All language subtitles for Press for Time 1966-subrip

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,030 Evening news! The Standard! 2 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,076 Evening news - Standard! 3 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:10,870 Early edition! Evening news - Standard! All the runners and riders. Paper! 4 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,918 Evening news is here! 5 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:17,469 Ha! 6 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:28,832 OK, Fred. 7 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,353 - Hello, Mum. - So you've done it again. 8 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:56,189 Look! I've had a reply from your grandfather's lawyer. 9 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:58,430 Oh, Mum! 10 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:02,399 You haven't been writing to Grandad again to get me another job! 11 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:06,951 Why not? It's time he took responsibility for his own grandson. 12 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,476 But, Mum... 13 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:13,154 he's the Prime Minister of Great Britain. 14 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:16,596 He can't do anything for me. 15 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,240 - Don't be silly! - Oh! 16 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,910 He gets me all the wrong jobs! 17 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,595 Banker, accountant... Stockbroker... 18 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:29,750 I haven't been educated for that stuff! 19 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:33,071 You have an appointment with him at 10.30. 20 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,754 Now come home and put on your best suit. 21 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,274 You mustn't be late, whatever happens! 22 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:55,638 Oh! 23 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,280 They've been waiting an hour and ten minutes! 24 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:02,670 - I couldn't help it. - "The traffic was terrible." 25 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,512 Ah-ay-ay! 26 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:09,714 Hello? Norman Shields here. 27 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:11,870 Are you receiving me? Over. 28 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,676 Wait. Over. 29 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:19,349 As Attorney General, Prime Minister, I have for years beseeched you 30 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:22,113 to accept responsibility for your grandson. 31 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,758 Mm. Erm... 32 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:28,037 Mm-mm... Damnation, Mr Ballard. 33 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,793 You know full well... mm... 34 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:34,031 that I cut my daughter off without a penny 35 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:38,591 when... when she married that, mm, that... that lout. 36 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:42,355 I know, I know. But he is still your grandson, Sir Wilfred. 37 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:45,193 Times have changed. These are modern days. 38 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:50,308 Er, er... Modern days. Bah! Er... give me the good old days. 39 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:53,995 Now, when I was on the threshold of life... 40 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:56,469 Oh, dear. Not again. 41 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:13,991 I-I-lt seems... but yesterday... 42 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:19,154 mm-mm... that... that I was an undergraduate... 43 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:22,949 at... at, mm, erm, Oxford. 44 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:31,236 And... And a fine upstanding young fellow I was too. 45 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,198 That year... I met Isobel. 46 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:40,870 'I dreamt of the day when I could hold her in my arms. 47 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,269 'But the fulfilment of those dreams... 48 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,352 'came as rather a surprise.' 49 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,352 Oh, Wilfred, you're magnificent! 50 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,556 Such control. Such grace. 51 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:54,154 Oh, I say! Do you really think so? 52 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:58,711 Oh, absolutely! Such determination. Such... power. 53 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,030 Such strength. 54 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:07,079 Oh! 55 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:12,191 Oh, Wilfred! Help! Save me! 56 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:15,918 Water! 57 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,272 Oh! 58 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:36,270 Oh, it's all right, darling. It's only shallow here. 59 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,316 I'll save you. 60 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:52,077 Isobel! 61 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:55,313 Wilfred! 62 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:57,993 Oh! 63 00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:59,911 Aah! 64 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:05,910 Oh, my darling Isobel! 65 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,309 I adore you! 66 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:15,833 Daddy! 67 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:18,957 And so... a marriage was arranged. 68 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:23,636 Events took their natural course and a daughter was born. 69 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:30,068 Little Emily grew up and blossomed into a true English rose. 70 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:35,280 But alas, the beautiful rose became a thorn in my side. 71 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:40,948 'Women... staged, mm, demonstrations 72 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,508 'demanding... equality. 73 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:48,792 'Emily became... a suffragette 74 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:55,718 'and, chaining herself to the railings of this historic old building, 75 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,268 Votes for women! Votes for women! 76 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:04,955 We demand sex equality! We want our rights! 77 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:08,396 We want votes! We want to be 78 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:11,313 Recognised by all as the head of the family! 79 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:14,676 We want equality, we demand our rights! 80 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:17,479 We love Emily because of the way she fights! 81 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:21,269 Chain me to the railings, starve me, let me die 82 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:24,158 - Why can't women vote like men? - Why, why, why? 83 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,993 We want votes! We want to be 84 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,958 Recognised by all as the head of the family! 85 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:34,318 Why don't you leave off? A woman's place is in the kitchen. 86 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,550 Let's have a bit of peace and quiet. 87 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,392 We want votes! 88 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,995 'Fate chose this precise moment to intervene.' 89 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,640 'The rains came.' 90 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:57,113 - Wanna come down here? - Votes for women! Votes for women! 91 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,589 Votes for... 92 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:01,716 Help! Help! 93 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:50,796 'Thus the blue-blooded dignity of our family 94 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:53,348 'was shattered.' 95 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:58,116 And so the wedding took place between my daughter, Emily, 96 00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,918 and... and 97 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:04,474 Bert... Shields. 98 00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:07,916 A... A... sewer man. 99 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:13,199 A union blessed by the birth of a son. 100 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,635 My grandson. 101 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:16,948 Norman. 102 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:33,516 Morning, Mr Ballard. You were expecting me. 103 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:35,358 Yes. 104 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:37,510 One hour and ten minutes ago. 105 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,315 This way. 106 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,436 Say hello. 107 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:51,078 Hello... 108 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,435 er, Grandad. 109 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:57,035 Do-Don't you call me G-Grandad! 110 00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:00,908 Really, Prime Minister. After all, he is your grandson. 