Original subtitles

[ Upbeat music plays ]

>> Gumball: Behold, Darwin -- the grossest thing ever! I shall name it the gross jar!

It will be my legacy to the world! It's the coolest thing ever.

>> Darwin: But i thought my tap-dancing dolphin impression

was the coolest thing ever. [ Chirping ] >> Gumball: Yeah, but this just

literally blew you out of the water. >> Darwin: [ Pbht! ]

What's inside? >> Gumball: Well... Ah-choo!

Ah-choo! Ah-choo! [ Birds cawing ]

>> [ Grunts ]

>> Gumball: [ Sniffs ]

[ Ting! ] >> Darwin: O-Kay. So, what are you gonna do

with it? >> Gumball: Yeah, well, that's the problem.

I don't really know. It needs a final touch to make it a true masterpiece.

[ Beep ] [ Both gasp ] >> Both: Nuke it!

>> Dad: Could you tell me when my coffee's ready? I'll be in the garden.

>> Darwin: What's going on? [ Electricity crackles ] [ Pop! ]

[ Both scream ] >> Gumball: It's looking at me! >> Darwin: Dude, where did you

find its eyeball? >> Gumball: I-i didn't. It must be the atomic power of

the microwave. [ Ding! ] >> Darwin: It looks like it's

alive.

>> Mama. >> Darwin: Did you hear that? It called you "mom."

>> Gumball: Hmm. Then i guess that makes you its dad.

>> Darwin: Its dad? Aah! What are we gonna do?!

I don't want to be a baby father! Let's ditch it!

>> Gumball: Shh! don't say stuff like that in front of him!

I mean, come on. He's kind of cute. Hello, little guy.

>> [ Coos ] >> Gumball: don't you worry about a thing.

Me and your father will take care of everything. Darwin!

[ Honk! ] Where do you think you're going?!

>> Darwin: Uh...Buy some stuff? At the shop? >> Gumball: What are you doing?!

He's your son. >> [ Cooing ] >> Darwin: [ Sniffles ]

[ Crying ] I'm sorry, little guy. From now on, I'll always be

there for you. >> [ Coos ] >> Gumball: [ Gasps ]

Darwin, i think he's ready for his first steps. >> Darwin: Wait!

Go ahead. Come on. don't be shy. Come to daddy. Aww!

He's kind of got my eyes. don't you think? >> [ Roars ]

>> Darwin: Aah! He's got my top lip, too! >> Gumball: Dude, it's what

babies do. He's just suckling. >> Darwin: It's not suckling!

It's eating! >> Gumball: Okay, relax. He's just playing.

He'll come off on his own. >> Darwin: Okay. Okay. Okay. Aah!

His teeth are sinking in! >> Gumball: Okay, that's enough! Bad baby!

Stop mauling your father and get back in your jar this insta-- >> [ Roars ]

>> Gumball: Aah! Aah! He's got my neck! >> Darwin: I know what it is.

He must be hungry. [ Dishes break ] [ Muttering ]

Okay, so it doesn't like fruits, vegetables, or cereal. But it does like pigeons, rats,

raccoons, seagulls, and the mailman's butt. >> Anais: What was all that

noise? What are you two up -- aah! What is that thing?!

>> Gumball: It's our baby. >> Anais: What are you talking about?

Where did you find it? >> Darwin: It came out of the microwave.

>> Anais: Are you sure it didn't come out of the toilet? It's disgusting.

>> Gumball: They always look a bit funny when they're just born.

>> Darwin: He's actually very advanced for his age. >> Gumball: You should have seen

him catch that seagull. >> Anais: What?! You let that monster out?

>> Gumball: Look, i was trying to be nice here, but you better stop insulting our child or i

don't know [Singsong voice] what I'll do. >> Anais: It's not a child!

And what is it doing in my high chair? >> Gumball: [ Gasps ]

don't listen to her, Kenneth. She's just jealous. >> Anais: You called it

"Kenneth"? >> Gumball: Baby needs a name. Look, like it or not, you're

Kenneth's aunt. Now, we're gonna buy more pigeon traps.

You babysit. >> Anais: Are you crazy? Where do you think you're --

[ door closes ] Ugh! >> [ Chittering ]

>> Anais: I guess you're kind of ugly cute. What kind of animal are you?

Wow. Those are pretty pointy teeth. >> [ Roars ]

>> Anais: What the -- aah! [ Door closes ]

>> Gumball: [ Singsong voice ] Kenneth, we're home! Ah! What a mess.

