Original subtitles

Filthy child.

Punition.

It's not punishment.

Well, you know, Mama.

Get out.

It's not the way to treat a child.

Well, if you don't like it, then get out.

Maria, are you ready yet?

That time of the month again.

What's wrong with her this time?

Nothing.

Just women's trouble.

Well, she won't get up to nothing then.

What's the capital of Italy?

8th and 1.

Bravo. And the president?

Baggio. Good boy. Why do you teach him such rubbish, Joe?

It's not rubbish.

He's a man.

Yes, sir.

I'd be nothing like you.

Welcome everyone to the celebration of the Immaculate Conception of the Virgin

Mary. Now, let us all join in prayer.

Wake up, Dad.

If my folks don't get the best of me.

Messing with my head.

I hope Maria is feeling better.

We just got it.

Fifty percent flush of wool.

Eighty percent, actually.

Just like my son.

Rosa is only in the next town.

Happy Immaculate Conception.

She's still sick.

Then it is not good to celebrate.

Garden, is this what it's going to be like all the holidays?

Calm down, great.

There is no one around.

What's wrong?

I

didn't

do anything.

God bless you

How many?

Come on, sleepyhead. How many?

666.

Nothing's different.

Oh, shit.

Still?

What a bloody wonder.

Why they put flies inside?

The doors were shut all night, yet they still got in.

God knows how many there are in here.

If you don't watch it, they'll spread all over you.

My poor parents.

They'd spin in their grave if they saw your face.

Look at me.

Doesn't come from my side.

Our skins are as white as the mountain snow.

Polenta eat it.

Northerners. There's probably a bit of mongrel in you you don't know about.

You're starting to sound like half the town.

Maybe it's on your side.

Bullocks!

Look.

Probably just from the sun.

I hate it more than I hate everyone around here.

Go scrub them off.

And put your hands on the bloody table before I snap them.

Know what you need?

A nice young bloke to calm you down.

I'm never getting married.

Nice doctor?

Where are you going to get him from?

Six-pack from the supermarket along with a lawyer and an astronaut.

Never you mind.

What about school?

What good school when she's pregnant?

I'm never getting pregnant.

All it's taught her so far is how to disobey me. I thought she wanted it to

do better than you.

Well, she ain't me.

Oh, it's got Vegemite on her, woman. You know I hate the bloody stuff.

Bastard.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

Spock on a tater.

Scratiati.

Pig.

Bitch. Bastard. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

You all right?

Spock on a tater.

Scratiati. Pig.

Do you live somewhere?

You'll feel better soon.

Yes.

Talk about human rights in the third world. What about kids in our backyard?

It's not easy being a girl. You spend the first part of your life not

knowing what's between your belly button and your knees, and the second half

watching babies go through it.

Don't ever get married, Mars.

Don't make that mistake.

Why are you doing that?

It's called reciting.

But non mi vedo.

Fala ancora.

Bravo.

You made all my wrinkles disappear.

Now it's you I've got one of those new phones where you can see who's ringing

up I

Just

want to tell you I know what you've been doing to my granddaughter

And I just want to tell you that you lost your say when you walked out on us,

Mama.

You don't have to put up with any of this.

There are laws against it in Australia.

If I were you, I'd be on the back.

And remember, it can never get darker than midnight.

You know what your problem is?

You think too much.

Jesus.

Bloody woman.

You keep taking everything so seriously, you're going to end up in the giggle

house.

How is the old letter?

Look, just leave it out for once, will you?

Aw, shit.

Keep still or you'll get hurt.

I'm not wearing this curtain.

This curtain happens to be what I wore on my first date with your father.

Why can't I wear something I want?

Because you'll look like a tomboy.

Then I might as well wear that.

Don't be silly.

You're just meeting the boy.

It's not what Dad thinks.

Come, Ma. Just this once.

No, it's bad luck.

Who for?

Just you.

Who's bad luck?

Look, Maria, men are all like toilet.

Either all engaged or pissed off or all full of shit.

So just be nice to him, okay?

Now.

So?

It's very... very agricultural.

Great.

A one-way mirror.

It's lovely.

