Original subtitles

This is the final of Governor Cup

Wah Nam draws 4-4 with Super

in normal playing time of 90 minutes

They have to play in the extra time

At the second half of the extra time,

Super gets a direct free kick

Roberto waves and goes

A one-touch pass to midfield Bondy heads the ball

But the goal keeper blocks him

The ball goes over the goal It's just a goal kick

Roberto feels sorry, so do the fans

Super would score if the ball was headed

Super goes again. To right.

Mitchell tries to advance

He is tripped up

But he is alright

A free kick has been awarded to Super

The ball goes to the centre It's Wah Nam's turn to fight back

Pang Kam Ping beats one, kicks and beats the second one

A pass to midfield

The players kick their feet high

Fortunately, they do not get injured

Then Super gets back the ball

Lau Dong Ping passes it to Roberto

Roberto passes it to centre with his right leg

Mitchell heads the balls at goal

But the goal keeper catches the ball

The fans feel let down

The coach is pissed off

Come on, you have no time

Throw to Roberto

Roberto passes the ball to centre with his right leg

Mitchell passes it to Wong Bing An

He passes it with his left leg

Dragon picks up the pass

He makes a through pass to Mitchell

Mitchell passes the ball to Roberto

Roberto picks it with knee and passes

Bondy heads it The referee punishes Wah Nam

Offensive on the left

The player is ready to kick off

Roberto struggles to break the wall of players

Someone will fall down

Yes, Roberot is pushed down

The opponent gives a shot

But the goal keeper catches it

He kicks off but Roberto gets it

He gets through one after one

He shoots but the opponent kicks him down

He almost gets injured

The referee takes the ball

He gives a penalty kick

Of course, or I'll quit

Great! Roberto is smart

He lunges and shoots, 5-4

The referee blows the whistle, time out

The result is 5-4

Super wins the Governor Cup

And it ends the football season

Coming is a friendly match

Malaysia vs Super

The goal keeper of Malaysia is famous

He is Football Fa

He is the only player,

who arrives at the field by helicopter

His skill is well known

Now he is holding a press conference...

at a sport club

Football Fa

Show us something

Okay, I agree. Make it farther

Or I'll kick you to death

Our Malaysia's centre-forward is not weaker

than the Japs in HK

Isn't that right?

How cocky!

I... I was only joking!

Keep away or it may hit you

Take a few more for publicity

What do you think? Okay?

It's his wife!

Darling

Darling

Darling

Keep still. Take one like that

Keep away!

Miss Malaysia Wang Hsiao Hsien's pretty!

Right, she strikes a good pose

Keep closer

Still closer! Right! Good!

Come in

George

Who is it?

George

Hsiao Hsien

Brother Fa, what do you think of this match?

Right! What do you think of it?

We thrashed

every team we met

Really?

Don't bluff!

Right!

I'm not

Remember Stoughton?

Yes

How did you thrash them?

Well, how. They're powerful

We beat them like mashed potatoes

Mr Wang, which hotel is the Malay team in?

Those players are in Palace

Our goalmen are in my villa

Mr Wang, you're biased

He's the Captain

You're lucky, brother Fa

Football Fa, catch

Thank you

What is he doing?

Moustache

Isn't this ring beautiful?

Yes, it is

You like beautiful things since childhood

Is it a present from your husband?

Of course

You're so intimate

When are you going to have a girlfriend?

I thought you knew me well

Girls are a nuisance

When are you going to have a Little Football?

We've been married

for a full year but...

You're a good doctor

Check him up

Maybe he exhausts

his energy on football

What then?

Take tonics,

or he may easily become impotent

Nonsense

You haven't got it! How do you know?

You're vulgar, I'll beat you up

No more nonsense Don't break it

Brother Fa

Have you seen my wife?

She's gone there with Moustache, I think

Moustache?

If your husband knows, he may chop me off

He won't know

It wouldn't work

Maybe you help me bump off my husband

What do you want?

Make him take some medicine

No! Your husband's tough

Give me your word Thank you

No

Will you help me?

Kill your own husband?

Okay. Okay. Get rid of him

You're nice. Have a kiss

You two did a fine thing!

What happened?

Nothing, boss

Get back your key Thank you

Fatty Darling

You're getting smart

Are you tired?

No

Let's go back to the hotel

Haven't you told your wife?

Well, darling, I nearly forgot

Mr Wang wants us to move to his villa

Why? Why not stay with the other players?

It's so far away

I prefer the distance

No, I like the fresh air there

The air in Hong Kong is much polluted

This morning I heard someone cough

Cough?

You can move in

Okay! Okay!

Whey my husband's busy,

you can keep me company

Darling, is that right?

Of course not

Sure, why not?

It's so much fun to be together

Don't wear this for tonight's party

You look like a Christmas tree

And a money tree when you walk

These bells got me

the best designing award!

Aren't you going to meet

the Malay team?

Go now!

Come back early!

Still early. I must wait

Wait then

I must see the ending of Chen Shih-mei

This obsolete show has been

rerun many times

I can even recite all its lines Hopeless

Stop nagging

Your sports shoes make me mad

You've been wearing these since you dated me

When are you going to change them?

