Original subtitles

SURPRISE OF LOVE

- Who's in charge of the boat hire? - Me, Sir. How can I help you?

- Do you have one with a cabin? - Of course, over here.

- Is this it? - Yeah. - But this is a piece of junk.

You asked for one with a cabin.

It doesn't even have cushions.

Why do you need cushions?

I like to be comfortable, to pull out the rudder and relax.

- But I'll be controlling the rudder. - No, I will. - Then what will I do?

- Go on a break, do what you like. - I can't, Sir, it's not allowed.

For this boat you need a license.

- Otherwise I'll get in trouble. - I see...

- How much? - At least 10,000 an hour, Sir.

Marianna, be honest with your poor Aunt. How many times?

- Just once, I swear. - Oh, I don't know what to believe!

- Be quiet, you. Where? - In the booth.

- What booth? - Where you listen to the records.

You don't even have the excuse that it was under the stars.

- So, you had only just met him? - Answer her!

You didn't tell me that! It changes everything.

- What does it change? - How I judge the man.

See, a man who goes into a shop, enquires about a record...

... asks to be accompanied to the listening booth...

... and then kisses the sales girl, for me he's a smart guy.

Who cares? I'm interested in what she was thinking!

Where was I that day?

In the other booth with a lady.

- Just my luck! - Is he handsome?

- Well, yes... he's handsome. - He's handsome, too?

I was right, if he has all these qualities then you must resist!

The record was romantic!

It's all about how you act.

You'll never find a husband like this.

Romantic record, handsome man... For me she did the right thing!

She listens at doors, too? Why haven't you fired her yet?

And where will I find another? Does he ever mention marriage?

- Never. - If that's how you started out, I'm not surprised!

- We haven't done anything since. - Does he try it on often?

- He thinks of nothing else! - Really? Details, please!

Wherever he takes me, there's always a bed close by.

- He sounds organised! - Yes, but I'm tired of it.

Even Sundays are hard work.

- Then you should lie down. - Miss Didi, what do you mean?!

- I didn't mean that, Miss Carlotta... - This time I am going to lie down.

- I'm not going, I'll sleep instead. - Marianna, don't exaggerate.

You're going, you will resist, and make him show commitment.

- Miss, I could go with her... - Good idea, Miss Didi!

Go together, and make that man understand!

Mariarosa, is Mr. Gaspare's breakfast ready yet?

- Aren't you busy with Ferdinando? - Exactly.

Do you think Battista has laid a trap for you today, too?

You can count on it, he wants to take me out on a boat ride.

- Do you get seasick? - No.

- Well, today you will. - Why?

It's better if you keep him on dry land, that way you're safe.

And I can lure my Ferdinando into the trap laid for you.

- Here he is. - Who? - Him!

- What should I do now? - Stop eating and get up!

Will you bring me a coffee, please. A coffee!

If she plays her cards right, a guy like him would marry her right away.

Not too bad, is he? You can tell he's from Milan.

He has a scowl.

Miss Didi's fianc� is another thing entirely.

- He's handsome, kind, educated... - Education doesn't matter.

- Letters? - For Mr. Gaspare. - I'll give them to him.

It's from his mother, the saintly woman!

- Mariarosa, you don't know life. - Why? - Tease someone today...

... and tomorrow it will happen to you. - Not me!

- Yes? - A letter. From your mother.

Saintly woman! Thank you.

- Sorry for making you wait. - Oh, it's fine.

Did you see what a nice day it is? We'll have fun today.

- Get in. - Wait a minute...

- Let's just wait a minute. - What are we waiting for?

Would you mind giving my friend Didi a ride?

But it's late! Alright, where are we taking her?

- She's coming with us. - To the coast?

- She'll be the third wheel! - What do you mean by that?

My friend is very nice, you know.

But I organised this trip for just the two of us!

- If there's room for two, there's room for three. - I'm out of here!

- What do I have to do? - Hey, are you leaving?

- No, we were just going to move it into the shade. - Nice car!

- Ah, you haven't met Battista. - Nice to meet you.

- This is Didi? - Yes, Marianna has told me a lot about you.

- I see. Go ahead, get in. - Thank you. - You're welcome.

Darling, can we go via the Cassia Antica?

It's quicker this way, why go via the Cassia Antica?

- We have to pick up her fianc�. - What?!

- Keep it down, or they'll hear us. - I don't even know if I believe him.

- I answered the telephone myself. - What did she say?

"I must speak to Mr. Aloisi, this is Miss Didi..."

- What? - Didi!

"Will you pass him the telephone, please, it's quite urgent."

- Urgent? - Have you finished over there?

Yes?

- Good day, Professor. - Good day.

- I brought you that guide of the Palatine Hill. - I don't need it today.

- Are you going to the coast? - No, I hate the sea.

I prefer the mountains, fresh air...

... actually, I'll take my raincoat.

- Are you going alone? - No, my fianc�e is coming too.

- Then have fun. - But we're not alone.

- We're going with friends. - I hope you enjoy yourselves.

Ah, Father Maurizio, I told my friends to drop by...

... and pick me up, but I also asked them...

... to wait for me at the corner. - Very good.

I think it's better if the children don't know about...

... their teachers' private lives. - Yes, quite right.

"If DD equals BB..."

"... well done, Professor!"

- What does that mean? - Well, Didi is my fianc�e.

- And BB? - BB is just a childish joke...

- "Bertoldo Bertoldino", BB. - Ah, like "Brigitte Bardot".

Is this it?

Let's wait for him to come out.

- What's she wearing, pyjamas? - Is Didi the blonde one?

Both of them are blonde.

It must be that one!

Either way, they're both hot.

- Hi. - I told you to wait on the corner.

- What are you wearing? - Do you like it?

It's nice, but you can't ride the train like that.

What train, Ferdinando? Today my friends are giving us a ride.

Come on.

- Won't you be cold? - I have a jumper.

- Good day. - Hello. - You'll be hot wearing that.

- No, I think she'll be cold. - I hope not.

- Do you remember Marianna? - Excuse me, hello there.

- Get in. - So we're going to Terminillo?

No, to Monte Bianco!

Didi! Didi! Didi!

They're playing my records, using my petrol...

I'm paying for the boat hire, I don't understand these guys...

Stop that!

Shall we sit in the shade? What do you say?

You can stop the boat, can't you?

- It's so nice in here! - And spacious, too.

It's a shame that Marianna got seasick.

- She probably said it so that we'd leave them alone. - Why?

Why do you think?

Well, now we're alone, too.

Perhaps they think badly of us.

Do you not think they might be a little too busy for that?

Some professor you are!

I wish they could think badly of us.

But that would be impossible, right?

- Are you not happy? - Ecstatic!

Soon enough, they'll give us an award for good behaviour.

- You have nice skin. - You think so?

Especially on your feet.

What a lovely Sunday!

Don't come too close.

- Do you not like me up close? - I like you when you're still.

- Then I'll be still. - Still, and far away.

See? I'm stronger as a lover when I get the chance to act.

And with you I've never had the chance to act as I should.

But I'm still, and awaiting orders.

If you really loved me, you'd have lots to say.

Why, what do you think those two are talking about?

About their work, their marriage, the furniture they have to buy...

- You know, about their little nest. - Right, their little nest.

What do you think they plan on doing in their little nest?

They might delay the inevitable, but it's always the same. Darling...