111 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,275 And you can't blame me. 112 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,510 Hold your tongue and sit down. 113 00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:16,758 So... what kind of job are we going to get him this time, Ballard? 114 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:19,149 But I've already got a job, ain't I? 115 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,713 Yesterday, I stumbled on what may be a solution. 116 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:26,315 Major Bartlett, one of your Conservatives, owns a newspaper. 117 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:30,272 Hmph. Er... Miss Thompson? 118 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:34,638 See if you can find Major Bartlett in the House. 119 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,711 'He's already here, Sir.' 120 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:40,352 I took the liberty. 121 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:41,873 Hmph. 122 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:46,591 Mm, yes, mm. Journalism... eh? 123 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:49,274 Well, that's what I'm doing already. 124 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,875 - You know, in a way. - In a way? 125 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:56,475 I sell newspapers outside Westminster tube station, don't I? 126 00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,712 A... A newsboy? 127 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:02,872 In Westminster? 128 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:05,672 Oh... oh... 129 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:11,436 You... You... You knew about this, Ballard? 130 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:15,672 Yes, Prime Minister. That's why I thought a change would be a good idea. 131 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,149 Show Major... Major... 132 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:21,596 Show Major, er... erm, in. 133 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:30,515 Er, er... Major, er... 134 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,830 erm, erm... Burrows. 135 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:36,956 - Bartlett, sir. Major Rupert Erwin Bartlett. - Yes, quite so. 136 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:40,749 - You've considered my application? - The junior ministerial vacancy. 137 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,910 Ah, yes. Ah, ah... 138 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,036 Junior Minister. 139 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,873 Oh! I don't think I've had the pleasure. 140 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,918 - You remind me of someone. - Er, mm... 141 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,991 My grandson. Shields. 142 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,799 Delighted to meet you. 143 00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:00,357 - You're not up for the junior minister? - No, I'm only a... 144 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,317 Newspaper man! 145 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:06,359 - What a coincidence! So am I. - The major owns the Tinmouth Times 146 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:09,512 in his constituency - little town in the West Country. 147 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,956 - Over 200 miles away. - 200 miles? 148 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:16,076 That's a nice long way. 149 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:19,630 Well, I... My grandson was just telling me 150 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:23,952 how much he would like to work on a provincial newspaper. 151 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,874 Prime Minister, I have a splendid idea! 152 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:33,509 Good, that's settled, then. He can start tomorrow morning. 153 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:37,036 Thank you, Major. I won't take up any more of your time. 154 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:40,590 But the ministerial vacancy, could you give me a decision? 155 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:44,832 Now, don't worry, Barclay, I've got your name well in mind. 156 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:52,630 You sort out the travel arrangements, Ballard. Hm? Erm... 157 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:56,312 A one-way ticket to Tinmouth. 158 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:59,517 - It's already done, Prime Minister. - Oh, oh. 159 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,637 Oh, Ballard. 200 miles! 160 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:05,992 200 miles! 161 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,435 - Ballard! Ballard! - Oh, sir! 162 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:14,191 Oh, oh, oh... Thank you, Ballard. 163 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,350 Now, sir. We're wanted in the House. 164 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,992 Miss Thompson will take care of you, Mr Shields. 165 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,513 Goodbye. 166 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:26,479 200 miles! Ha! 167 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,152 - Ballard! - Sir David! 168 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,719 Tinmouth! Tinmouth. 169 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:40,276 Tinmouth! 170 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:04,550 Young man! Young man! 171 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,517 You've got my bag! 172 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,875 This is yours! 173 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:16,071 Please give me my bag! 174 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,116 Give me my bag! 175 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:23,399 You've got yours! Give... me... my... bag! 176 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:27,836 - Give it to me! - Look after that. 177 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,909 - You got back, then? - She got her bag though, that lady. 178 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:07,549 - Oh, yeah? Where? - Penzance. 179 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,914 - Can I have mine, please? - Yeah. 180 00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:15,076 Thank you. 181 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,997 - Not bad. - Not at all bad. 182 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,474 - Ah, Shields! - Bartlett. 183 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,839 Actually, you were due here at nine. 184 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:26,876 Still, I suppose, first morning. 185 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,996 - Bit of a rush I expect. - Mm-hm. 186 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:32,277 I dare say you'd like to meet your colleagues. 187 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,279 Here's Mr Norman Shields, our new reporter. 188 00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:39,316 Mr Ross, the editor. 189 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:44,716 Miss Lampton. 190 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,075 I hope you'll be very happy with us. 191 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,476 All right, come with me. 192 00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:19,194 Shields, I expect a capacity for work and punctuality. 193 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:23,239 I regret to note that you appear to lack the latter quality. Understand? 194 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,117 Right, Chief. 195 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,475 You do shorthand, of course? 196 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,516 I'm afraid not. 197 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,556 You type? 198 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,398 Mr Shields, do you think you could cover this? 199 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,550 Right, Chief. What is it? 200 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:43,116 - A jumble sale. - Jumble sale?! 201 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:49,789 "To be opened by the Mayor, New Congregational... 202 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,996 Mr Shields, I've read it! 203 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:54,230 Right, Chief. 204 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,436 Now, here is a map. 205 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,595 You will find the Congregational Hall marked on this map. 206 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:17,275 - Right, Chief. - Don't call me Chief all the time. 207 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:21,638 Notebook? 208 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,272 Pencil? 209 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:25,752 Yellow. 210 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,636 Got a bicycle? 211 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:54,750 You'll have to buy one. 212 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:58,469 In the meantime, you can borrow one from Pearson. 213 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:00,516 Right, Chief. 214 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:35,389 Where's the New Congregational Hall? 215 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:37,516 That was it over there. 216 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:41,953 Fred. 217 00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:48,757 "Fire... Hydrant." 218 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,274 And I had this all... 219 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:59,193 Press! Press! Press, Press, Press, Press, Press! 220 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:01,350 Tinmouth Times! 221 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:03,396 Make way for the Press! 