Whenever you took off

your shoes...

You made a disturbing noise

Soon you'll have Hong Kong foot too

Sure. I represent the HK football team

Don't talk back

I hate nagging myself, but

you're old enough to think

You can't play soccer all your life

Get some business to do for your future

Can you match

Yin Chih-chiang in soccer?

Can you match

Cheng Lung in filming?

Can you match Tan Yung-lun in singing?

Tan's running a Mongolian pot restaurant too!

In fact, I've been thinking of this too

Right!

Turn over a new leaf tomorrow!

Had any particular business in mind?

Selling egg rolls

Selling egg rolls?

How much can you make out of it?

It's so sweet

and has so much calorie

People going on diet

will resent it

Don't think everyone enjoys it like you do

I must go now

Are you going to change for another pair?

Never!

The car key!

How absent-mined you are!

Catch! How clumsy!

You never change your clothes

Your armpit odor is killing

Don't you agree?

Anita, stop that

A man has self-respect

Don't wash dirty linen in public

Good boy,

don't grow up like him

You really are hopeless

Stand aside

You really are nice!

What? Really hopeless

Take it easy

74, 75, 76

77, 78, 79

80. Hey, darling, don't work too hard

Take a rest Have a cup of milk

Darling, here you are

Darling, you're really nice, thanks

Darling, what's this?

Shrimp shell Shrimp with milk is nutritious

Shrimp shell?

Football Fa, we're all here

They're all here

Change now

You're so late

Come on, take a photo

Me, first

Go away! Go away!

Tell brother Fa to come down

Hey, come for a pose

You do it. I must make a prayer

What a shame!

What a loss of face!

Green! Green!

I can't stand green

I'm damned

Outrageous...

It's a family misfortune to have married her

This trap... Why have I fallen into?

Why chose him? What good is he?

I'll tear off your hair!

Tear! Tear!

Tear!

Are you alright?

Yes, I'm rehearsing my voice

BBQ pork buns, lily seed buns...

Shanghai buns, Kwangtung buns, Shantung...

Sesame buns, meat buns, lard buns...

Well, well, stop singing

Come down They're waiting!

What a shame!

What a shame! What a loss of face!

What a loss of face! Damn bitch!

What a loss of face!

Sorry, friends

Only an accident

I was scolded by my wife

I didn't mean to kill

Only an accident

My I card, my driving licence

Only...

Sue me for dangerous driving

Deduct my marks! Suspend my licence

I'm not an immigrant I have no guns

Come here! Come here! Come out!

Sue me. Don't be afraid

Ticket me

"Let's take a sunbath"

"Take off all the clothes"

"Don't be shy"

"Let's take a sunbath"

"Take off all the clothes"

Come down!

Eat!

How are you? How are you?

Help yourself

Don't be formal

He basks, and I bask in the sun...

Put the whole jar here please

Roberto is late

We've already finished

Did you get a hell from your wife?

No, you must have been ticketed

Right, right

Luck's against me

You're running out of luck

Football Fa! Football Fa!

Pig

Football Fa!

Roberto

Come on! Sit down!

We meet again

I was your fan

before I was a footballer

I was your fan

when I was in Malaysia

Drink

I can't drink without food

Never mind! Drink!

Good

Continue!

Thank you

Cousin, I really admire your technique

I saw the match in which that Thai forward broke your leg

Does it still hurt?

I received treatment

for six months

There are still screw nails inside

It can't pass the sensor at the Customs

I'm worse off Last year I charged and

banged into the post

Now my head aches when the weather changes

Drink and you'll

forget anything

Okay! Drink!

Hold it! What's the time now?

Time to report to your wife

Take my heart, take my heart

Listen, a successful man must have a woman

behind him, but...

An unsuccessful man, too

That's failure

Buddy, those women are dirty

Don't feed her enough before she's 70

Good, starve her

But she's already skinny

Starve her! Drink!

Why don't you drink?

I will

Drink!

Blow the trumpet

Ladies & gentlemen, the lucky draw

There are 15 big prizes, 30 small prizes

15, 13...

11, 12, 10, 13, 12...

Have you got thirteen wives?

Only one

But I've a team of 13

including reserves Want vinegar?

No, it's sour enough

The Indians line up for pissing

Nonsense

Right

The Indians won't do that!

It makes sense!

Let's go out and drink again

Okay, but I want some soup now

Okay, this way, please

The regular soup. Take it

Fantastic

It's pork lung soup!

It tastes real good

Good, good

Add some cream

Will it taste better?

Yes, much better

I'll give you one

Why don't you drink?

No, thank you

Drink! Drink...

No need! No need...

Let's feed him

I never drink soup

Anyone touching my wife, I'll get rid of him

You can't kill

the whole team

If I can't kill them,

I'll kill my wife

Good. Women are damned

Kill! Kill!

Roberto, we're good friends

Kill your wife too

Well, we're so happy tonight

I'll help you

kill your wife too

Kill my wife? Kill your wife!

Kill my wife?