Get off! Don't you see that you're blocking my sun?

Alright, then let's talk about our own little nest.

Let's talk about furniture, let's...

- Hey, what kind of bed do you... - Oh, you're so boring!

"I could not run or play in boyhood..."

"... for scarlet fever left my heart diseased."

"And on that afternoon in June..."

"... kissing Mary with my soul upon my lips..."

"... my soul suddenly took flight."

So, he kissed Mary anyway!

Yes, but he's also dead.

Ferdinando, can I ask you something?

- Do you like me? - What? Of course I like you.

Sometimes I have doubts.

Do you think that if I didn't like you I would be here...

... all day with you on this boat, reading 'Spoon River Anthology'?

Because reading poetry is your idea of romance?

Exactly.

Then try to be less romantic.

I don't understand. What do you mean by that?

What do you think it means? Your poetry gets on my nerves.

Real men behave differently.

Who knows what Battista would be doing by now!

Why am I telling you this? You'll never understand.

Didi?

I want to give you a kiss.

I want to give you a kiss.

Ferdinando, what are you doing? Ferdinando!

- The water is amazing! - Idiot!

- He seems nice, your Battista. - So does your Ferdinando.

You should hear him recite poetry.

I'm going to dump him.

I think I'm going to dump Battista, too.

I can never get him to talk about marriage.

I want one thing and he wants another.

We're not right for each other.

Is Ferdinando not handsome?

- He is. - But he's not right for me. And Battista is nice, too.

Yes. That is, to. Not to me.

- Don't you like him? - He's too...

Well, I like him.

Marianna, it's like this: We each have a bad pair of shoes.

And if we were to swap those shoes, I'm sure it would make life easier.

- But I really do like Battista. - But he won't marry you.

- Are you sure? - Of course.

If he won't marry me, he won't marry you either.

Don't worry about me. You want Ferdinando? You can have him.

But you have to give me Battista. Are we clear?

Did you see these jellyfish?

That's why I rented the boat, to look at jellyfish!

The woman always gets her man.

- You scoundrel! - Help, I can't swim!

- Well, why have we stopped? - Because we're out of petrol.

You organise the trip and then forget about the petrol!

Well, it's been such a lovely day... I think you know what I mean!

- What shall we do now? - Someone has to go and find petrol.

You're the one who forgot it.

- No, Ferdinando will go. - No, I'll go!

- But we can't leave him alone... - Then go with him!

With your permission, Ferdinando.

- Shall we get a drink? - Good idea.

I'd like a Coca-Cola with a straw.

- Ah, a jukebox! - Get me a Coca-Cola with a straw and a Campari Soda.

- 50 lire, please. - Here you go. - Thanks.

- What were you saying? - That I don't like commitment...

... because I'm an honest person. - Me, too.

I'm like that with clients, too. I tell them the price I expect.

Take it or leave it. And that's what I did with Marianna.

It's just that with you women...

- Well, not all of us. - Ah, I'm sure...

So you have to be hypocritical.

You have to buy a ticket for Palermo if you want to go to Switzerland.

If Marianna is telling the truth, I know what Switzerland is to you.

She calls me stupid, doesn't she?

- I've never been to Switzerland. - Really? A girl from Milan?

All I mean is that Milan is just around the corner from Chiasso.

- I love this song! - Oh, this Coca-Cola...

- Shall we dance? - No, we should get back.

No, maybe next time.

- "Speude bradeos", that's what the Latins used to say. - Meaning what?

"Make haste slowly."

Then I agree with the Latins, they say they were lazy, too.

All the better. These days people race around too much, even in love.

Tell that to Battista! That's why we always argue.

I don't understand why. For me, the most beautiful...

... thing shared between a man and a woman is companionship.

To love each other, to have faith in each other...

To feel that the other is around even when he or she isn't.

It must be nice to be loved like that.

You know, I'd never noticed how beautiful you are.

May I stroke your hair?

I thought I had wasted a whole Sunday, but then...

Do you know what I'm thinking?

Don't tell me, please. You should think about Marianna.

Exactly, I'm thinking about Marianna.

She always tells me off for organising everything.

But it's the unforeseen things that are the most wonderful.

Like this, like forgetting about the petrol.

Don't do it again, please.

- Are you suffering? - Very much.

Me too, but it's a sweet suffering.

- Can I say something? - Yes.

If you don't let go, you're going to strangle me.

Thank you! Sorry, I couldn't breath.

- That's how they dance these days. - No, that's how you dance!

- Listen... - Come on, let's go.

- Let's spin that record again. - Thanks, but my head is already spinning.

Drink up, it's late.

Just one little dance.

Come on. Those two will be tired of waiting by now.

Well?

- The ladies are back. - Really? Do they look happy?

Not really.

Come and see how handsome that Ferdinando is.

They both look nice.

Tall...

The tall man makes an impression.

For me, if they're not men if they're shorter than 5'5".

The professor is leaving alone.

Perhaps he had a fight with Miss Didi.

There's Mr. Gaspare.

Out on his usual date.

Tonight he'll try to get...

... her to come upstairs. Do you think he'll manage it?

Well, who knows?

Men do nothing but look for things that are right under their noses!

Isn't Mr. Gaspare shorter than 5'5"?

Men are all the same when they're down on one knee.

- And when they get up? - As the vicar says...

"I now pronounce you man and wife." Now go on, go and get dinner ready!

Auntie, we're back!

Good evening, Miss!

- Did he kiss you? - No, but he tried.

- No! - Yes. - That scoundrel!

- What do you care? - I was just judging the man.

- And Ferdinando? - Sublime!

- Take me home. - But, I insist...

Do you know why? Because up in my room there's a letter...

... from my mother, full of nothing but affectionate words for you.

It'll just be a moment, I promise.

I'd love to read it, but why didn't you just bring it to me?

- I forgot it. - Then go and get it. - Right.

- And leave you here, all alone? - Very well, I'll read it tomorrow.

I can see that you don't care about me or my mother.

Of course I care about you and your mother.

But if I come up to your room at this hour...

You know how things happen.

How do they happen?

Well, you know.

No. Do you know?

Well, I imagine.

Then you have an unhealthy imagination.

Gaspare Florio, son of Assunta is a gentleman!

And if Gaspare Florio says you can come upstairs, you can come upstairs!

You can make promises, but when we get upstairs... remember that film?

Yes, but I know how to control myself. Can you control yourself?

Of course.

Well, then?

Alright.

I'll wait for you here.

He managed to convince her, he's taking her to his room!

I knew it. Not many of us know how to resist such sweet-talking.

After you.

Is this your room?

Who's that?

My mother, the saintly woman.

Why are you putting it away?

- She shouldn't see this. - Shouldn't see what?

- Such filth! - Gaspare, what do you mean?

- I don't understand! - Ah, you don't?

For you, this is normal? A man, a woman, and a bed...

... that hasn't been blessed...

... by the bond of marriage...

And you think this is normal?

Should my mother be made to witness something so horrible?

- Gaspare, you begged me to come up! - What do you mean?

I played my part of the male.

And you knew that, because you're a woman.

I did it to test you.

- But I didn't want to come up! - Yet here you are!

- You kept on insisting! - You should have resisted!

A good woman shouldn't visit the bedroom of a man...

... even if he picks her up and carries her there!

- But, we're engaged. - Not anymore!

- And your mother's letter? - Never mention it again!