>> Darwin: Where's anais? >> Gumball: Yech. I knew she'd bail.

>> Darwin: Gumball, has Kenneth grown? >> Gumball: Grown into a

troublemaker. This place is a mess! Naughty Kenneth.

[ Doorbell rings ] >> Parcel for the wattersons. [ Door opens ]

Hi. Waah! Whoa! >> Darwin: Did Kenneth just eat the mailman?

>> Gumball: Uh, no, no, no. That's not possible. Not my Kenneth.

>> Darwin: Well, where is he, then? >> Gumball: What do i know --

mailing? I'm more worried about Kenneth. Does it look to you like he's

gaining weight? >> Darwin: I'm more worried about his attitude.

This boy needs discipline. >> Gumball: [ Sighs ] I think we need parental advice.

So, um, we're doing this school project. >> Dad: Uh-huh.

>> Gumball: And, uh, we've got to look after this, uh, gross dog thing.

>> Dad: I'm with you. >> Gumball: And we need your help disciplining it.

>> Dad: Okay. It's pretty simple -- kind of like children, actually.

The first thing you have to do is let it know you're the pack leader, so you look them in the

eyes and tell them firmly you're the boss. [ Whip! ]

Now, you've been a naughty doggy! >> Gumball: Dad, he's got your

finger. >> Dad: Well, that's to be expected, son.

The best thing to do is to remain calm and reassert your authority.

>> Gumball: Yeah, but it seems to be eating your arm. >> Dad: [ Laughs ]

It's just testing its boundaries. The worst you can do is give it

attention for negative behavior. I have always found that a positive-reinforcement approach

is the best way to -- >> both: Dad! >> Gumball: Kenneth's eaten dad!

>> Darwin: Probably anais, too! >> Gumball: We've got to save them!

>> [ Gulps ] [ Roars ] >> Gumball: We'll save them

later! [ Both scream ] [ Door slams ]

>> Mom: Hey, kids. Sorry I'm late. I -- ow! What the --

>> gumball: Mom, something terrible in the garden became in the microwave and became alive

and swallowed the mailman and dad and anais and wanted to eat us, and we got here, and --

>> mom: What? >> Gumball: [ Panting ] >> Darwin: What gumball is

trying to say is the microwave monster [Babbling] everyone! It's horrible and it's in the

garden and it's really dangerous! We need to build an army and...

[ Babbling ] >> Mom: Okay, okay. Slow down, boys.

Where's your father? >> Darwin: [ Gasps ] [ Both scream ]

>> Both: It turned into a monster, and now it's coming to get us!

>> Mom: Oh, for goodness' sake. It's probably just a raccoon. I'll go and check.

You stay here. >> Both: No! don't go outside! [ Crickets chirping ]

>> Mom: Richard? Where are you? What's wrong with the kids? They haven't been this scared

since you made them wax your back. Richard, you better not be

trying to scare me. [ Honk! ] [ Gasps ]

[ Chuckling ] Oh! Aww. Richard? Richard, stop playing games.

>> [ Growling ] >> Mom: Richard? Aaaaaaah!

>> Gumball: Mo-o-o-o-o-m! >> Darwin: This is all our fault!

It's because we're bad parents! >> Gumball: Kenneth has grown up to be a troubled child.

>> Darwin: A troubled child that eats people! We've got to do something!

>> Gumball: You're right. No video games for a week. Uh, grounded for two weeks?

[ Voice breaking ] Okay. Let's send him to boarding school.

>> Darwin: Stop being so soft! We have to stop him now! >> Gumball: [ Crying ]

[ Owl hoots ] What was that? >> Darwin: It's an owl.

>> Gumball: Oh. [ Snap! ] What was that?

>> Darwin: A twig. >> Gumball: Oh. [ Patter! Patter! Patter! ]

>> Darwin: What was that? >> Gumball: That's my butt cheek quivering with fear.

>> Darwin: Really? >> Gumball: Yeah. Look. [ Patter! Patter! Patter! ]

>> [ Growls ] [ Both scream ] [ Roars ]

>> Gumball: Aah! Darwin, this is our chance! >> Both: Yaah!

>> Ow! >> Ow! >> Ow!

>> Ow! >> Ow! >> Ow!

>> Ow! >> Ow! >> Ow! Ow! Ow!

>> Ow! Ow! [ Both gasp ] >> Darwin: Are you all right in

there? >> Dad: Partly digested and a little cramped but otherwise

fine. Just get us out of here, please! >> [ Roars ]

[ Both scream ] >> Gumball: Dude, we got to do something.