222 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,151 Excuse me. 223 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,470 Er, are you the Mayor? 224 00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:13,190 Oh! 225 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,352 I've, erm... I've been sent to cover the jumble sale. 226 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,594 - Press, you know. - It's been postponed. 227 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:23,468 Ah! Post... poned. 228 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:27,030 - Cos of the fire? - This gentleman's responsible. 229 00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:30,316 What, for the fire? Oh-hoo-hoo! 230 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:34,279 - No, for the jumble sale. - Oh, I beg your pardon! 231 00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:37,830 - I seem to have come too late. - You can't be too late. I told you. 232 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:39,990 It's been postponed! 233 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:43,876 Yeah, well, thanks very much. 234 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:56,756 You see a bike? 235 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:10,073 Oi! My bike! 236 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:12,310 That's mine! You thieving... 237 00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:20,753 Here! Hey! This isn't a stop, you know. 238 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:24,719 - Not right. Unfair to the others. - That man's pinched my bike! 239 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:28,236 Has he now? That's not right. No, no. 240 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,595 - Faster, faster! - Faster. 241 00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:32,159 Faster! 242 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:34,871 Follow that bike! 243 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:37,349 - Tell him to go faster! - Go faster. 244 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:40,557 Put your foot down. Watch where you're going! 245 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,712 You gotta catch him, that's my bike! 246 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:50,234 We'll call for that queue on the way back. Shall I tell 'em or you? 247 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:52,515 - You. - All right. 248 00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,114 Won't be long! We won't be long! 249 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:06,315 I told 'em we won't be long. 250 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,270 Very kind of you, Tubby. 251 00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:20,232 Don't let him gain on us, Tubby. Tell him! 252 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:22,436 Don't let him gain on us! 253 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:27,114 Get a move on! He's only got a bike. You've got a blooming great bus! 254 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:37,317 Hurry up and catch him or go round the other way. 255 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:58,515 You're closing on him. That's it! Go on! 256 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:01,038 Go on! You're dropping behind. 257 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:08,039 Good boy! 258 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:11,839 He's got my bike and I'm determined to have him. 259 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,556 Oh, you've let him get away! 260 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:32,870 Keep going and we'll head him off. 261 00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:49,832 He's behind! I told ya, we got him! 262 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:52,912 It's no use-we got ya! You can't beat a bus! 263 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,594 - Slow down! I'll get him! - Slow down! 264 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:10,196 - He's gone right! Take the next turning! - Turn right! 265 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,719 Erm, excuse me. 266 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,792 I say, I'm really most awfully sorry, 267 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:59,190 but that wasn't my bike after all! 268 00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:48,637 - Can I help you? - Oh, thank you very much. 269 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:52,635 - You are going in here, ain't you? - Yes. Thank you very much. 270 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:03,990 Thank you very much. 271 00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,275 Young man, this isn't my... 272 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,791 You again! 273 00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:48,476 Well! If it isn't our new ace reporter. 274 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:53,398 A funny thing happened to me on the way to the jumble sale. 275 00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:55,994 Oh, come on, cheer up. Have a drink. 276 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:58,036 I don't really, erm... 277 00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:01,149 Oh, come on! Be a devil. 278 00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:03,470 You're a reporter now. 279 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:06,278 Eddie? 280 00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:09,636 - Same again, Miss Lampton? - Yes, but make it two. 281 00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:27,479 Well... Good reporting. 282 00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:29,516 And you. Er... 283 00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:39,317 Er, it's quite nice. 284 00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:07,189 It's not bad. I think I'll have some of this. 285 00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:09,916 Same again... 286 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:12,673 Eddie. 287 00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:39,669 Erm, I'm so glad I met you tonight. 288 00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:44,638 Can't tell you how glad. 289 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,359 Well, I've got quite an evening ahead. 290 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,590 I've to cover the council meeting. 291 00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:52,752 Eleanor, do you think I could come with you? 292 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:57,072 I've never been to... I've never been to a council meeting. 293 00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:00,709 You must be mad, but if you want to, you're very welcome. 294 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:02,552 Marvellous! 295 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:04,631 Are you ready, then? 296 00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:08,751 Er, see you. 297 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:10,319 Aha! 298 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:26,434 That's where the Lady Mayor, Alderman Mrs Corcoran, sits. 299 00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:28,476 Labour, of course. 300 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:31,151 What, up there? 301 00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:33,356 Doesn't she get dizzy? 302 00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:35,476 The Lady Mayor is always dizzy. 303 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:38,317 So are her council. 304 00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:40,914 I heard what you said about the council. 305 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:45,949 Let me inform you, the lady's remarks refer only to the Labour members. 306 00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:49,919 - Not to us Conservatives. - Well, bully for you, Councillor Edge. 307 00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:54,873 Ah! There's the Mayor's husband. 308 00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:00,114 - Conservative? - No, Labour. 309 00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:04,391 Alderman Corcoran, about this agenda, I have something to say. 310 00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:08,792 You keep your ears open, mate, and you'll hear what I have to say. 311 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,440 Conservatives are on the right. 312 00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:14,830 Labour are on the left. The Labour have the majority. 313 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:12,428 - Water. - No! Sh! 314 00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:29,471 A glass of water. 315 00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:35,270 A glass of water. 316 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:25,313 Psst! 317 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,076 Hello, gorgeous. 318 00:36:57,720 --> 00:36:59,995 It's a bit crowded in here tonight. 319 00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:02,469 Harry Marshall, the County Chronicle. 320 00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:04,994 Norman Shields, the Times' latest addition. 321 00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:10,594 Herewith conveil this trial, 1953 by grace of our royal. 322 00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:12,910 The agenda which, on the minutes of this, 323 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:16,595 is duly had in the housing committee of suburban development. 324 00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:21,231 The housing committee, which had forgotten the civil low-down, 325 00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:25,313 as duly made, with an asterisk which marks each one separately... 326 00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:27,470 That's the town clerk, Mr Nottage. 327 00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:29,630 Bit of a bore, but he's all right. 328 00:37:29,720 --> 00:37:34,953 And the assistants which grade for this in this county council order, liaison... 