Leave this sacred room, right now!

You are not worthy of marrying Gaspare Florio...

... son of Assunta!

Battista, I'm doing it for you.

Of course I can come.

If you have to leave, it's best if we see each other right away.

Of course, it only takes a minute in a taxi.

- Was he there? - Yes, I have to go right now.

- Why right now? - Because he's leaving.

Could you give the boss some kind of excuse for me?

- Alright. - Bye!

- Ah, these are pretty! - Yes, our plastic samples...

- So, let's recap: We met each other on Sunday, right? - Yes.

On Monday you complained that you didn't...

... have a secretary for when you...

... leave the city. On Tuesday I offered my services...

And on Wednesday, which would be today, here I am.

- Well done! - Be good, though.

Sorry, but I didn't think you were being serious.

Don't worry, it's so hot in here. If I may, I'll take my top...

... off as well. - By all means.

When it concerns work, I'm always being serious. May I?

- Please. - What a mess this table is!

- This post still has to be dealt with, right? - Yes.

- And the notes for answering? - Answer them all like this...

"Since we are still waiting for our new branch in Rome to open..."

Okay, I'll use this as a model. Have you taken down the orders?

- Yes. - Good. - What did you tell your boss?

I asked for a few hours off.

- Listen... - Go ahead, Sir. - No, there's no need to write.

Didi, why the extra work?

- Well, I thought that was obvious. - Ah, yes...

That's true.

To earn more money.

- Is that all? - Of course.

- Why else? - See, I understand the subtleties of women...

... better than anyone... - Let's be clear on this, Mr. Crispi.

Work is one thing, friendship is another.

I hate to confuse the two.

Yes, but you can mix business with pleasure.

Are you not engaged to Marianna?

Well, engaged is a big word...

Well, she doesn't think so.

Who, Marianna?

If you'd like my collaboration...

... you must forget that I'm a woman.

- Well, that might be difficult. - Such a shame. Good day, Mr. Crispi.

No, come here! There has been a huge misunderstanding, I swear...

All I meant is that I admire serious women, women like you.

Are you telling the truth?

Of course, look in my eyes.

- Didn't you have to leave? - Yes, but not until 10 to 6.

Then it's late, you should hurry. Go and pack your suitcase.

Not like that, let me show you.

- I know, I always forget something. - That's because you have no system.

- You must always start at the bottom - Which is? - Shoes.

Shoes, shoes...

Not bad, this suitcase.

Thanks, I bought from Valstar in Milan, it didn't even cost that much.

- Socks. - Socks, here they are.

- How will I ever repay you? - Don't worry about that.

You can pay me for what I do.

Will you do me a favour? Since you're going to Milan, will you buy me...

... a suitcase, too? The same as this one, same colour...

You can take it out of my pay.

You know, I had a dream about your mother, she was ill in bed.

And with tears in her eyes she said to you "Decide, my son..."

I had a dream about her, too. She was quite healthy.

And she said to me: "Think well, my son..."

Mariarosa, what's for dinner this evening?

Maccheroni alla chitarra.

Would you like to see what the cards tell us?

- Later. - Mr. Gaspare already knows what the cards say.

Professor!

Come here.

I want to show you something.

- Do you recognise this? - Of course, it's a chitarra.

- As a child, I thought it was a musical instrument. - Me, too.

Then I learned to make pasta.

- I brought it from my village. - Ah, good for you.

Yes...

Because I'm from Carpineto.

I go back to the village every year for the Saint Zopito celebration.

- What village? - Carpineto!

- You're from Carpineto degli Abruzzi? - Yes.

- Me, too! - I knew it.

Who told you that?

I knew it.

When I go back to the village for the celebration, will you come with me?

- Yes, I'll come. - Do you promise?

- Yes, I'd already decided to go. - Thank you.

Who ironed your shirt, a nun?

Why, is it badly ironed?

It doesn't matter what you tell him, I'm not here and that's that!

So he says to you: "That's a shame..."

"... we were supposed to go tonight, I bought the tickets and everything..."

He looks at you, you laugh... Then the idea comes to him...

... and he says: "Listen, Marianna..." always composed and polite...

"... why don't you come to the concert with me this evening?"

- And I accept. - No! Are you listening to me?

You have to tell him that you can't, that you have toothache or something.

- That way he asks and begs and you... - Accept?

You accept.

They're fine, I came to the city to find myself a husband.

- And did you find him? - Yes.

But he doesn't know yet.

Then how can you be so sure that you'll marry him?

The woman always gets her man.

Here are the ladies.

Mariarosa, is the professor here yet?

Yes.

Didi has stayed behind for stocktaking, she won't be back until midnight.

- Thank you, good evening, goodbye. - You're leaving?

Yes, because I'd already bought tickets for the young lady and I...

... to go to the concert. - Really?

Yes, but if she's not here...

Well...

Perhaps you could come instead of her, to the concert...

Actually, I... I have a bit of toothache.

Good evening, goodbye.

Thank you, excuse me.

Thank you, goodbye, good evening. Excuse me.

"Loving you..."

Hey, Roma!

- Mimma, what are you doing here? - This is my office. Have a seat.

No thanks, I'm going home to bed. I've got a headache.

- It's not going well with your fianc�e? - No.

No, it's the same old story.

She's one of those that you have to marry first.

I'll never understand that.

It's like going into a caf� and asking for a coffee.

And they tell you: "You can buy the whole shop or nothing!"

Precisely, they take advantage.

"Loving you..."

Well, are you coming?

- Good evening, Mr. Crispi. - Good evening, Carletto.

Want to play dice for a coffee?

No, I'll buy you one because I need to ask you a favour.

Evening Tonino, two coffees.

No, a coffee and a chamomile. Coffee only makes him anxious.

And the dice, please.

- For me or for you? - For you.

Did you see that suitcase? Never mind, I'll show you later.

I need you to go to Valstar and buy another one for me.

It costs something like 20,000 lire, it's a present for someone...

Tomorrow I'll be too busy.

And then tomorrow night I'm going back to Rome.

- For me you're making a mistake. - Why?

I can understanding buying one for your wife, you know...

... but not for your fianc�e, that's just not smart.

- See, that's where you're mistaken. - Why?

It's not for my fianc�e, it's for her friend.

Roll. She's really hot...

She danced with me already, and when one dances with me...

... she's almost mine. - You're a bad one alright.

Look who's talking!

You don't touch the friend, or even the friend of the friend.

You can do a lot of stuff, but that's just a no-no.

- Well, I like her. - You'll get in trouble. - Why?

Because the hot one will tell your fianc�e right away.

- Why would she go with you anyway? - You women tell each other everything?

The little boy, I thought you knew women!

Half of it is just the idea of playing tricks on someone.

Roll.

No.

Don't bother with the suitcase, I'll tell her I couldn't find one.

Good night, Father. Good night, Professor.

Good night.

- Did you have fun at the concert? - Yes.

- And did you go alone? - Yes, alone.

Speaking frankly...

... you, who knows so much about the human soul...

I don't delude myself, you know. It's an abyss.

Right, it's an abyss.

What would you say about a man, in love with a girl...

... very much in love, however...

However, are we allowing castling?

Of course, go ahead.

What was I saying?

- However. - Right, however...

... however, he feels the impulse, the desire for another woman?

Common.

Very common, yes.

And it's wrong, of course.