>> Darwin: I got it! Tie the hosepipe around me so that all i have to do is dive

into his mouth, grab everyone, make a human chain... >> Gumball: Uh...

>> Darwin: ...And when i say, "okay," you simply pull us out. Got it? Let's go!

>> Darwin: Yeah! Did it! Everybody, hold tight. Okay, gumball, now pull!

>> Gumball: Gotcha! [ Grunting ] Okay, this isn't working.

>> Darwin: Well, think of something else! Our lives depend on you!

>> Gumball: Uh, i hate to tell you this, but i got nothin'. >> [ Roars ]

>> Gumball: No, no, no! Kenneth, please don't eat me! Please!

If you like eating people, i-I'll bring you some, like a good mother.

And, uh, maybe a salad once in a while because you're starting to get a little bit chubby.

[ Pop! ] [ Gasps ] >> Here's your package.

Have a nice day. >> All: Gumball! >> Darwin: Great idea, turning

on the hose. >> Gumball: Oh, pfft. [ Chuckling ] It was nothing.

Just quick thinking, you know? I-i work best when I'm under pressure.

It definitely wasn't an accident or anything. >> [ Cooing ]

>> Gumball: Aww, Kenneth. Look at you now. You're as sweet as when you were

born. Who could imagine he'd turn into such a --

>> dad: Aah! >> Gumball: Dad, no! >> Dad: Are you kidding me?!

That thing ate me and barfed me! I'm gonna end this right now! >> Gumball: B-but he didn't mean

it. It's just that we've been bad parents!

>> Anais: Gumball, that thing is a man-eating monster! >> Gumball: Yes, maybe he eats

people once in a while, but maybe, just maybe, he needs some love and understanding.

We are responsible for the future generations. We make the children that will

become the world of tomorrow. don't blame Kenneth. Blame yourselves, because you're

my parents, too. >> Mom: What?! >> Gumball: Look at him.

He won't hurt anyone now. >> Darwin: Doesn't this poor creature deserve a second

chance? >> All: Aww! Okay. >> Gumball: Trust me, guys --

this time, it'll be different. [ Sirens wailing, helicopter blades whirring ]

>> [ Roars ] >> Darwin: On second thought, we probably should have listened to

dad.

[ Man speaking indistinctly ] >> Dad: [ Groans ] When's someone gonna invent a TV

that flicks its own channels? Hey, honey. How was work? >> Mom: [ Snores ]

>> Dad: Is dinner ready yet? >> Gumball: Hey, mom, dad, guess what!

I got a b-plus in home ec today! Miss simian said my soufflé was divine.

>> Dad: Yeah. Yeah, that's very interesting. [ Whip! ]

>> Gumball: I also learned how to do a cartwheel. You guys want to see?

[ Sloop! ] >> Dad: Yeah, yeah. I'm very proud of you, son.

[ Whip! ] >> Gumball: Huh? [ Whip! ]

[ Whip! ] [ Whip! ] [ Whip! ]

[ Whip! ] [ Whip! Whip! Whip! Whip! Whip! ]

I also crashed your car on the run from the police after i robbed a bank.

>> Dad: Uh-huh. Good for you. >> Gumball: [ Whistling ] Aah! My leg! It's broken!

I probably need to get it cut off! Aah-haah!

And yet nobody cares. [ Whip! ] What do i have to do to get

noticed in this house?! >> Mom: Ooh! What? [ Door closes ]

[ Sighs ] Richard, i think gumball needs some attention.

Maybe you should go and play catch. >> Dad: Yeah, yeah, we're all

very proud of you, Nicole. >> Mom: [ Sighs ]

[ Thud! ] [ Whip! ] >> Gumball: What?

>> Mom: Listen, honey, I'm sorry you've not been getting enough attention lately.

I'm going to make it up to you starting tomorrow. >> Gumball: [ Scoffs ]

Why not now?! >> Mom: [ Snoring ] >> Gumball: [ Groans ]

[ School bell rings ] So, uh, penny, want to hang out after school?

I'll show you my cartwheel. >> Darwin: I've seen it. It's not as good as it sounds.

>> Sorry, gumball. It's cheerleader tryouts tonight.

I've been practicing all year for this. Another time, though.

>> Gumball: [ Laughs ] Okay. No problem. I love you, penny.

>> What? >> Gumball: What? Oh, nothing. I just said i love peanuts.

