Original subtitles

[ Doorbell rings]

I'll get it. Ooh.

In the name of the elders of mandor

prepare to die!

What?

Take thisgorgo

and thisgorgo.

[ Screaming]

[ Growling]

Wait. No. I'm not gorgo!

You're not?

No.

So, this isn't

the fortress of wolfrick?

No, this is 133 Collins road.

I'm sorry.

Am I embarrassed.

So you're not going to kill me?

No, no, no.

There's been a terrible mistake.

We recently merged with another horde

and the interdepartmental communication

has been horrible.

I'm sorry to trouble you.

Oh that's okay.

It was no trouble.

Believe me, I'm going to ream those guys in dispatch.

Hey, you forgot your thingy.

Sorry.

I only do nice hostile takeovers.

Fueled by the flames

of vengeance and persecution

the Salem witch trials lasted a year.

By the end of 1693, 20 were hanged...

And the town had seen

its darkest days.

Okay, two notes on tomorrow's field trip to historic Salem.

The bus will leave Saturday morning at 8:00 A.M.

8:00 A.M. on a Saturday?

That's just wrong.

And pack lightly.

You'll be provided with period clothing when you arrive.

The idea is for us to fully immerse ourselves

in the repressive culture of the time.

You want to sit next to me

on the trip tomorrow?

I know all the good bus songs.

I'm not even sure I'm going.

You're kidding. Don't you want to see where the witches lived?

Big deal.

Touchy.

Hey, Adam.

Hey.

He is so into you.

I know.

Has he asked you out?

Not yet, but it's only because he's shy.

Adam's not the type of guy

who would ask a girl to do something.

She'd have to make the first move.

So when are you going to do it?

In Salem.

It's the exotic perfect setting

to let Adam know I like him.

Have you ever dated a baseball player before?

Let's see... football, hockey, soccer, la crosse

badminton... no.

Zelda: What about Carl?

We could invite him.

Eh. He always wants

to bring his skunk familiar.

Hey, what's going on?

We're thinking of having

a little Texas-style dinner party tomorrow night.

I had a hankering for seven-witch chili.

It's good eatin'. We'll save you some

for when you get back from your trip.

Uh, I don't think I can go.

Why not?

I'm sick. See?

Bed of nails? Why am I like this?

Because you're a faker.

Huh?

You know, an Indian mystic

a fakir.

This is a very painful pun, aunt hilda.

Her point is, you're not sick.

Ouch. Okay, I'm not.

But I've been thinking about it

and Salem sounds like a dangerous place for a witch.

The Salem witch trials

had nothing to do with real witches.

Besides, that was

300 years ago.

There's nothing to worry about now

except over-priced souvenirs.

Really?

Go

And have a good time on your field trip.

Students: ♪ ...eight bottles of beer on the wall ♪

♪ eight bottles of beer

♪ take one down, pass it around ♪

♪ seven bottles of beer on the wall... ♪

Okay, that's enough. We're here.

Can't we finish the song?

We were so close.

Sorry, Harvey, no more singing.

Ye be puritans now.

Okay, I'm going to hand out these envelopes

which each contain a card.

Don't open them yet.

On each card is a role

for you to play while at Salem village.

Most of the cards say "townsperson"

but one or more may say witch.

Witch?

If you really play your roles

we can make history come alive.

Open your envelopes

but don't reveal your card to anyone.

I'm a townsperson. What are you?

Who cares.

I'm not even looking.

Hi, everybody.

What's Mr. Pool doing here?

He must be one of our chaperons.

What won't he do for money?

Jenny, art thou chewing gum?

I art.

Well, out with it.

Had the puritans known chewing gum

you can bet, they would've been against it.

Good morrow, townspersons, and welcome to Salem.

Over there is ye olde inn

where ye will eat and sleep.

And yonder is the meeting hall, where we'll discuss town issues.

Now, before we spread out I want everyone to pick a buddy.

Buddy?

Better be.

Libby, I'll be your buddy.

No, I want to be your buddy.

Be each other's buddies.

I have someone else in mind.

You were my next choice.

Hey, slugger.

Hey.

Listen, Adam

I know you're shy, so I'll make it easy.

Will you be my buddy?

Thanks, Libby.

But I already asked Jenny.

What? Like, as a joke?

No.

Hey, buddy.

Hey, Libby.

Hey yourself.

So, does everyone have a buddy?

Not me.

Well, we can take care of that.

I'll be your buddy, goody chessler.

I feel like i'm falling down a well.

All right, let's change our clothes and begin our morning chores.

