you some good?

No, I'm good.

Yeah, no, it's going to be good.

Yeah, no, be here early.

There's going to be a lot of people here.

The blonde?

All right.

Who's the other one? No, no, not the little, no, not the red-headed girl.

No, we've still got stuff on the walls from that one. Hey, when you get over

here, I've got to go, all right?

Hi. Hi, Karen.

Hi. What are you doing here?

Well, I was on my way to the Tokyo Shakespeare Festival, and I thought I

would just surprise you.

She did.

Come here. Come in. Hi.

Hi.

So what's going on here? Are you having a party or something?

Kind of. It's like a Friday night thing. You know, a bunch of people come over,

party. Whether I want it or not, they still come over.

You have quite the social life, don't you?

Every time I see you in the magazines, you're with this girl and that girl.

You know that's all for the presses.

You are the only girl I love.

You know that.

Then why don't you come to Oregon with me?

You know I can't do that.

Why don't you just stay here?

Oh, Hollywood isn't for me.

Besides the regional theater, they asked me to be chairman for four more years.

You want to know what's on for this season?

No. Later.

I want to know what time your flight is.

It's in a few hours.

Why? I was just thinking, you know, that really doesn't give us a lot of time.

Time for what?

Karen, don't stay away too long. I need you.

I mean, this is a great life, but it'd be so much better with you in it.

Cameron, I think things come too easy for you.

I think you need to challenge yourself.

Find something that you can work hard at.

Otherwise, all of this success is going to ruin you.

I'm going to make you proud of me.

Hey Cameron, are you sitting down?

What?

I got Kaufman up to 22.5 on Space Buddies 2.

All you got to do is humor him by reading for the role.

Great, yeah, but you know what I think?

I think that I need to get away somewhere.

Go somewhere to some cabin in the middle of nowhere.

I want to prepare for that role in Man is a Germ.

Really get into character.

I want to lose 50 pounds.

Listen, kid.

When life hands you a glass of lemonade, you don't go around asking for a lemon.

We worked hard to get you where you're at.

Don't blow it.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah.

I got pizza.

Happy boy pizza.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pizza.

Happy boy.

That's right.

gonna pay for this pizza?

Here, why don't you meet me up front, bottom of the stairs?

On the... Okay.

Oh, I don't believe this.

That's pretty fucking amazing.

Yeah.

What is this, one of those celebrity look-alike gags?

No, no. I'm just... I'm delivering pizza.

You like that job?

No.

No. Look, you know, I'm sorry if I don't ask you for an autograph or anything,

but I got a lot of deliveries to make.

Pizza comes at $22.50.

Why don't you have a slice of pizza with me?

I might have a little business proposition for you.

Let's say that you disappeared, fell off the face of the earth for like 30 days.

You think anybody would notice?

Probably not.

You know, you could help me do that.

How? You could pretend that you're me.

You could be Cameron Hunter.

I mean, that way I could get out of here, sneak away, nobody would even

know.

Do you really think that anybody would be fooled by that?

Oh, yeah.

People believe what they see.

All you have to do is just stay here.

You live it up for a while. You go to some clubs, hang out with some girls,

get your picture taken.

You could even drive my Porsche.

You have a Porsche?

Sure. I mean, I'll even give you my credit card.

And I could pay you, like... Fifty grand.

You know what?

Do you really need these?

No, I'm not.

You know, I only wear them so that I don't look like you.

That is really amazing.

Yeah, you know what? This isn't going to work. I don't think I can do it. No. Oh,

sure it will.

Fifty grand?

But you can't tell anybody.

All right? You can't tell my agents, my managers, not my assistant Jenkins.

Don't have any contact with studio people. Stay away from contracts,

commitments, anything like that.

So what do you say?

Excuse me. Oh, hey, boss.

You Jenkins?

What?

Nothing.

Rough night?

Yeah, kind of.

Jesus, what is in this? Oh, we ran out of garlic, so I used crushed red pepper.

Yeah, that gives it a kick.

Yeah. I got your message last night about canceling all your meetings for

today. Do you want me to just stick around here and field call for you?

No, no, no.

Is everything okay?

Yeah.