Okay. Go to Repulse Bay to kill her

I'll go to Deep Water Bay to kill your wife

Then we'll drink again

Okay, it's a deal

That's a deal

I'll kill your wife and you kill mine

Okay

I must be off. Please

We're so happy tonight I'll help you

Keep away, or I'll be tough

Don't be afraid!

Chop it if it springs over!

Don't let it go

What kind of a chicken this is? So tough?

A cock

How can a cock be stewed?

A cock once castrated is no longer a cock

It's no different from a hen

It's no different from an old hen

It's macho and nutritious

I should've asked the vendor

to slaughter it

I shouldn't have let him down today

I'll make amends

with a stewed chicken

Terrible!

What is it?

It's run away!

I must get it back first

Roberto, I adore you!

Sorry, I have no choice

Go to hell!

I'll kill you!

Roberto!

Who are you?

I am what I am

Why are you here?

To kill you

Don't! My husband's coming back soon

He's tall

and powerful

Is that so?

Of course! He's valiant and resourceful

He helps the weak and

robs the rich to support the poor

He can even tell the sex of a fly

How could your husband have married you?

But the advantage is he won't be a cuckold

What?

Watch out

May I ask, what do you want?

Nothing

Listen, if you want murder & my fortune

I'll chop you, and call the police

If you only...

fall for my beauty,

you have good taste

and I'll let you go

I fall for your beauty

What I hate most in my life is a sex fiend

I'll castrate you like I do my chicken

It was not my fault

Not your fault? Who dictated you?

Your husband Roberto told me to kill you

Roberto?

Yes!

He wants to kill me?

Why does he want to kill me?

Has he another woman?

Yes, he has another woman

He really has another woman

Roberto, I'll die here

I'll kill myself!

Don't! Put down your chopper!

Watch out! Put down your chopper!

Sit down! Watch out!

Sit down! Listen

In this enlightened age

love doesn't count for much

Me, for instance

My wife often cuckolds me

but I just laugh it off

What's the matter with me?

I'm supposed to have come to kill her

Kill her

Damn Roberto, I won't let you have this

lt'd be bad if my wife knew it

The first thing is to switch on TV

Don't be in the way I must watch TV

Darling, why didn't you wake me up?

Reharse! Reharse!

Football Fa!

Roberto

I enjoy seeing your football match

I also watched soccer when in Malaysia

Let me make you a cup of coffee

No need

The toilet? It's downstairs

You go. I'm not going

I'll go alone then

Okay

Thank you

Make yourself at home

Roberto, I seem to have killed your wife

Killed my wife?

Why did you kill her?

What? You told me to kill her

You must be drunk

Why did you kill her?

Darling! Darling!

Darling! Darling!

Football Fa, give me back my wife!

Go to hell!

You told me

to kill her

I'll kill you

Let's talk it over. It's a knife!

I'll kill you

I'll call the police

You trapped me

You're ungrateful, you're dirty

Go to hell!

Give me back my wife...

I'll kill you!

Don't you remember?

I love to be with you

You hit her with a broom

after killing her

With a broom?

I didn't!

She became a chicken

before dying

Your wife is a chicken

Right, right, my wife is a whore

I'm unlucky

to have married her

Don't grasp me, I'll give up

Fa, there's no death sentence in HK

At worst you'll get 60 years

60 years? I'll be 90 then

My wife

would have eloped then

It was all my fault...

Don't hurt yourself Stop crying

Don't be sad

Don't cry

My wife has died,

not yours

Brother Fa, don't cry!

I won't arrest you anymore

I don't mind getting jailed,

but George...

may use my tooth-paste to brush his teeth

and kiss my wife

The thought of it makes me sick

Brother Fa, no more nonsense

At most I'll hide your tooth-paste for you

What if he kissed my wife

without brushing his teeth?

Brother Fa, no more nonsense

At worst I'll get someone

to remove him

You kill the forward, you can't kill the guard

I'm damned to have taken such a wife

I killed and got ruined

and now...

I'm dying in a foreign land

It's family misfortune

Wait for me here!

Where are you going?

I Roberto am not an ungrateful man

To lift you

out of the gutter

I'll do anything for you

Can I stand by and do nothing?

Can I not return his favor?

Favor?

How are you going to repay me?

To kill your wife

I'll chop you

I'm a dog meat eater

Darling!

They're all waiting for you!

Come out! He's back

Happy birthday! Happy birthday!

Happy birthday! Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!

Switch on the light!

Who are you?

He's Ching Ying's forward Roberto

He's brother Fa's friend

That's me

How could you have been mistaken?

Your husband's busy

He told me

to slice the cake for him It's new

It's new, it's won't stick

It sticks because of the fire

Without fire it won't stick

Never mind Let's have a good time

When will my husband return?

He said I used a broom to hit his wife?

So close

My wife!

Roberto, why don't you eat?

What are you doing? Put it down

Roberto, you have a funny name

They called me that

after I changed my hairdo

You do look funny

Have you known my husband long?

We got acquainted only last night

but we're quite on good terms

Nancy, go away! Go away!