[ Laughs ] Yeah, peanuts. They taste so good. >> Gumball, i am a peanut.

That's like me saying i like to eat cats. Maybe you should think twice

about the things you say. >> Gumball: But i did think twice.

>> Well, maybe you need to think three times. Anyway, see you later.

[ Whip! ] >> Gumball: Wait! I didn't say, "peanuts"!

I said, "ponies"! I love ponies! They taste of nuts!

Oh, whatever. >> Darwin: Maybe you need to talk with your mouth shut.

>> Mom: Is that really the way you talk to girls? [ Both scream ]

>> Gumball: Mom?! What are you doing here?! >> Mom: Well, you said you

wanted more attention, so i followed you to school. But by the looks of it, you need

more than attention. You need serious help, little man.

>> Gumball: Aw, mom, if you're seriously going to follow us around all day, do you really

need to hold my hand? >> Mom: Yes. >> Darwin: Yay! Mom's at school!

>> Mom: And it's not all day. It's all week. I took the night shift.

>> Gumball: [ Groans ] [ Laughter ] >> Hey, mom, need a diaper for

that baby? [ Laughter ] >> Gumball: [ High-pitched ]

Ooh, actually, i am fully potty trained, so check your facts, all right?

[ Farts ] [ Laughter ] >> You know you got them good

when their voices go high. >> Mom: Gumball, are you really gonna take that?

>> Darwin: She just owned you. >> Gumball: What? You got a better idea?

>> Mom: Well, first of all, drop an octave. Then give her a taste of her own

medicine. Try this. [ Whispering indistinctly ]

>> Gumball: Uh, Tina, I'd just like to say that maybe you only bully people because you're

insecure about your walnut-sized brain and the fact that you smell like a sweaty butcher.

>> [ High-pitched ] I'll have you know that smell is a glandular problem!

>> [ Laughs ] "Glandular." [ Laughter ] >> Gumball: Wow.

It actually worked. >> Yeah, that was funny. But good luck when Tina comes

back and your mom's not around to hold your hand. >> Mom: don't worry, gummy-puss.

I'll hold your hand until college if i have to. >> [ Laughs ] "Gummy-puss."

>> Gumball: Oh, mom, stop embarrassing me! >> Oh, it burns!

My eyes! What was that?! >> Gumball: Uh, i don't know -- paint?

>> [ Whimpers ] Aah! My hair! What was that? >> Gumball: Uh, chlorine from

the pool? >> Unh! Aah! What was that? >> Gumball: Uh, fertilizer?

>> Uh, uh... Oh, i guess it's all right, then.

But that's still two hours of detention for potentially damaging my beautiful face.

>> Mom: Really, principal brown, you need to be firmer than that. >> Gumball: Huh?

>> O-okay. Four hours' detention. [ Poink! Poink! ]

Eight hours? [ Ting! ] Hmm. Good.

See you in detention, watterson. >> Gumball: Mom, you're not helping.

[ School bell rings ] >> [ Laughs ] >> [ Laughs ]

>> Mom: [ Laughs ] The nerds think you look like a dodeca-dork with your mom at

school. >> Darwin: [ Laughs ] What does that mean?

>> Mom: It's a 12-sided dork, honey. >> Darwin: [ Laughs ]

>> Gumball: Mom, you're not helping.

Mom, you're not helping! >> Mom: Whoo-whoo! Come on, honey.

Open the tunnel for the choo-choo train. >> Gumball: Mom, you're not

help-- [ Squeak! Squeak! Squeak! ] Enough!

The Tina thing was kind of helpful, but this has gone too far!

Wait a minute. [ Gulps ] I... [ Burps ] Thanks.

Now, seriously, i need you to stop meddling with my life! >> Mom: I'm not meddling.

I'm helping. >> Gumball: Helping by meddling. You're just a big meddler!

>> Mom: I'm not a meddler. I'm your mother! >> Darwin: And a meddler.

>> [ Laughs ] >> Mom: Hey! Isn't that the girl you like?

>> Gumball: Mom, no! >> Mom: Uh, excuse me, penny. Have you got a second?

>> Sure. Uh, you guys will need to be quick.

The cheerleader tryouts are about to start. >> Gumball: Mom, if you love me,

please don't do this. >> Mom: Oh, come on, gummy-puss. don't be shy.

My baby has something to say to you. >> Gumball: [ Gasps ]

No, i don't. >> Mom: He'd like to take you out on a date.

>> Gumball: Uh, that's not true. >> Mom: He loves you. >> Really?