Listen, why don't you take the rest of the day off?

Okay, now I know something's wrong. I'm calling your internist. No, no, no,

really. I'm fine. I'm fine. It's just I just need a little time alone.

That's all. Look, I'll call you if I need you.

You're sure?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, just go enjoy your day.

Okay, I'm going to leave my cell phone on if you change your mind.

Lou called twice, and that reporter called also.

All right?

Have a fun day.

All right. Enjoy yourself.

I would like to thank all of the little people for making me the people favorite

this year.

Ever and ever.

You're not going to believe where I am.

Look, look, look.

Full entertainment system.

All right. We got all the DVDs, CDs, all that stuff right there. Stock bar. Look

at this.

Beer. Champagne.

Look, look, look, look, look. Look at that. Oh, my.

It's got two doors.

Two doors on it. Got beer in it?

It's like all of a sudden I'm a movie star.

I always wanted to be the best friend of a movie star.

All of the fun and none of the hassle.

Girls in the pool?

Yeah.

Get naked.

This is going to be so much fun.

But you're Cameron Hunter. Don't forget it.

Okay.

Cameron Hunter. Cameron Hunter, go.

All right. I got it.

Oh, hi.

Sorry to barge in, but we just have to step into the gate.

Please don't call the police.

We just so wanted to meet you.

No, that's fine. You know, it's always a pleasure meeting my public.

You like to join us?

That's funny that you say that. You know, we were just thinking about going

swimming, actually.

Bye bye.

Bye. Bye.

Bye.

Whoa, excuse me.

I'm Tim's friend.

And who is Tim?

Cameron. I mean, I'm Cameron's friend.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

What are you doing? I'm calling the police. Whoa, whoa, it's all cool, you

know.

Cameron's out by the pool. We're just having some brews.

Sorry about the casual wear. I wasn't expecting company.

You must be Jenkins.

Tell Cameron that I'm leaving these publicity clippings in his office.

All right. Do you want a beer?

Uh, no thanks.

Love that skirt.

Oh, good. This is the life, huh?

Oh, I can do this.

Oh,

good. This is nice.

Hi.

Damn it.

Ooh,

those are nasty.

What are these, imported?

Yeah, they're from Cuba.

Taking a beer. All right.

All right, all right.

Two drinks.

Fifteen bucks each.

I told him to put it on the tab.

Oh, yeah.

Is anyone famous?

Yeah, I took a leap next to Arnold.

That is big, too.

I didn't mean to look.

Isn't that so better?

That girl over there is looking at me.

That one right there?

Yeah, dude, every girl in this bar is looking at you. You're Cameron Hunter,

remember?

Hello?

You're not supposed to answer the phone.

Cameron? Hey, look, I don't have long to talk, okay? This cell phone battery is

about to die.

I just wanted to let you know that I'm staying out in the middle of nowhere in

some cabin.

And you know what?

I've even got a mosquito bite. Do you know how long it's been since I've had a

mosquito bite?

No.

Hey, that Jenkins, do I get her too?

No, no, hey, don't even go there, okay? She's all business.

You even try anything with her, she'll try to sue you for sexual harassment,

all right?

Okay.

Hey, your agent's been calling.

All right, well, don't talk to him, okay? Don't take any advice from him. If

he asks you anything, you tell him that you make your own decisions, okay?

Okay, will do. Okay, I'll talk to you later. Okay.

Hi. Can I help you?

Cameron, it's me. Lisa Stanford, Hollywood Trade Press.

We have an interview lined up.

We do?

Yeah. My editor helped me come up with 200 questions.

We're finally going to get to the bottom of Cameron Hunter.

Oh, no. No, we're not. I mean, I don't feel well.

And I've been throwing up all day. And maybe you can come back in a couple of

weeks. A couple of weeks?

Yeah. You know what? Sam can show you out.

You can do that.

Door.

Bye.

So, you're a good friend of Cameron.

Well, would you be willing to tell me what you know about Cameron?

Give me the inside scoop on the man behind the image.

It really helped me out.

I don't know.

It's my job to get close to the stars, and if that means getting close to their

friends, then I don't mind.

I'm more than willing.

Really?