Sorry, you're new to her

Once she knows you better, she'll be friendly

If my wife

saw me like that

she'd give me a hell A pity, she can't

If my dog bit me,

my husband would have

slaughtered her

He adores me so much

Go upstairs with me, will you?

Go upstairs?

Come on!

Damn Roberto, bloody Roberto...

You're a beast...

Where are you, honey?

Just a dead chicken

Roberto

Brother Fa

What? Mourning over your wife?

No need, just mourn over mine

Sorry, Fa, I can't fix your wife

Can you?

Haven't you fixed her already?

I can't possible kill your wife

I feel so lonely

after the loss of mine

I always feel so hollow now

In fact, your wife is not bad

She's nice and beautiful

So you're wooing her, right?

You think it's today's fashion?

You're ungrateful You're a sex maniac

You have no trust at all

You're fooling around with my wife

I am not!

Kill her then!

If you don't, you're doing me an injustice

Alright! Alright!

Kill her then!

Okay, but she knows me now

I must make some preparation

Don't try to stall for time

I won't

I'll give you 3 days

to get rid of her

If you can't kill her

you'll be cursed with a freak

I have had enough

Don't eat egg rolls only Eat some rice

Be nice

Roberto, you look chic

What a fancy suit

A new TV show

needs a footballer for the male lead

None's more suited than you

A new TV show?

Yes! Yes!

A gigolo in the soccer field

Rice with BBQ pork!

How about mango?

Yes

Roberto!

What a coincidence, Roberto

Why are you eating lunch box?

Anita won't cook for you?

I see, his wife must be punishing him

Don't remind him of his sad story

He gets a hell from his wife every day

Right! What a shame for a man to

be insulted in public

What? My wife is most considerate

She specially

designed this for me

What a fancy costume

Damn you!

Looks quite smart

Of course

I'll have Anita design one

for my husband

Let's go to see her

I'm going next-door to buy a broom

Give me a broom

He has to buy

brooms himself

I'm having a whitewash at home

Shall we go and help you?

No, my home is now in a mess

I'll invite you when it's cleaned up

We don't mind

Right, we don't mind

Excuse me

I've a lot of shopping to do

Madam, please, please

I want several baskets and buckets...

Sanitary napkins, detergent, brushes...

I want 10 yards of water pipe too

A footballer has many girl admirers

A strong man makes a good coolie

Do some more whitewash Thank you

Thank you

I'll invite you when I've redone my house

I still have to buy flowers

He must be keeping a mistress

Yes

Drop in to see me when you can. Bye

Drop in to see me when you have time

Could Roberto be fooling around?

You can never tell

Could he be visiting the grave?

He must be fooling around

I can see

The black spots in his eyes

Is he really out of shape?

Never mind that obsolete monster

If I were you,

I'd break his legs

Don't you know

your husband's mistress?

Go and find out quickly

Hide in my home

Go up and see

Okay. My husband is spineless

He dare not fool around even when alone

Let me remind you it's almost 3 days now

If you can't kill

my wife then

you won't end up well

I need some planning

Bye

A TV addict in South Thailand

had his TV set switched on

beside his bathtub and watched it

while taking his bath

The TV set

accidentally fell into

his bathtub and had a short circuit

He was injured and later confirmed dead

TV audience are advised

to keep their

TV sets properly to avoid similar accidents

Would this work?

No! No! Lmpossible

Why not?

When I first saw your wife

she was watching TV at the swimming pool

A swimming pool's different from a bathtub

Buy a bigger TV set

Right!

Show her an

Explosive Gang movie

When the explosion

scene occurs

Kick the TV set into water and

get her electrocuted

A high drama film makes no difference

Right, a high drama is more romantic

Just pick any

Cantonese feature movie

Okay!

Get a tear jerker Liang Tien-lai

How about a Sleeping Beauty cartoon?

Forget it!

Darling, come down and see

Darling

Darling

Darling

Thank you, darling You're really nice

I've bought you

a TV set to kill the time

Why is there no vision?

It's not yet

switched on

Once switched on, it's okay

Why is there still no vision?

Maybe the antenna

Roberto can fix it

He's a TV fan like you

Go and answer the phone

Madam. I'm Roberto

Roberto, can you fix the antenna?

When will you fix it for me?

Don't worry, I'll fix it

I'm anxious to watch it

I'll come tonight

We all miss you

Miss me? Are you sure?

Fix it for me quick

See you tonight

Bitch!

Okay, drink

Drink! You've lost! Drink!

Again!

Zero

Miss, put it down first

Coming

Again!

5

10

15

5

Zero!

10

Zero...

10

How come?

Drink!

Fa, Fa, come on!

Come and play Bengal with me

Good! We can play Bengal

I'll play Bengal

with Roberto inside

Fixed?

All fixed Stall for time

Bengal, Bengal...

I've lost. Again...

No bid

Zero

10

10, quick!

20

No bid

No bid. Zero

Open!

Okay

15

20

You're smart. I was take...

Again! I win!

Why is there no vision?

There's going to be

Never mind, there's electricity

Fang Yen-fen. Chen Pao-chu

Chen Pao-chu in her childhood Come and see

I know. I've long been her fan

I joined her Movie Fan's Club

when a child

You're spineless

What do you mean?