[ "Ready to go" by republica playing]

[ Grunts]

I'm starving.

Glad the puritans had chips.

Me, too.

Man, those chores were tougher

than baseball practice.

Yeah. I'm really going to feel

that churning tomorrow.

So has anyone been accused

of having a witch card?

No, and I hope no one is.

Why not?

Because, first, you start looking for witches.

The next thing, it turns into a witch hunt.

Mind if I sit with you, buddy?

So, you all enjoying puritan life?

If I wanted to do chores

I would have stayed home this weekend.

Life was hard then.

It wasn't unusual for a woman your age

to be married and have a kid.

All: Ew!

Hey, Jenny, could I talk to you outside? It's important.

Alone... that's forbidden.

Don't worry. No harm will come of it.

Do you see that?

It's disgusting.

I can't stand this.

Jenny is going to be so sorry.

Where you going?

To channel my anger

into something productive.

Before I tell you this

you have to promise not to repeat it.

Upon my soul.

I could get put in the stocks for this

but you look really cute in that outfit.

Thanks. So do you.

Uh, uh, uh, uh.

Unless ye be married

there will be no holding of hands.

Geez. Ye be really into this.

What was that?[ Girl screams]

It came from the attic.

Libby, what's wrong?

She did this to me.

Jenny's specter flew in and braided my hair.

Why?

To make me look dorky.

Her spirit also threw my shoes

out the window, and I'll prove it.

There! See what Jenny's stupid specter did to my shoes?

I wasn't lying. That's proof.

Of what?

That's Jenny's card says witch.

That's ridiculous.

Jenny's not a witch!

True or false, the puritans would have taken

these allegations very seriously.

That's right.

So, as puritans, you have a choice

you can either deal with the witch accusation

or go back to your chores.

I saw Jenny with the devil.

Witch, witch.

Hey, guys witch, witch. What's going on?

Get her!

Run!

[ Chanting]: Witch! Witch!

Witch! Witch! Witch!

Witch! Witch!

What was that all about?

They think you're a witch.

Really? Cool.

Well, maybe in some circumstances

but not right now.

So, just tell me, did your card say "witch"?

Nope. "Townsperson."

Great. Then, you're off the hook. Just show it to them.

I can't. I spit my gum out in it.

How could you?

That's what the wrapper's for.

Why are you getting so worked up?

Because they're persecuting you

and if they can do this to you

they can do it to anyone.

It's just a game.

Yeah, but what if you were a witch

and this wasn't a game?

Goody Kelly, you're wanted in the meeting house.

It's time for your trial.

Why couldn't we have just recreated Thanksgiving?

Let's begin the trial.

Bring in the accused witch, Jennifer Kelly.

Cold. Cold. She's making me cold.

Cold. Cold. Cold.

Oh, put a sweater on.

All right, Jennifer Kelly

you are accused of being a witch.

Do you confess it?

No.

But didn't your specter

twist goody chessler's hair and toss her shoes?

No, I'm pretty sure my specter was with me the whole time.

And where were you?

You weren't in the dining hall when Libby screamed.

She was with Adam.

Unescorted.

How unseemly.

We were just talking.

About what?

I can't say.

I've been sworn to secrecy.

There are no secrets in court.

Then ask Jill if that's her real nose.

Silence. Jill's nose is not on trial here.

You will tell the court what you were discussing, Jenny.

Or be held in contempt.

Do with me what you may.

I will not betray a trust.

That's enough.

I'm really proud of the way

you stood up to everyone, Jenny.

Thanks.

Did they find the key yet?

No.

Man, I wish I really

was a witch.

I'd zap open these stocks

and broomstick it out of here.

Hey, there's Adam.

I'll go talk to him.

'Tis a Providence you're here.

Where have you been?

Walking in the woods.

What happened to Jenny?!

She's accused of being a witch.

They put her in the stocks because

she won't tell the court what you were talking about.

Your secret's safe with me.

I'll tell the court.

Ye will not suffer on my account.

No, don't.

Besides, they would have found out Monday.

We have new evidence.

Adam will testify.

What say ye?

Mr. Pool

today at lunch, I did speak with Jenny.

What was the nature of your conversation?

This is kind of hard for me, but...

I've decided to quit baseball.

What?!

You're our best shortstop.

Why would you do that?

Witchcraft!

All: Witchcraft!

No. No!

I just wanted to spend more time on my studies.

Jenny has witched him!

She's turned a man against sport.

Don't blame Jenny.

Blame coach. He's insane.

All: Witchcraft, witchcraft!