329 00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:37,679 Hold the fort for me. I'll be back for the speeches. 330 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:40,638 Other councils take heed, and a deep heed, 331 00:37:40,720 --> 00:37:43,837 for this stands in their own chamber over their worship too 332 00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:46,070 as a mutual agreed fine. 333 00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:49,675 And this as far as the river's concerned, but this doesn't matter. 334 00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:53,594 Now this, underlined and underhand this dale 335 00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:57,434 and Hansard in the Houses of Parliament follows this, 336 00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,954 supported by the industrial on either side. 337 00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:03,635 Now I call upon Hawdrobe Cawl. 338 00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,114 As chairman of the housing committee, 339 00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:10,634 I can say without fear of contradiction, 340 00:38:10,720 --> 00:38:14,190 - our housing record is second to none. - Hear, hear. 341 00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:17,397 I speak for us all on this side of the chamber 342 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,074 when I say how proud we are of... 343 00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:28,719 The building of phase one of our new... 344 00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:31,960 The speeches are on! 345 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:41,272 We have met with opposition, particularly from certain members... 346 00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:43,112 She's on... 347 00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:46,749 - Hear, hear. ...petty restrictions and impediments, 348 00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:51,789 with the single-minded determination that we have always displayed 349 00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:54,838 in our undertakings for the people of this town. 350 00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:57,354 She's on the phone. 351 00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:59,396 Her boyfriend, I suppose. 352 00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:02,631 - It is with great pride... - Boyfriend? 353 00:39:02,720 --> 00:39:06,793 - Major Bartlett. - ... members of this council... 354 00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:08,871 - The Major? - Why not? 355 00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:13,590 He owns a newspaper, he's an MP - she knows what she's doing. 356 00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:15,716 During our term of office, 357 00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:18,268 we have built 1,000 houses. 358 00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:20,794 - I don't believe it! - Sh! 359 00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:26,832 So, Councillor Edge doesn't believe it. 360 00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:31,789 Councillor flaming Edge has the flaming nerve to call me a liar to my face! 361 00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:35,475 I shall ask Councillor flaming Edge to apologise at once! 362 00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:37,790 Point of order! Point of order! 363 00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:41,589 Councillor Edge will feel the back of my hand if he's not careful! 364 00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:44,433 - Mr Mayor, I protest... - Hooliganism! 365 00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:47,193 Vulgar exhibitionism! 366 00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:49,953 Appeal to clause seven! 367 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:53,555 Someone should quell this, sir! 368 00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:57,396 If I could appeal the House... 369 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,438 You're the cause of this! You're the... 370 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,834 He's right! I've got to explain. 371 00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:06,558 - Mrs Mayor! - Shut up! 372 00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:08,995 Alderman Whatshisname... 373 00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:12,311 - They're pleading the rules... - Order, please! 374 00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:15,358 - Your Worship, please... - Oh, dear. 375 00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:18,750 Some must indicate the close of this thunderbowl! 376 00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:20,796 Hey, gabblemouth! Shut up! 377 00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:28,270 I have been insulted by a man unfit to clean my shoes! 378 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:32,672 - It wasn't me, it was that idiot reporter! - It was nothing of the kind! 379 00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:35,514 Trying to wriggle out of it? Yellow-belly! 380 00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:39,036 Point of order! Mr Nottage, do something, please! 381 00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:42,317 I've got none of the civil of this chamber! 382 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:46,075 The whole crowd! I would not suppress this in my own house! 383 00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:49,357 - There is a problem in this chamber. - Mrs Thingummy! 384 00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:52,193 - Ladies and gentlemen! - Mr Macebearer. 385 00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:54,475 Kindly remove this person. 386 00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:05,797 Order! Order, please! 387 00:41:16,720 --> 00:41:20,633 To start a fight like this is absolutely disgraceful! 388 00:41:24,160 --> 00:41:27,072 - I've been stabbed! - You murderer! 389 00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:28,912 - Traitor! - Rabble! 390 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:30,911 Housewife! 391 00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:37,470 - You Tory butcher! - I'm dying. Meeting adjourned. 392 00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:39,871 Meeting adjourned. 393 00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:43,396 - Meeting adjourned. - Oh, boy. What a story! 394 00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:06,989 There. That is the last of the coffee. 395 00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:10,550 Oh, no. I don't want any more coffee. 396 00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:13,438 - I've had about a gallon already. - Come on! 397 00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:18,910 - Now, what happened? - Oh. 398 00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:21,912 Alderman Corcoran said... 399 00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:28,269 He said he was gonna clump Councillor Edge round the earhole. 400 00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:30,510 Well, go on! 401 00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:36,396 # Susannah's a wonderful soul 402 00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:40,268 # Fiddle-di-di Susannah's a wonderful soul # 403 00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:42,874 Have some more coffee, please! 404 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:44,916 No! 405 00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,509 Now. 406 00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:15,273 Please. Go on with the story. 407 00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:20,718 Ha-ha-ha! A lady hits a man on top of the head. 408 00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:24,998 Who hit who on top of the head, you silly little man? 409 00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:29,153 A lady hit a man on top of the head. Oh-ho-ho! 410 00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:34,071 Erm... 411 00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:37,789 - I dunno. - Try and think! 412 00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,189 The meeting was adjourned. That's all. 413 00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:42,510 Oh, take it off. I'll sponge it. 414 00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:48,796 - Hello? - Hello, poppet. 415 00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:51,235 I'm on my way over to you. 416 00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:55,074 Darling, while I was talking to you, there was a riot at the meeting. 417 00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:58,038 - 'Little Norman was...' - Oh, I see. 418 00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:02,716 He had a couple of drinks and I had to get the story out of him somehow. 419 00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:07,032 Eleanor? Could we twist the angle a bit? 420 00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:09,395 Arrange it to suit ourselves? 421 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:11,550 Give it an anti-Labour slant. 422 00:44:12,720 --> 00:44:16,474 It'll appear as Shields' article. And get rid of him. 423 00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:18,755 'See you later. Bye, darling.' 424 00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:20,193 Bye. 425 00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:02,192 Do you know where I could get a bed, please? 426 00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,560 Not at this time of night. 427 00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:13,395 Yes, well, I was just wondering if you could fix me up at your place? 428 00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:15,550 - Police station? - Mm. 429 00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:18,590 Haven't done anything wrong, have you? 430 00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:20,910 Who me? No, no. No! 431 00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,991 Then keep moving! 