It depends, from case to case.

- Your queen is in check. - Where?

My bishop, here.

In the case I'm speaking of...

... the second girl is the best friend of the first.

- Very common. - Oh, really?

Well, she's always there, in front of his eyes.

And it's wrong, of course.

It depends.

From case to case.

In this case, always speaking frankly...

... the second girl is engaged, too.

Therefore, the sinner would be desiring the woman of another.

If the girl is just engaged, she doesn't belong to anyone.

- No? - No, an engagement is not a sacred bond, it's a promise...

It's an act of faith...

It's not possession, you see.

The girl in question...

... does not belong to another, by law.

It's your turn.

Yes, now it's my turn.

I mean, if one day it's my turn...

... I'll be sure to behave with honesty.

Of course.

But once your conscience has been put at rest...

... you must remember that marriage is for life...

... that your choice must be a wise one.

Therefore, hesitation is understandable.

I'd even say expected.

- Hello. - Hello.

I'm sorry, Didi isn't here.

I know, I didn't come for...

Would you like to come to the concert with me this evening?

Yes, I'll come!

Really? Thank you. Then I'll drop by and pick you up.

Alright, then I'll be waiting. Does 9 o'clock sound okay?

- Yes, thank you. - Excuse me. - Okay.

Ah, excuse me.

Forgive me for last night?

- There's nothing to forgive. - Thank you.

"... it's about two girls that have finally..."

"... realised their dream for a long journey..."

The post, come on!

Here. And these gloves belong to the young lady.

- What young lady? - You know, your secretary.

- Ah, she came back? - Yes, half an hour every day.

Last time she left her gloves.

In fact, she'll probably be here soon enough.

What does that mean?

She might be here soon, she might not.

- And who sent me these? - Your secretary.

- Then she wants me! What would you do, Ruggero? - Nothing.

- Not me... - That gentleman is still waiting for you.

- When did you tell me that? - Now.

- Then see him through, it must be a client. Where is he? - Through there.

- May I help you? Ah, Professor! - I'm here to talk to you.

- I was just leaving, shall we get a something to drink? - No.

- Better not, it's personal. - Personal? - Yes.

And it can't be delayed any longer. May I?

Of course.

Is it something serious?

- It is. May I? - Please.

The human soul is an abyss.

- Would you agree with that? - Yes, a pleasurable abyss.

And when this abyss is thrown open in front of us...

... there is no other way out but honesty.

To say everything and be honest.

That depends from case to case. In business for example, it's best not to be too honest.

But in love, the more honest you are...

As I was saying, in my case...

... it's about love.

- For example... - As you wish, but it's late...

... can we do this another time? - No, I want to be honest.

I want to be as honest as possible with you.

Do you see how I'm dressed?

Does this suit not tell you anything?

Well, you must be in mourning.

No, I'm going to a concert.

Then you should get going, you don't want to be late.

Let's get to the point.

Who do you think I'm going to the concert with tonight?

- I don't know, with Didi? - Exactly. No.

No.

Let's assume I'm going with Marianna, instead.

Didi might be upset.

This is nothing to do with Didi! What would you say...

... if I started going out with your Marianna?

- Why don't you sit down? - I'd prefer to stand up.

Ruggero! If it's for me, send her... send him through to the other room!

Appearances can be deceptive.

Right, I'm shy but if someone makes me angry...

So, what would you do if I started seeing your Marianna?

I don't know, but leave these alone because they're samples.

He probably won't find out.

- And what if I tell him? - May I? Then you'd be an idiot.

No, I'd be honest! This is why I need a precise answer.

Would you think me a scoundrel?

That depends, from case to case. Sometimes there are other factors.

The behaviour of the woman, for example.

Doesn't that seem too easy?

No. In love, I'm for the saying: "Live and let live."

Today you let me live, tomorrow I let you live.

Why dramatize things?

Perhaps I'm too provincial.

You city people are much more open-minded.

But, if this is your opinion...

I understand what you're saying.

And don't worry, because with me you have nothing to fear.

That's very sporting of you, thank you.

You may be provincial, but today you have behaved tactfully.

You gave me a lesson, well done. Thank you.

- Thanks very much. - You're welcome.

Thanks again.

Ruggero, did you see that gentleman?

- No, Sir. I was sleeping. - The gentleman you sent through...

... he is not to come in here again. Not him, or the young lady.

- But if he comes, I can't... - He won't!

What are you doing here? Mind your own business.

- Hello? - It's me, hello.

I went there every day, you know.

- I hope it made a difference. - Yes, I saw everything.

Even the flowers, thank you.

You're welcome, it's my job. I was just coming there, actually.

I didn't go to the shop today so that I'd be free for you.

Speaking of work, I can't do what you're asking of me.

No, I'm not a gentleman, I'm a scoundrel.

No, I'm being honest with you.

But I can look after myself.

Ferdinando? That's impossible. How can that be?

He doesn't understand anything, how come he gets it now?

And I can't talk about it here. I'm coming there, wait for me.

Of course I'm ready.

Hello? Did you get me that suitcase?

Ah, I see. Okay, bye.

Didi!

- What are you doing here? - Where are you going?

- On an errand. - For the shop?

- No, for me. - Then I'll come with you. I have to speak to you, right away.

- You can tell me tomorrow. - No.

- Something might happen, and since honesty is... - I'm in a hurry!

- Shall I start the meter? - No! You have to listen to me.

Ferdinando, I'm fed up.

- Then I'll start the meter. - No! - But you're holding the door open!

Then I'll close it!

What are you fed up with?

Do you want me to tell you here?

Tell him, that way we can go.

Quiet, you!

- Tell me. - I'm fed up because you've disappointed me.

- That's right, you heard me! - Get a load of that!

You wouldn't think it to look at him.

Perhaps you're testing me to see if I'm an honest person...

Honest? You're annoying, dull, irritating, dallying...

- You're nothing but... - Spineless! - That's right!

Cabbie!

I'm going to buy milk!

Didn't you buy it already?

Yes, but it's all gone!

- What will it be? - A double cognac.

Evening, Professor.

- Evening, Professor. - Hi, Mariarosa.

- Are you going to buy milk? - Yes.

Actually, we didn't need any.

I saw you from the window.

Professor, I need a favour.

- Sure, if I can. - Of course you can.

I need help writing a letter.

- To your boyfriend? - No, to my mother.

Once I'm done with this, I'll write it for you.

No, it's urgent.

What do you have to tell her?

Everything, that I'm well...

- And it's urgent? - Health is the most important thing!

Okay, but I have nothing here to write with.

- I'll be going across the road soon enough. - I have everything.

You don't know how to write? Not good.

It's our pretty Easter parade. Do you remember it?

I've missed the village ever since I was doing my degree.

- I don't have anyone left. - Me neither.

Really?

- What about your mother? - Well, she lives somewhere else.

- Listen, Mariarosa... - Yes?

If you like, I can teach you...

... that way you can write it all rather than just the signature.

You're just how I imagined, kind and affectionate.

Well, teaching is my job.

- This is for you. - For me?

- Yes. - What is it? - Open it.

- How wonderful! - It's from our village. - I know.

Thank you.

- Waiter, another cognac! - But you've already had two!

And this will make three.

- Mariarosa? - Yes? - Have you ever been engaged?

- No, never. - Never mind, then.

But I did go out with a guy back in the village.

Really? What did he say, what did he do?