Show everyone what you got.

It's beautiful.

Thank you, Magdalena. It's great.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Why don't you go in the lounge room?

Our son's going to be a doctor.

I'm going to be a lawyer.

Remember Maria?

Mars.

My name's Mars.

It's just Mars rubbish naming yourself after a chocolate bar. Isn't that what

Zia Magdalena has to say?

She's not our aunt.

It's all right, Joe.

Are you finished, Magda?

Well, I was just saying that some education is good, but too much won't

get you a husband.

As long as she knows the alphabet off by heart, that'll do, eh?

Are you his echo?

I'm going to kill you.

Why wait?

Catching flies.

Anyway, my name's Eno.

Yeah, I know.

That's what I take when I get indigestion.

Actually, my parents couldn't decide between Gino and Lena, so they set off

what was in between.

I'd say you didn't get off to a head-starting life either with your

surname.

Luppi is a very famous name in Italy.

My dad's cousin's a famous soccer player and our other roles run the Luppi olive

oil empire.

Yes, but you're not in Italy.

I think it's great how you want to be a lawyer.

The benches need more women.

I don't. I want to be Prime Minister.

And for an encore?

Do you realise what you've got in your ears?

I put them there.

Well, aren't they meant to be bloody?

Would you like something?

Listen, this is all Mum's idea, not mine.

I've already got a girlfriend back at uni.

Holding hands yet?

So, do you have any... What

the

hell? Oh, God.

I

will

not get married.

I will not get married.

I will not get married.

I will not get married.

I will not get married.

I will not get married.

I will not get married.

I shouldn't have to dress longer.

I will not get married.

I will not get married.

I will not get married.

I will not get married.

I will not get married.

I will not get married.

I think, under the circumstance, we should return your gift.

I will not get married.

It's on the table.

I will not get married.

I will not get married.

You showed me up just one too many times, Vicki.

Oh, God help me, bud.

Bud, I'm going to shoot her if she keeps going on like this.

Calm down, Joe.

It's loaded, you know.

I just have to go and get it. Well, what are you waiting for?

That's it.

That's it!

You're not in the army now, Joe. Come on, then. Put me out of my misery. Shut

up.

Joe, what are you doing?

Jesus Christ.

Go to the room.

How many times have I told you to keep it handy?

Now!

What if someone broke in? It'd be gone before I could find the bloody thing.

I don't want the children to be here.

Just do something about it before it's too late.

There.

We're in the country and this is how we live in the country.

The truth.

Whose version?

You know perfectly well.

They could have told me.

Hope this one's in the 20th century.

Name the father, son, holy spirit, man.

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been two years since my last

confession.

Two years?

Yes, Father.

That's a long time.

Well, I didn't break any of God's laws.

So, what have you done?

Haven't got all day.

Well, it's like the stimulation.

Um, the friction?

I mean, the rubbing when... Spit it out, child.

I've been unclean, Father.

Yeah, hello.

No.

No, I said Archangel for the sixth, and... Look, could you wait a tick?

Now, where were we?

Ah, yes.

Sexual self-gratification.

Father, why is it a sin?

Please, wait for your penance.

Now, for the last time...

It's Baggio's bride in the fifth.

Right. Good.

And Archangel... Yep. In the sixth.

Good. Okay.

For sexual self-gratification, your penance will be the rosary, repeated

four times together with Teniel Merit. Now, let us pray together.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will

be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and

forgive us our trespasses.

She has a tendency to experiment.

Are you sure she's not on drugs?

I'd have a thing to. It couldn't hurt.

Father, isn't gambling a sin?

with a fistful of flies the way you're going.

What the hell's that?

A fistful of nothing.

Absolutely nothing, that's what.

You can't read.

Lunch?

I'm waiting for a doctor.

Mustn't be from around here.

Hurry up or the flies will get in.

Once they're in, you can't get them out.

Are you the one who's sick?

Of course not.

For our own good.

So, what's the problem?

Nothing.

But if you like, I can think of one.

You called me here and there's nothing wrong. No, no, there is something the

matter.

Well?

She won't talk to herself.

Where? You know.

Down there.

Oh, the unmentionable.