What's wrong with joining her Club?

I even learnt Cantonese opera for her sake

Did you? You can sing opera?

Sing some for me

Okay, but don't complain

What? Sing now!

Don't weep

Full of melancholy

Life is transient as the morning dew

Departure is inevitable

Inevitable departure

Inevitable departure

Why are you always

singing the same tune?

Why not sing something else?

A bolt out of the blue

A pot of rice turns red in a twinkle

I kill a tramp with a chopper

Saying goodbye, I send you away

What?

Why are you pushing the TV set?

Is it an interruption?

Let's combine to remove it

Don't! Don't!

Kick the water! Kick the water!

The more you kick

the better I sing

Put your feet into water

Right! Kick! You're nice!

Let me put on the imperial robe to play Emperor

Kick the water! Kick the water!

I like chilli sauce and bean sprouts

I say sayonara and sorry

and you're finished

Hurrah! Hurrah!

Roberto, where are you?

Who's that woman with you?

Don't misunderstand, darling

That's Fa's wife

We've been a married couple

Some day I'll settle with you

Don't think

you can live comfortable

after getting someone to kill me?

Listen

I'll never die in peace

I'll make you go through all tortures

in the underworld

before sending you

down to the 18-layer hell

Darling, wait for me! Wait for me!

Don't be silly Come up first

Don't tug at me

Darling, take her away

Take me away with the snow-flakes on TV

I'll pull you up

Don't tug at me

Why is the Captain not urging us to go?

He never played this before

Roberto has been playing the whole night

Our Captain

have not won one single game

You asked for it

Robert! Robert! Bengal...

One slap, sorry...

Bengal. Bengal...

Come again, Bengal

One slap, sorry!

Bengal... Again

Bengal

Captain, we're leaving You go on

This time I've won. Going?

Why don't you stay for a little longer?

Is the pep talk at 7:30 am tomorrow?

You worked too hard You'll have tomorrow off

Off?

What's the matter?

Bengal, you've lost

Bengal, sorry! Again

Bengal...

Your mouth is disgusting I'll kill you

Bengal...

Bengal...

Feel better?

Sorry, I seldom talk to others about this

Never mind, this way you'll feel better

My wife's different

She's so talkative

that any trifle at home is circulated

to people in the whole area

My husband keeps everything in his heart

and won't confide anything to me

My wife always pulls a long face

She looks peevish even

when she's happy

My husband is exactly the opposite

He smiles even though he's angry

He's easy to get along then

Never. He always keeps his mouth shut

It's easy to make a man talk

Is that so? How?

Just tell him he's complicated

Do you know how to please a female?

Remember her birthday

but don't ever remember her age

No wonder my wife dislikes it

I always remember her birthday each year

and her age too

Some say you can judge a man's character

by seeing what he keeps in a fridge

What do you mean?

He who keeps more meats is realistic

He who keeps more fruits is optimistic

He who keeps more remnants is pragmatic

My fridge contains nothing at all

Nothing but a dozen cups of ice-cream

This shows you're romantic

Have a cup of "coconut roman"

Catch

Try my "honey dew roman"

"Coconut roman"

This room is getting prettier

The plant is special

Come here, come here quick! Look!

That plant was in full bloom

Why has it no leaves now?

My husband must be back

Husband?

Why are you so late?

And you too

Let me cook some snacks for you

Why not stay

till tomorrow morning?

You look like a superman in my uniform

I'll go up and change it for you

Roberto, wait

Darling let him stay

My wife is already pulling your hand

Stay a little longer

I'll go up and change this for you

Darling, why don't you retain him?

Why should we retain him?

I'm worried about him

Why?

He has recently lost his wife

He may kill himself

Don't you know that?

Yes, a little

But not too much

You're complicated!

Me, complicated?

Darling, you're really nice

"My heart sinks"

"After you disappeared"

"Sad air is everywhere"

"Keeping me in our corner"

"I hate you yesterday but I love you today"

"But now"

"I can't see you"

"Love comes"

"But I leave it"

"I come, But love is gone"

"i'll be sad for a century"

"I'm keeping our corner"

"When I find you, i'll tell you"

"I never know that..."

"I really love you"

Darling, why are you crying?

Why are you sitting here?

Can't I sit here?

4 days ago

you sent someone to kill me

A spirit returns only in a week!

It's not yet seven days

7 days?

You're already having a rendezvous

Don't think you can live in peace

As a ghost I won't let you go

What do you need below then?

How do you know I'm below?

Why don't you come and see me?

How dare I come to see you?

Sooner or later I will

But not now

You really are heartless

Darling, darling I dare not

Listen, they're nice to me

I fare even better than I did here

Darling, I miss you

Miss me?

I saw you dressed up

sending flowers to your mistress

I didn't! I'm innocent

There's nothing between us I almost killed her

In fact, she's naive

Naive? Tell her not to put on airs

Can she compete with me?

By lifting my finger I could crush her

You're soft

How was that cassette?

Did she say I was pretty?

Did she feel any inferiority complex?