Are you sure you're not interested in helping me out?

I'll make it worth your while.

Well, maybe.

Maybe I might.

So what do you know about space buddies?

Well, there was that first one, right?

Yeah.

And they've asked Cameron to... And then they're talking about a second one.

And?

I don't know.

So you're going to help me out?

Here?

Yeah.

Yeah, that's right.

Ah.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

What good gossip are you to tell me about Cameron Hunter?

Well, I told you everything I know, actually. I don't know him too well.

But you said you were going to help me out.

No, I never said that. Here. You bastard.

Wait a second. I thought you liked me.

Thanks for coming.

Get it. Thanks for coming.

I love being a movie star.

Get the phone.

I thought you weren't supposed to answer the phone.

It would be fun of being Cameron Hunter if I can't be Cameron Hunter.

Let it ring for a little bit.

Cameron Hunter.

What?

Yeah.

Hold it. Okay, give me the number.

Okay.

Okay, I'll call you back.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

That was Stephen Kaufman's office.

B. Stephen Kaufman?

Yeah. He wants me to come in tomorrow to audition for his film, Space Buddies 2.

No, he wants Cameron Hunter to go in and audition.

What's the difference?

It might be fun to see if I can fool Stephen Kaufman.

What do you think?

I think you need to get out of the pool. I need another beer. You want one? No,

no, no.

Yeah, Stephen Kaufman, please.

Space Buddies did what?

300 worldwide?

We're going to double that, you and me.

You believe that?

If you say so.

I do say so.

Listen, the effects that we got cooked up for Space Buddies 2 are going to make

it the must-see event of the summer.

I swear to you. True story.

All right, listen.

Come on. This isn't an audition.

You're Cameron Hunter.

You can do this part in your sleep.

Okay? It's from me. I just wanted to hear you read with Jennifer Parkin.

That's all.

Jennifer Parkin?

Yeah. Oh, you didn't hear?

Oh, man, you are going to love her. Sweet, sweet little girl.

This is actually probably her now.

Yeah, send Jenny in. Thank you.

It's all good, Cameron.

Hello, everybody.

Jennifer, how you doing?

Hi. Thanks for coming down.

Luke Burley, CMO.

Love your work. Love it. You should have gotten Best Actress for Torrid Heart. I

tell everybody.

That's a really sweet thing to say. Thank you. You're welcome. You know

what? Let's just jump right into it, okay? You know? Just see where we're at.

Please, have a seat.

Cameron.

You're Mark McCoy, space pirate.

Only you've taken a respectable job as a charter pilot.

Jennifer.

You're... The Federation spy with a heart of gold. Now, make me feel the

longing of the human heart. Make me feel the vastness of space.

And action.

What are you doing up here?

Starbase regulations say all passengers in back.

I'm not a passenger, remember?

I'm stowaway.

I remember.

And just as soon as we get back to Omega Command, your ass is going back.

There's a hefty reward for fugitives.

Is that all that I am to you?

Just reward money?

You and I, we're not so different, you know.

Listen, lady, or whatever you are, as far as I'm concerned, you're cargo.

Now I got a spaceship to fly.

Not for long if you don't watch out for that asteroid.

It's okay, sister. I can do this.

I've been flying these crates since before you were hatched.

You know, I'm sorry. I got to tell you, this dialogue, it's tough.

I mean, maybe he says these lines out of a

growing awareness of how cliche they sound.

Kind of adds a whole other level to work with, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um, no.

No, you know, we really don't need any more levels in this thing. It's an

action picture.

Okay? All right?

Lou, back me up here. It's action, okay? Let me just show you. In the climax

here, your character, Mark McCoy, blasts into hyperdrive.

And what does he do?

He shoots.

Right into the middle of this planet. I mean, right into it. What happens? What

happens? Of course, explosion.

The biggest, most amazing explosion ever to be seen on the big screen.

Okay?

This planet.

You've got to see what we built. This planet is unbelievable.

It explodes into a million, trillion, gazillion little pieces. And they all

look like little crystals. And the audience is going to be sitting there

going, oh, my God, look how beautiful. And, oh, it's so afraid. And I want to

look, but I can't look.