When's the last time she had a check-up?

I can't remember.

Was it last month, last year, or a few years ago?

I think a couple of years.

Okay, well, we'll start off with a check-up.

Could you lift your top, please?

Do you have to do that?

You were the one who called me here.

I called you here to check...

Trigger

button.

Will it become abnormal if she keeps touching it?

You mean, will World War III break out because she's discovered her pleasure

palace?

I'm sure it's just a phase she's going through. Most teenagers are trying to

make sense of their God-given genitals.

Mrs. Lupe.

It's Lupe, Dr. Powers.

Sorry, as I was saying... Maybe you could prescribe something to stop her

touching it.

No.

Apart from doing something permanent, like surgical removal.

Tell me, Doctor, will it shrivel up?

I mean, if it doesn't get used.

The clitoris becomes less pronounced as you get older, but it... Still there if

you want to go hunting for it.

I suggest you lay off the corporal punishment and your daughter might feel

better.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I noticed bruises on your daughter.

Do you know how they got there?

Probably some boy.

Don't leave bruises at the side of Tasmania.

Look.

None of your business, Dr Powers.

Do you think maybe someone else is responsible?

Has it ever happened to you?

I just want to be left in peace.

And not in pieces.

And you know what my stupid husband did?

Si, Jamila did so.

He cried.

He cried and he cried for three days.

Then he got angry and he hit me. He hit me so hard I could see the writing on my

grave. Virginia Semplice dead at the age of 22 because she wasn't a virgin.

I told him I never went with anybody else.

But he didn't believe me.

Just because I didn't bleed and his prick didn't hurt me didn't mean I

wasn't a virgin.

you

You creased my tablecloth.

And I just ironed it this morning.

Watch out!

Tonight we're going to be official.

Think your hair will need reupholstering then?

Don't worry.

Dinner won't be long.

Like mother, like daughter.

Leave my mother out of it.

You should go and get checked out.

What for?

See if I've still got my trigger button.

Watching cowboy movies with your mother again, Johnny?

Nah, to see if they can find your marbles.

There's nothing wrong with the balance of my mind, Jo.

Maybe the day I got hitched there was, but it's fine now.

She says, here we go again.

Do you know, your daughter's found a trigger button and she won't let go.

I wish I'd try to find mine instead of letting you look for it.

It's been so long, you're probably near to Gregory's.

I bet you she's already bloody well pregnant.

Oh, wake up!

She's not as stupid as we were. Someone's re-asked, woman.

Maria, will you go to the car and get some jump leads so that I can restart my

sex life?

You've gone fucking mad.

I just want to see if you've still got your gnocchi.

Oh, Tom!

No, my phone breeze!

If we divorce, it'll be your fault.

But I won't give you or that mother of mine the satisfaction.

Now wash your face.

Rub my back, Mark.

You're going to get arrested with a stiff board next to you.

I've been practising for 20 years.

How are you going to make the bed, Ma?

Look, are you helping me or what?

Hurry up.

My mother always said mixed marriages don't work.

What, Ma and Fema?

Is everything a joke to you?

Northerners and Southerners are stupid.

Well, this isn't going to help.

Sometimes you have to climb the mountain to be able to look back and see the

valley.

Can I go now?

Voi che chiami qualcuno?

Pappini persi.

Pappini.

Ma, Virginia, c'è ancora tua figlia, grazie.

What? No.

What?

Nothing. The whole town will know I'm here in about 30 seconds.

Hello.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Hey, is it really you with your grandfather?

Well, I get it if I tell you.

How about a long, black coffee?

That photo.

Not real.

I got it made up when Maria was a bad egg.

Scared of unwanted customers?

Get away, the tomboy. Oh, shit.

She's turning into a kangaroo now.

By the way, thanks for the presents in the front yard.

Look, your leg's all better now.

You know, you're the Mel Gibson of all poochers.

Oh, yes, you are.

You've got love inside.

See?

What's he be?

Beautiful life.

This one's my favourite.

My dad made this.

And that one.

And that one.

How come you make names now?

You really live in your head, man, sometimes.

Yep. My body just tumbles along for the ride.