[ Whistling]

Listen to yourselves.

You have no proof Jenny's a witch.

We have no proof she isn't either

and that's good enough fop me.

But that's ridiculous

you could say that about anyone in this room.

Ow! She's pinching me.

She's pinchingme!

Jenny, stop pinching Libby.

No, not Jenny. Sabrina.

What? I'm not doing anything.

Yes, you are.

Ow!

All: Ow... ow... ow... ow... ow...

She has a witch card.

Sabrina is a witch!

[ Crowd gasps]

Me? A witch? That's ridiculous.

So you deny it?

Well, I...

I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer.

Because you're a witch.

Stop saying that!

Witch!

Careful!

What?!

Hex me? Witch!

Libby, you don't know

what you're talking about.

I think right now, the only witch in this room is you!

[ Thunder crackling]

What just happened?

I can explain it.

You can? Oh, good.

Yes. I may be wearing funny clothes

but I'm still a science teacher.

And what we just saw was ball lightning.

A very rare and unusual phenomenon.

Aren't we lucky?

Lucky?

It almost killed me.

But it didn't.

Let the record show, it didn't.

I think that's enough for today.

Tomorrow, there'll be more candle making

cow milking and... The trial of Sabrina.

[ Pounds gavel]

Hello, aunt Zelda?

Oh, Sabrina

we were just sitting down to chili.

Everything is going crazy.

I don't like it anymore. You have to come get me.

Sabrina, slow down.

You're hard enough to understand

when you're notagitated.

I want you to come get me.

Don't you like Salem?

No. Please come get me.

What's going on?

I'll tell you when you come get me.

And don't fly, drive.

You two arriving on vacuums is not going to help.

We have to go.

Sabrina needs us.

Oh. All right.

Sorry, guys.

Salem, you're in charge.

Yes. Control. Chili.

I have it all.

[ Evil laughing]

I still don't get why you're taking off.

There's just something about this town.

Ooh... there are my aunts.

Well, it's been fun.

Bye, Harvey.

Come on, stay.

I can't. Sorry.

See you Monday.

[ Sighs]

Hi, Sabrina.

We would have been here sooner

but your aunt drives like an 800-year-old lady.

Well, let's hit the road.

Not so fast.

What's going on?

Well, we've been doing this role-playing game.

That sounds like fun.

No, it's not.

People think I got a witch card.

They've accused me of being a witch.

I tell you, this town needs a disco.

So do you have the witch card?

I don't know.

I didn't even look at mine, and I have no idea where it is.

This is new.

Mortals have been accusing each other for centuries

but I think this may be the first time

they actually got a real witch.

It's supposed to be a game but it doesn't feel like one to me.

They think being a witch is a bad thing.

Oh, you know it isn't.

Then, why can't I tell people I'm one for real?

It's not a good idea.

Trust me...

They won't understand.

Well, they almost found out today.

I came this close to blowing my cover

and if I take the stand tomorrow

I can't honestly claim my innocence.

And then what?

Sabrina, calm down.

There's a lesson

to be learned here

and you're going to stay and learn it.

You're not going to take me home?

No.

Can you at least give me a hint of what the lesson is?

It's about accepting who you are.

But I don't know who I am.

I lost my card.

You don't need a card to tell you who you are.

That's right.

What's right?

You know what's right.

And now it's time for us

to go home to our chili.

Everything will be fine.

So you drove an hour to give me some vague platitudes?

That's what being a parent is.

You'll thank us when you're 40.

Not if they hang me, I won't.

I'm really glad you stayed.

How could I miss doing chores

and standing trial?

Harvey, can I ask you a question?

Is it about my feelings?

Yes.

Okay.

If I were a witch, would you still like me?

You got the witch card.

Oh, forget about the game.

What if I were a real witch?

Would you have supernatural powers?

Yeah.

How could I not like that?

So what kind of things would you do?

Hmm...

I might turn Libby into a goat

or change my clothes a lot

or make a giant flan.

That's all? Wouldn't you want to do cooler stuff?

Like what?

Like create a big freaky machine

that could fly, or make pizza... or...

See? It's not so easy.

Sabrina...

It's time for your trial.

Wish me luck.

Is my bonnet on straight?

All set.

Great!

The cart will be here in a moment.

Students: Witch! Witch! Witch! Witch! Witch! Witch!

Witch! Witch! Witch! Witch! Witch!

Hey, watch it with the cabbage!

Witch! Witch!

Itchy. She's making us itchy.

We're wearing wool. We're all itchy.