Oh, I'll only get embarrassed.

It's to help me, you see. I'm confused about everything.

Before I was in love with Didi.

Now I think I'm in love with Marianna instead.

And I don't know how to behave around women.

I've never known.

So what do men do? How do they behave?

- They're all the same. - How do you mean?

Every so often they reach out a hand and we give them a slap.

Hard?

Very hard.

Mariarosa, have you never met anyone different?

Someone like me, that instead reaching a hand out...

... as you said, likes to read poetry to you instead.

He got a slap, too.

Slaps for poetry, too?

For all the lies in it.

See, that day has now arrived for me. The day of the slaps.

I want them to slap me from both sides.

Another cognac, a double!

Have fun, Professor.

Bye.

I have your gloves here. Ferdinando almost found them.

Oh, we wouldn't want that! Afraid, are you?

No, but I hate complications.

It's the first time I act like a gentleman and I offend someone?

I'm not offended because you're acting like a gentleman...

... but because you thought you didn't have to with me!

- You think you're all that! - Me?

There we go.

That's it.

- Oh, it's you. - Good evening, Miss.

Good evening, Darling. Good evening.

- Well, please excuse me. - Of course.

- Is Marianna home? - No. - May I wait for her here?

- I'd like to invite her to dinner. - Please, sit down. - Thank you.

"You're a female..."

"You're top of the charts..."

"Female..."

"You're the Queen of Hearts..."

- Good evening, Sir. - Good evening.

"Happy birthday to you..."

"Happy birth..."

Please excuse me, I thought you were someone else.

- It's not Marianna's birthday, is it? - No.

- But... - It's for someone that means an awful lot to me.

- A lady friend. - A lady friend that likes to wear ties, I see.

You've discovered my secret. Then you can help me.

As a man, tell me, have I chosen well?

- Well, a polka dot tie... - What? No good?

- Is it for Mr. Gaspare? - Now you know everything!

This cake is a bit excessive...

The Italian champagne... The yellow roses...

- But... - But for Gaspare it'll be fine.

- Do you think so? - Yes.

Then tell me, you who are a man from the North...

- Give me some advice. - Some advice?

What do you want to be for this man? Motherly or seductive?

- Well, a wife. - This comes later.

First, the seduction, and for seduction you need atmosphere.

Here there is none.

Therefore, we need darkness. Let's close this.

Turn this off. How do you turn this off?

Over here.

- It's him! - Calm down! - The candles, quick!

I'm here to help.

- Is Miss Marianna home? - Marianna or Didi?

- Marianna. - No.

- I'll wait for her here. - Go ahead.

Who's that?

The Professor.

I'm not here!

- But, why? - Because I'm not, quick...

He will come in from over there, see the dessert, and you can be...

- Over here. - What a lovely surprise!

You sit over here in a simple pose. Let's turn this on.

- Put your knees up here. - What are you trying to do?

- Do you want some advice or not? - Yes, but not this. I'm ashamed.

- Let me finish. - Please, no...

- I'm embarrassed. - Then I'm out of here!

No, please, don't leave me. Do what you need to do.

Then put your knees like this.

No, but please...

- That's it. Cigarette. - But I've never smoked before.

Then learn. Long, voluptuous drags.

- Evening, were you waiting for me? - Yes.

Sorry, I'm a bit late. Let me just get changed.

Looking for the bathroom? It's the other door.

No, I'm looking for you. Tonight we're not going to the concert.

- Then where are we going? - Dancing, to have fun.

But Brahms was playing. Didn't you like Brahms?

Brahms? He's spineless, too.

No! We're going to listen to exciting music, instead.

- Professor, what's wrong? - Seem different, do I?

Well I am, but this is nothing. Come on, get changed.

Then leave the room, please.

- And what if I don't? - Then I can't get changed.

Ah, okay.

Professor, get out!

Why? I like you and I want to start seeing you.

Come on, stop imitating Battista.

Why not?! I'm a man, just like him!

Professor, do you care about our friendship?

Yes.

Then don't make me angry, get out right now.

I feel that if I go out I'll look foolish.

Alright, then stay. But turn around.

- Come on! - Very well.

I know I can trust you.

What if I turn around and kiss you, instead?

- I know you're not the type. - Why not?

Well, because...

You're the kind of man that is incapable of certain things.

Oh, really? Then I'm going to turn around now, at the best part.

Very well, turn around. The best part is already over.

Will you zip me up, please?

- Yes. - Don't catch my skin. - No.

Thank you.

If I gave you a kiss, what would you do?

I'd give you a slap.

- Hard? - Very hard.

You scoundrel!

Don't pretend! I could see that you were enjoying it.

- No, we were in agreement. - On what?

- That you would give me a slap. - Well, your slap came...

... later than expected. - Didi, why do you say that?

He almost killed me, you know!

- Jumping a friend of mine, you should be ashamed! - It's all your fault.

- Why? - You called me spineless, I wanted to show...

... that it wasn't true. - Then show me, not her!

And you, who loved poets!

- I still do! - I can see that!

- Can I get up? - Yes, and you can get out!

- Get out of this house! - No.

- First I have to tell you that I didn't want to! - She didn't.

At least you admit it!

You must be drunk!

Doing such a thing!

May I come in?

- Am I intruding? - No, please come in.

Sorry, I thought I heard Marianna's voice in here.

Yes, come in. There's nothing to hide, anyway.

Is it not true that you and I made an agreement that...

... you would let me... - Let you what?

- I found them on the floor, kissing. - Who?

May I? These two!

But I was outside waiting for you!

I didn't know anything! He assaulted me!

- Explain yourself! - But you said that in love you were for the...

... saying: "Live and let live". - I meant in general!

No, you were quite specific. You told me that it wouldn't...

... matter to you if I started going out with Marianna.

- What are you saying? - You're a scoundrel, too!

- What?! - I've already been slapped twice.

Who cares?! You told me that it wouldn't...

... matter to you if Didi and I... Is that not the truth?

Yes, because you told me that it wouldn't matter to you...

... if I started seeing Marianna. - They want to swap women!

What?

Scoundrels, get out of here! I never want to see you again!

Of course I'm going, what do I want with a woman that...

... kisses everyone in sight but never gives me anything?

- Get out! - You can get out, too.

- Hypocrite! - Yeah, yeah...

- Thanks for that. - I'm so sorry.

No, I'm thanking you! I was fed up with Marianna.

And when a woman gives me a slap, it's over anyway.

- So, I'm dumping her. - So, should I dump...

... her, too? - Do what you like.

I don't want to lose Didi.

You should have thought of that. Why did you kiss Marianna?

I don't know. I never know what to do.

Well, you've certainly outdone yourself this time.

- Though to be honest, I really wasn't expecting that. - What?

Two women at once, of course! It seems I've met my match.

But I have to make up with Didi. If she gave me a slap...

... it means she still loves me. - See, for me slaps mean...

... something different.

- Marianna, come here. - What is it?

See where they're going?

The caf�.

Exactly, and from there they will call us to apologise.

- Are you sure they'll call us? - Our friend here doesn't know...

... much about men. Isn't that right, Filippo?

The most important thing now is to not give in to them.

- What do you mean? - So, you don't answer...

... the first phone call. For the second, you insult them.

And the third, you start to...

... surrender, so as to give...

... them some encouragement.

- Do you think? - Mariarosa, what are you doing?