432 00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:25,275 What, all night? 433 00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:16,109 He did what? 434 00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:18,316 No, Lady Mayor. 435 00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:20,630 Er, yes, Lady Mayor. 436 00:46:20,720 --> 00:46:22,676 I see, Lady Mayor. 437 00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:24,872 Goodbye. 438 00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:28,758 Apparently, we've distorted all the facts. 439 00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:31,274 She says Shields started the whole thing. 440 00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:33,112 Oh, no! 441 00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:35,430 - What are we gonna do? - Sack him. 442 00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:39,433 - Wait a minute. After all, he has got... - What? 443 00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:41,636 Potentialities. 444 00:46:41,720 --> 00:46:44,234 Potentialities? He hasn't come in yet! 445 00:46:59,080 --> 00:47:01,719 Blimey, I've done it again! 446 00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:11,837 Ah! 447 00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:22,279 Ah. Mr Shields? 448 00:48:23,840 --> 00:48:27,435 Could you spare a moment of your valuable time? 449 00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:37,276 Major Bartlett would like to see you in his office. 450 00:48:37,360 --> 00:48:39,669 - What for? - What for?! 451 00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:42,115 We've got a right one here, haven't we? 452 00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:44,236 You've only been on the staff a few days 453 00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:47,676 and you've got the entire town council at each other's throats. 454 00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:50,797 Do you know, Mr Shields, that because of you, 455 00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:55,590 Councillor Quilter is in hospital with concussion, and needed five stitches, 456 00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:58,274 that Councillor Edge, Major Bartlett's agent, 457 00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:00,396 is in bed with nervous prostration, 458 00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:03,756 and that Councillor Mrs Doe Connor has resigned from the council 459 00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:05,990 and from public life? 460 00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:10,039 And why do you think the Major wants to see you in his office? 461 00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:15,392 - The sack? - Good boy! 462 00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:29,555 Morning, Major. 463 00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:33,076 Morning, Eleanor... er, Miss Lampton. 464 00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:38,036 - You wanted to see me, sir? - Simply to congratulate you. 465 00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:44,277 - Congratulate me? - On your splendid article. 466 00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:46,669 Look, it wasn't really me... 467 00:49:46,760 --> 00:49:48,751 it was Miss Lampton. 468 00:49:48,840 --> 00:49:51,957 It was your story, Mr Shields. 469 00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:54,508 Look, fair's fair. 470 00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:58,798 - She... She wrote it. - From the facts you gave me, my dear. 471 00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:02,077 - The credit is all yours. - Well... 472 00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:04,799 - If you say so. - Good. 473 00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:08,395 So we're all agreed that it was entirely your article. 474 00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:10,277 All agreed? 475 00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:12,237 - Yeah. - Good. 476 00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:14,959 Cos it's thoroughly upset the Council. 477 00:50:15,040 --> 00:50:18,510 I suggest you go to the Mayor's house forthwith and apologise. 478 00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:21,751 - On your way, Shields. - Do I have to? 479 00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:25,071 Borrow Pearson's bicycle and this time don't lose it. 480 00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:28,709 - Right, Chief. - And don't keep calling me Chief! 481 00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:30,916 Well, roger and out, then. 482 00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:37,389 You know something? Little Norman's got a thing about you. 483 00:51:01,920 --> 00:51:03,672 - Who threw this? - I did. 484 00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:07,116 What you got in here, Mister? 485 00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:17,073 - Give us a ride on your bike, Mister! - Oi, shorty! 486 00:52:25,720 --> 00:52:30,350 Er, good morning. May I be permitted to speak to Her Worship, my Lady Mayor? 487 00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:32,431 Won't you sit down? 488 00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:34,991 Come on! 489 00:52:55,640 --> 00:52:57,596 Good gracious! 490 00:52:57,680 --> 00:53:01,389 Er, morning, Your Worship. I'm Shields of the Times. 491 00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:03,436 Yes, I remember you. 492 00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:07,552 Er, perhaps you'd like to put your bicycle in the kitchen? 493 00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:18,876 Oh, careful! 494 00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:34,836 Oh, careful! 495 00:53:46,760 --> 00:53:48,716 Oh, oh, oh! 496 00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:03,475 Oh, oh, oh! Just a moment! 497 00:54:13,720 --> 00:54:15,472 Take it! Take it. 498 00:54:27,560 --> 00:54:30,438 Oh, my dear! This is Mr Shields of the Times. 499 00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:33,114 Mr Shields, my daughter Liz. 500 00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:35,430 - How do you do? - How do you do. 501 00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:39,640 Shouldn't we let him down? 502 00:54:39,720 --> 00:54:41,676 Oh, yes. 503 00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:56,511 Put your glasses on, you silly girl! 504 00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:23,878 Thank you. 505 00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:27,516 The kitchen. 506 00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:33,313 Oh, dear, we'd better tidy up. Come along. 507 00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:40,078 - What does he want? - That, my dear, I've yet to find out. Oh! 508 00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:45,829 I-I'm sorry about that. 509 00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:49,799 Still, never mind. It's nice to have a bit of peace and quiet, innit? 510 00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:52,155 Damn and blast! 511 00:55:52,240 --> 00:55:54,196 It's my husband. 512 00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:56,589 Ernest, is that you, dear? 513 00:55:56,680 --> 00:55:58,750 Who the hell did you think it was? 514 00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:05,709 - What maniac left that bike in there? - Mr Shields of the Times. 515 00:56:05,800 --> 00:56:08,917 - Daddy, do keep calm. - I will when I'm good and ready 516 00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:10,911 and not before. 517 00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:14,959 Put your glasses on, girl. You're blinking like a pedestrian crossing. 518 00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:17,272 What do you want? 519 00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:20,989 I came about last night's council meeting. You made a mistake. 520 00:56:21,080 --> 00:56:24,311 Last night? Oh, I'll deal with this, dear. 521 00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:28,029 - You two go and make a cup of coffee. - But I wanted to apologise... 522 00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:32,398 - Come and have a drink, Shields. - Oh, no. I've packed it up. 523 00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:34,436 Last night's council meeting, eh? 524 00:56:34,520 --> 00:56:39,389 Yes. See, I was responsible cos it was me who said it, not Mr Edge. 525 00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:43,917 Of course it was! I knew it all the time. 526 00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:46,355 Do you think I'm deaf, then? 527 00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:51,033 It couldn't have been Edge, anyway. 528 00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:55,113 - Why not? - Cos he hasn't got the guts! 529 00:56:57,120 --> 00:57:00,396 Would you like an item of real interest for your paper? 530 00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:04,473 Oh, yeah! Hold these, hold these. Hang on. 531 00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:07,757 - Oh, dear. - Now then. Here we go. 532 00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:10,798 There is only one man that matters in Tinmouth. 533 00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:15,112 - Only one. - Only one. Alderman Ernie Corcoran. 534 00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:17,191 You're... 535 00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:20,909 And Major blasted Bartlett knows that too! 536 00:57:22,720 --> 00:57:25,598 He won't even have the nerve to turn up on Saturday. 537 00:57:25,680 --> 00:57:28,319 - Where? - The Keir Hardie Estate, fool! 538 00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:31,597 - What's that? - The opening of the thousandth house! 539 00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:34,911 Here. With an election just around the corner, 540 00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:37,753 that will be worth 500 votes to me! 541 00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:44,878 And when that time comes there'll be a new man on the train for Westminster! 