You got to see it, man. Lou, you get it. I see. You have the vision.

It's going to be brilliant.

I was just trying to figure out a way to deepen the characters a little bit.

That's all.

Yeah, absolutely.

And I am all for suggestions.

Okay. Let's just get that out in the open.

Do me a favor.

Indulge us. Do that Cameron Hunter laugh.

Just once. Please. Come on. No, no, no. Come on.

I couldn't. Come on.

Please.

I have a sore throat a little bit. It really hurts.

Oh, God, thank God.

Lou, you're scaring me here.

All right, there's plenty of time on the set for that, right?

Right.

Well, I have to go, everybody. I have a photo shoot that I am late for.

Jenny, thank you so much for coming down here, sweetie. We'll be in touch.

Thanks. It's nice to meet you.

I'll walk you out.

I'll be treating you.

So,

Mr. Hunter, please have a seat.

I am prepared to offer you the role right now.

You're kidding.

No, no, you're prepared to offer Cameron Hunter the role right now, right?

Yeah, what are you, the interpreter?

Yes, that's what I just said.

Look, I got a deal memo right here, but I'm going to need you to sign it. I need

a commitment today or the studio is going to make me go with my second

choice.

Hold on, Cameron. You have some problems with the script, remember?

Well, I won't.

No, what's this?

Yeah, well, we had some ideas that we thought might strengthen the story.

You did, huh? Yeah, and Cameron doesn't sign until you take a look at these

here.

Well,

I don't know about that.

Yeah, yeah, see, I'll sign only if you agree to hire Sam to do the rewrite.

What is it? What is it? You tag-team me? You come in here and you're just going

to lay this on me? No, you don't come into my office and tell me how to run my

picture, okay?

Hey, did you believe me?

I got you, right?

You're good. You got ball, kid. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to agree to

read a first draft.

That's it.

Stipulation. You agree to sign on today.

And I'm not trying to strong-arm you into doing this, but you know the

business.

Two weeks from now, what are you going to be saying?

I fucked up.

Don't let that happen.

Oh, okay, but can we wait until... Can we wait a few weeks to tell anybody

about it?

Absolutely.

It's a sign.

What were you thinking, dude?

What? What's wrong? I got you a screenwriting job, didn't I? Yeah, you

also committed Cameron Hunter to a movie.

Yeah, but it's Space Buddies Part II.

I'm sure that he wants to do it.

And look what Jennifer gave me.

It says, call me.

Nice. Jennifer Parker wants to go out with me.

Well, hook me up, man. You think she has a friend?

I don't know.

Well, movie star, I'm out of here. I got a script to write.

Yeah, and I got a movie star to date.

I don't know how to date a movie star, though. I don't know what to do. Where

do I take her? Well, take her someplace you feel comfortable.

Don't let her take advantage of you. You are Cameron Hunter, damn it. Look at

that.

And don't forget to laugh.

I don't laugh.

I'll see you later, man.

What a charming little place.

Whose place is this?

Oh, uh, this is where I lived when I first moved to Los Angeles.

I keep it as a way of remembering the years of struggle.

That's a wonderful idea.

Do you have any bottled water?

No. No, I'm sorry.

You know, you're more beautiful in person than you are on television.

Oh, that's so sweet.

Would you mind taking my clothes off?

And go slow, because I'm a little bit shy.

Okay.

Thank you. Here.

Yeah.

Bye.

I've now been with every actor in town who quotes as over 20 million.

That's what this was all about?

Oh, don't tell me that you're offended.

You seem to be enjoying yourself.

Okay,

let's go to the Galaxy Room. There's always a bunch of photographers right

out front, and once they see us together, we'll be on all the magazine

covers for a month.

I thought maybe we could stay in.

Go over the script, run some lines and stuff?

Please, I don't do that shit unless I'm getting paid for it.

Let's go on by him. Come on. No, no. You know, I think I'm going to stay in

tonight. Now, wait a minute, honey.

You say no to Jennifer Parkin?

She doesn't ask again.

Are you going to go?

No. Suit yourself.

Oh, no, I'll pass.

I was wondering how long it'd take you to stop pretending that you like this

stuff.