So why do you want to be 22?

Because then it'll be my turn to run my life.

You don't have to wait six years, you know.

You can do it now.

Easier said than done.

What's your girlfriend like?

Don't have one.

We split up.

She was a lot like you.

What, a freckle-faced wog?

Why are you always putting yourself down?

I didn't realise I was.

A lot of special people have freckles.

Oh, yeah?

Well, there's the Pope and, um, Mussolini and, um, Machiavelli.

Heroes of yours?

What are you doing?

Pears. What?

Twins. What are you going on about?

A fit.

Excuse me?

Couples.

Your freckles come in couples.

See? Told you it was special.

Just like cows.

Oh,

my God. Yeah!

You're gone.

Yes. Oh, my God.

Yes. Oh, my God.

Yes.

What?

Young love.

Calm down. Where is she? She'll be back soon.

Where did she get to? Where's that putana?

What's going on?

I'm going to kill you. That's what's going on. Joe, don't.

Get in the car.

Hi. Just do what you're told to do. Get in the car. Where are we going?

What did I teach you not to stand on corners?

What corner, Mum? What are you talking about?

You know very well what corner. Nothing. You told me nothing about standing on

corners. Didn't you teach you not to stand on corners? What corner?

Get in the car.

It's not possible.

What do you mean?

There's no such thing as checking to see if a girl is a virgin.

I want to see Dr. Tester.

Anthony is on leave, Mrs. Luppy.

You can come back in six weeks if you like.

It'll be too late then. Look, either she's in one piece or she ain't.

The theory that the hymen is unbroken or else the girl is not a virgin is a myth.

Most girls' hymens are naturally perforated when they're born.

Or else how would they bleed?

is what you call whole.

Please.

Her hymen is unbroken.

Her uterus full of dead blood with nowhere to go.

So what's the story? Nothing. What do you mean, nothing? Nothing. There is no

story, Ross!

What the hell, there ain't.

Our Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our

death. Amen.

Our Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our

death. Amen.

Our Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our

death. Amen.

Ha ha ha!

Why did you do that?

Why?

Why, Ma?

Because your father made me, all right.

And if he wanted me to end up here, would you have gone along with that too?

Have I missed something?

Not yet.

You're just jealous because Mum's going to make it to the Guinness Book of

Records.

Out of my way, please.

What have they ever done to you?

Nothing.

It's because of what's been done to me.

Broken in two places.

Probably trying to escape.

Dad did that last year.

And this?

You're not the only one who's suffering.

Out of my way.

The trespasser.

Then arrest me.

Why are we arguing?

We're not even married.

Right.

So whose side are you on?

Put it down.

Stop mucking around, will you?

Come on, stop it.

Tell her to stop this.

Take it off, woman.

Are you talking to me?

Don't you start up as well.

Eh?

Jesus.

I want to know what's wrong with my onion.

What are you talking about?

Stop making a fool of yourself, please.

I want you to tell me what's wrong with my onion.

Maria, talk some sense into your mother.

What if they might appeal on her?

What are people going to say?

I don't know.

Why don't we ask them?

All right, all right.

There's nothing wrong with it.

Now give it here.

You think you're tough holding that piece of metal?

You should know.

I can't believe it.

Bloody great daughter you turned out to be.

Showing me up in front of everyone.

That's if she's mine.

You think I like being the boss?

Do you?

I just don't understand what's going on.

What are you doing?

Why?

Jesus, I don't...

I just don't know what's right anymore.

Okay, okay, what is it you want?

Please tell me.

Oh, Jesus.

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

Oh, no.

Mum?

I don't want to crash hot all of a sudden.

Daddy? Daddy thinks I've done it.

Who is that?

We were going to ring, but Virginia thought it better we just show up.

I'm sure she did.

Is that Mommy?

It's your Nona, Johnny.

Your Nona.

If they don't drop a bomb on me.

If I don't wake up dead.

If my folks don't get the best of me.

Messing with my head.

Gonna have a hundred boyfriends.

I'm gonna drive a car.

Never gonna get a husband.

No chance.

I want to know what's wrong with my onion.

Vic! Where is he, alright?