[ Pounding gavel]

We'll continue with the trial

of goody spellman.

Goody chessler has accused you of being a witch.

Do you confess it?

Yep.

You do?

Uh-huh.

I'm a witch, but I lost my card.

So I guess I'm not a card-carrying witch.

But I am a witch.

All right, then, I guess that's it.

Just sign this confession, and we'll begin shunning you.

Wait! What are you saying?

You're not a witch.

That was a false confession.

Harvey, I have no problem saying I'm a witch.

But I know it's not true.

I mean, look at this face.

Is this the face of a witch?

No!

Witches are horrible, ugly things and...

They melt when you throw water on them.

Look.

See? She's still there.

Thanks, Harvey.

But what you just described is a stereotype.

I mean, how do you know witches are ugly?

Have you seen one?

No.

Maybe you fear witches because you've never met any.

Yes, witches are different from mortals

but different isn't bad.

Maybe there are witches among us right now

but we're so closed-minded

they can't tell us who they are.

And we're the ones missing out.

Because if we just accepted witches

maybe there'd be a big pizza party right now.

So I ask you, can we accept witches?

Crowd: No! No!

No! Down with witches!

Aunt hilda was right.

Order! Order!

That was a lovely speech, Sabrina.

But the bus will be here soon

and it's time for the group

to pass judgment on you and Jenny.

Please stand before us.

Goody Kelly...

You have been accused to being a witch

and have been given a chance to defend yourself.

Who here believes Jenny has a witch card?

[ Crowd clapping]

I'll take that as a "yes."

Aw, man, is this going on my record?

Goody spellman...

You have been accused to being a witch

and had been given a chance to defend yourself.

Who here believes Sabrina has a witch card?

The mob has spoken.

The court finds Jenny guilty of being a witch

but is letting Sabrina off for lack of enthusiasm.

[ Pounds gavel]

But I confessed!

I confessed!

Nice try, Sabrina.

No one can accept you're a witch.

They are never getting a pizza party now.

So how will Jenny be punished?

Libby, we're not going to punish Jenny.

After what her specter put me through?

If it makes you feel any better

you can pretend we hanged her.

That's not good enough.

Shouldn't she at least have to sit in the stocks

until the bus comes?

I mean, she's a witch.

And we hate witches.

Ooh... I'm cold.

I'm really cold.

Aren't you guys?

No.

Maybe i'm a littlechilly.

I just got a wet Willie!

This is witchcraft!

Libby, you're taking this too far.

But you have to believe me.

Hah!

There's a monkey on my shoulder!

There's a monkey on my shoulder!

Get it off me!

Libby, there's no monkey on your shoulder.

[ Monkey squeaks]

Okay... look...

I was making it up before

but now I really see a monkey.

Did you hear that? She was making it up.

Of course, I was.

So you confess?

You were just pretending to be cold and itchy and dorky?

Yes. Yes.

Now, can we please deal

with the monkey on my shoulder?

In a second.

First, given new evidence

that Libby was making stuff up

we will reverse Jenny's conviction.

My specter and I thank you.

And for perjury, Libby will spend

the day in the stocks until the bus comes.

Whoo-hoo!

Don't you see him?

It's wearing a Fez and saying, "ook, ook...

Ook."

[ Moaning]

I think my mom's really going to like

this homemade butter.

And I got a kitchen witch for my aunts.

Oh, no. My nose is itchy.

I'll help you out there, buddy.

[ Sighs]

I just hit the bottom of the well.

I hope you enjoyed your stay at Salem.

But before we get on the bus

I want to let you in on a secret.

What we've been studying was not just 17th-century life

but human nature.

The persecution, the hysteria

of 300 years ago arose again today.

And all it took was an idea planted in your head.

The idea that someone different was among you.

It wasn't just an idea.

I did see a monkey.

And that's what hysteria can do to you.

So, who did have the witch cards?

No one had the witch card.

Every single card said "townsperson."

I didn't create the witches.

Youdid.

Now, think about that on the ride home.

So, should we do the last seven bottles

or go back to 99?

I don't know.

I'm just going to sleep the whole way back.

So that's where my card went.

My proof was here the whole time.

A kitchen witch.

Sabrina, thank you.

That was very thoughtful.

We'll hang it over the cauldron.

I thought you'd like it.

So are you glad that you stayed at Salem?

Yeah, it was a pretty freaky weekend though.

But you guys were right...

I learned a lesson.

What lesson?

Thelesson.

Oh, thatlesson.

I'll get more pie.

Wait! Don't get up.

It's so good to be home and be myself again.