What do you mean, pretend?

Is there something you want to tell me?

What do you mean?

About the fact that Cameron Hunter hates orange juice, and he happens to be left

-handed. Hey, hey. What did you do with Cameron?

My name is Tim Bennett.

Cameron hired me to come in here for a few weeks so he could get away.

Do you believe me? Well, I wouldn't normally, but... It sounds like

something Cameron would do.

The resemblance is remarkable.

Listen,

he doesn't want anybody to know.

I promised him that I'd leave his life the same way I found it.

So nobody knows?

No. I mean, I even fooled Stephen Kaufman.

Wait, when did you talk to Stephen Kaufman?

He called me for an audition.

Okay, don't go.

Cameron doesn't want anything to do with that Space Buddies sequel.

He doesn't? No, nothing.

The best thing you can do is just stay away from Kaufman, from Lou, from

anyone. I'll cover for you.

I don't want you making any messes that he can't clean up.

Wait, here's my card.

You call me if you need anything.

And do not answer that phone.

Right.

Okay.

Cameron,

it's Lou.

Pick up. The studio tells me they've been trying to contact you all day. They

need you in wardrobe for fittings.

Hello? Cameron.

Yeah.

Don't start that nonsense again.

You want to get sued for breach? Huh? You want to be known as the biggest heel

in town?

But, Lou, I told them that you'd be there at 2. Now, can you make that?

Uh, yeah, sure.

That's my boy.

Excuse me.

What the hell are you doing in there?

Hey, honey. You want to wash my back?

No. No, you know what? This is getting out of hand. You can't just break into

somebody's house like that.

You know, you're lucky I don't call the cops.

Well, I hope they bring handcuffs.

No, I'm serious. You got to get up out of there.

Are you going to get in?

No. Oh, hello. Uh-uh.

Uh-uh. No.

Come in.

Love, Cameron.

Hello?

Sam. Sam, it's me. Listen, Cameron's old girlfriend just showed up.

What do I do?

Uh, what do you mean, what do you do?

You're not thinking of sleeping with her, are you? No, no, of course not.

No, but I don't want to blow my cover either.

Well, just stay away from her, okay?

Right, stay away from her.

for a few days, all right? So I'll see you on Thursday.

What do you mean, go out for a few days?

You know what?

I've got a lot of stuff to do. So how about I call you in like two weeks?

How about we get something to eat? I'm starving.

The Shakespeare Festival was so great.

I met these people that work for this regional theater company here in town,

and they want me to consult on their production.

And they're going to pay me.

So guess what?

I'm going to be here for a whole week.

Great.

Have you given any thought to what we talked about before?

What were we talking about?

Cameron, come on.

You don't care. I hate to say this. I've got a million things to do. Maybe you

could go stay at a hotel for a few days.

What is wrong with you?

Nothing.

I promise. You just have to trust me on this.

I don't want to stay in a hotel.

I've been in a hotel all week.

I hate hotels.

Okay, but I could arrange for you to stay with Jenkins.

What is wrong with you?

Nothing.

Everything's going to be fine in a few days.

Okay.

Let's make love first.

Oh, no, no.

No, no, no.

I mean, I've got to stay pure right now.

Yeah, I have to prepare for this really intense role.

What role?

The space buddies.

Two?

Whatever. Why don't you give me Jenkins' address?

And then I'll call you when you're making some sense.

Being a beat cop in this town is like being a pope at an orgy.

Who are you and what's with you?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining.

Sure, the pay is lousy, but the view is pretty good.

Especially when the criminals look like you.

Twenty million? You got twenty million dollars for this?

Don't worry, Chuck. Poach sister wearing a hat? What does that mean?

Just because I carry a badge doesn't mean I don't have feelings.

Wow. I was a man long before I was a cop.

What's the difference?

Life has no point.

Life has no point.

Life has no point.

This script has no point.

It's awful. It's so bad.

Don't you ever wear clothes?

Well, maybe if you called first before you just stopped by, I might have time

to put something nice on for you.

Wait, you read scripts for Cameron, right?

Do you think you could have a look at this?

Oh, God.

Don't tell me you're a screenwriter, too.