542 00:57:45,240 --> 00:57:48,755 - No Major blasted Bartlett. Oh, no! - Not him! 543 00:57:49,600 --> 00:57:51,556 Yeah. Guess who? 544 00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:55,269 I don't know. Guess who? Well, I mean... 545 00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:00,509 It's right on the tip of my tongue. 546 00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:03,952 Ernie Corcoran? 547 00:58:05,040 --> 00:58:06,996 That's right! 548 00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:09,036 Here, off you go. 549 00:58:09,120 --> 00:58:11,076 Don't forget, eh? 550 00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:14,869 Oh, I couldn't forget. I got it all down. 551 00:58:14,960 --> 00:58:17,315 Publish and be damned. 552 00:58:19,160 --> 00:58:21,754 Publish... and be... 553 00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:24,990 damned-oh! 554 00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:35,278 Publish and be... I'll just put me shoes on! 555 00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:43,351 - Won't you stay for some coffee? - I'd better not, thanks. 556 00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:45,590 - Your bike! - Oh, yeah. 557 00:58:48,160 --> 00:58:50,116 It must be awfully exciting. 558 00:58:50,200 --> 00:58:53,749 It's all right going downhill, but uphill gets the back of your legs. 559 00:58:53,840 --> 00:58:55,831 No, working on a newspaper. 560 00:58:55,920 --> 00:58:58,559 - Oh. - The presses and everything. 561 00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:02,553 Oh, that's exciting too. Pop in sometime, I'll show you round. 562 00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:05,598 - Oh, I'd love to. Thank you very much. - All right. 563 00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:07,113 Bye. 564 00:59:07,200 --> 00:59:10,636 Don't you think it would be easier out the back way? 565 00:59:10,720 --> 00:59:12,676 Well, safer. 566 00:59:30,080 --> 00:59:33,675 - Little Norman strikes again. - But it's the truth! 567 00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:37,673 - Mr Corcoran word for word. - You have a lot to learn, sweetie. 568 00:59:39,040 --> 00:59:42,999 Ah, Mr Shields. Would you be so kind as to pop along to the Major's office? 569 00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:45,275 He would like a few words with you. 570 01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:14,388 So, Alderman Corcoran is to be on the train to Westminster? Not me? 571 01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:17,278 - So he said. - You expect me to publish that? 572 01:00:17,360 --> 01:00:20,830 - "Publish and be damned", he told me. - Get out! 573 01:00:20,920 --> 01:00:23,115 - Out? - Out of the office! 574 01:00:23,200 --> 01:00:26,556 Out of this town! Out of the country! 575 01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:33,636 What? Who? 576 01:00:33,720 --> 01:00:37,156 Can't you speak up? Oh, Mr Prime Minister! 577 01:00:37,240 --> 01:00:40,038 Yes, sir. Yes, he's right here, sir. 578 01:00:40,120 --> 01:00:42,315 He wants to speak to you. 579 01:00:43,200 --> 01:00:45,156 Hello, Grandad. 580 01:00:45,240 --> 01:00:47,231 No, it's no good. I don't... 581 01:00:47,320 --> 01:00:50,517 I can't help it. I should be back at Westminster tomorrow. 582 01:00:53,480 --> 01:00:55,914 - He's gone potty. - Mr Prime Minister? 583 01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:58,195 He must have misunderstood. 584 01:00:58,280 --> 01:01:01,989 No, he's a great asset to the newspaper. Yes. 585 01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:05,117 Oh, no, sir. I've promoted him. Yes! 586 01:01:05,200 --> 01:01:09,512 Er... to political and municipal correspondent. 587 01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:12,239 Yes, he's a splendid fellow. 588 01:01:12,320 --> 01:01:14,515 Chip off the old block. 589 01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:17,160 Yes, sir. Right, Mr Prime Minister. 590 01:01:18,600 --> 01:01:21,353 Political... and municipal! Golly! 591 01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:25,274 What do you reckon will be my first assignment? Sir? 592 01:01:25,720 --> 01:01:28,109 Keir Hardie Estate. Tomorrow. 593 01:01:28,200 --> 01:01:31,875 - The thousandth house. - Oh, Corcoran mentioned that. 594 01:01:31,960 --> 01:01:34,235 Said it'd be worth 500 votes to him. 595 01:01:34,320 --> 01:01:38,791 Another thing he said... I shouldn't tell you really! 596 01:01:38,880 --> 01:01:41,348 He reckons you'd be scared to go! 597 01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:44,350 - He did, did he? - Yeah. 598 01:01:44,440 --> 01:01:47,750 - Send Mr Ross in, please. - I'll tell him. 599 01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:59,232 Ah, Mr Ross! Would you be so kind as to pop along to the Major's office? 600 01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:01,470 He'd like a few words with you. 601 01:02:08,720 --> 01:02:10,676 For heaven's sake! 602 01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:15,311 I been promoted! The Major said "My dear lad, you are an asset to us." 603 01:02:17,520 --> 01:02:21,035 So. We have a new political correspondent. 604 01:02:21,120 --> 01:02:26,069 - Political... and municipal. - And municipal. 605 01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:28,993 Rather a long-felt want, don't you think? 606 01:02:29,080 --> 01:02:32,789 - Shouldn't you be at a baby show? - I'm on my way! 607 01:02:32,880 --> 01:02:35,314 Eleanor! Eleanor! 608 01:02:35,400 --> 01:02:38,198 Soon those babies will be adolescent! 609 01:02:38,280 --> 01:02:40,669 Come out tonight. I must celebrate. 610 01:02:40,760 --> 01:02:42,910 Let me take you out to dinner, eh? 611 01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:46,788 - Come on. - Oh, all right. Just this once. 612 01:02:49,880 --> 01:02:51,836 Victoria Hotel? 613 01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:54,150 - Half-past seven? - Right. 614 01:03:30,080 --> 01:03:32,674 I've always wanted to do that! 615 01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:39,514 I'm supposed to be meeting a girlfriend. 616 01:03:39,600 --> 01:03:42,160 But I'm early. 617 01:03:42,240 --> 01:03:46,233 Oh. I'm supposed to be meeting someone too. 618 01:03:46,320 --> 01:03:51,189 If we waited together, you could teach me to wiggle my fingers. 619 01:03:51,280 --> 01:03:53,350 Will you order now, sir? 620 01:03:58,160 --> 01:04:01,311 - What will you have, Miss Corcoran? - Oh, please call me Liz. 621 01:04:01,400 --> 01:04:03,356 Erm, orange squash. 622 01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:06,955 - I don't drink alcohol. - One orange. And? 623 01:04:07,040 --> 01:04:09,190 Two orange... squashes. 624 01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:21,159 Erm... Your dad's quite a character. 625 01:04:21,240 --> 01:04:23,800 I'm glad you liked him. He liked you. 626 01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:25,791 - Eh... - No, honestly! 627 01:04:25,880 --> 01:04:28,314 He said "I think he'll be very useful." 628 01:04:30,960 --> 01:04:34,669 Oh, did he? Well, all that stuff about the Keir Hardie Estate 629 01:04:34,760 --> 01:04:39,038 and Ernest Corcoran being the only man who matters, Bartlett wouldn't publish. 630 01:04:39,120 --> 01:04:42,396 I'm not surprised. It's a Tory newspaper. 631 01:04:42,480 --> 01:04:45,438 Well, I am covering the house opening tomorrow 632 01:04:45,520 --> 01:04:48,159 and they're gonna print what I say. 633 01:05:00,680 --> 01:05:04,070 Oh, darling! I'm so glad you found a little friend 634 01:05:04,160 --> 01:05:08,756 because I just can't make it tonight - I'm stuck with some dreadful office thing. 635 01:05:08,840 --> 01:05:10,876 A press girl's life isn't her own. 636 01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:12,916 Sweetie, I'm so sorry. Believe me. 637 01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:15,753 I'll explain it all in the morning. 638 01:05:15,840 --> 01:05:18,308 Now... have fun, you two. 639 01:05:51,440 --> 01:05:53,874 She's got some lovely clothes. 640 01:05:56,400 --> 01:05:58,436 I'm sorry, Norman. 641 01:05:59,720 --> 01:06:01,676 - Liz? - Yes, Norman? 642 01:06:02,760 --> 01:06:05,320 Put your hands together. 643 01:06:05,400 --> 01:06:07,470 Now, press your fingers down. 644 01:06:07,560 --> 01:06:09,869 No, only the two middle ones. 645 01:06:12,400 --> 01:06:15,472 No. Now, put your glasses on again, eh? 646 01:06:17,040 --> 01:06:21,397 Right. Now, finger exercises begin. Turn around. 647 01:06:58,720 --> 01:06:59,755 No! 648 01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:05,151 Hey! Bricks are for building, not throwing. 649 01:07:05,240 --> 01:07:06,639 Ow! 650 01:07:15,040 --> 01:07:16,519 Thank you. 651 01:07:16,680 --> 01:07:18,636 Ooh! 652 01:07:23,640 --> 01:07:26,393 Sorry, sir. I didn't notice you was in there. 653 01:07:36,600 --> 01:07:38,716 Oh, I nearly did it again! 654 01:07:38,800 --> 01:07:40,711 Aah! Ooh! 655 01:08:18,160 --> 01:08:20,549 Aah! Aah! 656 01:08:42,840 --> 01:08:46,435 - Oh, no! - Shut your eyes and don't look down. 657 01:08:53,280 --> 01:08:54,952 Help! 658 01:09:02,880 --> 01:09:05,235 Are you all right, dear? Come along. 659 01:09:05,320 --> 01:09:08,710 - We'll get a chair. - Oh, thank you. 660 01:09:42,760 --> 01:09:45,433 This great moment through this afternoon 661 01:09:45,520 --> 01:09:48,159 for the launch of this 1,000th of houses 662 01:09:48,240 --> 01:09:50,800 which culminate in the progress of this council. 663 01:09:50,880 --> 01:09:54,589 We're graced with the august presence of Lady Mayor for the gathering 664 01:09:54,680 --> 01:09:56,989 and Major Bartlett the self-made man 665 01:09:57,080 --> 01:10:01,312 which made the newspaper beneficent for the whole humanity. 666 01:10:01,400 --> 01:10:05,598 All the family, great for this house which gave them the slummery 667 01:10:05,680 --> 01:10:07,955 and a pleasant prospect in the heart of it. 668 01:10:08,040 --> 01:10:12,431 And now the mauve scroll for the duke, Major Mayor Bartlett. 669 01:10:24,320 --> 01:10:25,833 Go on! 670 01:10:25,920 --> 01:10:28,957 Your Worship, Mr Town Clerk, ladies and gentlemen. 671 01:10:29,040 --> 01:10:32,589 Never mind the speeches, when do we get into our house? 672 01:10:32,680 --> 01:10:35,035 Now, wait a minute, please. 673 01:10:35,120 --> 01:10:37,076 As your Conservative MP, 674 01:10:37,160 --> 01:10:39,230 I congratulate your Labour corporation 675 01:10:39,320 --> 01:10:43,074 on reaching our target of 1,000 houses... at last. 676 01:10:43,160 --> 01:10:46,596 Your target? Twaddle! You lot just talk. We build. 