You're divine Let me worship you

I'm infinitely grateful

One bow, two bows, three bows

Roberto

I'll burn more joss papers for you

Come back! Roberto

Are you possessed?

Open up! Open up!

Brother Fa, open up!

Come down, Fa!

I must talk to you

Come down!

Coming! Coming! Don't knock anymore!

Fa, please open up quick

Blast! My wife's spirit has come back

Go out first My wife will hear it!

Fa, it's true, I didn't lie

Don't be a chicken, there's no ghost!

She said she's a ghost

Could you be possessed?

I'm serious

I even talked with her

Did you ask her

if she's a ghost?

She was like a will-o-the-wisp

It's downpouring now

But she hasn't got one drop

on her body without an umbrella

She even said she came from below

This time I'm finished

I'm finished...

Roberto, don't cry...

What is it noisy?

Look, he must miss his wife terribly

He's been muttering nonsense

About his wife

and acting oddly

He may kill himself!

Look at him He's coming at this hour

muttering nonsense

Is that all? It's nothing serious

I'll give him

some sedatives

You really are my idol

Don't mention it

Give some to my husband too

He has been acting oddly

Is that so?

A kind of powder

can tone down his voice

Put it into the milk and let him

drink it tomorrow morning

It will take effect in three days

Really?

If my husband

knew I fed him with medicine

he might slaughter me

Don't you trust me?

Don't worry Let him take it

At worst he might become a cripple

You're evil

Your husband might take long

Let's go up

Have you got medicine for me?

Yes, none's more experienced than I in this

Sex fiend

Fa, they're trying to outsmart us

Let's move fast! Come on!

Okay

Darling!

Quiet!

Don't be afraid! I'll soothe you...

Kill her

Burn them I'll buy you a tin of gasoline

You think this is Cambodia?

A city engulfed by war flames?

Buy several native bombs to

blow them up

Where can we get these in broad daylight?

Supermarket?

Tell the illegal immigrant next door

We need bombs Can we do that?

What then?

Killing is a serious business

Watch out

You promised

to kill my wife, but

apparently you've fallen for her

Crazy

You really

are too suspicious

They're not trying to kill us

It's not fun

Let me think

Those stupid ideas

Not as stupid as buying bombs

Well, let's each try

to figure out something

See which of us got a better idea

I can't! My wife's at home!

My wife's at home too!

My wife is a ghost

Stay in my house for a few days then

Friend who wants to buy bombs?

It's newly made

Your friend?

I don't want it

Nor do I

Don't tease me! I can't stand that

I'm religious I don't take pineapple

Life is hard in Hong Kong

Terrific!

That's great, isn't it? Let me see

Keep away

When it faces the gas pipe, saw it from above

I know. You're wicked

When the sun shines at the crack, it'll explode

Everything goes to pieces then?

I'll cover it

till the adulterers...

frolic in water

to blow them up

That's too complicated

My plan is different

Is simple and easy

It leaves no trace at all

What are you doing? Eating popsicles?

It may prick you to death

Take it away

In 5 minutes

the ice-picks will melt

leaving no trace at all

Fantastic! I'll send you a bunch of flowers

Feminine thinking nothing special

Nothing special?

Reverse! Reverse! Reverse...

Okay

It's small Would it be fatal?

Formerly an ox

passing through the Amazon

turned into a skeleton in a minute

So serious?

You don't believe I'll show you

Fantastic?

Cruel!

Cruel? Don't be silly

They are man-eating fish

Look, even the net has been bitten

Listen, I'll make a watergate here

The bolt is over the stairs there

Only if that bitch

steps down that ladder

the watergate's open and the fish swim out

Bengal...

That's better than drowning in cage

I think so too

Look, your wife will

never stand up again

Isn't that great?

This is called Cut Into Two

I assure you she'll die terribly

Sayonara

Sayonara

Change that slicer

into a knife

Why? Isn't it good for cutting into half?

Cutting into two

gets only 20% of wound

She won't die instantly, but suffers

Her hands will keep grasping...

She'll die slowly when the blood drips dry

Yes, but...

But what?

Why not use two slicers to cut her into 3?

Or a cross to cut her like beancurd...

I don't mean that

I want her to have a intact body

So I can pay last respects to her

What?

How did you

kill my wife?

Now even her body

is missing

Well, give me some face

No! If I could get some horses

I'd have them

tear her to pieces

You're a beast. I should have

chopped your wife

to pieces

Calm down

After chopping your wife,

I'll hide half

of it in Tsewanshan and half in West Point

so she'll never reincarnate

Well, I'll pick your wife's body up

And exhibit it naked to the public

Well, I'll have your wife's bust...

flogged...

and the lower part raped...

You hear it, you all hear it

I knew you fell for my wife

I never knew you were so dirty

You're mad

You think everyone loves your wife?

You think your wife is pretty?

I'm leaving

I'd rather live with

my ghost-wife than stay with you

Get lost! Get lost!

Okay

Don't ever come back again!

I won't

Get killed!

Ghost!

Don't run!

Darling, I'm sorry!

I'll worship you every Ching Ming

& Chung Yang

That's not

good enough

I'll worship you also on...