>> Gumball: No, i don't! I don't love penny, and i never will!

>> Mom: Gumball! >> [ Voice breaking ] Well, thanks for being honest with me.

>> Gumball: No, wait! I meant I'll never love peanuts! No -- ponies!

[ Crying ] See what you did?! You upset penny!

How am i supposed to get her back?! >> Mom: Well, you know, i could

help you with that. >> Gumball: That's enough! Okay? That's enough!

I'm my own man now! I make my own decisions, and i don't need you babying me

anymo-- anymo-- [ Burps ]

Thanks. Now, just go home, okay? >> Mom: Oh, come on.

We all had a great time. Didn't we, Darwin? >> Darwin: To be honest, I've

never been so embarrassed in my entire life! >> Mom: Why are you smiling,

then? >> Darwin: Well, at first, i was trying not to hurt your

feelings, but now I'm just stuck! >> Gumball: [ Voice breaking ] I

beg of you, just get out of my life. >> Mom: Okay.

I guess I'll just go home, then. [ Cellphone rings ] [ Beep ]

>> Gumball: Mom, you've got to come back! I made my own decision!

It was a bad one -- a really, really bad one! >> Darwin: Oh, thank goodness

she's gone. I'll never smile again. >> Mom: Darwin!

>> Darwin: Mom, you're back! Yay! >> Mom: Do you know where your

brother is? >> Darwin: In the changing room. >> Mom: Thanks.

Gumball, it's me. Open the door. >> Gumball: [ Crying ] No! No, i won't!

>> Mom: What happened? >> Gumball: Oh, it's awful. I made a decision on my own, and

it was bad. >> Mom: Listen, whatever it is you've done, you need to come

out and face it. >> Gumball: All right. All right. I'm coming out.

>> Mom: Oh. You were gonna try and get closer to penny by joining her

cheer team, but now you feel embarrassed because you have to wear a skirt.

>> Gumball: What?! No! I'm gonna beat penny at her own game so she'll realize how

awesome and manly i am. Then she'll definitely want to date me.

>> Mom: Right. So, what's the problem? >> Gumball: The problem is me!

What if I'm not as good as the other girls?! What if they laugh at me?!

And this leotard makes me look fat, so i put this skirt on to hide my butt.

>> Mom: What exactly do you want me to do, honey? >> Gumball: Uh, hello?

Be there, of course? I need emotional support. You're my mom.

Start acting like it. >> Mom: [ Inhales deeply ] Okay, let's go.

>> ¶ Hey! ¶ ¶ hey! ¶ ¶ here we go ¶

¶ hey! ¶ ¶ hey! ¶ ¶ here we go ¶

¶ hey! ¶ ¶ hey! ¶ ¶ here we go ¶

¶ hey! ¶ ¶ hey! ¶

>> tsk, tsk, tsk. Now, penny, i have to say, I'm a little disappointed.

>> I know. It's just i had some emotional problems this afternoon --

>> you leave your emotions at the door! This is cheerleading, not drama

club! You better shape up or ship out, 'cause this is the big leagues,

sister, and right now you're at the bottom of the barrel! Is there anything you'd like to

add, principal brown? >> Only that we're making cuts today, and after that

performance, someone's going to have to be pretty bad for it not to be you.

>> Gumball: Am i too late?

[ Up-tempo dance music plays ]

[ Whip! ] [ Thud! ] >> Ow!

[ Whip! ]

[ Crack! ] [ Distorted voice ] No! Mom...

[ Both gasp ]

[ Cracking ] [ Squeak! ] [ Panting ]

>> Well, it's a no for me, Mr. small. >> It's a no for me, too.

>> That's two nos, gumball. You're going home. >> Gumball: [ Gasps ] No!

Mom, make them recount the score! Make them recount the score!

>> Mom: Well, zero plus zero equals zero, honey. >> Gumball: Why is the world so

cruel?! >> Mom: don't worry. You'll do better next time...

After a couple of years' intense training. >> Oh, gumball, thank you!

It was so brave of you to sacrifice your dignity so i can get on the team.

I guess that means you do like me. Just a little?

>> Gumball: [ Stammers ] [ Crying ] Peanuts. Ponies.

>> Mom: I think that means "yes." >> Gumball: Mom, you know when i

said i wanted to be my own man and make my own decisions? >> Mom: Yes.

>> Gumball: Can it just wait for a few years? >> Mom: The longer, the better,

honey. Even when you're 80, you'll still be my gummy-puss.

[ Boom! ]