677 01:10:46,680 --> 01:10:48,636 - Who planned the estate? - Who built it? 678 01:10:48,720 --> 01:10:53,111 Never mind who did what! Cut the politics. When are we gonna get in? 679 01:10:53,200 --> 01:10:56,317 No, no. Please, please. Ladies and gentlemen, 680 01:10:56,400 --> 01:10:58,436 I'm delighted to be here this afternoon. 681 01:10:58,520 --> 01:11:02,877 And now without more ado, I will formally open the 1,000th house 682 01:11:02,960 --> 01:11:04,916 with this golden key. 683 01:11:06,080 --> 01:11:07,957 Key. Key. 684 01:11:09,920 --> 01:11:11,751 - Key? - Key? 685 01:11:11,840 --> 01:11:14,035 The key! 686 01:11:14,120 --> 01:11:15,519 Key? 687 01:11:37,520 --> 01:11:40,159 Now, sit down, everyone, and don't panic. 688 01:11:40,240 --> 01:11:43,437 I know where to find it. Keep talking, Mr Mayor. 689 01:11:43,520 --> 01:11:47,672 Don't sit down, I'm taking the chair away. Ha, ha, ha, ha! 690 01:11:48,680 --> 01:11:52,434 Er... ladies and gentlemen, I would be doing less than my duty, 691 01:11:52,520 --> 01:11:57,514 were I not to thank all the people behind the scenes who have worked so hard 692 01:11:57,600 --> 01:11:59,556 on the, er, plumbing. 693 01:11:59,640 --> 01:12:02,552 And then of course we must thank... 694 01:12:02,640 --> 01:12:05,677 Oh! 695 01:12:08,560 --> 01:12:10,596 Aah! 696 01:12:23,880 --> 01:12:25,632 I got it! The golden key. 697 01:12:25,720 --> 01:12:28,109 I've got it. I've got the key. I've found it. 698 01:12:28,200 --> 01:12:30,395 Everybody on your feet! Come on. 699 01:12:30,480 --> 01:12:33,233 On your feet. It was under the platform. 700 01:12:33,320 --> 01:12:35,515 The golden key. 701 01:12:35,600 --> 01:12:38,956 Everybody into the house. All inside! Come on! 702 01:12:51,200 --> 01:12:54,192 Erm... This is the hall, 703 01:12:54,280 --> 01:12:56,316 and that is the lounge. 704 01:12:57,360 --> 01:12:59,828 - Hall and... - Lounge. 705 01:13:03,080 --> 01:13:04,911 Excuse me. 706 01:13:05,000 --> 01:13:07,468 - Stop pushing at the back! - Stop pushing. 707 01:13:20,320 --> 01:13:23,232 - Hold it! - The bedrooms are upstairs. 708 01:13:23,320 --> 01:13:24,673 Ooh, my back! 709 01:13:29,320 --> 01:13:34,348 This is the larger bedroom, or what I like to call the master bedroom. 710 01:13:54,360 --> 01:13:56,271 Enough in there! Hold it! 711 01:13:57,000 --> 01:14:00,913 This is the small bedroom but there isn't enough room for all of us. 712 01:14:01,000 --> 01:14:02,558 Oh! 713 01:14:08,800 --> 01:14:12,076 - The house is collapsing! - Everybody out! 714 01:14:14,640 --> 01:14:16,312 Hurry! Hurry! 715 01:14:17,160 --> 01:14:19,196 - Everybody out! - Hurry up! 716 01:14:47,000 --> 01:14:50,072 Now look what you've done - you and your politics! 717 01:14:51,440 --> 01:14:53,749 I've got to get back to the paper. Ta-ta. 718 01:14:54,920 --> 01:14:56,990 Well done, Corcoran. 719 01:15:28,880 --> 01:15:32,759 Oh, darling. The Keir Hardie Estate article's on your desk. 720 01:15:32,840 --> 01:15:35,593 - Just sign it, will you? - Sign it? 721 01:15:35,680 --> 01:15:38,114 I haven't even written it yet! 722 01:15:38,200 --> 01:15:41,636 I did it for you. On the Major's instructions. 723 01:15:43,400 --> 01:15:45,470 Erm... I see. 724 01:15:46,480 --> 01:15:49,040 Well... thank you. 725 01:15:50,640 --> 01:15:53,393 - What's the hurry? - Darling, I have a date. 726 01:15:53,480 --> 01:15:56,040 I have to bath, change and be out by eight. 727 01:15:56,120 --> 01:15:59,032 - Where are you going? - Is that your business? 728 01:15:59,120 --> 01:16:01,076 Yes, it is. 729 01:16:01,160 --> 01:16:04,596 Who's this special man that you have got to have a bath for? 730 01:16:04,680 --> 01:16:07,148 You've no right to question me! 731 01:16:07,240 --> 01:16:10,391 Oh, yes, I have-because I love you! 732 01:16:14,040 --> 01:16:16,076 I do love you, Eleanor. 733 01:16:17,520 --> 01:16:21,513 Norman, you must get this nonsense out of your head. 734 01:16:22,080 --> 01:16:25,914 We'll have a nice, long chat later this week, I promise you. 735 01:16:28,040 --> 01:16:32,477 - It's Major Bartlett you're seeing, isn't it? - If you must know, yes, it is. 736 01:16:32,560 --> 01:16:36,473 I thought so. Well... he is the boss, isn't he? 737 01:16:37,560 --> 01:16:40,120 And my future husband. 738 01:17:13,200 --> 01:17:14,758 Oh. 739 01:17:14,840 --> 01:17:17,752 Oh, I thought it was... 740 01:17:18,320 --> 01:17:21,437 I was just passing. You said to drop in if... 741 01:17:22,880 --> 01:17:24,836 Did I? 742 01:17:24,920 --> 01:17:29,198 Oh, yes. Erm... Yes. 743 01:17:29,280 --> 01:17:33,114 If you're busy writing your article about this afternoon, I'll... 744 01:17:33,200 --> 01:17:35,316 No, not really busy. 745 01:17:35,920 --> 01:17:37,956 It's been written for me. 746 01:17:38,040 --> 01:17:40,156 Major Bartlett's approval slip. 747 01:17:44,160 --> 01:17:47,789 "The opening of the 1,000th house on the Keir Hardie Estate 748 01:17:47,880 --> 01:17:50,394 "was a happy occasion for all concerned. 749 01:17:50,480 --> 01:17:54,996 "Major Bartlett's witty speech... Golden key to happiness?! 750 01:17:55,760 --> 01:17:57,990 "Delighted family take up residence?!" 751 01:17:58,080 --> 01:18:00,230 It's a load of lies. 752 01:18:00,320 --> 01:18:04,074 - Well, you know. - What are you going to do about it? 753 01:18:04,160 --> 01:18:06,913 - What can I do? - Don't let them get away with it. 754 01:18:07,000 --> 01:18:10,037 - Make them print the truth! - I can't! 755 01:18:10,120 --> 01:18:14,113 - What about Major Bartlett? - Blast Major Bartlett and party politics! 756 01:18:14,200 --> 01:18:17,590 - What about your father? - With all due respect, blast him too! 757 01:18:17,680 --> 01:18:19,955 Oh, Liz! 758 01:18:20,040 --> 01:18:22,270 Anyway, they'd never print it. 759 01:18:24,560 --> 01:18:28,109 They would if you put on Major Bartlett's approval slip. 760 01:18:41,120 --> 01:18:42,678 Erm... 761 01:18:42,760 --> 01:18:47,356 Just a minute, erm... Disaster hits the Keir Hardie Estate. 762 01:18:48,160 --> 01:18:50,116 House falls down. 763 01:18:55,160 --> 01:18:57,674 - Morning, Rigby. - Morning, Major. 764 01:18:59,920 --> 01:19:03,708 - What are you doing in my office? - Have you gone stark, staring mad? 765 01:19:03,800 --> 01:19:06,997 - Cutting both our throats? - What are you talking about? 766 01:19:07,080 --> 01:19:08,593 Look. 767 01:19:11,800 --> 01:19:14,439 "Both political parties claim credit..." 768 01:19:14,520 --> 01:19:18,035 - This isn't the article I authorised! - So who the hell wrote it? 769 01:19:18,120 --> 01:19:22,875 - It could only be one person. - Shields. 770 01:19:22,960 --> 01:19:26,350 Bartlett, you get rid of that little idiot reporter of yours 771 01:19:26,440 --> 01:19:29,398 or some of your unsavoury behaviour 772 01:19:29,480 --> 01:19:32,119 will be exposed at the forthcoming election. 773 01:19:32,200 --> 01:19:35,875 So there's going to be mudslinging at the election, is there? 774 01:19:35,960 --> 01:19:37,712 Anyway, what election? 775 01:19:37,800 --> 01:19:41,270 Let's not kid ourselves. You know very well what election. 776 01:19:41,360 --> 01:19:44,670 Take my advice-get rid of Shields! 777 01:19:48,560 --> 01:19:50,835 This article-how did it get in? 778 01:19:50,920 --> 01:19:54,230 - It had your approval slip on it. - Absolute disaster. 779 01:19:54,320 --> 01:19:58,313 Take Shields off politics and put him out of harm's way-entertainments. 780 01:19:58,400 --> 01:20:00,356 Yes. 781 01:20:01,600 --> 01:20:04,068 - Good morning, Major. - Get out! 782 01:20:04,160 --> 01:20:07,675 - About housing... - Get out, Miss Popkiss! Get out! 783 01:20:07,760 --> 01:20:09,716 I must get rid of that woman. 784 01:20:12,440 --> 01:20:14,431 Get out! 785 01:20:16,000 --> 01:20:18,036 Not you, dear lad. 786 01:20:24,080 --> 01:20:27,629 Once again, I must congratulate you. An excellent article. 787 01:20:28,320 --> 01:20:30,709 Really? 788 01:20:30,800 --> 01:20:34,759 Well, it isn't exactly good for you, is it? 789 01:20:36,920 --> 01:20:40,515 - Or Mr Corcoran. - That's what I like about the article. 790 01:20:40,600 --> 01:20:43,114 It's so entirely unprejudiced. 791 01:20:43,200 --> 01:20:47,398 So in future you'll be covering entertainments. 792 01:20:47,480 --> 01:20:50,995 - What, as well as politics? - Instead of. 793 01:20:52,520 --> 01:20:54,875 But I like writing about politics. 794 01:20:54,960 --> 01:20:58,111 It could give me a chance to help someone. 795 01:20:58,200 --> 01:21:01,476 What better way to help the townspeople than making them happy? 796 01:21:01,560 --> 01:21:03,551 Entertainments. 797 01:21:04,680 --> 01:21:06,796 I like politics. 798 01:21:07,680 --> 01:21:10,399 - I'll ask Grandad. - Oh, no, no! 799 01:21:10,480 --> 01:21:13,870 If you can find a way of promoting entertainments, 800 01:21:13,960 --> 01:21:16,269 this newspaper will back you all the way. 801 01:21:17,280 --> 01:21:19,953 What, you mean I can arrange 802 01:21:20,040 --> 01:21:22,270 and, erm, organise things? 803 01:21:23,640 --> 01:21:25,596 Anything you like. 804 01:23:04,280 --> 01:23:06,510 I didn't hear you ring. 805 01:23:07,680 --> 01:23:10,877 - You're Willoughby. - I know who I am. Who are you? 806 01:23:10,960 --> 01:23:15,351 - I'm Shields of the Times. - A reporter? How delicious! 807 01:23:15,440 --> 01:23:18,591 - I'm in charge of entertainment. - There isn't any. 808 01:23:18,680 --> 01:23:21,478 Except what we make ourselves. 809 01:23:21,560 --> 01:23:24,154 What are your plans for holiday crowds this year? 810 01:23:24,240 --> 01:23:27,277 Same as last year and, funnily enough, the year before that. 811 01:23:27,360 --> 01:23:29,316 - None. - None? 812 01:23:29,400 --> 01:23:31,550 But this is a holiday resort. 813 01:23:31,640 --> 01:23:33,596 This is a last resort! 814 01:23:33,680 --> 01:23:37,150 We've got a chocolate machine with no chocolate in it, 815 01:23:37,240 --> 01:23:40,471 two speak-your-weight machines with the voices gone, 816 01:23:40,560 --> 01:23:44,314 and we've got a distorting mirror that's cracked. 817 01:23:44,400 --> 01:23:47,915 On Major Bartlett's authority, our paper will back you all the way. 818 01:23:48,000 --> 01:23:51,515 Major Bartlett? That's interesting. All the way? 819 01:23:52,400 --> 01:23:54,356 Er, Memo to Ross. 820 01:23:55,360 --> 01:23:58,636 As my election campaign has now started, 821 01:23:58,720 --> 01:24:00,836 you will virtually be in charge. 822 01:24:02,360 --> 01:24:04,510 What do you want, Shields? 