Women's Day

Valentine's Day, X'mas

I'm human I need no sacrifices

Damn you

What the matter with you?

Sit down

Are you human or a ghost?

Speak up!

Never mind

Does it hurt badly?

What's the trouble?

My heart aches

Stop laughing

I'm relieved you're still alive

Who were you sent to kill me?

He...

Speak up, or I'll chop you into two

He's Football Fa He's a bit cranky

Which Football Fa?

Who was that woman with you?

She's Football Fa's wife

You fool around with a friend's wife?

Is she as gentle as I am?

You're spineless

Wait! Wait!

I must see her. I must see her!

What?

Darling, wait, I'll return right away

She might get killed if I was late

I'll kill myself then

Believe me I'll return right away

Damn Roberto

Madam! Madam!

Roberto, it's nice of you to see me

Get dressed and leave here

Why?

No need

If you come upon...

It will be worse. Put it on

Do you want me

to put it on or not?

Madam, don't ever take a bath!

Why?

There's sunshine

Can't I take a bath with sunshine?

Yes!

No! It's...

What do you want to tell me?

Nothing! Nothing!

Nothing!

Let's swim

Why hurry? You haven't dressed yet

It's fast, dress and undress...

Switch off the gas first

Don't waste gas

Don't waste money...

It's fixed

Did you hurt your hand?

It's hot, very hot!

It's hot like hell!

I'm having a fever

I'm burning

What are you doing? Swimming together?

You're frolicking in water

I'll drown you

Give back your dress

to my wife

Darling, what are you doing?

Put down the ice-picks

There's nothing

between us

I want you two to lie down in bed

Let's go

Don't! Don't!

Darling, are you out of your mind

Don't misunderstand Listen to my explanation

Okay

Speak up

Don't be afraid He was only joking

Don't you want face?

You wanted your wife's body to be intact

Now I don't want face anymore

I'll give you a full body

I'll chop you

and mess you up

Are you satisfied with such a combination?

You're doing me an injustice

Keep away!

I'll kill a ghost all the same

Well, with what?

Ice-picks

A melting ice-pick

Dare you kill me? I'll chop you

It was all your fault!

My fault?

Frankly,

I told him to use a knife

but he insisted on using a gate

He told me to kill you

He told me to fix you

What?

I told you to use something simple

Is there anything simple in killing?

Darling, be our arbitrator

He designed this

to let the sun

shine on the gas pipe

till it explodes

You call that simple?

Did your idea work?

You said it would melt without leaving any trace

You can't kill my wife,

but my finger's freezing

Freezing!

I was damn stupid to cooperate with you

Now I don't have to

My wife's here!

Well, I'll go home

to rejoin my wife. Bye!

So your wife's still alive and

you meant only

to woo my wife

Never

Don't think every man falls for your wife

You always suspect being cuckolded

Have you no self-confidence?

You're hopeless

Me, hopeless?

If you're not

You wouldn't have been bullied

And you wouldn't have needed

my help to kill her

Don't point at me or I'll be angry

I don't need your help any more

You can't kill my wife

I can't kill yours

It's even. Let's have a break

Forget what has happened

Good, let's split! Please!

No need! Listen, lousy men!

We'll have a break

with you too

Don't cry. Follow me! Don't follow us!

Only women!

Darling

Darling! Wait, you misunderstand

Misunderstand?

I was drunk that night

I told you

not to get drunk

I thought you were dead

Roberto!

How would I be so cruel as to kill you?

In fact, I'm simple-minded

That's why you found a man to kill me

If you were complicated, you'd tear me to pieces

Right!

He said he'd just talk horses

he'd do that

I was simple-minded but

he influenced me

Where are you taking my wife?

I'll slap you!

Darling!

Don't leave me behind!

You're an idiot

How did you teach your wife?

She's skinny like a chick

How dare you insult her?

Why not?

Go to hell!

I can't swim. Help!

Is it true?

Help!

Come up!

Help!

Man-eating fish!

Well, bite them!

What a

lousy idea

Let's go

Help! Darling

Let's go! Come up!

What has become of you?

"Dream is telling its past"

"The stars can't help crying"

"In my heart-breaking life"

"No star even listens to me"

"I love him, but we still break up"

"Like a lonely light boat"

"drifting in a deep ocean"

"Who can break..."

"my frozen heart again?"

"Who can fill my heart with warmth?"

"Who can make me forget the sadness?"

"Your love..."

"broke my frozen heart"

"Filled my heart with warmth"

"Burned the dark around"

"But bygones are bygones"

One for you, one for you

Grasp more

You too

Don't spit! Swallow them!

What are you doing?

He tries to poison me

When will it take effect?

Three days

Three days?

Are you sure it takes that long?

Two days

You're in good health

I'll kill you

Stop that! Let's talk it over

Take a double dose, then one day will do

Even a panacea takes time

I gave you double doses

One day will do

One day?

You're disgusting

Darling!

Cheer up Give him all the pills

Okay, let's die together

See if you die or not

Don't!

Swallow all of them

Shut! Where's my wife?

Where's my wife?

I don't know

You don't know?

You don't know?