Nothing.

What about the swap?

No, it's better to forget about it. I've changed my mind, it's dishonest.

And anyway, they are the ones that wanted to swap us!

A token for the pay-phone, please.

It's all my fault, anyway. I feel guilty enough as it is...

- Do you realise that... - No. Let's call them.

- No, I'll never call first. - No, I'll call first.

- I'll ask for Marianna and then pass you the phone. - No!

Don't be like this. You'll feel better for it.

The men should always take the first step, you know.

Can I have an ice cream? Put it on my tab, yeah?

You care for Marianna like...

... I care for Didi. I'm calling them.

One token won't be enough.

- Why not? - Because you'll have to call at least 3 times.

Another litre of milk.

For the first they won't answer, the second they won't listen...

... and the third they'll give in. - Are you their confidante?

- Yes. - When they told you, do you think they were serious?

Very serious. Evening.

Did you not hear her? We're not going to call them.

We're going outside and they can go to hell.

They think they're all that!

But, what about the token?

Throw it away, that way we don't get tempted.

You know all about men, right?

Look at that. See how they're calling us?

And you call them men?

They're becoming way too friendly.

Look!

He's going to call me.

What makes you think he's going to call you?

- What are you doing? At least wait for it to ring! - Right.

Hello? No, it's Marianna. Here.

Hello? And you even have the courage to call me?

I'm down here and afraid. Afraid of... of everything.

I'd have never expected something like that form you.

But I did what I did because I was afraid.

Afraid that I wouldn't... Wouldn't find the courage...

The courage to... Wouldn't find the courage to...

To forget that I was afraid.

Come down, let me explain everything.

I have to talk to you, to explain things.

Things that I can't tell you over the telephone. Come down, please.

I love you so much.

What was that?

I love you so much.

- I love you so much. - What?

I love you so much! Hearing problems, you see...

- Come down. - I don't know if I will.

- Maybe, maybe not. - I'm waiting for you.

Wait, if you want to.

"You're a female..."

"You're the Queen of Hearts..."

Are you going down?

I could, since he wouldn't even dare jump me now.

But I won't.

Excuse me.

May I?

Just a moment, I'd like to make another telephone call.

Thank you. Excuse me, can I have another token, please?

- Be quick about it, please. - Yes, I won't be a minute.

Thanks.

Hello?

No, it's still Marianna.

It's for you.

Couldn't you have told him that I'm not here?

Hello, who is it?

Ah, it's you. What do you want?

Won't be a minute. Well, are you coming down?

I don't know. Maybe, maybe not.

But I've been waiting for 4 hours.

No, they're closing up.

Alright, I'll wait. Outside. I'll wait outside.

Very well. Yes, I'm waiting.

- Excuse me. - Good evening.

- Good evening. - Good evening.

Didi! Didi, wake up!

Oh, God! What's wrong? Are you sick?

Did you not go down?

You wake me up for this?

You can't make him wait, he's probably still there.

You don't know men, he'll be in bed snoring by now. Go to sleep!

No, he's not the type. I'm sure he's still there.

Alright, go and see.

If he's still there, I'll go down and forgive him for everything.

Is he there?

No, he's gone.

Marianna, I still have to teach you so much.

Professor!

Oh, Mariarosa...

No, not Coca-Cola in the morning!

There's warm coffee inside. I put sugar in, too.

Drink it like that, from the bottle.

Cold at night, isn't it?

- The things we do for love, eh? - Actually, it was already made.

- I just had to warm it up. - And it was all for nothing.

- She didn't even come down. - But I tried to tell you...

... she wasn't coming down. I spent an hour up there with my handkerchief.

All those signals? I couldn't understand.

And besides, I deserve it.

When someone is lucky enough to get a girl like Didi...

Lucky you!

- Perhaps we're different... - Lucky you!

See, Didi is the complete girl.

Well, she can't cook, but...

She can't even boil an egg.

And she's never ironed as much as a tie.

Well, you know, for a man like me...

... a cultured woman.... - Oh, yes!

She must be educated.

She must know everything.

That's why I've never seen her with a book in hand.

What could she read? She knows everything. I have to go to Mass.

- Mass? - It's 7 o'clock.

7 o'clock? I have to get back to the school.

- Professor! - Yes? - From tomorrow...

... I'll wash and iron your shirts. - Very well. Bye.

And thanks for the coffee!

"My love, last night our three cows gave birth..."

Hello? No, she's not here.

Goodbye.

Who was that?

No one.

"I don't know, but in my dreams..."

Hey there, good to hear from you! How are you?

Thank God I found you.

I'm here in Rome, on business, as you say...

I have to see you. I can't tell you over the phone.

- I have to see you in person. - Alright, but hurry up.

I'm waiting for you, bye.

- Hello? - Hello, is Mr. Crispi there?

Hi, it's me.

You're never home these days.

Yes, I know... But you never called me.

Because I couldn't, I've had things to do. So, what is it?

You should know.

Anyway, I...

What have I done to you?

Yes, I'm sorry. I...

Don't say that!

Well, I didn't come up to your room because...

Because...

Well, do you want to marry an honest girl or a whor...

What? What are you saying?

Are you crazy?!

What was that?

I've never heard such filthy words!

What do you mean by that?

Well, I know them because...

You're a coward! You're a materialist!

You're a despicable being! But now it's over, understand?

This time it's over! It's over!

Don't take it so hard, Miss Marianna. May I?

If beg your pardon. It breaks my heart to see virtue so punished.

- But don't despair. - Did you hear what a disgusting materialist he is?

Exactly, but I say to you: "Virtue will always..."

"... be rewarded in the end." Look at me, Miss.

Why are all men only interested in the same thing?

Miss, does my smile not tell you anything?

Cirillino, when I'm an old spinster with no one left...

... promise we'll get married. - Cirillino?!

This is Gaspare Florio, son of Assunta you're talking to!

- What do you want? - Most of the time...

... I have to prove my honesty. But with you, I don't need to.

- Why? - Because you, Miss, after that telephone call I heard...

... with my own ears, you must be innocent. - So what?

So get up. My mother will be very pleased to meet you.

- What do you want from me? - To marry you, Miss!

- Don't you understand? - I've just about had it!

You see me crying and you think I would sink that low?

Have you seen yourself? Take a look!

It's about substance, not appearance!

Your fianc� might be handsome, but he is a scoundrel.

Battista might be that way...

... but he's a thousand times better than you!

And I love him, I don't want to lose him!

I don't want to lose him at any cost! Now I'm going there to make up!

- Who is it? Where? - Through there.

- Hi, Marianna. - Hi. I have to talk to you.

- Is that your room? - Yes, but let's sit here.

The owners are gossips. I mean, for you...

Very well.

Those ugly things you said...

I may have gone over the top, but it was true. Life is ugly.

- Look. - What record is this?

Look, do you remember?

What, you don't remember?

You don't remember that day in the booth?

You didn't even buy it.

So, I brought it to you.

Thank you, Darling.

Shall we listen to it again together? Close together?

I love you so much.

Of course, Darling. But my record player is broken.

- No, not here. - Right, where shall we go?

- I don't know, somewhere nice. - To the Grand Hotel!

No. On a boat ride!

- But it's night time. - And the stars are out.

Yes, on a boat ride, just like you wanted to do last Sunday.

Of course, Darling. And if we end up on the rocks...