If you could just have a look, tell me what you think for Cameron.

If I have time.

Okay.

Love that blog.

Hi there.

How'd you get through the gate? I know your secret.

I know everything.

Oh.

How long did you think the two of you could keep something like this from me?

Not long, I guess.

You can invite me in, and we could talk about it.

I hope you understand that you can't write this story.

It's too big to sit on it.

Cameron Hunter agrees to Space Buddies 2.

But you can't write all the big secrets.

Yeah, but you see, it hasn't officially been decided yet.

A little bird told me you signed a deal memo.

Lisa. You can't print this story.

And what do I get for not printing it?

I don't know. What do you want?

You know what I want.

Karen! Karen!

Get out of the way!

Go get a job or something!

Don't think I'm going to drag you over. Get out of the way!

Loser!

Get a life!

Friend of yours?

You have to leave.

Now, this interview is over.

I can run the story then. No.

Please, just leave me alone.

What are you doing here?

Karen, I know this is going to sound like a bad movie, but please let me

explain. I have a better idea. Why don't I close the door and you go away?

I can't. I don't have anywhere to go to.

Come in.

You mean everything to me.

You're a better actor than I thought.

I'm serious, Karen.

Listen, that reporter wanted to write a story about me that I didn't want

written.

I tried to be nice to her, but she took it the wrong way.

I've been reading your letters.

I mean, re-reading them.

And it's amazing.

I mean, the way that you talk about acting and talk about life.

It's like I always had those feelings, but I never knew how to put words to

them.

I've never met a woman like you before.

Do you mean it?

Of course I do.

Do you think that maybe we...

Could go back to the way that we were.

We could get some dinner and talk about it.

Coming.

Well, hello there.

Jesus, naked again?

Oh, come on. I was just in the bath. I got this knot in my shoulder. I was

trying to get it. Come on in.

Um, I just came by to give you your script.

Oh, thanks.

So, uh, what'd you think?

You wrote that in a week?

Yeah. You came up with all of those character details, deepened the plot,

added all of those twists in a week.

Yeah, does it show?

It's amazing.

It's the smartest thing I've read in months.

Great. You know, I thought there might be something there, but I wasn't sure,

so I really appreciate you doing that. Oh, you're welcome.

So, uh... You know what?

I know you think I'm a hard ass.

No. No, it's okay. I don't blame you.

I take my work seriously, and I think that scares guys off sometimes.

But when I'm not at work, I can be just as playful as any girl.

I'm sure you can.

And I know that I've been less than polite to you.

So, um...

I hope you don't mind me asking, are you doing anything tonight?

You know, like I said, I was just going to work this knot out of my shoulder.

Right.

Well, um, do you need any help?

I hope you like this place. I mean, I know it's a bit Hollywood.

No, it's fine.

What are you looking at me like that for?

You're so beautiful.

I don't know if I could ever look at another girl again.

So tell me about the theater. How's it going?

No, you don't want to hear about that.

No, I do. I do. Really. Tell me.

Yeah?

Okay.

Well, this fall we have Ibsen, and I'm going to direct.

And we're planning this whole Mammoth series.

It's going to be great. I think you should come and see.

I really miss regional theater. It's the best, isn't it?

I mean, working with people who really enjoy the craft.

And watching people make that connection with the audience.

What do you know about regional theater?

Oh, I've done a lot of it. I mean, it was before I met you, though.

You never told me that.

Yeah.

Good.

uh oh

You know, we've never stayed up talking like this before.

Why are you different all of a sudden?

I think it's you.

Something about you makes me want to be better.

Cameron, that is the sweetest thing you have ever said to me.

Oh, I have to go.

If the old Cameron comes back, you still have to like him too.

Why would the old Cameron come back?

I'm just saying hypothetically that if I said something that didn't sound right

and he wanted where Cameron went and he thought... Make love to me.

You know, that wouldn't be right. I couldn't do that.

Have you ever felt anything that felt this way?

Ugh.

You have never made love to me like that before.

Was it okay?

Of course, it was wonderful.

Where did you learn that thing, the thing with your hips that you do?

Oh, oh, I just made that up.

Well, there may be a future for us after all.