I saw them leave together

Go to hell!

You two are ungrateful

You sex maniac

Don't be in my way

Brother Fa! Wait!

Killing him

won't help anyway

I'll give you face

Let's go up and change

Go to hell!

That sex friend has left

Before we get poisoned,

let's find our wives

What now?

Go! Go!

Nancy, get out!

Let her stay Maybe she can lead us

It's not safe

for a female at this hour

What a male chauvinist

Sex discrimination against a dog?

I'm afraid she might get raped

She's so big and strong

Nancy, get out! Go!

Go

Go!

Need car park?

Thank you

Now that we're out, let's have a good time

Keep your mind off that creep

I'll try

Miss

A woman need not depend on a man for a living

We can be independent

Good, let's drink to every woman in the world

Let's dance

So late?

A long story They're waiting below

Many are waiting for you

Excuse us

Bye-bye

Football Fa! Roberto!

I'm your fan Give me a autograph

What a beautiful car

With two honey dolls!

Right, they suit my taste...

Little girl!

You must be waiting for your friends

Dance with me

I'm Journey of Love

I'm Love Gay

Sorry, we don't enjoy that

Never mind. Little brother

Follow me, and I'll hit you

Calm down. Let's dance...

Dance with me

Where's that bloody army surgeon?

And this side

What a long kiss

Boss

What a coincidence

There's no shame on this

Roberto and I also often change taste

Yes, let's change for a new taste

They're playing dumb

They are addicts too

Watch out, sister

If you contract that... you can't play soccer

Don't worry

I've given them antibiotics

Look

They're now in high spirits

Go and thank George

Thank you, George

Don't mention it

I won't interrupt you

Let's go. Let's go

Go over there

Bye-bye

What's wrong? A man...

Don't look

What now?

Go home then

Look! My wife is over there!

My wife!

Go home with me...

Let's go

Sorry, darling

Follow them!

Don't play the fool

We're gays

Go to hell!

Swell!

Taxi

Where's your car?

I'll come for it some other day

Make way! Make way!

Darling!

Get in!

Go away!

Give me an autograph

Nonsense. Go!

Quiet... Go!

What a niggard!

You're still thinking of him?

No

They'll keep up soon

Faster

What now?

Let's go to the peak

His car's not powerful enough

The Peak, Garden Road, please

You said your car was powerful

My car is fast going down the slope

What about going up the slope?

Where's that car?

How do I know?

Taxi!

It was this taxi

It's going up the peak

Excuse us! We must go to the peak

Please excuse us!

Sir, we must go to the peak

Follow the queue

My wife is in that tram

You must follow the queue anyway

Chase the peak tram

Wait

Please switch off the air-conditioning

Darling

Your husband!

Wait for me!

Wait for me! Darling...

What a bore

Yes, I'm bold

Look, how strong I am

Roberto

I'll go up to intercept them

Follow them

Strive! Strive hard!

Strive!

Wait for me, wait for me

What do you want?

Sorry, sorry

What a coincidence Enjoy the scenery?

I often went up here

to practice

I know the surroundings Let me lead

Don't follow me

You must be joking

Touch me, and I'll shout!

She's my wife

We don't know him

He's a sex fiend

Only a misunderstanding

Sit down

Strive! Strive!

Make way

Damn him

This way, please

Listen to my explanation

Don't tug at me

Let's go

Darling

Darling

What's it? Only a misunderstanding

Darling, wait for me!

Roberto, come up quick

My wife and I

are returning home

My wife won't wait

Where's my wife?

Hurry up! All your fault

You're strong I'm gasping

Ladies & gentlemen, the lift-off will begin

The wedding ceremony is unique in HK

After exchanging

wedding rings

the newlyweds

will take the balloon

to their new home

Let me have a drink

Tu Tsing-tsing

Will you marry Chen Chih-tao?

I will

Mr Chen, will you marry her?

I will, I will

Have you seen my wife?

What?

She's beautiful

Have you seen my wife?

She's thin

like your wife

Let go!

He enjoys seducing a friend's wife

Let go!

I didn't. You...

Let's talk it over...

Darling, bye-bye!

I'll go and find my wife

My wife! Darling!

Bye-bye!

Do you know how to land?

No, no idea

Darling, help me!

I'm coming

Don't be afraid! Darling! One side each...

Darling!

Don't be afraid! Darling!

What now?

Let's talk it over

Don't be afraid. Darling, I'm coming up

Grasp at the basket

Watch out, darling!

Cling to me! Quick!

Hold close! Don't fall down!

Darling

Please don't do that to me. I'm tired

Honey Darling

It's not my fault, darling

It's his fault

It's your fault

It's your fault

It's his fault

It's your fault

It's... Bastard

Bye

"She kissed me"

"But now I'm lonely"

"I'm upset with my dry lips"

"I can't help it"

"I run with a hammer in hand"

"Just want to smash the bad"

"I can't forget the past"

"I can't get her out of my mind"

"I'm used to her caress"

"Her toe touching my leg"

"She kissed me"

"But now I'm lonely"

"Touching my legs with my hands"

"I'm still lonely"

"I'm still lonely"