Well, who cares?

- Who's that in your room? - No one. Perhaps I left...

... the radio on. Here, I'll be right back.

I'll just turn it off. Stay there!

- Will you stop it with this radio? - What's going on?

See? I really did leave it on...

- My cousin. This is my fianc�e. - Nice to meet you, Miss.

- Happy now? - You can take your cousin on that boat ride!

Here!

Marianna, wait! I can explain!

God damn it! You had to come here tonight?

It isn't my fault that my client in Rome burnt his...

- You came to me for this? - Yes, because I need money...

... to get back to the office. - Alright.

- Was that your fianc�e? - Yes!

- What a mess! - Right. - Give it here.

- All of it? - Yes, we'll settle things up in Milan.

Bye! Thanks, bye.

- Now that she's gone, can I stay? - No! Get out of here!

Damn it, what rotten luck!

If they ask for me, tell them I've gone to the laundrette.

Very well.

Professor! Professor!

- You made it. - I ran all the way.

- How come? - Because I know that you're...

... the kind that doesn't like women to make him wait, right?

I just finished them. Feel that, they're still warm.

- Your heart is really beating. - Well, yeah.

I need to sit down.

Well?

Did you tell Didi that I tried calling her?

Of course I did. Come here, I'll tell you everything.

- Well? - I have her reply. - Give it here!

"My love..."

"My love, last night our three cows gave birth..."

- What is this? - The letter from my mother.

What do I care about your mother? I mean, it's nothing to do with me.

I want to know what Didi told you.

You must love Didi very much.

- Listen, is she at home now? - No, she went out.

Went out?

She went to the cinema.

The the cinema?

As soon as she heard...

... that you had called...

... she went to the cinema.

Professor! Will you read my mother's letter for me?

Ah, yes.

"My love, last night our three cows gave birth..."

"And as such, the stall is full."

"The grain, 80 quintals harvested from the 8 hectares we have..."

You have 8 hectares?

"Means that there's no need..."

"... for you to work anymore."

"You can even get married."

"As soon as you like."

"I'm happy that you've met a young man..."

"... that you like so much."

Good for you.

But, we didn't tell her that.

Mothers know everything.

Mothers, eh?

"A young man that you like so much. A shame he's already engaged..."

"... and to such an idiot..."

"... him being a professor and all."

- Mothers... - They know everything.

Yours seems to know so much.

"I'm sure you'll come home this year, once again..."

"... for the Saint Zopito celebration, which is tomorrow, Sunday."

"The train leaves at 10:27, Platform 5, you can't miss it."

Professor! Will you come? Why stay in Rome, anyway?

Miss Didi is mad at you.

- See, Mariarosa... - Yes?

I would come with you, if you didn't make so many mistakes.

What mistakes?

You wrote "Zopito" with two P's.

- That's not true. - Right.

You wrote it with one P, but you still wrote it.

Yes, I wrote it.

- Now give it here, I want to read all of it. - No.

Not now, I'm ashamed.

- But that's not Didi. - He must have two.

- He found another one. - A real Romeo, our professor!

- Time to give him a hand. - What are you doing?

Smashing the street lamp.

My kids, little delinquents...

Professor! Are you angry?

No. Actually, to tell the truth, I'm happy to discover that...

... you know how to write. - Thank you.

Listen, you may as well just open your eyes.

- What do you mean? - What do you mean?

- Nothing. - Me neither.

I hope you don't think I'm in love with you!

- No, although... - Then you're mistaken!

Because I don't care about you!

You can have that simpering Miss Didi, if you like!

I know that you're in love with her.

And you can ask her to iron these, so she burns all of them!

Here he is! Professor! Come here.

Ferdinando, hi.

You look like a rag-man, what are you doing with all those shirts?

I just picked them up, they've been ironed.

- It doesn't look like it! - Would you iron them?

- I'd burn all of them. - If you'd like, I can...

No, of course not. I just wanted a quick word.

I'd like to visit the Palatine Hill tomorrow, will you take me?

Interesting.

- What are you doing here? - Sorry, but the professor forgot...

... to give me his dirty shirts.

Yes. Because I iron them.

She irons them.

These, too.

- Well, will you take me? - Where? - The Palatine Hill.

- Ah, yes. - Reverend, did you know that the Saint Zopito...

... celebration is tomorrow? - Saint Zopito? - Yes.

It's an annual celebration in my village. Ah, Professor!

Tomorrow I can't bring the shirts. I'm going home, you see.

There's the celebration. I promised, and a promise...

AS you can see, I'm being generous. Seeing that Maometto...

... hasn't gone to the mountains. - But, I called your house...

... so many times, Didi. You're the one who wasn't there.

- What? You called me? - Yes.

But no one told me anything. Who did you speak to?

- I don't know. - You don't know?

- Was it a man or a woman's voice? - It was...

It was a man. A man's voice, yes.

That's strange.

Well, I'm going.

- Goodbye, Reverend. Thank you for everything. - Of course.

- I've wanted to meet you for some time. - You're very kind. Goodbye.

- Goodbye. - Bye.

- Bye. - Let's go, Mariarosa.

I'll see you tomorrow at 11, then. Bye!

- Bye. - Good evening, Reverend.

My child.

- Do you like her? - Which one?

You know, the one...

I thought you meant the other one.

The very moment he saw me! He started crying...

... begging me not to leave. I felt so sorry for him...

... that in the end I said: "Very well, I forgive you."

- Battista is here! - Who? - Battista!

- I don't want to see him. - Please talk to her, Desdemona...

- Didi, if you don't mind. - Please, I don't have time!

I have so much to do!

- Yes, we know. - I'm just so busy!

I told you he would come. Now get up, don't be silly.

Marianna, get up!

- Well? - I have nothing to say! - I know, but if he came...

... he must have something to say. - Leave me in peace!

But if you don't make up with him, how will you make him pay?

Put your slippers on.

Come on, you can do it.

Boo! Hands up!

- Come on, laugh! Still mad? - Yes!

- Shall we make up? - No!

- Shall we go for a boat ride? - No!

- Let's go for a boat ride. - Go with that other woman!

Marianna, I'll really go.

- Marianna, I'll really go. - Then go, go, go!

Marianna, I'm going.

- Go! - I'm going!

At Sacrofano there's a restaurant inside a cave.

It's a fashionable place, we could eat there.

They make a wonderful Chicken Cacciatora.

Miss Carlotta, you always have the very best ideas.

Besides, life is made up of these little things.

The pleasures of the palate, a nice comfortable house.

Exactly, and young people don't understand such things.

- Bye, Marianna, we're off! - Auntie, I'm coming with you.

- You'll only get bored, Darling. - Please, Auntie...

Take me to the coast, to Fiumicino.

Actually, we're going to Sacrofano.

Battista has gone out on a boat ride with his cousin.

- Well, if it's his cousin... - She's not that kind of cousin!

Then why didn't you make up with him?

So, last Sunday you come with those two idiots.

Today you bring you're whole family.

I want to know why you're on a boat ride with that woman.

If you're mad about it, then I'm sure you know.

And besides, you told me to.

You made me angry.

- Forgive me. - Who's that? Ah, it's you.

What is it?

- You would be the cousin of the gentleman? - Yes.

- Lucky him. - Why?

Because I've never had such a lovely cousin myself.

Look.

Why did you bring this, to listen to with her?