It is good, isn't it? Yes.

Do you, do you love me?

I mean, more than the old Cameron?

Yes.

Would you love me if I wasn't rich and famous?

Of course I would.

On the inside, that's what counts.

You know that.

I'm going to take a shower, and then I'm going to make you some breakfast.

Jesus. Tim.

What?

You can't do this.

Do what?

Fall in love with Karen.

Maybe all this was supposed to happen.

I mean, she's unlike any girl I've ever met before.

But you made a promise to Cameron that you would leave his life the way you

found it.

How is Karen going to feel if she found out that you were some other guy that's

been misleading her?

She's not yours, Tim.

I guess you're right.

Listen, would you do me a favor?

Would you tell Karen that I had to go out of town on an emergency or

something?

Karen will be back in a few days and everything will be okay.

Then I...

I guess I'll just get back to my life.

For Lou Sperling, press 1.

If it's urgent, press 1.

Please hold while we transfer your call.

Lou,

I feel like I'm 90 here.

press today. Lisa Lucas reported that you signed with Stephen Kaufman. That's

my boy.

What? The studio's crazy about the rewrite your friend did. They're

convinced this is the role that's finally going to get you a real...

Cameron!

Lou, hey, hold on. I'll be right back.

I have not been able to stop thinking about you.

Me too.

But I thought you were going to be out of town.

I was, but I'm back now.

You know what? I got everything figured out.

But I'll tell you about it all later. Right now, I want to take you upstairs.

Glad I should, buddy.

Come on, don't tease me.

Oh,

you know what? Lou's on the phone. I'm sorry.

No, I'll be back. I'll do it.

Lou.

The party that you were talking with will be with you in a moment.

Please hold.

Chief, Lou, hey, less is more on the hold time, right?

Chief, I'm sorry. Listen, listen, I got Kaufman up at 22.5. We can't stay now.

Perfect, great. Come over in the morning, bring the contracts, we'll sign

them, all right? We'll make some money.

Cameron, are you coming back to bed?

Working now?

Okay.

Does someone want to tell me what is going on?

All right, I can explain this. Maybe I should explain things.

Well, I just want to know how... I just want to know how long this has been

going on. And which one of you have I been sleeping with?

Who is responsible for this prank?

Well, are you not going to speak?

You slept with my girlfriend? I didn't mean to.

It was her idea.

I didn't want to blow your cover.

Well, you better go up there and explain things.

I think I've done enough already.

I don't want to go up there.

Hi, Karen.

It's me.

I guess we haven't been properly introduced.

My name is Tim.

I'm sorry about what happened.

Please don't blame Cameron.

It wasn't his fault.

But I had no business doing what I did.

No, you didn't.

Well, the truth is, it's just... Well, I kind of fell in love with you.

You know, it's a pretty easy thing to do.

And you're beautiful.

Smart.

Kind.

You're wonderfully complex.

Everything I said last night was true.

That was you.

You know, I started imagining what my life could be like with a girl like you

in it.

And I liked it.

But then I realized that I didn't deserve it.

Not after lying to you the way that I did.

So I just came by to say that I was sorry.

And goodbye.

Baby, it's me.

It's the real me.

Oh, baby, you're not really mad at me, are you?

Come on. I didn't mean for you to find out.

Do you know what? I really learned something while I was gone.

You know, I know it's tough with all the fans and girls and everything, but, I

mean, we could find a way for you to fit in.

What do you say?

I say you both get out of here.

Why should I leave here a loser you know I fell in love with a man And I'm not

gonna throw that all away just because you guys pulled some stupid prank

That's right

This is the man that I belong with.

Wait a minute, baby. That's not me. I'm me.

And I'm me, Cameron.

You have to accept that we're never going to change.

What do you mean?

I don't belong here.

I'm going back to Portland.

Are you coming with me?

You want me to come?

Well, you're obviously a good actor.

The regional theater could use an actor like you.

I could use you.

Yeah, I just feel so bad about Cameron.

Well, Cameron and I have obviously outgrown each other.

I'll miss him, but...

I'll be okay.

Yeah, what about Cameron?

He'll be okay, too.

With Cameron.