823 01:24:04,600 --> 01:24:09,549 I have had the most marvellous idea! And Willoughby's going to help. 824 01:24:09,640 --> 01:24:13,110 - Who's Willoughby? - The town's entertainments officer. 825 01:24:13,200 --> 01:24:16,431 Oh. Well, type it in triplicate and submit it in the usual way. 826 01:24:16,520 --> 01:24:20,479 I can't wait for all that. This is a beauty contest. With girls. 827 01:24:20,560 --> 01:24:23,518 Not in keeping with the dignity of the newspaper. 828 01:24:23,600 --> 01:24:26,034 Dignity of the... What do you reckon? 829 01:24:26,120 --> 01:24:31,274 A beauty contest could be very dignified, Major. I could enter for it myself. 830 01:24:33,320 --> 01:24:35,515 - All right, then. - Yes. 831 01:24:35,600 --> 01:24:37,511 A dignified beauty contest. 832 01:24:38,400 --> 01:24:41,836 - Busy, Major? - Oh, just organising a beauty contest. 833 01:24:41,920 --> 01:24:44,559 Oh? 834 01:24:44,640 --> 01:24:47,473 - How interesting. - It was Shields' idea. 835 01:24:47,560 --> 01:24:49,755 Thank you, Miss Fairchild. 836 01:24:53,160 --> 01:24:56,436 If you want me, Major, you've only to buzz. 837 01:24:56,520 --> 01:25:00,149 So you're using the new girl now, instead of Miss Popkiss? 838 01:25:00,240 --> 01:25:02,993 Yes, she's much faster. 839 01:25:03,080 --> 01:25:05,036 That I can well believe. 840 01:25:05,120 --> 01:25:07,588 - Now, darling... - Erm... 841 01:25:07,680 --> 01:25:11,309 Er, shall I carry on with my beauty contest column? 842 01:25:11,400 --> 01:25:15,279 - Yes, do, Shields. - I'll do about 500 words... 843 01:25:17,240 --> 01:25:19,390 Beauty contest? Twaddle! 844 01:25:19,480 --> 01:25:23,393 Then he has the gall to criticise the council for no summer shows. 845 01:25:23,480 --> 01:25:27,029 Cracked distorting mirrors, chocolate machines with no chocolate! 846 01:25:27,120 --> 01:25:29,076 It's a dirty, filthy libel! 847 01:25:29,160 --> 01:25:31,799 - Dirty, filthy truth, Daddy. - Liz, dear! 848 01:25:31,880 --> 01:25:33,836 It seems like that to me. 849 01:25:33,920 --> 01:25:37,879 Holiday-makers don't come here. What's the use of a beauty contest? 850 01:25:37,960 --> 01:25:40,838 - I think Norman's right. - Norman? 851 01:25:40,920 --> 01:25:44,799 - Perishing little halfwit! - He might not sound clever to you, 852 01:25:44,880 --> 01:25:47,633 and perhaps he doesn't put things well, 853 01:25:47,720 --> 01:25:50,917 but he says something because he believes in it, 854 01:25:51,000 --> 01:25:52,956 not to get something from it. 855 01:25:53,040 --> 01:25:57,909 If I thought for one instant that you were getting interested in that midget reporter, 856 01:25:58,000 --> 01:26:00,070 I'd have him out of this town so fast... 857 01:26:00,160 --> 01:26:02,310 Careful. You'll have one of your attacks. 858 01:26:26,800 --> 01:26:29,075 Hurry up. There's not much time. 859 01:26:29,160 --> 01:26:31,435 That's all right. We're all ready now. 860 01:26:31,520 --> 01:26:36,150 - Girls all here? - I'll count 'em. There should be seven. 861 01:26:39,240 --> 01:26:41,196 What happened? 862 01:26:41,280 --> 01:26:43,350 Erm... only six. 863 01:26:44,880 --> 01:26:48,316 - Liz! - I just came to wish you luck, Norman. 864 01:26:48,400 --> 01:26:51,278 If there's anything I could do to help... 865 01:26:55,800 --> 01:26:58,917 Hey, Liz, you can help. 866 01:27:00,120 --> 01:27:02,236 Will you be a contestant? 867 01:27:03,240 --> 01:27:05,390 One of the girls hasn't turned up. 868 01:27:07,600 --> 01:27:10,239 - Do you think I dare? - Why not? 869 01:27:10,320 --> 01:27:12,834 Come along now. don't let's talk rubbish. 870 01:27:14,160 --> 01:27:17,197 You're a bit late! We were about to put a substitute in. 871 01:27:18,280 --> 01:27:20,350 What, her? 872 01:27:20,440 --> 01:27:22,476 Right, Liz. Get changed. 873 01:27:22,560 --> 01:27:25,711 - But I haven't got any... - Well, borrow some! 874 01:27:26,960 --> 01:27:28,916 Right, it's time. 875 01:27:29,000 --> 01:27:33,278 Don't forget-you're in charge backstage because I'll be compering. 876 01:27:33,360 --> 01:27:35,351 So good luck. 877 01:27:47,760 --> 01:27:50,957 Chocolates? Cigarettes? 878 01:27:53,000 --> 01:27:55,036 Cold drinks? 879 01:27:55,920 --> 01:27:58,388 All those posters and nobody's interested. 880 01:27:58,480 --> 01:28:02,632 Men not interested in girls - I can't believe it! It's unhealthy. 881 01:28:14,760 --> 01:28:16,910 The... The judges. 882 01:28:17,000 --> 01:28:19,036 Look after 'em. 883 01:28:31,960 --> 01:28:33,951 Police! Police! 884 01:28:34,040 --> 01:28:37,635 Over the road! There's girls walking about with hardly any clothes on! 885 01:28:37,720 --> 01:28:41,156 Don't go over there! It's just like a harem. 886 01:28:41,240 --> 01:28:44,073 They've all gone raving mad over there. 887 01:29:06,600 --> 01:29:08,556 Right, stand by! 888 01:29:09,280 --> 01:29:11,316 Everybody on stage! 889 01:29:16,280 --> 01:29:18,669 - Well done, Norman! - Ready? 890 01:29:18,760 --> 01:29:21,399 Give me a few seconds before curtain up. 891 01:29:21,480 --> 01:29:23,835 Where's the pianist? No pianist! 892 01:29:23,920 --> 01:29:26,798 - You'll have to play. - I'm the compere down there! 893 01:29:26,880 --> 01:29:28,871 And the pianist, down there. 894 01:30:25,240 --> 01:30:27,196 Miss Elizabeth Rivers. 895 01:30:38,800 --> 01:30:41,951 Miss Penelope Squires. 896 01:30:52,880 --> 01:30:56,236 And now... Miss Ruby Fairchild. 897 01:31:34,120 --> 01:31:38,989 And now a young lady who, when you see her, 898 01:31:39,080 --> 01:31:40,957 will take your breath away. 899 01:31:42,200 --> 01:31:44,395 Like that. 900 01:31:45,640 --> 01:31:49,713 Luscious, scrumptiously attractive and... beautiful. 901 01:31:50,800 --> 01:31:52,756 Miss Liz Corcoran. 902 01:31:57,440 --> 01:31:59,396 I can't! 903 01:31:59,480 --> 01:32:01,630 You can. 904 01:32:19,400 --> 01:32:21,356 Bring down the curtain. 905 01:32:27,160 --> 01:32:31,199 Now, ladies and gentlemen, may I have your voting cards? 906 01:32:32,440 --> 01:32:34,590 I think you'll find we're all agreed. 907 01:32:40,400 --> 01:32:41,833 Norman! 908 01:32:53,200 --> 01:32:55,031 The winner. 909 01:32:56,360 --> 01:32:59,432 - Ruby Fairchild. - It's rigged. The Major. 910 01:33:00,840 --> 01:33:03,070 Don't worry, it's none of our business. 911 01:33:04,040 --> 01:33:05,996 Ruby Fairchild. 912 01:33:08,440 --> 01:33:11,398 Ladies and gentlemen, on this piece of paper 913 01:33:11,480 --> 01:33:13,835 is the name of the Tinmouth beauty queen. 914 01:33:14,840 --> 01:33:18,389 When the curtains part, you will see her on the throne. 915 01:33:48,760 --> 01:33:50,910 Please leave me alone. 916 01:33:59,800 --> 01:34:03,679 Now, er, gentlemen, if you'll just... Please! Gentlemen, if you... 917 01:34:03,760 --> 01:34:07,070 - Er, gentlemen, please! - Ruby! 918 01:34:07,160 --> 01:34:09,754 Ooh! Eleanor. 919 01:34:09,840 --> 01:34:11,273 Ooh! 920 01:34:12,760 --> 01:34:15,877 - What have you to say about this? - Keep out of this! 921 01:34:15,960 --> 01:34:18,758 Gentlemen, I would like to say a few words. 922 01:34:18,840 --> 01:34:20,796 Gentlemen, conduct yourselves 923 01:34:20,880 --> 01:34:24,555 in the dignified manner to which this town is accustomed. 924 01:34:24,640 --> 01:34:27,677 This demonstration is an example of Labour hooliganism 925 01:34:27,760 --> 01:34:29,830 and it will not be tolerated. 926 01:34:29,920 --> 01:34:33,037 That, Bartlett, is a remark that you will live to regret. 927 01:34:33,120 --> 01:34:35,350 Our Labour stock has never stood higher. 928 01:34:35,440 --> 01:34:40,355 This trumped-up beauty contest is nothing more than a Tory conspiracy. 929 01:34:40,440 --> 01:34:44,319 You're sabotaging the years of sacrifice I've given this constituency. 930 01:34:44,400 --> 01:34:47,836 Sacrifice? You've only ever spoken once in the House of Commons 931 01:34:47,920 --> 01:34:50,878 and that was to ask for a window to be opened. 932 01:34:50,960 --> 01:34:54,270 - Look, I'm going now. - Yes. You're fired. 933 01:34:55,640 --> 01:34:59,076 That doesn't surprise me. But before I do go, 934 01:34:59,160 --> 01:35:02,516 don't you two ever think of anybody but yourselves? 935 01:35:02,600 --> 01:35:05,876 I mean, you're both intelligent men. 936 01:35:05,960 --> 01:35:09,032 - I wish I had your brains. - Turn on the mike. 937 01:35:10,280 --> 01:35:12,874 You're an MP. 938 01:35:12,960 --> 01:35:14,951 - And I soon will be. - Who knows? 939 01:35:15,040 --> 01:35:18,396 - Over my dead body! - Whoa! What's the matter with you? 940 01:35:18,480 --> 01:35:21,472 'Why don't you leave off? All you do is bicker.' 941 01:35:21,560 --> 01:35:23,835 Now let me have my say. 942 01:35:25,240 --> 01:35:27,879 As I see it, you two are like... 943 01:35:29,440 --> 01:35:32,432 captains of a sort of people's ship of life. 944 01:35:32,520 --> 01:35:37,833 'And they rely on you two to steer them on a safe course.' 945 01:35:38,720 --> 01:35:43,430 But because of your own selfishness, you keep on taking them into storms 946 01:35:43,520 --> 01:35:46,717 with big waves. 947 01:35:46,800 --> 01:35:51,112 And if you and all the other politicians and the leaders of the world 948 01:35:51,200 --> 01:35:55,591 don't work together, you know, one of these days... 949 01:35:55,680 --> 01:35:57,830 Open the curtains! 950 01:35:57,920 --> 01:36:00,036 ...you're gonna drown all the people. 951 01:36:00,760 --> 01:36:05,595 Here. I been talking a lot, ain't I? 952 01:36:05,680 --> 01:36:08,069 I have to get off me soapbox. 953 01:36:10,560 --> 01:36:14,348 Oh, well, I'm going back to me pater's town in Westminster. 954 01:36:15,120 --> 01:36:17,270 Goodbye, sir. 955 01:36:35,280 --> 01:36:37,840 Well done, Norman. Go on, take a bow. 956 01:36:40,960 --> 01:36:43,076 - Bye, Robin. - Bye-bye. 957 01:36:48,720 --> 01:36:50,836 Give those to Liz for me. 958 01:37:07,400 --> 01:37:08,992 Norman. 959 01:37:12,680 --> 01:37:14,352 - I'm going, Liz. - Why? 960 01:37:14,440 --> 01:37:17,113 - I don't think I've been successful here. - I do. 961 01:37:17,200 --> 01:37:20,636 Daddy and Major Bartlett are having a drink at the hotel. 962 01:37:20,720 --> 01:37:23,917 - That's a good start. - Yeah, a good start. 963 01:37:24,000 --> 01:37:26,195 - Bye. - Norman! 964 01:37:27,760 --> 01:37:31,150 - Couldn't I come with you? - What about your dad? 965 01:37:31,240 --> 01:37:33,993 He'd lose a daughter but he'd gain a son. 966 01:37:34,080 --> 01:37:36,355 Yeah. 967 01:37:36,440 --> 01:37:38,715 Come on, we'll miss the train. 968 01:37:41,400 --> 01:37:44,676 - We've missed it! - No, we haven't! 73429

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.