No, with you! But, since you weren't coming...

- Miss? - What is it?

- You are a Miss? - Of course.

From the city, or the country?

Well, to be honest, I was born in Veneto.

But my profession means I'm based in Milan. Anything else?

Not for the moment, thanks.

I hate being left alone when in a group of people!

- I find it very rude! - You're right, Auntie.

All because of you and your whims!

- Auntie! Are you seasick? - A bit.

Tell him to go slowly!

Slow down!

- Let go of me! - My Aunt feels sick!

- Alright, alright... - Stop!

- Shall we dance? - Let go, I said!

- Let's go back! - I feel awful!

- Don't worry! - Enough, I want to get off!

- Stop! - Enough!

Thanks for coming, Sir!

So, who is this guy?

Don't think about it, he won't give you a lira.

Thanks, have fun.

- Bye, Auntie! - Goodbye, be careful!

Okay, bye!

- Enjoy yourselves! - Thanks!

Finally alone, you and I between sea and sky.

Between sea and sky.

Why don't you take that off? It's so hot, don't you think?

You're right, it's hot.

- Do you love me? - So much.

- You scoundrel! - Help!

Oh, God! He's drowning! Battista!

- Help! Save me! - What should I do?

- Come back! - Wait!

- Help! - What should I press?

I don't know! Turn around! Quick! Help!

I'll marry you!

It might be that we've only known each other for a few hours...

... but that doesn't matter to love! - Yeah, I know all about that.

You might be in love...

... but you didn't like the idea of paying for oysters.

What oysters? I said I'd buy you a coffee.

- Right. - And I said that we could just get one...

... back at mine... - Where, I'm sure...

... there is a beautiful and comfortable sofa.

Well then, Mother of God, my words aren't worth a thing?

No.

And if I swear upon the person I hold dearest?

Swear on who you want, but I'm not coming up with you.

I am Gaspare Florio, son of Assunta and if you don't...

... come up for a coffee, after everything I've said....

... you will not only offend me, but also the person...

... I would have sworn on: My own mother.

Listen here, Gasparino. I'm Mimma of Milan.

I'm sorry about your mother, but I'm not coming up there...

... even if you pick me up and carry me. Got it? Bye.

Very well. You won't see me again.

- I'm sure I'll manage. Bye! - Stop! Don't move!

- Saintly, you are! - What are you doing?

- Don't say a word, come with me. - Where? - Quiet.

- In the car? - Don't say anything.

- Where are you taking me? - To the station!

My mother will be here in half an hour.

Where have you been? I looked everywhere!

I've finally she who is worthy of marrying Gaspare Florio...

And his mother Assunta!

- Good morning. - Professor! I didn't think...

- Think what? - That you were coming. - When I make a promise...

Yes, but you also said that you were going to the Palatine Hill.

At the Palatine Hill I wouldn't be able to uncover your lies.

What lies?

Why didn't you tell Miss Didi that I called her so often?

Because I didn't.

- Did you have a strong reason? - Very strong.

- Very well, I see. - Where are you going?

To look for another compartment. There's no room here.

- No, I was saving you a seat. - Hold on.

- When will the other travelers be back? - What travelers?

- All this stuff... - This is all my stuff.

That way we're alone, see?

I've got some nice cheese here if you're hungry.

Miss Carlotta has it sent all the way from Abruzzo.

What did you tell Miss Carlotta?

- I wrote her a letter. - You'll be in trouble when you go back.

- No, because I'm not going back. - Are you looking for another job?

- I don't need a job. - So you're not going back...

... to the village just to watch the Saint Zopito celebration.

Do you think I'd spend all this money just for Saint Zopito?

So, that's another lie.

Yes, but always because of that strong reason.

And you? Do you have a reason, too?

- Mariarosa. - Yes?

Today I'm coming to your house to speak with your mother, and...

... I'll tell her we're getting married. Are you surprised?

I knew it.

- Well, it will be a nice surprise for your mother. - She knows, too.

- Who told her? - I sent her a telegram.

- Mariarosa, do you know what I'll do now? - Yes. You'll give me a kiss.

No, you're mistaken. I'll give you two.

It's all wet.

Here, use this.

- Thank you. - Try to calm down, please.

Dumping me like this, for a maid!

Listen to me, I've heard lots of confessions from men.

Maid or Duchess, it really doesn't matter.

- Handkerchief. - I already gave you it.

Are you sure you love him to the point of crying?

Well, I'm crying! I don't cry very often.

Yes, but it's not always the same. Can I ask you a question?

- Question? - Yes.

Go ahead, if you like. But it's useless, he's gone.

No, I mean, have you ever shown jealousy towards your fianc�?

- Yes, I once gave him a slap. - Why?

I found him kissing my best friend.

- Yes. - Then that slap was justified.

I think that if he had fallen in love with your friend...

... rather than with Mariarosa...

... then you would be less upset.

Of course, it might have been easier to take.

Therefore, it can't have been real jealousy...

... so you didn't really love him. - But I have a knot in my chest!

That's because he's gone, as you say. But it will pass.

Then why did I forgive him? I did so much to please him.

I ate carrots like a horse, made my face up every night...

... like a mummy. Nothing.

He told me that he liked it, but he never showed it...

And in what way was he supposed to show it?

I don't know. Of course, I'd have confessed.

- Good. Now I understand. - But, what?

Your penance is merited. You deserved it.

- Why? - Because you made mistakes!

I've done nothing wrong! What mistakes?

I can tell you one. Spend less time trying to please men...

... and more understanding them. - Perhaps you're right.

- You're very kind, you know? - Thanks. As I was saying...

- Did you study to be a priest? - As I was saying, when...

... your fianc�... - Ex. - Anyway, Ferdinando...

- Yes, ex. - When he took you to see museums, ruins...

... were you bored? - To death.

See? You didn't love him. When you really love someone...

... you try to enjoy all the things the other enjoys, too.

Yes. Do you really like all these piles of rubble?

Rubble?

- Those are the remains of the Palace of Augustus. - Interesting.

Where the emperor lived. That is the Hippodrome of Domitian.

Built in the... But now I'm boring you.

- No, I find it so interesting! - Oh, really? - Very much.

The Hippodrome of Domitian was used for the games of...

Listen, you can ask a tour guide if you're that interested!

Good day!

But, Reverend!

And he tells me to be nice.

Your handkerchief! Reverend!

A stone upon which...

... an inscription was found that says...

... "Ippodromus Palazzi". This gives us the impression...

... that the area was created for games involving horses...

... with chariots, racing events. Here we find ourselves...

... looking at the remains of the Severian... - Excuse me.

- Sorry about that, Miss. - Not at all!

The remains of the Severian aqueduct, that takes its name...

... from emperor Septimus Severus, who built it...

Well, the complex was built by Domitian...

... but Severus adapted it for thermal use.

But how do we know this, you ask?

Well, from the holes in the wall...

... from the raised ground that was required...

... for the heating...

Are you interested in these things, Miss?

Oh, ruins? Very much!

Ah, good. Well done. Very good.

Boys, let's have another look at the Hippodrome of Domitian.

Yes, this vast arena that was used for races and games.

And now we move on to the Circus Maximus.

Come along, boys. Anyway, the Circus Maximus...

... this, too... This place was...

Go on then, run along and have a good look at the...

... at the Circus Maximus!

For me, the Circus Maximus... Please, after you.